Subject: friendly reminder
I’m guessing you’re already home, but too tired and cranky to chat over the phone after your flight, which is understandable, since you haven’t been exactly *sleeping* the last two nights (I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not).
It’s not like I even *want to* talk to you over the phone right now, though, and here’s why: Calling each other is brilliant and all, but you can easily slip into talking about nothing (which in our case means The Real Housewives of Orange County or Brody displacing things in your cupboard), whereas writing it all down and seeing it in front of you can actually help you guide your thoughts and get to the point.
It also allows me to watch my mouth (fingers?) and you can’t interrupt me or otherwise distract me this way, even if the picture of you on my nightstand is staring right into my soul. (I’m actually thinking about turning it around so it faces the wall until I’m finished with this - I hope you won’t take it personally).
Anyway, I thought I’d email you, even if we don’t usually do that (email romance is so 1998).
I’ll forever cherish the time we got to spend together during the Wemma wedding extravaganza. I know you’re going to roll your eyes really hard while reading these lines and try and minimize it all again, but quite frankly, it is what it is; I had an amazing time. For the first time since Battery Park I felt *right*. And it was you that made me relax just by standing next to me. You felt right next to me (and on me and under me).
You’re my anchor, ok. Whether it’s by being my friend, manhandling me into a hotel room and riding me into a mattress (strictly platonically), or by sharing a baby cupcake with me (in a very brotherly manner, I’m sure Ryder and Jake lick frosting off of each other’s noses and chins all the time); you keep me grounded.
It’s like when you’re here, things stop and stand still for a moment and I can finally make out all the colours, because without you, they’re all just blurred smudges.
Also, you and me connecting sexually will never be something small or casual. It doesn’t matter how much you try to dismiss it or how many guys with unfairly attractive British accents you date.
When we were dancing during Finn and Rachel’s duet, I remembered this scene from When Harry Met Sally, when they go to a New Year’s party together and Meg Ryan is wearing this fabulous black cocktail dress and they are dancing “cheek to cheek” to Frank Sinatra. They’re having fun and everything is perfect… and then the camera slows down and there’s a close-up of both their faces, and I swear you can PINPOINT the exact moment when they both realise how much potential they have. How scary/incredible it is, that they fit together *so perfectly*.
I guess I’m just waiting for you to feel that way about us again. Because if nothing else, that dance reminded me of the fact that I do.
I really really do, Kurt.
And it honestly is that simple.
So, thank you for the beautiful three days.
And maybe hear from you soon…?
PS. …wasn’t such a *friendly* reminder after all, was it. (I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not.)