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"See, it's not that my girlfriend's sleeping with your boyfriend," Lucas explains, his eyes wide and blue and just a little crazier than Wilson's entirely comfortable with. "It's that we gave them chances. Right? I mean, you were practically throwing House at her the whole time we were together."
Wilson flicks his eyes around for an escape. "I, I didn't mean--"
"Oh, sure you did. Don't worry, we worked that out with the badger."
"...possum?" Wilson asks faintly. Lucas's hand on the back of Wilson's couch reaches past Wilson's shoulder, like a Bizarro World twist on the yawn-and-hug maneuver.
Lucas stops. Wilson's breath catches in-- disappointment?-- before Lucas says, "Oh, yeah, the badger was my tax guy. Animal procurement is totally a legitimate deduction."
Wilson nods politely. "Anyway..."
"Anyway, they're happy together. So Lisa says. I don't believe her, but." Lucas shrugs. "I figure this is how we make sure."
He kisses Wilson exactly like a guy who evades lock and key for a living would have to kiss, sneaky and slippery and fast.
Wilson says, "Urk!" and, "Ermmn," and then, pausing to breathe, "Yeah. Good to-- make sure."
"Nothing like commitment," Lucas says, nearly seriously, and kisses him again.