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Pushing you away has never made you leave my side

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The times he pushed her away 

 

1 – Time of Angels

There she was in flesh.
Untamed lion's mane.
With all the spoilers, mystery and allure,
Driving him absolutely insane!

He gazes too intently; stares too long
At the undeniable love
sparkling in her eyes.
Ancient yet so young,
she too has seen the star studded skies
But knows too well all the destruction, devastation and death
She sees through him as if he's transparent
Knows the breadth and depth
Of all the pain and sorrow he hoards.


And oh, it could be perfect; he could have his equal in every respect! 
Only River Song is a ghost – she's already dead.
So he tries adamantly to reject
The vigorous pounding in his chest
And tells her he won't be there
Every time she feels like falling out of spaceship
He tries to make it clear as possible
That its merely a one sided relationship
Which he's not invested in.

2 - Big Bang Two

It was a perfect moment for a kiss
a perfect moment full of bliss.

However, it was a perfect moment that he missed
The perfect moment that his hearts dismissed.

"Who are you?"
He knew that all the spoilers had to be his rules

And so he shouldn't have asked,
but he felt so compelled to.

Too soon, she had to run
because all for that day had been said and done.

Alas.
In a split second, the perfect moment was gone

 

3 – Impossible astronaut

Wounded by the betrayal; the audacity they had

To plot and tiptoe behind his back!

Granted, in hindsight, it was rather cruel -

But then, rage and bitterness coursed through bones

And their evasive attitudes was like fuel

To blazing fire.

"Now I love a bad girl me, but trust you?"

He asked scathingly.

She stood tall like a soldier, refused to recoil

though heart breaking, undoubtedly. 

 

4 - Angels take Manhattan

"Well maybe you should go!
Disappear. Please leave!"
At which she stared at him wide eyes in utter disbelief.

"Is that what you want?" She asked.
"To be alone in this sorrow and grief?"

When he didn't respond, she inched closer to caress his face
but he turned away from her immediately.

Loss really was a curse
her once childish husband, had seemed to age decades.

She spent the nights, so close
but infinitely further

And in the days
he shuffled around, numb with the debilitating pain

His wounds raw, fresh and ugly
and words laced with disdain.

She knew
his number one rule

Of course, but did he stop to think
that she was hurting to?

 

Was River Song stupid? Did she not understand?
He was saving her from himself.

She was his salvation, his stars
his love, the one who held his hearts

And he was cancer proliferating
below the surface

He was the greedy monster who deprived her of her family
the darkness and shadows – worst than the enemy.

And she deserved better.

Much better.

With every mean comment
he was pushing her away

But she stood firm and still;
never did sway.

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

 

The times he did not push her away

 

1- The Wedding of River Song

He was being romantic; trying to impress 
he actually even picked out a sparkling green dress 
But River Song just gazed at him the same way as always -  
as long as they spent their seconds, minutes, hours and days  
together, then it did not matter where they go 
and although the words stuck to his tongue  
and he found it infinitely difficult to show 
he was utterly and stupidly in love with River Song!  

 

2 - The Husbands of River Song 


She was like the refreshing summers breeze
she was the passion and soul of the fire 
She was the the roar of the lion
the eye of the storm
and all he wanted more than ever 
was to hold her and never let go ever. 

 

3 - Last day of Darillum 

"Oh wife, won't you please stay?
I can't let you go; not now, not ever
if I did, I fear I'd never survive
all the pain, sorrow and heartache."
He whispered quietly when morning breaks.

She sighed heavily, how far they had come
once upon a time, he'd have escaped and run
just to ignore the grotesque face of time running out
but he was still there by her side 24 years on.