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Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle

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The fourth entry in Tess Theramin's  Heart of Ten  series opens with the revelation that the events of the third entry, New York Times-bestseller  A Reminiscence of Dr. Raheli Doomlocke,  were a dream. It is my hope that in reporting this I do not injure the sensibilities of those personally offended by "spoilers," but I think that it needs to be gotten out of the way. Someone dreamed that last book. That is a thing that happened. Or, didn't happen, I guess.

The central question which  The Dream Quest of a Known Quantity  would like to ask is whose dream it was, and why some of the events of its predecessor, but not all, appear to be having an emotional effect on some, but not all, of the protagonists. The question that it actually asks is, "Why did Tess Theramin think that this was a good idea?"

(Click to read the rest of the review...)

Edit: This post's Comments are now moderated Please Be patient as I Approve Them.

Edit 2: Please Re Read My  Commenting Policy  If You Do Not Understand Why Your Comments Are Not Being Approved And Please Understand That My Policy Does Apply To Everyone

2012-09-06 -- 02:23:17 AM:

genusAmyema: I Am Very Sorry But I Am Not Going To Unscreen Your Comments
GA: I Understand That You Were Upset By My Review And I Regret That
GA: But My Blog Has Always Had A Strict Policy Regarding Both Profanity And Personal Attacks
GA: Ordinarily I Would Already Have Banned You But I Am Making An Exception For Obvious Reasons
templatizedTurgidity: Yeah because you haters get all your hatertraffic when writers respond IN PERSON.
TT: And you HAVE YET to wring this one dry, right?
TT: So you're wanting to stretch my responses out over a few more days to drum up more clicks for you?
TT: Tess Theramin is thinking that she is ON TO YOu. That is what she was thinking just now. ;(
GA: I Have Never Seen That Particular Emoticon Before And I May Need Some Time To Sort Out Its Full Implications
GA: But No I Am Making An Exception To My Policy Because The Few Comments You Have Made Here In The Past
GA: Have Been Productive And Consistent In Tone And Your Behavior Right Now Is Very Out Of Character
GA: Frankly I Can See Why Some Are Accusing Me Of Fabricating Your Initial Comment
GA: Which Was Fortunately The Only One That Was Even Briefly Publicly Visible
TT: My username has turgid in it.
TT: What were you expecting of a person who'd do such an unconscionable thing, HATER???
TT: Also, why do you type like that?
GA: I Had Been Wondering About The Username For A While But Had Attributed It To Some Unfathomable Flight Of Irony
GA: Which I Thought I Was Perhaps Psychologically Ill Equipped To Follow
GA: But Now I Am Wondering If You May Have Selected It Due To The Imbibing Of A Soporific Substance
TT: What?
GA: I Mean You Are Drunk Right Now Arent You
TT: Oh so you are very sure about my motivations about the book but you need INDEPENDENT CONFIRMATION OF THe drinking?
GA: No Not Really
GA: I Have Some Small Experience Of These Things And Am Pretty Sure Of It
TT: Oh really wow. You must be a TRUE WOman of the world.
GA: No Not In Any Real Sense
GA: At All
GA: But By The Same Token I Am Pretty Sure That You Will Regret Having Made These Comments By Tomorrow Afternoon
GA: You Really Made Some Very Profane Remarks And Your Books Are YA As You Know
GA: Marketed To Teenagers
TT: Oh you know me so well person who writes HATER STUFF about my AWESOME books. ;(
GA: Are You Using That Word Ironically
GA: Hater I Mean
GA: Well And Awesome Now Too I Guess
GA: Im Asking That Seriously Because I Cant Tell
TT: Given that I'm so obviously a troll I don't know why you haven't banned me outright yet.
GA: I Have Never Seen A Picture Of You And I Was Not Aware That You Were A Troll
GA: I Assure You That I Would Never Ban Someone For That
GA: Despite Common Scientific Thinking On The Subject Ive Never Been Entirely Convinced Of The Species Intellectual Inferiority
TT: Oh my god obviously I didn't mean it literally.
TT: Maybe we should switch the words troll and pirate in online nomenclature, it might make more sense.
GA: Excuse Me Then
GA: Im Very Sorry If I Offended You
TT: You did. I am EXTREMELY OFFENDED By that suggestion.
GA: Then I Apologize Again
GA: Regardless If You Continue To Attempt To Post Comments Containing Obscene Terms I Will Probably Feel Obligated To Ban You
GA: But What Really Concerns Me Honestly Are The Disparaging Remarks You Made About Your Readers Intelligence
GA: I Was Personally A Little Bit Upset By Them And I Consider Myself Fairly Thick Skinned
GA: I Have Not Really Discussed This On The Blog
GA: But Your Work Has Been Important To Me During A Very Difficult Time In My Life
TT: My work is accurately-described by my username.
TT: It's a joke and the net effect on the world were I to stop writing would be zero.
TT: The attention-starved and sexually-immature adult women who are actually my largest audience them would just find another generic fictional object upon which to erotically fixate.
TT: Pirates, maybe.
TT: Oh, are you done talking finally? Did that one burn?
GA: Well I Am Sorry That You Feel That Way I Guess
GA: But However You Really Feel About The Series I Do Not Want To See It End Prematurely
GA: Because Your Publishers Were Embarrassed By Something You Said On A Fans Blog Late At Night While Drunk
GA: I Mean Thats Probably Objectively The Worst Way To End A Series And I Am Including In That Evaluation Things Which Orson Scott Card Has Done
GA: I Think That You Probably Do Not Want This To Happen Either
GA: If Only Because It Is How You Make Money
GA: So I Guess That I Am Asking You To Turn Off Your Computer And Wait Until You Sober Up
GA: To Post Any Sort Of Response To My Review
GA: If You Still Do Feel That It Merits A Response
GA: Honestly I Do Not Think That It Does
GA: My Blog Is Only A Hobby And I Would Not Have Posted The Review If I Thought That You Would Be Upset By It
GA: If You Will Agree To Log Off For The Evening Then I Will Agree To Unscreen Your Comments Tomorrow
GA: If That Is You Still Want Me To Do So Then
GA: You Can Message Me In The Morning If So
GA: This Is A Violation Of My Usual Policy But Because You Are The One Asking I Will Do It
GA: Are You Still There
TT: I left to get something to drink.
TT: Okay, setting up auto-pester to go out at 7:00 AM WHILE I SLEEP IN HUNGOVER BECAUSE I AM TOTES WASTED LOL.
GA: All Right Then
GA: I Will Look Forward To Hearing From You
GA: Good Night Ms Theramin
genusAmyema [GA] ceased trolling templatizedTurgidity [TT]
TT: ...Why that particular logout message?
templatizedTurgidity [TT] ceased pestering genusAmyema [GA]

