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After the Heyday: Diamonds and Pearls and Pruney Toes

Summary:

for Fan_flashworks challenges: Masks, Elusive or Ephemeral, Introductions and Diamonds and Pearls

Bertie and Jeeves have been an item for oh-so-long and neither can imagine a life apart from each other. What are they willing to do to stay together? What can they overcome?

Warnings: Jeeves gets weepy. Bertie is masterful. Homophobia torments them at home and war looms in the background.

Chapter 1: Jeeves and the Doubts that Assail

Summary:

Bertie and Jeeves continue an ongoing argument over a pair of carpet slippers purchased by Rocky Todd. What will happen when Rocky arrives for an unexpected visit?

Chapter Text

I caught sight of Jeeves’s map one day in an unguarded moment and the scales fell from the e.s. Had I ever seen my man, the real m. behind the mask? Had I ever let him see the real Wooster B? Jeeves had long been the one true fixture of the Wooster heart.  Was I his or had he accepted because of the comforts of our situation? Were these feelings of anxiety real?  Was it the seven year itch?  Or was I merely frightened at the way inverts were being attacked and imprisoned?

I started and dropped a tennis raquet, and he looked up in surprise, then dismay, and then a look of absolute disgust crossed his dial before he started over to me.  A chill ran through Bertram.  What if we fell afoul of each other? What if the mentally negligible bean disgusted him and he only managed to hold back with a hercu-something-or-other effort?

“I, er, should be toddling to the club, Jeeves,” I gasped, then looked down and realized I was still in my pajamas and dressing gown.

He put an arm around me and pressed the lips to my forehead. “You’re trembling. Are you cold? I wish you would stop wearing those revolting carpet slippers.”

“Carpet slippers?”

“Yes, Bertie.  Your toes protrude through the numerous unsightly holes. You always become chilled when you wear them.”

“And that is why you looked so revolted just now?”

The Jeevesian dial was a study in perplexity and consternation. “You know I hate those slippers, my love.” Yes, he did. They had been a present and I had refused to give them up because they reminded me of the giver. Jeeves, because they reminded him of the g. also, had refused to mend them and I had had to trade all sorts of favors to save them from the rag pile.

“And not my mental vacuity, if that is the word I want?”

His jaw dropped open like a nutcracker. “Darling, what are you saying?”

Wooster spilled the beans, all the agonies that had gnawed at the heart like ravening wolves eating timbale de riz de veau Toulousiane.  How could a cove as splendid and handsome and intelligent as Reginald Jeeves really truly love Bertram? He seemed biffed about the bean, then wounded to the core, and then bally pipped and the arm dropped from about the slender corpus, leaving the frame bereft and forlorn. “How could you think such a thing?”

“I caught sight of you just now, so bare and agonized, Reg.  I’ve never spied such an expression on your dial.  And, suddenly all the doubts that assail… er, assailed.”

He shook with the effort of controlling his voice. “Bertram, I know you cannot help these feelings.  But please consider, I have loved you exclusively for nearly ten years, and remained with you, despite the very real dangers of our situation. This breaks my heart.” Wooster welled up and the tears spilled. He wiped at them, trembling with some emotion I could not identify.  Whatever were we going to do? He gathered me against him and murmured something comforting, then he grew serious.  “I know it pains you, as it does me, but we really must make a decision, darling.  We must part or we must flee.”

“I know, Reggie. I wish it were not so.”

“As do I, my love.”

I bathed and dressed and oozed off to the club. As I trickled home, the heart lifted at the thought of seeing Jeeves, and suddenly I realized I could never give him up, that he was more important than everything else.  When I opened the door, the glad cries died on my lips. The grate was cold and empty. No smell of cooking wafted out to greet.  

Worst of all, my battered carpet slippers had been carefully mended and set out near my favorite chair, beside my recent mystery novel. This was ominous. The heart shattered in the Wooster breast. And then a voice arrested me before the tears could flow.

“Bertie!” I found myself engulfed in the manly embrace of Rocky Todd, which put me in mind of years gone by. “I can’t believe you still have those slippers!”

“Rocky, old chap!  It’s been what?”

“Nearly ten years, Bertie.  Imagine my joy on receiving that cable.”  He took in the slippers again and a look like that of a moonstruck bovine emerged from his map.

“Cable?”

“You sly dog, Bertie.  You invited me out for the week while Jeeves was gone to Paris.”  He flapped the missive in my face and planted a juicy kiss on the Wooster lips. I started and apologized.

“Er, Rocky, I, ah. Ten years, is it?”  He apologized.  “Would you like a drink, perhaps?  And then we can dine at my club, if you like. Are your things in the guest room?” He laughed and slapped me on the arm and I recalled, with a shudder, his distaste for evening wear.  “Jeeves left a letter on your pillow.”

I poured Rocky a snifter and ankled in and retrieved the letter.

 

Sir  I apologize for the necessity of leaving before seeing you again, but I imagined that it would be for the best. I took the liberty of inviting Mr. Todd to visit you for some days to ease your loneliness.  If you require a valet, I have left directions at the agency.  Letters can be addressed to me at Junior Ganymede, and I will be able to receive cables at the Moderate  Your servant  R. Jeeves

Be it not said that the Woosters are cowardly.  The heart had shattered and the slivers had been ground to dust, yet I girt the loins and slapped a cheerful smile on the face and crawled out to have dinner and see a show with Rocky and as many other coves as I could gather up.  I could only hope that my duties as a host would not require any entertainment between the sheets, but thankfully Jeeves had hired a hotel room for Rocky

 

I sent a cable from the Drones.

 

Jeeves. STOP What the thingummy do you mean by all this whatsit? STOP Dash it all! STOP BWW.

 

I dropped Rocky off at his hotel after supper and found two telegrams at the flat.

 

Sir, circumstances required my presence. STOP Please do not trouble yourself about me. STOP Your respectful servant. RJ

And

 

Blot. STOP  A foul rumor regarding Jeeves reached me today. STOP He is in danger and must leave England immediately.  STOP Love, Travers.

 

Blast.  Wooster oozed into the bed and sobbed himself to sleep, leaving the mended carpet slippers unheeded by the favorite chair.