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Hakkai was feeling peacefully boneless.
It had been a long day with a truly vicious fight that had left many injuries for him to heal. And when they had finally reached town, secured rooms at an inn, and eaten dinner, it turned out that Gojyo had had his own ideas about what was needed for relaxation at the end of such a day.
Gojyo had practically carried him to the shower afterward and helped him into his pajamas. Now Hakkai's eyelids were drifting closed despite the fetching site of Gojyo perched on the windowsill in nothing but a pair of boxers, smoking what he probably thought of as a well-deserved cigarette. Smoking was a disgusting habit, but Gojyo made it look positively alluring, sucking on the coffin nail with sensuous hunger, blowing
out the smoke with dreamy satisfaction. Suddenly Hakkai's eyelids snapped open.
"Gojyo, stop that! You'll just make it sore again."
Gojyo looked confused for a moment, then sheepishly lowered the hand that had been scratching at the center of his chest. "Sorry ... 's just ... it's hard to believe it's all closed up, ya know? It was so big and messy and ... . " He shrugged, unable to find any more words to describe the hideous wound Hakkai had healed only hours earlier. "And now shit, it doesn't even feel like it's gonna leave any kinda scar. You're gettin' real good at this stuff."
"Well, but that's why I'm lying here liked a dead eel."
Gojyo blew out another cloud of smoke and leered at him. "Heh. That probably ain't the only reason,"
Hakkai smiled indulgently. "Very true."
Gojyo smoked another moment in silence. He seemed to be thinking. When his hand drifted up again and brushed over the scars on his cheek, Hakkai was not terribly surprised his friend's next words.
"What about .. old scars? I mean, could you get rid of ... ?"
Hakkai thought about it. His tired brain wasn't terribly enthusiastic about the subject. "I think ... I'd probably need to open the wounds up again, and get rid of the scar tissue. Then I could probably make them heal properly."
Gojyo wasn't looking at him, but Hakkai could tell he was listening. The whole idea seemed pretty dicey at best, but there were so many other things he could not possibly heal for Gojyo ... . "Would you want me to try that sometime?"
Gojyo's cigarette was no more that a stub. He ground it out on the windowsill near his thigh, then remembered at the last moment and dropped the butt end into the ashtray on the rickety table nearby. He turned his head slowly so that his fingers tangled into his damp crimson hair, dragging a few strands over the scars, and then peered out between the silky threads, his wine-colored eyes catching the light from the bedside lamp. "Heh. Naah, forget about it. My looks are already so special, there's not much point. The girls'd be droppin' dead in the streets ... ."
He lunged for the bed and dove under the covers, grabbing for his lover's warm body. Hakkai laughed, surprised out of the pain that had seized his heart for a moment, and wondered where he was going to get the strength for another round. But Gojyo only seemed interested in snuggling down next to him, wrapping one long leg over both of his and then trailing his fingers down Hakkai's chest to the hideous scar across his gut.
"What about you? Would you wanna fix this up?"
Hakkai opened his mouth, but nothing came out. As his hand covered Gojyo's over the whorled and slick surfaces of his own flesh, pictures drifted across his tired eyes: Gojyo, looking down at him as he lay bandaged in bed, and at his bloody, rain-wet body as it lay by the side of the road. Chin Yisou, a sword in his hand and a manic grin on his gaunt face. And then, though he tried to stop then visions, Kanan: eyes dimming as she died by her own hand, face white as she told him she wouldn't come with him, saying goodbye as he left for school on that last day ... happy to see him after a long day of work, crowned with flowers on a picnic, warm and sleepy and content in his arms in bed, soft and rounded and so many things that the person wrapped around him now wasn't ... .
But he had never remembered those kinder moments until now, with this strong yet vulnerable creature's hand pressing his own palm into the scar that was part of all of them.
"No," said Hakkai, slowly; "I think I'll keep it.