He’d partied through the night celebrating the fact that he was on the top of the world or at least that was how he saw it while his sister Laura always called it just being a jackass living on family money which wasn’t true since Derek worked as hard as anyone at the Hale Publications. Derek worked hard enough to earn the fun he had. Still it seemed the universe didn’t think Derek deserved to continue to have all the fun he could without giving him a good kick in the balls at the very time of his life when he was the happiest, it just seemed to him like the universe truly thought anyone who was happy without a soulmate at their side had to be punched in the face just to prove some old myth true.
Derek stirred awake slowly while a pleasant feeling started to spread through his body, Derek had been awaken with this sensation more times than he could count on his fingers and toes to know what he would find once he unsealed his eyes, there was nothing more wonderful than waking-up with someone sucking your cock.
Derek can’t help but smile a little as he gazes down at the blue-eyed woman with bottle-blond hair bobbing her head between his legs, she wasn’t the best but he’d had worse blowjobs and she was eager to please or more desperate as she clearly thought he could help her rise to move from low-key catalog modeling to the more high-end stuff due tp his connections.
He’s getting closer to finding his release, and he just needs something more and so he starts to move his hand ready to place his hand at the back to the messy blond head trying to coax or guide her to just take it him all the way down her throat, but something dark and delicate on his wrist causes pauses him in his action and starts a sensation of dread spread through his body, as he brings his wrist closer his dick goes completely limp and all he can say is, `No.´ over and over again while he rubs at the Soulmark that had appeared on his skin during the night.
`What? Did I do something wrong?´ Angie, Vivian or whatever her name was asked while Derek was leaping out of bed and rushing into his bathroom where he proceeded to try and scrub the offending name off of his skin because this just couldn’t be happening. This had to be some sick joke.
This has to be a joke, one sick joke, Derek thinks as he continues to try and wash the bloody mark off of his skin, the mark however doesn’t fade not the slightest and he’s just about to have a complete mental breakdown. He's about to lose it all simply because of the name on his wrist, it was the name of the one person on the plant he knew wouldn’t give him a damn chance or even believe him if Derek turned-up outside his door waving around his damn wrist like some white flag, heck his soulmate wouldn't even give him the time of day if Derek did turn-up with a white flag.
`Are you okay? ´ the blond lady asks from behind the door, it takes everything in Derek to keep his voice steady as he tells this woman that he’d just forgotten that he had a meeting and he was now running late of course, Derek of course promised to call Miss. Plastic later which he of course wouldn’t.
Once Blondie left Derek got off of the bathroom floor and made his way into the bedroom. His legs are shaking as he walks and his heart is racing like crazy because he’d fucked everything up between his soulmate years ago and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass.
Derek sits down on his bed and just stares at the name that had appeared on his wrist, and he can’t help but think back to when he was younger and had a cruel-streak mile long, he’d turned eighteen when he’d done the cruelest thing he’d ever done; sure, he’d been drunk at the time he’d come-up with the idea of tattooing the name Stiles Stilinski on his wrist just where his own parents had the their soulmarks, it had felt like the perfect idea and the funniest as Erica’s brother tattooed the name of the kid that annoyed Derek more than any other person in the world.
He grabs his phone his hands shaking badly enough that he drops it.
Derek could easily recall even now while still slightly hungover by the wolfsbane-laced alcohol he’d downed the night before, not to mention the couple of pills he’d swallowed that were capable of making a werewolf to feel like they were suddenly the happiest and most chilled beings on earth the only side-affect was death if you happened to take even half-of-one of the little pills while being a 100% none-werewolf being; Derek could even now as he sat there hung-over and in a state of panic recall how Stiles hadn’t even questioned the false-mark Derek showed him after giving the kid a right good fright when he’d snuck into Stiles’ bedroom a couple of days after the false mark had been needled and inked into his skin before being burned lightly with a candle, it had been painful but Derek back then had thought the pain worth the laughter humiliating Stiles Stilinski the boy who just didn’t fit in anywhere.
With shaky hands Derek calls the only person he can trust to at the moment, it doesn’t take all that long for Boyd to pick-up even if by the disgruntled sounds coming from the other end that are distinctively feminine it’s clear his best friend isn’t alone.
`I’ve got my Soulmark.´ Derek says while getting up and off of the bed, he starts to pace around like a restless tiger one hand going through a lot of unnecessary motion.
`What? ´ Boyd asks he doesn’t sound any less messed-up than Derek at the moment and from the bitchy voice on the other end complaining about how it was too early to deal with anyone Derek knows that it’s not just some random chick Boyd had gone home with last night it was Erica, he often wondered why the two didn’t just stop waiting for their soulmarks and just started to date each other properly.
