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From What You Need To What I Want

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Three months ago, when Stiles had to let go of Derek, he thought it was the worst thing he had been forced to do in his life, the thing is that the fact that he would never see Derek again didn't cross his mind at all. Sadly, that was the truth, he realized as he laid on the floor of Derek’s apartment hugging the official army letter that Derek had given him, and as hard as it was, he had to accept it because in all honesty it's not like he could do anything to change the facts, of course that didn't mean he could actually accept it that easily, just like he couldn't stop tears from rolling down his cheeks like waterfalls. 

One of the things that made his heart break the most was that, as fucked up as their relationship was, it was starting to be something more, he didn’t know exactly where it was going, but it was something at least. And then, thanks to his luck, of course Derek had to go and enlist without telling him, not that he blamed Derek (well, maybe he blamed him a little bit), it’s just that he never got to tell him how he really felt, or have a real farewell, for that matter, now he never would and he will never know if Derek felt the same.  

Because of that, the feeling of emptiness was getting even worse lately, so much that all that was left to feel was numbness, it was like his body was acting pretty much in autopilot all the time, he didn’t notice the ride to the liquor store anymore, or buying the three daily bottles of whisky, or even getting home, all he was thinking about was that one of the most important people in his life never coming back. 

Stiles didn’t even know how much time had passed, all he knew was that his heart was broken, everything hurt and that the three bottles were already gone. It was then that he realized that time flies when you're drinking. 

Someone knocked at the door, he was not willing to open, he had no idea who could it be but that someone was persistent; after five or fifteen minutes, he wasn't sure, he finally opened the door and it was the last person he expected.  

Theo was just standing there, with a look that was a mixture between concern and regret, maybe he had heard the news from Scott, who shared everything with him these days. Stiles chuckled just imagining what he must have looked like, with his eyes red and puffy, an empty bottle in his hand and his face wet from tears. 

 "I don’t know what you want, but honestly I’m not in the mood to see you right now" he said, his voice so raspy he couldn’t believe it was his own. 

 Stiles didn't know exactly what the chimera was doing at his doorstep, but he still didn’t trust him enough to be comfortable with that fact.Theo had the feeling that he had to be there for Stiles. He had cached the scent of fear, or sadness, or both, all mixed with the unmistakable scent of alcohol, blocks away from the house so he just kept walking, and there he was.  

"I'm not..." Theo started. "Shut up! I don't want to see you or hear you either." Stiles interrupted. As he turned around, but before he could go Theo grabbed his wrist and pulled Stiles towards him before wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug expecting to be pushed back, he was pleasantly surprised when stiles hugged him back, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Theo felt the way his arms just got around Stiles’ waist just, perfectly. His hands approaching the edge of his shirt.  

Even though Stiles didn’t want to admit it, the way Theo and him got along reminded him a lot of how his relationship with Derek was in the beginning. And he hated it, he just didn't want to feel anymore, he wanted to hate Derek and the fact that he went away or the fact that he couldn’t stop crying about it even when they were nothing; he just wanted to forget everything.  

His train of thought made him recall the uniform of the visitor he had had and the look they had given him, the sound of pity in their voice as something really similar to “I’m sorry” left their mouth. Stiles’ memories of the visit were a blur, he just blocked everything out after he heard those words along with “casualty”, “lost” and “unknown”.  

Suddenly Stiles just started crying, sobbing on Theo's shoulder. He wasn't expecting that. But it broke his heart. He sniffed his hair and whispered softly in Stiles’ ear "I'm here with you, cry it out, I won't let you alone, ever" words that just came out of Theo's mouth as if he had rehearsed them before. 

"He's gone, he won't come back" Stiles said over and over again, voice so broken is was barely a whimper.  

Theo repeated those words on his mind " 'he's gone?' Derek, is gone?". Finally he would be able to have Stiles just for himself, he knew that Stiles wouldn’t love him as much as he loved Derek and even after that realization, there it was deep inside of him, a pinch of hope.  

