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Boys who Talk Shit™

Chapter Text

“Okay, I’m like, 75% sure that this is not going to explode on us.” Taehyung says, bright smile plastered on his face.

Hoseok hums, eyeing him cautiously. “I’m a bit worried about the remaining 25%.”

“This looks like,” Namjoon says, trying not to grimace at the ugly concoction sitting in the pot, “- something we can use to summon ten demons. This can’t end well.”

“It’s more likely for this thing to explode, set the entire world on fire, be the cause of the apocalypse, for us to get flung all the way into outer space, and have to sit in space jail together, than for this not to explode.” Jimin says, pinching his nose to block out the god awful smell.

Taehyung waves a hand, shaking his head, uselessly and ineffectively trying to assure his friends their safety. “Jimbles, dearest Jimbles, fellow child of the sunflower Gods and my BFFL biffle sushi roll, what kind of friend would you be if you didn’t trust me?”

“Considering the fact we’re talking about you, it makes him a fucking smart one.” Jungkook says.

Taehyung pouts at the tall boy standing beside him. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I’m hopelessly in love with you and all, but if it’s your name and cooking in one sentence, I will never be on that side.” Jungkook says factually as if he hadn’t just broken his boyfriend’s fragile heart.

“What’s happening here?” Seokjin asks as a greeting, swinging the door open, grocery bags in hand. His facial expression instantly turns into one of pure disgust after he smells the room. “I told you guys, if you’re going to commit murder, don’t leave the bodies in the dorm! Who was it?! I will not tolerate murder in this home!”

Jimin turns his head and gives him a miserable look. “We made a bet and Taehyung said if he won, we have to give him cooking rights and I can’t believe I have to sit in space jail with all of you.”

The grocery bags drop to the floor. “That’s worse.”

It had been about a year and a half since they had started living together. BTS Boarding School wasn’t exactly your regular school. If it had to be summarized, many would say, it was an all-boys school cut off from the rest of civilization, populated by eccentric art prodigies. “You can’t trust people from that school. They’re geniuses with brains like no other, but they’re a bit messed up in the head. Don’t you know what BTS stands for? It’s Boys who Talk Shit™.”

“Hyung, I heard they’re taking in a new student this year.” Jungkook says, legs resting on Taehyung’s lap.

Seokjin’s eyebrows raise in interest. “New student? What could possibly be wrong with this one?”

“Nothing’s wrong with this one.” Namjoon said, pouring the rest of Taehyung’s inedible creation down the drain, giving Seokjin a pointed look. “I heard from one of the hyungs that he’s really talented. Won a song writing competition a few months back. That’s why he wants to go here.”

Hoseok mindlessly taps his fingers on the coffee table. “What if he ends up rooming with us?”

“Don’t think so.” Jungkook sighs, shaking his head. “But regardless of where he stays, he’s still a poor clueless son of a bitch. No idea what he’s about to get himself into.”

“Hey,” Jimin says, after finishing his third glass of water to get the gross taste out of his mouth. “Better with us than anyone else in this Home of the Crazies.”

“Honestly?” Seokjin says, “Better with anyone else in this Home of the Crazies than us.”



“So,” Mr. Bang Si Hyuk says, “I’m hoping you’re going to enjoy your stay in BTS Boarding School?”

“Believe me,” Yoongi says under his breath, “I hope so too.”

No one believed Yoongi when he’d told them that he wanted to transfer to BTS Boarding School after two years of staying in one of the top universities in Seoul, YG University. Almost everyone who’d ever stepped foot in BTS, were brought there by force and stayed because, well, where the fuck else did they have to go now that they’d been tainted? One way in, no way out except graduation.

“What made you want to go to this school, Mr. Min?” The school principal asks, as they make their way down the corridors. “I’m sorry, but it’s just…”

“Just an escape from the dullness and normalcy of my daily life. Parents are getting too stressful and people are getting exhausting. I feel like I’m going insane. Might as well go here.” Yoongi said, chuckling lightly. “Why, am I the first student who wasn’t dragged here kicking and screaming?”

The principal laughs at this, turning his head to smile at Yoongi. “Not exactly, but you know what? You just gave me an idea of which dorm to put you in.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows raise. “Hmm. I see you’ve classified me into a group of whackjobs already. Okay, let’s hear it.”

Mr. Si Hyuk can only shake his head in amusement. “There are six of them, they have joint rooms. There’s three of them in each, but it’s two big dorms put together, I’m sure they have lots of room. Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. I think it’s best to put you in a room close to Namjoon and Seokjin’s first, Taehyung might be a tad bit too much for a new student.”

Yoongi hums in acknowledgement. “Are all the rooms this populated?”

Mr. Si Hyuk hesitates for a moment, before he shakes his head no. “Just them.”

“Why the special treatment?” Yoongi asks, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“They’d pretty much bribed me into it, telling me that if I wouldn’t let them, they’d feed me Taehyung’s cooking.” He answers, a grimace on his face. “Hell would be better, I’m telling you.”

“Taehyung’s… cooking .” Yoongi confirms. “A student’s cooking got you to get them what they want.”

“Well, that and the fact that they’re the top students in this school.” He shrugs.

Yoongi nearly chokes on his spit. “So you’re saying… you’re putting me on top of the food chain. The Whackjob Supremes. Kings of this Hellhole. You’re telling me, I’m going to live with these people for the rest of my stay in this university.”

Mr. Si Hyuk shrugs, making a small noise of discomfort. “Well, if you put it that way… yes.”

Yoongi turns his head and blinks at the man. “You’re my principal and all, but first of all, what the hell. Second of all, why the hell. Third of all, you have to be kidding me.”

Mr. Si Hyuk chuckles, raising a hand to give Yoongi’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “I know this school has quite a reputation, Mr. Min. But I can promise you, those six kids, are the smartest and most kind-hearted ones I know both inside and outside this school. They're very close-knitted and I'm sure they'll be very welcoming.”

Yoongi sighs. “Anything important I need to know before you give me my room keys and send me off to a place of war and bloodshed?”

Mr. Si Hyuk looks like he’s thinking it over for a half a minute, before he grabs Yoongi’s hand and places rusty looking keys in it. “The rest, I think it’ll be better if you find it all out for yourself.”

Yoongi gulps. “What do you mean?”

Mr. Si Hyuk shrugs. “Good luck, son.”

“Good luck?” Yoongi whispers to himself, when the principal turns his back on him and walks away. “Good.. good luck?”

He turns around and is met with twin doors, one reading ‘211’, the one next to it reading ‘212’.

He’s about to raise his hand to knock on the door of the first room, but alas;

“Jeon Jungkook, your pet spider just escaped from it’s damn habitat and is out to get us!” He hears a low voice scream frantically.

“Which one?!”

Which one?

Yoongi drops his hand. Maybe next time. Preferably, in the next life.



“Jihoonie, I’m not fucking around here!” Yoongi half screams half whispers into the phone, his other hand gripping onto the handle of his luggage. “One of my soon to be roommates has a fucking pet spider. Oh wait, no. No, no, no . Pet spiders ! With an s! Plural!”

“Hyung,” Jihoon says tiredly on the other end of the line, “You’re the one who told everyone you wanted to go to that school. You knew what you were getting yourself into.”

“This was not the level of whackjob I wanted to live with.” Yoongi sighed, dropping to the floor, frustratedly pulling on his hair with his free hand. “Anyway, I’m right outside the dorm room right now. Can’t bring myself to go in. It’s been about ten minutes, and from what I can hear, they’re still looking for the damn spider. Fucking. Pet. Spider.”

“Maybe you’re overreacting, hyung.” Jihoon tries to comfort his hysterical older brother, “Maybe it’s not a pet. Maybe it was just… lurking around their room.”

“They’re calling him Taekookie, Jihoon. He named the spider. He named it.” Yoongi moans.

There’s a small silence before Jihoon clicks his tongue. “Welp. I’m gonna go get my rosary. I’m hanging up, hyung. I’ll pray for you everyday.”

“Jihoon, wait-”

The line goes dead and Yoongi nearly screams.

“Uh-” He hears someone from above him, and when he looks up, he’s met with a shirtless boy, not much taller than himself, broom in hand, opening the door slightly before hurriedly closing it behind him to block out the noise. “You okay over there?”

Oh. Yoongi thinks. Guess he really did scream.

“Oh, uh,” Yoongi says, hoisting himself up, hurriedly shoving his phone into his back pocket. “Hey, sorry, uh, momentary mental breakdown, was counting down to my demise but I’m good now.”

“Ah,” The boy says, smiling a bit, “I get the feel. You’re the new student we were told about? Min Yoongi? Junior?”

Yoongi nods. “And you’re… my new roommate.”

“Seokjin, but you can call me Jin hyung. A senior.” The boy says, raising his free hand for him to shake. “Wow, didn’t expect you to actually room with us.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Should I be… concerned that I am?”

Seokjin shakes his head hurriedly. “Don’t wanna say anything too weird about them on your first day. If you’re willing to now, then come on in.”

Yoongi takes a deep breath and tries to prepare himself to meet the rest of them, thinking that hey , this dude didn’t really seem so bad, maybe the rest of them weren’t either.

But once the door opens, he’s met with chaos that no regular human could’ve ever prepared themselves for. Seokjin sighs, looking at the sight in front of them as if it were an everyday thing.

“This is what it’s like everyday.” Seokjin explains, giving Yoongi a side glance. “But don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

“Somehow,” Yoongi gulps, “-after hearing all the chaos over a pet spider, I’m not surprised.”

Seokjin ignores this comment and raises a finger to point at a tall but baby-faced boy, standing on top of a stool, a vacuum in his hand, raised and pointed to a corner of their ceiling.

“That one’s Jeon Jungkook, a freshman and our newest addition to the dorm before you. He owns Taekookie, the pet spider who went missing just a few minutes ago. He has three others. Moonie, Chim and Joonjin.”

“Jungkookie!” Seokjin calls softly, patting the boy’s leg lightly, grabbing his attention. “New dormmate. Min Yoongi. Junior.”

Jungkook acknowledges him with wide eyes and a bright smile. “Hi, new hyung!” He says, before turning his attention back to the vacuum.

“What are you doing... exactly?” Yoongi can’t help but ask.

“Sorry, m’busy catching fruit flies, for the sake of dorm peace.” Jungkook says, “Anyway, glad you noticed.”

“Christ.” Yoongi breathes out.

Seokjin nodded his head. “Honestly? Same.” He then turns his head and motions to the tall boy with glasses sitting on the couch, focused on a book.

“That’s Kim Namjoon, a Junior. Top student of this school. You don’t need to concern yourself with him. He’s harmless compared to the younger kids. Just… just try to remember that he’s not allowed to touch any sharp objects in this house, okay?”

Yoongi cocks his head. “Why exactly?”

“Let’s just say…” Seokjin says, trying to think of how to say it in a less terrifying way, “Hobi’s left toe will never be the same.”

“Hey, babe!” Seokjin calls out, Namjoon raising his head. “Care to tell our new roomie about how you almost killed Jung Hoseok?”

“Killed is a big word. Hello, new roommate. Min Yoongi, right?” Namjoon says, before turning his attention back to Seokjin. “And don’t use me to scare the new student! That’s what we have Taehyung and Jimin for!”

Yoongi momentarily loses his breath and rethinks every single decision that has led him to this point of his life. “Christ.”

Seokjin nods again. “Same. Anyway,” He motions to a boy focused on the TV, screaming something about “ Okay, but that’s like, the fourteenth demon summoning this week, holy shit!

“That one is Jung Hoseok, a Junior, has a blackhole as a mouth. He’s cool, just very, very loud.” At this, Seokjin drags Yoongi by the wrist and leads him to a desk at the side of the room. He hurriedly fishes for something in the depths of the drawer and hands Yoongi a pair of earplugs.

Yoongi blinks at it. “Is this really necessary?”

Seokjin pats him on the back. “You’re about to live with Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin. Believe me, you’ll be on your knees thanking me later.”

“Taehyung and Jimin?” Yoongi asks. Seokjin’s about to open his mouth, but before he could speak, Yoongi raises a hand to stop him.

“You know what? I’m too scared to find out. Don’t tell me anything. You can stop right there.”

Seokjin gives him a sympathetic look. “Did Sir Bang tell you about us bribing him into letting us all room together?”

Yoongi’s about to deny this, but curiosity gets the best of him. “How can anyone’s cooking be that bad?”

That’s when Seokjin motions with his finger for Yoongi to come with him and he opens a screen door at the back very slightly, and he sees a boy, bangs covering up to right above his eyelids, crouched down, doing the laundry, saying something that sounded like “ I understand that, Princess Peach. But what is this about a dragon?

Yoongi slowly turns his head to look at Seokjin. “I need the context.”

“He just likes talking to himself sometimes. It’s usually stuff like that. I can’t explain. No one can.” Seokjin whispers, slowly closing the door again. “Kim Taehyung, call him Tae. A sophomore. That’s all I can say. I don’t know what to say about him. The boy leaves me speechless. I’m not sure how anyone like him can exist, but it’s true. He does. A wonderfully weird kid, that one. You’ll love him.”

“Are you sure?” Yoongi asks, making a face.

“Positive. Sort of.” Seokjin says, waving a hand. “Anyway, there’s one more… I think he’s in his room.”

“Hyung, don’t go in without knocking again!” Hoseok calls out, momentarily turning his attention from the TV screen to them. “God knows what he could be doing in there this time. That will not look pretty for a new student.”

“Ah, yes.” Seokjin says. “Keep that in mind, Yoongi. If the bedroom door is closed, you better knock. Don’t just enter. Don’t do it. Don’t do it if you value your life and your mental health.”

“The brain bleach had been required last time.” Taehyung added, entering the dorm, patting himself off. “Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung, but I prefer to be called Shemeneme Naka Nemete.”


Seokjin raises a finger to Yoongi’s lips. “If you’re not prepared to hear the explanation, don’t ask. Anyway, let’s introduce you to Jimin, shall we?”

Seokjin knocks thrice and they’re answered with a sweet voice calling out “ You may enter!” And when Seokjin swings the door open, Yoongi didn’t expect to be met by a boy sitting on a bed, laptop perched on his lap, the boy clad in nothing but black boxers.

And he smiles. This… god awful cute smile that made his eyes disappear and he stands up, setting his laptop down. “You’re rooming with us?”

“We have the same smile.” Yoongi says before he can stop himself.

Both Seokjin and Jimin raise their eyebrows at him and Yoongi stutters a bit.

“What I mean is… my eyes disappear when I smile too. Don’t take it as an insult though, it’s-”

Jimin shakes his head and chuckles. “Don’t worry. I think it’s one of my charms. Yours too.”

Seokjin claps both of them on the back. “Min Yoongi, Junior, new kid. Park Jimin, sophomore, muscle pig.”

Jimin smiles. “Nice to meet you, hyung! I think we’ll get along just fine!”

Yoongi’s about to smile back and say that he thought so too, before Seokjin had to go ahead and say “Should we tell him about that time you tried to walk the spiders and half the building evacuated?”

“One time, hyung!” Jimin screams, “One fucking time!”


Once Seokjin shows Yoongi to his new room, he’s tempted to lock himself in there and never come out. Meeting six boys unlike any other human he’s ever met in his time in this Earth was a little bit too much to take in one afternoon.

But Yoongi checks the clock on his bedside table and reads 11:47 pm. It was his first day of actual class tomorrow and he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. All he’d done was nap, in fear of having to eat dinner with the others. Who knew what kind of food they liked to eat? It was an irrational fear, but they had four pet spiders, Yoongi didn’t know what to expect anymore.

He sighs to himself and decides he’s not going to attend class tomorrow with an empty stomach. He groans, sitting up from his bed and tousling his hair a bit. He looks down and wonders for a second, if it was too much for him to be going out shirtless on his first day living with them but he recalls how two people (namely, Jin and Jimin) had been shirtless on their first meeting so Yoongi decides it’s probably cool between men anyway.

He yawns and stretches like a creature of the night, opening the door and being met with almost complete darkness. The other six had gone back to their own rooms, Yoongi could still hear the sound of TVs, video games, bickering.

He reaches out blindly for a mug and looks for coffee mix, sugar, anything to drink, but realizes he never did get to ask Seokjin where anything in the kitchen was. He sighs.

He stares at the half opened door to Seokjin and Namjoon’s room and he slowly makes his way to it, pushing it open. He’s met with the two cuddling in bed, watching what seemed to be Lion King.

Yoongi realizes he’s heard Seokjin call Namjoon “babe” just a few hours ago, but he didn’t know they were actually… well, like this .

“Uh, hyung,” Yoongi coughs awkwardly. “Sorry, if I’m disturbing anything-”

“Oh, no, not at all.” Seokjin says, hoisting himself up, giving Namjoon a short peck on the lips saying ‘ be right back, babe ’ before walking to Yoongi. “What’s up?”

Yoongi tries not to act shocked when he asks. “U-uh, just… The sugar. I don’t know where the sugar is.”

“Oh,” Seokjin chuckles, “Sorry, forgot to show you around the kitchen. I usually handle all that stuff. So if you want anything, coffee, hot chocolate, food, anything at all, just tell me. But, if you want to do it yourself this time, go ahead. It’s at the third cabinet from the left. Bottom shelf.”

Yoongi gulps and nods. “Thanks, hyung. I’m good.”

Seokjin smiles before closing the door.

