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Why do I go to extremes?

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Your every breath feels like a stab and you are afraid a lung has been punctured. You wheeze as you stumble along in the dark and wet forest, the ground pricking at your bare feet even as the rain hammers down on your unprotected body. You are hungry and thirsty and wounded. You are scared.

A little further along you spot what may pass as a cave and you make your way over to it. It turns out to be no more than three rocks leaning against one another but you take whatever shelter you can find. Out of the rain you begin licking your wounds.

A gash on your forehead has bled into your eyes but you ignore that, the real danger is the cut on your side. Your breath comes in short stutters and when you prod at your cut flesh a jolt of pain shoots through you.

You need to heal and you need to rest but where? Here? You don’t even know where you are anymore. You shudder against the cold wind and think of your family. Would they help you if you came to them like this, pleading and hurt? No, probably not.

You glance in the direction you were going and can make out some lights far away. The rain makes reality distorted but you think what you see is some sort of settlement, most probably humans. You don’t want to go near humans right now but you ran for so long that you are not even sure which way you came from.

You just need some rest. You will continue in the morning and hopefully your wounds will have stopped bleeding. Continue south, if you can tell which way that is. North is back home but you are not welcome anymore so better to go in the opposite direction.

You shudder again when a stronger gust of wind blows rain sideways against you and you lean your head back, closing your eyes. You are tired and lonely and wounded. And somehow you think that the wetness on your cheeks is not only rain and blood. But it can’t be anything else because Alphas don’t cry.

Then again, you are not Alpha anymore. You are nothing.



It was late in the evening, night even, when Dean finally left the Roadhouse out by the E1450 Road in Lawrence, where he had been drinking together with Sammy and Garth. Man, they had just thought to meet up and celebrate that Sam’s latest exam season was over and Dean hadn’t thought they would be staying this long. He wasn’t complaining, though. He really liked the Roadhouse and the fact that his kinda, sorta surrogate mom, Ellen, owned it made the drive out to it worth it. Plus it was close to where he worked down by North 2nd Street, in Bobby’s, his kinda, sorta surrogate dad’s, Auto Maintenance shop.

But it was late now and Dean was dead tired. When Ellen’s daughter Jo, Sam and Dean’s kinda, sorta surrogate little sister, had joined their table Dean knew he was done for the evening. Jo was too young to drink herself but she was excellent at egging the boys on and Dean had kept his drinking to a minimum so he wouldn’t get a hangover, wouldn’t want her ruining that. Plus, he couldn’t sit there and watch Garth trying to flirt with the barmaids without getting embarrassed so he had gracefully bowed out.

He debated for a moment whether he was too drunk to drive but decided that no, he was fine. He seldom drank that much at the Roadhouse anyway, what with Ellen hovering and the place being so far from his apartment. He dug his key out of the pocket of his leather jacket, whistling to himself as he walked towards his car, his pride and joy.

It was a nice night, the air crisp but not overly cold in the early spring and the night sky clear enough to actually show some stars. It was in the middle of the week so even though it was very late the E1450 was still very busy and so it was nothing short of a miracle that he heard the pained noise coming from one of the bushes beside the Roadhouse parking lot.

He stopped dead in his tracks and cocked his head to the side, trying to sort out the ruckus the passing cars were making to see if he had imagined the sound or not. But no, there it was again. A barely there grunt of distinct discomfort. Someone was lying the bushes and sounded either hurt or drunk off their ass.

Dean deliberated but not for long. Sure, he wanted to go home and he was tired as fuck but he was free tomorrow what with his irregular work schedule and he couldn’t ignore it when someone needed help. Anyway, he would just have to bring the person inside the Roadhouse and Ellen would take care of the rest, he knew. No one was more mothering than her.

So he walked cautiously over to the bushes.

