Work Text:
A long, long time ago
In the land of Middle-Earth
Sauron tried to rule the land
With his magic rings of power,
He sat alone, in his dark tower,
And saw his final victory was at hand
But The Last Alliance made him shiver,
It pushed him back across the river
He retreated to The Black Gate
And under siege he had to wait.
Then Isuldur, Elendil's son,
Took on Sauron, and somehow won,
But the war, continued on,
Because he kept The Ring.
(chorus)
My, My, Mr Frodo and I
Went to Rivendell and Moria and saw Gandalf die
So off we went to Mordor, the land where the shadows lie
saying "This is how we beat the Lidless Eye"
"This is how we beat the Lidless Eye"
Did you know this golden ring,
Is the one of which the harpers sing?
It belongs to The Dark Lord, they say.
When Gandalf came to tell us this,
We knew that something was amiss,
And so we both went on our way.
We went across the Barrow Downs,
Met up with Strider (who was all frowns!)
Said he was a ranger,
And would save us from the danger!
But The Nazgul came forth to maraud
So Frodo stabbed one with a sword,
Then Elrond drowned them at the Fjord,
And so we saved The Ring
(chorus)
Elrond's Council formed a plan
That we would do the best we can
To take the ring to be destroyed!
We'd take it South, although I fear,
The man from Gondor - Boromir
Didn't like this plan and it seemed he was annoyed.
So we set out with walkers nine,
And at the start it all went fine,
But it quickly went down hill,
As the snow fell with ill will
Then we were chased by packs of wolves,
Attacked by monsters from the pool
And Gandalf fell, yelling "FLY YOU FOOLS!"
"You have to save The Ring"
(chorus)
We passed through Lothlorien
And travelled down to Parth Galen
Which is when that Gondor bloke
Tried to take the ring, you know,
So off to Mordor we did go,
While the rest were jumped by Orcish folk.
Boromir was killed to death,
But he said, with his last breath,
"The orcs they took the hobbits,
The Ring, I tried to rob it"
So off went Elf and Dwarf and Man
To save them from the Orcish plan
To take them back to Saruman,
To learn about The Ring
(chorus)
We set off for the shadow land,
And Gollum came to lend a hand,
But I really didn't want him near.
We got caught in Ithilian
To a waterfall we were taken,
And there we met with Faramir.
He let us go on with our quest
And he went off to save The West
But Shelob kicked our ass
When we got caught in her pass
For a while I thought Frodo was dead,
But it turns out he was caught instead,
I screwed up bad, it as to be said,
For now I bear The Ring.
(chorus)
We made it out to Oradriun,
And then (with Gollumn) unmade the ring,
And Sauron's empire was destroyed
So Arwen came to wed Strider
For too long he'd been denied her
But now they were both over-joyed.
So now we all had to head home
(While Saruman was forced to roam)
Me and Rose did marry,
But Frodo couldn't tarry
For though he'd made the realm secure
He couldn't live there any more
So he took the ship to Valinor
With those who bore the rings
And we were singing...
My, My That's how the third age went by
The rings of power, they have faded, for their time it was nigh
The bearers crossed the sea to where the people don't die
Saying "That is how we beat The Lidless Eye"