Yoongi’s never had an issue with gay people, not at all. But he didn’t really see that one coming. He cocks his head. He had to admit, they did look pretty cute together though.

As he makes his way back to the kitchen, he’s met with Taehyung and Jungkook sticking their heads out of their shared room.

“Hyung!” Taehyung calls out, louder than Yoongi deemed necessary in any given situation that did not involve torture or murder.

“What the-” Yoongi lets out a long sigh and clutches his chest. “Jesus. I almost shit my pants. What?”

“You have condoms?” Taehyung asks, quietly this time. “Ran out. Don’t really wanna fuck without them.”

Yoongi blinks at the two of them, realizing neither of them had shirts on and their hair looked anything but fixed. “You two…” He asks, motioning to them both with his finger.

Jungkook nods. “Since I was fifteen, actually.”

Yoongi sighs again, closing his eyes, doing his best to take everything in all at once. “Wow. Wow, that’s nice. Uh, no, I don’t, actually. Go ask Jin hyung.”

Taehyung shrugs and walks out the room butt naked, boner up in all its glory.

“Preferably, with clothes.” Yoongi groans, shielding his eyes and turning away.

He reaches up to grab the sugar and as he sets it on the table, he sees Jimin making his way to the kitchen as well, flashing Yoongi a smile, before taking a glass. “You alright? You look a bit… overwhelmed.”

Jimin's eyes trail down Yoongi's bare torso but Yoongi doesn't really notice because, well, he may have been doing the same thing because, really? Wow.  

“Yeah, yeah, I’m..” Yoongi says, carefully opening the lid. “Just… long day. Really, really fucking long day.”

Jimin chuckles, downing a glass of water before making his way behind Yoongi, grabbing his shoulders and softly kneading them.

Yoongi stiffens for a moment, not used to such physical affection after just meeting, but he relaxes anyway and sighs. “Thanks.”

“I know we’re a bit much,” Jimin says, voice strangely low, “- but don’t worry. We don’t bite.”

“If you don’t ask us to!” Hoseok suddenly adds, seemingly appearing out of thin air.

Jimin gives Hoseok a tired look and shakes his head. “I’m telling you, hyung. If we scare him off, we’re never getting another new roommate ever again.”

And Yoongi doesn’t want to be disrespectful, doesn’t want to make them feel bad, but he can’t stop himself from asking.

“Did you know Namjoon and Jin hyung and Jungkook and Taehyung are dating?”

Hoseok and Jimin just give him a weird look for half a second and shrug.

“Ah, forgot we never told you,” Jimin said waving a hand, “Jungkookie and Tae-Tae have been friends since they were in diapers, they’re pretty much meant to be, no one was surprised. And as for Namjoon hyung and Jin hyung, they’re pretty much our parents. Been together ever since we got here.”

Yoongi nods in understanding at this. “Wow. That’s… that’s cool. Wow. Nice.”

Jimin smiles. “Isn’t it? They’re lucky to have each other. It’s why I’m so glad you’re here, hyung. I want to say Hobi hyung here can sympathize with me but he’s out on dates with other guys every other day.”

Yoongi nearly drops his mug, and looks up at Hoseok. “Oh.. you’re… you roll that way too?”

Hoseok and Jimin pause all movement and their eyes turn from amused to just downright confused.

“Well,” Hoseok said with a smile that looked forced, “yeah, it’s why I’m… well, here .”

Yoongi blinks. Once. Twice. Thrice. “Huh?”

“Hyung,” Jimin says, laughing awkwardly, “I mean, Sir Bang Si Hyuk put you with us for a reason, right? I mean… I’m sure he would’ve said something about it before he gave you the keys.”

“We wanted to room together because we feel most comfortable with each other. I mean, a lot of us have known each other since we were kids and well, the first people we came out to was pretty much each other.” Hoseok explains.

Yoongi gulps. “So… all of you are?”

Jimin backs away slowly. “Wait, wait, wait. You are too... aren’t you?”

There’s a very, very tense silence.

“I’m... straight.” Yoongi says, voice almost a whisper.

Jimin and Hoseok blink simultaneously. If it were possible for jaws to drop to the floor, Yoongi likes to think that’s what happened right then.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin said, raising a finger, “I’m going to have to ask you to walk me through that just one more time.”

“I’m straight.” Yoongi repeat, a bit louder this time. “Like, I’m cool with the fact that you guys are gay, if that’s what you’re worried about, but yeah, I’m.. I’m straight.”

“Well.” Hoseok says, calmly. “Well shit.” He turns to Jimin, face turning sympathetic, “You okay there, bud?”

Jimin, finger still raised, starts talking in a very, very high pitched voice. “I think I need to take a moment.”

Jimin starts walking away, finger still fucking raised. Yoongi wants to inform him to put his hand down.

“Where are you going?” Hoseok asks, eyes trailing after Jimin.

“I don’t know!” Jimin says exasperatedly, “To my room! To wallow in my despair! To cry! To--” He motions to Yoongi’s shirtless state, “-- masturbate! Fuck! Fuck! I’m sorry! Good night! I’m off to hell!”

He enters his room and shuts the door after him. Hoseok turns to look at Yoongi and Yoongi’s entire body has gone stiff.

Hoseok’s eyes go from Yoongi, to Jimin’s room. Then back to Yoongi, and Jimin’s room again. Hoseok clicks his tongue.

“GUYS!” He screams at the top of his lungs. “YOONGI’S STRAIGHT!”

In three seconds, heads are poking out of doors.


“Shame. I shipped him with Jimin.”

"Are you absolutely sure?"

Taehyung’s eyes go from Yoongi to the closed room next to his own. He sighs and shakes his head. “The two tragic bastards.”

Chapter Text

“Hyung, I’m not sure if I’m following this correctly.” Jihoon says, “So, you’re telling me, you live with six other guys and all of them, literally every single one, are gay.”

“For the fourth time, yes .” Yoongi says exasperatedly, pulling on his hair. “Yes, yes, shit.”

“Okay, that I can understand.” Jihoon says, “What I don’t understand is why in the fuck you told them you’re straight.”

Yoongi sputters indignantly, a little scoff escaping his mouth. “What the fuck do you mean by that, you insolent little brat? I’m straight as uncooked pasta.”

“Hyung, you’re cooked as shit.” Jihoon says factually, “I know what straight is. I’m straight. You.. you’re… well, I’d consider your path thoroughly beaten.”

“Alright, just because I slept around a little during high school, doesn’t mean that I-”

“And by slept around, you mean fucked ten different boys in ten different positions.” Jihoon says monotonously, cutting his older brother off.

“Fuck, Jihoonie, please, I’d rather not talk about my sex life with my little brother, please, thanks.”

“I’m just saying, hyung.” Jihoon continues, “It’s a little hard to believe that you’re straight.”

“Then explain the two ex girlfriends I had from high school, huh?” Yoongi says, at this point, standing up from his bed and pacing around the room. “What about Hana and Yoorim-”

“If you're telling me you were actually, for real, legitimately, no shitting around in love with them, I’d be fucking concerned. Those were pathetic excuses for relationships and you fucking know it.” Jihoon points out.

Yoongi is about to argue, before thinking it over in his head, and sighing, flopping back down on his bed. “But I’ve never felt anything romantic for a guy either.”

Jihoon hums for a few seconds before sighing too. “I guess you’re right. But honestly, hyung. It’s your gender preference, it’s something that only you can know for sure so figure it out yourself. And plus, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I mean, I know you said they’re really weird and all, but you don’t think they’re gonna come at you, right? Like try to get in your pants-”

“What? No.” Yoongi says. “They’re not like that. Besides, majority of them are already dating someone. Just… What if they’re uncomfortable with me now?” He asks, almost whispering.

Jihoon chuckles. “You know what, I think they’re the ones worrying about whether you’re uncomfortable with them. If I were you, I’d be doing my best right now to assure them that their sexuality doesn’t change anything. Especially.. What’s his name.. Jimjams, was it? The dude who jerked off to yo-”

Yoongi groans. “Fuck, you’re right, there's Jimin, shit. Alright. I’m gonna call you tomorrow. Thanks, Jihoonie. Bye.”

When Yoongi drops the phone on his bed, all he can do is groan and throw the covers over his face. It’s been almost a week since he started living with them, and he swears, every single time he comes home from class, the ambiance of the place just does a complete one eighty.

Fuck, Jimin wouldn’t even look him in the eye when passing the damn rice. Rice! The guy couldn’t pass him fucking rice!

Yoongi sighs, telling himself that it couldn’t go on like this. If he was going to live with these six guys for the rest of his school life, he couldn’t feel awkward with them and they couldn’t feel awkward with him. It just wasn’t right. He shouldn’t have to wait ‘til after midnight to shower. The couples in the dorm shouldn’t have to hide to show their affection. No one in the damn household should feel uncomfortable because of who they were! Of who they loved! No! Min Yoongi was not allowing this! He was going to fix this because it was killing him. Literally, it made his skin crawl. It actually itched. Wait, really, it itch-

Yoongi’s breath hitches in his throat. He looks under his blanket slowly and feels his soul depart his body.

Yoongi realizes right at that moment, how fast even the shortest of words, shortest of phrases, can completely change people’s moods. Words like ‘Let’s break up’ ‘I don’t love you’ ‘There’s no more rice’ and in the case of this household;




“Okay, hyung, I’m gonna need you to calm down-”

“What do you mean by you couldn’t find him?!” Yoongi screams, getting up from his position in the couch, “I can’t go back into my room if there’s still a tarantula on the loose somewhere in there!”

“Well,” Jungkook tries to explain, waving his hands in the air, as if looking for the answer somewhere there, “- maybe he isn’t there anymore. Maybe he’s already… someplace else. Someone else’s room. But, I just need to know, for like, scientific purposes of course, I'm not saying it's possible that she's there but have you checked your clothes? Your body?”

Yoongi screams at this, frantically patting himself off. “Fuck! Why is it always Taekook! Why not the smaller ones! Why is it always her!”

Namjoon sighs tiredly. “It’s the big ones that usually get lonely. I completely understa-”

“Namjoonie,” Seokjin raises a hand up, “Now is not the the time for Your Philosophical Bullshit™.”

“Okay.” Yoongi says, taking deep breaths. “Okay, okay, okay. It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything will be fine. She's not on me. She's not on me. I'm fine.”

“Don’t freak out, man. If you want, you can take my bed for tonight. I’m sleeping over somewhere else. So, if you won’t be comfortable in your own room, you can take mine.”

Yoongi nearly cries in relief. He turns his head to look at Hoseok gratefully. He swears, there were tears at the corner of his eyes. “Bruh.”

Hoseok pats him on the back. “Anytime, bruh. Except…”

His eyes trail off to the orange haired boy crawling a few feet away from them, checking under all the chairs and tables. “Except, you know, the one I room with is that one over there.”

Five pairs of eyes instantly rest on his face, watching for a reaction. Yoongi can only sigh.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about… our situation. ” He says, motioning to himself and the rest of them. “And by situation, I mean there’s no situation at all. I don’t care who you all are into, alright? Boy, girl, dog, cat, spider. It’s not important to me. We’re all people, we’re all… friends now, right? So don’t be weird with me. Because I don’t want to-”

He’s cut off with a bone crushing hug from Taehyung and coos of adoration from the rest of them.

Yoongi sighs. He really should’ve prepared himself for this kind of reaction.

“Yeah, so I’m fine with rooming with Jimin.” He finishes, voice muffled into Taehyung’s shoulder.

Suddenly, the clueless boy is up from the floor, eyes wide, body rigid. “You’re rooming with who now?”



“Okay, Jimin,” Yoongi says carefully, looking over to the bed parallel to his, “I am acknowledging that you’re sad. But I’m not exactly sure why a documentary about fireflies is affecting you so much.”

Jimin looks up, tears clouding his vision, lips shaped into an indignant pout. “A firefly just died, hyung.”

Yoongi blinks. “My condolences. I truly feel so sad for the… death of the butt-glowing insect.” He says, before turning back to his textbook.

Jimin huffs indignantly. “Wow. Thank you for caring. Really.”

Yoongi chuckles at this. He glances over to the boy again and decides, maybe it’s about time he addresses what happened a couple of nights ago.

“Hey, Jimin,” Yoongi coughs, turning his body slightly to face the younger, “About, uh, the whole straight thing…”

“Actually,” Jimin says, when Yoongi drifts off, “I wanted to say something about that too. Just to lessen the tension between us.”

Yoongi nods and shrugs. “Well. I’m all ears. You go first.”

Jimin heaves a heavy sigh and purses his lips. “I’m really sorry. I must’ve made things awkward by spewing out shit like that. I didn’t mean to, I was just surprised. But really, you’re you, I’m me, I’m totally cool with just being bros and it’d really make me happy if we could be bros. You feel me.. Bro?”

“Bruh.” Yoongi says, raising a hand to his chest in relief. “Exactly what I wanted to tell you. We good?”

“We’re good.” Jimin smiles, that smile again, the god awful(ly cute) smile that makes his eyes turn into crescents.

Yoongi doesn’t know how it happens but one minute they’re in their respectful spaces doing school work and watching documentaries about insects and whatnot, the next they’re huddled up in Hoseok’s bed, talking about the rest of the boys, music and falling in love.

“Woah,” Yoongi breathes out, “I knew Jungkook and Taehyung were fucking but I didn’t know they were in love!”

Jimin laughs at this. “Taehyung’s actually the one who got Jungkook to get into the performing arts world. I’ve known the both of them since middle school and I swear, they’ve only ever had eyes for each other.”

Yoongi leans back against the headboard, lulling his head to the side to look at Jimin. “How about you? Have you ever seriously dated someone?”

Jimin shrugs. “I dated this guy for about seven months, but it didn’t end very well. I was sad for awhile but it wasn’t anything too serious. Nothing close to what Namjoon hyung and Jin hyung have.”

“Well shit,” Yoongi whistles, “How do you know the difference between what that was and what Jin hyung and Namjoon have?”

Jimin hums, tapping his fingers on his knees that were huddled up to his chest. “It’s just… it’s a feeling, hyung. You feel it. Have you never dated before?”

“Like you,” Yoongi starts, “I’ve only dated about two girls. But neither lasted for very long and honestly, I don’t even know if you can call what happened there relationships. It was kind of a pathetic excuse for one.”

Jimin sighs and nods sympathetically. “I feel. I feel you so much.”

Yoongi chuckles softly at this, nudging Jimin’s arm. “So how do you know? How do you know if… if that’s it? If the person you’re with is... it?

It’s an innocent question, Jimin knew. But the expression on Yoongi’s face was saying something else. As if he were asking him ‘Give me a little push to the right direction to find out who I am’.

“I’m not the right person to ask these kinds of questions to, you know.” Jimin chuckles, “But Namjoon hyung once told me something, about how he felt with Jin hyung, and I’ve always kept it with me.”

Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “More of his Philosophical Bullshit?”

Jimin nods. “Indeed. But it’s good Philosophical Bullshit, in my opinion.”

Yoongi hums in understanding, sort of in doubt, considering that well, it’s Namjoon. “Let’s hear it then.”

Jimin leans back and takes a deep breath before speaking.

“He said that when he fell in love with Jin hyung, it was like everyone he thought he loved before him, felt like nothing compared to what he felt with him. He said, Jin hyung was so fucking perfect, it made him want to shoot himself. That Namjoon hyung, who always takes so much time to make decisions, who wants his life planned out in front of him before he takes the next step, for once, wanted to act recklessly, because Jin hyung made him feel the best thing he’s ever felt in his time on Earth.”

Yoongi gulps. “That’s… that’s a big thing to say.”

Jimin nods. “I know, right? I couldn’t really wrap my head around that back then. I barely can even now.”

“I mean, it’s kinda terrifying, isn’t it? Liking someone so much, pushing aside the fact that this person can leave you, or his feelings for you could change at any given moment?” Yoongi asks, staring up at the ceiling.

Jimin smiles. “Exactly what I said. But he told me, that I was right. It is terrifying. It’s scary. It’s fucking stupid. And everything is uncertain. But love makes you want to hold on to the last string, even if it’s shaky, even if it’s hard, even if you look like a damn fool. And you can’t blame them. How can you? If it’s that wonderful to love someone.”

And Yoongi, for a moment, thinks he understands. As he trails his eyes down the slope of Jimin’s nose, the way his lips curved into a smile whenever he talked about his friends, the glimmer in his eyes that spoke of nothing but admiration and amazement, he thinks he understands a bit.

“Love opens your eyes to both everything wonderful and everything unbearable about a person. They argue a lot over the pettiest of things, Namjoon hyung’s messy as shit while Jin hyung’s the biggest neatfreak I know next to Hobi hyung, Namjoon hyung likes to read Socrates while Jin hyung only reads cook books, but despite all that, they share one very important commonality.”

Yoongi blinks. “What?” He asks, almost whispering, as if the answer was so important, was the world’s biggest secret, that only Yoongi was allowed to hear.

“They’re head in the clouds, disgustingly, stupidly, in love with each other.” Jimin says with a smile. “They make each other so unbelievably happy, they grow beside each other and learned to love even the times they hated each other.”

Yoongi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “And that’s love?”

Jimin nods, letting out a little breath of his own. “Apparently, that’s love.”

“Wow.” Yoongi says disbelievingly. “Humans are fucking stupid, aren’t they?”

