Chapter Text
Jorah and I walked across the estate to my room. The night had no sounds but of the servants still throwing their small party. I liked coming out of the nightmare to moments like these. Ones of pure bliss with no need to worry.
As soon as we were in my room Jorah pulled me to him, his hands going up and down my sides as we kissed. His hands always paused for a moment on my tits so I could take in their pressure. I took his face in my hands and ran my fingers across his cheeks.
I took the moment in as with each breath I fell more in love him. He pushed me against my closed doors and I leaned my head back as he kissed me. I moaned softly as he nearly ripped off my clothing. When I was fully naked he carried me to my bed, my legs around him.
I closed my eyes as he kissed my inner thigh. At times he would get close to my cunt only to move away.
"Ah..." I moaned softly as he lightly kissed my cunt.
I started squeezing my own tits, playing with my nipples, as Jorah seemed to be refusing to eat me out. When he finally started eating me out I nearly yelled out with all the built up tension. My legs pressed his face harder on my cunt as my hands grabbed his head.
"Mm..." I moaned loudly as I got lost in the sensation.
I felt the pleasure build up and my body seemed unable to take it. Shivering I knew I was about to come.
"No...you...stay...there..." I moaned as I felt Jorah about to get up again.
In response he kissed my inner thigh before continuing to eat me out. I closed my eyes and yelled out as I came. I released my prisoner from my grasp and he kissed my lips. I helped him out of his clothes. I took great pleasure in removing each article of clothing.
I kissed him in various parts when I removed different articles of clothing. It was amusing to hear his breathing increase as I continued. Once he was naked he entered me and pushed me down on the bed. As he started his thrusts we were able to get fully on the bed.
My fingernails dug into his back as he went harder. It was hard to think of him as anything but young and virile with how well he fucked me.
"Rin..." Jorah moaned as I felt him shiver in ecstasy.
"Jor...ah..." I moaned and we kissed.
Our position changed and I was on top of him. His mouth went to my tits and I rode him. Soon enough both of us yelled out as we came, me a few seconds before him.
I rolled off of him and found myself in his arms. My eyes were tired and I smiled at him, glad that he was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
* * *
I held my hand up and Drogon growled. He was not showing any sign of backing down and neither was I. Currently I was trying to make him stay and seeing how well he'd take the command. Daenerys, as usual, was able to control him with less difficulty than me.
Of course she was his mother and so he considered her his alpha. I was just a strange creature that was commanding him.
"He's staying still, I think you've done enough." Daenerys told me.
"The point isn't just to stay still but to gain my trust that he'll continue to stay still until my say so." I replied.
Currently Daenerys, Drogon, and myself were a short distance away from the Raqus estate for training today. Jorah wasn't here and was, instead, being pampered by mother most likely. I was continuing my duties as 'dragon trainer' though I had to constantly remind the queen that her dragons would never get over their nature.
Dragons could learn to take commands but if they really wanted to do something, no amount of training could stop them. They would always be dangerous and would always be wild. Their play could end with the death of those they cared about.
"Why do you need to train them so hard on that fact?" Daenerys asked as Drogon finally sat completely still.
"Because telling a dragon to stay or stop is extremely important." I told her. "If they try to kill your ally or they try to kill you it lessens the chances of death. Not completely but enough for some semblance of hope."
"My dragons would never kill me."
In her voice I could hear absolute certainty about that fact. She had absolute faith that her dragons wouldn't think of harming her. She thought she was safe from their wrath. Her pride would be her undoing if she didn't get control of it. Humility was needed when working with dragons.
You had to accept that death could come at any moment.
"I'm not saying they would mean to, my queen." I told her as I slowly backed away from Drogon, all the while watching for any sign of movement from him. "But they might be angry for only a moment before calming down. That one moment could mean death for you. I am certain that they would mourn, but sorrow means nothing to a corpse."
"Sometimes I think you worry too much, Rin." Daenerys said.