He knew he was being selfish, but the only thing he could think about was Stiles’ lips moving against his neck as he spoke, he didn’t even care of the strong scent of alcohol. He just wanted to kiss stiles so bad, and prove him that he was just as good as Derek so he could love him just as much. And there they were, just standing in the middle of the doorway, hugging each other. One begging for Stiles mouth. The other, broken, looking for a way to relief his heart.  

Theo could feel Stiles trembling, so he pulled back just to look at his face, they were so close he couldn’t take it anymore. He reached up to touch Stiles’ face, wiping his tears away and grabbed him by the chin, leaning in to touch Stiles’ lips with his own. 

Stiles wanted to push him away, but he was tired, drunk and emotionally drained, so he just accepted it, kissing him back, imagining how Derek’s lips would feel like after those three months and wondering if they were like Theo’s. They were not, he could not compare Derek with Theo, but he wasn’t regretting it either, enjoying the taste of Theo in his mouth, their tongues danced as if they knew each other a long time ago. 

The kiss was a bit sloppy and Theo didn’t care that Stiles tasted like salt and alcohol, it was still Stiles, his taste, his smell, every little thing and he was just overpowered by all of it. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach and how his chest felt like it was about to burst. Stiles, on the other hand, just lost himself in the moment, Theo was a really good kisser, and after all that was all he was looking for, a distraction. 

The kiss continued and as they parted looking for air Stiles took Theo's shirt, pulling it over his head, his breathing starting to get labored. Theo wasn't expecting that, not that early, but he didn’t stop him. Stiles ran his hands down Theo's abs as they were a piece of art that had to be touched with gloves, and not his bare fingertips. Theo stated to hesitate. 

He started feeling a bit guilty because he knew Stiles needed someone to comfort him and that he wasn’t really thinking in that moment, he was sure this wouldn’t even be happening if Stiles were completely sober and on his right mind, but he had waited so long for this, and if this was the only way he would be able to have him, he was going to take it.  He moved past the hesitation and started unbuttoning Stiles’ shirt, working his mouth down his neck, suckling every inch of soft and exposed skin.  

Stiles moaned softly as Theo accidentally pushed him against the wall, and that was it, Theo was completely lost as something started to burn inside of him, his pants starting to get tight, he could not control himself anymore. Theo didn’t bother to finish unbuttoning Stiles’ shirt as he just ripped it off, grabbing his thighs and lifting him up automatically. It was something he used to do with Derek, and just remembering it made him freeze for a second but he managed to push the memories aside in order to keep kissing Theo, now not with love or regret...but anger towards the situation he found himself in and hate for the fact that Derek had left him alone. 

It was driving Stiles crazy, almost wild, tangling his hands on Theo’s hair and rocking his hips to gain some friction but Theo was holding him in place, just teasing him, sucking on one of his nipples. 

Theo walked to the sofa with Stiles on him just as he started kissing and sucking Theo’s neck, "You know that is going to leave bruises" Theo said, Stiles just growled. Stiles' mouth started to go down immediately, passing Theo's right nipple and licking his abs. Theo stopped him before Stiles could get any further "Wait, wouldn't it be better if we go somewhere more comfortable?" Stiles did not answered, he just started moving to the hall that went to the bedroom, pulling Theo along with him without bothering to stop kissing him. Theo couldn´t believe how Stiles was handling the situation, he knew he was focused on sex and just that. He knew it when stiles didn´t took his hand to go to the bedroom. Anyways he was going to the bed,  Derek´s bed, with Stiles.  

They stopped in the middle of the hallway and Theo pushed, grinding against him, he wanted to make Stiles lose the little control he had left, to make a mess out of him and hear him moan and scream with the knowledge that he was the one responsible for it. At this stage, he knew Stiles was enjoying it too, joining him in his little game and letting him gain control over him.  

There was another bite to Stiles' neck and with that, and the friction to his groin, he considered himself damned, closing his eyes and grabbing the back of Theo's neck, he whispered between moans "D-Derek stop teasing me". Theo wasn’t sure if he heard what he heard. He just didn’t care. He was too focused on Stiles´ lewd noises. 