Jimin laughs. “Okay, that’s hashtag tru. But what do you mean by that?”

“They love too much, get hurt too much, cry too much. It’s so weird. What’s the point?” Yoongi asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s love.” Jimin says quietly, stretching his legs out. “That’s love, hyung.”

“And you believe in it? Even if you think you haven’t felt it yet?”

Jimin nods confidently.

“Even if it seems so stupid?” Yoongi prods further.

Jimin smiles, turning his head to look at the boy next to him. “Especially because it seems so stupid.”



When Yoongi wakes up, the first thing he feels is a head of hair tickling the side of his face. He groans, rubs his eyes and turns only to see Park Jimin's head nestled into the crook of his neck.

“Wh-” Yoongi starts to ask, but when he looks up, he’s met with Taehyung and Jungkook standing by the door, very suggestive looks on their faces.

“We were just talking.” Yoongi explains tiredly, trying to stretch without jostling Jimin too much, “It’s not whatever the hell you two are thinking right now.”

“Whatever.” Taehyung says, winking and flashing Yoongi a toothy grin. “Breakfast’s ready.”

“Make sure to clean up your mess.” Jungkook adds, “Hobi hyung will kill the both of you otherwise.”

When they walk out the door, Yoongi relaxes a little, turning his attention back to the sleeping lump next to him.

“Jimin…” Yoongi calls out softly, nudging the boy, “Get up.”

Jimin doesn’t move. Yoongi sighs. Okay, this might take a while.

“Jiminie?” Yoongi tries again, raising a hand to shake his shoulder. “Time to get up.”

“No.” Jimin whines, turning around, lifting himself off Yoongi’s shoulder, only to dive into the covers, burying his face into Hoseok’s pillow.

Yoongi groans. “Get the fuck up before I hurl you across the room, you… you fucking-- marshmallow!”

Jimin cracks up at this, rolling around to face Yoongi and smack him on the thigh. Yoongi pretends he wouldn’t want to wake up to that sort of view every day.

As they make their way out the room, Hoseok’s already sitting with the rest of the boys in the dining table, with a duffel bag beside his feet, greeting the two with a “Good morning! Happy fucking?” and a slap on the ass so hard, Yoongi believes it could’ve sent him all the way to Timbuktu.

Taehyung cracks up at this, giving Hoseok a high five, Jungkook is literally asleep in his cereal, Jimin whines loudly and stomps his feet, Namjoon pokes his tongue with a fork and starts bleeding, Seokjin stuffs Hoseok’s mouth with a pancake, saying “Stop corrupting the kids when they’re trying to be straight ‘n shit.”

Suddenly, they hear a choking sound.

“Jungkook’s drowning in his milk!”

Yoongi heaves a tired sigh and sits down, Jimin following suit right next to him.

He stares as Taehyung attempts to give Jungkook mouth to mouth resuscitation, Seokjin frantically looks for a tissue to stop Namjoon’s bleeding and Jimin pat Hoseok’s back as he chokes on a pancake. He smiles a little to himself and thinks, yeah, maybe he could get used to this a little.

Suddenly, he feels an itch on the tip of his toe. Spoke to soon.





It had been a month. A fucking hectic damn month, full of cases of missing spiders, walking in on happy time, nearly getting his head cut off by Namjoon when he tried to help Jin with the soup, finding Taehyung and Jungkook in positions that could only be used for those who are boneless and not human, Hoseok screaming profanities at the TV screen and lots and lots of Park Jimin.

“It’s a bet!” Taehyung cried from outside his room. “It was a bet! You have to follow through, Park Jimin!”

“Babe, I really, really,” Jungkook says carefully, “-think this is not going to end well.”

“Remember last time?” Seokjin reminds him, sounding desperate.

“It was once!” Taehyung cried out.

“Thrice!” Everyone else cried out altogether.

“You put a hole as big as your asshole in our frying pan!” Seokjin pointed out.

“Hey!” Taehyung says indignantly. Yoongi can imagine the boy’s hands flying to his waist.

Yoongi stretches and gets ready to head out of his room, watch the events unfold before his eyes, pop some popcorn, maybe.

When he heads out of his room, he realizes, thanks to the bright smile on Taehyung’s face and the concerned look on everyone’s faces, that leaving the comfort and safety of his bedroom was a very, very terrible idea.

“Oh crap.” Namjoon says, hiding his face in his hands. “We’re all gonna die and no one will live to call the police and help everyone find our bodies.”

Taehyung raises a bowl of Who The Fuck Knows What That Is right in front of Yoongi’s face and Yoongi swears, his soul momentarily left the room, saw a glimpse of Satan and went right back.

“It’s a bet.” Taehyung says brightly, as if he wasn’t holding evil right in his very hands. “If I win, everyone has to eat!”

Yoongi groans. “Why? Why do you all still keep making bets with him? Why do you love pain? Death? Despair?”

But alas, it was a bet, none of the seven were ones to back down from bets, and so they all dig their spoons into the bowl and (oh dear god) shove them in their mouths.

Half a second passes.

“It’s moving!” Jimin screams at the top of his lungs, “It’s moving in my mouth!”

Namjoon, currently spitting Taehyung’s creation back into the bowl, points to Yoongi, “I think he’s dying! Fuck! His eyes are turning black! He’s turning!”

“Oh, calm down, Esmeralda. Yoongi’s not the devil.” Seokjin says, on his second glass of water.

“You sure?” Yoongi chokes, eyes beginning to tear. “‘Cause I’m pretty sure this is Hell.”



“Is it not possible for any of you all to act remotely normal?” Yoongi asks, collapsing on Jimin’s bed, hand resting on his stomach.

“I’ve been asking myself the same question for the past several years.” Jimin answers. “And, the answer is no.”

“Everyday, I wonder what it is exactly that I’ve gotten myself into.” Yoongi says under his breath. “I’m not sure if I’m living with the top students of an arts school or with children aged five to ten.”

“Hey,” Jimin says seriously, raising a finger, “That’s not fair. Taehyung’s probably about three.”

Yoongi laughs, shaking his head. “What the hell did Taehyung put in that?”

“I don’t know, but Vodka was there, I’m sure.” Jimin says, “Like, a fucking shitload of Vodka.”

“Vodka?” Yoongi asks, “Fuck. In soup?”

“This is Tae.” Jimin says, tiredly turning his head to look at Yoongi, whose face was way too close. “Are you still surprised?”

“Fuck, no wonder I feel all woozy.” Yoongi groans, hands reaching up to rub his temples. “Fuck, it’s a Thursday. No.”

“Wow, look at you, worrying about drinking on a weekday.” Jimin jokes.

“Are you drunk?” Yoongi asks, lulling his head to the side, lips really fucking dangerously close to Jimin’s but he can’t bring himself to care.

Jimin sucks in a breath and slightly moves his face away, with the little self control he had left. “Fortunately, not drunk enough.” He breathes out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi asks, voice low, voice slurring a little and eyes feeling heavier.

“It just means,” Jimin says in a soft voice, examining Yoongi’s expression, knowing the boy was about to lose consciousness, “I’m sorry, but I really fucking wish you weren’t straight right now.”

Yoongi doesn’t remember much of what happened the night before, but he does know he never thought he’d wake up spooning a snoring Jimin and to the sound of Taehyung screaming something that sounded a lot like “Suck my honey-flavoured cock!”

And it’s at that moment, that Yoongi realizes that the minute he finds the energy to get on his feet, he really should drop on his knees and thank Seokjin for the ear plugs.

Jimin stirs in his sleep, turning around to throw an arm around Yoongi and he sucks in a breath, when he feels Jimin breathe into his neck.

The sound of his brother’s voice saying “Hyung, you’re cooked as shit” keeps rewinding in his head and Yoongi needs to hit himself in the head to make it stop.

“Hyung,” Jimin suddenly whimpers.

Yoongi freezes. He looks down at the sleeping figure in his arms and he sees the boy’s eyelids flutter. “Did I just hear Tae say something about a honey-flavoured cock or am I dreaming?”

Yoongi shushes him, running a hand through his hair, sighing. He really wishes he could say that they were dreaming. He really did. “Don’t listen to evil things, my child.”

“Kim Taehyung!” Seokjin screams from outside, “Off the table! I said off! You are not done filling out your forms and putting ‘Every damn night’ in the ‘Sex’ option is not appropriate!”

“Fuck!” Namjoon groans, “We fucking eat there! My eyes! My eyes!”

And Yoongi, in the confines of Jimin’s bed, decides maybe there’s no harm in hugging the boy a little bit tighter.

"Hmm." He hears from the other side of the room, and Yoongi's eyes dart to Hoseok's bed, and he sees the previously unconscious boy, now posing in a way that made Yoongi want to edit the words 'Paint me like one of ur french girls' on top of his body. The boy wiggled his eyebrows at them.

"Good morning," He greeted, voice sultry, "Happy cuddling?"

Yoongi throws a pillow at his face. 

"I am going to chop your body and throw your disembodied limbs one bye one in a fire." Yoongi says monotonously.

"Throw who in a fire?" Jimin asks sleepily, "I don't want anyone in a fire. I want to sleep."

Yoongi looks down and is met with the boy's pouty lips and messy bed hair.

"Fuck," He whispers to himself. "I'm cooked as shit."

Chapter Text

It’s one of those days that Yoongi wants to look up at the sky and see God staring right back at him, just for the sole reason of asking him the question; “What bad have I ever done in my life to deserve this?”

But no, unfortunately, God did not show himself to Yoongi. The only view he’s being met with right now, is Seokjin and Namjoon trying to break up the fight, Jungkook and Jimin trying to hold Taehyung back, Hoseok soothing Taehyung’s outraged parents and well, here he was, being Yoongi, taking three steps backwards to avoid the mess. This was not how he was expecting their showcase to end.


One month prior, 7:26 am


It had been approximately four months since Yoongi first started his residency with the six boys and four spiders and it’s safe to say that he’s gotten used to their strange way of living.

He stretches his body, swings his door open, and is met with Jimin and Taehyung already having their meals.

“What’s on the breakfast menu today?” Yoongi asks, yawning as he sat down on one of the free seats.

“Jungkook.” The two say in unison, as if they hadn’t just given Yoongi a two second heart attack and the image of Jungkook On A Stick in his head.

Yoongi chokes on his spit and Taehyung shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, hyung.” He says, popping a cookie in his mouth. “It’s not Jungkookie, just his siblings.”

Yoongi blinks a little in disbelief but immediately collects himself, grabbing a cookie from the jar and taking a bite. He closes his eyes and hums in satisfaction. “Jin hyung is a God.”

Seokjin chooses to emerge from the bathroom at that moment, clad in a pink towel, rubber duck in hand. “I’d prefer to be called Bootylicious Pink God of Destruction and Delectable Goods.”

“Isn’t God of Destruction Namjoon hyung?” Taehyung asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Where’s Jungkookie anyway?” Yoongi asks, ignoring their hyung, turning his attention back to Jimin.

“He went to meet with his vocal coach, he had some questions.” Jimin answers. “You know, about the whole showcase thing next month?”

Yoongi blinks at this, his expression going blank. Fuck. He’d completely forgotten all about it. He groans in despair, leaning back into the chair, shoving the entire cookie into his mouth.

“I know that look,” Hoseok says, again, appearing out of nowhere, grabbing a cookie of his own. “It’s the ‘Crap, I forgot about that fucking showcase and I have nothing prepared ’ look.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Yoongi asks, throwing his hands up in the air.

“You have an entire month, hyung.” Jimin says reassuringly squeezing Yoongi’s shoulder which really just made him forget all about his problems for half a second. “You’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re one of the top students in this damn university.” Yoongi mumbles, scratching his head.

“And you’re a student here for a reason.” Namjoon says comfortingly. “Have a little faith in yourself, huh? If you need any help, well then, that’s what the rest of us are here for.”

Taehyung chokes on a chocolate chip, making a noise that Yoongi never thought he’d ever hear from a human being.

“Really?” Yoongi asks motioning to Taehyung, “Does this look reliable to you?”

“You seem to have forgotten that all of us are top students here, hyung.” Jimin says playfully, “Including Tae-Tae.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi mutters to himself, “What kind of fucked up people go to this damn school anyway?”



“I really don’t understand why Rachel and Joey couldn’t just be together.” Jimin says, shaking his head in disapproval. “I fucking hate the directors of this show. Why they gotta play me like this?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “This is the third time we’ve watched this season. And probably the sixth hundredth time we’ve watched this show. We all know Rachel ends up with Ross, and Joey stays single.”

“But I hate Ross and Rachel!” Jimin whines, pointing to the screen, “All they did was fight! Over the fact that they were on a break! Which they were!”

“Tough love, Jiminnie.” Yoongi says simply, turning his attention back to the show, “It’s called tough love.”

“Ugh.” Jimin huffs. “You’re right. Humans are stupid.”

Yoongi chuckles at this, not able to help the smile that materializes on his face. “What? You suddenly don’t believe in the power of love anymore?”

“Not if it’s like this!” Jimin says, pointing to the screen once again, right at the scene where Joey confesses that he loves Rachel but Rachel admits that she doesn’t feel the same way. “Oh god. Oh my god. He’s crushed! Look at his face! Damn it, Rachel! Tell him you love him! Marry him! Don’t go back to Ross! Oh my god, love yourself!”

“Jimin, you-”

But Jimin cuts him off, making a shush noise, pressing his index finger against Yoongi’s lips. The boy closes his eyes dramatically, bringing his free hand to his mouth, pretending to hold a mic.

He then starts to sing the first verse of Love Yourself by Justin Bieber.

Yoongi wants to laugh, but he’s momentarily reminded of how beautiful Jimin’s voice is. Not that the rest of him wasn’t just as beautiful, but you can’t blame him for being charmed out of his ass whenever Jimin opened his mouth and started sounding like a damn choir of angels and Yoongi has to act as if he weren’t in actual physical pain.

“Hey, Jimin,” Yoongi says quietly interrupting Jimin from his mini concert.

Jimin re-opens his eyes and cocks his head slightly, “What?”

“You think you’ll have some time to help me out with my presentation for the showcase?” Yoongi asks, lightly tapping his fingers on Jimin’s thigh.

His eyes trail down to Jimin’s throat, and he swears to God, Jimin gulps at the feel of his hand.

But the smile on his lips don’t deter when he nods his head and says, “Of course, hyung. What’re friends for?”



Yoongi is slowly, very fucking slowly, coming to terms with the idea that he may or may not be fucking cooked for Park Jimin. After their first little cuddling session a few months back, he’d phoned his little brother and confessed that he might sort of think Jimin was beautiful, which earned him nothing but a long sigh of relief and a “Took you fucking long enough.”

Yoongi had shrugged it off as a fluke at first, but several months, movie marathons, parties, days of binge watching TV shows later, he has realized that it is not, in fact, a fluke. He is almost convinced that he is very much cooked for Park Jimin. And he is now one frustrated, confused, sorta kinda gay noodle.

It was one thing to admit it to his little brother. It was another thing to voice it out to the six other inhabitants of the dorm. Because how can he tell these people he’s straight, give them the shock of their lives and months later, just go “Haha, just kidding, nah bruh.”


Two and a half weeks prior showcase disaster, 1:28 am, Yoongi Realizes He Really Is Cooked


“So,” Yoongi puts down his pen and paper, finally content with the verse he’d written, “Care to tell me the story of Jungkook and his spiders?”

Jimin sighs, leans back and stares into a distance, the way grandparents look when they’re about to tell their grandchildren a story that starts with “Back in the day…”

“Where the fuck do I begin?” Jimin laughs, shaking his head, “It’s a long and complicated story. You sure you wanna hear this?”

“I’m stuck with you guys for the next two years.” Yoongi says. “Might as well try to understand the way your minds work.”

“It all goes back to the day Taehyung and Jungkook met.” Jimin says, with that look of adoration and love in his eyes again, “- if I remember correctly, Tae was about four and Jungkookie was three.”

“They really do go way back, huh?” Yoongi mumbles which Jimin confirms with a strong nod.

“It was outside some primary school in a neighbourhood they shared, Taehyung was freaking out over a spider that crawled its way up his pants and Jungkook had helped him get it off. He was the only one who bothered to help him in the crowd of laughing kids.”

Yoongi smiles. “That’s pretty fucking cute, Jimin. That’s fucking adorable.”

“They were inseparable since then.” Jimin continues, “Bestest best friends. Before I came along, they were the the BFF duo like no other. Even Tae-Tae’s parents loved seeing them together back then. Took pictures of them whenever they could.”

But Yoongi sees the light in Jimin’s eyes fade a little, his lips turning downwards into a frown, almost unnoticeable, but Yoongi does notice. Why the fuck does he notice.

“Then what?” Yoongi asks.

“Then they fell in love.” Jimin smiles, but Yoongi couldn’t understand why it looked so sad. “Taehyung was sixteen, Jungkook was fifteen. It… it was something Tae’s parents couldn’t really accept.”

“Oh, fuck.” Yoongi says, voice low, directing his gaze into his lap. “Shit, man.”

“Tae’s parents got rid of him as soon as they could. They don’t hate him, they just… Things have been very rough for them since then.”

“So,” Yoongi says, “They got the spiders to sort of remind them of their romance?"

Jimin nods. “Their kids, apparently.” He laughs, “I remember the day they bought Taekookie so clearly. My fucking face went pale when they held him up to me so happily.”

