Gerard has been in and out of the hospital for almost six months now. He started by having chest pains weeks before he came to the doctor for the first time, knowing that it could be dangerous. Heart diseases had always been an issue in his family; his grandparents and father had passed because of their weak hearts, so he was worried. The first times he had appointments, nothing much happened. He went through some ECGs and was sent home when his doctor couldn't find anything specific and simply related the pain he was feeling to pure stress.
A couple of weeks with no visits to the doctor and Gerard had his first heart attack. It wasn't pretty. He was at his brother's house, thankfully, because had he been alone at home and he could have died without anyone knowing until it was too late. However, Mikey was with him and, even though it was scary, it was comforting to have someone there to help him. After that day, it was days after days spent in the hospital, doctors leaning over him, wires all around him, worry clouds above his head every single day.
And then there was Frank.
Frank was the nurse that watched over Gerard's case since the first appointment. He told Gerard that usually this wouldn't happen, that only doctors get assigned to a case, not really nurses, but that Frank himself didn't work like that. He cared about his patients and he liked being told how each case was progressing, and that was only the first thing that made Gerard like and admire Frank.
Unfortunately, Gerard started coming to the hospital a lot, but the good part was that Frank was there most of the time. He was an incredibly sweet person and he always told Gerard everything about what the doctors would be doing. He explained every single procedure, solved every doubt Gerard might have and he was certainly the most caring nurse Gerard had seen around. If Gerard was staying at the hospital, Frank would come by his room by the end of every shift, asking Gerard how he was feeling, bringing him snacks or simply wishing him a good night if he'd been working the afternoon shift. Those little moments and niceties slowly helped Gerard falling for him. And he was falling fast.
Frank has been there every day since Gerard had his last heart attack. It was the third one in less than six months and the doctors were worried. Now, it's been three months and Gerard has been in and out of the hospital so that his doctors can study his condition, test after horrifying test.
Today, Gerard feels like he has done every kind of test there is, yet today here he is for another medical procedure. According to the doctor, this one will decide if Gerard needs heart surgery or not. They're going to do something called a cardiac catheterization, consisting of threading a catheter through the femoral artery up to Gerard's heart to check for any anomalies. The catheter will be inserted through a small puncture on Gerard's groin and Gerard knows he'll be sedated and won't feel a thing, but it's still terrifying.
The smile on Frank's face is reassuring, though. He's always so calm, always knowing what's going on with Gerard and telling Gerard that everything will be alright. It's crazy how fast Gerard started crushing on him, but that's a completely different story.
"Hey there, Gerard," Frank says as he walks inside the room Gerard's been in for a couple of hours now. Frank is wearing his working blue uniform that falls so loosely on him and brings a wheeling cart with a bunch of stuff on it. Gerard can't really pay attention to what it is. He's blinded by the beautiful smile Frank is showing.
Frank is smiling because he's been comfortable around Gerard since the very first day while Gerard's heart always beats stupidly fast when Frank is around. He's the kindest, sweetest person Gerard has ever had contact with and he's also so beautiful, with defined jawlines and big, hazel eyes that draw Gerard in. Not to mention that Frank's soothing voice is always there when Gerard needs to be reassured that he's going to live another day. He doubts that more often than not, unfortunately.
Today's one of those days, actually, but it's not due to the cardiac procedure he's due in less than an hour. It's just that, upon seeing Frank, Gerard feels his heartbeat gaining speed and he can only wish he's healthy enough to live through this moment. For the few days in between Gerard's last appointment with his doctor and today, Gerard has been thinking about finally saying something to Frank that isn't only related to heart diseases. He wished for the guts to ask Frank out, or just ask him if he would like to see Gerard outside the hospital, but given the chance to he can't form any words. Just Frank's scrutinizing, happy eyes make him step back on his intentions.
"How are you?" Frank asks, casually. He emits a questioning sound when Gerard looks down at his hands instead of answering. It's not that he feels bad, but his heartbeat is actually scaring him a little bit. And his hands are shaking. "Are you alright?"
"Not really," Gerard finally manages to process a few words, although they're still tangled in his tongue. He looks up to either apologize or silently ask for help, but Frank is closer now. He's probably trying to figure out what's wrong with Gerard.