templatizedTurgidity [TT] began pestering genusAmyema [GA] at 2012-09-06 -- 07:00:00
TT: Immediately unscreen my incisive and definitively non-alcohol-fueled remarks regarding your intelligence and that of all of my other readers.
templatizedTurgidity [TT] ceased pestering genusAmyema [GA]

templatizedTurgidity [TT] began pestering genusAmyema [GA] at 2012-09-06 -- 13:27:54
TT: I changed my mind. Please do not unscreen those comments.
TT: I have reread them and have decided that I no longer consider them entirely philosophically and intellectually unassailable.
templatizedTurgidity [TT] ceased pestering genusAmyema [GA]

templatizedTurgidity [TT] began pestering genusAmyema [GA] at 2012-09-10-- 22:19:31
TT: I just wanted to thank you for not unscreening my comments, and to apologize again for the things I said to you. You would be within your rights to publish both my comments to your blog, and that ill-advised chatlog, simply to get more page hits, from which I assume you would benefit financially. But you you've chosen not to do so, I suppose for my benefit, and I owe you my gratitude for that.
TT: And I'm now going to log off, to absolve you of the burden of responding to me, as I'm obviously not fit company for someone as patient as you.
templatizedTurgidity [TT] ceased pestering genusAmyema [GA]

templatizedTurgidity [TT] began pestering genusAmyema [GA] at 2012-10-05 -- 20:51:44
TT: I looked at your blog today and noticed that you haven't updated since our conversation a month ago.
TT: You ordinarily update eight to nine times each week, and have been doing so for about a year now, aside from a few brief interruptions, so this strikes me as notable.
TT: While I can't rule out the possibility that it may be some form of passive-aggressive revenge against me, the goal being to keep your negative review at the top of the page as long as possible,
TT: I guess I'm concerned that I might really have upset you with what I said.
TT: And though I still consider your review fundamentally incorrect, I have reread it several times now and have to acknowledge that by its own (flawed) premises, it's really very difficult to disagree with.
TT: More importantly, the remarks I made to you and about you personally, as you politely refrained from pointing out, are really more to do with my own self-evaluation than they are a reflection of your own character. About which, given your personal reticence on both your blog and in your other online interactions, I obviously know nothing.
TT: Which is to say that I would like to apologize, again.
TT: If it will induce you to begin updating again, and thus relieve me of the immense burden of guilt which I now carry for depriving the world of a high-quality vampire book review blog, then upon being provided with your mailing address I will send to you a bouquet, fruit basket, or selection of novelty meats, depending upon your personal preference.
TT: I would craft you something out of a personal family heirloom but I'm concerned that such a gesture might come off as insincere in nature, possibly even satirical.
TT: Well, you're of course under no obligation to respond to me, but I genuinely hope that you return to blogging sometime soon. I've found your reviews of other people's work very edifying.
templatizedTurgidity [TT] ceased pestering genusAmyema [GA]

