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"Man. Man, you're craaaazy." Matsukawa grins, wiggling his eyebrows. "You know i always beat you at this kinda thing."

Hanamaki flips him off without looking up, taking another bite of his burger. They're eating lunch, Wednesday afternoon, and it's raining outside- although Iwaizumi and Oikawa have ditched them to go practice volleyball or something, anything where they make heart eyes together with a devastating  lack of making out. Which, case in point, needs to be fixed. Hanmaki is taking matters into his own hands 

He swallows, finally, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "No, you don't. you're just living under a delusion-"

"-That's not what i heard last time we played monopoly-"

"delusion, i tell you. Besides, if you're so amazing- quote unquote- at this type of thing, just agree! What are you scared of?" he shrugs, smiling innocently, and rejoices inside as the corners of Matsukawa's mouth droop into their trademark scowl. Yeah, take that, you- you dumb elf, with your impish dimples and curly hair and- 

"Whoever gets Oikawa and Iwaizumi to confess they like each other first wins, right?" Matsukawa says thoughtfully, breaking Takahiro's train of thought. "Master for a day, right?"

"Week," Hanamaki insists, rather foolishly- Matsukawa does always beat him at this kind of thing. Good thing he's definitely more on the masochist side of things, and if he's going down, he may as well do it in a blaze of glory. 

 

At least Oikawa and Iwaizumi will be dating by the end of it. The sexual tension between them lately has been so thick you could cut it with a knife- something Matsukawa has helpfully acted out multiple times. 

 

(Now he has a suspiciously volleyball-shaped bruise decorating his back. Iwaizumi swears it was an accident. Oikawa thought it was the funniest thing since 'ghost shark: final eclipse.' Hanmaki wonders if he should be worried at the fact Matsukawa casually has a knife at hand.) 

"Deal." Matsukawa grins. A dimple forms on his chin, and Hanamaki tries not to stare. 

"Deal," He replies finally, mouth feeling like someone's filled it with sand. "And i'm not touching your hand. It's covered in ketchup, you swine."

Matsukawa snorts- Case. In. Point.- and Hanamaki rolls his eyes, flips him off again, before slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking away. "Hanamakiiiiii! Don't ditch me, you bastard!" Mastsukawa shouts after him, condiment-smeared hand waving wildly in the air, and Hanamaki snickers.

"Not my fault you're such a slow eater, dickwad! I have to get started on the bet!" he winks, and Matsukawa rolls smokey green eyes. "No amount of time will improve you." he smiles lazily, but theirs something so painfully fond in it that Hanamaki has to turn away before he gets all... choked up, or something. 

 

God. Ew. He's turning into Oikawa. And he doesn't even like Matsukawa that way. 

 

(Definitely.)

 

------------------------ 

 

 

Hanamaki walks in on Oikawa washing his hands in the communal bathroom, a little bottle of raspberry-scented hand lotion opened beside him. Oikawa smiles at him perfectly, before flicking a curl of chocolate out of his eyes.

"Makki," He cooes. "Fancy seeing you here! I actually wanted to tell you someth-"

"Yeah, yeah, that's really great." Hanamaki waves him off. "I actually had something to tell you, and it's urgent. Can't wait."

Oikawa frowns delicately. With honeysuckle skin and rose petal lips, he looks like a really sad flower bush, or something. Whatever, Hanamaki isn't good with words, but Oikawa looks pretty damn fine. Hanamaki can understand Iwaizumi's thirst. 

"Its super, super important," Hanamaki adds hurriedly, because Oikawa still doesn't look convinced. "About- um- Iwaizumi." 

Straw that breaks the camels back. Oikawa's eyes light up and he corks the lotion bottle before slipping it back into his blazer pocket- yeah, things are really getting serious. Iwaizumi is the only one Oikawa will ever halt his 'beauty regime' for. 

"Oh! Good!" Oikawa says, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Y'know, i thought you and Mattsun were denser than that, Makki, but looks like you guys-"

"Wait. What? What are you on about?" Makki blinks. "And also, Dense? Me? Dude, i'm sharper than a needle. Lighter than a feather. Graceful as a-"

"-Lumbering bull, yes, i know." Oikawa cuts in dryly. "It doesn't matter, i was wrong. You are an idiot."

Hanamaki literally has no idea what Oikawa is talking about, but he's not that worried. If a guy who still wears UFO-patterned pajamas to bed has a low opinion of him, he thinks he can survive. What is not okay, however? If a guy who wears UFO-patterned pajamas does not get his libido together. Makki is a good friend. He may be getting insulted now, but when this is all over Oikawa will be on the floor thanking him. 

