“Good morning, Shinichi-kun!”
It takes Shinichi a few moments to realise that he is awake – or rather, that he has just been woken up. He blinks and opens his eyes slowly, realising that he is at least in his own bedroom, but he's pretty sure that voice shouldn't belong here...
“You're finally awake!”
Kouya. Yoshimoto Kouya. Wait a second... why the hell is Yoshimoto Kouya sitting in his bedroom? That's certainly enough to kick Shinichi rudely into full consciousness. With an angry snarl he pulls his bedcovers around himself defensively and backs up against the wall, glaring hatefully at his tutor and snarling.
“What are you doing here?”
“Making sure you're not late for school. Your parents said if anyone could make sure you'd be up and out of bed, it would be me.” Kouya checks his watch theatrically. “If you get up now, I'd say you can probably make it on time... if you run. And we've already established that you can make good time when you're running, no?”
Shinichi doesn't miss that less-than-subtle jab at the decline in his athletic achievements, nor the thinly-veiled reference to the day they first met, when he claimed to have run home after hearing his mother had been hurt – which, of course, he hadn't. His mood sours even more and his expression darkens further, and he goes as if to get out of bed and try to physically shove Kouya out of the door if he has to – but it's about that point that he realises he's completely naked.
“Aren't you going to get up?” Kouya asks seemingly innocently, although the smirk on his face suggests otherwise. “You could probably do with a shower...”
“Get out.” Shinichi growls the command with perhaps more malice than is necessary, a result of his frustration. “My parents might have told you they're fine with you being in here, but I'm not.”
“Hmm, well, that's going to cause problems with your studies.” Kouya pulls a face, then sighs.
“You know what I meant! I don't want you in here first thing in the morning!”
“Not even if I stay over?”
“Sensei...” Shinichi hisses dangerously. “This is my room. My space. Get. Out.”
“The way you keep going on like that, anyone would think you were hiding something.” Kouya's grin widens as he makes a show of looking around the room. “Something you're not telling me, Shinichi?”
“What is the matter with you? Can't you even take a hint?”
“Oh... you're not wearing anything. Is that it?” The tutor glances down on the floor at the clothes Shinichi normally sleeps in. “I thought it would be something a lot more exciting than that.”
Not exciting? Shinichi seethes at Kouya's comment, taking it as a personal affront that his tutor – the man who has made moves on him, the man who continues to torment and provoke him – does not find the idea of his body exciting. How dare he, after what he's already done to it! His cheeks flushing a bright red, he throws the covers back and swings his legs over the edge of the bed, getting to his feet and glaring at Kouya as if in challenge. As with most mornings, his length is semi-erect, but he doesn't try to hide it as he stares down the older man.
“This doesn't excite you?” Despite his obvious anger and shame, Shinichi remains defiant, staring Kouya in the eye as he just stands there for a moment. But Kouya's expression remains impassive and uninterested, until he eventually raises a single eyebrow in an expression of mild disbelief.
“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Kouya's voice is blunt and patronising, heavy with sarcasm and mockery, and he gives a soft laugh. “You really think I haven't seen a teenage boy naked before? You really thought I was going to lose control and pounce on you like a dog who can't control himself? Oh, please, Shinichi-kun – you're even more pathetic than I thought.”
And with that, Kouya gets to his feet and strides the short distance to the door, casting a quick glance back in Shinichi's direction.
“Get some clothes on. You can dress yourself, can't you?”
Then he's out of the door and already making his way down the stairs before Shinichi can even think of a suitably vicious response, leaving the boy feeling utterly furious... and rejected.
Why? Why should Shinichi feel so disappointed and upset by Kouya's reaction to his nakedness? Did he really want the man to make advances on him here and now, with his parents and brother still in the house? It's hardly as though they could have coupled as they did a couple of days ago, but it would have been nice if Kouya had at least acknowledged his desire rather than dismiss Shinichi as a pathetic and needy teenager – because he's not, is he? Not at all! No, he doesn't need Kouya's approval for anything, least of all the way he looks. He keeps telling himself this as he grabs a towel and goes to take a shower, but he cannot help but shake the feeling that he's been snubbed, and it burns even more strongly than his shame.
