Jim Gordon took a sip of his almost cold and certainly disgusting coffee, looking out at his city from the roof of the station. He had the habit to go there to think, he didn't know when it began but now every time something worried him he would go there and spend some time alone in the almost complete darkness.
The city unfolded in front of him, almost quiet at that time of night—crooks and other small time villains unchecked now the Dark Knight wasn't a threat to them. And obvious threat at least.
He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he missed those little reunions they used to have. The planning, the thrill of the chase and most of all the satisfaction of knowing, at the end of the day, that they had made the city a little bit safe. Together.
But they all had to make sacrifices—Dent gave up his life and sanity, Batman gave up his freedom and he--
Yes they all made sacrifices for the city and Gordon's was the smallest one.
At least he knew they were still alive, and they were still close even if that situation wasn't going to last much longer.
Barbara had been clear about it, he couldn't have everything.
I knew I was marrying a cop, and I could live with that. The fear, the worry, not knowing when that knock on the door would come and I'd see your partner looking at me with pity. I knew it, but at the end of the day that was the man I fell in love with, so I had to endure.
And the knock came, and I survived it. For the kids. For you.
And honestly, Gordon couldn't blame her. He had made them suffer and cry so many others in the city, people who didn't know about sacrifices, wouldn't.
And the worst part was they might have saved their relationship after that, it would have taken some work from both parts but they could have. Only they made Gordon Commissioner, and now that chance was out of his reach.
He just didn't have the time to save everything.
He made his choice.
But not anymore.
I've always known I was second in your heart and I didn't mind. You didn't marry me, you took me as your mistress, your woman on the side. Your true love has always been Gotham, and now she won't give you the time to see us anymore. Even worse, you've found another mistress.
Don't deny it, Jim. We're not second or even third anymore in your heart. You care more about that Batman than you do about us. And I know, I know he saved Jimmy and us, but still I can see how you jump to follow him when he appears.
If it had been another woman I might have competed against her to win you back, but what chances do we have against him?
She was right, of course. She had always been and that was one of the reason he loved her so much. There was no denying they loved each other, she was the only woman he had ever looked at, the only one he had ever desired.
She had not left, yet. But they both knew it was over. They still went through the motions for the kids sake, not looking in the eye when they had breakfast together and kissed them goodnight. The nights he was home, that's it.
They were just bidding their time, knowing they had lost their connection and grieving it together.
But soon he would come home one night and find it empty. He knew that.
Or it might come a day when he didn't come home at all.
I'm sorry, Jim. And I know you are. We didn't want this or planned for it to happen.
But the truth is, it's happening.
And if it gives you even a small amount of comfort, you are not alone. You still have your first love. It might not warm your bed at night, but Gotham will never leave you.
It's more than what you've left me with.
"I'm sorry, Barbara," he whispered in the dark roof.
"Commissioner Gordon," a gruff voice at his back startled him, and Gordon turned to face the Batman, shrouded in shadows close to the dead floodlight.
He closed his eyes for a second and sighed. Barbara was right, as always.
He wasn't alone.