Oikawa sighs, reaching back into his pocket for his hand lotion. Damnit. Makki knows the minute that thing is uncorked he'll be virtually invisible. (I mean, he pretty is at school already- you try getting a date whilst being friends with Mr I'm-so-popular-i-survive-entirely-on-meals-other-girls-have-made-for-me.  Yeah, not cool.)

"Wait!" Makki yells so loud that Oikawa jumps, and the bottle clatters to the ground. He swipes it up, holding it above his head. "Ha!"

In the excitement of the moment, he forgot the fatal flaw in his plan- Oikawa is taller, and (God, as much as he hates to admit it) a bit stronger than him, so he literally just has reach up a tiny bit before the bottle is back in his hands. 

"Makki." Oikawa raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "What. The hell."

"I just wanted to talk about Iwaizumi! It's not my fault you're so obsessed with your.... your... beauty things."

"My beauty things?" The other eyebrow inches up to match the first. 

"Yeah.. you know." Makki gestures weakly. Just keep digging yourself into this hole man, you got it."Like, the hand lotion. And the avocado face masks. And the polly pocket lipbalm."

Oikawa grimaces sweetly, and Makki wonders fleetingly if its the last expression he'll ever see. Then Oikawa seemingly gives up, and shakes his head, cinnamon curls bouncing around his face like he's in a shampoo advert. 

"Oh, but Makki." He says sympathetically, the same tone of voice people use when they say 'sorry for your loss'. "It pays off, doesn't it? See how fresh and healthy my skin is? Not gonna lie, yours is kind of scaly. Y'know, like Godzilla? Yeah. Splitting image. Which, coincidentally, is why i have managed to get a boyfrie-"

"Wait, what?" Makki cuts in. "Godzilla? Man. No way! It's not that scaly!" He touches a hand to his cheek, before frowning up at Oikawa like a small child. "Is it?" he says finally, voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Like Godzilla's, i mean? Do i look like a lizard?"

Oikawa doesn't reply, just holds out his hand lotion with a downright patronizing look on his face. 

Makki stares at it for a few seconds. Swears, then squirts it into his palm. "Y'know," he adds in a desperate bid to contribute in at least some way to him winning the bet. "I bet Iwaizumi would adore your soft skin. I bet he'd love to.... feel it some time."

Oikawa stares at him. "Um... right, i'm sure you're...correct. Well, it's been nice talking to you anyways, Makki, but i'm gonna go now. I'll be late for Math. See you in volleyball practice, yeah?"

Makki scowls. "Yeah."

"And, uh, you can keep the lotion thing. You... need it more than i do." 

Then Oikawa is gone, a raspberry-scented hurricane of insults and selfies. 

Makki stares at the door for a second, before groaning and shoving the plastic bottle in his pocket. 

"Well." He grumbles. "At least this hasn't been a complete waste of time. At least i'll have hydrated skin now."

 

(Although, in reality, who is he kidding.)

 

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"Urgh." Mastukawa groans, pushing his head into his hands. Friday afternoon, lunch time. They're sitting outside on park benches, by the vending machine, the sun beating down on them. They're alone- Iwaizumi is ill and Oikawa is off talking to some girls. They've had a lot of time alone together recently, which bad because he misses Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but good for... other reasons."This is harder than i thought. You might actually have a shot at winning, 'hiro."

"Yeah?" Hanamaki grins, before remembering the bathroom scene. "Wait... no. Definitely no." He sighs, toying with the hem of his blazer. 

"Really? You can't be doing worse than me. I tried talking to Iwaizumi yesterday, and he ended up going on a three-minute rant about Godzilla. I haven't even seen the move, but i could probably write a Wikipedia article about it. You?"

"Literally the same thing with Oikawa." He grins. "Caught him in a bathroom alone, tried to talk about his man crush, ended up on the subject of Godzilla. Although.." he frowns. "Different context than yours. Mine was... raspberries. Insults, Polly pocket lip balm." He shudders. "Don't ask."

Matsukawa nods wisely. "Wasn't going to." 

 

Hanamaki laughs, covering his mouth with his sleeve. "Good for you," he replies teasingly, except the way Matsukawa is staring at him is kind of... unsettling. Like he's just gifted him with a small litter of baby dachshunds instead of laughing at a kinda lame joke. 

"Um." he clears his throat. "Yeah. That's, uh, good."