"Hey, man. You okay?" he called before he reached them and by the surprised sound that got him he thought it was good he had thought to announce his presence. "I’m gonna help you, alright?" he stated calmly and pushed the bushes aside only to stop dead in his tracks, just staring at the being on the other side.

It was an Alpha, that much Dean could immediately see. Its eyes shone unnaturally in the light, the Were’s ears were slightly pointy like most Weres, the Alpha cock thick at the base and totally in Dean’s face. Yep, that was absolutely a badly bruised, naked Alpha. It was a hurt and scared, snarling Alpha, lying on his back propped up against the Roadhouse wall, eying Dean with utter mistrust. It was an Alpha with the biggest, bluest eyes Dean had ever seen.

Dean swallowed with an audible click.

This was not good, for many reasons. One being that this Alpha was injured and Alphas were dangerous on a normal day. An Alpha such as this could easily tear out Dean’s throat, Dean knew. The only thing stopping any Were from attacking a human on a daily basis was the fact that Weres were subjugated to humans’ ownership. Meaning that humans kept Weres as pets, basically. But this Alpha didn’t have a collar on and that could only mean that either he had been thrown away by his owner, who might or might not have been the one to beat him, or this was a Feral Alpha. And if this was a hurt, Feral Alpha, Dean might have just signed his own death warrant.

He couldn’t run away, he knew. The Alpha was injured, sure, but Weres were tougher than humans by far and a Feral might react to Dean running by chasing after him; chasing after the prey.

So Dean did the only thing he could think of, the thing that had been printed into every human child by every loving parent. Namely: if confronted with a hostile Were, do not fight until fighting is inevitable. Show your respect.

Weres were dangerous and had very beast-like tendencies and characteristics but they weren’t in fact animals. No, they occupied the space somewhere in-between human and beast and they could talk; could be reasoned with. And Domesticated Weres, whether Manufactured or Farmed, were very used to humans, some even feared humans. Ferals were a gambit, though, so respect was even more important here.

So Dean lowered himself slowly to one knee and reached out his left hand, palm up and wrist clearly displayed in the universal sign of trust between humans and Weres. The Alpha eyed his movements cautiously the whole time, eyes never leaving Dean and Dean was already sweating. If he was lucky he might be able to run far enough towards the Roadhouse’s front door that someone would hear him scream.

"Not gonna hurt you." Dean murmured in a soothing tone and held his wrist up for the Alpha to scent. Dean didn’t know very much about Weres but he definitely knew they had incredible sense of smell and that they would be able to tell a person’s intentions by feeling their scent. The first meeting with a new Were often included a scenting to show trust. He was well aware that the Alpha probably could smell his fear and he hoped that that would give the creature some kind of indication that Dean was sincere.

At the last moment he turned his head away, trying to display a submissive nature because fuck if Dean was going to challenge a freaking Alpha for dominance.

The Alpha made a soft sound that Dean didn’t know how to interpret and suddenly the Were had pushed himself to his knees and leaned over to fucking scent Dean’s neck, right where his shoulder met his neck and shit, this was another reason why this was a bad idea.

Dean had one big secret, one secret that no one in the world knew and that hopefully no one would ever know and that was that Dean’s biggest sexual fetish was Alphas. Alphas in rut, Alphas taking humans, taking human males, pounding their big knot into a helpless human who could do nothing but wail in pleasure as the Alpha snarled above him.

Humans kept Weres as pets and while having sex with Weres technically wasn’t bestiality, is was strictly looked down upon and fell into the sexual assault category. It was just wrong was what it was. Weres looked human except for minute differences but they certainly weren’t human, it would be inter-species sex and just no.

But Dean loved it. He had never thought to act upon it, though. For many reasons but the main absolutely being that human’s weren’t allowed and everyone would hate him. He knew there were Manufactured Weres that were kept as sex pets but that, too, was technically forbidden. In Texas he could even end up in jail.