Yoongi leans back, going over the story in his head one more time. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

Jimin raises his eyebrows, giving Yoongi a strange look. “You always manage to see the bad in everything when it comes to love, don’t you?”

Yoongi scoffs at this. “It’s not that. I’m sure they’re happy together. I just…” Yoongi drifts off, sighing, as he looks down and plays with his fingers, thinking of the right words to say.

“Bad experience?” Jimin asks, sympathy evident in his voice.

Yoongi shakes his head. “You know I’ve never experienced anything like that, it’s just that I’ve seen it happen too many times.”

“Seen what happen too many times?”

“I grew up in a broken family.” Yoongi reveals, “And don’t give me that look, alright, I’m not trying to make you feel bad for me.”

Jimin instantly changes his facial expression from a sympathetic one to a blank one. Yoongi laughs.

“All that I’m trying to say is, I’ve seen people, so fucking in love with each other, so happy together, and I’m not just talking about my parents. But their friends, their co-workers, Jihoon’s friends, my friends.”

Jimin only listens, realizing that it was the very first time Yoongi was opening up to him about his thoughts without having to fish it out of him.

“And it’s like, one day, one of them, or both of them, just wake up and realize they don’t love this person anymore. Sometimes, it’s because of a mistake, sometimes because they realize they’re too different, they want different things, or they just couldn’t find what they were looking for, and sometimes…”

Yoongi releases a heavy sigh, his hands weakly falling to his lap, “Sometimes there’s no reason at all. People just grow apart and realize that… It’s not gonna work.”

“People can walk away as if they hadn’t been together for over ten years, people manage to cheat on the one’s they claimed they’d love in sickness and in health ‘til death do they part. It’s sad, it’s ridiculous, it’s stupid.”

“I’m not saying I don’t believe in love or relationships or marriage,” Yoongi continues, “I’m just saying it’s hard to find the right person, or if there is a right person at all.”

Jimin seems to be lost in thought. Either that or the wall was just that interesting. But Yoongi lets him think. Waits for the boy to impart more wisdom and philosophy about True Love that he probably heard from Namjoon or someone else.

“I can’t explain either.” Jimin suddenly says, breaking the silence. “I can’t explain love. It’s so abstract and I can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t think anyone can truly explain love and the feelings it invokes.”

Yoongi nods at this.

“But I can tell you something I’ve learned from seeing Jungkook and Taehyung. It might not be as long and precise as Namjoon hyung’s definition of love, but it’s something.” Jimin says, wringing his hands together.

Yoongi makes a little noise of question.

“Jungkook always talks about what a pain in the ass Taehyung is.”

Yoongi nods his head, agreeing strongly.

Jimin smiles, before continuing with, “But he also said, that loving Taehyung feels like coming home.”

Yoongi just stares, lets the words sink in, words that didn’t explain much of anything but at the same time explained pretty much everything, takes in the genuine look on Jimin’s face, at this beautiful boy beside him who seemed to be a sunshine child who walked through life like he had seen nothing ugly in this world, who knew nothing about pain, suffering or loss. But is someone who has seen and felt everything from pain, to suffering, to loss, just like everyone else, but chooses to find the good in it, no matter how tiny or seemingly insignificant.

Yoongi feels butterflies and inwardly curses to himself. He was a noodle. A curly, soggy noodle, indeed.


Showcase Night, 7:08 pm, approximately 2 hours and 58 minutes before disaster strikes


“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.” Taehyung chants, pacing back and forth backstage. “No. I was not informed that my parents were gonna be in the crowd tonight. Fuck. How come no one told me?”

“Come on, babe.” Jungkook says softly, hands kneading Taehyung’s shoulders, trying to calm him down even when he, himself looked anything but calm. “It’s not that bad.”

Oh, but Yoongi knew that it was very bad. According to Jimin, the last time Taehyung had seen his parents was over five months ago, and it had ended with Taehyung storming out the house and his parents telling him to come back to them only if he’s sorted out his head.

Regardless of the situation, when Taehyung gets onstage and performs Happy Day with Jungkook and himself, Yoongi realizes exactly why they’d earned their titles as the top students of BTS.

Yoongi has another stage, one where he raps with Namjoon and Hoseok, with Seokjin and Jimin as their vocals, and the crowd goes wild. It wasn’t Yoongi’s first time performing a song he’s written and produced in front of a crowd, but singing it with his friends and the boy who’d helped him create it, it was something else.

When the showcase ends, everyone’s practically gone insane. When the seven of them hold hands and bow, they’re given a damn standing ovation. Now there’s something Yoongi had never experienced before.

Jimin leans over and whispers into his ear. He can barely hear it but he thinks he’s saying; “Welcome to the Top Club, Number 7.”


This Is A Disaster Everything is Terrible, The Present


It’s one of those days that Yoongi wants to look up at the sky and see God staring right back at him, just for the sole reason of asking him the question; “What bad have I ever done in my life to deserve this?”

But no, unfortunately, God did not show himself to Yoongi. The only view he’s being met with right now, is Seokjin and Namjoon trying to break up the fight, Jungkook and Jimin trying to hold Taehyung back, Hoseok soothing Taehyung’s outraged parents and well, here he was, being Yoongi, taking three steps backwards to avoid the mess. This was not how he was expecting their showcase to end.

“Why did you even come here?” Taehyung screams, eyes starting to glimmer with tears, “If all you were planning to do was berate me, why the fuck did you even come?”

Passersby and other students were starting to stop and stare and Yoongi had taken it upon himself to take the role of the person who shoves everyone away saying “Nothing to see here, people! Nothing to see!”

“Son, we’re not saying this to make you feel bad about yourself.” His mother explains, voice firm and arms crossed. “We’re saying this because we want you to have an easier and simpler life.”

“I don’t want easy and simple, mom, don’t you understand that?” Taehyung cries out, “I want to be with Jungkook!” He says, motioning to the frantic boy beside him.

“Tae, stop.” Jungkook whispers gently, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” Taehyung says stubbornly, shrugging Jungkook and Jimin off before facing his parents again, “You guys are right. Okay? Life won’t be easy. We’ll be judged, alienated, held back from a lot of things, people think it’s wrong. You think I don’t know that? I’m the one who’s been living through this, okay? Not you.”

Taehyung’s parents are silent, as Taehyung’s voice suddenly turns calm and soft.

“But the fact that I want to stay with him, be with him, the fact that I fight for the right to love him, isn’t that saying something about how serious I am about this?” He says, voice turning unstable.

“We’ve been called names before and I see it when people stare at us weirdly. I know people already think I’m weird, and woah, hey, fun bonus, I’m gay too! How are you gonna introduce your only son to people now, right?”

“Taehyung, stop this non-” His dad starts to say, raising a hand up.

“I know how other people look at me.” Taehyung cuts him off, “But I don’t fucking care! I don’t! Because I have Seokjin hyung, Namjoon hyung, Hoseok hyung, Yoongi hyung, Jiminnie… and Jungkookie.”

“I want to be able to have dinner with my parents and the love of my life. I want to go on family trips and have my mom take a picture of me and my boyfriend and put it in a frame. Fuck, I want you guys to come to my future wedding and congratulate me and wish me a life of happiness.” Taehyung’s crying at this point, and fuck, so were the people listening, “People will always judge me and berate me and bring me down. It would just really fucking help me a lot if you guys wouldn’t do the same thing, because that’s what hurts me the most.”

Taehyung walks away after this, promptly followed by Jungkook, but not before bowing respectfully to Taehyung’s stunned parents.

The other four are just awkwardly standing in a circle, now part of a mess that they really weren’t supposed to be a part of in the first place, but it’s while Taehyung and Jungkook’s figures were slowly moving out of peripheral vision, that Park Jimin’s brain shits out the stupidest and most beautiful idea Yoongi had ever heard in his life.



“Jeon Jungkook.” Seokjin says over the phone, as he carefully decorates the cake with icing, “Tell me exactly where you are right now and what time you both plan on coming back to the dorms. Talk as casually as possible. Do not make Tae suspicious. I will explain later.”

“Uh, it probably won’t be ‘til after midnight, hyung.” Jungkook says, “No need to wait up for us.”

“Alright, after midnight, we can make that work. Is 1:30 am a good enough time? Is Taehyung doing okay now?” Seokjin asks.

“Yep and yep.” Jungkook answers, as casually as he possibly can.

Seokjin presses the end button and instantly turns to everyone, “We have two hours to prepare. Chop chop everyone! There’s cake, balloons, and streamers to set up! We need a photographer!"

“Yoongi hyung can do it!” Jimin says, pointing to the boy who was busy blowing up white balloons, “He owns a camera and he’s good with it.”

Yoongi shoots him a glare in reply.

Jimin and Seokjin look at him pleadingly. “Come on, it’s for Tae and Jungkook.” Jimin whines.

Yoongi’s eyes go from Jimin to Seokjin then back to Jimin. He sighs in resignation. “Yeah, yeah, fuck, fine. Just stop it with the puppy eyes.”

“Namjoonie, do you have your outfit ready?” Seokjin asks, poking his head around in search of his boyfriend.

“Yeah, Hoseokie found me one and fixed it for me.” Namjoon says, waving him off.

“Where is he now?” Seokjin asks.

“Out calling for the audience. Telling them what to do and what’s gonna happen. Hyung, did Jungkookie say what time they’re getting here?”

“Yeah, around 1:30 so we have two hours and.. Park Jimin! Icing is not to be used for writing profanities on the wall!”



“Jungkook, what in the fuck is this?” Taehyung asks, staring at what seemed to be confetti below his feet, as they walked through the corridors back to their dorm room. “I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, it made the dorms pretty so I like it.”

“Believe me,” Jungkook says, eyes roaming to the ceilings, white and blue helium balloons scattered all around, “I have no fucking idea but I’m very concerned right now.” He says, checking his phone to see if his hyung had replied to his text of; “Just arrived at the school gates. What’re you planning?”

As they venture further into the building and get closer and closer to their room, the sound just keeps getting louder.

“What the hell is playing?” Jungkook mumbles, “Is there a party?”

“Uh,” Taehyung stutters, grabbing Jungkook’s hand as they see a crowd of people and a red carpet, littered with flower petals and streamers, “No, but I’m pretty sure that’s the wedding march and I’m pretty sure the entire floor is waving at us right now dressed in semi-formal clothing.”

“Oh my god.” Jungkook says.

“God.” Taehyung repeats. “God. Where’s God? This is heaven, isn’t it?”

The two speed walk towards the crowd and as they get there, everyone instantly cheers and part, the way the sea parted for Moses, and they’re met with Jimin holding a veil made of what seemed to be paper clips and tissue paper, Yoongi holding a camera, Namjoon dressed as a priest of some sort, and Hoseok and Seokjin in tuxedos.

Jimin approaches the two and puts a veil on top of Taehyung’s head, smiling and saying, “Because I know you wanted to wear one on your actual wedding. I know your ideal wedding is one with your parents and a huge cake, but you looked really sad today and let’s admit it, your rents were being kinda shitty so we wanted to do this for you. And as your best friend who has always loved and accepted you through your antics, I’ll walk the both of you down the aisle.”

Taehyung’s still half confused about what’s happening and Jungkook seems like his soul had just left the Earth, and yet, Taehyung can’t help the waterworks.

“You guys did all this just to cheer me up?” He asks.

Jimin shakes his head. “We did this because you both deserve it.”

Taehyung turns his attention to his boyfriend, who looked awestruck. “You didn’t know about this... did you?”

Jungkook turns and points to his face. “Does this look like the face of a man who knew anything?”

Jimin laughs at the two and grabs Taehyung and Jungkook’s arms respectively and link them together. “Come on, you two, we don’t have all night. Marry now, bicker later.”

As Jimin leads them down the aisle, their schoolmates shower them with flower petals and pop party streamers in their faces. Taehyung laughs like a child and Jungkook stares, as always, only having eyes for the man next to him.

When they reach the very end, which led them to the door of their dorm room, Namjoon is staring at them, a dictionary in hand.

“First and foremost,” Namjoon announces, making everyone quiet down, “I could not find a Bible of any sort in our dorm so I took something that looked sort of like one and decided that it would do for now.”

Yoongi stares at his picture of Namjoon in a priest outfit raising a dictionary and thinks it would make a great poster for a parody of The Exorcist.

“Now, I do not know how actual weddings go.” Namjoon says, looking at his two friends, “So… just state your vows… now.”

“Well, first of all, I want to say you look like a shit-”

Jungkook starts but is cut off by Taehyung who smacks him on the arm. “Don’t swear at the priest on our wedding day!”

“I’ll start,” Taehyung suddenly announces, accepting a bouquet of flowers given to him by Hoseok, “Because my soon to be husband over here, is handicapped when it comes to words and human emotion.”

Namjoon motions with his hand for Taehyung to start, and raises his other hand to stop Jungkook from arguing.

“Jeon Jungkook, you are by far, the most irritating son of a bitch I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

This earns a couple snickers and a huff from Jungkook.

“But you are the one who’s stayed with me the longest. A constant, who’s always accepted me and loved me for who I am. And I know I can be difficult, I know it’s tough to deal with me, but not once did you ever turn your back on me even when you had every right to.”

Jungkook smiles at this, and Yoongi tries not to admit it to himself, but it’s the first time he feels like crying during a wedding and fuck, it wasn’t even a real one.

Taehyung continues, “Everything I lack, you have so much of it in you. I’ve known you longer than I haven’t and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t know where we’ll be ten years from now, but fuck, I hope I’m with you. And I hope we’re as beautiful as we are now.”

It’s the first time that Yoongi had ever seen Taehyung seriously speak his mind with no trace of playfulness or sarcasm in his voice. That was how he knew, Taehyung was speaking from the heart.

Namjoon sniffs a little, trying to be lowkey about the fact that he’s tearing except it’s not very lowkey and he looks like an idiot. “Cheesy sons of bitches. Jungkook?”

Jungkook sighs, finally raising his head to meet Taehyung’s eyes. “I’m not good at cheesy stuff like this.”

“The sun is hot.” Seokjin says.

“Water flows.” Hoseok adds.

“Air is vital for survival.” Jimin points out.

“Are we done pointing out the obvious?” Yoongi asks, snapping a picture of Jungkook’s annoyed expression.

“But,” Jungkook sighs exasperatedly, “- I never even got to propose to you before this so I’m gonna try and make it as honest as I can… and hopefully not feel so attacked as I do.” He continues, giving them all a pointed look.

“Kim Taehyung, you’re an asshole. You’re loud, messy, irritating and you make me want to permanently install earplugs.”

Taehyung hisses and everyone cracks up. Yoongi snaps another picture.

“You always make me wonder how on earth I’m supposed to live my life hand in hand with you, when you go through life so fast that I have to hold onto your wrist to keep up,”

“And I know there are a lot of things that are uncertain. The future, time, life. Problems will come up, this won’t be easy, I’ll make mistakes and you will too. And… I don’t know a lot of things but I do know that I don’t remember what life was like without you.”

Taehyung’s tears roll down his cheeks at this point and Yoongi snaps another picture, of the couple in front of him and also of the sniffing orange haired boy beside him which earns him a slap.

“And you know what? Fuck, I don’t want to know what life is without you. So I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that I never have to. I love you.”

Before Namjoon can even take a breath, Taehyung shakily announces “Kiss me, you asshole” and grabs Jungkook’s cheeks, pulling his face towards his own and pressing their lips together.

Jungkook makes a little “mmmph” sound but melts into the kiss half a second later, raising a hand to comb through Taehyung’s hair.

Namjoon coughs. “So, by the power vested in this Dictionary," He says, holding it up again, "I pronounce them husband... and husband. Because I'm sure They Do, even if they hadn't said it, they're kissing for god's sake. Okay, Hoseok, where's the wedding rings..."

"I sort of.. ate them." Hoseok mumbles, half a calamari between his thumb and index finger.

Everyone cheers regardless of the newly wedded couple being ring-less, Yoongi snaps another picture. Taehyung and Jungkook in the middle of a liplock, Namjoon’s face of both endearment and disgust, Seokjin hugging Namjoon from behind with an expression that screamed ‘proud mom’, Hoseok blowing an air horn and Jimin with his fists in the air.

And Yoongi understands now. He understands at least a little of it. Knowing it’ll be hard but loving anyway. Knowing you two are different but loving anyway. Knowing the other isn’t perfect but loving anyway. And Yoongi has been to many weddings, of his aunts and uncles, his friend’s step parents, family friends. But never had he seen a wedding as genuine, real and full of love as this one. A wedding that wasn’t even real, held in a boys dormitory, with cake, balloons, tissue paper, only bound by the power of a dictionary and of course, a love that surpassed any type of love Yoongi had ever known.

Yoongi races to his friends, patting Jungkook and Taehyung on the bums in congratulations, giving the others a high five for the good work and as he approaches Jimin, the boy smiles and Yoongi fucks all rational thoughts to hell when he engulfs the boy in his arms and sways him from side to side.

“You’re fucking amazing for doing this for them, you know that? You’re fucking great.” Yoongi whispers into Jimin’s hair.

Yoongi can feel Jimin smile against his shoulder, arms tightening around him. “All of us are.”

And Yoongi chuckles to himself, pulling away from Jimin slightly to look him in the eye and he smiles. “I think I understand now.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “What do you understand?”

“What you’ve been telling me about love.”

