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While they both adore the dogs, Scott and John would really love to get a cat as well. They need someone… something… some "person"… to rule the roost and help corral the dogs, since John is terrible at it and Scott just likes watching them all herd John. The problem is Scott is hopelessly allergic to cats.
Of course, being allergic to cats means that Scott pets every cat they meet. He just can't resist them, and really, cats seem to know which humans are allergic to them anyway, so it's not like he can stay away from them when they go visiting friends. John used to pick the cats up and toss them away with a glare and a kiss. That just meant that the fur went from the cat to John to Scott, and Scott still ended up taking an antihistamine, except without the pleasure of petting the damn thing first. Okay, he got to pet John, depending on where they were, or really depending how many people were watching. But damn it, if he was going to get the itchy eyes and god-awful stuffed-head from the beasts he could at least have the fun of rubbing his face in their fur directly.
He said as much the night of the Panto wrap party, after taking a few too many antihistamines.
Don was hosting the official to-do, a "Friar Tuck Goes 'Round the Bend" themed thing with pretty boys (and a few girls) dressed up in mini skirted monk's robes while they wandered around with odd sounding hors d'oeuvres. As luck, or fate, Scott supposed, would have it, Don happened to have one of the most beautiful Himalayan cats Scott had ever seen. Being the true Queen of the house, she strutted around knowing that she owned the upper levels even as the cast and families took over the main floor. The cat was truly gorgeous, all soft cream fur with a splotch of black on the right side of her face. John said it made her look like she was auditioning for Phantom. Scott's hands itched to stroke the silky fur, but he resisted. John naturally watched him like a hawk, between hot pink martinis.
Mid-way through the night John found Scott tucked into an alcove on the second floor, the cat draped over his lap. The clumps of two inch long cream and black hairs on his blue oxford a testament to how long the two had been loving on each other.
"Figured I'd fine you here," John said with a sigh.
"Too noisy downstairs." Scott hugged the cat to his chest, rubbing his already itching nose in her fur.
"And you couldn't just nick into the library? You had to come up here and snog the cat?"
Scott grinned winsomely up at John through watery eyes, his cheeks as pink as the cat's nose. "She asked very nicely."
"And you call me hopeless," John reached a hand down to his partner. "Come on. Let's get you home before you stop breathing."
"'Already took meds." Scott kissed the cat's head and put her down with a final stroke along her back. When he stood up only John's arms stopped him from landing face first at the bottom of the stairs. John peered into Scott's unfocused eyes.
"How many did you take?"
"Two… I think? Maybe three."
****
The argument really picked up steam once they got home, with John insisting that Scott couldn't be trusted with cats on his own. Scott batted at the Naughty Friar Tuck award hanging around John's neck in annoyance.
"But it's my face!"
"True," John said pushing open the front door and ducking away from a second attempt on his award. He tightened his hold around Scott's waist with his free arm. "It's a very lovely face, and I'd like it to stay that way."
"Itz not like I'll turn all furry or something," Scott said, laying his overly heavy head on John's shoulder. His nose was running and his eyes itched horribly. He desperately wanted to lie down and sleep for a week, but the front step was in his way.
"Again true. You will, however, feel like crap for days, kinda like now." John got them maneuvered into the house to the sound of three insanely happy dogs.
"Shit," Scott said, trying to cover his ears with arms that only sort of worked. His joints were grinding over each other backwards to the sound of the mariachi band in his head.
"Go sit on the couch, I'll deal with them," John said, guiding Scott gently toward the living room. "Come on boys, leave daddy alone, he was a bad kid and had unprotected play with another critter."
"Wanker."
"You know it!" John called from the head of his parade of dogs.
Scott fell heavily onto the couch and instantly regretted it. The throbbing in behind his eyes flared into a full blown 1812 Overture. He twisted so his head was flat on the cushions, one leg still on the floor, the other hanging off the end of the couch bouncing in mid air.
"Here," John's voice came from above him just before a warm cloth settled over his eyes. Scott groaned. The couch sagged as John sat down and took Scott's head in his lap, running his fingers lightly through his hair.
"Idiot," John said fondly.
"Cat lover." Scott retorted with a pout.
"Idiot cat lover," John replied.
Scott shrugged.
"You're never going to let me get a cat are you?" Scott asked from under the rapidly cooling cloth.
John lifted a corner and peered down at Scott. "Are you going to go to the allergist? And take the bloody shots?"
Scott made a disgruntled noise.
"Then no, I am never going to let you get a cat."
"But they like me."
John dropped the cloth back over Scott's eyes. "They like your histamine reaction."
"Since when do you get to be the grown up in this relationship?" Scott asked not caring that he sounded about five years old, maybe three.
"Since you stuck your face in a Himalayan pussy."
Scott resisted the urge to kick John, even if the angle weren't impossibly bad, the impact would certainly make his head hurt worse, and John would stop petting his hair.
Scott sighed. "I suppose this means you want another dog?"
John's hand stopped moving. Scott could feel John's body convulsing around him, silent laughter rippling through the abs above his face. John lost the fight, a long barking chain of laughter erupting from his chest, startling the dogs in the kitchen. They of course came running to see what the fun was, jabbering the whole way, which only made John laugh harder.
Finally John caught his breath and leaned down to kiss Scott.
"Maaaybe."