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Another Thread in Clint Barton's Inbox

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From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
look at what tony sent me.
Forwarded content

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Barton, for the thousandth time, stop opening attachments from Stark.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
i'm totally telling tony you think he'd stoop to email viruses. unless you want to buy my silence.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
We have a joint checking account. I'm not sure you're clear on how bribery works.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
who said anything about CASH?

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Ah.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
oh my god.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
What?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
OH MY GOD.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
WHAT?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
tony thinks i'm single.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Didn't the Times call him the defining genius of his generation last week?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
i guess his generation is really oblivious.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
That could be a danger in the field. If you get your paperwork backlog cleared by the end of the day, I might be able to authorize an Avengers-specific situational awareness training module.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
philip james delaware coulson, are you saying i can startle the shit out of tony whenever i want in the name of training?

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
I need: your two most recent after-actions; all the equipment requisition forms you've neglected; the expense reports from 07/15-10/15; your assessments of Probationary Junior Agents Michelle Liebovitz, Nora Duane, and Roberto Langley; vacation requests; an updated HIPAA release; completed requests for R&D (I have several incompletes you're welcome to pick up and finish); and an apology note to Joanne Baldwin, before I can answer that.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
damn, sir.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
By the end of the day, Barton.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
damn, sir.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Oh, look at what I found: Operation Griffon analyses with requests for more detail on your reasons on switching vantage-points, a disciplinary action from Agent Rodrigeuz, three expense reports returned from Financial, and a noise complaint from the staff members quartered next to you in training barracks.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
oh, come on, the screaming was not my fault, i told tasha to knock if you were on campus. on her own head be it.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
The complaint seems to be more focused on the Miranda Lambert album, played at 83 decibels, between 2100 hours and 0300 hours.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
well, that was to cover the other screaming.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Dream on, Barton. There was no screaming.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
there was definitely screaming.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Don't think I won't take the surveillance tapes home just to prove you wrong.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
i'll bring the popcorn. and the flavored lube.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Barton, are you behind this fruit basket delivery?

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
that's alllllllll on tony.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
So I see.
Attachment:
ten-tickles to you both! xxx TONY

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
well. that's...special. hentai jokes, really? i'm ashamed.

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
I've changed my mind. Never mind the paperwork, and I'll backdate the authorization for the SA training.

From: <c.barton@shield.gov>
To: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
i don't say this often enough: i fucking love you and your evil streak. any special requests?

From: <p.coulson@shield.gov>
To: <c.barton@shield.gov>
Try to get him facing the south cameras in Lab 3, we just upgraded, and pick up more orange juice on the way home. SOMEONE finished the carton this morning. I love you too.