As Shinichi heads downstairs to use the bathroom he notices Kouya speaking to his father at the bottom of the stairs; overcoming his initial irritation at having been rejected by Kouya, he realises that their conversation is being held in hushed tones, although Shinichi is pretty sure he hears mention of the coming Saturday night and booking a hotel. Ugh, his father disgusts him! No doubt Kouya is helping him to arrange some kind of illicit night with that woman again, and he finds himself yet more annoyed at his tutor for enabling such a thing. Yes, he could tell his mother about it, but she disgusts Shinichi in her own way – she is weak and pathetic, and if she won't do anything about his father's affair, well that's hardly Shinichi's fault, is it?
He continues to brood as he showers and cleans his teeth, and by the time he's made his way back to his bedroom and got dressed there isn't really time for breakfast – not that he cares anyway. But apparently Kouya does, because his tutor is standing by the breakfast table as Shinichi tries to make his way out of the door, arms folded across his chest and a stern look on his face.
“You haven't eaten yet.”
“I'm not hungry.”
“I don't care if you're hungry.” Kouya takes a step closer. “You're going to eat, and that's that.”
“I'll be late. You said so yourself!”
“I'll give you a lift.” Kouya glances over at Shinichi's mother who is still working in the kitchen, although Shinichi has barely even noticed her; she nods at the tutor, indicating her approval. “Now sit down and eat what your mother has prepared for you.”
Shinichi's eyes narrow and he glares hatefully at Kouya, yet more infuriated that his tutor is going to such lengths to take control of his life. Kouya spends so much time marching purposefully around on foot, Shinichi forgets sometimes that the man can actually drive. He is angry too that his mother always seems to go along with whatever plans Kouya has, completely oblivious to the interest which his tutor seems to have in him. An interest which goes far beyond teaching him anything on the school curriculum.
“Fine.” Throwing his bag to the floor, Shinichi sits down heavily and picks up the small bowl of rice and natto which his mother has prepared, trying not to pay attention to the way in which Kouya is studying him. It can be hard for Shinichi to force down food at the best of times, and having the older man staring at him like this really doesn't help; but somehow he manages to finish eating and thanks his mother anyway, although his gratitude sounds cold and mechanical rather than heartfelt and genuine. Still, she at least seems happy that her son has eaten something, and calls her thanks in return after Shinichi and Kouya as they head out of the door.
“There, that wasn't so hard, was it?” Kouya asks as he leads the way towards his car, unlocking it and climbing into the driver's seat.
“You humiliated me in front of my mother!” Shinichi snaps sulkily, getting into the passenger seat and fastening his seatbelt. “You seem to have some kind of obsession with how much I eat, but there was no need for that!”
“Is that was this is about?” The older man continues to talk as he starts to drive, glancing over at Shinichi as he does so. “I made you look bad?”
“You made me feel bad,” Shinichi mutters, turning away to look out out of the window.
“I can fix that.” Kouya smiles to himself. “You already know I can make you feel good, too... if you'll let me.”
“Shut up.” Shinichi tries to cut him off before he can say any more, but Kouya won't be silenced so easily.
“You're still upset about me ignoring you yesterday, aren't you, even though I treated you to dinner.” Kouya keeps his eyes on the road, but he's still smirking. “No, don't even bother trying to deny it – we both know you'd be lying. And now you say you're annoyed with me this morning for showing you up in front of your mother? Well then, how about this.”
The car comes to a brief halt as Kouya pulls up at a set of traffic lights, and he takes the opportunity to turn and look at Shinichi.
“If you're craving my attention so badly, I'll give it to you. All of it. Even if it's only for a short while.” He laughs softly, before his voice takes on a far more serious tone. “I won't come to your house tonight; instead, you come and meet me somewhere else. You remember that abandoned building where Shigeyuki was being bullied?”
“That's not studying! You're propositioning me, trying to get me alone again so you can---”
“I never said it was studying. Besides, it's not like you seem to focus on studying anyway, even when I am there. So, will you say no?”