"Oh. um." Matsukawa looks like he wants to explode. Hanamaki wouldn't mind getting in on that deal. "Hey, uh... you're skin looks really nice today. It looks really soft." 

"What?" Hanamaki says. He thinks he hears Matsukawa swear quietly under his breath, but he can't be sure, and he's already examining his cheeks appreciatively, checking his reflection in his phone camera. "Really? I mean, now you mention it i can see it, but-"

Matsukawa laughs, and his eyes go all crinkly around the edges like he's squinting at the sun. It's a sight Hanamaki wouldn't mind looking at for a long, long time. Which is probably the second gayest thought he's had today, right after 'maybe i should start using polly pocket lipbalm as well.' (He actually hasn't entirely dismissed that one yet. I mean, it does pretty well for Oikawa, right?)

 "Yeah. It's nice, man, it's really nice. Although... you look pretty nice without it as well."

Hanamaki is about to reply- you know, after he regains control of his basic bodily functions (Includes: Thinking, breathing, talking,) again, but Oikawa strolls over, carton of strawberry milk in one hand and sunglasses hiding his eyes. A lollipop stick juts out of his mouth, and Hanamaki can smell the sickly cherry flavor from a meter away.

 "Hey," Oikawa says, in an annoyingly suave way. "Help me snapchat my milk to Tobio. The vending machine at his school is broken, and i want him to be jealous."

"Oikawa, you don't even like strawberry milk." Matsukawa blinks. Oikawa flips his sunglasses back, staring at him, unimpressed. His eyes are bloodshot and thin veins pull outwards from them, like tiny spiderwebs. 

"Did i say i liked them? Now here, take my phone. No, not you Hanamaki- You always take blurry pictures, Jesus."

"Um." Matsukawa butts in before Hanamaki can complain about the absolute unfairness of that completely  unprovoked attack on his photography skills. Have you even seen Makki's selfies? They're freaking gold. "Oikawa? You don't look so good."

Okay: So Oikawa still looks good- in all honesty, he looks great- but Oikawa usually looks like some model who got lost in a high school. Not some cranky teenager doesn't sleep and spends their time making fun of fifteen year olds over snapchat. 

Oikawa sighs, running slender fingers through tousled hair. "Yeah. Sorry, y'know, i just miss Haji-" he cuts himself off with a yawn.

Hanamaki frowns. "Haji? Weird name. She one of your girlfriends?"

"Uh... Have you seen Iwaizumi's arms lately?" Matsukawa blurts suddenly. Flipping cheat. 

Oikawa stares at them both for a second, before flipping back down his shades and sighing. "Right. Sorry, forgot you were both idiots. Whatever." He took a sip of his strawberry milk, before making a face. "Ew. I hate strawberry! Makkiiii, can you lend me money for a chocolate one?"

"What? No! Why did you buy a strawberry one if you hate them? You can't call me an idiot then expect me to buy you chocolate milk!"

"Eurgh." Oikawa took another sip, then gagged over-dramatically. "Ew, ew, it tastes of plastic. Do these people know what actual strawberries taste like? Have they ever had strawberries before? This is an outrage, i-"

"Oikawa." Matsukawa said seriously, laying his hands on the brunette's shoulders. "Oikawa, calm down."

Oikawa slumped like Matsukawa had just lifted a massive load off his back. He sighed, rubbing his face with his palm. "Sorry." he said miserably. "Sorry, i just miss-"

"Yeah, i know. You miss this Haji girl. But maybe what you need is closer than you think?" Matsukawa rubbed his back comfortingly, and Oikawa studied him for a while, before turning away. 

"You're literally pranking me." He said sadly, shaking his head. "I refuse to believe my friends are so stupid. Makki, tell me you aren't this stupid."

"Im not stupid at all! Stop calling me stupid!" 

"Never mind. You guys keep this game going as long as you like. I'll let you tire yourself out." He took another sip of his milk, before spitting it out violently on the ground. "Eurgh, i forgot it was strawberry!"

He stormed away, only stopping to chuck the milk carton violently into the bin. Makki and Mattsun flinched in sync as it crashed angrily against the lid. 

"Damn," Matsukawa whistled eventually. "He's, uh, pretty pissed."

"Yeah." Makki agreed, nodding. "He was like that when we were talking, all upset and antsy, kept calling me an idiot. He even said i had scaly skin."

"No way,"

"Yeah way, man. Freaking hurt."

