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sugar and spices

Summary:

Jungkook is young and otherworldly and Yoongi feels old and a little stupid, but he guesses the Lolita jokes and the self-doubt are worth it if he gets to wake up every morning to Jungkook's voice.

Continuation of baby blue.

Notes:

I fixed a few mistakes!

This work won't make much sense if you haven't read the first one.

This amazing person (whitestormsky on tumblr) helped me beta-ing this monster and it's currently doing the same with baby blue, and I'm really thankful!

I know practically nothing about how things work in Korea, so I made them like we do here, form Christmas, to college entrance exams. If you have any questions, I'll gladly answer them.

WARNINGS:
the same as the last time
one anxiety attack. It's not very explicit but better safe than sorry.
some smut ;)
Yoongi being dumb bc relationships are complicated and humans are weird (i'm yoongi)
Seokjin being a Mom
Jungkook's dad is a jerk

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

I can feel your knees sinking into the bed

Searching in my dark eyes to break what's been said

 

Yoongi realizes he doesn’t actually know anything about Jungkook one week into Christmas break, when they’re both on the couch, watching some dumb drama on the TV.

The younger is, as usual, laying with his head on Yoongi’s lap, while the older runs his fingers through soft, black strands of hair.

“Are you hungry?” he asks Jungkook, because he suddenly realizes he can’t remember the last time they ate, and even though college has made him able to function with only one meal, he worries for Jungkook.

The boy only grumbles, the soft caresses in his hair making him drowsy.

“I can make you something… like a sandwich.” he offers “A PBJ, if you’re in the mood for something sweet.”

“Thank you, hyung.” the younger murmurs, smiling sleepily at him “But I’m not really hungry. Besides, I’m allergic to peanuts” he says, and he nuzzles his face against Yoongi’s thigh before closing his eyes.

 

“You’re allergic to peanuts?” he asks, a little surprised because wow, he has been in some sort of relationship with Jungkook for three weeks, living with him for more than a month, and known him for almost two years, but he didn’t know anything about allergies of any sort.

“Yeah...” Jungkook sighs, his body relaxing as he falls in a placid slumber.

Yoongi, however, can’t seem to relax. How could he have not known something like that? It could’ve been so dangerous, if Yoongi had fed Jungkook with something that included peanuts.

It’s a little thing, just a detail, but it makes him realize that their relationship is full of little unknown details like that.

He text Jimin.

 

To: Thing 1

did you know Jungkook was allergic to peanuts?

 

From: Thing 1

of course i did! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

why? did you kill him with a matdongsan? (╯•﹏•╰)

 

Yoongi ignores the annoying emoticons Jimin loves to overuse.

 

To: Thing 1

of course I didn’t, brat

 

So, apparently, it wasn’t like Jungkook kept those things as a secret; it was just that Yoongi never asked.

He looks down to the boy sleeping on his lap. Jungkook always looks almost ethereal when he sleeps, all relaxed features and soft skin, and Yoongi thinks he could spend hours looking at him, tracing his profile with careful fingertips.

 

Jungkook really makes him feel stupidly cliché.

 

Now, he thinks about all the things he should know, but doesn’t: does Jungkook prefer coffee or tea? Maybe hot chocolate? Does he like spicy food? Does he prefer to read a book or watch a movie? What kind of music does he like? What does he want to do when he gets older? Does he have any siblings? Why does he have so many problems at home? Is his relationship with the rest of his family as problematic as it is with his dad?

 

It hits him, out of the sudden, that he doesn’t know him.

Sure, he knows Jungkook’s favorite color is baby blue, and that his favorite flavor for everything is strawberry. He knows Jungkook wrinkles his nose when he’s really happy, and that he fights the tears by frowning so hard, it sometimes makes Yoongi think he might get a headache.

He also knows where to touch and where to kiss and what to do to make him feel good. He knows how to make Jungkook sigh and moan. He can tell when Jungkook needs to feel protected and cared for, and he knows how to do it right.

He knows Jungkook’s body like the back of his hand, but everything inside that little head is a mystery. Yoongi doesn’t want that.

 

He doesn’t want Jungkook to be just a warm body and a pair of pretty eyes, because what he feels when he looks at the younger isn’t just lust. He feels like making Jungkook happy is the only thing he needs to be happy as well, and there are other emotions he can’t really put a finger no, but they make his stomach flutter.

Yoongi doesn’t quite know what love looks like yet, but he’s pretty sure it must have dark eyes and bunny teeth.

So he decides to pay more attention, and he’ll ask, because even though Jungkook never tells him important information right away, he doesn’t lie when Yoongi asks him.

 

His first discovery happens two days later, and it’s by accident. Jungkook’s in the shower when Yoongi wakes up from his nap, his terrible sleeping schedule during finals season still fucking him up, and he enters the bathroom to wash his face.

By now, it’s normal for them to share Yoongi’s bathroom, as Jungkook’s is, according to the younger, way too far from hyung’s bed , so Yoongi doesn't even knock when he comes in.

The bathroom is warm and humid from the steam coming from the the shower, and there’s a soft melody Yoongi doesn’t recognize coming out of Jungkook’s phone. So the younger isn’t aware of the his presence.Yoongi is rinsing the soap off his face when he realizes the music isn’t coming just from Jungkook’s phone. The younger is singing as well.

It’s soft and very low, so Yoongi would’ve never heard it from the outside, but in such a small bathroom, the older is close enough to hear the clear, velvety voice. He still doesn’t know what song is it, but he’s more interested in hearing more of Jungkook’s honey-like voice than checking out his iTunes library.

 

Yoongi’s in a haze, his heart beating with a mix of emotions, and when the song ends, he’s torn between asking Jungkook where did he learn to sing like that, and let him sing a little more.

He opts for the second one when the next song is one that he actually recognizes, and he knows that from this day on, he will think about this moment whenever he listens to it.

The beat is slower and Jungkook voice drops so he can match the singer’s, and the mellow and low tone the younger uses makes Yoongi weak in the knees.

He has always liked Jungkook’s voice, from his cute laugh to his breathy moans, but this just takes it all to another level.

 

Yoongi can’t hold himself still anymore, so he just blurts out, “You can sing.”

Obviously, Jungkook startles, his singing stopping immediately as some bottles fall to the floor.

“What the… hyung?” he asks, surprise obvious on his voice “When did you wake up?”

“A few minutes ago.” Yoongi answers, and then repeats, “You can sing.”

“Ah, yeah...” Jungkook says, turning the water off and grabbing his fluffy white towel “I mean, at least I think I don’t suck.” He laughs nervously, and comes out of the shower with dripping wet hair and the towel hanging low on his hips.

He makes for a really distracting image, but Yoongi has more important things on his mind right now.

“You’re really good, Jungkook,” he says, and the younger blushes.

“Thanks, hyung.” He smiles, opening the bathroom’s door “I like to sing”

“So why haven’t you done it before? And why didn’t you tell me you could sing?” Yoongi asks, following the younger out of the bathroom.

“I just... I didn’t want to annoy you or something,” Jungkook answers, shrugging. He grabs his boxers and drops the towel to put them on.

“Why would something like that annoy me, Kookie?” Yoongi asks, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“My dad always used to say that.” He admits “He only enjoys classical music, and you can’t sing that” he says it like it’s some kind of joke, but Yoongi doesn’t find it funny.

“What about your mom?”

“Oh, she likes singing too,” Jungkook says, voice muffled by the fabric of the sweater he’s putting on. “Sometimes we go to a karaoke...Well, we went.” He bites his lips “I don’t think we’ll do that anymore.”

In that moment, Yoongi remembers what the younger was like when he had just met him: a happy boy with pretty clothes and shiny eyes.

That was before his dad came along, and for the very first time, Yoongi thinks about how hard it must’ve been, to have such a bad relationship with your father.

 

Yoongi’s family is at Daegu, but they always talk and his parents were always nothing but good and kind to him.

He can’t imagine a life where he can only be happy when his dad’s not around.

Jungkook’s life has been torn in two: there’s the one where he’s happy, and the one where his family is whole. Yoongi doesn’t think is fair the younger can’t have both.

 

“I love music with lyrics,” he says. “You can sing whenever you want.”

Jungkook looks at him with big, hopeful eyes.

“Really?” he asks.

“Of course.”

“If I sing, would you listen?” he questions, smiling shyly.

“Every single time.” Yoongi assures him, caressing the younger’s cheek with one hand. Looking at Jungkook’s dark eyes, an idea occurs to him.

”Actually, you can help me with this assignment I have. Is due like, January, but these things take time.”

“Help you? As in, me, signing for one of your songs?” Jungkook asks, looks at him with wide, surprised eyes..

“Yeah… If you want, of course,” Yoongi says, a little worried about pushing Jungkook.

The younger, however, just smiles and hugs him.

“Yes! We’re gonna have so much fun!” he says, jumping excitedly.

“Yeah, yeah...Let’s hear what I’ve got and see what you can do, yeah?” the older suggest, and when Jungkook nods, Yoongi grabs his laptop and flops down on the bed, the younger doing the same beside him.

When Jungkook has Yoongi’s headphones on, eyes fixed on the screen and head bobbing slightly to the beat, the older grabs his phone and texts Jimin.

 

To: Thing 1

Do you know if Jungkook can sing?

 

From: Thing 1

????????????????

idk, why

 

To: Thing 1

Just asking

nvm

 

Yoongi locks his phone and smiles, now 100% sure that he’s seeing a side of Jungkook none of their friends have seen before, and he wants to treasuring it like their own little secret.

 

There's a wake of grace, hunting your soreness down

 

It was a really delusional thing to think that the rest of their group wouldn’t find out about them. Yoongi knew it was just a matter of time.

The first ones to find out were Jimin and Taehyung, and it’s because of their lousy sense of timing.

It’s a Friday night, and Yoongi is working on this new song he’s been having some trouble with when somebody knocks on his door.

“Jungkookie, can you get that?” he asks, too focused on his music to open the door.

In retrospect, it was also kinda Jungkook’s fault for opening the door wearing only one of his teeny  tiny shorts, a pair of socks and a sweater.
It’s Jimin’s high pitched voice that gets Yoongi out of his musical trance.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” he asks, glaring at the annoying newcomers with a raised eyebrow.

“First of all,” says Taehyung “ Rude. And we’re here to take Kookie out!” he smiles, big and bright.