“Hm.” Jimin smirks arrogantly, “Seems like I finally got Mr. I-Don’t-Believe-In-Love to find his own definition, huh?”

“Not exactly.” Yoongi says, rolling his eyes. “But I think I understand a little bit of it.”

“So,” Jimin says, pulling away and crossing his arms, “What is love, Mr. Min Yoongi?”

“Well, I think-”

“Kids, come here! Let’s take a family picture!” Seokjin announces, waving his arms for the other six to gather around him.

Jimin hurriedly takes Yoongi by the hand and drags him to the rest of the group, taking Yoongi’s DSLR camera and handing it to another student.

Taehyung throws his arms around Jungkook, giving him a wet kiss on the cheek, Jungkook puts on a look of disgust and raises his left hand which Taekook the Spider was currently sitting on, Namjoon and Seokjin stand next to them, icing on their faces, smiling the brightest Yoongi’d ever seen, Hoseok holds onto the bouquet and puts on the veil, crouching in the center and Jimin throws an arm around Yoongi’s shoulders, as Yoongi smiles and takes in his surroundings and the bright eyed boy next to him.

“Everyone, please try not to look like pieces of shits for two seconds!”

"And if it's possible, act like you still have a little bit of sanity left in your systems!"




So, what is love, Mr. Min Yoongi?

I think it’s this.

Chapter Text

“Fuck. I’m drunk in a Jasmine costume and you’re here and we’re stuck.” Jimin groans in agony, despair, pain, sinking down to the floor, burying his head between his knees. “I can’t do this. This is too much.”

“No, no, we can get out of here.” Yoongi says feeling slightly frantic, not very fond of the fact that he was currently stuck in a small space with the guy who has caused the inner turmoil over his sexuality.“I can.. Fuck, we have to get out of here. We can get out of here.”

“What do you mean we can get out of here?” Jimin whines, “The elevator literally just went all Final Destination on us and we dropped and it stopped and we’re going to die here. This is it, hyung. It’s our end.”

Yoongi releases a shaky sigh, whimpers and drops to the ground beside Jimin. “You know, ever since living with you guys, everyday I really feel like I could die.”

Jimin raises his head to glare at the boy beside him. “Well, who’s fault was it that I fucking freaked the fuck out and-”

“It’s not my fault that you freaked the fuck out!” Yoongi argues, “You could have just chosen not to run away from me!”

“So you’re telling me, this quote on quote straight guy, who moved in with us six months ago, who I have had the biggest fucking crush on during his entire damn stay, who I’ve been trying so hard to move on from, is now fucking tell me that he is not, in fact, straight, but is a noodle?”

Yoongi hums awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders. “Well. Yeah?”

“Fuck!” Jimin screams, hiding his head between his knees again. “You’re gay! Fuck! Fuck! I’m stuck in an elevator with Min Yoongi, a homosexual!”

“Oh, sure, ‘cause you’re the most heterosexual fucking guy I know!” Yoongi bites back, before groaning and throwing his head back. “This is not how I thought tonight was gonna go.”

“You think this was on my weekly planner?” Jimin asks weakly before going hysterical again, “Finding out you suddenly like boys? You fucking like boys! Fuck!”

Yoongi turns his head, giving Jimin a dead look. “I believe that is the definition of gay, yes.”

“How the fuck did you even know?” Jimin asks, still refusing to the face the boy beside him. “You tell us you’re straight, I go through emotional and mental hell and suddenly you’re gay and, fuck you, honestly-”

“Because I like you!” Yoongi screams, his voice echoing against the walls of the small elevator.

There’s a tense silence.

“Fuck!” Jimin screams again, “You gotta give me a warning before saying stuff like that to me, hyung! Jesus fucking Christ!”

Yoongi sighs, deciding he’s had enough of this shit and sits up, positioning himself in front of the balled up drunk boy, cupping the boy’s cheeks, gently moving his face up.

“How about you?” Yoongi asks, voice low and careful.

“What?” Jimin squeaks, red in the face, both from the alcohol and the embarrassment.

“Do you still happen to have that biggest fucking crush on me?”



Five days prior, 7:01 am, Yoongi Is Straight Part Two


“Kim Tae-Tae, for the fifth time, eggs are not frisbees! Neither are pancakes!” Seokjin scolds, dragging the younger by the ear, much to Taehyung’s protest.

Namjoon sips on his coffee, quietly observing their exchange. He shakes his head. “He never learns, does he?”

“He’s just happy.” Jungkook says plainly, taking a bite of his pancakes, “His parents invited the both of us to eat lunch with them next weekend.”

Everyone else in the table nearly spits.

“What?!” Hoseok asks, eyes wide as saucers. “When the fuck did this happen?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Just last night. I don’t know, hyung. They called and they sounded really apologetic and nice too.”

Yoongi emerges from the kitchen, sandwich in hand. “Maybe they saw the meaning of True Love in you guys.”

The rest of the members all but blink and turn to Namjoon accusingly.

“What have you been teaching the kid?” Seokjin asks, arms crossed.

Namjoon huffs indignantly. “I did nothing! It’s Jimin who’s been hanging around him all the time!”

“Ah,” Taehyung says, wiggling his eyebrows, “I see Jimin’s been teaching you all about True Love.”

This only earns suggestive looks from the others, an awkward chuckle from Jimin and Yoongi choking on his sandwich.

“There’s nothing going on between you guys, is there?” Seokjin asks, with a motherly voice.

Yoongi has to take a moment to remember how to speak again but Jimin beats him to it, waving his hands. “Hyung, come on, we all know he’s straight.”

Yoongi has never wanted to punch himself in the face more.

“Why did I have to go ahead on open my mouth that night?” Yoongi mumbles to himself, shoving the rest of his sandwich in his mouth, storming into his room and locking the door. He doesn’t attend any classes that day and doesn’t come out until after dinner.

“Is he okay?” Jimin asks, cocking his head, eyes landing on the door to the boy’s room.

Hoseok can only pat his back. “He’s just trying to straighten his head out.”

“He can’t straighten what’s already been bent, my friend.” Taehyung adds.


Four days prior, 10:22 pm, Yoongi Is A Burnt Noodle


“You know, for someone who has his own room on the other side of this dorm, you sure spend a lot of your time here.” Hoseok comments as he puts more clothes into his duffel bag, “We can switch you know, I wouldn’t mind having a room all to myself.”

Yoongi makes a sour face and rolls his eyes. “Mind your own business, you barely even sleep here.”

“I’m just saying,” Hoseok says raising up his hands, “If you guys want more fucky fucky time, I can-”

“Hyung, you’re older, but I am going to rip your dick off.” Jimin says, trying to sound threatening but considering the fact that he’s a living breathing marshmallow, it’s not really. Not at all.

“Don’t, Jimin.” Yoongi says blandly. “Who knows where that thing’s been?”

Hoseok throws a dildo at them and leaves the room before Yoongi can claw his eyes out and tear him limb for limb.



Yoongi doesn’t know why he still decides to do his school work with Jimin when he knows fully well that he doesn’t have the ability to concentrate when someone so damn beautiful was sitting right next to him.  He watches Jimin bite the tip of his pencil, eyebrows furrowing, a small noise of discontent escaping his lips.

Jimin had been busier. Taking phone calls, doing papers, choreographing dances. And yet, every time Jimin had the time, he’d disappear into his room, lock the door, not a single one of them having an idea what the fuck he was doing and too scared to ask. The last time, Jungkook had been traumatized for days and Seokjin was seriously considering therapy.

But Yoongi, despite it only having been six months, knew Jimin as if he’d known him his whole life. And he thinks of Taehyung and Jungkook, Tae’s parents, the lunch and he just knows, Jimin had to have something to do with it.

“Hey.” Yoongi calls out, smiling when Jimin slightly jumps at the interruption of the silence.

“What is it, hyung?” He answers.

“About the lunch at Taehyung’s place next weekend,” Yoongi starts, examining Jimin’s face for a change in expression, “Did you do something?”

Jimin hesitates for a moment and Yoongi can literally see the breath catch in his throat. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You are The World’s Worst Liar. I can’t believe.” Yoongi laughs, shaking his head.

“Hyung, please don’t tell them.” Jimin begs, hands reaching out to grab Yoongi’s. “I just really wanted his parents to be more accepting and for them to be happy and I know his parents like me so I just thought I should do something to help.”

Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “They like you?”

Jimin shrugs and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, well… Maybe they sort of don’t know about my sexual orientation.”

Yoongi’s about to protest about how unfair it is that Jimin should have to hide who he was for anyone or anything, but Jimin raises a hand to shush him and shakes his head.

“I know what you want to say. And I agree. But look, it was a long time ago, Taehyung’s parents just found out he was gay then, if they knew I was too, they wouldn’t have let me spend all that time with him anymore.”

Yoongi closes his mouth and sighs, giving Jimin a look. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Jimin crinkles his nose. “Do what?”

“How you’re…” Yoongi motions to the boy with his hands, “You know. So… you.”

Jimin blinks twice, face blank. “I’m not sure I’m following you, hyung. Try to speak human.”

“You love Taehyung so much.” Yoongi says simply. “You go all out, planning a wedding, hiding your inner rainbow…”

Jimin cocks his head in confusion. “Because I do love him so much. He’s my best friend.”

Yoongi feels a little squeeze in his chest at that and he shrugs it off as an effect of his coffee intake but he feels his heart do double backflips when Jimin continues with,

“Like how I love you. And the rest of the hyungs. I mean, if any of you were in the position Taehyung and Jungkook were in, I’d have done the same thing.” And he smiles, that fucking smile, that damn smile that always managed to throw Yoongi off.

Yoongi feels the noodle part of him take control again so he coughs awkwardly and leans away from Jimin. “So,” He starts awkwardly, “How did you and Tae become friends?”

Jimin groans and raises a hand dramatically to his head, leaning back against the headboard of his bed. “God. This story never fails to bring on a headache.”

Yoongi laughs at this and slaps Jimin on the arm. “No, come on. I wanna know.”

Jimin turns his head tiredly to look at Yoongi and sighs in defeat. “A blind date gone wrong, that’s how.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “You?” He asks, pointing to Jimin for emphasis, “And Tae?” He sticks out a thumb and points it towards the door leading to the living room.

Jimin makes a face and shakes his head fervently. “Ew, fuck, gross. No.”

“Thank god,” Yoongi says, closing his eyes momentarily, “Would’ve never gotten that image out of my head.”

“When his parents found out about him and Jungkook, they decided to set Taehyung up on all kinds of dates with girls, assuming that if he talked to more girls, he’d magically stop riding Jungkook’s dick.”

“Dude.” Yoongi says, raising a hand. “Come on. Let’s not get too graphic.”

Jimin scoffs. “As if you haven’t walked in on them… with icing and handcuffs.”

“Damn it, Park Jimin!” Yoongi wails, “It took me three weeks to get that out of my head! Three! I don’t need you bringing it up again!”

Jimin laughs and Yoongi goes weak.

“Anyway,” Jimin says, waving his hand, “Yeah, he went on this blind date. I happened to be in the same cafe. Everyone in the school knew Jungkook and Taehyung were an item so I was like, what the fuck? Is this guy cheating on his boyfriend?”

“But then while I’m spying on them, Taehyung meets my eye and he just looked so fucking frantic and helpless and I sort of just knew, without either of us having to say anything, that he needed a way out.”

“Oh my god.” Yoongi instantly reacts. “Oh god. Wait. I need to prepare myself for this. What damn stupid thing did you do?”

“I may or may not have poured water on him.” Jimin says, voice going soft. “I also accused him of sleeping with me, leaving me without a word and faking his death for two years.”

“If I heard this story from anyone else, I would be very doubtful. But this is you and right now, I cannot even look at you.” Yoongi says, burying his face in his hands. “I can still feel the secondhand embarrassment several years later.”

“That blind date thing went on for awhile…” Jimin says humming, staring at the ceiling, “I helped him out of all those messes. Once, I asked him for help because a cat stole my wallet, another time I came up to him and asked him for my weed, I think he had enough when I implied that he liked to summon dark spirits and-”

“I’ve heard quite enough.” Yoongi says monotonously, closing his eyes dramatically. “Give me two minutes of silence. I’m trying to remember why I’m friends with you.”

Yoongi means it as a joke, but when he closes his eyes, he really does end up remembering exactly why he was friends with Jimin. The boy was a year younger than him and yet he’s learned more from him than he’s ever learned in his several years of school.

It really wasn’t much. This was all it was. Jimin talked, Yoongi listened. Jimin laughed, Yoongi smiled. Jimin would teach him about love, Yoongi would teach him about music. Hours of silence, nothing but the sound of pencil against paper, fingers tapping on keyboards, the soft hum of the TV, the feel of Jimin’s head on Yoongi’s shoulder, fingers dancing across Yoongi’s arm. That was all it was. Nothing but also everything, so much, but too little all at the same time.

Yoongi opens his eyes and Jimin was staring. He should look away now, spare them both from the awkwardness, but Yoongi couldn’t.

He can hear their matched breathing. He follows Jimin’s eyes, watches as the boy stares at his lips, and Yoongi can sense how tense it was in the room but he couldn’t bring himself to stop looking and Jimin didn’t stop either, didn’t lean back but didn’t lean in either. Yoongi’s not sure which one he’d have preferred.

“Hyung,” Jimin whispers in a soft and nervous voice, “Sorry. Maybe you should do your work in your room.”

And Yoongi wants to say it. Because he knows. Fuck, he knows how Jimin feels about him. Or felt. Whatever. But whenever he got the nerve to, whenever he felt it was the right moment, every single fucking time, it felt like the words would get stuck in his throat and he physically couldn’t speak. Now, was one of those moments.

“Hyung?” Jimin repeats, now slowly leaning back. “You should go.”

Yoongi snaps back to reality and shakes his head, closing his laptop and standing. “Yeah.” Is all he can say before speeding out of the room.

When he closes the door, he leans back against it and releases a long breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. He swears he hears Jimin scream into a pillow.


Two days prior, 8:09 pm, Halloween Party Proposition


“Shouldn’t we let Yoongi hyung in on our Halloween tradition?” Jungkook asks, fiddling his fingers in his husband’s hair, said husband fast asleep on his lap.

“You guys can go on without me.” Yoongi says, eyes not leaving his notebook. “Really. I’d be more than glad to be left out.”

“Aww, come on, Yoongi!” Hoseok whines, nudging the other’s arm. “You are very no fun!” He exclaims in English, wagging a finger.

Yoongi gives him a dead look. “Your ideas of fun could get me suspended, injured, arrested or killed.”

“Hmm,” Namjoon says, tapping a pen on his notebook, “I wouldn’t say you’d die, unless you suffer from alcohol poisoning or something.”

“Dear god.” Yoongi mumbles under his breath. “Yeah, no. No thanks. It’s a no for me.”

Jimin swings the door to his room open, yawning and stretching. The rest of the boys’ heads turn to him, save for Yoongi who still couldn’t properly look him in the eye.

Jimin pauses. “What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

Seokjin skips his way to Jimin, throwing an arm around the boy. “Listen and listen carefully,” He whispers against the shell of Jimin’s ear, “We’re thinking of letting Yoongi in on our Halloween Tradition, but we have to get him aboard on the idea of coming with us to a haunted building before we add the fact that we’re going there in Disney Princess costumes.”

Jimin’s eyes widen. “We’re going as Dis-” He almost exclaims, before Seokjin raises a hand to cover the boy’s mouth urgently.

“Oh my god, Park Jimbles. Shut up. Just get him to come with us.” He half screams, half whispers.

Jimin has half a mind to run away and use the excuse that he has to use the bathroom but he also realizes that he and Yoongi were dormmates and he couldn’t run away from him forever.

“Uh,” Jimin says, slowly approaching the elder, “Hyung, I was wondering if you’d want to come with us to-”

“Okay.” Yoongi says, before his brain could process what he just said.

Jimin looks taken aback and the rest of the members stop whatever they’re doing to look at Yoongi because of the amount of injustice.

Hoseok sighs dramatically, flopping down on the couch. “Your bias is showing, Yoongi. Your bias is showing.”

The boys give him looks and Yoongi wants to scream when he sees Jimin casually munching on a Cheeto. Why can everyone tell he’s a noodle for Jimin except Jimin himself?


One day prior, 2:07 am


Yoongi’s in the middle of counting down to his demise for approximately, the seven hundredth time since he's started his life with them when there’s a knock on his door. Yoongi raises an eyebrow.

“If you’re Taehyung, you are not welcome in my room. And no, I do not have condoms.”

“Hyung, it’s me.” Jimin says in a small voice. “I just… wanted to talk.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches in his throat and he sits up. He gulps, trying to steady his voice before answering, “Yeah, yeah, you can come in”.

Jimin’s careful when he opens the door, peeking before he steps inside fully. “Did I wake you?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Jimin nods in understanding, wringing his hands together, approaching Yoongi slowly, until he’s standing at the foot of his bed. “So…” He starts awkwardly.

Yoongi shakes his head and pats on the space beside him. “C’mere.”

Jimin looks troubled for a moment and Yoongi sighs at him. “Seriously? You’re acting like we haven’t been doing this for half a year.”

He seems to think it over in his head for one more second before he chuckles and nods, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not gonna take long, I just wanted to say something quick.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow in curiosity. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry.” Jimin says, voice uncharacteristically serious and low. “I know the way I act sometimes… it might make you uncomfortable.”

