A fan fiction by KyoKohitsuji
Beta’d by HeavenlyBodies
Rating: Teen +
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except a worn out copy of JesusChrist Superstar, which I also make no profit on.
Summery: Krycek shows up at Mulder’s beaten and bruised. They both decide enough is enough and take comfort in one another finally after all these years of fighting it.
Warnings: Male/Male slash content.
A.N: Sometimes a girl just needs uncomplicated schmoop and thus this was born. It’s not often I write like this so enjoy it!!
The night was thick with foreboding. Something was so very wrong. While the stars blanketed with skies in their twinkling radiance, something else blanketed and buried the world around Agent Fox Mulder and made him feel uneasy.
The swell of violence in the city bothered him, but not as much as the feeling something was about to happen. The delectable taste of danger was addictive in a way, without it Mulder wondered what his purpose was and so he gratefully drank down the poisons of this world.
These are not thoughts that managed to make it to the shallows of his mind on this evening though as he approached his apartment. As the FBI agent entered his small home and threw the keys down he stopped in his tracks. His breathing sped and raced with his pulse as his whole being came alive. He spoke with restraint, a restraint he didn’t understand.
As long as he had known Alex Krycek he had evoked such a passionate and strong reaction within him. Mulder truly understood the red haze of hate when he saw him. Usually he attacked him with his fists, but he felt the fury slip a little as he noticed Krycek was already beat up.
Crimson road maps encrusting his flawless skin. His impish nose was bruising and his elfin features all covered in evidence of a bad fight. One that this time the Russian double agent had not managed to win. His cracked lips fell apart and one word came from them. “Mulder…”
The younger man then fell forward and Mulder had to leap forward to catch him before he fell face first into the floor. Even the way Krycek fell was graceful. A swan dive into the unknown of the trouble he’s drowning in.
Mulder could do nothing but wrap his arms around the withered form of a former enemy. Krycek had apparently given into and placed himself in Mulder’s trust because he never moved nor fought with a single move the older man made as he manoeuvred him into the bathroom.
Krycek caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and a sickened salted tear fell silently down his swollen cheek. His image is distorted and his torrid emerald eyes screamed out he doesn’t want to do this anymore.
Mulder stood behind him and looked to the mirror meeting his gaze. A thousand emotions, apologies and confessions danced in the shining eyes of an assassin broken down. Mulder held that heated gaze and simply nodded. He whispered the words into his ear while never taking his eyes away from Krycek’s in the mirror. “Enough now, Alex. Enough now.”
Alex Krycek in that instance felt like his whole miserable existence had been worth it for this one moment. He tried to turn and speak, but Mulder simply put one fingertip to his lips. He answered every terrified question in a gentle, forgiving look and the safety and comfort of his arms as he allowed Krycek to fall against his chest and sob a thousand tears for a thousand moments passed, gone from their lives forever. But not anymore, no time will be wasted anymore.
They could have stood there in the bathroom embracing for hours, neither wanting to let go of the other. Mulder’s feelings confused him, but he was so, so very tired of fighting. Krycek never needed to second guess a thing; he’d always been besotted with Mulder. For the moment he just soaked up all that he could of him. They told him he’d never survive, but survival’s his middle name.
Krycek was heavy against Mulder’s chest as he leaned into him. The older man reached around him finally to put the shower on and began to peel off Krycek’s leather jacket, which was soaked through. He let go of his arms after this and turned to leave. Krycek was quicker than a bullet even in his current state. He dragged Mulder back round to him immediately. The steam billowing around them like mists of an ancient land. “I have to leave you to shower, Alex. I’ll be right out here. Ok?”
He gave him a reassuring smile, but Krycek shook his head as though being lead to the death chamber. “No… no. Wh… what if I need you? Would you try and save me?” He begged pathetically. “Mulder please…? No one’s around, I … I feel like I’m hangin by a thread… Trying to breath, but I’m fighting for air… Mulder?”
Before he could speak anymore, Mulder gathered him into his arms and held him tightly, fingers carding through his hair. He was making no sense and yet Mulder understood it all, understood the disparity in his eyes, the begging stance, and the pleading in those eyes.
Once he had successfully gotten their clothes off, he manoeuvred them into the shower. Krycek winced and shuffled around so he could hide his arm from Mulder. The agent soon realised what his game was, and so, like the cat and rat act the two of them were, he began to on purpose make his hands gravitate towards that painful reminder of what this man has been through. Eventually, Krycek realised, too, that he was caught and his shoulders hunched and he began to sob, whole heartedly and without shame.
Mulder had not meant this to happen. He immediately encircled his ex-partner in his strong arms, curling around his waist and pulling Krycek’s back against his chest. The man took in a harsh ragged breath and let his head fall dejectedly onto Mulder’s shoulder. His soft whispers against the column of Krycek’s neck seemed to relax him a little as he let go of some of his tension.
Of course, as soon as Mulder’s fingertips began to explore Krycek’s chest softly, testing the waters, the younger man’s breathing became ragged and his body tensed once more. It was a good reaction, but not the one which Mulder wanted. He took the small soft cloth and soaped it up before laying it across his chest and swiping it back and forth. This time he was clearly still enjoying it very much, but not shaking the way he had been with nerves. “Alex, trust me.”