"Don't be nervous," it's what Frank says. His smile remains on his lips and it's stunning. It makes his eyes shine so bright and Gerard gets pulled in to them once again. He can't look away, but when he tries to dismiss Frank's words, since this is definitely not about being nervous, he can't. His throat is still clogged.
"Listen, I know it's a complicated procedure," Frank continues, placing a reassuring hand on Gerard's shoulder. It feels warm and heavy, squeezing the flesh a little, but Gerard can only keep his gaze on Frank's eyes. They're the only seas he sees, even if Frank doesn't get him just yet. He's saying, "I understand you're scared, as this is about your heart, but it's going to be fine. You've been through so much already. It's not a catheter that's going to bring you down, is it?"
Frank opens the tenderest smile Gerard has ever seen. It's so small but significant, and Gerard flicks his eyes to it for a second. Gazing back up and finding Frank staring intently at him, with a frown atop his brows, Gerard closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He's freaking out over nothing. Maybe he should just move on with this.
"Yeah, I'm just—" He can't really find a word to use for his lie, but he can't admit it just yet. Frank is so damn intense; he's breaking every wall Gerard has built around himself his whole life, since he swore to himself that he wouldn't let anybody else hurt him in this way. And yet just the sight of Frank's face is tearing him apart. However, he might not be able to control his heart, but he can try to control his mind. "Anxious, I guess."
"Well, don't be."
"Easier said than done," Gerard says, opening his eyes again and looking up at Frank. He's not as close now and Gerard is trying to breathe slowly in order to stay focused on what's supposed to happen here.
"Alright, look. Do you want me to go through what's going to happen again? I mean, just to assure you that everything—"
"No, it's fine. I just need to take a deep breath and relax." Gerard means to say more, but he trails off a little, swiftly looking down at Frank's mouth. Frank contorts it to the side like he's considering saying something, but what could Frank have to say to him anyway? Whatever it is, it gets lost in Gerard's next words, "If you say it's okay, I trust you. It's always been okay, so why not?"
"That's the spirit." Frank's smile doesn't change a bit, but his eyes lose some tenderness as he goes back to his nurse mode. He says, "Look, I came here to prep you for the procedure. Is that okay? Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" Gerard questions him, now starting to feel nervous about this medical test. He remembers that the doctor told him what it was last week, but he isn't sure he remembers every detail he was told.
Frank tilts his head to the side. "Well, in less than an hour, I'll be taking you into the catheterization room, remember? Listen, you don't need to be scared. If there's someone in the whole country that knows what they're doing with a catheter, it's Dr. Owens. She's the best you could have ever gotten, trust me. And you've got the best nurse as well, so you can't say you're unlucky."
"Oh." Gerard can't really react. He knows Frank is just trying to make Gerard feel better about everything, but it's not really helping. Frank is so adorable in trying to make Gerard laugh, but he actually agrees that Frank is the best nurse around, so the best he can do is a nervous giggle. And still a fast heartbeat. Damn.
Mumbling something Gerard can't really hear, Frank turns to the wheeled cart for a second before he looks back at Gerard with a somewhat apologetic look. Then, he says, "I'm just trying to relax you, okay? It's gonna be fine, but now I really need to prep you. I mean, shave you?"
"Shave me where?" Gerard panics a little, looking at the cart and seeing a small razor inside a plastic sachet. The doctor told him, a week ago, that it would be easier to perform this test through the vessels on Gerard's upper thigh, but she didn't mention anything about Frank having private time with his private parts and a razor. Gerard isn't really sure if he's ready to tell Frank about his crush, let alone let him see into Gerard's underwear.
Frank doesn't say anything; just stares at Gerard. He might be a nurse and might be used to this procedure, but he's a really gorgeous nurse. And this idea of Frank getting to see him naked when Gerard is not under some medical test is kind of bothering him. It certainly does not tame his heart.
"Well," Frank says at last, while Gerard keeps staring through him because he can't quite look away. He's fully enthralled by the honesty in Frank's expression, just letting Gerard know that this must be done no matter what he feels. "You can do it yourself, but I'd still have to check the area to make sure it's alright for the catheterization."