The Alpha didn’t know any of that, of course, and just used the shocked moment to get a really deep whiff of Dean’s scent. And Dean could do nothing but sit there and hope the Were wouldn’t rip his throat out or, somehow worse, smell his impending arousal.

But the Alpha seemed okay with what he found because he slowly detached a moment later and Dean tried his best to immediately forget what it had felt like when the Alpha breathed on his slightly sweaty skin.

"We good?" he asked and watched the Alpha’s immensely blue eyes roam his body. "Will you let me help you, Alpha?"

The Were made a grunt that sounded somewhat affirmative and sat back a little. Dean took the opportunity to try and figure out what exactly had happened and he cringed visibly when he saw how the Were’s genitals were bruised, as if someone had fucking beaten his dick. He also had a gash just below his ribs on his left side and the skin around it was bruised too. He noticed a couple of other cuts too and even more, smaller bruises. Nothing appeared to be bleeding openly, though, so that was good Dean thought. Still, the Alpha was covered in blood and Dean would need to wash him before he could make sure of the extent of the damage. Also, there was the concern of internal bleeding as well, if the big bruises on the Were’s stomach was anything to go by.

He looked up only to realize that the Alpha was staring directly at his face. Dean blushed a little despite himself because that gaze was fucking intense. He cleared his throat awkwardly and sat back on his haunches.

"Where’s your owner?" he asked cautiously and was met with a low, warning growl. It rumbled out of the Alpha’s throat from deep within his chest and Dean did his best not to shiver. "Okay." He said soothingly. "No owner, my mistake."

Well, not mistake as much as gamble. Looking at the Alpha this close up he was pretty certain it was a Feral Were but he couldn’t be sure until he asked and now he knew. Knew that he was not out of the woods just yet and definitely knew he couldn’t take the Were to a Vet, even if he could find one who was open at this time of night. No, if he took a Feral Alpha to a veterinarian they would probably have him put down because Ferals were being advertised as dangerous

He looked over to the Roadhouse and deliberated for a moment. Was it wise to ask Ellen for help with this? She and Sam were both his family but he wasn’t so sure they shared his liberal thinking regarding Ferals. Or, rather, that maybe they did but just that they wouldn’t be so fast to accept that the Alpha wouldn’t hurt them, either out of fright or anger.

When he looked over he saw that the Alpha was still studying him and he couldn’t help but smile slightly, to show that he was a nice guy if nothing else. The Alpha surprised him by tilting his head to the side and mimicking Dean’s smile. The Alpha’s lips quirked at the corners and Dean’s smile grew.

"Can I touch your stomach?" he asked, still in that low murmur so as not to upset their tender trust.

The Alpha’s brow furrowed in confusion and he looked down to his scratched and bloodied stomach. Dean couldn’t help but follow the other’s gaze and maybe he happened to get a look of the Were’s cock again. It was totally involuntarily and while the sight of it so badly hurt made his heart ache it also made his cheeks flush because shit, the Alpha was hung. Like most Alpha’s, Dean supposed, but actually seeing an Alpha naked in real life was definitely different than watching it on a badly filmed porno.

"It’s…" Dean cleared his throat again when the Alpha looked up at the sound of his voice. "You could have internal bleeding, would you let me check?" he saw the Were mouthing the words internal bleeding and Dean couldn’t help but smile again.

All Weres Dean had encountered, whether in person or on videos, could talk and he didn’t think Ferals were any different but he also knew that some of them communicated more with different sounds, more like animals. This Alpha was clearly one of those — or so Dean hoped because if not then maybe this Alpha had been hurt enough to suffer from selective mutism and that would for some reason break Dean’s heart — but while the Were didn’t talk he clearly understood what Dean was saying, except for some things, apparently.

"That’s right." Dean nodded to the Alpha’s silent question and the Alpha’s brow furrowed even more. "It can happen if you get a blow to your softer parts and it could kill you. Let me, please?" he held up his hand and let it hover over the Alpha, hand open, until the Alpha nodded slowly, still clearly uncertain of the necessity of this and it thrilled Dean to think the Alpha was letting him for Dean’s sake more than his own.

