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Our Start From The End

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“I do care Klark.  But I made this choice with my head and not my heart.  The duty to protect my people comes first.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry Klark.  The deal is done.  May we meet again.”

 

Clarke wakes with a start on the cold hard forest ground.  She wipes the tears from her cheeks as she picks herself up.  It has been just over two weeks since she walked away from her people.  Just over two weeks since her mate betrayed her and left the Sky People to die.  Clarke scoffs at the word mate.  Can she even call the Lexa her mate anymore?

“You still wear her bite mark.  So yes technically she is still your mate” a familiar voice says.

Clarke lifts her head and finds Wells smiling at her.  She begins walking with no real destination in mind.  She only makes it a few steps before the dizziness hits her.  A harsh reminder she hasn’t eaten in two days.  Clarke leans against a tree, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath.  She waits for the dizziness to pass before she pushes off the tree and begins walking again.  Wells walks beside her not even trying to hide the concerned look on his face.

“You’re dead.  You’re not real.  Why are you here?”

“I’m worried about you Clarke.”

“Don’t be, I’m fine.”

“Sure you are.  You’re not eating, not sleeping, and you’re talking to dead people.  Yeah Clarke you are perfectly fine.  My bad.  You are the definition of sanity.”

Clarke huffs “I don’t remember you being this sarcastic in real life.”

Wells shrugs “I’ve picked up a few things.”

“Please go away Wells.  I just want to be alone right now.”

“Fine I’ll go but you should find food and shelter Clarke.  Otherwise you won’t survive out here much longer.”

Wells’s body fades until it disappears leaving Clarke alone once again.  She wanders the rest of the day only stopping to pick berries and nuts.  Every muscle and bone in her body aches.  Her stomach screams at her to find and eat a full meal.  Clarke ignores it all and continues her journey through the woods.

It takes another day for Clarke to find a cave.  She cautiously searches it to make sure another animal hasn’t already made it its home.  She is relieved when the cave proves to be completely empty.  Clarke heads back out into the woods and sets up a makeshift animal trap.  When that is finished, she heads back into the cave and starts a fire.

Clarke slides down the cave wall as a wave of exhaustion hits her full force.  She watches the flame dance in front of her.  Hopefully by tomorrow morning she will have an animal to roast over it.  Clarke pulls berries and nuts from her jacket pockets and sets them down in front of her.  She takes a deep breath, filling her nose with hers and Lexa’s combined scents.  Clarke’s eyes water and her anger spikes.  She tears off her jacket and slams in on the cave floor.  Angrily she takes another deep breath and wipes away her tears.  The combined scents hit her again and she raises her fingers to the source.  She runs her fingers down the left side of her neck and over the raised bite mark marking her as Lexa’s.

Clarke felt an instant attraction to the Alpha from the first moment they met.  That attraction only grew as they spent more time together.  It took a brush with death at the hands of a giant gorilla for Lexa to admit her feeling for Clarke.  Not long after the Alpha and Omega were mated.  For the first time in Clarke’s life, she went through her heat without taking suppressants.    She spent two glorious days in Lexa’s warm soft furs.  The Alpha put the Omega’s needs first.  She was rough when Clarke wanted her to be rough and gentle when Clarke wanted her to be gentle.  Every second of it was amazing and Clarke swore she would never take suppressants again.  The Trikru and Sky People accepted their relationship for the most part.  Her mother didn’t understand it at all but was happy that Clarke was happy.  Raven was not thrilled after Finn’s death which she blamed Lexa for.  Luckily Clarke and Raven remained friends, with an understanding that they would avoid the topic of Clarke mating with the Commander.  Bellamy didn’t trust Lexa at all, but like Abby he just wanted Clarke to be happy.  In the end his concern turned out to be right.  Clarke regrets not listening more to the Alpha that has become like a big brother to her.

Images of a blood soaked Lexa flash in Clarke’s mind.  I made this choice with my head not my heart.  I’m sorry Klark.  Clarke lets out a frustrated growl.  She unlaces her boots and slips them off her feet before throwing them across the cave.  They smack the wall with a bang that echoes throughout the cave.  A sighs escapes Clarke’s lips as she runs her fingers through her hair.  How did everything go to shit so fast?  TonDC was close to being completely destroyed, her mate betrayed her, and Clarke was forced to commit genocide to save her people.  Every night Clarke dreams of the betrayal and burned bodies.  Every night the images haunt her.  During the day the dead haunt her and follow her around.

Clarke’s hatred for Lexa burns in her gut.  There is a painful hole in her heart that won’t close.  Walking around with their combined scents does nothing to help.  Clarke runs her fingers over the mating bite again and wipes away the fresh tears that begin to fall.  She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to stop herself from crying.  Love is weakness.  Clarke’s eyes snap open and the tears stop.

“Clarke no” Wells says as he suddenly appears by her side.

“She was right all along Wells.  Love is weakness.”

Wells shakes his head “No it’s not Clarke.  You don’t have to do this.”

“I have to Wells.  Her scent is mixed with mine.  A painful reminder of her betrayal that follows me around everywhere I go.  I can’t escape it.”

“Clarke you are angry and you are hurt.  Don’t make the decision now.  Have a decent meal.  Sleep a little.  Give it time and then decide.”

“Go away Wells.  You’re not real.  I’ve made up my mind.  Go away, leave me alone, and don’t come back.”

“Clarke please…”

“GO!” Clarke roars.

Wells nods and slowly fades away.  Clarke blows out a shaky breath trying to prepare herself for what she is about to do.  She closes her eyes and begins to concentrate.  The pain in her chest slowly begins to build.  Clarke tries to take a deep breath but it does nothing to help.  The pain builds and builds until it becomes almost unbearable.  The Omega lets out a painful gasp and almost loses her concentration.  Somehow she manages to keep pushing on.  The left side of Clarke’s neck begins to tingle and burn.  The burning on the side of her neck and the pain in her chest intensifies until it reaches its peak.  Clarke releases a painful sob and her stomach turns.  She is barely able to scramble to the mouth of the cave before she vomits. 

The pain and burning die down to a dull throb.  Clarke crawls back to the fire and returns to her seat against the cave wall.  She lifts her fingers to run over the left side of her neck and finds nothing but smooth skin.  She suddenly clutches her chest, feeling like her heart is splitting in two.  Clarke can do nothing to stop the sob the escapes her lips and the flow of tears that run down her cheeks.  An intense feeling of pain and emptiness fills Clarke’s body from head to toe.  She curls into a ball on the cold cave floor and cries harder than she has ever cried before until everything goes black.