Yoongi shakes his head at this. “Jimin…”

“No, hear me out, hyung.” Jimin says, voice urgent. “You’re one of my closest friends now. And… I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me. Because whatever the rest of the boys imply whenever we do anything together, I’m not letting that get to my head.”

Yoongi wants to interrupt, because it’s okay, let it get to your head, please. But Jimin’s talking so earnestly and that look in his eyes is there again and Yoongi doesn’t have the heart to stop him.

“Hyung, I hope you never have to feel uncomfortable with me. Push aside the fact that I might have implied that I liked you the first time you got here. Push aside everyone else’s teasing. No matter what, you’re still my friend. If you need to talk, you can talk to me about anything, even if it’s at four in the morning. If you need a laugh, then you can come to me and I’ll tell you lame jokes. Maybe even reveal some of the guys’ most embarrassing stories even if I might get murdered. If you’re angry, then… then I’ll be angry with you. And we’ll drink and smash bottles together. I,” Jimin punches Yoongi’s arm weakly and smiles, “- will stick to you forever. You’re stuck with me now. Because that’s what friends do. And we’re friends now, right?”

Yoongi literally wants to cry. He’s going through every possible scenario in his head and wonders if there’s a calm and subtle way to say “But I’m actually not straight and also, I like you” but he can’t figure it out and before he could think of a proper response other than a weak smile and a nod, Jimin pats Yoongi’s shoulder.

“That’s all I wanted to say.” He says, before standing up and looking back at Yoongi before swinging the door open and walking out. “Good night.”

Yoongi had been banging his head against the wall for eight minutes, thinking of a new swear word to say every few seconds, when he hears another knock on his door. His heart stops.

“Jiminnie?” He calls out cautiously.

“Sorry to disappoint, hyung. But it’s me!” Taehyung says in a bright voice, “Your favourite dongsaeng!”

“You’re not welcome in here.” Yoongi groans, “My room is not open midnight onwards. You know what they say. Nothing is open after midnight ‘cept for legs and liquor stores. And Mcdonalds.”

He can hear the boy pout from behind the door. “But you let Jiminnie in just a few minutes ago!”

“You’re not Jimin though.” Yoongi points out.

“But it’s about Jimin!” Taehyung argues, “I am concerned for the well being of my best friend.”

Yoongi mulls over it for a few more seconds. “Are you fully clothed?”

There is a pause that lasted way too long for Yoongi’s liking. “No fucking way, Kim Taehyung.”

“Okay, fine, fine. You don’t need to let me in. Just hear me out.” Taehyung pleads from outside.

Yoongi groans and rolls out of bed, rolls on the floor until he’s lying beside his door. “This better be good.”

“Hyung,” Taehyung says, voice now serious, “About Jimin… Do you like him?”

Yoongi gulps. “Well… Yeah, I do.”

“I don’t mean in a friend way, alright.” Taehyung says immediately, “I mean in a like-like way. Like, between the fuck you and I’d fuck you way. I know you said you’re straight but…”

Taehyung drifts off, and Yoongi asks, “But what?”

“Your smile.” Taehyung says, simply. “You have this… this smile.”

“My smile?” Yoongi repeats. “What about my smile?”

“No, you don’t get it.” Taehyung says, “The way you smile at Jimin, it’s different. I know that smile, hyung.”

Yoongi pauses, eyes focused on the ceiling, thinking he knows what Taehyung’s trying to say but hoping to God it’s not what he’s thinking.

“I know because that’s how Jungkookie smiles at me.” Taehyung says.

At this, Yoongi sighs and resigns. He accepts defeat, he puts down all his protective walls and closes his eyes.

“Do you like him, hyung?” Taehyung repeats.

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers quietly, but loud enough for Taehyung to hear him, “Yeah, I think I do.”

It’s silent for a moment and Yoongi thinks Taehyung might’ve left but he’s proved wrong when he hears a little shuffling sound.

“I’ll give you time to think it through.” Taehyung says, “- just please don’t hurt Jimin, okay?” He asks, in a voice that sounds so earnest that it hurts. “Good night, hyung! Sleep tight! Don’t let Taekookie bite!”

That night, Yoongi also learns a new thing about True Love. A best friend, asks for nothing more than for you to just be there. A best friend, protects you not ever asking for anything in return. It is a love and a relationship that runs deeper than any kind of love in the world.


Halloween Party, 9:03 pm, Soon To Be Abandoned Building


“I cannot fucking believe this.” Yoongi says, wiggling in his Snow White outfit beautifully designed by Seokjin. “I cannot fucking believe I let you guys do this to me. I fucking hate you all.”

Namjoon adjusts his pads and cringes. “Who’s smart idea was it to make me Cinderella?”

Jungkook and Taehyung wear their Elsa and Anna costumes proudly and link arms. “It’s cute! We’re cute!”

Yoongi grimaces at the two of them. “God, that is so wrong. This is so wrong on so many levels.”

“Shhh, stop bickering.” Seokjin says, waving his magic wand. “This is my dad’s old office building and this is what we’re going to be using for tonight’s Halloween Tradition.”

“Is it haunted?” Jimin asks, pulling up his Jasmine outfit. “Like, seriously haunted?”

“The place closes at midnight but people are usually gone by ten o’clock, since they say that they hear weird things. And that a lot of people died while making this building.” Seokjin says. “Whenever my dad worked late at night, he said he’d hear tons of eerie sounds.”

“Eerie sounds?” Hoseok clarifies, holding on tight to his fake Pocahontas hair.

“Don’t worry.” Namjoon says, flipping his wig. “When we’re drunk enough, I’m sure the ghosts will be more terrified of us.”



“Oh my fucking god.” Yoongi enunciates, as he walks through the fifth floor, Jimin close behind him. “When y’all said Halloween Tradition, I was thinking more of partying and games. Not a treasure hunt in a haunted building while..” He looks at the boy stumbling beside him now, bottle of Vodka in hand, “-trashed.”

Jimin giggles, pressing his face against Yoongi’s arm. “Hyung, you smell nice! I like it!”

“Jimin, we are not going to have this conversation while you have more Vodka than blood in your system.” Yoongi says trying to shrug the younger boy off. “Now, what are we looking for again?”

“Jin hyung’s crown.” Jimin says, words going slurry.

Yoongi groans in despair. “Never in my life did I ever think, that at one point, I would be wearing a Snow White costume, in a nearly abandoned building, looking for a damn crown, babysitting a drunk Princess Jasmine. In the dark with nothing but a flashlight and a bottle of alcohol.”

“Yet here we are!” Jimin cheers, fist pumping.

“Yes,” Yoongi says, peeking around, “Yes, unfortunately, here we are. Fuck my life.”

“Hyung,” Jimin says, once again, clinging to Yoongi’s arm, “Do you think the elevators here work?”

“Jimin, people literally just left the building a few minutes ago. I think they still work.” Yoongi says.

“Then why the hell have we been using the stairs?” Jimin asks, “My feet are hurting, hyung! Pain!”

“Because I’m scared the elevators might be broken and, hello?” Yoongi says, matter of factly, “That’s how horror movies start. I am not going to be stuck in an elevator with a drunk princess.”

“But I’m a cute drunk princess.” Jimin smiles.

“Yeah, well,” Yoongi sighs, “That too, I guess.”

“Where are the other members?” Jimin continues to whine, pressing his cheek on Yoongi’s shoulder, nuzzling into it. “It’s dark and scary and soooo quiet.”

“With you here,” Yoongi says, looking at every crook and cranny, so he could find that god damn crown and get the hell out, “- it is anything but quiet.”

Jimin chuckles, nuzzling closer. “But you love me.”

Yoongi scoffs. “Unfortunately.”

Jimin pauses a bit at this, going quiet for a moment before returning to his smiley self. “One of those times I wish that you weren’t-”

“Straight?” Yoongi finishes, “Well, you’re in luck because I’m not.”

To say that Jimin was shocked was an understatement. Yoongi feels the boy literally sober up just hearing those words. Jimin takes two steps backwards, eyes not leaving Yoongi’s face. “Say that again?”

“I’m not straight.” Yoongi sighs. “I meant to tell you earlier, but I don’t know, I was sort of having an identity crisis of some sort and I told my brother I'm straight as uncooked pasta but he said I'm cooked as shit, so maybe I am, and so I realized I'm a soggy noodle-”

Jimin raises a finger and sluggishly turns away. “I’m sorry, I need to take a moment.”

Yoongi reaches out to grab the boy, but fails when Jimin takes more steps backward and heads for the elevator. “I’m sorry, I need to-”

“Jimin, I’m telling you these elevators might not be-”

“I can’t believe you’re not straight!” Jimin says, pressing the down button. “What the- but you said- I was so- you were..”

“I know what I said!” Yoongi all but wails, “Look, I was confused and I was so sure that I was straight but then things changed-”

The elevator doors open and Jimin steps in, still seemingly in shock but Yoongi stubbornly gets in with him much to the younger’s protests.

“Hyung!” Jimin cries out.

“I am not going to let you go somewhere alone! You’re drunk!” Yoongi exclaims as the elevator doors close.

They feel the elevator bring them down as Jimin turns his back on Yoongi and Yoongi tries to coax the boy to come closer until the elevator makes a weird and loud noise that makes the two jump.

“What the fuck-”

The elevator doors open and they’re met with the view of the ground floor, and what seems to be Seokjin in his fairy godmother outfit from far away and as Yoongi is about to take a step forward and Seokjin is about to take a step closer, the elevator doors rapidly close and Jimin screams, pulling Yoongi back by the skirt of his dress.

They fall down backwards, Jimin’s back hitting the wall, Yoongi landing between Jimin’s legs.

“Fuck, ow!” Jimin groans.

“Shit, are you okay?” Yoongi asks, pulling himself up, checking on Jimin.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Hey, press the button. We need to fucking get out of here before this thing fucking kills us like it nearly fucking killed you.” Jimin says, rubbing his back.

Yoongi reaches out to press the open button, but when he does, it does nothing. Yoongi lets out a little breath of panic and presses again. And again. And again. And when nothing happens, he lets out a little sob and presses the emergency button. But nothing, fucking nothing was happening.

“Fuck.” Yoongi whispers to himself, “Fuck.”

“Jin hyung saw what happened… didn’t he?” Jimin asked softly, from the other corner of the elevator.

“Well, I’m praying to god he’s doing something about it now and not thinking of leaving us here to fuck or whatever the hell he might think we’d be doing.” Yoongi answers, running a frustrated hand through his sweaty hair. “Fuck, I can’t. We can’t fucking stay here.”

“Fuck. I’m drunk in a Jasmine costume and you’re here and we’re stuck.” Jimin groans in agony, despair, pain, sinking down to the floor, burying his head between his knees. “I can’t do this. This is too much.”

“No, no, we can get out of here.” Yoongi says feeling slightly frantic, not very fond of being stuck in small spaces with the guy who was caused the inner turmoil over his sexuality. “I can.. Fuck, we have to get out of here. We can get out of here.”

“What do you mean we can get out?” Jimin whines, “The elevator just literally went all Final Destination on us and we dropped and it stopped and we’re going to die here. This is it, hyung. It’s our end.”

Yoongi releases a shaky sigh, whimpers and drops to the ground beside Jimin. “You know, ever since living with you guys, everyday I really feel like I could die.”

Jimin raises his head to glare at the boy beside him. “Well, who’s fault was it that I fucking freaked the fuck out and-”

“It’s not my fault that you freaked the fuck out!” Yoongi argues, “You could have just chosen not to run away from me!”

“So you’re telling me, this quote on quote straight guy, who moved in with us six months ago, who I have had the biggest fucking crush on during his entire damn stay, who I’ve been trying so hard to move on from, is now fucking tell me that he is not, in fact, straight, but is a noodle?”

Yoongi hums awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders. “Well. Yeah?”

“Fuck!” Jimin screams, hiding his head between his knees again. “You’re gay! Fuck! Fuck! I’m stuck in an elevator with Min Yoongi, a homosexual!”

“Oh, sure, ‘cause you’re the most heterosexual fucking guy I know!” Yoongi bites back, before groaning and throwing his head back. “This is not how I thought tonight was gonna go.”

“You think this was on my weekly planner?” Jimin asks weakly before going hysterical again, “Finding out you suddenly like boys? You fucking like boys! Fuck!”

Yoongi turns his head, giving Jimin a dead look. “I believe that is the definition of gay, yes.”

“How the fuck did you even know?” Jimin asks, still refusing to the face the boy beside him. “You tell us you’re straight, I go through emotional and mental hell and suddenly you’re gay and, fuck you, honestly-”

“Because I like you!” Yoongi screams, his voice echoing against the walls of the small elevator.

There’s a tense silence.

“Fuck!” Jimin screams again, “You gotta give me a warning before saying stuff like that to me, hyung! Jesus fucking Christ!”

Yoongi sighs, deciding he’s had enough of this shit and sits up, positioning himself in front of the balled up drunk boy, cupping the boy’s cheeks, gently moving his face up.

“How about you?” Yoongi asks, voice low and careful.

“What?” Jimin squeaks, red in the face, both from the alcohol and the embarrassment.

“Do you still happen to have that biggest fucking crush on me?”

Jimin’s breath hitches in his throat, eyes meeting Yoongi’s, his gaze so intense it could cut ice. Face so close that all Jimin had to do was tilt his head a little to kiss him.

And Jimin is scared, confused, drunk and in a damn Princess outfit but fuck him if he hadn’t been waiting for this moment ever since the first time he and Yoongi had met.

“Yeah.” He whispers against Yoongi’s mouth.

“Well, shit.” Yoongi says, a small smile playing on his lips. "That's fucking good then."

And that’s all it takes. Jimin tentatively leans forward, carefully pressing his lips against Yoongi’s, and he makes a little sound from the back of his throat. Jimin raises a hand to run it through Yoongi's hair, using it as leverage to deepen the kiss.

Jimin leans forward some more, nearly sitting on Yoongi’s lap, and Yoongi raises his own hands to hold onto Jimin's waist.

The kiss deepens, Yoongi bites Jimin’s bottom lip asking for entrance and Jimin complies, and god, Yoongi wonders why he hasn’t said anything earlier because they could have been doing this all this time and-

“Wait, wait, wait” Jimin says, gently pushing Yoongi away, “Hah. If I’m too much I’m sorry. Sorry, I’m too drunk.”

There’s a small pause, Jimin on top of Yoongi, red in the face, bottom lip swollen, hair all tousled up and Yoongi shakes his head.

“Sorry,” He whispers into Jimin’s mouth before leaning in to kiss him again, “But I’m too sober.”

It’s at that moment that the elevator doors choose to open and the cast of Disney On Ice stood outside, staring at the two with scandalized faces.

It only took half a second for Jimin to fly off Yoongi’s lap and for Yoongi to cough, directing his gaze to the wall.

The other five, cross their arms, along with a traumatized security guard holding a crown.

“Huh.” Taehyung says. “I guess Yoongi hyung showed Jiminnie… A Whole New World.”

“Fucking jesus.” Yoongi mumbles, standing up and pulling Jimin up with him in the process. “We’re not speaking of this. Ever.” He says with a glare, Jimin’s hand in his as they step out of the elevator.

As they walk out the building, Hoseok giggles, “I guess it’s not only a magic carpet he’ll be riding tonight.”

“Jung Hoseok, I fucking swear to Satan.” Yoongi bites out.

“That is not the sort of language that should come out of a princess’ mouth.”

“Shut up if you don’t want a fucking fist in yours.”

Chapter Text

“Guys, this is my little brother, Lee Jihoon.” Yoongi announces, motioning to the purple haired boy beside him.

Jihoon bows, flashing the six other boys a bright smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Taehyung blinks, slightly taken aback. The rest of the members share the same facial expression. “Huh.”

"What?" Yoongi asks, concerned.

Taehyung reaches out to touch Jihoon’s face. He gasps. “It’s… Mini Yoongi!”

“Not this shit again.” Jihoon mumbles.


Six days prior, 12:08 am


“Could you stop being annoying bitches for one fucking second?” Yoongi bites out.

Yoongi tried to ignore the looks his friends were giving him. He really did. But one can only take so much when Taehyung and Jungkook were whispering things like “Park Jimin? More like Fuck Jimin” into your ear.

“We’re not even doing anything.” Jungkook says, pouting, looking scarred.

“No?” Yoongi says, raising his eyebrows. “So you’re telling me you haven’t been hinting how flexible Jimin is to me for the past fifteen minutes?”

“We’re just saying, hyung,” Taehyung says, raising his hands, “He can do the splits, hyung. He can split.”

“If you keep this up, you know what else will split?”

Safe to say, Jungkook and Taehyung scamper off to their own bedrooms.

Yoongi looks to his right and sees Jimin sleeping soundly. It’d been roughly two months since Yoongi and Hoseok had switched rooms. Honestly, Yoongi didn’t even have much of a say in it. One day, he’d just come home from class and suddenly all his things were in the room across his and Hoseok was posed seductively on his (former) bed, now covered in Hoseok’s own bright green bed sheets.

“Jung Hoseok, what the fuck are you trying to do?”

“You can’t say no, hyung,” Hoseok says, wagging his finger, “I already jerked off here.”

Yoongi didn’t need to be convinced any further.