One of them made a soft sound the moment Dean’s hand made contact with the Alpha’s skin and Dean wasn’t even sure who did it. Might have been the Alpha because it hurt or it might have been Dean because holy shit, the Were was warm. And his abs were more toned than the dim light from the street light revealed. His stomach was flat and hard and he sat completely still as Dean prodded him, looking for abnormal bumps that signaled clotted blood on the inside and finding nothing. Granted, Dean wasn’t a goddamn doctor or anything but he thought that he should have been able to feel if something was wrong.

He let up a moment later and smiled to show that it was okay. "I think you’re in the clear." He said and watched amusedly how the Alpha poked at his own stomach as well, seemingly searching just as Dean had. "Hey, you, um… You got somewhere to go?"

When the Alpha looked at him this time he suddenly seemed exhausted and he leaned back against the wall behind him, shaking his head slowly.

"Oh." Dean gnawed his lower lip and was extremely aware of how the Alpha seemed to drink him in. "Well, you need to clean those wounds and maybe eat something, sleep it off, right?" he knew that Weres were much better at self-healing than humans and to his relief the Alpha seemed to agree with him because he nodded. "Okay, so…" God, this was such a bad idea. "Do you wanna come home with me?"

The Alpha frowned and Dean thought that he had seriously overstepped his line here. From a human perspective he had basically overstepped the line when he hadn’t called the cops on the Were the moment he figured out it was a Feral. From a Were standpoint he had thought he was in the clear but maybe this was too much?

He held up his hands, palms up, and sat back to give the Alpha space. "Nothing weird, okay? I just wanna help. I’m not gonna call the law on you and I’m not gonna take you to the pound." He sighed when he saw that the Alpha definitely knew what he meant by "the pound". The place where mismatched Weres without packs and owners ended up if they weren’t killed first. Dean also knew that Ferals in more rural areas were known to spring Weres free from pounds, even though that sometimes was a horrible idea. Captured Ferals wanted out, that was for sure, but Domesticated Weres didn’t have a fucking clue on how to take care of themselves and usually ended up dead.

Fuck, Dean hated his own race for how the Weres were treated and the truth was that if the humans didn’t so greatly outnumber the Weres then Dean knew that the Weres would have taken over a long time ago. And maybe that was the real reason for how humans treated Weres. Control for the sake of self-preservation. Dean didn’t know if he agreed with that tactic but he also knew that Ferals had killed humans before and it was really difficult to distinguish who was in the wrong in some situations.

Dean’s face softened when he saw how the Were was thinking his options over. "Let me help you, Alpha." He said in a soft tone and that made the Alpha look up to meet his eyes again. Fuck, the Were’s eyes were so strikingly blue that Dean couldn’t help but gulp.

Slowly, the Alpha nodded and sat up straighter.

"Yeah?" Dean asked, trying not to sound so pleased but couldn’t help grinning when the Alpha nodded again. He stood up and held out a hand to the Were.

The Alpha glared at his hand, though, and rose unsteadily on his own, using the wall for support. So he had pride, this young Alpha, Dean thought with amusement. That was unexpectedly hot and Dean had to quell his own thoughts when he for the first time got a good look at the Alpha’s whole body, all stretched out. The Alpha stood tall and proud, only maybe an inch shorter than Dean and fuck, he was all lean muscles, tanned skin and wild hair. The scratches and bruises did nothing to mar his appearance and yes, Dean’s eyes totally glued to the Alpha’s cock for a moment there, just drinking in the sight of it nestled against dark curls, the Were’s fat balls hanging tight against the Alpha’s body in the chill air.

And it was that last thought that made Dean snap to attention. He took off his leather jacket and held it out to the Were.