In the middle of  their make out session, they stumbled their way to the wall. Theo starting to put his hand down the back of Stiles' pants, feeling his butt, he didn't want Stiles to feel like he was being pressured into something, but Stiles wasn't having any of it, pushing Theo against the opposite wall, then interrupting the kiss to make sure Theo could see his face, he grabbed his cock underneath his pants and bit his lip, Theo could see the desire and need in Stiles' eyes and with that he knew Stiles was ready to lose his decency, Stiles came closer to Theo's ear whispering "I'm yours..." Theo felt something on his stomach, on his heart, this was what he was waiting for, "...for now" finished Stiles, giving a little bite to his earlobe and that changed the sensation in his stomach, it didn’t died but it decreased a lot, now replaced by a burning feeling.  

Theo knew it was a one night stand, but he was going to enjoy it anyway. With that thought in mind, he pushed Stiles back, making him trip and fall on the floor. Stiles dropped down with a loud moan, spreading his legs for him as soon as he touched the wooden floors, Theo took that as an invitation, kneeling down between Stile's legs kissing him roughly, he couldn’t handle it anymore. Theo slowly pulled off Stiles' jeans, kissing down his stomach, getting lower and lower with every kiss, making it a show for Stiles to see, he got to the waistband of his boxers biting them while dragging them down.  

When his erection got free, Theo started looking at him with hungry eyes, taking him by the base and slowly pulling out his tongue, giving a big lick to his shaft. The stimulation was beginning to be too much for Stiles so the minute he felt Theo's tongue on his dick, he screamed in pleasure, arching his back and looking away from Theo's eyes, closing his own.  

"Derek.. " he said between moans, toes curling, with a hand on Derek's hair and the other one grabbing the sheets on a fist. Derek's mouth felt so good, moving roughly up and down his shaft engulfing him in that tight and wet heat, it was driving him mad, but that wasn't all, oh no, the look Derek was giving him, it felt like he could cum just by the intensity of his stare, it felt almost like if  he was a prey and Derek was about to take him apart. 

He got lost on his memories for a moment, but was abruptly brought back to reality by Theo's hard sucks.  Stiles looked down, almost expecting to see Derek, of course he knew better than that and it was obviously not Derek's mouth, but the pleasure Theo made him feel was pretty authentic, physically profound but sentimentally profane. All he could feel now was Theo's ministrations almost bringing him to the edge, pressing all his buttons, but before he could even say anything, the heat was gone, and the only thing he could see was Theo pulling back, a pleased smirk beginning to form in his lips. "Wh...why did you stop?" Stiles asked, breathless, a sting of desperation on his voice. "I don't want you to finish yet" Theo said. 

"Theo, I need this, please" he sounded almost strangled, all modesty long gone. Theo smirked again, this time giving him a dirty look, getting closer and closer to his mouth, just to whisper seductively to his lips "Then go to bed" pointing his head in the room's direction just to stand up and make his way to the bedroom. Stiles stayed still on the floor trying to process what has just happened, the sexual frustration was about to make him burst, so he just followed Theo's lead, who was already sitting in the bed. Theo opened his arms as an invitation for Stiles to come closer, Stiles walked towards him, preparing his lips and body to what was about to come.  

Theo received Stiles' body as if it was the prize he had wanted his whole life and finally had on his possession, at his mercy. He felt his warmth, wrapping his arms around Stiles' waist, pressing him against his own body as he were trying to melt both of them together, trying to make Stiles feel the same.  

But at the end, he had to put the tenderness aside, grabbing Stiles by the back on his neck and pulling back until they were both lying down on the bed, he then took Stiles by surprise, flipping them so Theo was on top, making him gasp as he started to leave a path of bites down his neck. Stiles felt Theo's hands traveling down his thighs, grabbing at them and opening his legs, lifting them up so his mouth could find its way to Stiles' entrance, licking at it with a dirty desire, lapping around the ring of muscle and without stopping he looked up to see Stiles' face, he was making exactly the expression Theo had wanted him to have, eyes shut, nose wrinkled and mouth open in a silent moan. Suddenly Theo's tongue pressed in preparing Stiles' hole and adding one finger to stretch him out, making him moan. It felt like torture, making his urge grow even more with every second, all he was begging for was for Theo to fill him up, to fuck him into the mattress and leave him numb so he could still feel it the next morning.  