According to the masses, this had been decided for easier access when it came to fucky fucky time, but thing is, they were yet to do the fucky fucky deed.

Not that they didn’t want to, of course, but there was never a good time for it. Whenever things were getting heated, someone would wildly knock on the door talking about the start of a Pancake War of some sort or they’d hear screams from the living room and they’d only hope that no one was either dead or dying. Also, Jungkook and Taehyung (with a little help from Namjoon and Seokjin) had finished up Yoongi’s supply of condoms.

Yoongi sighs, putting his laptop down, heading over to Jimin’s bed, pressing a soft kiss on the sleeping boy’s forehead.

Jimin stirs in his sleep and makes a little noise, pressing his face into Yoongi’s hand on his cheek.

“Yoongi hyung?” Jimin mumbles, his eyes fluttering open, heavy with sleep.

Yoongi smiles and asks the boy to scoot over, pulling the blanket over himself. “Hey.”

Jimin smiles a little, throwing an arm around Yoongi. “Done with work?”

“Work can wait.” Yoongi answers, raising a hand to stroke Jimin’s hair. “We haven’t had any time to ourselves these days.”

Jimin sighs in reply, jutting out his lips again. “S’been busy. School work and shit. Jin hyung graduating and moving out.”

Yoongi had almost forgotten. And almost wished he never had to remember. Without Seokjin, he didn’t know how the rest of them would function. Without Seokjin, it wouldn’t be a dorm at all. It’d be a zoo with unkempt, unfed animals. And he ain't just talking about the spiders.

He sighs. “Right. He’s graduating, huh.”

Jimin makes a sad little sound at that. “Without him, that means Namjoon hyung will take over and I can’t trust him with food.”

Yoongi smirks. “Jimin, we don’t trust him with anything breakable or sharp. Our dorm is practically baby proof for his sake.”

Jimin laughs at this. “I’m worried about him though.”

Yoongi nods. “I’m worried about him everyday. I mean, really, when a guy’s life seems to be threatened every-”

“No, hyung, I mean,” Jimin cuts him off, “- since Jin hyung’s graduating. I’m worried about him.”

Yoongi can’t help the smile that materializes on his lips, shaking his head, fondly ruffling the top of his head. “They’ll be fine.”

Jimin raises his eyebrows at this. “Wow, hyung. Didn’t expect that from you.”

Yoongi leans back, putting on an offended face. “What do you mean by that?”

“Just a couple months ago, you were like… allergic to love.” Jimin jokes, lips turning upwards.

“Not allergic,” Yoongi corrects, “- just inexperienced.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Yoongi's hands tangled in Jimin’s hair, Jimin’s face nuzzled in the crook of Yoongi’s neck, breathing in his scent.

“You think they’ll make it?” Jimin asks quietly, breaking the silence. “Namjoon hyung and Jin hyung, I mean.”

Yoongi mulls it over for a moment before talking. “I think that we can never be certain.” He says honestly, “- but with a love as honest as theirs, no matter what happens, I believe that they’ll have something beautiful that they can bring with them for a lifetime.”

Jimin smiles at this but nods. “You’re right,” He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, “But distance sure is gonna suck, huh?”

Yoongi can’t help but agree with that. “Makes you wonder how strong a love has to be to withstand it.”

“I’d love to start another True Love Session, but I’m all out of answers.” Jimin jokes.

“I don’t need answers,” Yoongi laughs turning his head to look at the boy, “- I’ll be learning it firsthand from now on.”


Five days prior, 8:32, Family Dinners


“Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin, feet off the couch!” Seokjin scolds, slapping their legs with a towel, “I just cleaned. I don’t need another episode of The Flying Fish War.”

“Fish?” Namjoon asked, “I thought they just did pancakes and eggs.”

“It’s come to my attention that if you use fish to hit a person’s head, it causes actual pain.” Taehyung says simply, jumping off the couch. “So Jimin and I have made a decision that we’ll be using fish as well from now on.”

Everyone else in the room groans in agony.

“Why can’t we all just eat like regular people for once, huh?” Seokjin pleads.

“We could,” Hoseok says, staring as Taehyung and Jimin fight with fish on their way to the dinner table, “- but that wouldn’t be us.”

“Five days from now.” Yoongi joins in the conversation suddenly, “- my brother’s coming over.”

He’d said that to make sure they’d be on their best behaviour when the day came, but when he sees the looks on their faces, he feels he’s just made everything ten times worse.

“Your brother?” Jungkook asks excitedly, “How old is he? Is he like you? Or is he nicer?”

“If he were like Yoongi hyung, that’d be pretty fucking adorable, don’t you think?” Jimin comments, “A younger, smaller, cuter Yoongi who’s less dead inside.”

“Hey, I-”

Yoongi’s cut off by Hoseok, “Actually, what if he looked like Yoongi hyung but only inherited the good things about him?”

“The only thing I like about Yoongi hyung is that mood he gets in when he’s lazy and tired.” Taehyung says, “- you know, that one where he’s too tired to even cuss us out and all he does is whine and cuddle Jimin.”

Everyone hums in agreement at this and Yoongi wants to die. Right there. Die.

“He really is cute when he's like that!” Seokjin says, practically gushing. “I like to call it his Sleepy Cat mode.”

“Please never say those words referring to me ever again.” Yoongi groans, rubbing his temples. “I want to eat dinner without having to throw it back up.”

“So,” Namjoon says, suddenly interested as well. “What’s he like?”

“What food does he like?” Seokjin asks, clapping his hands, “So I can cook it for him.”

“Does he happen to watch anime?” Taehyung asks, rubbing his chin, “- or maybe read manga.”

The questions keep piling up and Yoongi knows he has to say something big to make it all stop.

“He’s smaller than Jimin!” He announces and everyone goes quiet.

It lasts all but three seconds.

“A cinnamon roll!” Seokjin cries out dramatically, “An actual bean!”

"I can't believe we'll have someone smaller than me in this house!" Jimin cries out in glee.

Yoongi takes it upon himself to send his little brother a warning message.


Yoongi Hyung

[Today, 8:52 pm]

Jihoon-ah, if you don’t come after all, I won’t be too disappointed.



[Today, 8:54 pm]

Don’t be ridiculous, hyung. I want to meet your weird friends and the boy who’s got you wrapped around his finger.


Yoongi Hyung

[Today, 8:58 pm]

They were being really weird about it. What’s your favourite food?



[Today, 9:01 pm]



Yoongi Hyung

[Today, 9:02 pm]

I should’ve warned them about you instead of the other way around.



[Today, 9:04 pm]

Did you brag about your amazing little brother?


Yoongi Hyung

[Today, 9:05 pm]

Told them how short you are.



[Today, 9:10 pm]

You wound me.


Yoongi Hyung

[Today, 9:12 pm]

I love you too.


Yoongi Hyung

[Today, 9:16 pm]

If you get scarred mentally, don’t blame me.



[Today, 9:17 pm]

Having you as a brother prepared me well.


“Who are you talking to, hyung?” Jimin asks, resting his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder.

Yoongi instantly brings his phone down and huffs. “If my brother stresses you guys out, don’t blame me. He’s a tiny Satan.”

Hoseok waves his hand. “Having you as our dorm mate prepared us well.”

And it dawns on Yoongi. The true reason why he didn’t want his friends and his brother to meet. Because he knew deep deep down, they’d get along and join forces to ruin his entire life.


Four days prior, 10:12 pm, Talk With the Husbands


“Yoongi hyung, why are there two spiders side by side at the foot of your bed right now?” Jimin asks.

Yoongi groans. “Taekook?”

Jimin looks up at Yoongi with a serious face. “Marriage changed Taehyung and Jungkook.”

“Guys,” Yoongi says, carefully putting Taekook and Moonie back in their home in the married couple's room, “- I’m used to them and all, but I still don’t appreciate them going on fucking walks. Alone. If you want to let your babies walk, walk with them."

“We’re in the process of teaching them all about independence.” Taehyung argues, “Taekook needs to learn how to be an adult now.”

Yoongi blinks. “I’m not sure your child spiders understand what it is their human parents what them to achieve, but you know, I’m not a parent, so what do I know?”

Jungkook laughs at this, motioning for Yoongi to sit down on their bed. “Hyung, come here, we never get to talk to you anymore.”

Yoongi makes a face but gives in to their maknae. “We’re dormmates, we talk everyday.”

“Yeah, but like,” Taehyung waves his hands in the air, “- you never talk to us about Jimin and you. Plus, we don’t know a thing about your family and brother!”

Yoongi groans. “My family’s a long story. I’d rather Jihoon tell you guys about that, he’s better at it.”

The two boys pout but relent. “How about Jimin then?” Taehyung asks, “How many months has it been? Two? Three? Have you guys had sex?”

Yoongi nearly chokes on his spit. “Why are you all so interested in our sex lives? Why do you have to go all up in our business like this? Learning when to shut up is a useful skill.”

“Oh my god, you haven’t.” Jungkook says factually, eyes widening. “Holy fuck, you haven’t had sex yet.”

And Yoongi explodes. “You think I don’t want to? I’m not you guys, it’s fucking weird for me to have sex when we live with five other people!”

“It’s not like we’ll listen in on you, that’s gross!” Jungkook grimaces, “- besides, we all have ear plugs for a reason.”

“What are those anyway, does Jin hyung do that to everyone?” Yoongi asks.

“He believes we are all grown men who have experience in various levels of sexual intimacy. Levels that he has probably never even thought of. We have all shared, heard and seen a lot of things and we have all been victims at one point. We should be used to it. And yet every time, we still question our sanity and pray for the well-being of everyone in the dorm. For the sake of our mental health, ear plugs became a welcoming gift.”

“Jeon Jungkook, you have no right to be talking about this.” Yoongi exclaims, “I woke up at two in the morning for a glass of water and caught you guys doing it in the fucking dining room! With icing! And handcuffs! In a place where we dine! What were you doing!”

“Hey, in our defense, we were drunk and horny!” Taehyung argues.

“Taehyung, that’s your entire life.” Yoongi says monotonously.

Taehyung tries to argue, but is shut up when his boyfriend pats him on the head and says, “You can’t deny the fact that there’s some truth in that statement.”

Taehyung huffs. “You know what, let’s just ask something that won’t lead to me being attacked. So hyung, how do you feel about your brother meeting your boyfriend?”

Yoongi mulls over this thought for a few seconds. He didn’t really think much of it. Jihoon had always been accepting and they’d always been close. He couldn’t imagine things going bad at all.

“I think it’s gonna be weird for me, but they’ll get along just fine.” Yoongi says confidently. “Jihoon… he’s my brother. And Jimin’s amazing.”

He looks at the two boys and gives them a look of pure distaste. “Why are you both looking at me like that? I feel violated.”

“It’s so nice seeing you all smitten.” Taehyung teases, pinching Yoongi’s cheek leading Jungkook to do the same.

“Do that again and I’ll burn both your bodies and spread your ashes all over your spiders’ tank.”

Jungkook and Taehyung pull their hands back almost instantly.

“But anyway, hyung,” Taehyung says sighing contentedly, “- it’s the awesomest thing in the entire world when anyone from your family approves of the love of your life.”

Yoongi smiles, despite himself. “I’m really happy for you guys.”

The two boys smile back at him. “We can’t wait to meet your brother, hyung. We have all kinds of stories to tell him!”

Yoongi’s smile couldn’t have disappeared faster.


Two days prior, 3:02 am, Sexy Time (Almost)


Contrary to popular belief, Jimin and Yoongi weren’t completely innocent. They may not have done the deed yet, but they did do things. And by things, meaning. What was happening at that very moment.

This would not be the first time Yoongi’s dick had been in Jimin’s mouth. And yet everytime, it feels like it is. It’s always just as good, Jimin’s always just as beautiful and Yoongi still, just like every other time, tries so hard to keep himself quiet.

“Fuck.” Yoongi groans, body starting to quiver and he knew he was on the brink of an orgasm. Fingertips press against Yoongi’s hipbones, keeping him still when Yoongi starts to squirm. “Fuck, keep going, fuck, please-”

Jimin licks the tip, lapping up all the precome, fingers still pressed hard against Yoongi’s skin and he’s sure it’s going to leave bruises. Jimin hums, the vibrations shooting straight through Yoongi’s cock and Yoongi throws his head back against the headboard.

“Fuck, I-” Yoongi breathes out, combing Jimin’s hair back before yanking him backward weakly but Jimin only insistently sucks harder, making a low noise from the back of his throat, “Fuck, Jimin, I’m gonna-”

Yoongi swears, trying not to thrust too hard into Jimin’s mouth. “Jimin-”

It feels like it’s been both hours and seconds when he shoots his load into Jimin’s mouth, chest heaving, body shaking, completely fucking spent.

He groans tiredly, as Jimin milks him through it until he’s twitching in his hands.

Yoongi grabs him and yanks him up, pressing his lips against his. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?”

“Me?” Jimin whispers against his lips, “You’re not the one who just saw yourself come, babe.”

Yoongi breathes hard against Jimin’s lips and presses their foreheads together. “You have condoms?”

Jimin blinks. “You wanna?”

“Do you?”

“What-” Jimin says, “Well, fuck, of course I do. Why am I even hesitating?” Jimin says, before hurriedly rummaging through his bedside table. “Okay, let’s-”

“Jin hyung!” Hoseok screams from the living room, “Why are there five cats in our living room?!”

Jimin and Yoongi pause.

“The mood’s ruined, isn’t it?” Yoongi mumbles.

“At this point, I’m really curious as to why there are five cats in our living room and also, highly concerned about it.” Jimin answers.

“I hate this damn household.” Yoongi mumbles, putting his pants back on, “- if those cats aren’t damn cute, I’m gonna throw a fit.”

Ten minutes later, Yoongi is begrudgingly on the floor, surrounded by five cats.

“Hyung, they love you!” Jimin squeals as one of the cats nuzzle against Yoongi’s knee.

Yoongi sighs and resigns, patting the cat’s head. “What can I say? I’m one of them.”

“Yes, I know it was irresponsible of us to leave our door open, I understand that, Mr. Bang,” Seokjin says through the phone, “- but I think the issue is that the room next to us just adopted five cats.”

One of the cats let out a little ‘murp’ nudging it’s tiny little head into Yoongi’s hand.

Yoongi picks it up and kisses it’s head. “Fuck you. You adorable little cockblocks.”

“Jimin, why are you holding a bottle of lube?” Taehyung points out.

Jimin turns red and pounces for his friend.

Yoongi looks to his side and whispers against Hoseok’s ear, “This is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone use a bottle of lube as a weapon.”

Hoseok pats his back. “Well. Obviously, you haven’t been in this school long enough.”


Jihoon’s Visit, 11:34 pm


“Guys, this is my little brother, Jihoon.” Yoongi announces, motioning to the purple haired boy beside him.

Jihoon bows, flashing the six other boys a bright smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Taehyung blinks, slightly taken aback. The rest of the members share the same facial expression. “Huh.”

“What?” Yoongi asks, concerned.

Taehyung reaches out to touch Jihoon’s face. He gasps. “It’s… Mini Yoongi!”

“Not this shit again.” Jihoon mumbles.

Yoongi chuckles at this and pats his little brother’s head. “I told you, didn’t I? Now, come on, sit down. How was last day of class?”

“Well,” Jihoon says, shrugging his coat off, “- we had a surprise quiz.”

Yoongi hums. “So how was it?”

“I was really surprised.”

Yoongi is about to talk to his brother about the importance of education and taking school seriously before he’s cut off by Seokjin.

“So!” Seokjin starts, “Jihoon, right? I’m Kim Seokjin, the oldest one here. I’m sure you’ve heard great things about me from your brother.”

“Well,” Jihoon starts, “- for one, he refers to you as his mom and the God who gave him ear plugs.”

Seokjin blinks and looks at Yoongi. “I’d protest and say I’m so much more than just that, but I agree.”

“I’m Namjoon,” Namjoon starts, bringing out a hand for him to shake, “This Mom hyung’s boyfriend and also the only person in this household who uses his brain for the great good.”

“Hyung,” Jimin protests, “- just thirty minutes ago, you tried to cook something to help Jin hyung and you fucked up and burned your finger.”

“Its was a small mistake!” He argues.

“Your small mistake ate a damn hole through my frying pan.” Seokjin points out.

Jihoon stifles a laugh. “All hyung told me about you was that I should keep at least a three meter distance.”

“Son of a bitch.” Namjoon says, directing his gaze to Yoongi, who all but shrugged his shoulders.

“I am simply ensuring the safety of my little brother. Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m Hoseok hyung!” Hoseok says brightly, patting Jihoon’s lap fondly. “I’m your brother’s best friend!”

“Ah,” Jihoon says, as if a light bulb had just appeared over his head, “Jerked off on his bed?”

If it were anyone else, they’d probably at least turn red and show some shame. But this is Jung Hoseok.

“The one and the only.” He said proudly, bowing his head.

“I’m Jungkook, the youngest here,” Jungkook says, reaching out a hand for Jihoon to shake, “- and the one on the other side of the room who is hula hooping, that’s unfortunately, my boyfriend, Taehyung.”

Jihoon directs his attention to the said boy, facing the television which had My Humps playing.

“Tae, can you please come over and greet our guest properly?” Seokjin nags.

“Just a minute, hyung.” Taehyung says, holding up a finger, “- I’m doing something really important right now.”