"Please." He said when the Alpha just looked at it. "It’s kinda cold and you’re hurt, please use my jacket, Alpha."

Asking seemed to be the right way to go about it, Dean decided when the Alpha accepted the jacket. It made it seem like everything was the Alpha’s decision and Dean knew that the Alpha’s were the pack leaders; the ones in control. Yes, if he wanted this Alpha to do anything Dean would either have to come up with a compelling argument or he would have to beg. Either way, Dean was fine with it as long as he could help this Alpha. For some reason Dean wanted nothing else right now than to nurse this Were back to health.

So yeah, Dean was totally doing this out of the kindness of his heart but that didn’t stop his breathing from hitching when he saw how the Alpha paused to sniff the collar of Dean’s jacket after he had put it one.

"Sweaty, I know." He tired joking while failing not to remember how the Alpha’s nose had pressed against his neck a couple of minutes back.

The Alpha looked up and tilted his head to the side but didn’t otherwise communicate back. Dean smiled and gestured for the Were to follow him, and follow he did but Dean could see that his every step hurt him. He wasn’t holding his side or anything though so Dean didn’t know what was wrong, at least not until they had almost reached his car.

"Wait." He crouched down in front of the Alpha and steadfastly ignored how this put his face in position with the Were’s cock. "Lift your foot." He looked up when the Alpha didn’t comply. "Please."

The Alpha was fucking breathtaking like this. All looming over Dean, his face shadowed from this angle but his eyes still gleaming in that otherworldly way all Weres’ eyes did. He had his head tilted to the side again and Dean was beginning to understand that that was the Alpha’s way of questioning what was happening. Still, he lifted his foot after a moment of them just staring at each other and Dean wasted no time, wanting to get out of sitting here before his own body betrayed just how much he had fantasized about kneeling before an Alpha.

He gently grabbed the Alpha’s foot and turned it as much as he could while bending down to look at its sole and sure enough, the Alpha’s foot was covered in even more cuts and Dean could see that some of them were bleeding, probably having opened as soon as the Were stepped on them. Fuck, it looked painful and dirty, deep cuts full of dirt.

"Someone really didn’t want you to flee." He muttered and allowed the Alpha to put his foot down. He stood before the Were, torn between wanting to carry him and preserving his own well-being because he was rather certain no Alpha would agree to be carried like some kind of weakling. "Who did this to you?"

The Alpha frowned and lifted a hand to point directly at Dean, his eyes dark under his angrily drawn brow. For a second there Dean got an icy feeling in the pit of his stomach and he wanted to scream me? I’ve never met you! but quickly enough realized what the Were was hinting at.

"Humans." He stated and the Alpha nodded slowly. Dean should have figured; Weres mostly fought with their hands and while they could grow fangs they didn’t have claws. Cuts like these were bound to be done by a knife and that hinted at human activity. "Fuck." Dean pressed out and carded a hand through his hair.

He didn’t know why but somehow it felt worse that it had been humans that had done this. If it had been between Weres then he could have told himself that it was only that natural rivalry between Ferals he had heard so much about. What had happened that this Alpha deserved something like this? Had he hurt someone? No, for some reason Dean didn’t think so. This Alpha was not in the wrong here but Dean wanted to find those who were. For a split second he had this wild idea that maybe the Alpha had had to kill them to escape. Should that upset Dean? That humans might have had to sacrifice their lives for a "mere" Were? He didn’t know but as he looked at the silent Alpha he had to fight the urge to hug him.

"Well, I’m not gonna hurt you, you get that, right?" he asked, more like pleaded, and watched how the Alpha drew himself up, regarding Dean, before nodding once. An almost ridiculous amount of relief washed over Dean and he couldn’t help but smile, which seemed to confuse the Alpha. "Good, then let’s get going." Dean said and started walking again, this time slower so the Alpha could take it easy on his poor feet.

