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Hey Upper East Siders-- Gossip Girl here. We've got the latest dish on everything you're dying to know about Starfleet Prep's finest-- and boy, do we have a doozy for you this week.
With term finals coming up and the Academy entrance exam looming large on everyone's horizons, it's only natural that a little spring fever might be stirring things up at school. But just causing a stir isn't good enough for everybody's favorite bad boy J, who rumor has it was caught in flagrante last week with a member of the school faculty. This doesn't reflect well on J's good buddy, class president and star student S, who's on record breaking his usual stoic silence in a big way-- and when I say big, dear readers, you know I mean big. We're talking public fight in the quad big, the kind of brawl that started with words and proceeded to fists-- J and S parted ways not speaking, with both faces and egos bruised. Everyone knows no good deed goes unpunished, S-- guess that's what you get for trying to keep a player out of the game.
And that's not all that's got us crying "bewitched, bothered and bewildered". Usually J's worst fan, N is keeping her mouth mysteriously shut on the subject of her boyfriend's erstwhile wingman. This valedictorian contender's got her eyes on the prize and her nose in the books-- only the books, much to the chagrin of class planner H, who's trying to send the end-of-year ball off in style sans his usual Girl Friday taking care of the details. H himself says he and the gorgeous G have it under wraps, and we're inclined to believe him-- no one can deny G has the Midas touch, especially when it comes to having a good time, so we know H is in good hands. We're wondering just how well G's got him in hand-- is this a bromance brewing, or is H boldly going where everyone's been before? Either way, you won't find one of this fierce duo without the other these days, which has inquiring minds wanting to know all the dirty details.
Speaking of details, one place we're not getting them is serial miscreant M, who's been handed a record six disciplinary citations since the month began. No one seems to know what for, and the boy himself is locked up tighter than Fort Knox. We'll love you no matter what, M, but if it's true you've been conducting illegal experiments under the Physics department's nose, we'll love you just a little bit more. Speaking of confirming rumors, we've got news from P, who's finally admitted something we've been speculating about for months. No, not that, dear readers-- so far any news on P's love life is so far on the DL it's practically swimming with the fishes-- but something only this scrumptious Soviet mastermind could pull off. P admitted to a reliable source yesterday that he has in fact gotten permission to take the Academy entrance exam an entire year early. We thought you were hot before, P, but if you pull this off you'll be-- literally-- in a class by yourself.
And where's Lonely Boy throughout all of this May Madness? Why, in the library of course, like every good scholarship student should be. We hear he's got his heart set on the top honors, putting him and N on track for a competition we're already laying bets on. Only one of you can win, kids; so why the suspiciously sudden truce? Spotted sharing a table in the xenobiology section of the library last weekend, N and LB were looking more like the best of friends than the best of frenemies-- and especially considering LB is BFF with the detested J, we're stumped. Should we be looking for LB's unconscious body stashed in one of the deserted stacks-- or for a DND sign on the door of the xenolinguistics listening room? Only time-- and little old me, of course-- will tell.
Spring has sprung, Upper East Siders, and scandals are in bloom. There's only one place you'll find the fresh home-grown gossip you've been craving-- so until next time-- you know you love me.
xoxo,
Gossip Girl