“And did Jungkook know that?” he asks again, but the youngest’s face makes it painfully clear that no, he didn’t know, and he probably wasn’t even thinking about going out tonight.

“Well, he does now,” Jimin offers, smiling.

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and looks at Jungkook. The younger locks eyes with him, and they have one of their wordless conversations.

 

One time, when they were out with the whole squad, Yoongi noticed that Jungkook didn’t look very comfortable, so he excused them both and took him home. The next day, when the older asked him about it, Jungkook admitted that, sometimes, he didn’t like big crowds and he felt like socializing was more of a chore than a zest. Since that day, Yoongi’s been paying great attention to Jungkook’s body language so he can recognize the younger’s mood without Jungkook actually telling him.

Tonight is a good night, Yoongi guesses.

 

“Go get dressed,” he says, inclining his head towards the bedroom.

Jungkook nods and disappears.

“Showing up unannounced is very fucking rude, you brats” he says, looking at the other two.

“Sorry if we cockblocked you, hyung” Jimin says, that dumb smile never leaving his lips.

“You didn’t cockblock me, you interrupted my creative fucking time”

“Yeah, Jiminnie, does Yoongi-hyung look like he’s about to get laid?” Taehyung asks, and okay, Yoongi doesn’t look exactly seductive in his black hoodie and plaid boxers, but he thinks he looks just fine, thank you very much.

The older is about to tell them that, when Taehyung opens his big mouth once again and says: “Obviously, he already got laid...pretty recently, if all those hickeys on Kookie’s neck are anything to go by”

“Yeah, and what about the ones on his thighs? Kinky” Jimin adds and oh god , Yoongi really wants to kill these kids.

Yoongi doesn’t dignify that with a response. Instead, he turns around and goes back to his music zone.

 

At some point, Jungkook taps him on the shoulder to tell him they’re leaving, and says he’ll text when he’s on his way back. They leave, and Yoongi takes five minutes to assimilate and accept the fact that he might as well make a long ass proclamation on Facebook announcing his relationship with Jungkook because now Jimin and Taehyung know about it, and if they know Hoseok will know, and if Hoseok knows then the rest of the universe knows because damn , he’s such a gossip whore.

Yoongi sighs. It’s not like he’s ashamed of Jungkook (how could he be?), but he wasn’t expecting it to happen like that.

He’s just… a little worried about how the others will react.

 

Somebody knocks on his door the next Wednesday, while Jungkook is at the ice cream shop, and Yoongi can’t say it surprises him that much when he opens the door a Seokjin greets him with a “You’re fuking a kid”.

Yoongi raises a brow, unimpressed eyes staring at the other man, and says “Well, hello to you too,” sarcasm painfully obvious.

Seokjin walks in and Yoongi closes the door. Then, he follows the older into his own small living room.

“Next time you’re thinking about making me sound like a pedophile I would like a heads up,” he comments, sitting on the couch next to Seokjin.

“Do you think this is a joke, Yoongi?” the other asks, his puffy lips tight in a straight line.

“He’s eighteen” Yoongi says.

Barely. ” Seokjin replies “Or don’t you remember the fact that his birthday was just three months ago ?”

“I do, okay?” Yoongi snaps “Of course I fucking remember.” he runs a hand through his hair.

“I want to know what you were thinking” Seokjin says, and he sounds a little less pissed. A little more like himself.

“I...” Yoongi starts, and for the first time he can’t seem to find the words. He frowns and takes a deep breath, his brain going over every single word he’s ever known.

After what feels like years, he says “I adore him, Seokjin.” Because nothing sounds more appropriate than that. “I really do ”.

Seokjin sighs.

 

“You’re not stupid, Yoongi,” he says “I’m sure you know how difficult it is to have a relationship with somebody so young.” He leans closer to Yoongi “We were both eighteen once, and it’s not easy.”

“I know,” Yoongi agrees, because he remembers “I know is not easy, and I know it’s even kinda fucked up, but I’m really trying.” He looks Seokjin in the eyes “I want to make him feel safe and happy”.

“I’ve known you for almost five years and I know you’re the one that makes the most reasonable decisions in the group,” Seokjin says “but I want to make sure that you really understand that being with Jungkook doesn’t only mean you have a lover. It means that you have to take care of him, because we both know how hard his life has been and that he’s just learning how to do that by himself... and it also means that you basically have to deal with the all the problems of being eighteen all over again, because you’ve always been so important to Jungkook, Yoongi, and everything that happens to him will affect you, even more than before.”

 

The older puts a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder “He’s a responsibility, Yoongi.”

“You’re making it sound like I just adopted a puppy.”

“I’m making it sound like you’re sleeping with a boy who doesn’t even know what he wants to do with his life” Seokjin says.

“And he has the right,” Yoongi says. “He has time to figure out what he wants to do, and I’m not gonna leave him just because he hasn’t decided yet. I’m going to help him.” he assures the older, then continues: “Do you think I didn’t already know everything you just told me? Do you think I haven’t been thinking about it everyday? I’m the one who wakes up next to an eighteen years old kid with a dysfunctional family, and I’m the one who feels this way towards him,” he says, knowing that he’s having a rant but feeling he’s too frustrated to stop it. “I didn’t choose this, but it happened and now things are the way they are. Don’t you think I’ve had more than enough time to make up my mind?” Yoongi exhales heavily “I wanna be with him, Seokjin, and I’m going to, as long as he wants me.”

 

Seokjin fidgets, hesitating over his next words. “I know he has the right to be confused, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to say...You’ll be here as long as he wants you, but then what, Yoongi?” he asks “What would you do if he wakes up one morning and decides he just doesn’t want you anymore? Could you really blame him?”

Yoongi knows Seokjin is just trying to make sure they’re not running blindly against a wall. He knows the older loves Jungkook as much as any of the others, and he can’t help but feel like protecting him at all cost, but Yoongi feels the same way , and it anguishes him that Seokjin doesn’t seem to get it.

“I couldn’t. But I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t regret it” Yoongi answers “Jungkook deserves something better than a father who wants him to be something that he’s not and a life of doing what he doesn’t love to make others happy.”

“We’re all here to protect him and make him feel good,” Seokjin reminds him “Wouldn’t it be easier without adding a relationship to the equation?”

 

Yoongi sighs, “Did you know Jungkook can sing?” he asks, and Seokjin looks a little taken aback. “He can. And I mean it, he fucking can sing, hyung...He loves music and dance and he has a natural talent for it. He wants to study something that makes him happy but he hasn’t even thought about studying arts because nobody has ever told him it was an option he could actually consider,” he runs a hand through his hair. “Jungkook works hard as fuck to make others happy, and that includes us. He does things we want him to do even though he’s feeling anxious about them, just so all of us can have a good time. He suffers when he doesn’t understand something but never asks because he thinks he’s being a bother.”

At this point, Seokjin is looking at him with wide eyes.

“I didn’t...” he starts.

“I know you didn’t know,” Yoongi cuts him “Jungkook never talks about himself. But he tells me , hyung. He tells me about his mom and he sings to me and he trusts me and knows I wouldn’t let Jimin and Taehyung drag him to a club when he’s not feeling like it, even though he would never say it out loud. He makes me happy and I make him feel safe, and the fact that I get to kiss him is just a bonus. I don’t know if things would be easier without this thing we have, but I don’t wanna find out.”

 

He stares at Seokjin for a long moment, the older holding his gaze without any particular expression on his pretty face.

Then, Seokjin sighs.

“You’ve always had a weak spot for lost souls and dreamless people,” Seokjin says “And Jungkook obviously has a lot of emotional baggage and a heavy heart. He’s not strong enough to hold himself without somebody else’s help. It makes me happy you get to help him so much, Yoongi, it really does, but this kind of balance is so committed.... Just think about it, please . Just a little bit more, with a clearer mind.” Seokjin exhales slowly, eyes closed, and he sounds like giving up. “I’m not actually okay with this,” he claims “but you can make your own decisions, and I really hope you know what you’re doing.”

He stands up “I just don’t want you to regret anything because you went in head first,” he says, and there’s a worried gleam on his eyes.

“And Yoongi,” Seokjin calls when he’s already at the door, “remember that you’re not allowed to hurt him” he says, his voice lowering, and Yoong recognizes the subtle tone of a warning “That’s not an option.”

When the older leaves, Yoongi feels physically drained, like he just ran a marathon, and lies in his bed until Jungkook comes back. Then, he practically drags the younger down and kisses him, lips pressed softly but urgently, his hands touching Jungkook’s soft hair and cupping his cheeks to pull him closer.

Jungkook, sweet, little Jungkook, complies.

He doesn’t ask what’s got into Yoongi, he doesn’t grab Yoongi’s hands to stop him, just lets him kiss and touch and grab. He gasps and sighs when Yoongi bites his lower lip gently, and he shudders when a smooth tongue sneaks into his mouth, the feeling warm and welcomed.

Yoongi feels like drowning in Jungkook; Jungkook’s touch, Jungkook’s voice, Jungkook’s scent, Jungkook’s taste…

And Jungkook allows him to.

 

Hoseok and Namjoon are a different story. After they find out, the older spends way too much time making inappropriate jokes that only make Jimin and Taehyung laugh and Jungkook blush prettily. Meanwhile, Namjoon just looks at Yoongi for a long second, his face doing that thing it does when he’s about to get all philosophical, and Seokjin stops him before he starts rambling about what is age, really? and in old times, people used to get married when they were only fourteen.

So the whole squad officially knows they’re together, and the only real change is that now Yoongi can hold Jungkook’s hand on top of the table instead of under it. Yoongi’s not really into PDA, and Jungkook tends to get a little nervous when too many people stare, so they work just fine.

The only thing is, the evil seed of doubt starts to grow and take root on Yoongi’s head.

It’s not like he suddenly doesn’t want Jungkook anymore (he honestly thinks that’s not even a possibility at this point). They get along so well, Jungkook is opening up a little more and Yoongi feels so fucking happy, really, but sometimes he can’t help but wonder if all of this is a good idea.

 

He notices the way girls look at the younger when they go out, and how they giggle and murmur things to each other. He also sees the way other dudes stare, and it makes him hold the younger’s hand tighter, pull him closer. He catches people’s attention, and Yoongi gets it. He really does.

