"Slide over. I'll drive." Norman leaned into the truck and gave me a kiss.
He put his bag in the back on the truck and opened the door. I got out and we hugged. He held me, kissing the top of my head and holding me with kid gloves. It had been a roller coaster of weeks for me, but he had only been a part of the drama for the past five days. "I'm sorry you cut your trip short." He had been filming for his motorcycle reality show in the south west, but he changed his plans as soon as I had talked to him about my condition.
Norman gave me a squeeze. "Shut it." He was tired of hearing me apologize for pulling him from work. "Right where I should be." He had cleared up his commitments quickly and booked a flight to Georgia as soon as made sense for him to come home. If he had not been away so long, this all would have happened in New York City, but he had so much road time these two months, it was just easier for me to be down south helping Mandy with her wedding plans, helping mom around the house and visiting with my dad. I had flown out a few days to LA last month, and he had surprised me with a whirlwind visit in Georgia for an overnight, but in all honesty I had felt like a single woman these past weeks.
He was loving this trip, all this filming and riding. The friends he was seeing and the places he was going to. When I had realized something was wrong, I didn't want to ruin his happiness, especially if things weren't as serious as I was fearing. I had procrastinated a week and then made a doctor’s appointment. That's when I finally called Norman and told him what was going on.
"Come on, let's get going." He kissed my forehead and walked me around the truck, opening my door and helping me in. "It's gonna be okay." He looked down at his boots when he said it. He climbed in, set the GPS and kissed the back of my hand.
Norman pulled out of the Atlanta airport holding my hand. We were quiet. It was eerie and I couldn't take the silence. We had already talked the topic death over the past three days, there was nothing else to talk about. "Tell me ‘bout New Mexico." He had been riding dun-buggies with some friends.
We talked about the trip, getting sand in every crevice, and how his eyes burned from the dust. It was nothing more than a distraction, but the soothing sound of his raspy voice was the most comforting thing I could have asked for at that moment. "Your folks know?"
I shook my head. I didn't want to worry them over nothing, and if it was something more, then I wanted a plan of action before I dropped the bomb on them. And in all honesty, I don't think I wanted to tell them unless Norman was by my side. "When we know more."
We pulled into the parking lot and I sat as he got out, grabbed his bag, opened my door and swapped me for the bag. I locked the truck and took his hand, we walked into the office building and headed to the second floor, weaving through the muted off-white halls in silence. It was the same color as the DMV, bland and ominous in its own way. He had left his hat in the truck but his eyes were still hurting from the dust so he kept his ray-bans on. When we got to Dr. Elliott's door Norman paused and smiled at me, that half crooked smile that told me he would be by my side no matter what happened beyond that door.
The nurse at the front desk was busy but efficient, Dr. Elliott was a very busy man and getting into to see him on such short notice has been a blessing. She took my insurance information and handed me forms to complete. HIPPA forms that asked who had the right to my information. I listed my love and my parents. Norman had offered to fill things out for me, but I just laughed and reminded him that it needed to be legible. The waiting room was full, people looking at their phones, couples whispering, a woman sitting alone reading a book. No one seemed to look as nervous as I felt in that moment. Norman sat holding my hand as he touched his beard with the other hand, I could tell he was deep in thought but I didn't dare ask what it was about. I didn't want to hear him thinking about this situation, but I also didn't want to know if he wasn't thinking about this situation.
"Holly?" The nurse stood at the door. We got up and followed her to the exam room. She checked my vitals and then told me to disrobe and put on a pale green, paisley printed johnnie. "The doctor will be in shortly." She left us alone.
My brain was spinning. This was getting too real now. For the past two weeks it had just been this thing that filled my head, but now it was this real thing I was going to have to face. I took off my top and my bra and Norman helped me on with the johnnie. "I'm glad your here." Just having him next to me seemed to ease some of my worry.
His lips touched mine. "Always."
Dr. Elliott knocked then came in and introduced himself. We talked a bit about my health history and then he asked, "So you found this lump when you were doing a self-exam?"
