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In some way, I'm there with you

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The night was calm, moonlight shining through the window, casting a shadow on the boys pale face, hiding his bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks. Stiles layed in bed staring at the ceiling as he tried to slow his mind down, but to no avail. His depression was getting worse, and he was in no place to continue fighting it. He needed something, anything that would make his problems go away, even if it was temporary.

He sat up, wiping his eyes, trying to think of something else when he remembered that his dad had a few bottles of whiskey stashed in his liquor cabinet. He knew it was probably going to make his situation worse, but he didn't exactly care. He let out a huff as he stood up, and went to search his fathers cabinet. 

Feet dragging across the carpet as he made his down the stairs, and into the dining room. He flicked on the light switch and the room lit up with a warm yellow glow, revealing his fathers cabinet. There was a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels resting on top. Without hesitation he swiped the bottle, unscrewing the cap, taking a large swig. He cringed as it hit his taste buds. His chest started to burn, but he shrugged it off as he took another swig  and took the rest to his room.

He walked into his room and set the bottle down on his nightstand as he reached under his bed, pulling out a small box, then emptying out the contents onto his bed. Photographs, letters, and a few other misc things. A dull ache began to form in his chest as he began looking through the old memories. His eyes began filling with tears  when he picked up a photo of him and Derek. He weakly smiled, remembering what was.

Stiles knew their relationship was coming to an end. He felt guilty as he started to realize that he had forsaken Derek. He'd  been too busy dealing with his own problems, he'd forgotten about Derek's needs. 

Derek had always made sure to put stiles first. It broke his heart because Derek loved him so much and gave him everything, and in return, he neglected him. It wasn't fair, and he knew it. 

He knew what he had to do. He reached for  the bottle, and took a swig before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone with a shakey hand. He hesitantly unlocked it, and tapped on Derek's contact. His hand began to shake and his arms felt incredibly weak as he slowly put the phone up to his ear.

After a few rings, Stiles heard Derek's voice.

"'s 3 in the morning." The man said in a raspy voice. His heart began pounding uncontrollably "Sorry, I...uhh.. We need to talk." His said with a shakey voice.

"Stiles, is everything ok?" Derek asked worriedly. Stiles paused for a moment "No..." He replied. 

"can i come over?" He asked, running his hands through his hair anxiously. "Stiles, you don't have to ask." The man asked, yawning over the phone. 

"Oh..yeah..I'll be over soon." he said, before hanging up abruptly. 

Stiles let out a shakey breath as pocketed his phone and grabbed his keys. He took one last drink from the almost empty bottle before quietly walking down stairs, and out the front door, shutting the door quietly. He stood still for a moment, staring at his jeep that was illuminated by the streetlight directly above it. He gripped his keys tightly as he made his way around to the drivers seat. He reached out with a shakey hand and pulled on the door handle, creaking as it swung open. 

He sat down in the worn out seat, shutting the door before inserting the keys into the ignition. The engine revved to life. He pushed a small handle up, turning on his headlights before pulling out of his drive way.

He tapped on the steering wheel nervously,    as he cruised down the highway. He felt guilty knowing that Derek was completely clueless as to what was about to happen. He was contemplating on turning around and forgetting about everything, but he knew that he had to do this. 

After driving for sometime, he pulled into the familiar parking lot that belonged to Derek's loft. He put the car in park and cut the engine. He sat there, staring at the massive building. "You can do this." He reminded himself "You have to do this." 

His legs felt like jello as he stepped out of his car and onto the pavement. His palms became sweaty and a lump began to form on his throat as he made his way inside, and pressed the elevator buttons. He tapped his foot on the concrete floors, becoming impatient as the lift made its way down. The gates opened and were followed by a soft ding. He stepped inside and hesitantly pressed the worn out button, waiting for the gates to close once again. 

After what felt like forever, the gates opened, reavealing a dim hallway with a fake plant along with the door to Derek's place. Inhaling deeply, he lifted a shaking hand and began knocking. Not to long after the door opened revealing a shirtless Derek. 

"Stiles" Derek had a tired smile plastered on his face as he pulled the boy into his arms. He was warm. Stiles always felt safe when Derek hugged him, as if things were actually going to be ok. Stiles wrapped his arms around the mans large frame and nuzzled into his chest. He got carried away for a moment, too busy enjoying Derek's presence until he reminded himself of why he was there.

He regretfully let go, stepping out of the mans hold, and made his way into the living room. He took a seat on the soft black couch, leaning his head back as he stared at the tall ceilings and began fidgeting with his hands. 

"So..what'd you want to talk about?" Derek  asked, taking a seat next to stiles. "Oh..just..stuff" he replied nervously. 

"Stiles, are you ok? You're acting really weird.." Derek raised an eyebrow. "Me? Yeah...I'm fine..great actually" he lied, forcing a weak smile. 

"If you say so." Derek said, chuckling lightly "I have something planned for you. I was gonna suprise you, but I figured since you were already here I might as well tell you." He said with a large grin.

"Derek.." Stiles interrupted "That's what I came here to talk about." He said feeling guilty as he watched the smile slowly fade off his lovers face. "It's not working out." He said and immediately felt a large lump began to form in his throat. 

He looked up and saw nothing but heartbreak on Derek's face. His blue eyes began to fill with tears "stiles..." 

"I'm sorry, Derek" he said, lip quivering as tears began making their way down his cheek. 

"Please..please don't do this." The heartbroken man pleaded "was it something I did?" He said with his head resting on his hands. 

Stiles shook his head and watched as tears began pouring from the other mans eyes. He chest began tightening at the sight of his heartbroken lover. 

He stood up, wiping his tears "Derek.." He said quietly, watching the man lift his head, revealing his bloodshot eyes. He cupped the mans jaw, and placed a soft kiss on his lips.  

"Goodbye, Derek"