Shinichi remains silent. After Kouya's behaviour over the past couple of days – his blunt refusal to acknowledge Shinichi's presence yesterday, the way he mocked him this morning – this offer is something unexpected, and Shinichi isn't quite sure how to feel about it. Yes, he does crave Kouya's attention... but he does he want it in this way? Just the two of them, alone and away from everyone else... After all, he was very vocal in his refusal to go back to Kouya's home yesterday. But that had been more sudden, when he'd have had less time to think about it... and less time to plan.
He is saved from having to give an immediate response, however, because at that moment the car pulls up by the school gates, and he wastes no time in unbuckling his seat belt and casting a hateful glance across at Kouya as he opens the door and steps out, excusing himself from the conversation.
“You're not going to thank me for the lift?” Kouya makes a tutting sound as Shinichi walks away. “How rude.”
Shinichi's day at school is one of the slowest he can ever remember. His already-falling grades suffer yet further as he finds his mind wandering again and again towards thoughts of Yoshimoto Kouya, wondering whether he actually will go and meet him later... and knowing, of course, that he will. More than once he pushes aside the attentions of Asuka, his girlfriend, because he's too busy considering what to do about his tutor... about what he's willing to let his tutor do to him...
No. I'm not just a plaything for him to toy with. What happened between us was a mistake. A pleasurable mistake maybe, but a mistake nonetheless. It won't happen again... and this time it's going to be him who has to learn.
By the time the bell rings to signal the end of the day, his mind is made up, and he has a plan. He smiles to himself as he packs his books into his bag, already thinking about how things will happen now. Yoshimoto Kouya may have done his research on Shinichi – far too much research, as far as the boy is concerned – but there's at least one thing his tutor clearly hasn't discovered, and that's the fact that he keeps a spare knife in his locker at school. Having confiscated his other one after their encounter in the abandoned classroom a few days ago, Kouya must be under the impression that Shinichi is now unarmed and incapable of hurting him, but he's going to prove him wrong.
“Do you want to come to the shops with me, Shinichi-kun?” Asuka smiles eagerly, placing a hand on Shinichi's arm. “We're going to go to the bookstore, then maybe that cafe that does the macha parfait...”
“I'm busy.” Shinichi shrugs her arm away. “Go without me. I've got things to do tonight.”
“But you said your tutor doesn't come over until 7...”
“Yeah, but I've got some things to deal with before then.” His irritation is growing; why does she have to be so nosy? “Just go, alright? I'll call you later.”
Asuka's face falls, but she can take a hint. Sighing, she pouts at Shinichi and backs away, although she does seem genuinely hurt by his rejection – not that he even notices.
As Shinichi makes his way along the path towards the warehouse, he finds his hand slipping inside his bag to clutch at the knife which he retrieved from his locker, his fingers closing around the handle, its presence reassuring him and giving him confidence. He smiles to himself, already thinking about what it will feel like to plunge the blade into his tutor's flesh and make the man bleed.
He's wrong. He thinks I don't have what it takes to stab a man, but he's wrong. I hesitated before, but I won't make that mistake again.
Even though he tells himself this multiple times, Shinichi is still shaking slightly by the time he arrives at the abandoned building. He checks his watch – it's just gone five and it's unlike Kouya to be late...
“So you did turn up after all.”
The mere sound of Kouya's voice is enough to cause Shinichi's heartbeat to quicken, his cheeks to flush a deep shade of red as he flinches; he sneers, full of hatred both for his teacher and for himself, detesting the man for being able to second-guess him so easily – and detesting himself for turning up in the first place, even though he has something in mind other than what Kouya seems to have planned for him. He glares at the older man as he steps into view, his expression one of challenge and defiance.
“So what are you going to do to me now, Sensei?” Shinichi can feel himself tensing up, his body reacting to Kouya's presence warily, as if preparing itself for a fight – or something else. “Are you going to take advantage of me again? Now that you've got me alone in the middle of nowhere, are you going to overpower me and use me however you want? That was your plan, wasn't it? Trick me, isolate me, make sure I don't have a way to escape---”
“Shinichi-kun, you're babbling again.” Kouya folds his arms across his chest and smiles, his voice as calm and controlled as if they were merely having a casual conversation in the middle of a coffee shop. “You always talk too much when you're nervous. You think I hadn't noticed?”