With a simple hand gesture I indicated to Drogon to come forward. He looked over to Daenerys and then he walked to me.
"Slower." I told him as he was moving much too quickly.
As I thought I would have to get out of the way of an angry dragon, he slowed down. I raised my hand out and he lightly touched it with his snout. He made a soft sound and then I petted him. I didn't say something like 'good boy' or 'that was good' and instead let my actions indicate I was pleased.
Not for the first time I was impressed to see a living dragon. Dragons were some of the most wondrous creatures in this world and I was honored to be working with them again. I wondered about the other two dragons and how they would differ from Drogon.
Drogon seemed to share a loyalty to Daenerys that was akin to my dragon's loyalty to me. I hoped that the other two had such loyalties as that would make things easier. But I wouldn't keep my hopes up for nothing.
"Have you thought about the qualities you'd look in for the other dragon riders?" Daenerys asked as Drogon relaxed.
"I was thinking that you would decide on that." I told her and backed away from the dragon. "You are their mother and I don't want to intrude on what is yours."
"They are my children but you seem to be able to connect to them in a way I can't."
"I had a dragon for a number of years. You'll get that experience in time."
"I don't have years to figure out how to understand them."
I understood the rush of figuring the creatures out. Unlike my problems with my own powers, training the dragons was more important. I could fight as a dragon and as a human with my powers being the 'cherry on top' as the people of the nightmare would say.
"It depends on the dragons." I told her. "I would expect the dragons to pick out who they would prefer as riders."
"And what if they chose wrong?" The queen asked. "What if they chose a traitor as a rider?"
"I will make sure that doesn't happen. Most dragons aren't bound like I was to mine. If a rider fails there will always be another."
Daenerys just looked at Drogon and I wondered what was going on inside her head. I wondered how much she really trusted me and how much she trusted me because there was no other choice. If she only trusted me because I was the only choice then if another trainer came there would be more competition.
I don't know why that worried me as I needed the help. Especially when I was in charge of three dragons and still needed to perform my other duties. Maybe it was the fact that I was worried that if she felt angry with me or Jorah then there would be nothing I could use to stay in her good graces. And if Jorah was again dismissed by her I'd have to deal with him trying to get back in her good graces.
If that happened while trying to retake the Iron Throne things could get chaotic extremely quickly.
"How did you figure things out with your dragon?" Daenerys asked me. "You had no one."
"And you have done great with your dragons on your own." I told her as Drogon walked away. "We both learned the same way: there was no other choice but to go forward."
"You didn't think of your dragon as your child?"
"Why would I? If anything we'd be sisters."
I had grown up with Direwolves as my only family and the land as my home. My dragon was connected to my very being, even when she had died and I couldn't understand thinking of her as my child. We were both children of the world. Her home the sky and mine the land.
"When I retake the Iron Throne you will be rewarded." Daenerys replied. "I do owe Jorah more than I can ever repay."
"So you're paying part of his rewards to me?" I asked, glad she was acknowledging her mistake with him.
"I know he has forgiven me but what I did could've killed him. I should've questioned him more and held judgment until later."
"He still would probably cut off his cock for you."
Daenerys laughed and I was surprised at the sound. It was so unlike her royal posture that it was shocking. It was a bit of humanity that seemed to be shown rarely. Maybe she still thought of me as too distant to treat like a friend.
I didn't blame her.
"I do want him to have an heir." She finally said, a grin still on her face. "And I want you to have a child."
"So he has told you about our House?" I asked.
"I will let you choose where you will find your home."
It was the least she could do for Jorah. This was all about Jorah and I just happened to get a good deal out of it. Except that I would be in one place and no longer free to roam around as I was used to. But falling asleep next to him would be worth it.
"I've been all over Westeros and deciding where to settle down is a hard choice to make." I told Daenerys. "Each part has its own beauty."
We both watched as Drogon took to the skies. Each flap of his wings sending shivers down my spine. It was such a freeing sight to see a dragon fly and I yearned to join him. The call of the sky was so strong at times.