The feeling of Theo's tongue and finger going in and out of his body was amazing, and for a moment he thought it couldn't get better but Theo proved him wrong, adding a second finger, curling them and making scissoring motions, going deeper and deeper with every push and shove of his hand. Then, just to tease him, he started licking Stiles' sack, coming closer to the base of his cock, mouthing his way up. Theo never knew he could be as hard as he was in that moment and the sounds Stiles was making were the reason, sounds that confirmed he was enjoying it. Theo sucked hard, hollowing his cheeks, bobbing his head up and down as he was trying to suck his cum out, and he knew Stiles was loving it. 

With three fingers in and lips sleek with spit to his length, Stiles was getting closer, the taste of precum invading Theo's mouth. "I.. I'm.." Stiles started saying, but was cut off by Theo backing away and taking his fingers out of his clenching hole, he came close to his face "What were you going to say?" He said, a glint of innocence in his lustful stare, Stiles groaned in frustration looking at Theo with a expression that was nothing else than a silent plea. "I'm going to keep this up until you tell me exactly what you want" Theo said, voice deep with command. "I...I want..." Said Stiles, "What?" Asked Theo as he got even closer to Stiles, breathing out onto his neck, biting him so close to the jugular that made Stiles remember he could kill him anytime, that he was not human but a powerful creature. The only sounds that escaped Stiles' mouth were broken gasps, "What do you want me to do to you, Stilinski?" Theo said while circling his entrance with the tip of his cock. 

Stiles was going mad just for imagining how hard Derek would fuck him. How he would grunt, the way he knew he couldn't control himself when they were together, the way his fangs and claws would come out when he was about to reach the edge and the kiss he would leave behind his neck just before they fell asleep in each others arms, every time they waked up and his eyes would shine with the firsts beams of sunlight, the sound of his footsteps when he got up to the bathroom or even the sound of him peeing, the way their bodies matched perfectly like they were meant to be together as one. He had to put away those thoughts though, and remind himself he was in fact with Theo, no matter how much he missed Derek, he wasn’t there. He was gone and he had to accept it. And so far, Theo was the only way he had to go on. 

By the time Theo looked up to see the human's face, he was already spacing out, he knew he was thinking about Derek by the look on his eyes. Theo felt something inside him, anger, deception...jealousy. He wouldn’t allow that. He wanted to make Stiles know that he was his,  he almost wanted to leave a permanent mark so he could be his forever. Theo wanted to make him his. If not sentimentally, he will be his by flesh and if he didn't use this opportunity, he wouldn't have another one so he decided to snap him out of his trance by force,  slamming his dick inside of him without a warning. Stiles' heat pressing on him from every direction was almost to much for him to handle, and at the same time, it was everything he had been longing for, it felt so good that just the simple fact of pressing inside of him was almost enough to make him cum in the spot.  

The unexpected intrusion made Stiles scream in a mixture of pleasure, relief and surprise, and just as Theo slammed himself inside of him, he also started thrusting, hard and deep, still playing games with Stiles' mind, seeing as he was making a slow, almost agonizing pace. All Stiles could do in that moment was grab the sheets as if his life depended on it, digging his fingers in the fabric and arching his back, with shameless cries and moans coming out of his mouth. The face Stiles was making in that moment was something Theo would save on his mind forever, but Theo wasn't the only one making the other crazy, because the way he was moving had Stiles hypnotized. Theo's body was moving as if he were dancing, arching his back with every thrust of hips.  

Stiles was exasperated and by now, he knew Theo wouldn't do anything unless he begged for it, but between that and his moves, all Theo was achieving was turning him on even more. Theo knew what Stiles was feeling, he could tell by the look in his eyes and the way his body was trembling, trying to control himself, but he had to hear the amber eyed teen say he needed him, that he wanted him. Theo didn't even know if he craved to hear those words for the sake of his feelings or if it was because he was enjoying the morbidity of the situation, maybe it was both reasons, or that he wanted Stiles to accept he was the one who owned him, even for that brief moment.  