`I’ve got my soulmark Boyd and it’s fucking Stilinski! ´ Derek knows he’d probably kill anyone who dared to yell at him after a night of partying even if it was done through a phone.
`Wait? The Sheriff or…´ Boyd starts and from the unhappy protests of `It’s too early.´ and `Don’t go your my pillow´ Derek is fairly certain Boyd has left the comfort of his bed.
`Stiles, it’s fucking Stiles! ´ Derek screams as the panic in him rises because this is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to Derek.
There’s a moment of silence before Boyd finally says something, by then Derek had slowly started to accept the fact that he truly and undeniably was fucked, there’s a respectful amount of disbelief and sympathy that this situation deserved, `Holy shit.´ and then there’s a bit more silence before Boyd repeats the words, `Holy shit.´
`Exactly.´ Derek groans as he drops onto his messy bed, he tries not to think about what his still naked body might be laying on, usually after he sent away the woman or man he’d entertained for the night he’d change the sheet immediately and took a shower, but that the moment he’s unable to think about any of that.
`What are you going to do? ´ Boyd finally asks after giving both of them some much needed time to adjust to the fact that Stiles Stilinski the kid they’d driven to suicide was Derek Hale’s soulmate. Derek thinks he can hear Boyd’s broke-ass coffeemaker in the background coughing and wheezing why exactly Boyd kept that old thing is beyond Derek’s understanding.
`I don’t know.´ Derek responds honestly since he honestly doesn’t know what to do.
There’s a part of Derek, a cowardice part that is, that just wants to ignore it all and just burry his head in the sand, a childish part of him wanted to just try and get the stupid mark off of his skin so he could peacefully go on and ignore the fact that he had a soulmate; but unlike with the stupid tattoo that nearly landed his ass in jail a genuine soulmark couldn’t be removed, there were even documented cases where the mark would reappear on another visible part of the body when the arm where the soulmark sat was removed.
`Have you even seen him since – well you know?´ Boyd asks voice a little bit low with possible worry for how Derek was going to deal with this mess since he didn’t have the best track record when it came to acting wisely, there was also an underlining of guilt there as well that Derek could hear although Boyd hadn’t been onboard with the prank he still hadn’t done a thing to stop it which clearly still bothered Boyd; hell, the incident had broken their friendship up for a while since Boyd couldn’t even look at Derek but eventually they’d reconnected and although the friendship was no longer as carefree and Boyd no longer trusted Derek the same way as before they were in a good place.
Boyd might not say the words Derek doesn’t want to hear but they are there in the silence, the original sentence slightly altered from the one Boyd had spat at him all those years ago in the oddly gloomy hall of their high school after the whispers of Stiles Stilinski’s attempted suicide started to trickle through; Boyd had accused Derek of being the reason why Stilinski had slit his wrists, but it had taken years to accept the fact that perhaps Boyd and the judge that had been bought by his parents or uncle Peter had been right and even then Derek hadn’t had the guts to apologize to either one of the Stilinski’s. Although Derek had pretty much got away with his little disastrous stunt with a slap on the wrists his parents had almost disowned him but in the end his part of the Hale fortune was safe and he was able to live comfortably, but while his parents and Laura had forgiven him Cora still seemed cold and distant towards him only playing nice around their parents.
`Derek? Are you there? ´ Boyd asks he sounds worried like the time Derek fell-down the deep end a couple of years ago when the girl he’d fallen for hard suddenly got her soulmark and it wasn’t Derek’s name that had decorated her pale skin, Paige had left him that very morning and Derek spend six months drinking and crying until Laura with Boyd slapped some sense into him,
`Yeah I’m here.´ Derek sighs before pinching the bridge of his nose the headache was just growing and growing inside his skull, ` No. No, I haven’t seen him. Why would I? ´
`I don’t know.´ Boyd responds in that way which tells him that Boyd had honestly hoped Derek had answered differently, ` Thought maybe you’d found the spine to actually apologize to him.´ Boyd responds without saying, “You should’ve done that, you know, you should’ve apologized to him in person.” then with a sigh his best friend asks him, `Would you like to – I don’t know – see him, talk with him? ´
And that was the question, wasn’t it? Did Derek really want to spend however long it would take before his very own name would appear on Stiles scarred wrist, and did he want to risk waking-up one day with the realization that enough time had passed already and Stiles mark should’ve already appeared and that Stiles had chosen not to seek him out? Derek could see it happen, he could easily imagine that Stiles would decide to live the rest of his life without his soulmate because it was him Derek Hale the asshole who’d pretty much tormented him from kindergarten all the way up to his sophomore year of high school.
Derek had to also ask himself the question whether or not he could hide the mark from his family until the day Stiles came knocking at his door or Derek died, the chances were slim to none that he could succeed in such a thing.