Gerard looks down after this because there's no way to escape. He feels Frank touching his arm afterwards and saying, "I'm sorry, Gerard, but we're running out of time. How do you want to do this?"
He shrugs. "You can do it, I guess. If you're still going to have to check it, why not?"
"Alright. Could you—" Frank trails off and gestures with his hand towards Gerard, as he turns to the wheeled cart. Gerard frowns, but he understands that Frank is just doing his job. "Lie down, please. And don't forget your… gown."
Gerard hums and nods, decided to not get bothered about such a common procedure. Everybody goes through this in this kind of situation, so he lies down on his back over the tilted back of the bed and fumbles with the hospital gown until it's rolled up over his hips. Gerard doesn't know what he should do with his boxer briefs, though, so he leaves them be. He won't be showing any skin unless it's absolutely necessary. He already feels so exposed to Frank and can't even think about the fact that soon Frank's hands will be all over him. All over his crotch.
"You okay?" Frank asks again, staring straight into Gerard's eyes. Gerard replies affirmatively, gazing back at him and realizing that Frank's expression has changed slightly. His confident smile is gone and there's some sort of frown on his brow, which worries Gerard, but he doesn't mention it.
Gerard just watches Frank as he pulls the cart closer and picks up a small blue sheet from the lower shelf. He covers Gerard's thighs with it and mumbles something that sounds a lot like an "Excuse me," before he drapes the edge of the sheet around the hem of Gerard's underwear. Frank pulls it down a bit, Gerard's eyes widening because he isn't ready for this at all, and then Frank turns to the cart and starts bathing a sponge in a small basin with clear water. There's nothing too complicated about this, it's only a nurse prepping a patient for a medical procedure, but that's not what Gerard's heart is telling him. He's nervous and his heartbeat won't go down. After all, Frank is as close to Gerard's crotch as it can get and Gerard feels vulnerable all of a sudden.
When Frank swipes the sponge over his left groin, Gerard shivers. Although the water is fresh, Gerard thinks it's not related to that, not when Frank is so up close and concentrated on those inches of skin that not many people in Gerard's life have seen. Gerard observes as Frank passes the sponge from the top of his thigh to his hipbone, applying soft swipes, and then as Frank puts it down and reaches for the razor.
"Stay still, okay?" Gerard looks back into Frank's eyes as he hums accordingly, but his eyes swift down on Frank's next movement. He shaves the area in small movements upward and the razor slides smoothly on Gerard's skin, but still making him shiver. It's not so much the process in itself, but the fact that Frank is sort of bending over him. That's a sight Gerard had maybe thought about when he was home alone, but it was never like this.
At some point, Frank slides the razor to the side, dangerously approaching Gerard's actual crotch and Gerard tears his eyes away. He can't see this, Frank focused on his dick like this, otherwise things that aren't really appropriate to feel towards your nurse will happen. It's not like it would be a terrible thing or whatever, but Gerard is still not really comfortable with letting Frank know about what he feels. At least, not without actually telling him something first.
He doesn't seem to need to tell Frank anything, though. A few moments later, Frank says that he's halfway finished and plunges the razor into the water, before getting the sponge again and swiping at Gerard's right groin. He says, "I have to do both because I dunno which side Dr. Owens will be puncturing for the catheterization, okay?"
Gerard nods in silence, of course. His throat feels clogged and, on top of that, he would stutter whatever he could say. He can't get over the fact that Frank is leaning over him, practically breathing over his cock and, oh god, he can actually feel it.
"Stop it, Gerard," he whispers to himself, trying to talk himself down from this tenseness without Frank catching up, but Frank seems to hear him anyway.
"Is something wrong?" he asks, hand hovering over Gerard's dick. Alright, there's only so much Gerard can take; he's only human. He wants his next hum to be a mere confirmation that he's okay, but he can't help it when it comes out a little strangled. It's like he's in pain or, in this case, in a rare moment of sweet pleasure.