* * *
A pillow flew at my face and I dodged it. For an hour Jorah and myself had been trying to recreate what I had done to the woman without making the pillow explode. A shield would be useful even outside of the field of battle. We had chosen pillows as if I messed up there wouldn't be deadly shards coming at me.
Jorah still stood back in case my shield caused him to explode. It was a fear that would be engraved on my mind until I fully mastered my powers.
"You seem tired." He told me and I shook my head.
"I'm not tired." I lied. "I need to understand what I did so I don't accidently make someone die again. It all happened without my meaning to that one time."
Jorah seemed to pick up my tiredness but again threw the pillow at me. The power inside me demanded to be kept inside as it didn't see a point to this. I managed to put a shield up for a mere moment before it rolled towards me on the ground.
I picked it up to see if I had managed not to damage it. This was the first time one of these exercises hadn't resulted in something being damaged. I held it up with a smile.
"Now to figure out how to make an actual working shield." I said, a smile still on my face.
"I think a break is in order." Jorah said and stood next to me.
"I guess I can spare a moment or two."
I put the pillow down and imagined how dangerous I could become if I wanted to. I still preferred using pure human abilities and I still worked on keeping those abilities intact. I wouldn't let them go away because I had found something better. If I were to be pushed into a corner, I would need all my resources to win. All my abilities would be important then.
"Have you ever been in battle?" Jorah asked me.
"No." I replied. "I've watched humans kill each other that way, though. Sometimes going to the battlefield to look at the corpses. Sometimes eating them if I needed an easy kill. I've fought for my life countless times but what you would consider a battle, no."
"So retaking Meereen will be your first battle." Jorah said. "If you were any other woman I would say that you had no place on a battlefield. But you take the issues of life and death without question. Without comment."
"If I die I won't die as a coward. I won't scream but will merely bow my head at my fate."
"Battle isn't a glorious thing, especially when you're in the thick of it. Sometimes it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist as things are bleak."
I remembered watching battles. While I had never been 'in the thick of it' I could tell the toll it took on the participants. My then human senses could pick up moments where some of the fighters forgot who they were. Their movements didn't change, but it was as if something in their essence did.
"Then why fight if there is no glory to be found?" I asked him.
"Something awakens in me when a sword is in my hand." Jorah replied. "And while there isn't glory to be found in battle, the causes they are fought for are such I can't stay silent."
Looking at him I saw the loyalty that burned in his veins even when his journey took him deep into the night. Loyalty was something that guided his actions even when he couldn't see and was blind to what was truly right.
"I want to run away from this humanity," I admitted to him. "But I keep on finding it calling to me. Even when I didn't know I was human I reached out a caring hand to help. I think father is right in that I have too big of a heart. I see someone in trouble and I can't help but show my support. I was just as kind as I was cruel."
"Franc Raqus says you don't see Houses and that you see people," Jorah said after a moment. "Are you fighting for Daenerys' House to reclaim the throne or are you fighting for me?"
"I do not care who sits on the Iron Throne. One House can quickly turn to darkness while another can spend years in the light before falling down in the vastness of the abyss. Houses also contain people who have a variety of opinions. Any fighting I do for Daenerys, outside of retaking Meereen, is so that you can sleep at night. If you are lost to me I don't know if can keep fighting a fight that doesn't make sense to me."
"Can you promise me something, Rin?"
"Anything, Jorah."
And for a moment I was worried the promise I would have to keep. I was worried it was a promise I could never keep. The heat of the day turned cold as my worry built up in me.
"If I die, continue to fight." Jorah told me. "If there is one person who should rule it is Daenerys. I do not know a better ruler than her."
"I will do it." I promised and took his hands in mine. "If you fall in battle I will die before I let her join us in death. I promise this by my dragon."
"And I will hold you to it."
I didn't doubt that he would rise from the dead if I broke the promise. His loyalty to others ran deep or at least it could. I also didn't doubt his love for me and if someone wronged me he would seek vengeance against them.
