Chapter Text
With a sigh Taei collapsed into her bed. Such a long day. She buried into her warm covers and was glad that she didn't have any early morning chores scheduled for the next day. Reveling in the clean feeling of having just bathed and changed clothes she wasn't far from sleep. The day that she had spent mucking out stalls in the stable was over. Not having the energy to even contemplate why she had been sent to the stables she quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.
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Shaking, the whole world was shaking! Sitting upright in bed Taei was shocked to find the Mistress of Novices standing at the foot of her bed. Still not thinking clearly she simply blinked up at the other woman and wished that she could put her head back down on the pillow, but some part of her mind knew better than to attempt it. "Come child." Was all the Mistress of Novices said. She then turned around and walked over to the door.
Still half awake Taei simply acted on instinct. She put on her slippers and wrapped her robe around her then followed the Aes Sedai out the door. Winding through the labirynth of corridors Taei tried to get her mind to wake up. The sleepiness fogging her brain didn't want to lift. Simply following Taei had no idea where they were going. When they finally stopped at a doorway it snapped her mind back to the present. She knew that she was deep in the heart of the tower. Deep down she knew that there was only one reason she would be brought down here in the middle of the night by the Mistress of Novices. Light help me!
The Mistress of Novices opened the door and then stood back, waving for Taei to go through first. Taking a deep breath she entered the room. The room seemed more like a cathedrial to Taei because unlike the rest of the rooms she had seen in the tower this one was like a dome. The most striking thing in the room, though was the ter'angreal. It's three silver arches seemed delicate and Taei wondered if it would break if you touched them or where they met the thick silver ring that supported them. Where each arch touched the ring there was an Aes Sedai sitting, concentrating on the silvery structure. Another Aes Sedai stood behind a table that had three silver chalices filled with water sitting on it. She didn't remember seeing any of the sisters present more than as someone she passed in the hallways. All of them and the Mistress of Novices were wearing their shawls.
I've been called. They want me to face my fears. Can I face my fears? What if...? The thoughts flew through her head like a whirlwind until she was interrupted by the Mistress of Novices.
"Two things that no woman hears until she enters this room. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, no matter your potential and you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter'angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they - were - not - there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Faltering leads to a failure."
"This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, and you will have only mark against you. Twice more will you be allowed to come here, and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse. Many cannot do it their first time here. Now you may speak."
I can't I just can't. What if I see myself die? What if I kill someone? And my past... it's just painful. Feeling the sweat bead up on her forehead she noticed that she was almost gasping for air. Panicking. Every nerve in her body told her to run, to run from the room. "No!"
Running from the room she almost collapsed outside the door. Half from fear, half from exhaustion. She felt as if she had run ten miles uphill. "I just can't. I can't!" She collapsed in a heap and sobbed.
When her sobs had subsided she heard the door open behind her. The Mistress of Novices gently laid a hand on her shoulder and helped her to her feet. The understanding written in the woman's face made Taei feel better and worse all at the same time. I failed, I failed the test of will. On the verge of tears again she stood and followed the Mistress of Novices back to her quarters. Tears made impossible for her to see anything but an outline of the figure that she followed through the hallways. Finally stopping at her doorway Taei felt relief wash over her.
"It's all right, child. Not all who come to that room can go in their first time." Putting a hand comfortingly on her shoulder she went on, "You will have two more chances, child." With a small smile the Aes Sedai walked off leaving Taei standing outside her door. Taei almost felt numb. She opened the door, replaced her robe and slippers and laid back down in her bed. I failed! Taei sobbed once more, all the fears she didn't know, all the things she couldn't face. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime she had managed to sob herself to sleep.
Taei Mirel