Gerard decides to nod instead and closes his eyes, just trying to deal with what Frank is doing. Frank is a nurse and he's doing what he would do to any other patient, except Gerard is not just another patient. He's the one with a terrible crush on Frank, the one who has wished for this to happen, yet not in a hospital room and not with a razor in Frank's hand.
"Gerard." He hears his own name being called a couple more times and, when he looks, Frank is staring at him with arched eyebrows. He tips his head to the side, but Gerard doesn't really get what he's trying to say. Except Frank asks, "Do you want me to stop?"
Gerard frowns. "Why would I—" Looking down, however, is when Gerard sees that he's maybe getting a little too excited over the fact that Frank is so close.
"Oh God," Gerard whines at his very obvious body and covers his eyes with an arm. He gestures towards the nurse with his other hand, meaning to tell him that he should carry on. Gerard will try to deal with the fact that he's getting hard over this, but how could he not? He's been crushing on this guy for months now and, while Frank has been up close with a lot of Gerard's body parts, it was never this close and they were never alone, for damn's sake.
Somehow Gerard feels a hand brushing over his hipbone, maybe smoothening the area so that Frank can continue shaving him there, but his body understands this small gesture in a completely different way. Frank is touching him, okay, stretching the skin just below Gerard's belly button and shaving the hairs there. This is not something Gerard has done before, not even to himself, so his skin is not only a virgin, but he's a blushing virgin himself. He can totally feel his cheeks burning up.
"I'm so sorry," he says to Frank within a small groan, putting his arm down and lifting his head to look at the nurse. Frank is hovering right over his dick, though, and Gerard realizes that he's more than just halfway hard. It's embarrassing.
"Don't worry," Frank talks it out in his very smooth way. He's so comfortable with everything and probably trying to help Gerard feel less tense about this, but he really can't. Frank is talking to him from his crotch, damn it. "This happens sometimes."
Gerard groans again because it doesn't mean anything to him. It has never happened to him. He tries to even out his breaths and calm down his heart, but how can he? Every time he looks down the only thing he sees is Frank's head over him, and he can't help but to focus on Frank's mouth. Overall, he just looks so calm like usual, yet here is Gerard trying to talk himself down from getting hard over being shaved.
Until he's finished, Frank doesn't say anything else. Sometimes he looks up at Gerard who, although embarrassed, can't really turn his eyes away from seeing this. It's probably the closest he will get to have his fantasies over Frank come true, Frank so close to him, Frank seeing his dick, and when he's hard too. This is too much.
"I'm just about done, don't worry," Frank says, making Gerard's eyes widen. Did he say something out loud? His heart rate picks up again and he tries to control it through his breath, but then Frank smoothes his hand on Gerard's groin and Gerard groans a little, feeling the twitch of his cock signaling that he's ready. He's ready for something that he can't really have right now, not so close to have a cardiac procedure performed.
The next time Gerard looks down, Frank is leaning back and smiling at him.
"I'm done here," he says softly, his gentle smile making Gerard even more nervous. He's not ready for the awkwardness that is certainly going to come. How is he going to face his doctor with a fucking hard-on? Because with Frank being so beautiful and the memories of his face leaning over Gerard's hard cock will not help it to go down, that's for sure.
While they're staring at each other, though, Gerard feels his cheeks warming up even more, but then he notices the way Frank is biting his bottom lip. He seems anxious about something too. The next thing Gerard knows is Frank putting his hand back on Gerard's left groin, caressing his palm around the shaved area and saying, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Gerard swallows every bit of sanity he has left as Frank smiles at him in a completely different way. He doesn't look like a nurse now. His eyes are no longer tender and professional. They're looking for something else and okay, the way his hand is inching closer to the area below Gerard's navel says much more about this moment.
"Because, you know," Frank continues, pushing the cart to the side and approaching Gerard slowly. "I feel like you've had this small crush on me for a long time."
The look on Frank's eyes is not innocent, then. Has he always known about Gerard's feelings or is he playing this game based on how Gerard got hard from the mere touches of Frank's razor? This doesn't make Gerard feel better, though. He's even more nervous, realizing that he's been acting like a kid, wanting to ask Frank out but never saying a word about it, and wanting to face Frank naturally but only acting like a fool with a crush. Well, he is a fool with a crush on his nurse, God.
