Jeremy was drunk, and Natalie was beautiful, and the whole wide world was in tune. People needed to know this. Jeremy nodded emphatically into Dan's shoulder. It was important.
He cleared his throat, ready to tell his people -- his people -- the good news.
Dan shifted next to him. "You're not going to throw up, are you?" he asked. "We've all been there, man, but I'd rather not go there tonight in my snazzy new suit."
"Calling that suit snazzy, my friend," Casey interrupted from somewhere outside the warm, cosy world that was Jeremy's drunkenness, Natalie's beauty and Dan's shoulder, "is like calling Michael Phelps a competent swimmer. It has travelled so far down the dangerous road of understatement, it risks veering off into insult."
"Snaaah-zee," Dan said decisively. His nodding disturbed Jeremy's resting place.
"I'm not saying it's lacking in snazz, Danny," Casey continued. "Quite the opposite. I'm saying--"
Jeremy tuned him out. Because here was the thing: Jeremy was drunk. Also, Natalie was beautiful. There was no room for suits in this beautiful, drunken universe the two of them had made together.
"Natalie," he said into Dan's shoulder.
"No, I'm Dan," Dan said.
Jeremy resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. At times such as these, an ill-timed eye roll could make the difference between happy, happy inebriation and sad, sad regurgitation.
"Natalie," he said again, "is beautiful."
Somewhere out in the darkness, there was a rustle of barely stifled laughter. It sounded distinctly Kim-shaped, to Jeremy's well-developed ear.
"Are you laughing at Natalie's beauty?" he asked in the vague direction of all things Kim-like.
There was no answer. He chose to take that as a no.
"Good," he told Dan's shoulder.
Time passed. Jeremy let it. Then, in his ear, came the voice of a goddess.
"Jeremy?" the goddess said. "Sweetheart?"
Jeremy beamed up at her. "You are drunk," he said. "And I am beautiful."
He scrunched his face in confusion. That wasn't right. But the goddess laughed, and slipped him from Dan's shoulder to her own, so maybe it was near enough.