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P.S I Love You

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Robin woke with a start. She’d been asleep, still entwined around Barney’s body when he’d sat up, like he’d torn himself from a nightmare.

“Paul Shaffer!” He shouted into the darkness and Robin relaxed again. It had been a few weeks since the Underneath the Tunes debacle but every so often Barney would still shout out Paul’s name for no apparent reason.

“Barney.” she mumbled, still half asleep. “Paul Shaffer is not going to kick your ass. Neither is Alan Thicke. Well, not again.”

“No, it’s not that.” Barney admitted, despite the fact that his eye still twitched whenever anybody mentioned Alan Thicke or Canada or even once, doughnuts. “It’s that song. I can’t get it out of my head.”

“Huh, I didn’t think it was catchy as Let’s Go To The Mall but it did have a certain little something.”

“What? No.” Barney gave her a look, one that said P.S I Love You didn’t have a little anything. “No.”

“What then?” Robin shrugged, knowing that she wouldn’t be allowed to go back to sleep until Barney had gotten whatever it was off his chest.

“You really felt that strongly about him?”

“It was a just teenage crush.” Robin said, glancing away in embarrassment.

“You wrote him a song.” He pointed out with pout. “You’ve never written me a song.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m not really the song writing type.”

“You were the song writing type when it was Paul Shaffer.” Barney crossed his arms, looking like a child who wanted a toy he couldn’t have. It was a look Robin had learnt to get around. “What if Paul Shaffer suddenly decides he wants a bit of... Robin’s Sparkle?”

“My Sparkle? Ok.” Robin sat up, letting the cover fall away from her bare chest. “Do you really think Paul Shaffer is worthy of this? Come on.”

Barney glanced over her body, still sulking but Robin could see him give in slightly.

“You want a song?” Robin asked, pushing the duvet off them both and onto the floor before straddling him.

She coughed to clear her throat, not even wanting to think about how long it had been since she last tried to sing. “You, you’re beautiful...

She trailed a few kisses over his neck but he still didn’t break. She skipped over the more creepy lines in her head, searching out another sweet one. “I love to watch you sleep. You look so peaceful when you sleep...

She moved her kisses lower, over his chest until he had no choice but to unfold his arms. “I’ll never move on. It will always be you...

His hand came up to tangle in her hair with a sigh of resignation. She kissed down over his abdomen, her mind rewording the lyrics as quickly as she could. “Every guy I’ve been with I was thinking of you...

She paused, her hand wrapping around his cock, her mind shuffling words about until she was satisfied with them. “And when we get married, everyone’ll be second to you...

She hovered with her lips over his head. “I’ve always been waiting for you.

She glanced up, catching his eye and putting on a seductive whisper she hadn’t used in over a decade. “B.S I love you.”

“Aha, I see what you...” Barney started, the words deserting him when the heat of Robin’s mouth engulfed him.