“And this,” Yoongi says, putting a hand on top of Jimin’s head, “- is Park Jimin.”

Jihoon smiles brightly. “I’m so happy to see the man who made my brother stop being so fake.”

Jimin smiles just as bright. “I’m happy to see the boy who told his brother he was a noodle.”

“So,” Seokjin asks, bringing plates onto the table, “- what brings you to your brother’s school?”

Jihoon shrugs. “Well, I actually live in Daegu, but we have a long break so I thought I’d pay my brother a visit and stroll around with my friends from Seoul, you know, get to know the city.”

“Daegu?” Seokjin asks looking at Yoongi, “- but I thought you said you and your dad lived in Seoul?”

“Well,” Yoongi says, scratching the back of his head, “- yeah, but Jihoon lives in Daegu.”

“Really, hyung?” Jihoon scolds, “An entire school year together and you couldn’t tell them?”

“Well, it’s not like we sit around in a circle and talk about sob stories while roasting marshmallows!” Yoongi argues. “Besides, you tell the family stuff, remember? Your job.”

Jihoon groans. “What damn story? How hard is it to say that our parents are divorced?”

“Your parents are divorced?” Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungkook ask altogether.

“Don’t overreact, it hasn’t affected either of us,” Yoongi assures them, “- and plus, the conversation never really came up, you know? What do you expect me to say? ‘Good morning guys, my parents are divorced.’”

“Obviously not, but-”

As Jihoon’s about to argue, Seokjin raises a hand. “Okay, kids, that’s enough.” He turns to look at Jihoon, “- so your last name isn’t Min?”

“Lee.” Jihoon answers, “I’m Lee Jihoon.”

“How come you never told me anything?” Taehyung asks, looking at Jimin, “You knew all this time, didn’t you?”

Jimin sputters. “How is this my story to tell? Who goes around telling people about their boyfriend’s life stories?”

“We promised we’d tell each other everything!” Taehyung exclaims, indignantly.

“Well, you promised you wouldn’t fuck Jungkook against our dinner table anymore, but woopee. Welcome to the real world, Kim Taehyung!”

Jihoon instantly pushes himself further away from the table, now wondering about what other places of the room they’d probably fucked on. “Maybe we should talk outside of the room?"

“No,” Yoongi says instantly, shuddering at the thought of his brother meeting the rest of the students, “- there are horrible people out there.”

“Hyung, there are horrible people in here.” Jihoon answers.

“Look at that, he’s exactly like you.” Namjoon points out.



Everything calms down, Taehyung and Jungkook talk about the story of their spiders, Jimin sits next to Jihoon and plays with his purple hair, Seokjin quietly sips on his coffee, and Yoongi and Namjoon take it upon themselves to do the dishes.

“Your little brother’s hitting it off well with everyone.” Namjoon comments.

Yoongi chuckles. “He’s always been a social butterfly.”

“Damn,” Namjoon whistles, “What happened to you then?”

Yoongi shoves him playfully. “Shut the fuck up.”

As they finish cleaning up, they head towards the living room together, until Yoongi suddenly pauses, when he hears Jihoon say his name.

“Yoongi hyung’s awesome.” He hears. Yoongi blinks in surprise. He never thought he’d hear that come out of his brother’s lips. “We haven’t lived together in a long time but I remember whenever our parents would fight, he’d let me in his room and lend me his earphones so I wouldn’t hear.”

Yoongi remembers this clearly. And he tries to ignore the look Namjoon was currently giving him.

Jihoon then turns to Jimin and smiles at him, “I hope you and hyung take care of each other well. I think you’re really good for him.”

Yoongi watches Jimin’s eyes soften and he nods. “I’ll take care of him well.”

Yoongi feels his heart squeeze in his chest and he feels a hand squeeze his shoulder. “It’s nice that you still look out for each other like that despite the distance.”

Yoongi turns to look at Namjoon then back to his little brother and his friends, and realizes he’s learned another thing about True Love. “Yeah. It is.”

Yoongi pats Namjoon’s back. “You guys will be okay.”

And Namjoon knows what he’s talking about. Who he’s talking about and Namjoon smiles weakly. “Yeah?”

Yoongi nods confidently. “I don’t think any kind of distance can sever this sort of thing, you know?”

Namjoon chuckles at this. “Jimin’s ruined you.”

Yoongi groans. “I know right?”



“You should really think of transferring with us next year.” Jungkook says, already so cozy with Jihoon, taking a picture of the boy for his contact icon.

“Seriously,” Taehyung adds, in the middle of exchanging numbers with him, “- with Jin hyung gone we’ll be lonely and hungry, so since you can cook…”

Jihoon sighs dramatically. “You just want me for my cooking skills.”

“So you know how I feel.” Seokjin groans. “Hope we see you soon again, Jihoon-ah.”

Jihoon smiles at everyone. “I’ll actually think about transferring here just to room with you guys.” He says, “- besides,”

He pauses a little before saying in a soft voice, “it’d be nice to live with Yoongi hyung again.”

The others coo in endearment and Yoongi can’t help the sudden burst of affection for his brother. He raises a hand to tousle his hair and kiss the top of his head. “Want me to bring you back to your hotel?”

“Actually, hyung,” Jihoon says, “I have a plan about the… hotel. If it’s okay with the other hyungs.”

Yoongi raises his eyebrows along with the rest of his friends. “What plan?”

“I’m giving you and Jimin hyung,” He says motioning to the shocked orange haired boy, “- my room.”

There’s a short pause.

“Oh thank God.” Hoseok groans out loud.

“You have the greatest brother in the world.” Taehyung says.

“I can take your room for tonight and you take my hotel room.” Jihoon says, fishing something out from his coat pocket and brings out a room key.

He hands it to Yoongi who has turned still. “Y… you’re giving me your room?”

“What? You don’t want it?” Jihoon asks, raising his eyebrows, “Cause you know, I can always take it back-”

Jimin and Yoongi grab the boy and envelope him in a bone crushing hug.

“You are officially my favourite person in the family.” Yoongi announces.

“I’ve always been your favourite person in the family.” Jihoon argues.

“Yeah, well,” Yoongi shrugs, “Whatever. Jimin, go pack.”

The boy salutes and speeds into their room.

The rest of the members give the brothers their own time to talk and they’re silent for a moment until Jihoon breaks the silence,

“I like them.” He says quietly, “I like Jimin hyung a lot too.”

Yoongi smiles. “Me too.”

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Jihoon asks, softly, searching for something in his brother’s face.

All Yoongi manages to say is, “Yeah”.

But whatever it is Jihoon was looking for, he seems to have found it.

“I’m happy for you.” Jihoon says, staring at his feet. “You look happy.”

“He’s good to me.” Yoongi says.

“He better be.” Jihoon mumbles, “Lending you two my damn room. Get room service to clean up when you’re done, okay? Fuck.”


Sexy Time Finally, 3:42 am


They waste literally no time. It’s the first time they actually know they can do it uninterrupted and holy fucking god, how long have they been waiting for this?

Yoongi pushes Jimin down onto the bed the minute they drop their duffel bags to the floor, hips pressed urgently against the other’s crotch. He nibbles on Jimin’s ear and slowly raises his shirt up, to flick his tongue against Jimin’s nipple and the other has to bite his bottom lip to stop from groaning.

And then they’re kissing, warm and soft, just like always, Jimin's tongue capable of fucking wonders that Yoongi feels blessed by the Gods that he was the one who got to see this and experience this and feel this. And god, he was feeling it.

“Wow,” Jimin says, arching his hips a little so Yoongi can take his jeans off easier. Yoongi manages to take off both his pants and shirt in record time, before straddling him and ridding himself of his own shirt.

“Wow yourself.” Yoongi breathes out, rocking his hips slowly, a little noise of satisfaction escaping his lips every time he did.

“You beautiful, hot fucking... asshole.” Jimin sighs, reaching up to grab Yoongi’s shoulders. He practically moans the last words because Yoongi rolls down teasingly and Jimin wants to rip his damn jeans off him.

“I know, right?” Yoongi jokes, leaning down to suck on Jimin’s nipple, hands travelling down Jimin’s torso, erection pressed against his stomach.

“Hey,” Jimin whispers, “- remember the last time I sucked your dick and I never got to get off?”

Yoongi scoffs. “Yeah, you know, I’m fucking getting there.”

Yoongi scooches downwards, Jimin folding his underwear down so his cock peeks up over it. Yoongi’s seen it before, but god, Jimin always took his breath away. Always. Every single fucking time.

Jimin leans back on the bed, spreading his legs (the maknaes were right, he was pretty fucking flexible), and Yoongi scoots down until his head is right between his thighs. He tugs the underwear down a little further, until Jimin's cock springs out, free from the underwear, slapping his stomach. Yoongi darts his tongue out and brings it to his lips.

He works his tongue around the head of Jimin's cock, sucking and lapping at it, using all the knowledge he knew on sucking dick. Jimin groans above him.

“Fuck,” Jimin groans, grabbing a fistful of Yoongi’s hair. “I know you’ve fucked boys in high school and shit. But. How many boys did you sleep with? You’re always so fucking good at this, shit.”

“S'been a couple years.” Jimin's praise goes straight to his cock. He grips Jimin’s thighs as tightly as he could, being sure to leave marks, lapping at his cock, sliding his tongue up and down the shaft, sure to kiss the underside as well.

Jimin has said swear words Yoongi had never heard of in his life so he’s pretty sure he’s doing well. He wraps his lips around Jimin’s cock again, pushing down until it hit the back of his throat, triggering his gag reflex, but Jimin arches his back and gasps out his name.

“Really fucking close.” Jimin gasps out, rocking his hips. Yoongi continues, humming in understanding. “Fuck, so close.” Jimin grabs Yoongi’s hair and pulls him back.

“Not yet. I want to come while you’re inside me.”

“Fuck, you’re hot. Okay, okay, damn.” Yoongi pushes himself up as Jimin stretches his legs farther than Yoongi thought he could and Yoongi is really grateful for his life right now, wow.

Yoongi reaches his hands down, massaging Jimin’s thighs, making the boy shiver.

“Alright,” Yoongi says finally ridding himself of his damn jeans and straddling Jimin, pulling his own underwear down, “Use your spit.”

When Yoongi scooches closer towards Jimin’s face, the boy wastes no time. Jimin licks and sucks both of Yoongi’s balls into his mouth.

Yoongi fucking whines, and Jimin swallows around his balls and Yoongi, for the first time, knows he doesn’t have to force himself to be quiet. He lets out a loud, keening moan, gripping onto Jimin’s orange hair, hoping he knows it means "Move if you don’t want me to fucking shoot all over you.”

He does know what it means and he pulls away, breathing hard. “Alright. Fuck. We’re doing this.”

Yoongi leaves the bed for a second to open his duffel bag and pulls out a little box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

“Turn around.” Yoongi commands breathlessly and Jimin follows, hiding his face into the sheets, his ass perked up in the air.

Jimin waits, and waits a little more, until he feels Yoongi’s finger in him and he bites at the bedsheets when he feels Yoongi’s hand on his cock.

“Fuck.” Jimin groans, pressing his face into the bedsheet more, rocking backwards. “Fuck, god, it’s been so long-”

“Hyung-” Jimin cries, as Yoongi presses another finger in, then another, playing with the rim, and after a few minutes, hitting the glorious spot that had Jimin’s head spinning, curling his fingers.

“Please,” Jimin begs. He’s turned on, on the edge and has been waiting for this for the past three months, yet all he can do is fucking beg. “Please just-”

“Please what?” Yoongi breathes, playing with Jimin’s nipples with his free hand.

“Fuck me, you fucking- fucking noodle!” Jimin sputters out, “Just do it! Mount me! Own me! Fuck! Just do it!”

“Pushy shit.” Yoongi mutters, shaking his head and laughing, but pulling his fingers out and taking mercy on Jimin because, fuck, he’d been waiting for so long.

Yoongi fumbles for a condom, ripping the packet open. He gives Jimin the lubed condom and the boy turns around, pinching the tip and expertly rolling it down Yoongi’s cock.

“Okay, now fucking fuck m-”

He’s cut off when Yoongi really does get to the fucking, and Jimin’s hands fly to the headboard, Yoongi’s back, the sheets, everything he could reach, as his lower body jerks and all that come out of his mouth, being swear words or gibberish.

“Jesus fuck,” Jimin moans. He hoists his knees back until they’re touching his shoulders and ain’t that the hottest damn thing Yoongi had ever seen in his life. “Fuck, harder, please-”

And Yoongi pulls out and pushes back in over and over again, leaning down to press their lips together, leans down to kiss his forehead, nose, eyelids, cheeks, everything his mouth could reach.

“Fuck, yes, right there-” Jimin moans, raising his hips so Yoongi can thrust deeper, and Yoongi runs his fingers down Jimin’s thigh, pressing his entire body against Jimin.

Yoongi thrusts especially hard, hitting that fucking glorious spot, Jimin tightens impossibly and Yoongi moans, high pitched and keening, his forehead against Jimin’s shoulder. He bucks his hips in and out, and Jimin knows that he came. Jimin moans, grabbing Yoongi by the neck, the bed rocking frantically as he tries to match the boy's thrusts.

“Jimin?” Yoongi says breathlessly, as he curls a hand around Jimin’s cock. He thrusts one last time, finger massaging Jimin's tip as he does. “I love you.”

And that’s all it takes. Every bit of restraint in Jimin’s system just disappears and he has to reach out, grip the bedsheets, he arches upwards and lets out a loud and broken sob, and he comes the hardest and longest he’d ever come in his life, white spurts attaching themselves to both Yoongi and Jimin’s chests and stomachs.

It takes a while for the both of them to come down from their high. Jimin feels thoroughly fucked and Yoongi is dead on top of him.

“Fuck.” Yoongi groans tiredly. “We really do need to call room service.”

“Hey,” Jimin says, eyes closed. Yoongi hums.

“I love you too.”

The next day, Jimin can barely walk and they are met with the knowing looks of Jihoon and their friends and of course, Hoseok’s notorious question.

“Good morning!” He greets knowingly, “Happy fucking?”

Happy fucking, indeed.


Four months later, Parents Move Out and Jihoon Moves In


“Okay, kids.” Seokjin says, arms crossed in front of him. “You know the rules, alright? They’re moving in today, so be nice. This is Jihoon, we’re talking about. This is Yoongi’s brother and his friend, not just some freshman.”

Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin and Hoseok salute. “Sir, yes, sir!”

“Okay,” He sighs, “Good luck, you guys. I’ll visit as much as I can, okay?”

The rest wave sadly, leading Seokjin to the front door.

“Namjoonie, let’s go!” He calls out.

Namjoon follows suit, waving goodbye to the others as well before disappearing behind the door.

Everyone sighs.

“It’s been a couple months since Jin hyung had moved out and yet every time he leaves the damn room, I feel sad.” Hoseok says, clutching his heart.

“I’m just pissed over the fact that Namjoon hyung spent so much time whining about Jin hyung leaving and in the end he just left the dorms and moved in with him.” Jungkook laughs.

“He did it for the food.” Taehyung whispers.

Yoongi sighs, now realizing that without Seokjin and Namjoon around, that left him in charge and he really didn’t think this through.

“I can’t believe I have to take charge of you all now.” Yoongi groans.

“Hyung, we could get a pet cat and it would do the exact same things you do on a daily basis.” Hoseok points out.

“Except cats are nicer and fluffier.” Taehyung says.

“Well, they don’t have a fucking schedule.” Yoongi bites out and just as he does, someone knocks on their door.

They all look at each other and Yoongi walks over, peeking through the peephole. He sees his little brother, along with a friend, much taller, with big eyes and black hair. They both seemed to be nervous. The tall kid more than his brother.

Yoongi looks back to the others. “Guys, they’re-”

Taehyung raises a finger to his lips. “Shh. Quiet.”

Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “Why?” He whispers.

“Initiation.” Jungkook simply explains.

Yoongi has a bad feeling about this. “What the hell do you-”

And it’s then that Yoongi understands. When Hoseok screams at the top of his lungs,

“Jeon Jungkook, your spider just escaped from its damn habitat and is out to get us!”

Which Jungkook replies to with, “Which one?!”

Yoongi hears the tall boy through the door, scream “What does he mean which one?!”

He shakes his head and smiles.

“You’ll see.” He says under his breath, before opening the door and smiling, remembering the first ever words he'd heard, the beginning to finding True Love, True Friendship and finding himself.

So in his best Mother Jin voice, he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth,

“You okay over there there?”

Jihoon smiles at him and the tall boy stares at him, half terrified. "Oh. Hi. I'm Choi Seungcheol. I was just, uh, having a momentary mental breakdown but I'm fine now."

Yoongi chuckles fondly. "Ah. I get the feel."

And he does and Jihoon knows he does. All too well.

"Well," Yoongi says opening the door wider, "-if you're both ready to now, then come on in."

As they walk inside, Jihoon and Seungcheol are met with Taehyung trying to hula hoop with his neck, Jungkook and Hoseok following girl group dances on the TV and Jimin standing in front of Taehyung with a timer.

Seungcheol gulps. "You didn't warn me about this." He says, leaning down to whisper to Jihoon.

"This is what it's like everyday, apparently." Jihoon chuckles, looking at his older brother.

Yoongi smiles. "You won't ever get used to it. But don't worry,"

He throws an arm around both his brother and his friend, "- these are gonna be the greatest years of your lives."