Jungkook is so pretty, so nice, and so hardworking, this soft sense of warmth always surrounding him.

He’s also so young.

It’s not like Yoongi’s fifty, but he’s done so many things, and he’s about to graduate and is already doing an internship in this music studio and his future is so close and clear. It’s the complete opposite to when he was eighteen and confused.

He’s almost done growing up, while Jungkook is only starting.

Sometimes, Yoongi can’t help but wonder if he’s taking something away from Jungkook. If he’s taking advantage of the younger without even meaning to.

 

But then, one day, Yoongi walks into the apartment and finds Jungkook crying, lying on the floor and curled into himself, hands gripping tightly at his own hair and surrounded by books, notebooks and wrinkled paper sheets. His first response is to panic, and he almost rushes forwards to shake the little ball of angst that is Jungkook right now. He stops himself, however, and takes a deep breath before dropping his own backpack and kneeling besides Jungkook.

“Hey, baby” he says, trying to control the shaking in his voice. Jungkook whimpers and curls further into himself. “It’s okay, I’m here. Everything is fine, you can talk to me” he assures, one hand caressing the younger’s back

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you, we can fix it” he keeps talking, and moves one hand to Jungkook’s head, slowly coaxing the younger to let go of his own hair.

“Don’t hurt yourself, honey” he tells him “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you.”

 

It takes him five minutes to convince Jungkook to stop pulling at his hair, and another five for him to calm down enough to speak.

“I-I’m so dumb...” he stutters, gasping for air like he had been drowning “S-so stupid! I’ve spent t-the whole day… the whole day trying t-to understand this but… but I can’t!” he says, tears streaming down his red cheeks.

“It’s okay, Kookie” Yoongi tells him “If you’re struggling, we can ask Namjoon to help you a little, okay? That doesn’t make you dumb”

“I didn’t want to bother Namjoon-hyung...” he murmurs, and Yoongi smiles.

“My baby’s, you’re so cute” he says, kissing Jungkook on the nose “You could never bother to Namjoon. To any of us, understood?” he asks, his voice gentle. The younger doesn’t look very convinced but still nods.

“Let’s clean this up and take you to bed” Yoongi says, and helps Jungkook to pick all the scattered books and notes.

“I’m sorry I made such a mess” the younger apologizes, his voice small “I was so mad at myself.”

“No need to apologize,” Yoongi assures him “we fixed it, now let’s go to bed” he holds Jungkook’s hand while they walk to the room.

Once they’re both lying under the duvet, Yoongi hugs Jungkook tight to his chest and run his fingers down the younger’s back.

“Jungkookie,” he murmurs “whenever you’re feeling like something’s wrong, I want you to call me.”

“But hyung, you don’t have to...”

“Promise me, Kookie,” Yoongi interrupts him “Please, promise me you’ll call if you’re feeling anxious or upset and I’m not around,” he pleads.

He won’t say it out loud, but it scares him. He knows Jungkook beats himself to perfection, and it’s not the first time the younger has had a nervous breakdown, but Yoongi has always been around to soften the blow. To soften the fall.

He pictures an anxious Jungkook, panicking over not being able to understand something (just like today), and Yoongi’s not there to help him. Yoongi’s at the university, or at the studio, and Jungkook has to go through it alone.

The image of Jungkook pulling furiously at his own hair makes him tremble.

“Okay,” says the younger, finally “I promise I’ll call you whenever I’m feeling wrong”

Yoongi sighs and kisses the top of Jungkook’s head.

“Thank you, baby”

“Thank you , hyung”

 

And Yoongi feels relieved that he’s the one next to Jungkook. He’s happy he can help the younger, and he’s so glad he’s there so Jungkook doesn’t have to do it alone.

And are the moments like this, the clear blue sky after the hurricane, that drown the small voice inside Yoongi’s head that keeps telling him he shouldn’t be with Jungkook.

 

Imma dig you up and give you what I took

Pull you up and tuck you in and make you look

 

Even though the Christmas Day is on Thursday and he’s still, technically, on Christmas break, Yoongi’s been working on his internship at Kibum’s studio ‘till past one in the morning every day since Monday, and Jungkook is getting annoyed by it. Yoongi notices it in the way the younger seems to get bratty every morning, rejecting Yoongi’s attempts of affection, and throwing small tantrums and giving him silence treatments every time the older tells him he has to go back to the studio. Yoongi can’t really blame him, and he feels frustrated as well, but he needs to comply to the schedule, and that includes working on Christmas Eve.

“You’re not gonna be here tonight!?” Jungkook whimpers, eyes already glassy “But it’s Christmas!”

“I know, Kookie, but I have to,” Yoongi explains, one hand caressing Jungkook’s cheek softly. He needs to get ready to leave soon, but first he needs to calm the younger down. He can’t just leave him like this.

Jungkook doesn’t even try to stop the tear that rolls down his cheek “Hyung’s gonna leave me alone at Christmas” he sobs “So mean!” He crosses his arms on top of his chest and looks down with a pout.

 

Yoongi sighs and grabs the younger’s face between his hands, making him look up at him. However, Jungkook refuses to meet his gaze.

“Listen to me, Jungkookie” he says, voice soft but firm “I’m not going to leave you alone, okay? I need to go to the studio and you know it, but you’ll go to Seokjin hyung’s Christmas party,” he says “You’re going to have fun, and you’re going to enjoy the night, okay?”

“But I don’t wanna go if you’re not going to be there” Jungkook says, looking up at Yoongi with teary eyes and a frown.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Yoongi presses his forehead against Jungkook’s “I promise I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

Jungkook doesn’t seem very happy or pleased, but nods nevertheless.

Yoongi smiles “That’s my good boy” he says, and presses a soft kiss against Jungkook’s lips.

The younger doesn’t kiss him back, but he doesn’t turn his face away either, so Yoongi just sighs and gets into the bathroom.

 

When he’s at the studio, Yoongi texts Taehyung to ask at what time will he pick Jungkook up, and then he texts Jungkook to tell him he has to be ready by nine. The younger doesn’t answer him, but Yoongi knows he’ll be ready. He puts his phone in the back pocket of his jeans and puts his earphones on, getting ready for the long hours of work ahead of him.

He only finishes half the work he usually does and Jungkook is on his mind all the time, but when it’s three AM his alarm buzzes, he turns everything off and leaves as quickly as he can.

Yoongi checks his phone and sees the message Taehyung sent him at two a.m, obviously way too drunk to drive

 

From: Thing 2

i tookl urlittle angl hopme

 

Yoongi worries for a whole second before he notices that Seokjin also texted him.

 

From: Mom J.

namjoon took jungkook back to your apartment

don’t believe in anything taehyung or jimin say

they stayed here, don’t worry

 

He sighs, relieved, and drives home just at the speed limit.

 

When he gets to the apartment, he opens the door carefully, not wanting to wake Jungkook up. Yoongi takes off his shoes and drops his backpack on the floor, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes as he walks towards the bedroom in an attempt to rub the sleepiness out of his tired eyes.

To his surprise, Jungkook is awake, sitting against the headboard with headphones on and his tablet against his bent legs. Even from the door, though, Yoong can see the way Jungkook’s eyes are heavy with sleep, and his heart skips a beat. He’s waiting for me Yoongi thinks.

He walks toward the bed, and the younger only realizes Yoongi’s there when the older is already taking his tablet away.

“Hey, baby” Yoongi greets him, smiling softly “What are you doing up so late?”

Jungkook yawns “I was waiting for hyung” he says, voice thick with sleep, and Yoongi’s chest aches a little.

“Thanks, Kookie” the older brushes the hairs that fall on Jungkook’s face away “I’m sorry it took me so long. Did you have fun?

“Yeah, Seokjin-hyung made the best dinner ever” Jungkook smiles.

“I’m glad you had a good time...Do you wanna go sleep now?”

 

Contrary to what Yoongi expects, Jungkook shakes his head and straightens up.

“I wanted to give you a surprise, hyung” he smiles, eyes closing for a second, and then he removes the black blanket that covers more than half of his body.

Yoongi takes a moment to admire the sight in front of him: white knee-high socks covering soft skin, pale pink short shorts that show off Jungkook’s silky thighs, and is that my shirt, holy shit. It’s something so simple, no tight clothes or black lace, but Jungkook looks so good like this, with flushed cheeks and a sleepy smile.

“You look so pretty, baby” Yoongi murmurs, still mesmerized by the sight of knee-highs on Jungkook’s long legs.

“Merry Christmas, hyung” Jungkook smiles at him, leaning closer so he can kiss the older.

It’s been so long since the last time Jungkook kissed him willingly that Yoongi can’t help but groan at the feeling of younger’s warm tongue sliding between his lips. He crawls on top of Jungkook, leaning him down without breaking the kiss, and Jungkook just lets Yoongi move him however he wants to.

“You sure you wanna do this? You look tired” Yoongi whispers against Jungkook’s ear, hot air making him shiver.

“Yeah...” he sighs, feeling warm and relaxed “Hyung can take care of me.”

“Of course, baby” Yoongi assures him, soft lips tracing patterns on Jungkook’s neck. The older scrapes his teeth lightly over a fading mark on his neck and Jungkook moves his head to give him more space. Yoongi laughs, low and deep, and it makes the younger tremble.

Yoongi wants to take it slow, but he knows Jungkook is tired, it doesn’t matter if he says he’s fine, so he licks and bites some new marks on the younger’s neck and moves back to his lips, one hand sliding down Jungkook’s chest, teasing one nipple over the oversized shirt.

“My shirt looks so good on you, Kookie” Yoongi whispers against Jungkook’s lips, his right hand moving down, down, down , until it’s pressed between the younger’s legs.

Jungkook gasps “It...it smells like hyung” he whispers, eyes barely open.

Yoongi presses a little harder, feeling the heat of Jungkook’s growing erection through the flimsy fabric of his shorts. The younger whimpers and Yoongi swallows the sound, fucking his tongue into Jungkook’s mouth lazily and deep.

Jungkook’s hands are one in Yoongi’s neck, and the other on Yoongi’s hair, long fingers barely tangled in soft strands. He makes an attempt to rub himself against Yoongi’s hand, but his body is way too tired to move, so he makes a whiny sound and hopes that Yoongi understands.

He always does.