"It's okay, though," Frank speaks again, his hand caressing its way up Gerard's stomach. It carries shivers along with it and rolls the gown further up, exposing so much more of Gerard's skin than he ever wanted to expose in a hospital room with no doctors or machines around. It's disturbing, but also really, really hot. Gerard feels it deep under his skin and certainly in his raising heartbeat.
He can't really focus on anything, his eyes shifting in between Frank's gorgeous, glistening eyes and Frank's smirk. It's too much to handle, but Gerard can't really say a word to confirm his crush. He can't move or talk at all. His heart is in his mouth and, no matter how much he gulps or flicks his eyes towards something other than Frank's face, he's always pulled back in to it. He can't resist Frank and he has known that for a long time now.
He's fucking hopeless.
"There's nothing to worry about," Frank says, his voice reducing to a mere whisper when he's close enough for Gerard to feel Frank's breath on his nose. Frank is close and Gerard could just lean in, just a tiny inch, and he would finally close the gap and fulfill one of his first fantasies. He's been thinking about kissing Frank since the second or third appointment he went through under Frank's scrutinizing gaze. It's crazy.
"Feeling's mutual." Frank's revelation surprises Gerard, but the best part is definitely when Frank leans in and covers Gerard's mouth with his. It's a small kiss, barely lips rubbing together, but Gerard loses every drop of shyness. He inhales deeply, bringing his hands to Frank's cheeks and kissing the hell out of him. He has waited for too damn long.
Frank pulls away with a soft gasp and leans his forehead against Gerard's while Gerard closes his eyes and relishes the phantom feeling of Frank's lips. They were so soft and gentle, with no particular taste, just Frank and it was perfect. He wishes he had done something like this a long time ago.
"Not so shy now, huh?" Frank asks wittily, making Gerard open his eyes and find Frank's beautiful hazels staring at him. He swims in them for a small moment, flicking his gaze back and forth between them and Frank's lips a few times. He smiles because he can't help it; he'd wanted something like this for so long that he couldn't hold back.
"I've just— wanted that—"
"I know." Frank's whispered words feel warm against Gerard's lips. Gerard licks them swiftly and goes back in for another kiss, just a peck and another taste of Frank so he can take it home and daydream about this at the end of every day. However, he doesn't expect Frank to be blunt enough to just slide his hand under Gerard's underwear and reach out for his cock.
"Shit," Gerard mumbles against Frank's smirking mouth. He's only half hard now, but if Frank keeps up with his strokes, the situation will change quickly. It wasn't purely accidental that he got hard over Frank shaving his crotch after all.
"You want me to do something about this?" Frank asks, blunt as ever, squeezing Gerard's cock gently.
Gerard never thought he'd play along with this game, but he finds himself nodding and muttering, "Yes, please." Well, at least he's polite about it.
Frank, however, is not so polite when he grabs Gerard by the hand and pulls him up. Gerard feels so stupid right now, being dragged to the hospital room's bathroom with his free hand holding on to his falling underwear. It's ridiculous, but he ends up chuckling about it until the moment Frank releases his hand and presses his body against the door. It closes behind Gerard and then he's up close with Frank's mouth again, and Frank is saying,
"You have no idea how much I wanted to get you locked up somewhere, but I honestly never thought you would play along. You're always so shy and quiet when you're in for whatever kind of procedure, but you're so mysterious all the fucking time and I've just been wondering what's under this shell. Because it is a shell, right? You can't possibly be so shy, not with the way you kissed me back just now."
"But I am," Gerard says, warming up. His heart keeps beating fast, of course, a rhythm that's practically natural by now. He can also feel the blush covering his cheeks now.
Frank scoffs with a gorgeous, kind smile on his lips. "Look at you," he says, shaking his head before he draws a hand under Gerard's ear and pulls their faces closer again. This time, the kiss is sweeter and Gerard doesn't move a muscle. He lets himself enjoy this moment. He might never experience it again.