genusAmyema [GA] began trolling templatizedTurgidity [TT] at 2012-10-19 -- 14:09:32
GA: Well You Sounded Pretty Sincere Until Those Penultimate Two Sentences
GA: But Now I Am Not Really Sure
GA: I Have Lately Become Concerned That I May Have A Neurological Handicap Which Prevents Me From Recognizing And Appreciating Sarcasm
GA: As Well As Possibly A Number Of Other Forms Of Communication
GA: So You Are Going To Have To Tell Me Whether You Were Being Serious
GA: My Regrets For Responding Two Weeks Late By The Way
templatizedTurgidity [TT] began pestering genusAmyema [GA] at 2012-10-19 -- 19:43:06
TT: No, I think it's probably all on me.
TT: My apologies. I was being sincere to the best of my admittedly limited ability.
GA: Your Apologies Are Accepted But Unnecessary
GA: My Delinquency Was Not Directly Due To Your Remarks
GA: Personal Circumstances Intervened To Prevent Me From Accessing The Internet
TT: Not "directly" due?
TT: Were my screened comments, then, seen to upset a butterfly, which then affected nearby weather systems, which were eventually to knock out your phone lines, perhaps?
GA: No It Is Too Cold For Butterflies Unfortunately
GA: The Problem Had No Bearing On Our Conversation
GA: I Lost My Job The Next Day
GA: Which Has Prevented Me From Making Updates Given That The Blackberry Which I Used To Do So Was My Work Device And I Was Forced To Return It
GA: In Order To Submit Job Applications I Am Presently Making Use Of A Library Computer
GA: On Which I Saw That You Had Contacted Me
TT: You type your posts on a phone?
TT: Your median wordcount is around 1,000, isn't it?
TT: Color me impressed. Except for the Blackberry part, I guess, but I assume you didn't make that decision.
GA: Yes Well It Is What I Am Accustomed To
GA: It Is My Preference To Write Outdoors In The Sunlight
GA: Perverse As I Suppose That May Seem
TT: I'm not sure I'd call that perverse. It's really almost alarmingly well-adjusted.
TT: Unless you've decided to go off-message and take up sarcasm as a method of communication.
GA: No As I Have Said I Don't Seem To Have Any Talent For That
TT: Anyway, do you have any inclination to take me up on my offer?
GA: If You Mean Your Offer Of Vegetable Or Animal Matter
GA: That Is Thoughtful And The Gesture Is Appreciated
GA: But I Would Prefer Not To Give Out My Home Address
TT: I understand. For all you know, I might show up to drunkenly troll you in real life.
GA: No Im Not Worried About That
GA: But Ive Had Some Problems With You Could Say
GA: Stalkers I Guess
GA: And My Friend Who Helped Me With That Made Me Promise That I Would Not Give Out My Location Anymore At All
GA: I Trust His Judgment More Than My Own At Least On Matters Of This Sort
TT: I see. I'm sorry about that, then. Is this also the reason for your silence regarding your personal life on your blog and elsewhere?
TT: I guess a preference for privacy isn't unfathomable, but it's a little unusual to take it to the extremes that you do.
TT: As I recall you've in the past refused even to give your gender.
TT: Though it seems obvious given that you blog about YA novels about vampires, an activity which is more strongly gendered than is giving birth.
GA: I Prefer To Keep My Real Life Entirely Separate From My Online Life
GA: And I Think That That Is Not Really Very Unusual
GA: And Dont Really Appreciate Being Subtly Grilled About It Given That I Think I Have Made My Preference Plain
GA: And Am Obviously Not Having A Pleasant Day
TT: I'm sorry. That's not really what I was trying to do.
GA: Yes It Was But Never Mind
GA: None Of It Really Matters At This Point
GA: I Dont Think I Will Be Updating My Blog Again
GA: As You Said It Was A Little Pathetic
GA: And I Should Really Be Focusing My Energy On Finding A Job And Managing To Keep It This Time
GA: And Not Losing My Temper And Biting Someone Like A Stupid Wiggler
TT: Wait. You bit someone?
TT: Bit someone like a what?
GA: Bit Someones Head Off
GA: In Anger
GA: Its
GA: A Figure Of Goddamn Speech
TT: What about the wiggler part?
TT: Are wigglers something like the platonic ideal of an angry thing?
TT: I guess that's just not what comes to mind when I try to picture what such a thing would look like.