“What is it, baby?” he asks, teasingly, and the hand pressed against Jungkook’s crotch moves up, tracing the whole length of the younger’s cock and pressing a little harder when he reaches the head, “What do you want?”

“Hyung...” Jungkook moans, eyes closed tightly, “Please, fuck me”.

Yoongi grunts, pressing hot kisses down Jungkook’s neck at the same time he slides his right hand inside the pastel pink shorts, giving the younger’s dick a few, teasingly slow pumps that have Jungkook squirming under him.

He presses his thumb in the underside of the head, and then collects the drops of precum that are forming at the tip and smears them down Jungkook’s cock. The younger gasps, his hand on Yoongi’s hair tightening briefly.

“You look so good right now, baby” Yoongi whispers, his right hand leaving Jungkook’s dick to grab the lube and condoms on his nightstand “So pretty with your white socks and my shirt” he puts the things down next to Jungkook so he can caress the younger’s tights, his warm fingers making them tremble “I gonna fuck you without taking those off, you know?” he continues, putting one of the younger’s legs over his shoulder so he can kiss the soft skin of his inner thighs. Jungkook’s legs are thick and firm from dancing, but the skin is silky, and Yoongi loves to bite and leave marks all over them. After leaving a constellation of new red marks, Jungkook squirming under him, Yoongi lowers the younger’s legs and uncaps the bottle of lube with a pop that sounds too loud in the quiet room, then pours some of the clear substance on his fingers, smearing it and warming it up “I wanna remember you all messy and fucked up whenever I put this shirt on” Yoongi sits back on his heels so he can take Jungkook’s shorts off, and the younger’s breath hitches when the temperature of the room (not really cold, but cooler than his burning skin) hits him. After thinking for a second, Yoongi decides to take off his own hoodie and pants, staying only in his underwear. He makes his way between Jungkook’s thighs once more, leaning on top of the younger while he gets his right hand between Jungkook’s butt cheeks.

When the first finger makes contact with his hole, still cool even though Yoongi warmed them, Jungkook shivers and sighs, and the older presses lightly. The younger is so relaxed, body loose with sleep and warmth, that Yoongi has no problem sliding the first finger in, Jungkook gasping at the sudden feeling.

“God, Kookie,” Yoongi groans, moving the finger in and out slowly, “you open up so good for me”

The younger can only nod, his body trembling a little, and Yoongi kisses him once more when he takes the finger out and pushes two back in. Jungkook’s back arches slightly, and he breaks the kiss to let out a shuddering moan.

Yoongi opens him up carefully but without stopping, making scissoring motions and fucking Jungkook with his fingers nice and slow.

The older already has three fingers inside Jungkook when he pushes them deep and crooks them up, Jungkook tensing up immediately as a short cry leaves his mouth.

“Don’t...” he pleads, one hand grabbing Yoongi’s by the wrist to keep it from moving “Not yet...” he pants, half  lidded eyes looking up at the older. Yoongi nods and Jungkook moves his hand away, letting it drop besides his head.

The older keeps preparing Jungkook for a few more moments, grazing close to his prostate but never actually touching it.

Jungkook’s soft whimpers are the only signal Yoongi needs. He withdraws his fingers, the younger shivering at the feeling of emptiness, and puts the condom and a little bit more of lube on his dick before accommodate himself between Jungkook’s spread thighs, legs half covered with the soft white fabric of the socks. Yoongi thinks about how Jungkook’s legs wrapped around his hips will look like, toes curling inside the socks, and the image makes him growl and push inside Jungkook’s hole.

“Yoongi hyu-ah!” the younger gasp, hands tightening one on Yoongi’s hair and the other on the sheets. Yoongi pushes in slow, stopping only to take a deep breath, and when he bottoms out, he moans, low and trembling, against Jungkook’s ear.

“You feel so good, baby” he whispers, “You were made just for me and my cock, weren’t you?” he asks, pulling almost all the way out and pushing back in.

“Oh God, yeah” Jungkook moans, head lolling to the side.

Yoongi fucks him hard, every thrust faster and deeper than the last, just like he knows Jungkook likes, and he enjoys the sweet gasps and high moans the younger can’t hold back.

Yoongi has his forehead pressed against Jungkook’s shoulder, so he moves a little higher and bites down on the younger’s Adam's apple as he works his hips harder. Jungkook’s voice seems to get stuck on his throat, lips parting in a silent moan and eyes closed tightly, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“Yoongi...” he gasp, putting the hand that was gripping the sheets between Yoongi’s body and his “Hyung, is too much...” he presses his hand down on Yoongi’s tummy, pushing slightly, and a lets out a broken cry when the older slows down.

“You  okay?” Yoongi asks him, pressing his forehead against Jungkook’s, and the younger nods, looking at him with still sleepy eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Yeah, just...” he sighs “I’m tired” he explains, and Yoongi  gets it.

Instead of picking up his old pace, the older slows down and starts fucking into Jungkook deep and slow, pulling almost all the way out before pushing until he bottoms out, and then pushing a little more. This new pace, unhurried and intense, has Jungkook gasping and moaning harder than before.

He’s not as vocal as he could be, his brain still half numbed by sleep, but he sounds so much better like this: softs gasps mixing with barely coherent sentences. He puts both hands on Yoongi’s neck, and their foreheads are still pressed together.

There’s a warmth forming on the bottom of Yoongi’s loins, but he isn’t really paying attention. He’s fixed on Jungkook’s expression, the way his eyebrows furrow and his lips part as his back arches out of the bed.

“It’s so good...” the younger moans when Yoongi makes a particular deep thrust “So good...Hyung’s always so good to me” he babbles, his hands caressing Yoongi’s nape.

The older knows there’s something different about all this, he can feel the atmosphere changing.

It’s not by far the first time they fuck (Yoongi still remembers that day, Jungkook sitting on his lap, head thrown back in pleasure as he fucked himself deep and good on Yoongi’s dick), but it’s the first time they do it like this, slow and gentle. Yoongi’s eyes are fixed on Jungkook’s face, ignoring the way his body is asking him to move faster, to do it harder.

“And you’re so good to hyung” he hears himself whispering, voice hoarse “Such a pretty baby. I’m so lucky you’re mine” he adds, and actually kisses Jungkook’s forehead once, before pressing it against his own again.

The younger wraps his legs around Yoongi’s waist, pulling him closer, and his hands fall from the older’s neck to the bed.

“I’m… I’m so...” he tries to say, but Yoongi already knows.

“Shhh, it’s okay” he assures him, moving his left hand to intertwine his fingers with Jungkook’s, pressing both of their hands besides the younger’s head “I’ve got you, baby. C’mon, come for me” he whispers, moving his hips a little bit faster, but keeping the same deep pace.

Jungkook back arches when he comes, breathy moans pouring out of his lips and cum smearing between them, most of it ending in Yoongi’s shirt.

When the younger comes, his body tenses, and Yoongi can feel it around him.

“Fuck...” he moans, picking up a faster pace, chasing his own orgasm.

Jungkook, sleepy and oversensitive, whines.
“Hyung, it hurts” he cries out, hands tightening. When Yoongi brushes past his prostate, the younger gasps, his whole body shuddering and tensing once more, and that’s all Yoongi needs to come.

It hits him hard, almost overwhelming, and when his mind is clear enough to think, he tries to guess for how long they were fucking. It couldn’t have been that long, but Yoongi feels like they were doing it for ages.

He pulls out slowly, but Jungkook still whimpers, all watery eyes and red cheeks. Yoongi ties the condom and stands up to throw it away on the bathroom, and grabs a towel to clean Jungkook.

As much as he likes the image of the younger fucked state with his shirt on, he still undress Jungkook so he can clean him and the younger can sleep more comfortably. He leaves the white socks on, though.

Once he’s done cleaning them both, Yoongi drops the towel on the floor and lays down next to Jungkook, lifting the blanket to cover them. Jungkook curls against his side immediately, and Yoongi holds him close.

“Good night, baby” he murmurs.

“Night, hyung” Jungkook answers, nuzzling his nose against the crook of the older’s neck.

 

Imma smooth your shoulders down and calm what's shook

 

One day, Jungkook comes back with blond hair.

He walks through the door and stands in front of Yoongi, who’s working on some new lyrics, and jumps on his feet excitedly.

“Hyung...” he calls out.

“Wait a sec, Kookie” Yoongi asks him, eyes fixed to the computer while he reads the lyrics he’s been working on for the last three hours one more time “Done” he sighs, lifting his head “What did you want to...Oh” he says, his eyes meeting with soft colors instead of the usual dark hair.

Jungkook smiles at him, cheeks slightly pink and bunny teeth showing. He’s hair is dyed in a warm blond tone, with some streaks of pink that make it look somehow otherworldly.

“How do I look?” the younger asks. Yoongi stares at him, befuddled.

He looks like a fairy.

“You look...” he starts, his brain a little numbed “You look amazing, Jungkookie” he admits, and the younger flushes and laughs one of those cute little squeaky giggles Yoongi likes so much.

“I wanted to start the year with something different” he says, and oh right, they’re only two days away from the new year.

“Well, I think it fits you just right” Yoongi smiles at him.

“I was scared you wouldn’t like it” Jungkook admits, and Yoongi clicks his tongue.

“Don’t be silly, I would like you bald”

Jungkook laughs “Don’t lie to me! You would cry if I shaved my head” he accuses him, and Yoongi chuckles.

“Okay, maybe not bald….But you look very nice right now”

“Thanks, hyung” the younger leans in to give Yoongi a peck on the lips “I’m gonna sleep” he says, walking towards the bedroom.

“Be there in a minute” Yoongi adds, eyes going back to his laptop.

“No you won’t. You’ll probably work for another five hours” Jungkook teases him, and Yoongi wants to fight him but he can’t deny that that’s a very possible prospect.

He just really needs to work on this song.

 

Turns out, Yoongi can’t concentrate when he’s been up since three a.m, his eyes are tired and sore, and the promise of a warm bed and an even warmer Jungkook is waiting for him a few meters away. So he gives up, closes his laptop and goes to the bedroom.

The younger is already sleeping, face down and covered to the neck with the gray duvet.Yoongi yawns and slides under the covers, fighting his tired eyes for a minute so he can contemplate the masterpiece that is Jeon Jungkook with bright, colorful hair.