"Yes." That was a lie. I had been masturbating in the shower thinking of Norman's hands all over when I felt something odd. That was the last time I had touched myself in such in intimate way. It had been a mood killer.
We talked a while longer then he had me get up on the table and lay back. Norman stood by my side, out of the doctor’s way. Dr. Elliott performed a standard breast exam and the focused his touch on my left breast, in the top right area. He nodded his head as he manipulated my flesh. "Ok." He helped me sit up and he sat down on his rolling stool. "You were right, there is something there to be concerned about." My heart stopped, I wasn't sure I heard anything else he said after that. "Benign...." "Mammogram...." "Ultrasound..." He went on about how he couldn't tell by touch if it was a fluid filled cyst or a more solid mass. I was nodding but I wasn't sure how much of it I was absorbing. "Ms. Carpenter." He got my full attention. "I'm going to have you go to the lab next door and have an ultrasound down right now. This will be the fastest way to see what our next step needs to be.”
The rest of the day was a whirlwind. We went down the hall for the ultrasound, with my volume of flesh, it had been hard to tell right away that it was a fluid filled cyst. But once that was established, I simply had to wait for Dr. Elliott to come in and draw out the fluid with a long needle. Norman and I simply locked eyes when it went into my flesh. "Everything looks fine, but I will have this tested and we will make sure that there is nothing else to be concerned about. If everything is normal, I want you to keep up with self-exams and contact me if you think you find anything out of the ordinary. And I will schedule you back in six months for a follow up mammogram and ultra sound." He had a soothing tone and seemed to be as comforting to Norman as he was to me.
By the time we got home, I was somewhat relieved, exhausted and ready to lay down. My head was pounding, the test results would take a few days to come back, and though Dr. Elliott seemed confident that everything was normal, my brain wasn't ready for that. I needed the final results in my hand.
"Come on babe, let's get you comfy and into bed." Norman looked relieved and I didn't bother to apologize for dragging him home for no reason.
I stopped in the kitchen. "I want t a cup of tea." I needed something warm in me.
"I'll do it." He turned on the stove and put the tea kettle on, then walked me into the bed room and helped me out of my clothes and into a pair of yoga pants and soft t-shirt, he pulled me close. “Mine”. He mumbled this affirmation a few times before he looked me in the eyes. "God I love you." This time he squeezed me tight and I needed that. No more kid gloves, afraid to break me. "When the results come in we will tackle it together." I nodded and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't imagine going through this alone or with anyone else for that matter. We had been through our fair share of drama during our time together, but nothing like this. This was scarier than my jet-lag induced sickness I had weathered in Japan. No one in my family had ever had breast cancer, not that I knew of anyways. If he hadn't been at my side through this, I wasn't sure what I would have done. I was sobbing as he brought me to the bed. The stress of the past two weeks had finally come to a crest. He rocked me for a while, whispering that everything was going to be okay, that he loved me and that I was the strongest woman he knew. I laughed as I was a teary mess of emotions.
The kettle in the kitchen began to whistle and Norman laid me down, pulling a blanket up and kissing my hair. "Be right back." He left to go make my tea.
When I woke later it was dark out, the sun was gone. I didn't know how long I had slept but Norman was in bed with me, playing Candy Crush on his phone. Shirtless and in sleep pants, I don't think he had left my side. "Still stuck on that level?" I chucked and he nodded.
"You needed the sleep." He shut off his phone mid game and pulled me close to him. "Come here, cuddle with me." It was exactly what we needed. At some point he dozed off and his gentle breathing lulled me to sleep. He had shut off all the phone ringers and we spent the night entwined and undisturbed. It was the best night’s sleep I had gotten in weeks.