As soon as Frank's kiss deepens, there's no going back. Gerard gets his hands against the surface of the door and lets himself be kissed, lets Frank reach out for his crotch again. The blue sheet ruffles noisily but falls to the ground soon and, when Frank's hand pulls his briefs further down, Gerard emits a moan that could have been embarrassing in any other situation. For now, though, Frank pulls back from the kiss and smirks at him, saying, "I wish I had time on my hands right now, but—"
Gerard doesn't let him finish. It's not a matter of time right now. Frank is here, with his lips slightly spread open and his hand on Gerard's dick, stroking it and picking up his pace, so Gerard doesn't care about anything else but feeling. He focuses on that as he leans forward and collects Frank's mouth again.
It's not too long before he's squirming, though. Frank is jerking him off rather quickly, kissing him intensely too and grabbing his hair with the other hand, so it's impossible to last too long. Frank's hand feels rough but it's skilled enough to make Gerard gasp into his mouth and tilt his head back with a faint moan escaping him. He hasn't done any of this in a long time, but he's more than glad that he had an opportunity to wait for this moment. Years of building up sexual tension turns out to be really fucking great when it's Frank jerking him off.
Gerard feels the goosebumps stir across his neck and he opens his eyes, finding Frank's obscene mouth ajar and his intense eyes scrutinizing Gerard's again. It's all he can take. Gerard closes his eyes again and shakes against the door, his orgasm hitting just perfectly. His balls pull up from the inside and then he's spent, panting and hanging off of the arm Frank has around his neck. It's perfect.
"Fuck, that was—" There are no words to actually describe it; his mind is simply too dizzy with the aftershocks as Frank milks him thoroughly. Gerard shows Frank what he means through a new kiss, grabbing his jaw with one hand and sliding the other one down Frank's left side. Soon he cups Frank's crotch, feeling it hard as a rock and twitching crazily, and it doesn't take him too much pressure to feel the actual release of Frank's stiffness. It's gone too fast, actually, but Gerard is not one to judge that.
He lets Frank ride it out slowly, though, cupping him better, feeling his balls beneath the thin fabric of his blue uniform. Gerard breaks the kiss and leans closer to Frank's neck, but first he pulls the collar of his scrubs to the side. He sees something that he certainly didn't expect; ink. "You have a tattoo."
"I have so much more than just a tattoo," Frank says within a groan, tilting his head back with a sigh but grabbing Gerard's hand and pulling it away from his crotch. With another brief peck to Gerard's lips, Frank looks at him and says, "We should go. It won't be long before Dr. Owens comes looking for you."
"Oh, okay." It's not like Gerard had forgotten about why he came to the hospital in the first place, but he was actually enjoying this moment. Obviously. He just steals one last kiss from Frank and adjusts his underwear, but before he gets to lean down to get the blue sheet that had fallen to the floor before, Frank grabs his wrist and keeps him standing.
"There's something I should probably tell you, Gerard," Frank says with some sort of an awkward smile on his face. Gerard's eyes widen because he certainly didn't expect any of this after mutual handjobs, but he waits for what Frank might have to say. "Well, I actually didn't need to— I mean, I could have waited to prep you. It could be done in the catheterization room? Right before the procedure. And I didn't have to shave so much, either. A small square would have been enough, but I—"
"Excuse me?" Gerard is slightly confused as to what Frank means. "Did you do this on purpose?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I fooled you, but well…" Frank chuckles. "It worked?"
Gerard is slightly shocked about this revelation, but he can't really lie about it. He's flattered that Frank wanted to kiss him so badly that he made up an excuse to get so personal with Gerard's crotch. This is very unlikely and Gerard knows it, knows they're kind of doing this backwards, but he doesn't really mind. Even his heartbeat is calmer now, so it's definitely a good thing.
He dismisses the whole situation by shaking his head, staring at the grin on Frank's face. It's very pretty and heart-warming enough to melt Gerard all over again, so he finally dares to make a move forward. "You'll have to explain that to me some other time. Preferably outside the hospital."
"Over coffee?" Frank suggests, his grin only growing wider. Gerard lets the gleam of it light up his day and his soul. No matter how awkward this was, or the sequence of their actions, but it was definitely worth it. This perfect grin at the end is everything Gerard has been yearning for. And apparently, Frank has too.
"Maybe over dinner."