Shinichi's response is an angry glare, because he knows that once again his tutor is right.
“As for what's going to happen now, well... I thought I made that clear when I spoke to you this morning.” Kouya's expression hardens, and he returns Shinichi's cold stare with one of his own. “You want my attention. That's why you're here, isn't it? You want some time with me alone – just me, without your brother or your parents getting in the way.”
He takes a step closer.
“Or did you think I'd turn up here wanting your body, only for you to try and turn the tables and attack me where there's nobody else around to see it? Was that the plan?”
Shinichi's eyes widen, and the flush which had risen in his cheeks quickly disappears as the colour drains from his face. How? How? How does Yoshimoto Kouya always seem able to know exactly what he's thinking? He makes a choked sound of frustration, the noise escaping his throat before he is able to stop himself, and that in itself is enough confirmation for Kouya to know that he is right.
“Well, I can't think what else you'd try and do,” Kouya continues. “You're not the type to go spilling your secrets to anyone else – or tell them about your problems. I may have taken your knife away from you but I'm sure a resourceful boy like you has plenty of ways of finding another one. Stealing one, for instance. If a magazine can fit into your bag, so can a pocket knife. Or maybe you took the one from your locker.”
He knew! Of course he knew. Well, knowing is one thing, but defending himself against it is something else entirely. Shinichi's fingers close even more firmly around the knife's handle and in one swift movement he pulls it out of his bag, extending the blade and holding it out towards Kouya.
“Don't you dare touch me!”
“Oh, Shinichi-kun... not this again.” His tutor's face falls in mock disappointment and he shakes his head. “We already know you're not really going to stab me with that. You don't have what it takes.”
“I do now.” Shinichi's hands are shaking, his body trembling as the adrenaline rushes through him. It's true that he couldn't bring himself to harm Kouya the last time he pulled a knife on him, but a lot of things have happened since then. “You've made a mockery of me enough times. Used me. Taken advantage of me. And it won't happen again!”
“I told you I could make you feel good. Don't you think you're being a little ungrateful?” Kouya continues to sound completely calm and unimpressed. “You didn't even thank me for the lift this morning.”
“Stop mocking me!” The fact that the older man is barely even reacting to his anger, or to the knife, makes Shinichi more furious than ever. “Why can't people see it? Why can't people see what you're really like? You trick them and make fun of them, you use them, you toy with them and use them to your advantage and they all like you anyway! Why? Why?”
“You're jealous.” From the way Kouya says it, it's no revelation; he voices it matter-of-factly, perhaps amused that it has taken Shinichi this long to realise it himself. “You're jealous, because you wish you could be the same way.”
“No!” Shinichi hisses, and he jabs at the air towards his tutor. "I'm not like you! I'll never be like you!"
"You already are." And in a few quick seconds Kouya closes the distance between them, easily grabbing hold of Shinichi's arm and twisting until he cries out and drops the knife, pushing him back until he's pressed against the bare concrete wall. “So I suppose the question now is... what do you really want?”
Shinichi gasps and struggles, although he knows by now that Kouya is both bigger and stronger than he is.
"Let... go of me!"
"Not until I make you realise why you're here." Still in control, Kouya takes a firm hold of Shinichi and turns him around, forcing him to face the wall; his voice is stern and commanding, his tone firm. "You fooled yourself into thinking you wanted to attack me, but that's just your denial speaking. You can't cope with the way you really feel."
"I already know how I feel! I hate you..."
"And that's fine." The tutor laughs. "But it's not just hatred, is it? And that's fine too."
"Get off me..."
“Do you want this, Shinichi-kun?” Kouya's voice is a low, dangerous growl, his breathing heavy and laboured. “Tell me you don't, and you can go home and live in denial and try to pretend this never happened. But tell me that you do...”