The light tone gives him a new type of softness, the kind of blurred shimmer you would find in a 60’s film, and Yoongi catches himself thinking for the second time that day that he looks like a fairy, holy shit.

Yoongi likes the way people look when they’re asleep because everybody looks relaxed and genuine, but just like in so many other things, Jungkook’s sleeping face is his favorite. His mouth is slightly open, eyes closed tightly, and sometimes he falls asleep caressing the bridge of his nose with the tip of his fingers when Yoongi isn't there to do it for him, so he just sleeps with a hand covering half of his face and the older finds it endearing.

This time, however, Jungkook doesn’t only looks like he’s made of sugar and spices, but like he belongs in a place like Neverland, instead of Yoongi’s bed

He looks young. So very young, with colorful hair and his hands gripping slightly at the soft duvet.

 

Something bitter and unpleasant spreads inside Yoongi, and he feels as if an invisible hand is squeezing and twisting his stomach. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, the smell of dyed hair mixing with the scent of the room, and tries to ignore the nagging feeling that has been bothering since he had that talk with Seokjin.

He’d thought he was fine . Jungkook’s happy with him and he isn’t doing anything wrong, so there’s not a real reason why he should be feeling this way, and he blames the older for putting all those doubts inside his head (even though he knows they were already there, and Seokjin only reminded them to him).

 

This thoughs are so toxic , Yoongi knows. They’re poisonous and mean and are making him doubt himself and, even worst, Jungkook.

They’ve talked, and they’ve been doing great. So great, actually. Yoongi doesn’t need his own brain to play against him and his happiness.

Jungkook is mature enough.

Yoongi’s been being responsible.

Jungkook’s getting better at communicating every day.

Yoongi’s learning to understand the younger really fast.

Jungkook feels safe with Yoongi.

Yoongi feels useful with Jungkook.

They take care of each other.

Yoongi repeats those thoughts to himself like a mantra, and falls asleep with the image of Jungkook’s sleeping face.

 

He wakes up feeling really tired, but when Jungkook looks at him with big, pleading eyes, and begs him to please, hyung, let's go out!, Yoongi can’t find it in himself to say no.

“This will be our last date of the year” the younger says, smiling brightly.

If you ask him, Yoongi would say this is their first date, but he guesses Jungkook has been counting the mornings they’ve had breakfast at the cute bakery down street as such. Even though Yoongi sees them as a normal thing out of necessity, more than a cute coffee date with his boyfriend.

He wonders what others things that he has been taking for granted have had an emotional value to the younger.

“Let’s go, hyung! The day is so pretty and I really want to buy Tae a gift!” Jungkook voice snaps him out of it, and he nods before taking his sunglasses and his keys.

“Well, let’s find something for that little weirdo. And we can get something to eat” he says, smiling at the younger, and Jungkook jumps excitedly.

“Jimin told me about this bubble tea place in Hongdae he goes with his college friends, can we go?” he asks him, and Yoongi nods.

“Sure.”

Jungkook’s smile widens and he takes the older’s hand, practically dragging him out of the apartment, and Yoongi snorts and smiles at the younger’s enthusiasm. So what if he really hates bubble tea?

 

The place is, as expected, cute as hell. There’s one glass wall, and the others are painted in soft colors and adorable pictures. Luckily, they sell others beverages besides bubble tea, so  Jhungkook orders a honeydew bubble tea, and Yoongi settles for a frapuccino.

They sit in a table, nearby the glass wall, that’s shaped like a strawberry, and Jungkook takes at least fifty pictures before taking a sip of his drink.

“This place is so pretty” he comments, looking at the sky-like painted ceiling in awe.

“It looks like you” Yoongi says, because is true. It looks like a place where Jungkook would belong.

The younger laughs, “Maybe that’s why Jimin told me about this place” he sips one of the bubbles at the bottom of his cup and chews it “The tea is yummy, too. You should try it, hyung” he says, offering his drink to the older.

“No, thanks” Yoongi shakes his head “I don’t really like bubble tea”

Jungkook stares at him with surprise obvious in his face, “You should’ve told me! We could’ve gone to another place”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Do you like it here?” he asks.

“Well, yeah, but you...”

“Then here is where I want to be” he cuts him, ending the discussion by taking a sip of his frapuccino. Jungkook looks at him for a second, and then smiles, the straw sticking out between his lips.

This reminds Yoongi of the first time they met.

 

Once they’re done, Jungkook insists they walk around while he looks for a present to Taehyung, and time flies as they walk in and out from store to store. By the time Yoongi checks his watch, it’s already four, his feet hurt and his stomach is empty.

They only food he’s seen since his frappuccino was Jungkook’s lollipop.

( “I thought you were going to stop eating those...”

“I thought you were going to buy me a paci” )

This is definitely their last stop, he decides.

The store Jungkook dragged him in is full of clothes and accessories of all kinds, and Yoongi is busying himself in the beanies section when Jungkook comes out of nowhere.

“Hey, hyung, look at this!” he calls. Yoongi turns around and finds the younger smiling at him, a flower crown adorning his fairy hair and a pair of heart shaped sunglasses on his face. “Do I look pretty?” he asks, doing a ridiculous pose, and Yoongi laughs.

“You look dumb” he says, but there’s no malice in his voice. Jungkook fakes a pout.

“So mean” he giggles “I think I look divine . In fact, you can call me Dolores” he says, smiling teasley at the older.

“Dolores?”

“Or Dolly. Lolita , if you will” Yoongi stares at him, and Jungkook laughs, loud and pretty.

It’s a joke, obviously, but Yoongi’s been feeling doubtful and it hits him way too close to home. Suddenly, he doesn’t find it so funny.

“Let's go, Jungkook. I’m tired” he says, voice urgent, and moves forward to grab the younger’s hand.

“Wait, hyung” Jungkook says, pulling away “I have to pay for Tae’s present… And I want to buy these” he says, taking of the glasses and the flower crown.

Usually, Yoongi doesn’t care for Jungkook’s choice of clothing, but the idea of Jungkook wearing those sunglasses leave a bitter taste on his tongue.

“Don’t be dumb, those are for children” he says, and the younger frowns at him, confused and a little wounded by the comment.

“Well, I like them, so I’ll buy them. For me ” he spits back, and goes to the register.

When they walk out of the store, the air is tense between them. Jungkook shoots him a strange look before taking his new purchase out of the bag and putting the sunglasses and flower crown on.

“Now you’ll have to walk with me looking like a child” he says, his tone low and sharp.

“It’s not like I haven’t been doing it already” Yoongi replies.

 

It was meant to happen, they fighting at some point.

Yoongi knows having a relationship isn’t always cuddles and sex, and with all the tension that’s been piling up on top of him, he kinda expected it to happen. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him when Jungkook walks straight to his room as soon as they step inside the apartment, and doesn’t come out until he’s leaving to Taehyung’s birthday party.

It’s the first night in way too long that Yoongi sleeps alone.

 

The next morning is just as awkward. Yoongi walks into the kitchen to find Jungkook already finishing his breakfast, and they only exchange a brief ‘good morning’ before the younger stands up and leaves his dishes in the sink, walking out of kitchen as soon as he’s done.

It’s a really shitty time of the year to have a fight, because it’s already 31 and they were supposed to spend the New Year’s Eve together at Seokjin’s. Jungkook was so excited about it, “Because hyung didn’t spend Christmas with me!” he had said.

Now Yoongi doesn’t even knows if Jungkook wants to spend the night with him.

He sighs, his brain feeling heavy even though is so early, and decides to spend the day working on some mixes. Maybe that’s what he needs to clear his mind.

Deep down, Yoongi knows it’s his fault. Jungkook hasn’t done anything to piss him off, and if he’s going to be mad, it should be at himself. But it all has been too much, the small doubts growing every second: what if Jungkook realises he doesn’t like Yoongi in that way? How long will it take him to realise that Yoongi’s a workaholic who puts his music even before himself ? What if, once he starts college, Jungkook finds someone better for him?

Yoongi has never been insecure about those stuff but damn , love really makes you fucking stupid.

He groans, pressing the heel of his hands against his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee and drops himself on the couch, not feeling like mixing anymore. He opts for watching some TV, to let his brain numb itself with cheesy dramas and bad comedy.

It works for a few hours, until his stomach growls and the first thing Yoongi thinks about is if Jungkook is hungry.

Now, he has to make a logical decision. A small fight doesn’t mean they broke up, and even if the air is tense between them, they’re still sharing a small space, and the sooner they fix things up the better. Also, he’s supposed to be a responsible, mature adult.

So he knocks on Jungkook’s door, and tries to ignore the surprised and wary look the younger greets him with.

“What?” Jungkook asks, sounding more bratty than intimidating, and Yoongi has to restrain himself of rolling his eyes so hard it actually hurts.

“Are you hungry?” he asks the younger “I’m gonna cook some ramen.”

Jungkook looks at him for a second, and then nods.

“Yeah, I could eat” he says. Then, like he’s not really sure if he should say it, he adds: “Thanks...hyung”

And that’s a start.

They eat in silence, sitting in front of each other, but at least the air feels easier to breath.

“I...” Jungkook starts, once they’re done with the food “I’m going out with Tae and Jimin, tonight”

Yoongi looks at him with a neutral expression, feeling a little bit hurt even though the news are not exactly a surprise.

“But,” the younger hurries to add “We’re still going to Seokjin hyung’s, later. To welcome the year”

“Okay” Yoongi nods “I’ll be there, too”

 

The rest of the day passes in a blur, Yoongi finally taking some time to work on his music, and before he can even realise, is already dark outside.

Yoongi checks the time in his computer and his eyes widen when he sees it’s already 7:30.

“Fuck...” he murmurs, taking his earphones off. He really needs to shower, if he wants to be at Seokjin’s before ten.

Just as he’s placing his laptop on the coffee table in front of the couch, Jungkook walks in.

He’s already dressed, looking as pretty as usual with his cute pink sweater and his light shorts. He’s also wearing a choker, and it makes Yoongi’s stomach twist a little.

“I’m heading out” he tells him “We’ll be at hyung’s at like, eleven”

“Yeah, okay” Yoongi nods, noticing the way Jungkook’s eyes look even prettier than normal with some makeup on.

The younger walks out of the living room, but Yoongi doesn’t hear the door. Curious, he follows Jungkook, just to find him standing in front of the door, one hand in the door knob.