Two days had passed and Norman was still home, it was quiet and peaceful around our place. Mandy had come over last night and we hot glued rhinestones onto votive holders. Norman even helped for a while. I told her about my little scare and she hugged me tight reminding me to call her when the results came in. The calm around the house was almost odd for us. He cooked and baked me a batch of cookies. Those ones that came in a tube. Well, baked half a tube worth as we ate the half raw. We sat on the deck with cocktails, caught up on some movies we had wanted to see. When the call came in I jumped. It was late in the evening and the caller ID read HealthFirst. Norman held his breath as I pushed the speaker button. "Holly, It's Dr. Elliott. Sorry to call so late, but I figured you’d want the news. All of your results came back clean. Nothing that indicates cancer." He told me he wanted me back in six months for a follow up and wished me a good night.
I pressed the end button and my hands began to shake and Norman caught me just as I began to drop to the floor. I had never felt such fear and relief all in one moment. He rocked me, whispering and kissing me, "Everything is fine Holly. You’re good." He held me close.
By the time we got into bed, I was no longer a mess. My tears were gone, my body was my own again. "Make love to me baby, I need you so much." This time it was him who looked relieved. This was the first time in days his eyes didn't seem to be hiding stress and concern. He nodded. He needed to be with me as much as I needed him. It was slow, or at least it started that way. He caressed my skin and rubbed my shoulders, leaving trails of kisses on my skin. His beard dragging on my flesh making me tingle. His breath ghosted over me and I could tell he needed to be touched back. I turned and faced him, rubbing my hands down his chest, along his ribs and down to his hips. Finally I kissed him and wrapped my hand around the shaft of his hard dick. He was ready. It had been weeks since we had been together. This was the first time I had been in the right frame of mind since he had gotten home.
I needed him, I needed to escape these fears that were swirling in my brain. The thought of cancer had consumed me for the past two weeks. Not just cancer in me but Norman as well, all that smoking wasn't good and we both knew it. The news from the doctor was the best thing I could have asked for but something in my gut was still off. I was going to need time to get through all this. I stroked him and he made a sound, something close to a whimper. It made me smile. He still craved my touch as much as I did his. "Lay down baby, gonna worship you for a while." He smirked when he said it, his blue eyes filled with lust. I loved his form of worship. I laid back and he knelt down next to the bed. He let me get comfortable then he spread me wide and slowly kissed his way between my legs. Teasing bites and long deep sucking, leaving bruises as he went. Marking me in a way. He started to hum a little something I didn't recognize just as he reached my core. Tongue first he made contact and I hissed out his name as my back arched. The man has skills. Not just as an actor, artist, photographer and bike guy. He has skills when it comes to eating pussy. Skills, from the first time he went down on me. Most men struggle to figure out what a woman likes, trying this and that. Not Norman. He just knows. He goes at it with enthusiasm, never making a woman feel self-conscious and always in it for the long haul. I had noticed that with Jessie and Gael as well. He does it because he enjoys it.
He edged me close to an orgasm and shied off, edging again then pulling back. The sweet torture of it all. "Did you wanna cum babe?"
I didn't know what I wanted. My brain was spinning as he brought me close and then back again. He asked again, well, more like moaned out a 'hmmm?' before he went back to licking and sucking.
It took a moment for me to formulate a thought. "Anything. Anything you want Norman." I wanted to be lost in him. “I want out of my head.”
The dark haired angle played a little while longer then kissed his way up my body, between my breasts and to my lips. I tasted my flavor on his skin. "Wanna make you feel good." I knew it had been a while since he had gotten off, but he was still being so perfectly… Norman. Acting as if he wanted to do more than just fuck till he came. He worked himself into me, slowly, teasingly edging inside me till I pushed down on him. He whispered dirty things in my ear. Telling me how good I felt and how he wanted to take me. Then he was lost in the feeling. My short nails digging into his back and mouth on his collar bone as he gripped my hair. Occasionally he would ease up, back off from his own enjoyment as he worked on mine.
It was all amazing but I couldn’t seem to cum. No matter how hard he tried, my brain just wasn’t in the right place. I couldn’t get lost enough to enjoy it all. I begged him to cum, I wanted him to have that release, and he had been so stressed the past week with me. Not having an orgasm wasn’t unheard of for me especially when my thoughts were so scattered.
“Love you Norman.” I kissed his chest as he held me close. “Hold me.” He gripped tighter and rocked me to sleep.