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I HAVE QUESTIONS. 

Okay, so I was thinking about The Cursed Child (SPOILERS BTW) and I just… realized something? I haven’t read the The Cursed Child, but bear with me on this because it’s IMPORTANT. 

Alright, so Voldemort and Bellatrix have a kid together, right? Now, I personally like to imagine that they were actually sleeping together (the answer to this ask explains my headcanons on the matter more in depth) but even if Bellatrix wasn’t doing the do with You-Know-Who and you did Polyjuice-Potion-style baby-making or whatever… Is Delphi really biologically his kid? 

Because if Delphi was conceived after Bellatrix’s breakout from Azkaban and born before the Battle of Hogwarts, then that means the biological component from Voldemort would have been from his second body. The resurrected-in-the-graveyard one that we only know to be made of a) MAGIC, b) Tom Riddle Senior, b) Peter Pettigrew, and c) Harry Potter. So is Delphi even biologically the original Tom Riddle Junior’s kid? Wasn’t that body destroyed? 

Because holy shit, friends, just imagine if Delphi was the child of Voldemort’s second body instead of the original Tom Riddle Junior body. The options are glorious. Is Delphi biologically the kid of A) Voldemort’s “filthy Muggle father” and therefore his biological half-SISTER? B) Peter Pettigrew’s daughter and therefore a THIRD MARAUDER KID next to Harry and Teddy? C) Harry Potter’s secret, illegitimate daughter with Bellatrix Lestrange through Voldemort? Or D) all of the above and not at all a descendant of Salazar Slytherin? (If Voldemort knowingly had a kid, his attempt at continuing the line failed!

Just… like… *somebody does a DNA test on Delphi*

Nurse: “Congratulations, Mister Potter, it’s a girl.” 

Harry: “…What the fuck.” 

Delphi: “WHAT THE FUCK.” 

Ginny doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Albus is DISTRAUGHT. Lily is like, “I didn’t want another sister THIS WAY.” James just goes up to his father like, “I knew your philandering ways would tear this family apart! The scandal!” before fainting dramatically onto the nearest piece of furniture. 

New ficlet, holy shit. I’m going to have fun with this one.