“Everything okay?” he asks, and the younger turns around to look at him.

He looks upset.

“What did I do to make you angry?” Jungkook asks, and Yoongi is taken aback for a second.

“You didn’t do anything, Jungkook”

“Then why you got all mean yesterday? I tried to go into your room last night, when I came back, but the door was locked, why did you do that?” he asks again, and he sound so sad Yoongi wants to hug him.

Instead, since he’s a stupid man, he says: “You went straight into your room, I guessed you didn’t feel like talking”

“Well yeah, but I changed my mind! I felt cold and I missed you” Jungkook admits, looking at the floor “Is there anything wrong with me? You’re my first boyfriend, you have to tell me if I fucked up”

Yoongi shakes his head.

“No, no, no. There’s nothing wrong with you. You didn’t fuck up, I did” he admits, sighing “I just...I’ve been feeling weird these days, and I should’ve just told you, but I didn’t, and yesterday was the last straw for me”

“But what happened? I was having fun, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I was. But then you made that joke with the sunglasses and I kinda freaked out”

“What? The Lolita one? I was teasing you, hyung. I didn’t mean it” Jungkook says, looking confused.

“I know, it’s just...” Yoongi takes a deep breath “You’re so fucking young, Jungkook. I’ve been thinking about it for days now, and when you made that joke I felt really… gross. Like I’m some kind of perv or something”

“We’ve talked about it, Yoongi” Jungkook says “I want to be with you, and I’m old enough to make that decision. It’s not like you're thirty, and it’s not like I’m twelve”

“I know, I know … But eighteen is a complicated age, and you have all these family issues and stuff. Sometime I feel like I’m taking advantage of you, which is stupid, I know , but I can’t help it and it fucks me up… And then I fuck you up, and everything gets worst inside my head”

“Why would you even think you’re taking advantage of me? That makes no sense, what the hell?” the younger frowns “My family problems have nothing to do with the way I feel about you”

“But how can you know that, Jungkook?” Yoongi asks, stepping closer to him “You have these daddy issues because your dad has never been around, you had no one to talk to, no one to support you… And then here I am, and I treat you right and I listen to you” he makes a pause, looking at the younger “How can you be sure you’re not only infatuated by the way I give you everything you craved for all these years?”

At this, Jungkook stares at him with wide eyes.

Nobody speaks for a second, and then the younger’s face turns into something more angry.

“You really fucking think I could be with you just because I have daddy issues??? ” he asks, unbelieving, and he sounds offended “Like I couldn’t tell the difference between liking someone and dealing with a scumbag of a father and a broken family? You actually think I’m that fucking stupid?”

“It’s not something you can just know, Jungkook. That’s not how the brain works”

“Oh, so now you’re some kind of psychology expert?” he asks, mockingly “Well, please analyze me and tell me if I’m fucking you because my father never loved me!” Jungkook practically screams.

“That’s not what I said!” Yoongi shouts back

“Oh no, hyung, that’s exactly what you said” the younger cuts him, eyes teary and jaw clenched “Maybe I should just accept it and call you appa ,” he says, fists closed tightly “Or maybe daddy would be more fitting?”

“Stop it. I’m trying to talk to you, why won’t you just listen ?” he asks, exasperated “You’re acting like a kid, why do you have to be so fucking childish all the time!?”

“Well, you sure seem to like that when you fuck me, don’t you!?” Jungkook yells, and Yoongi almost flinches. Instead, he stares at the younger, eyes wide and jaw clenched.

Damn, kid’s got bite.

“What’s wrong, hyung ? You were the one who wanted to talk!” Jungkook says, feign innocence “And, you know, I totally see it now: you and my dad, are exactly the same!” he smiles, his voice dripping with sarcasm and hurt “Yeah, you know, since you hate the way I look and dress so much , and do nothing but remind me how stupid I am, and the way you just ignore me for days . Feels like I never left my house!” Yoongi wants him to stop, but the words come out of Jungkook’s mouth like poison, and he’s not done yet “You know, I think my daddy issues might run deeper than that… Maybe you should slap me, like my dad used to, and see if that turns me on.”

It’s enough. Jungkook looks so furious and upset, his usually sweet voice reduced to an ugly hiss, and it’s all Yoongi’s careless big ass mouth fault.

“Jungkook, stop it” he repeats “That’s not what I meant. I’m just worried about you hurting yourself”

At this, Jungkook looks at him with disbelief in his eyes, and then he scoff a laugh, empty and sad.

“Yeah? Well, it looks like it’s not myself whom I should be worrying about” he says, and Yoongi’s heart breaks. The younger turns around and opens the door “I’ll see you later” he says, and then leaves.

Once the apartment is silent, Yoongi feels the fury itching inside his skin. He grabs the closest thing he founds (a small flower vase) and throws it against the wall.

“Fuck!” he growls, fighting the urge to hit himself for being so fucking stupid.

Yeah, Yoongi he thinks, bitterly, that was such a success.

 

He arrives at Seokjin’s at 9:55, and Namjoon opens the door.

“Woah, you look awful” he says, and Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“I know” he answers, entering the apartment.

“What happened?” Namjoon asks, following inside.

The living room is warm, cozy and smells like Mom’s Food™. The feeling of home is very much welcomed.

“Jungkook and I had a nasty fight before he went out with Taehyung and Jimin” Yoongi tells him, because he’s not a liar and Namjoon would’ve found out eventually, so he might as well just tell him first.

Really? ” the younger asks, and he looks extremely surprised ”Well, I wasn’t expecting that”

“Yeah, well...” Yoongi shrugs. Seokjin walks out of the kitchen with his pink apron on.

“Yoongi!” he greets him, smiling “Do you want to drink something? You look awfully tired” he says, a little worried.

Yoongi feels guilty, like he betrayed Seokjin’s trust. And you kinda did… he thinks.

“I’m fine, thanks”

“You sure? there’s a lot of stuff in the fridge” the older insists.

“Thanks, hyung, I’ll drink something later”

“Well, I’ll be finishing dinner, then. Jimin texted me saying they’ll be here at ten thirty” he announces, smiling, and goes back to the kitchen.

“Where’s Hoseok?” Yoongi asks, turning to Namjoon.

“He’s picking up the kids so they stay out of trouble” the younger answers, and Yoongi scoffs.

“That’s what I call taking one for the team”

“He is a wonderful friend” Namjoon agrees “So, Jungkookie...”

“Smooth, Namjoon, very smooth” Yoongi says, sarcastically “I just...I’ve been feeling really insecure with all this age gap thing, y’know? and I, being the careless bigmouth that I am, told that to Jungkook in a rather… unpleasant way” he tells him.

Namjoon looks at him with scared eyes “Oh no… What did you say?”

“I might have said something about daddy issues and me being a substitute to his lack of a paternal figure… or something” he murmurs, hoping that Namjoon won’t hear what he says.

“YOU DID WHAT!?” of course he would hear “Oh my God, Yoongi, what the hell?”

“I know, okay? It’s just really hard and you know I don’t fucking know how to do all this feelings bullshit” he says.

“It seemed to me that you were doing it very good” Namjoon comments “But I guess social pressure really got into your head. I mean, is normal for somebody to...”

“Don’t get all smart on me, Kim Namjoon” the older warns him. Namjoon rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Fine. You’re pretty good at ignoring everybody’s opinion, so I suggest you do the same with this”

“It’s easier said than done”

Just when Namjoon opens his mouth to add something, the doorbell rings.

“Joonie, open up, please!” Seokjin shouts from the kitchen.

“I’m going!” Namjoon, answers, standing up.

Yoongi stays on the couch, his mind working extra fast to come up with a quick solution.

I mean, the obvious one would be talking to him .

But was it really a good idea? Their fight had been just a few hours ago, and Jungkook had walked out without giving Yoongi a chance to explain himself and fix his mess. Maybe he should give the younger some space, because a New Year’s party at Seokjin’s wasn’t the best place to finish that sort of discussion…

“Yoongi! So good to see you outside your cave!” greets him Hoseok, bending down to hug him in a really awkward position because the older is still sitting on the couch.

“And with pants on...” adds Jimin.

“One day I’m gonna grab my shit and leave you all…” he mutters.

“Ow, don’t be grumpy!” Taehyung says “It’s New Year’s Eve! And you missed my birthday party, so you owe me a nice smile”

“I owe you nothing, little brat” Yoongi says, but deep down, he feels guilty. Knowing Taehyung, Yoongi being the only one missing his birthday surely upset him.

Jungkook says nothing. He just walks in, looking pretty and flushed and otherworldly, gives him a quick glance, and walks straight into the kitchen.

The awkward exchange is not as subtle as Yoongi wishes, so when the younger is no longer in the room, there’s an uncomfortable silence.

“I’ll get some drinks” says Namjoon, practically running out of the living room and nearly tripping over a chair.

“So… Jungkookie said you guys fought” Jimin says, sitting besides Yoongi as casually as he can.

“Yeah” Yoongi nods.

“He seemed pretty upset” Hoseok observes.

“He didn’t want to tell us what happened, exactly” Taehyung adds.

“It was… a stupid mistake of mine. I really don’t wanna talk about it, so...” he trades off.

As much as Yoongi complains about these three, he has to admit that they’re probably the most kindhearted people he’s ever met, so when they hear the hurt in Yoongi’s voice, they don’t pry.

Namjoon comes back holding a big bowl full of some kind of food (Yoongi guesses) and puts it in the center of the table.

“I can’t believe Seokjin trusted you with something made of glass” he comments, and just like that, Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung are laughing and the interrogation is over.

Later, Jungkook and Seokjin set the table and it’s time to eat.

As usual, everything tastes like Heaven, and Seokjin smiles proudly when they all tell him so.

Jungkook sits between Hoseok and Taehyung, and Yoongi ends up sitting next to Namjoon, so they’re not close but neither in front of each other, so Yoongi is really surprised when the younger addresses him directly, even if he’s just asking him for the rice. This is better, he tells himself, but it still leaves a bitter taste on his mouth, the way Jungkook ignores him without actually ignoring him.

The rest of the night goes without major incidents, and before Yoongi realizes, is already midnight and the year is over.

“I can’t believe it’s over! I feel so old!” says Taehyung, putting a hand in his forehead dramatically.

