Work Text:
Disc: Not my men. I also don't own the Dixie Chicks, or the song Goodbye Earl *g* however, I did do something wacky to the lyrics :-P
NOT FOR HARDCORE KURT FANS!
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Jericho glanced around the small kareoke bar. It was packed, no seating left whatsoever- quite possibly they were breaking firecode, but oh well. He strummed on an accoustic guitar lazily, smiling to Shawn and Marty- who had come to see him play just for the hell of it. "So how many out there know Shawn and Marty?"
There were shouts of happy responses as the two blondes held hands and cuddled together.
"They happen to be some of my best friends. And for awhile, Shawn was stuck in a situation that I was in not too long ago, with a man named Kurt. It took a brave action by Marty to come to Shawn's aid, and that was damn inspiring. Some of you may recognize this song- it's been partially tweeked in honor of Shawn and Marty. So here we go!"
Marty Jannetty and HBK were the best of friends
All through their tag team days
Both members of the Rockers
Both active in the WWF
After the break up Marty went lookin'
for a bright new world
Shawn looked all around this fed
and all he found was Kurt
Well it wasn't two weeks
after he got married that
Shawn started gettin' abused
He put on ankle braces and used a long cane
And medicine to stop the pain
Well he finally got the nerve to file for divorce
He let the law take it from there
But Kurt walked right through the RAW locker room
And put him in the Angle Lock
Right away Marty flew in from Florida
On a red eye midnight flight
He held Shawn's hand as they
worked out a plan
And it didn't take long to decided
That Kurt had to go
Goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Kurt
You're feeling weak
Why don't you lay down
and sleep Kurt
Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp Kurt
The Smackdown officals came for Kurt
They searched the house
high and low
Then they tipped their hats
and said 'Thank You guys
if you hear from him let us know'
Well the weeks went by and
Wrestlemania came and gone
And time came for Summer Slam
And it turns out he was a missing person
who nobody missed at all
So the boys bought some land
and a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell WWE memorabila to fans
they're doing just fine
And they don't
lose any sleep at night 'cause
Kurt had to go
Goodbye Kurt
We need a break
Let's go out to TNA Kurt
We'll go see pyscho Raven
And stuff you in the trunk Kurt
Well is that all right
Good Let's go for a ride Kurt!
Jericho put down his guitar and accepted the praise of his fans and from Shawn and Marty- who were practically beaming. "Oh and uh, I got a postcard from Raven over in TNA the other day, saying thank you to Shawn and Marty for the patriotic new toy they happened to send him." And on that happy note, Jericho jumped down from the stage to leave with the contented couple as the sounds of Kurt screaming in the distance filled the night air. It was more than music to their ears, it was the perfect song to end the night.
FIN.