Krycek audibly showed his appreciation for Mulder whispering into his ear. “I’ve always trusted you.”
Mulder felt himself swallow as everything came washing over him. Krycek in his own way had always trusted and did everything he told him to. One of which resulted in the reason he needed his trust now. He nuzzled the side of the younger man’s neck and Krycek whimpered leaning to the side to give him more access, silently begging for more, more of anything. Mulder wondered if this was turning a little too sexual and began to doubt his actions, but Krycek was happy and that spurred him on.
Slowly, Mulder began to lower his fingertips from his shoulder down that arm. Krycek stiffened, but made no attempt to stop Mulder, he seemed open to anything he could have right now. Mulder let his fingers trail down the intertwining spiders webs of scarring and finally to the end of his arm. The roughened scar tissue was a stark contrast to his flawless skin elsewhere. Krycek was once again in tears openly, so Mulder rubbed his nose up the line of his ex-partner’s neck and whispered, “Still as beautiful as the day I met you, Alexei.”
This time Krycek smiled and looked up to Mulder from where he was laying against his chest, both soaked and surrounded by steam. “You remember that Mulder? We were drunk. You called me Alexander and I gave you a damn strict talking to about the difference of my name.” He was beaming up at Mulder waiting for his response.
Mulder leaned forward and ever so softly kissed his forehead. “Of course, I remember.”
Alex guffawed and whispered to himself, ‘Eidetic memory, right.’
Mulder sighed and pulled him closer.
Alex buried his face in Mulder’s chest as he bathed in the hot, steamy spray of constant raindrops over them from the shower. That and in Mulder’s presence. Trying to soak up everything. Make it real somehow. Not wake up alone again and running.
As though he sensed his thoughts, Mulder lifted his chin to look at him. “Alexei, I’m not going anywhere. Ever again. Okay? Let me…”
He sighed as he stopped speaking and Alex searched his eyes for the inevitable. What he’d been waiting on. The I want to forgive you, but I can’t. The moment Mulder realised who he was caring for and threw him out. Mulder saw all these fears within his eyes and cupped his cheek with his full hand. Smiling slightly when Alex rubbed his face against his palm like a cat.
“Alexei Krycek. I’m not going to pretend that you haven’t done wrong. You’ve committed crimes that cannot easily be forgotten. You’ve lied and double crossed. But… There is not one of us, including me, who cannot claim they haven’t done the same. None of us are innocent at this point in the game Alex. You might not believe me yet, but I’m done playing. I promise you, from this day forth, you can trust me as I hope I can and will be trusting you.”
Alex had tears streaming from his eyes silently as he listened to Mulder, staring up into his eyes as though he were a god. Finally, he whimpered his reply. “I’m so tired Mulder… so tired of it all.”
Mulder pulled him close and shushed him as they stood under the cooling spray of water, which they let wash over them. Wash away all past sins. Wash away all the games and lies. Naked as the day they were born they stood there and became cleansed of it all. When they emerged from the shower it was as new people.
They dried each other and Mulder placed a kiss on each spot where Alex had a bruise or a cut. He’d never seen the young man blush so much. Mulder put his arm around Alex so he could lean on him to walk. Alex was in shock when they walked passed the old beat up leather sofa and straight to the bedroom. They slipped into bed soundlessly. No words were needed.
Mulder fit in perfectly behind him, his legs folding up as though making a seat for Krycek to sit on, while he wrapped the rest of his body around the younger man’s body. Alex purred as he felt Mulder nuzzle behind him. He couldn’t help himself even in the pain he was in, he had to turn around. He wanted the last thing he saw to be those beautiful burning hazel eyes.
Mulder opened his arms readily as he felt the younger man shuffling round to face him. He lay still and allowed Alex to explore his face with curious fingers, then his shoulders and chest and back up to card through his hair. A sad thought passed through his blissed out mind; Alex was committing everything to memory for fear this would be the only time he fell asleep in Mulder’s arms. He reached out and took Alex’s hands in his own and spoke softly, a whisper on the night air.
“Alexei… I’m not going anywhere. I promise you, for as long as you want me, I’ll be by your side.”
Without so much as skipping a heartbeat Alex answered. “Forever?”
The younger man blushed as though he hadn’t meant that to be said out loud. Mulder smiled and leaned in rubbing their noses together and breathing his words across Alex’s lips. “Forever.”
The strong emeralds of the Russian assassin’s eyes glistened and shone with fresh tears. Mulder brushed his lips ever so gently in a ghost of a touch, pressing soft kisses on Alex’s lips. There was no sexual agenda. The kisses were as soft as the flutter of butterflies’ wings. He worshipped the other man with his lips and Alex beamed an aura of pure bliss.
The two men caressed and chastely kissed long into the night, before finally Alex snuggled into Mulder’s arms and fell asleep. The older agent watched him sleep within his embrace for some time before falling asleep himself. Neither man had ever slept so soundly. And it was the first of many. The first night of Forever.