But the big, gigantic, question truly was whether or not Derek really wanted to give-up the chance of having the sort of partnership that would never have him questioning if it was the right one? And then there the other big question did he really never want to have kids of his own, after all it was known that only soulmates were able to carry on to have offspring’s it didn’t matter if the couple were of same sex the blessing of the universe or the Gods or whatever you wanted to believe in granted fertility to only those who’d found their soulmate.
`I – I don’t know.´ Derek breathes out slowly hand running over his face a couple of times as he fought to regain some clarity, ` Maybe?´ and maybe he did want to see Stilinski after all hadn’t Derek spent a large part of his life wishing he’d find his soulmate one day, especially after the whole Paige fiasco? Wasn’t he just a little bit jealous over Peter and Chris, Laura and Deucalion, hell even Cora had found her mate in Lydia Martine while their cousin Jackson had found his soul mate in Danny Mahealani and Jackson his cousin and Danny they had all found their soulmates and didn’t he feel just a small sting of jealousy and resentment towards them for it?
`You know,´ Boyd says in that slow way that always causes the hairs at the back of his neck to stand on edge, ` You know the new personal assistant your mother has - Isaac Lahey?´
`The new guy, right and Erica’s new best friend forever, right? ´ Derek responds after giving it some thought, Boyd gives a confirmative grunt.
`So, what about him? ´ Derek asks as he slowly gets up and off of the bed, he’s feeling the thirst for coffee suddenly.
`Erica told me Isaac Lahey and Scott McCall are soulmates, they are months away from tying the knot.´ the name Scott McCall was always connected in Derek’s mind with Stiles Stilinski, since kindergarten the two boys had been thick as thieves or had been until high school when Scott got bit by a rogue Alpha and Scott started to find friends that weren’t Stiles. These days Scott McCall was better known as the True Alpha and not as Stiles Stilinski’s best friend, it was also a little bit hard to forget the person who couldn’t stop glaring or growling at him every time they’re paths crossed not to mention the jaw-breaking punch McCall had given him at the party that had followed after Derek had revealed that he wasn’t Stiles soulmate as well as the jaw and nose breaking and the concussion that had followed when the news of Stiles’ suicide had spread amongst the students.
` You know, if you want I can ask Erica to if she could talk to Isaac, to ask if he could help us get in touch with Stilinski.´ Derek didn’t need to know Boyd as well as he did to know that he didn’t want to ask Erica to risk her budding friendship with Isaac since she didn’t have all that many friends that weren’t in their pack, and so he declined the offer telling Boyd he would handle it without alerting McCall to anything.
The private investigator had been a sleazy little weasel but he’d managed to dig up stuff on Stiles Stilinski fairly quickly, in two days after Derek had contacted the man Peter used frequently the guy called Matt handed him a folder containing not only Stiles medical records since birth to present day but also school records and internet activity as well as some random shit Derek didn’t care about. Matt had offered to continue to look into Stiles, but Derek had declined such an offer since something about Matt Daehler made Derek’s wolf feel like there was a threat there that needed to be annihilated.
There were things in the documents Derek been given that had left him feeling like someone had gutted him, he could’ve lived without knowing that Stiles had tried to take his life not once, not twice but three times before Stiles was sent to Eichen House where he stayed for two years before, Derek could’ve lived without knowing that the Sheriff had to sell Stiles’ childhood home to pay for the stay.
He’s nervous, dreadfully so as he makes his way to the apartment where the two Stilinski’s had set-up house, the one bedroom apartment was hardly the place Derek had thought the two Stilinski’s to have chosen to live in but the rent was of course cheap which had to be the only reason why Sheriff Stilinski and his son had moved into such a dreary place, the stench of filth, misery and other things that made Derek feel an urge to stop breathing was so thick it was positively suffocating.
The narrow corridor or stained and time-worn doors was dimply lit simply because there were far more broken lights than functioning ones, he was almost glad that his Uncle was planning to buy this very apartment building as well as the two next to it and bulldoze it all to hell and build a set of new ones but of course that meant that the Stilinski’s would lose yet another place they called home.
Derek swears to himself as he pauses at apartment 5F that he would try and fix things, after all Stiles was his soulmate.
He can hear a TV playing inside the apartment, he can also hear two heartbeats one which was somewhat weaker than the other, he hears the way the knock startles the two men in the apartment; he easily hears the Sheriff tell his son to lock himself in the bathroom just in case which causes Derek’s hackles rise, Stiles says nothing but he’s on the move slowly and full of hesitation.
Derek thinks about calling out to the two clearly frightened men but then decides not too because the chances of the door opening after he’d announced his presence would be slim to none, so Derek held his tongue and focused on not just running back home with his tail between his legs.