Theo decreased the rhythm even more, practically stopping without hesitation. Stiles screamed once more in frustration, almost sobbing in defeat "Theo, stop it please, stop provoking me!" Theo smiled arrogantly. "What do you want? Uh? What do you want me to do to you?! Tell me Stiles, I know you thirst for me, that all you can think about is how bad you need me to fuck you, to drive into you ruthlessly, hitting that sweet spot over and over again until you come undone. The thing is that before any of that happens, I need you to plead" Theo said, daring him to speak with a intoxicating look on his eyes, dark with desire. "What do you want me to say?!" Stiles yelled. Theo felt victorious. "Say it Stiles! Say those words and I´ll make you mine" 

"I just.." Began Stiles, "You what Stiles?!" Teased Theo "FUCK ME THEO! PLEASE! FUCK ME HARD! Fuck me until I'm not able to walk straight, mark me, make me want to be yours. Please!" Stiles bawled, all of his sexual frustration coming out "Theo please, I'm losing my mind, give me what I need" said Stiles. "Was that too hard..." Began Theo but  Stiles yanked him down, grabbing him by the back of his neck and kissing him hungrily on the lips, it just increased Theo's arousal. It was all he needed. 

Theo started thrusting his hips slowly, making his dick change angles with each thrust, looking for the right one, picking up the pace, letting out muffled groans. He continued, balls smacking against Stiles' ass. Stiles pulled Theo to him again so he could hear his groans closely, roughly running his nails down his back, leaving a trail of red marks in the places his hands had been in, letting go a low whine.  

"Is this what you wanted Stiles?!  Or you want it harder?" Theo said between moans "I bet you want me to take you apart". Stiles started moving his hips in time with Theo's thrusts, and with that he knew, he didn't need an answer but of course that didn't mean he didn't wanted Stiles to say it. Stiles wanted it deeper, faster. 

"Be a good boy and tell me how you want me to do you?" Theo said, whispering in his ear, a low and husky tone in his voice. Stiles arched his back, biting his lips, a choked moan coming from the back of his throat. "Harder! I want you to fill me up Theo, it feels so good" Stiles managed to get the words out between moans. Theo obliged, moving his pelvis so fast that his lower back felt hot and hard, his whole body covered in sweat. He took Stiles by his neck with both hands.  

That made Stiles remember who he was with, he looked up, a fearful expression in his eyes, he didn't know what Theo was capable of and for a minute he thought Theo would choke him to death. He didn't though, Theo saw Stiles' face and smiled, his movements coming to a halt. He took his cock out of Stiles, his eyes gleaming with playfulness just to shove it back in without a warning, hitting his prostate and letting go of his neck.  

Stiles cried out, his vision turning white and his heart clenching in a jumble of emotions and feelings, the pain and fear mixed with his own, blinding, pleasure was unbearable, he felt like he was going to explode, almost reaching his much expected orgasm. He was not the only one, going by the way the chimera's moans and grunts became louder. Theo kept assaulting his prostate with another couple of deep thrusts before taking his cock out and starting jerking off, his hands making fast, almost erratic moves, his eyes wild with the urgency to reach release.  

Stiles couldn't take it anymore, aching with the necessity to finish, so he decides to take care of it himself, taking his cock on his hand and starting stroking fast. Theo noticed his attempts, and he wasn't going to allow it, so he took Stiles' wrist away, making him sob in protest "Did I said you could do that? The only one who can make you cum tonight is me" Theo said, dominating him with just a look of his eyes "Theo please, let me cum" Stiles pleaded, voice strangled with another suppressed sob of frustration. Theo ignored him, shutting him up by pressing their mouths together in a rough kiss, taking both of the human's wrists in his hand and using the other one to keep stroking his member. 

