Work Header

A Match Made in Some Carrot Heaven

Work Text:

Deep in a forest, lives a Grumpy Bunny.

The Grumpy Bunny has a proper name, but at this point of the story it is not very important and so we are going to stick to a more descriptive, very fitting nickname.

The Grumpy Bunny has a very important duty, one that he took up on himself: he skips through the forest day in and day out, keeping a twitchy eye on the forest and its inhabitants, making sure that everything stays the same, calm and steady and safe.

Nobody in the forest know about the important work the Grumpy Bunny does, as the Grumpy Bunny is as dark as the night (well, a full moon one, so not all that dark) and only hops in the deepest shades.

This works just fine for the Grumpy Bunny, who hasn’t spoken to anyone since The Great Blaze that swept through the forest many Springs ago and took away the Grumpy Bunny’s family.

That is a sad chapter in the Grumpy Bunny’s life, though, and this story is not about that anyway, so we are going to leave that pile of angst in the past where it belongs.


As per usual, the Grumpy Bunny starts his day hopping out of his home at dawn, rubbing his face, stretching his legs.

But on this particular day, he’s in the middle of combing the fur on his ears when the morning breeze tickles his nose with a mysterious smell.

The Grumpy Bunny does not like this smell.

Actually, to be more precise, the Grumpy Bunny finds this smell enchanting, but he doesn’t like new, mysterious things disrupting the calm and steady environment he works so hard to maintain.

It’s 50/50 whether he likes this New Smell Situation.

The Grumpy Bunny is the forest self-appointed peace keeper, and it is his duty to investigate. With a twitch of his nose, the Grumpy Bunny is off into the bushes, swift and silent on the dewy ground.

The Grumpy Bunny hops all the way to the other side of the forest, where the smell is coming from. When he comes to a stop at a clearing, he is confused by the sight of a spotted bunny. The invader is pushing leaves into a messy pile, making a ruckus and stacking sticks into a large nest that could fit a whole herd.

The Grumpy Bunny observes the intruder silently, trying to guess what his nefarious plan is. The spotted bunny seems pretty sure of what he is doing, but if there’s an order to this chaos, the Grumpy Bunny can’t see it.

Suddenly, the intruder stills, flicks his long ears, jumps up on his hind legs, and in two bounds is nose to nose with the Grumpy Bunny.

The Grumpy Bunny stumbles back, but the spotted bunny just hops once more and looks at the Grumpy Bunny with questioning eyes,

“Easter Bunny?” he asks.

The Grumpy Bunny is more confused than ever.

I am a bunny from the Eastern side, not that it’s any of your business, and you are a trespassing one-”

“Actually I’m a spotted hare-“

“-on the land I protect- ”

“Are you a vigilante?

“-and I am known as the Grumpy Bunny”

“Well,” says the Spotted Hare “no wonder”

The Grumpy Bunny puffs up his cheeks, ready to put an end to this harebrained conversation, when something pulls at his cottontail.

There are three tiny bunnies chewing on his fur, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Um” mumbles the Spotted Hare “Sorry about that. I was looking for eggs, you know, because of the surprises? But I found these kits instead. They are just as small but have more teeth”

The Spotted Hare looks back and forth between the baby bunnies and the Grumpy Bunny,

“Do you know how to raise kits? I’ve always wanted to settle down with somebunny one day, and these are not hares, but they could be my heirs!"

The Grumpy Bunny is vaguely aware of the Spotted Hare talking - something about hoping to ask the Easter Bunny for help but guessing a vigilante has more stamina that a once-a-year-wonder anyway - but he’s more focused on the triplet trying to burrow into his side for a nap. He’s baffled: they really are as small as eggs.

“Are you sure you are the Grumpy Bunny? You don’t look very grumpy to me”

The Grumpy Bunny looks up at the Spotted Hare, who’s looking back with a tiny smile.

“I’m Stiles, by the way”

His floppy ear is very cute.

The Grumpy Bunny rubs his nose, shuffles his paws a bit, looks at the slumbering kits warming his side, and then back at Stiles.

“I know a better place for a nest” he says, and then “My name is Derek”.