“Shut up, you’re like five” answers Jimin, hitting him playfully in the butt.

“Just because you’re a few months older doesn’t mean you can disrespect me” Taehyung tells him, sticking out his tongue.

“Tae, I told you I don’t like it when you stick out your tongue at me!” Jimin complains.

“So? What can you do to stop me?”

“I’ll bite you”

“Oh, kinky

“Okay, cut it out” Seokjin interrupts them “I’m all for love and shit, but your weird flirting is disgusting”

“We’re not flirting” they say at the same time. The other five stare at them, one eyebrow raised.

“Ok, whatever you says” says Namjoon “I’ll get the soju” and he goes back into the kitchen.

They start the year like the college students they are: drinking and playing and making fun of eachother. Seokjin has to throw them out at three a.m because Hoseok is the DD and Jimin is already way too drunk.

“You’re right, hyung” Hoseok says, standing up “I don’t want Jimin throwing up in my car… again”

“That was one time!” the younger defends himself.

“Four times” the other six correct him.

“Whatever” he murmurs, frowning at the floor.

“Well, then I’ll leave too” says Yoongi “Thanks for feeding us”

“Like there’s any other reason you all want me here”

“That’s not true!” Taehyung says “You also give the best birthday gifts ever!”

Seokjin smacks him in the head, but laughs.

“Unbelievable” he sighs.

The seven of them walk towards the door, and this is the moment Yoongi realizes he doesn’t have a fucking clue about what will Jungkook do. Is he going back with Yoongi? Is he going back with Hoseok? Is he going back at all ?

So, when the others are saying goodbye, he grabs the younger by the wrist and pulls him a little farther from the group.

“Jungkook” he says, voice low “I think we need to talk”

The younger looks at him, then back to their friends “I don’t think is a good idea right now” he says “I...I’m going back to Jimin and Taehyung’s dorm”

Yoongi stares at him “For how long?”

“I don’t know…”

“Jungkookie, I’m really sorry, okay?” the older admits, holding Jungkook’s wrist tighter.

Jungkook nods “And so am I...but what’s done is done, and you- we said some pretty harsh stuffs. So I think is better we avoid all the awkwardness while we sort things out”

“How are we going to sort things out if we’re not together ?” Yoongi asks him, because that’s not how relationships work, dammit “Don’t run away. Relationships are like this, okay? Sometimes it’s awkward and tense, but running isn’t the right way of doing it”

Hyung ” Jungkook pleads, eyes big and shiny “Please, I promise it won’t be too long but… This is a first and it’s hard and confusing, and I know everything is going to get worst if I come back right now...” he holds Yoongi’s gaze “I’m trying

Yoongi knows this look, and this voice. He’s too familiar with the way Jungkook moves his fingers restlessly and the way he breathes quickly and shallowly. He’s nervous, almost anxious , and Yoongi gives up.

He lets go of Jungkook’s wrist.

“Fine” he says, and then he turns around and leaves.

 

It was all forlorn

If only for a season

 

**

Not living with Yoongi really sucks.

Jungkook has been staying at Jimin and Taehyung’s dorm for two weeks, but it only takes him two days to realize that he’s spoiled and ruined for life.

First, it was the lonely cold feeling of sleeping alone, but that was fixed quickly by moving to Taehyung’s bed. The older is a total cuddler, so it wasn’t a problem.

But then they were the little details. Waking up in the room alone ( ‘we have early classes!’ ), not fitting comfortably in the couch ( ‘today is Jimin’s turn to lay down’ ), no one indulging his little whims ( ‘sorry Kookie, we don’t like strawberry pockys, so we never buy them’ ).

He loves his friends, but his relationship with Yoongi was ( is? ) something else, and he misses the kind of intimacy they shared.

But he’s also so scared.

Yoongi’s words really hurt him, and the fact that Jungkook cares so much about him only made it worse. He knows the older didn’t mean everything he said, and that he’s sorry (he texted Jungkook for the first five days), but Jungkook is insecure and doubtful and weak and small.

“God, I hate growing up” he groans, digging the heel of his hands in his eyes.

“Amen” Jimin, who’s sitting besides him, pats him in the back “You know… I’ve seen Yoongi around. He asks for you and stuff”

Jungkook whimpers pitifully. He knows the new semester started a few days ago, and he knows Yoongi and Jimin share a class, so it’s not a surprise, but Yoongi actually asked for him, and he hasn’t even been able to come out of the room in three days because he’s been to scared to run into Yoongi and how pathetic is that?

“I’m such a mess” he whispers

“Yeah, but we all kinda are, so whatevs” Jimin shrugs “The real question is, when are you going to grow a pair and talk to Yoongi? Is not like we don’t love you and shit, but you’re not supposed to be here and it’s hard to hide a grown baby”

Jungkook scoffs.

“You’re only annoyed because you and Tae can’t fuck while I’m around”

“Ok, first of all, we don’t fuck” Jimin clarifies “Unless we’re drunk or haven’t had a decent lay in a while”

“Yeah, sure...”

“Second of all” Jimin continues, ignoring him “I’m really worried, Kookie. You and Yoongi work together, even though you’re so fucking different I don’t even know how that even happened”

The younger looks down, sighing.

“I really miss him” he admits.

“I know...”

“He’s so nice to me”

“So I’ve been told”

“And he fucks me so good” he whines, pouting.

“Mhmmmmm...”

“Grade A dick, I swear to God”

“Ok, that’s enough”

“Really! He does this thing with his...”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, JEON JUNGKOOK” Jimin cuts him, standing up and giving him a warning look, and the younger laughs.

Jimin is grabbing a cushion to hit Jungkook, when the younger’s cell phone rings.

Jungkook grabs it, and his face turns into something like panic.

“It’s...It’s Yoongi” he murmurs, looking at the cell phone like it’s on fire.

Jimin looks at him with eyes wide with surprise.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Pick up!” he encourages him.

“But what will I say to him? I’m not ready!”

Jimin rolls his eyes and groans.

“I can’t believe you, you giant crybaby. Gimme that...” he says, and snatchs the phone out of Jungkook’s hands. Before the younger can even protest, he answers the call “Hi, Yoongi hyung! Everything is fine… Jungkook? Oh yeah, he’s here” and he practically stamps the phone on Jungkook’s face.

“You little son of a…” he murmurs, but Yoongi cuts him.

“Jungkook?”

The younger swallowed hard “Yeah, it’s me”

“I just… I know you’re probably still mad and stuff, but today we’re supposed to record that song we’ve been talking about?” he says, and it’s the first time Jungkook hears him sounding so unsure “So, I wanted to know if you were still up for it?”

To his surprise, he doesn’t even needs to think about it “Yes, I am” he answers “Where and when?”

“Oh, that’s...that’s great” Yoongi tells him, and he sounds surprised and relieved, like he actually thought Jungkook would say no “Kibum’s studio, in two hours. You know how to get there, no?”

“Yeah” Jungkook nods.

“Well, then… see you there” Yoongi says, awkwardly.

“Same” the younger responds, and if Yoongi was awkward, Jungkook is just fucking embarrassing.

Then they hang up, and Jimin is looking at him.

“Well?” he asks, expectantly.

“We had this recording thing planned since a few weeks ago, and he called to know if I was still up for it”

“And you obviously said yes, right?

“I did”

“God bless you! Now all you have to do is talk to him and fix this mess” Jimin sighs, smiling.

“It’s not that simple, Jimminnie...”

“It is that simple, Jungkookie, now go and get dressed or something”

“That’s in like two hours, y’know?”

“Whatever...”

**

Their first encounter after the fight is as awkward as Yoongi expected.

Jungkook arrives before Yoongi has the whole thing setted up, so they spend ten minutes in uncomfortable silence while the older fixes everything.

Finally, he says “Jungkookie”

The younger, who was busying himself with his phone, lifts his head, surprised.

“We should do some soundcheck” Yoongi tells him, pointing at the recording booth with his head.

“Oh, yeah” says Jungkook, standing up and getting inside the booth. Yoongi presses a button.

“Just, sing whatever you want” he says, and Jungkook gives him a thumbs up.

He’d really missed Jungkook’s voice.

The younger sings fragments of different songs, some even in english, and listen to Yoongi when the older tells him to stop, to sing louder, to hold the note just a little bit.

Once he’s done with everything, he tells Jungkook ”Okay, now we’re ready to record… You need the lyrics?”

Jungkook shakes his head “I have them on my phone” he says “Besides… I remember them” he admits, blushing slightly, and Yoongi smiles.

“Good” he says, because I wrote them for you.

So he gives Jungkook the all clear and they start.

 

It’s hard not to feel at ease when they’re together, even if the air is a little tense and Yoongi has to think twice everytime before saying anything.

After an hour of non-stop singing, Yoongi decides give Jungkook a break.

“You’re doing great” he tells him, wanting to reach and ruff the younger’s hair but holding himself back.

Jungkook smiles at him “Thanks, it’s actually really fun”

Yoongi nods, and then they stay in silence, staring at each other.

It’s awkward as hell.

“Jungkookie, I think...” the older starts, but Jungkook’s cell phone interrupts him.

The younger takes his phone out of his pocket, and his face changes drastically from neutral to confused to scared “Sorry, I...It’s my dad, I better pick up” he mumbles "Hi dad...Of course I answered you...Oh...How did it go? Well, that’s what the practice test is for, isn’t? I'll work harder..." at this, Yoongi frowns. If there’s someone who needs to rest and relax a little, that’s Jungkook “I'm sorry...Oh...Yeah...About that...I...I'm not going to business school” this catches Yoongi’s attention for two reasons: the change in Jungkook’s tone, and the younger locking eyes with him. “No, I mean I'm not going to business school, ever. I don't wanna study business….Arts...Yes...It's not just dance, dad. It's music and painting and history and many other things. It's a real degree...I will. It makes me happy, and I'll do it....No! I mean, I’m not at the apartment right now...I’m recording something...In a studio....Yeah, with Yoongi hyung...I guess you could come over” when Jungkook says that, he looks at the older with questioning eyes. Yoongi just shrugs and nods “Yes, we’ll talk later...Bye” he hangs up.

“So...” Yoongi says, raising an eyebrow.

“My dad’s coming over to ‘convince’ me to not go to arts school” Jungkook says, and he sounds miserable.