In no time at all they stood before Dean’s black beauty of a car and he had unlocked the door to hold it open for the Alpha. The Were was just eyeing the car, though, clearly extremely indecisive about this cage on wheels.

"Have you ridden a car before?" Dean asked and the Alpha nodded slowly but seemed uncertain of it, as if he barely remembered it. His eyes never left the car. "Well you’re in for a treat." Dean stated simply, trying to sound cheery. "My baby’s better than any other. Please, Alpha, sit down."

The Alpha’s hands flexed into fists but he squared his jaw and resolutely climbed in and Dean couldn’t help but feel proud of the Were. He quickly closed the door and jogged around to the other side, sliding in before the Alpha had a chance to miss him. When he got inside the Alpha was busy touching everything he could reach and Dean saw how his nostrils flared as he took in every conceivable smell in there. Dean hoped it calmed the Were down as much as it did Dean every time he smelled his baby.

"Alright, sit back and relax." He said with a grin and the Alpha looked profoundly confused. Dean didn’t know how much the Were knew about cars except he kind of assumed he probably had seen them before and apparently ridden one, maybe.

Dean put the key in the ignition and when the engine rumbled to life the Alpha let out a startled sound that turned into a growl. Dean watched in fascination how the Alpha stared at the dashboard and growled threateningly at the car while she just rumbled right back.

He wondered for a wild moment if the Alpha was actually communicating with the car before he decided to interrupt the growling match before he did something stupid like pop a fucking boner at the sound alone. He knew that he was fucked in the head for thinking so but he couldn’t help it. Sitting in such a closed off space with a hurt and, now, frightened Feral Alpha should make Dean scared, not aroused.

But somehow, ever since the Alpha had let him touch him, Dean felt as if this Alpha wouldn’t hurt him. Which was of course really stupid and dangerous thinking. This Alpha owed Dean nothing and he had had none of the upbringing Domesticated Weres got. Humans weren’t benefactors to him, they hurt and hunted his kind, enslaving some and killed others. Just the fact that he had trusted Dean enough to get this far was actually awe-inspiring. Which was probably from where Dean’s arousal sprouted, coupled with his weird fetish.

"Hey, Alpha." He said and was unable to keep the mirth out of his voice. "It’s okay, she’s supposed to sound like that, she’s not challenging you."

The Alpha snorted like Dean clearly didn’t know what he was talking about but he relented in way of stopping his own growling. Dean smiled to himself as the Alpha kept eyeing the dashboard suspiciously but the best part was yet to come and Dean seriously had to pinch himself to keep from laughing at the indignant yelp the Alpha let out as soon as the car started moving. And just like that the Alpha was back to growling again, his hands and face pressed against the window as if he was trying to will the world outside to stop moving. Man, Dean couldn’t believe this was happening and he couldn’t believe how much he was enjoying it.

"So, Alpha." He said after a while, sure the Were would welcome a distraction. "Do you have a name? I mean…" he coughed self-consciously when the Alpha turned to him, suddenly again acutely aware that this was no fun little pet he had picked up. It was too easy to forget himself in this Alphas presence. "I mean, do you have a name you would let me use?"

Because why the fuck should the Alpha have to give Dean anything? Sure, Dean was willing to help the Were even if it meant he could get himself in trouble but how could the Were know that?

"Castiel." The Alpha surprised him by answering, his voice the low rasp of a voice seldom used and yes, it sent a tingling sensation down Dean’s spine just as well as that growl had. "Cas."

Dean concentrated on breathing. He looked over and smile kindly. "It’s nice to meet you, Cas. I’m Dean."

The Alpha looked pleased and returned that barely-there smile of his own. "Dean." He repeated and Dean nodded with a dry mouth. The Alpha nodded too and leaned back in the seat before turning back to glare at the world outside the window, quiet for the time being.

Fuck, Dean knew this was stupid and dangerous, taking in an injured Feral, but in this moment he felt nothing but happiness and pride. And apprehensive excitement.