TT: And why were you angry?
GA: Look Never Mind
GA: I Dont Really Want To Discuss This
GA: Particularly With You
TT: I'm going to make a wild deduction here.
TT: You were understandably upset because I -
TT: - an absurd drunk whose regrettable literary output you have unfathomably chosen to admire -
TT: - said some very unfair and hurtful things to you for no good reason.
TT: You then went in to work the next morning, perhaps on insufficient sleep, and had a confrontation with your boss, who acted as a sort of a proxy for me.
TT: It's now been sixty seconds since I submitted that text, and you type fairly quickly, so I will assume that I am correct, and that I am, in fact, indirectly responsible for the loss of your job.
TT: As you in fact earlier inferred and then hastily denied.
GA: That Is Mostly Accurate Yes
GA: This I Guess Is The Devastating Psychological Insight Which One Can Expect
GA: Of The Creative Force Behind The Subtle And Moderately Paced Romance
GA: Of Lady Noor De Traitorio Von Darkangel And The Chevaliere Malika Darknight
TT: Okay, these are definitely insincere statements.
TT: Don't sell yourself short, you've got a real talent for this.
TT: So. How much do I owe you?
GA: What
GA: No
TT: And would you prefer to be reimbursed by Paypal, check, direct deposit, or some other medium?
TT: Bitcoins, perchance?
GA: While I Am Sure That You Can Afford To Do This
GA: And I Do Not Need You To Reassure Me Of That
GA: The Answer Remains No
GA: I Do Not Want Your Money
GA: I Do Not Wish To Be The Mechanism By Which You Pay Off Your Guilt
GA: For Something That You Probably Would Have Done To Anyone
GA: Who Presented Herself As A Convenient Target For Your Unfocused Drunken Ire On That Specific Night
TT: This, I guess, is the devastating psychological insight which one can expect
TT: of the proprietor of a blog entitled "Reviews Of Young Adult Novels, Mainly Those Prominently Featuring Vampires, And Containing At Least One Love Triangle."
GA: Yes It Is
TT: And it goes on a little after that but I've been exerting myself lately to stop typing once I hit the end of my textbox.
TT: Look, just take my money.
TT: If it makes you feel better, you may employ the rationale that people use when they decline to give change to panhandlers:
TT: "She'd just spend it on booze."
TT: The transaction of taking my money is thus morally and socially identical to the transaction of keeping your change.
GA: I Give Change To Panhandlers
TT: Well, then, I don't see your problem.
GA: That Is Because You Are Being Deliberately Obtuse I Assume
GA: The Ability To Insult Someone While Simultaneously Offering Them Money
GA: Is Neither Unique Nor As Amusing As You Seem To Believe
GA: In Fact It Is Both Common And Terrible
GA: I Dont Want Your Money
GA: If You Want To Apologize Find Me A Job
GA: Appropriate To A Physically Disabled And Disfigured Person With No References
GA: Who Needs To Work From Home
GA: Or In An Otherwise Empty Space With Good Natural Light
GA: But Cannot Work Nights
GA: And Needs To Be Paid In Cash Due To Legal Status
GA: There Are Not Many Jobs Like That By The Way That Is The Point Of This Exhaustive Enumeration
TT: What do you mean by legal status?
GA: I Just Lost The Only Job Like That In This Awful State I Think And It Took Me A Long Time To Find It
TT: Are you an undocumented immigrant? Or wanted for something?
GA: Maybe It Was Too Big A Risk Coming Here To Begin With
GA: But I Could Not See Any Other Choice
GA: Maybe There Arent Really Any Choices Left At All
TT: Do you need a lawyer?
GA: And Yes Rationally I Know That None Of This Is Your Fault But
GA: Youre Not The Person I Needed You To Be
TT: You know, I think it really is my fault that I'm an asshole. Actually, I'm completely sure of that.
GA: But Of Course No One Ever Is
TT: Please calm down. Can't I help?
GA: And I Dont Know What Im Going To Do Now I Just Wish The Sun Would Come Back
GA: Im So Stupid
TT: You're not stupid.
GA: And Im So Scared
GA: And Hungry
GA: I Cant Stay Here Anymore
TT: Wait.
genusAmyema [GA] ceased trolling templatizedTurgidity [TT]
TT: Damn it.