"Dessert?" Leslie asked, getting up and clearing the table, dropping the dishes in the sink. She was wearing a slinky, low-cut black dress.
"If it was as good as that dinner? Hell, yeah," Penny said, patting her stomach with a contented smile.
"There are two bowls of ice cream in the freezer," Leslie instructed. "Bring them over to this table." She walked over to the center of the room where there was an entire laboratory set up, various machines mounted on plywood and numerous whiteboards with equations scrawled all over them.
Penny grabbed the two enormous bowls from the freezer, closing it with her hip, walking them over and setting them down next to the machine Leslie was adjusting the settings on.
"What's it do?" Penny said.
"Allow me to demonstrate," Leslie said. She pulled another bowl out from the shelf below, this one metallic, and placed it in the line of the machine's sight. She then pulled out two pairs of safety goggles from her cleavage, handing one to Penny, which she slipped on with a confused look.
Leslie pulled the lever and a blinding beam shot out of the end of the machine.
"Whoa!" Penny exclaimed, taking a step back, a hand on her chest. "That scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry about that," Leslie said, slipping on gloves before she picked up the bowl. "I forgot how bright it can be." She reached into the bowl, pulling out a flashfrozen object and holding it out. "I was thinking banana splits."
Penny blinked. She stepped forward, leaning in and examining the fruit carefully. "You seriously just froze two bananas in like one second?"
Leslie looked pointedly at what she was holding, obviously thinking its existence spoke for itself.
"Okay," Penny said, taking two more steps forward, her eyes intently focused and her hands opening and closing in the air, "this might just be the pitcher of lab-brewed vodka talking, but I think I need to make out with you like now."
Leslie set down the banana and slid off her goggles. "I thought you'd never ask," she said in her completely inflectionless voice, and then proceeded to step forward, grab Penny by the back of the neck and kiss her senseless.
A few minutes, Leslie pulled back, suddenly, leaving Penny still lurching forward. "Was that what you had in mind?"
Penny stumbled, a little, and then caught herself. Her expression was dazed, pupils dilated, and she swayed a little on her feet before straightening up. "Um, yes, that -- that'll, um. That'll definitely do."
Leslie exuded the faintest bit of smugness. "Good. If you're interested in engaging in further sexual pursuits, I have another laboratory in my bedroom that I'd be happy to show you."
"You have -- another -- in your--" Penny gulped. "Yeah, yeah, I think I'd like that."
Leslie put a hand on the small of Penny's back. "Right this way," she said, matter-of-factly, slipping a ring of small keys out of her cleavage with a smile.
"So, I was thinking of telling the guys."
Leslie looked up from the report she was typing on her laptop. "Elaborate, please."
"The guys, you know," Penny said, gesturing at her door with the dishtowel and, by extension, at the apartment across the hall. "My friends. Telling them about us."
Leslie's eyes widened fractionally, conveying a sense of vague horror. "You're joking."
"No," Penny said slowly, drying her large red mug. "That's kind of like the worst punch line to a joke ever."
"Allow me to rephrase," Leslie said, closing her laptop with a definitive click. "I wish you were joking."
"Why?" Penny said, tossing the towel over her shoulder and leaning back against the sink.
Leslie examined Penny, like she was having trouble believing that this conversation wasn't going differently. "I am forced to assume that you haven't thought this matter through to its logical conclusion."
"Sure I have," Penny said, walking over towards couch and sitting across from Leslie, one leg pulled up under her. Her hair was in a ponytail high on her head and she was wearing a bright yellow tank top with blue sweatpants. "I'm sure they'll understand. Well, except for Sheldon, but I think I like it better that way."
"His cognitive comprehension is impaired, at best," Leslie agreed.
"So, you don't mind? If I tell them?" Penny said, putting her hand on top of Leslie's.
Leslie shrugged, turning her hand upwards, fingertips skimming along Penny's palm. "The prerogative is yours."
"Great," Penny said, her smile lighting up her whole face.
"The tangy citrus aroma of that dishsoap is oddly arousing," Leslie said, twining her fingers around the charm necklace that Penny was wearing and pulling her closer.
"Mmm, well," Penny said, slipping her dishsoap-scented hands underneath Leslie's button-up, "there's plenty more where that came from."
"What was I thinking?" Penny hissed, crouched behind her couch.
"That is an extremely valid question," Leslie said on the other end of the phone line, the headset in her ear and her hands busy with a scattering of gears, springs and washers on her tabletop.
"The pictures will never go beyond my personal harddrive, I swear!" Howard screamed through the door, three sets of fists hammering on the wood. Then there was a pause. "And, okay, Raj's, but he swears that they're strictly for research purposes! And I'm pretty sure he's not lying!"
"Oh, God, you have to help me," Penny moaned into the phone, banging the back of her head against the couch. "I'm way outnumbered."
"I'll be over in approximately twenty minutes," Leslie said, walking over towards the door and grabbing something that looked a lot like a handheld ray gun that was propped up against the door. "I must warn you, though, that they may be eradicated."
Penny's eyes slid towards the door, where it sounded like Howard was doing nonconsensual things with her doorknob.
"That's a risk I'll have to take."
Leslie smiled. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."
"If you make it ten I'll give you a few more reasons," Penny promised.
Leslie cocked the laser. "See you in five."
"Fascinating," Leslie said, her fingers playing along Penny's spine. Penny was tucked into her arm, half asleep.
"Mmm?" Penny mumbled against Leslie's shoulder.
"In every previous attempt I've made at the traditional sociosexual interaction model, this is the juncture at which I have found myself disinclined to continue."
"You mean bored?" Penny said, yawning. "Yeah, I know, I remember the whole Howard thing. But if this is your way of trying to break up with me on Valentine's Day, I gotta tell you, you're kinda blowing it, because I'm going to be riding that orgasm high for at least another five hours."
"Mmm, yes," Leslie said, smiling a little. "I know what you mean."
"So we're not breaking up?" Penny said, snuggling her nose behind Leslie's ear. "'Cause I don't know about you, but I'm ready for round two."
"I thought you'd never ask," Leslie said, and it was still completely inflectionless, but Penny smiled, like she hadn't expected anything else.