He leans in even closer, his breath warm against the back of Shinichi's neck.
“...and I promise I won't let you leave here unsatisfied.”
“Why don't you just do it anyway? Why are you even bothering to ask me? You just want to hurt me... to humiliate me...” Shinichi hisses, squirming beneath Kouya's touch, although he already knows that he cannot escape his teacher's strong grasp. “You're just a dirty old man who wants to use me to have his fun...”
“Because if I forced you, where would be the fun in that?” Kouya's voice softens slightly, although his body does not. “I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, Shinichi-kun. But I already know that you want this. You certainly seemed to enjoy it enough the other day.”
Shinichi feels his cheeks flushing a bright red, because it's true. How can he argue with Kouya on this one, knowing that they made such a delicious mess of his sheets, most of it his?
“You ignored me!”
“Shinichi-kun...” Kouya purrs as he murmurs the boy's name, at the same time sliding a hand down to the waistband of Shinichi's trousers, squeezing at his tight buttocks through the fabric. “I'm not ignoring you now, am I...?”
The tutor's hands continue to grope at Shinichi for a few moments more before sliding around to the front of his waist, where he deftly manages to unbuckle the boy's belt; Shinichi gives a token growl of resistance, but as Kouya's fingers brush against the hardness between his legs, he already knows that he can do nothing but submit.
He utters Kouya's title as his tutor eases his trousers down, then his underwear, exposing the bare skin of his backside to the cold air; he shivers, and it's not entirely due to the temperature. He already knows exactly how the other man can make him feel, and much as he has fought against it, he knows there is a part of him which welcomes that pleasure. His cheeks burning with shame, he rests his head against his arm, against the bare concrete wall, and waits to see what Kouya will do next.
There's the sound of the older man rummaging through his bag – Shinichi recognises that noise now – as well as the fumbling of clothing, and he gives a low moan as he realises Kouya has also freed himself from his trousers. Then he gasps as he feels a sudden cold wetness against his skin-
“Hold still, Shinichi!” Kouya mutters, and then his fingers are running over the sensitive skin of Shinichi's entrance, touching and teasing, causing the boy to whine more loudly, until...
“Sensei!” Shinichi cries out as Kouya slides a finger inside him, his skin slick with lube, his tight, hot body accepting the intrusion; he bucks and whines as Kouya slides his finger in and out, slowly at first, letting him adjust to the feel of it. It makes him grow harder than ever, his arousal stiffening and twitching, and he can't help but push back against his tutor's hand, welcoming his touch, welcoming the sensation... but then Kouya pulls his hand away and he whines loudly, ashamed of himself, awash with guilt for wanting more...
"I'm going to have to teach you patience as well, aren't I?" Kouya's voice is warm with amusement, and he chuckles to himself as he takes a hold of Shinichi's buttocks, parting them and shifting his hips forwards to press the hot, smooth head of his length against the boy's opening. "I should make you wait even longer, but... even I get tired of waiting sometimes..."
Shinichi gasps as Kouya enters him, that stab of agony sending his nerve endings aflame, although he knows now that his body will adjust, in time; it's worth enduring the initial discomfort for the eventual pleasure it brings, although it will leave him aching and sore afterwards. He whimpers softly, balling his hands into fists as he tries to will away the pain, biting at his lip while he waits for his muscles to relax and allow the older man to penetrate him further. He's trembling, a combination of nerves and anticipation, caught between whether to wait for Kouya to advance things or whether he should push back and try to take more...
His tutor soon solves that problem for him, easing himself further inside his body, sliding his hips forward to bury another inch inside his student; Kouya is smirking, his expression one of pleased dominance, even though it will take a while longer for him to achieve complete satisfaction. He allows Shinichi's body time to get used to him, feeling the boy's muscles tighten then loosen around him, giving low murmurs of appreciation at sensation.
“Sensei...” It's a plea as well as a sound of enjoyment, Shinichi uttering Kouya's title with an urgency which betrays his apparent reluctance; he pushes back against the older man, bracing himself against the wall as he tries to take him as deep as he can, pushing aside the lingering pain in order to achieve the greatest pleasure he has ever known. “Sensei... please...”
