Screaming fills the small room of Deaton's office, “Bring Derek to me or I’ll kill every one of you fuckers! Mother fuckers, you better bring him to me or I’ll-”
Stiles wailed, pushing as hard as he could, wanting to deliver this baby more than anything in his entire life. His sweet baby girl, who was about to be born without the presence of her second daddy.
“If you mother fuckers don’t have Derek in here in five seconds I’m not having this baby,” Stiles bellows, clamping his hands on the sides of the operating table. This table is where fucking dog babies are born, and it’s kind of degrading.
Scott looks scared, and Deaton just seems tired, “Listen, Mr. Stilinski, we’ve tried to contact the alpha already, but he’s not picking up-”
“I don’t fucking care, Deaton,” Stiles cries, a contraction rolls through him and he feels the tears stream down his face, “Get him here or else.”
Scott rushes to his side, black veins leeching away the pain, and comforting him. Honestly, where is Derek? Their daughter is being brought onto this earth and Derek is probably hanging out with Isaac or Boyd. Before he can think of any other conspiracies, Derek comes sprinting through the door, eyes red and full of panic. “Stiles?”
“Derek!” Stiles sobs in relief, the blow of another contraction leaves him breathless.
Deaton walks calmly over to Stiles, examining his gaping asshole, then leveling his eyes with Stiles, “Okay, time to start the birth. You’re officially ten centimeters dilated.”
“Start the birth? What the hell have I been doing for that past hour and a half?” Stiles snaps, then cringes in pain as Scott pulls his hand back. Derek quickly takes over and is better than any epidural Stiles could have hoped for.
Deaton pulls on a pair of latex gloves, and signals Scott some kind of doctor signal. “I’m going to need you to push,” Deaton says.
Stiles groans, “I’ve been pushing, Doc, nothing happens.”
“Try again,” Deaton suggest, cold fingers prodding his asshole, worse than any prostate exam Stiles has ever experienced.
Stiles knew he looked like crap; with his hair sweaty and matted against his forehead and his face and new double chin probably flushed. But, as he started pushing, Derek gave him a look of pure admiration.
Two laborious hours later, the baby still hadn’t been delivered.
Deaton was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, mumbling about birth complications. Derek ran his hand across Stiles jaw, cheek and the bridge of his nose.
“You’re doing so good, Stiles,” Derek whispered in his ear.
“Thanks, Derek,” Stiles smiled groggily, he’d been on the verge of sleeping for the past thirty minutes, but the pain in his abdomen was too much. That was when the baby finally decided to crown.
The baby was literally destroying his asshole, and he knew she was tearing his gooch.
Deaton was, for once, startled into action, pulling out some grilling tongs, “Get those away from my anus Deaton. I know hot, but I’m not a piece of meat.”
At least his destroyed shitter didn't mean he lost his sense of humor.
Minutes later, the sound of their daughter, howling her lungs out, slashed through the room. Their daughter.
She was beautiful.
She was beautiful and suddenly in Stiles arms, crying and snotting all over his bare chest.
Derek had protectively hovered himself over Stiles and the baby, looking at them like it was his mission to protect them.
“Hey, Deaton,” Scott voice surprises Stiles from the other side of the room, “Can you tell if the baby is human or wolf?”
Deaton hums, “She looks human.”
Stiles actually weeps.
His perfect little girl, how fragile and gooey and utterly human she turned out to be.
“What’s her name?” Scott asked, coming closer to examining her, pen snapping as he pulled out the registration papers. Deaton had been the official "Midwife", but ever since Scott had taken those veterinarian classes at the community college over the summer, he'd been interested in human biology.
Derek starts to say the chosen name they’d spent half his pregnancy deciding. They were going to name her Claudia, after his late mother, but now seeing his baby girl so close and real, the name didn’t sit right.
Stiles placed a hand on Derek's, gripping it and sending the werewolf a fond glance, “Her name is Laura. Laura Talia Hale.”
And the admiring look on Derek's face splits into something else.