Theo was so close, Stiles bit his lower lip and that was it, he backed away, sitting on his heels, and without taking his eyes out of Stiles, nor letting go of his wrists, he finished, spurts of semen coming out of his tip, landing on Stiles' member, abs and jaw. Stiles felt the wet and warm sperm. It just made Stiles come closer to his edge, Theo knew, by the way his cock veins widened, Theo came close to his face licking the cum off Stiles' jaw, kissing and licking his way down his abs, leaving a path of spit down his body, until he finally reached the base of Stiles' length, licking his way to the tip, spitting on it and sucking it softly trying not to over stimulate him. Stiles felt as if he was being devoured, watching Theo eat him out with greedy eyes. Theo sucked Stiles deep throat, the warmth made Stiles felt the edge "I'm gonna cum" said Stiles as a warning for Theo to back off and let go, but he didn't. Stiles cummed inside Theo´s mouth, the salty taste invading his taste buds, and with Stiles' seed in his tongue, he felt like he was now owner of a part of him, that he now belonged to him somehow, and he wanted Stiles to feel it too, so he took him by his chin, kissing him again, his tongue forcing his lips open, making sure Stiles tasted himself in his mouth. Theo swallowed what was left, and so did Stiles.  

Theo let go of Stiles' hands, putting a hand in his hair and the other on his waist, he kissed him, the roughness and urgency long gone, forgotten, so they could kiss tenderly, softly, with a feeling that was way too close to relief, if they didn't know better, they would say it was romantic. Stiles sighed, tangling his arms around Theo's neck just as they parted, foreheads touching, faces so close, they shared the same air.  

"That was amazing" Stiles whispered, almost out of breath, close to his mouth. "Glad you liked it" Was Theo's response, a lazy grin in his lips, he gave a little peck to Stiles' own before falling by his side on the bed, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting his head on his shoulder. Stiles rested his head on Theo's and with that and a feeling of fullness, they fell asleep just listening to each others breathing.  


Theo woke up later to find Stiles resting on his chest. That had been two hours ago, and now he was so overwhelmed with everything that had happened he couldn't sleep, hell, he was almost sure that if he fell asleep again he would woke up to find that all of it had been a beautifully cruel dream.  

He stood up, trying not to wake Stiles up, and walked to the window running a hand through his hair. He looked to the sky, smiling to himself as he remembered the nights happenings, thanking for letting Stiles be his, even if it really was just for that little while.  

Theo turned around so he could watch Stiles sleep. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful, with the moonlight kissing his freckled cheeks, eyes fluttering in sleep and soft, kiss swollen, lips parted in a way that was so typically his. Theo couldn't fight the ache in his heart he felt every time he watched from afar, nor the desire to keep him forever in hopes that one day Stiles realized how much he loved him and said he felt the same way. 

Stiles stirred in his sleep, he must've felt his stare, eyelids half opening, weary with sleep "Hey babe, come back to bed" he said with a hoarse voice, lifting his arm to reach out to him, and those words almost melted him, making his heart thump heavily on his chest, they were all he had ever wanted to hear from Stiles. He was excited to say the least, so he came closer, taking Stiles' hand, the feeling of longing running through his veins and his eyes shining with new found hope.  

"There you go, you know how cold I get without you, give me some warmth, please Derek" Stiles was half asleep when he said it, and he knew it, he also knew his heart belonged to Derek and only Derek and that the reason this was happening in the first place was because Stiles was too drunk and needy at the moment to say no, so why did that statement hurt as much as it did? Why could he feel his heart braking just as it was starting to beat again? Why couldn't he move past these feelings? Why couldn't he let it pass and get back in bed just as Stiles had asked him? Easy, he hadn't. He wasn't the one Stiles was thinking about the whole time they were together, he wasn't the one he was dreaming about and most importantly, he wasn't the one Stiles was asking to share his warmth with. He was just second best, someone he could pin his frustration in to then forget about it and keep pinning for the one he really loved. Those realizations tore him apart.  

He let go of Stiles' hand as if he had brunt him, and in someway he had. He backed away, his knees almost failing him, and he started walking away, turning his back on Stiles' reached out hand, on his warmth, on his body, on his scent, on every little freckle and every little thing he loved about him.  

There was nothing else he could do, he knew as soon as that name came out of Stiles' mouth for the second time that night. Maybe there was one thing he could do to recover, so, with that thought in mind, he just started collecting his clothes, (that were scattered around the hall and the living room) and after getting dressed, he walked out of the loft without another word, the last thing he felt was a bitter tear rolling down his cheek just to die on the lethal smile that was starting to form on his lips.