And then shame and guilt are forgotten as Kouya begins to move inside him at a firm and measured pace, filling him only to pull back and push forwards again, jarring his whole body with every thrust as he does his best to stay on his feet and keep pace with his tutor. He braces himself against the wall, his fingers pressing against the cold concrete, his buttocks pushing back against Kouya's hips as the older man starts to work him faster and faster; he can hear Kouya's moans of pleasure now, hungry and loud, his voice smooth and deep as he murmurs Shinichi's name again and again. As Kouya takes hold of Shinichi with one hand, keeping him steady as he pounds into him, his other hand slides around to Shinichi's front, taking a hold of his length and beginning to stroke him with a firm grip.
“Sensei!” Shinichi's cries are getting louder and more frantic now, his self-restraint quickly falling away as he remembers that they're on their own out here with nobody else to hear them, that he can be as loud and as wanton as he likes, that it's only Kouya who will ever know – and Kouya already knows enough damning things about him. He's already close, so close, and he can feel his body winding tighter and tighter, the heat building up between his thighs, Kouya's fingers pumping frantically over his length until he can't hold back any longer...
With a loud cry and the sudden arching of his back Shinichi crashes over the edge, his body shuddering as wave after wave of pleasure washes over him; he bucks forwards, his essence spattering messily against the wall, dribbling down from the head of his length to stain Kouya's hand where it still grips him tightly. It's harder than ever for him to remain on his feet but he does his best, Kouya still pounding into him from behind as he rides out his orgasm, wordless howls escaping his throat, until he all but falls forward against the wall, resting his forehead on one of his hands, whimpering and whining while his legs threaten to collapse from underneath him.
“Sensei...” His voice trails off, his breathing shallow and ragged as he fights to catch his breath. “Sensei...”
Kouya smirks as he feels his student's body trembling beneath him, as he feels the warm, sticky mess trickling down over his fingers. Nothing else gives him pleasure quite like this; nothing else satisfies him like knowing how much he is corrupting Shinichi, how much he is training the boy to hunger for his touch, even if he is too caught up within his self-hatred to realise it yet - and now that Shinichi has had his release Kouya allows himself to work towards his own. His thrusts become more wild, more eager, as he feels the heat gathering within himself; he slams into the younger man's body harder than ever, burying himself again and again, drawing a pained cry from Shinichi's throat every time – but to the boy's credit, he doesn't once tell him to stop. His breathing becomes heavier as he gets closer and closer, the air filled not only with his eager groans but also the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, the sound of Shinichi's moans, until..
His head falls back and he closes his eyes as he meets his own release, shooting his load deep into Shinichi's body, filling him with his essence; the boy whimpers as he feels it, taking it as best he can, pushing back against Kouya as his tutor finishes inside him, gasping and thrusting and moaning until they are both utterly, utterly spent. They stay that way for a few moments, Kouya's length still buried within Shinichi's body where he leans heavily against the bare concrete wall; both of them are breathing heavily, panting and gasping, breathless from their exertions and savouring the delicious feeling of their bodies being so close.
It's Kouya who moves first. With a determined groan he pulls away, letting himself slip out from Shinichi's body and taking a step back, releasing his grip on the boy's own hardness as he does so. Shinichi, on his part, gives a needy whimper as Kouya leaves him, hating the feeling of being left so empty once more – and hating himself for feeling that way. But his whimper soon turns into a lustful groan as his tutors's essence begins to leak from him, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment as he realises his backside has become a creamy, sticky mess.
“Feel better for that, Shinichi-kun?” Kouya smirks down at his student, panting and breathless, a look of smug, self-satisfied pleasure written all over his face. He's already pulling out a packet of tissues from his bag and wiping himself off, tucking himself back into his trousers while Shinichi helplessly whimpers and whines. “That should improve your mood for a short while, at least.”