“Hey, don’t worry” the older tells him “This place is safe. Besides, I’m here. I’d never let him hurt you”

“He’s like six foot tall and served in the military for five years” the younger comments.

“Well fuck” Yoongi exclaims, honestly impressed “Whatever, I’ll hit him if I have to. I’m not scared” he assures him, and Jungkook smiles at him.

The atmosphere is good, more relaxed now, and Yoongi would be dammed if he lets the moment scape.

“Kookie, listen… I am really sorry, okay?” he says, his tone changing into a more serious one “I was kind of an asshole and you have all the right to be mad, but I just want you to know that I miss you so fucking much”

Jungkook bites his lips and looks down.

“I...I miss you too” he admits “But I’m scared, because what makes you uncomfortable it’s something I can’t fix…”

“That’s the thing: your age doesn’t make me uncomfortable, it makes me insecure” Yoongi confesses “I’m already settling down, but you still have the chance to go wherever you want to, do whatever you want to. You can wake up one day and decide you’re bored of me, and it terrifies me a little”

Jungkook looks a little taken aback. He gives a short laughs that sounds more like a scoff “Well, you do have a really weird way of expressing your fears… You didn’t even need to mention my daddy issues to say that”

Jungkook ” Yoongi warns, frowning “I’m trying to open up and fix things. Please

The younger sighs “You’re right, sorry”

“That’s fine. What I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to come back right now, but at least think about it, yeah?” the older asks.

“Yeah” Jungkook nods “I’ll think about it” he says, smiling softly.

It’s not a yes , but it’s still better than a door slamming in his face.

 

Jungkook’s dad arrives at six, when Yoongi and Jungkook are recording some background vocals. He doesn’t call the younger or even announces his arrival, just walks through the door like he owns the place.

Yoongi feels confused ( who’s this man and who let him in? ) at first, but then the familiar features (the round nose, the big eyes, the long legs) ring a bell and he knows it’s Jungkook’s dad before the younger comes out of the recording booth and confirms it to him.

“Dad… I thought you would call” he says, and Yoongi can hear the nervousness on his voice.

“You look like a little girl” the man says, completely ignoring him.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, so his dad continues “Is this your friend? The one who helped  you run away like a wimp?”

“Yoongi” Jungkook corrects him “And he didn’t help me run away. I left on my own”

“Yeah, sure” Jungkook’s dad laughs “Like you could do something like that without help. You’re still an useless child, Jungkook” he says, his tone cutting and severe.

Yoongi stares at the man with wide eyes, his blood heating up, while Jungkook only looks down.

This battle isn’t yours to fight, Yoongi, he reminds himself.

“What was all the arts school drama you just pulled on the phone?” the man continues “Is Yoongi helping you with that too?”

“Don’t drag my friends into this” Jungkook says “I want to study arts, and I’ll do it”

It makes Yoongi proud, the way Jungkook stans a little bit straighter, squaring up his shoulders.

“First all those girl’s clothes, now this” he comments with disdain, like Jungkook is a cat who brought him a dead mouse “You really are a broken one”

Yoongi’s fists tighten, nails digging into his palm.

“I’m not broken” Jungkook says “You just don’t like the way I turned out”

“I should’ve been around more” his dad says “Your mother has never been able to discipline you properly”

“She never hit me, you mean” Jungkook replies, and Yoongi smirks.

You go, baby.

The man frowns “Watch your tone, Jeon, I’m still your father” he warns “I won’t approve that arts school stupidity” he says “You’re too young and naïve, depending on your friends and your mother’s money. You really think you could make it? That you could feed yourself if you study something like arts?” he laughs, mockingly “You act like a dumb little puppy. Tell me, Jungkook, are you a pet? Making others take care of you because you're too inept to make something right and do it yourself"

Jungkook flinches back, and Yoongi really feels like committing murder.

"I'm not inept..."

"Yes, you are. A grown up man would've known things aren't always the way we want, and would've stayed at his own house. A smart kid would've understood that nail polish and pink are for girls, and would've got over it. A competent person would listen to me and stop that art school senseless"

"Dad, it's enough" the younger says, his tone half pleading, half warning.

"What, don't you want to hear the truth?" the man asks "You're so childish, Jungkook, always throwing tantrums like a little kid. If your mother wasn't so worried and sentimental I would gladly forget about you... I've worked so hard to make you a great man and this is how you repay me? What a waste" he spits, words burning like acid, but Jungkook has had enough.

He’s just so tired of people telling him how childish he is, how incompetent he seems, what his limits are… Everybody seems to forget that Jungkook is the one who knows Jungkook the most.

So when his dad won’t stop saying mean things to him, disguising his insults with fake worries about him and his future now that Jungkook is old enough to make his own choices (instead of when the younger was 16, killing himself in school, and his dad only called from America to asks how hard was he studying), he says, voice loud and clear: “Shut up”

His dad goes silent immediately, looking at the younger with disbelieving eyes.

“What did you say?” he asks, frowning.

“Shut up” Jungkook repeats “I’m tired. I don’t wanna hear you anymore”

Jungkook’s dad goes livid, face heating up with rage.

“Who the hell do you think you are, ungrateful brat?!” he grunts “I’m going to show you some respect for your elders right now!” he says, raising his arm with his hand wide open, and Jungkook it’s ready to feel the hit. He doesn’t even feels that scared anymore, even though his heart is about to beat out of his chest and he’s pretty sure he’s sweating cold.

The impact, however, never comes. Instead, there’s a loud slap , the telltale sound of skin against skin, and Yoongi is right next to him, hand quickly reddening from where he stopped the slap.

“Back off, old man” he says, voice calm, but Jungkook can see the anger in his eyes.

“Well, I see now where you learned to behave like a savage” Jungkook’s father says, looking at Yoongi with dreadful eyes.

“Yeah, because you’ve obviously been such a great example of civil behaviour” Yoongi spits back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m not scared of imparting some well needed discipline on you too, kid” the man warns. Yoongi steps closer, and Jungkook looks at both of them with wide, surprised eyes.

“You wanna fucking go, grandpa?” Yoongi taunts him, not caring about the fact that this man is at least one head taller and fucking ripped .

“You talk a lot for a sissy with dyed hair” Jungkook’s dad observes, giving Yoongi a judgy look.

Yoongi laughs.

“Wow, that was so mature, Mr.Jeon” he says, cynically, and Jungkook bites his cheek to stop himself from laughing as well “I’m actually really hurt right now”

This time, the man steps even closer, fits closed tightly and eyebrows furrowed, and Jungkook knows his dad enough to know that this time he’s serious. No more talking.

He also knows Yoongi enough to know he’s willing to fight, even if that means ending up in the hospital.

Jungkook really hates hospitals.

So he moves between the other two, both of them taken aback, like they had forgotten about him being there.

“I think you better go, dad” Jungkook says “Before you make a fool of yourself”

There might not be anyone beside the three of them inside the studio, but the door is made of glass, the building is full and a fight would surely draw attention.

If there’s something Jungkook’s dad hates more than being disobeyed, is public scrutiny. So he takes a second to give both Yoongi and Jungkook a look, and then turns around and leaves.

And Jungkook can breathe again.

“That was awfully anticlimactic” Yoongi comments, raising an eyebrow.

Jungkook turns around.

“You crazy bastard!” he says, like he’s scolding him “I didn’t know hyung was so dumb! Didn’t you hear when I said my dad was in the military for five years ? Do you wanna die?!” he asks, obviously upset, and Yoongi smiles sheepishly at him.

“Sorry?” he says, but he doesn’t look sorry at all “I was ready to fight him, though. Go big or go home”

“More like go home or go to the fucking hospital ” Jungkook scoffs. His heart is yet to slow down, but he doesn’t feel so anxious anymore “But...Thank you”

“You don’t have to thank me” Yoongi assures him “I’ll fight for you any day”

The younger snorts “Hyung! that’s so cheesy, oh my god” he laughs.

Yoongi smiles, this time gummy and real, and steps closer to the younger.

“I got really scared, when he went to hit you” he admits “That man’s crazy”

“He’s a strict one” Jungkook agrees “But I’m good now. All this was bound to happen, and I’m glad you were here to make me feel safer” he smiles too, small and cute, and hugs Yoongi, arms wrapping tightly around his middle. “Thanks” he whispers against the older’s hair.

Yoongi hugs him back like he was waiting for it, both arms around his neck and one hand caressing the short hairs in his neck.

“Does this mean you’re coming back?” Yoongi asks, voice muffled by Jungkook’s shoulder.

“We’re still have things to fix,” Jungkook says “but I guess it’s time for me to stop cockblocking Tae and Jimin”

Yoongi groans.

“Now, that was anticlimactic” he whines, and Jungkook laughs. “Can I go back to call you baby?”

“Yeah” Jungkook nods, biting his lips.

“Great, because Jungkookie is way too long” Yoongi admits, sighing. The younger laughs a little, and this hug has been way too long and they probably look a little dumb, but Jungkook smells like strawberry and Yoongi feels too happy to even care. It’s not like there’s anybody to judge them, anyways.

They stay like that, together and in silence, Yoongi enjoying the way Jungkook’s heart slows down, and Jungkook appreciating the warmth Yoongi’s small body gives him.

“Hyung...” the younger whispers after a few minutes.

“Hmmmm” Yoongi acknowledges him, head still buried against his shoulder.

“You looked really hot when you got all rude and protective” Jungkook admits, and Yoongi laughs.

“You horny brat”

“I mean, I’m glad nothing happened, but hyung can get rough with me whenever he wants. I can take it”

Jungkook , we’re still at the studio”

The younger laughs a little, sweet and silly, and Yoongi trembles.

“I’m sorry” the younger says, sounding not sorry at all.

And yeah, they still have things to fix and hearts to mend and they probably will never be perfect, but whatever, because Jungkook is right there and that’s exactly what Yoongi needs to be happy.

 

fin.

Notes:

Jungkook with blond hair, amirite?

That's all, folks! I hope you're satisfied with this :)

Your comments make me happy and inspire me, so please tell me what you think! I'll probably be posting more stories in the future. I put the links to the outfits, and there's even one for Yoongi! I just thought it would be fun to let you know how I imagine him, and also compare his style to Jungkook's.

I still have problems with tumblr, but you can find me there (llorantina) and write to me if you want. I promise I'm very nice.

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