Matsukawa sighed. "It's okay. It's okay, man, 'cause when they get together it'll be totally worth it, right? We'll have made them really happy."

"Yeah." Hanamaki grinned. "Weeeeell.... I'll be making them really happy. You can get as mushy as you like, man, it's still a bet and i'm still gonna win it."

"Oh yeah? You've just released the fucking kraken, mate. Be afraid." He grins goofily, mimicking out punches and kicks on the air. Hanamaki laughs, and half wishes he could take a blurred photo, capture the sunlight glinting in his unruly hair and the dimple curved gracefully into his chin.

 

--------------------------------------

 

 "....I don't know if they know and are just ignoring it or are genuinely this oblivious...."

"....They're our friends, Tooru! Of course they would support us."

 

Hanamaki frowned, straining to hear better. It was a crisp, early Monday morning, worlds away from the heavy sun of the past few days. Hanamaki had been hoping for some early volleyball practice before school, but he could here soft, rushed voices whispering inside the hall. 

 

"Don't worry about it."  That was definitely Iwaizumi, Hanamaki figured- It had that rough commanding tone to it that made you want to simultaneously wet your pants and give him a round of applause. 

"It's just upsetting me." That was Oikawa- soft yet stern, inspiring and annoying, punch-inducing and kiss-inducing. 

 

Hanamaki frowned. What was upsetting Oikawa? Trouble with this Haji girl? Good. As much as Hanamaki liked to see his friend happy, he knew in the long run it was Iwaizumi who would make Oikawa the happiest. He knew they liked each other. He just had to make the idiots realize it. 

"Look." there's a gruff sigh. "I'll talk to him."

"Oh, God no. You're the most oblivious of them all. Putting you all together would be a disaster-"

"Hey."  

Silence, and then Iwaizumi speaks again. 

"I put you before everyone. You know that, right? Don't worry."

 

Oh. My, God. Hanamaki would scream if he wasn't meant to be eavesdropping. This is great- This is better than great! Oikawa could finally see how much Iwaizumi cared for him, they would kiss, he would cut all ties with Haji, then they'd ride off into volleyball sunset having holding hands and tossing to each other, which is obviously the very purest form of love. 

Jesus, fuck. He has to find Matsukawa. 

 

----------------------

 

"He said that? He said he put Oikawa before all others?" 

"Heard it with my own ears." Hanamaki confirmed. It was the middle of a geography lesson- and okay, no, they weren't meant to be talking, but seriously- Who has time for rules when love is at stake? Not Hanamaki. And apparently definitely not Matsukawa, as he replied, with the volume of one thousand orchestra's, "Oh my God, that's so gay,  I love it."

 The entire class paused, and twenty-odd necks craned around to stare at them.

You could of heard a pin drop in that classroom. You could definitely of heard a small bottle of sparkly pink hand lotion fall out of someone's pocket, which, coincidentally, is exactly what did happen. 

 

The silence prolonged. Slowly with heavy steps, the geography teacher walked over and picked up the tiny bottle before holding it out to Hanamaki. 

 

"I believe this-" he paused, peering at the label "This travel-sized raspberry hand lotion for girls on the go is yours."

Hanamaki went as pink as the bottle. "Um. Thanks, sir. Uh, really appreciate it." I'm going to fucking skin Oikawa. Although he'll probably have even nicer muscles underneath. Damnit! He needs to stop being so attractive all the time!

The geography studied him for a while. "Well, it seems to be working." He announced rather helpfully to the rest of the class. "And, erm, Matsukawa- I realise you do have many opinions on certain things, but perhaps we should concentrate on the oceanic crust. That would be be better, yes?"

"Um, yes." Matsukawa mumbled, and the other kids in the class snickered.  "Sorry."

As soon as he turns away, Matsukawa mouths 'i'm so sorry, man.' to Hanamaki. 

Hanamaki shrugs. He wishes he could be angry, but it's Matsukawa. He can never be anything less than infatuated with him.

 

Um.. Infatuated platonically, of course. Infatuated in a totally non-glittery-pink-hand-lotion way.  

 

-------------------

 

After class, Hanamaki and Matsukawa made a beeline for the gym. 

 

"I feel like everyone is laughing at us." Hanamaki moaned into his hands. "We'll be outcasts! The Quasimodo's of Seijou! I'll be forced to die with nobody but 100% organic hand lotion to love me!"

Matsukawa rolled his eyes. "You're seriously turning into Oikawa." he said. "Calm down, literally nobody is laughing at us. And for God's sake, throw the lotion out if you hate it so much!"