The question of who was the alpha here I didn't know. I think he would follow me as much as I would follow him. Unlike with Alex, I could trust Jorah with my whole being. With my very essence.
"What do you think Daenerys will do once she is on the throne?" I asked him. "Will she still be the same person?"
"She will be a wiser person." Jorah answered. "No one stays the same after war. Not even the purest soul can stay sane."
"Will she be able to stay clean after having to make the choices we have had to?"
There was silence that I read as doubt. It was a great battle to stay a beacon of light in such a dark world and I didn't know if Daenerys could remain as she was. Already I could see a ruler when I looked at her which meant dark times ahead for her.
"She will make the decisions she has to." Jorah said simply. "Are you rested enough to try the pillow again?"
I nodded and realized the dodging of my question. If there was doubt in his mind about her I wouldn't help it grow. It wouldn't be fair to him or Daenerys.
We stood back to our original positions and I kept my senses fully focused on the pillow. I didn't get distracted as I watched Jorah. When the pillow left his hands I focused on the power in me. I decided instead of forcing my power to my will to instead calm it.
I promised it that though its journey would be scary that there would be a home for it to return to. That I would not leave it in the nothingness where it would go to.
My eyes paid attention to the world around me and when the pillow bounced off the shield I smiled. Laughter poured out of my mouth as I felt relief. It was just one instance where things had worked out and I would have to repeat the same thing, but at least it could be done.
At least it wasn't a helpless venture after all.
For thirty more minutes we practiced. The majority of the time I could put up my shield successfully, though the instances of failure were a little too numerous for my liking. We stopped once the pillow exploded.
* * *
Jorah and my swords clashed as we sparred. While sweat dripped down both our brows, it was much more relaxing than putting up the shield earlier. As the reverberations went up my arm I felt centered to the world. I felt centered to the world I knew.
We parted ways and then we came back to each other. A dance for the ages I thought. My breathing increased but I kept calm, the only thing I focused on was him. I focused on his sword and the tiniest movements from him. I looked for the small signs that his body couldn't help but give away. The fact that I had to hide my movements from him was constantly on my mind.
The sword came too close to me and I was barely able to block his swing in time. My mistake took me a few more moves to finally correct. Jorah used this time to try and make the winning blow. I gave credit to the one moment where I felt I would lose the fight. But then I recovered and the moment was gone.
There were no words traded as we only talked the language of blow to blow. We spoke only the language of metal against metal now. The beauty of the world was summed up in our two movements. There was nothing else that mattered.
Jorah feinted left and I didn't parry his move soon enough. The next few movements, quick and yet slow enough for me to study, saw his sword at my throat without a way for me to get out.
"So you can fight." I said and he lowered his blade.
"I've been fighting much longer than you." Jorah said with a small smile.
"I can see that now."
We had already been sparring for quite some time. There were still some things that had to be done before I was able to rest in my bed. Before I could fall asleep in Jorah's arms and pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist.
"Didn't the Raqus want to have an early dinner tonight?" Jorah asked as he put his sword back in its scabbard.
I blinked.
Looking into Alex's eyes I was scared of the hopelessness I saw. I was so used to seeing a loving, obsessive, or stoic gaze coming from them. Him not having hope made me fear for the fate of this reality.
"Know what helps me sleep at night, Alex?" I finally asked him.
"What?" He asked.
"Seeing the hope in your eyes. It gives me hope and the ability to cope in this reality."
"What if I lose mine?"
He was asking the question that was tearing at me and wouldn't let go. I didn't want to tell him that if he didn't have hope, neither did I. I couldn't tell him the truth this time.
"If we are the only two people left, I will not back down." I replied. "I will not stop fighting until my last breath is stolen from me."
"Now which one of us is an idiot?" He asked.
I smiled up at him and we kissed. Soon I was on top of him and the hopelessness had left his eyes. He looked at me like I had all the answers to the questions he was too scared to ask. Maybe I couldn't answer them all, but I would be here for those that I could.