Shinichi's reply is a growl of annoyance, anger at Kouya for so quickly reverting back to his usual cockiness, and anger at himself for having given in to Kouya again – because there can be no doubt that he has given himself to the man willingly, although his reluctance to admit it remains as strong as ever. He winces as he reaches down to pull his trousers up, using the wall to support himself, already feeling Kouya's essence beginning to trickle down the inside of his leg; his initial reaction is one of disgust, but his repulsion quickly turns to pleasure as he realises the significance of it. Kouya has claimed him... Kouya wanted him... and the presence of his essence clinging to his skin is a reminder of his tutor's desire, of the fact that the man does have an interest in him after all...
"Tissue." Shinichi doesn't even bother saying please as he holds out a hand behind him, towards Kouya. He hides his revelation behind his usual sullen behaviour. "I need to clean up."
"Tch! Still so ungrateful." But Kouya is smiling as he steps forward and places a tissue into Shinichi's hand, at least giving the boy time to clean up and pull up his trousers. "That's probably enough for today."
"Enough for today?" Shinichi almost looks upset, but checks himself in time. Does he actually want to spend more time with Kouya? “What am I supposed to do now?”
“What do you think you do? You go home, and you study, and you answer the questions I ask you when I test you tomorrow.” Kouya grins. “You might want to have a shower first, though...”
“That's not what I meant!”
“No? Then what did you mean?” Again, Kouya raises an eyebrow, apparently looking intrigued. “Don't tell me this is about dinner or flowers again. I don't think even I can afford to take you out for noodles two nights in a row.”
“It's not about flowers!” Shinichi snarls, knowing full well that his tutor is winding him up on purpose, yet falling for it anyway. “It's not about noodles, either! You really think you can just turn up at my house again tomorrow and act as though nothing has happened?”
“You mean you can't?” Kouya's smile widens. “That's very sweet of you, Shinichi. I'm glad that I mean so much.”
“Stop making fun of me!” Shinichi's sudden yell makes even Kouya pause for a moment. “You can't just turn up and... and... do this to me and expect me to act as though nothing is wrong! Like nothing is happening! How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to act like nothing is going on between us when you lure me here and this happens?"
"You could have said no." Kouya shrugs. "We're done here, Shinichi-kun. You should probably go home now."
“What am I supposed to tell my parents?”
“You're a clever boy. I'm sure you'll think of something.” Kouya grins and pats Shinichi on the shoulder. “Tell them we went to the library to study. Tell them I came to meet you at school and we got started early. Tell them the truth for all I care."
"They'd never believe me." Shinichi feels his heart drop as he realises that they really wouldn't. They have more faith in Yoshimoto Kouya than their own son.
"What a shame." The older man pretends to look sad, but instead ends up laughing. "Let me walk you back down to the road, at least. You don't know what kind of predators might be lurking in these woods.”
"Predators like you?"
“See you tomorrow, Shinichi-kun.” With another laugh, a wave, and an infuriatingly genial smile, Yoshimoto Kouya begins casually strolling back down towards the road as if nothing has happened, yet again leaving Shinichi on his own.
With his tutor having finally left, Shinichi collapses against the wall with an angry sob. How many times will he let his tutor get the better of him? Will he ever learn? There can be no doubt that it was always Kouya's intention to take him here like this, and even though he suspected it, he went along with it anyway.
Why? Am I really that attracted to him? I've got a girlfriend! I'm not gay! I've never been attracted to men before... but then again, I've never met a man quite like Yoshimoto Kouya... and that's not even his real name...
His head is full of such thoughts as he begins the walk back down towards the road and back home, wincing slightly at the lingering ache following on from his tutor's eager affections; he's allowed himself to be used and subjugated, but that's not the thing which seems to be bothering him the most. No, it's the fact that Kouya seems to be treating him as little more than a distraction, a plaything on which to take out his desires, and it's with a stab of pain that Shinichi realises that's what hurts him the most.
No. He doesn't mean anything to me. Not in that way.
If he keeps telling himself this, perhaps it might even become true.
But... I want to mean something to him.
He smiles as the seeds of a plan begin to form in his mind.
Because if I can make myself mean something to him... then I can take myself away from him any time I want. I can make him feel pain and loss. I can be in control.
I can win.