"I'm actually offended you suggested that-"

"Oi." Matsukawa nudged him suddenly. "Look- Iwaizumi's here."

Iwaizumi spotted them the same time they saw him, and he marched over. "Hey, guys. I've been searching for you." he said, before drawing in a deep breath. "We really need to talk. Me and Oik-"

Matsukawa slapped Iwaizumi on the back, and he trailed off, shocked. "Damn right we need to talk!" Matsukawa clamoured. "Man, you know i love you, but you need to get your head in the game."

"Head in the.. what?"

"High school musical? You know, biggest movie of out childhood? No?" Matsukawa tried. "Whatever, doesn't matter. What does matter is you and Oikawa!"

"Me and...." Iwaizumi blinked, confused. "So you know?"

"Know what? No, i'm talking about all the sexual tension between you guys."

Iwaizumi blinked at them once more, before he began to laugh. "Oh... oh, my God." he wheezed between giggles. "Oikawa was right. Oikawa was right! You two are stupid."

Hanamaki frowned, crossing his arms. "Look, man." he began. "I've had a long day, and it's only 11 am. I'm a social outcast now, my entire geography class thinks i use beauty products-"

"-I don't really class hand lotion as a beauty product-" Matsukawa cut in unhelpfully.

"-shut up Issei- And my two friends keep calling me an idiot with literally no reason. So come on, man. Explain it to me. Lay it all on the table." He made exaggerated sweeping movements to illustrate his points. "Just-"

 

"We're dating." Hajime blurted out. "That's it- that's the thing. Me and Tooru, we've been dating for weeks. We keep trying to tell you, but... Well, you change the subject every time."

 

Hanamaki felt his jaw drop. 

 

"No. Way." he heard Matsukawa say. "You guys... dating? Jesus. Now i feel like an idiot."

 

"Yeah." Iwaizumi smiled, before he faltered a little, eyes darting between them nervously. "Hey, uhh... You guys.. don't mind, or anything, right?"

 

"Don't worry about it." Hanamaki smiled- a little softer, a little more sincere. "I'm really happy for you two. We both are."

 

"Thanks. It, uh. It really means a lot. And for what it's worth- I'm happy for you guys as well. Now, uh, i'm gonna go find Tooru. Tell him the good news."

"You do that! Give him a kiss from us!" Mastsukawa called after him. It wasn't until Hanamaki was halfway to his next class that he wondered- "Wait. Why was Iwaizumi happy for us?"

 

-------------------

 

Monday afternoon, Matsukawa and Hanamaki were walking home together. Fallen pink petals dusted their feet and the sun hung lazily in the sky, setting the tips of Mattsun's eyelashes aglow.

 

"Hey." Matsukawa said suddenly, quietly. "So, i guess nobody won the bet, huh?"

 

"Hmm." Hanamaki paused. "I guess not. But since, a lot of work went into it and stuff, i think we can both give one order."

 

"Only one?"

 

Yeah." he hummed, kicking a leaf. "One. You can go first."

 

"Okay." Matsukawa stopped, grinning at him. His blazer collar was lopsided and he had a smudge of chocolate on his chin, and he was the most beautiful thing alive on the planet in that moment. "I want you... to let me kiss you."

 

"Wait." Hanamaki froze. It was as if someone had dumped a million bricks into his backpack. "What?"

"Um." Matsukawa shifted, turning as red as the sunset. "It's okay. I'm sorry, i'll change it, i just-"

"No!" Hanamaki squeaked, before flaring a matching shade. "Don't- don't change it. You can kiss me. Please kiss me."

 

Matsukawa smiled- and there was a small gap between his two front teeth, and the dimple on his chin was the only thing Hanamaki even cared about anymore. His lips were chapped and their noses bumped but it was nice. It was really nice, and he smelt of dandelions and bubblegum. 

"You taste of raspberry." Matsukawa said quietly, finally. "You know... you know you aren't meant to put hand lotion on your face, right?"

"Um." no. "Yes. And it's my turn. And i think... i think i want you to kiss me again." then, in a smaller voice. "I don't think i want you to... ever not kiss me again."

Matsukawa laughs. "I can do that." he says. "I can definitely do that." And then they're kissing again, hands linked tightly together, and Hanamaki hums, closes his eyes, but he can still see the sunlight behind them. 

 

Maybe he's lucky he's such an oblivious idiot, he decides, as the petals drift around them in the wind and all he can feel is Matsukawa.