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Five Times Kissed-- And God We're Awkward.

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The first time it wasn’t ACTUALLY a kiss. Derek would never let himself believe that. They were both in the car and had been on the road for hours. Stiles whining about needing to pee and damn it he didn’t have the ability to hold it for extended periods of time. Eventually the flailing and whining not to mention his constant shifting in the seat drove Derek crazy and he pulled off at a rest area which he was vehemently against in the first place so Stiles could run to the bathroom. Clearly there was something to the phrase ‘piss like a race horse’ but Derek kind of blamed it on the mad dash to the building that was shady as hell.

It was a good excuse to get out and stretch his legs. Something that Derek didn’t realize he was in desperate need of doing until the car was in park. Walking around Derek moved along the line of trees that just added to the ‘don’t stop here after dark’ feeling and he well, look Stiles can actually move pretty stealthy like when he TRIES. The hand on his shoulder caught Derek completely off guard and when he spun around face (and lips) crashing into Stiles’ Derek froze. No no that was most certainly not the first time they kissed. Grumbling he turned around and stalked back to the car without a word.

Second was a lot less teeth and face but almost as much of an accident. The two were camped out on Derek’s bed watching Netflix on Stiles’ laptop. They’d decided that this one town in Tennessee was fun. Derek liked watching Stiles TRY to fit in and fail. Plus, the food– both of them loved the damn food so they stuck around a couple days. Derek refused to sit on Stiles’ bed because he had this horrible habit of eating things and well, Derek did not want to lounge in crumbs. Stiles of course denied the crumbs but it didn’t matter. The two just bickered about it for something to talk about. Half way through some movie– Derek knew it wasn’t Star Wars. (those were downloaded onto the laptop and had already been watched.)The movie was some sci-fi thing though and Derek lost interest in briefly until he glanced over and watched Stiles repeating the movie line for line. It was kind of endearing okay? Not that he’d ever admit it. That was going to the grave along with him.

Derek spotted his bottle of water on the nightstand across the bed and instead of doing the smart thing and asking for Stiles to hand it to him Derek reached (and leaned) over Stiles to grab it. As he moved back into his own space he looked over at the other man and at the same time Stiles was looking down to protest the fact that Derek had heaved his body across him all for a stupid bottle of water. Stiles really wasn’t complaining though Derek could tell. But, before a word got out of his mouth as Derek started to sit back up the two were once again in the highly uncomfortable position of awkward face smash. (NOT A KISS)

The third time was a lot more obvious. Though Stiles and Derek both blamed it on sleep and a shitty small town that only had one vacant room with one king size bed. Screw him and his luck. The entire night Derek and Stiles had done a decent job of staying on their own sides of the bed. (much thanks to barrier of pillows that Stiles made because awkward boner bumping in the middle of the night between friends just wasn’t acceptable.) Derek wanted to just sleep on the floor after that comment because who the hell even thinks of these things? NOT him nope– at least he doesn’t think of them out loud.

Anyways– 3 am and Derek wakes up because well, he’s a horrible sleeper. HORRIBLE and when he comes back to bed Stiles is sprawled over the barrier and Derek just groans to himself because any awkward bumping at this point is entirely Stiles fault. Crawling back into bed Derek attempted to lay on his own side of the bed but, active sleeper Stilinski throws a leg over him and well, now the awkward would probably end up being Derek’s fault. No he’s not thinking about legs wrapped around him or the fact that Stiles is talking in his sleep and he’s very clearly having an interesting dream. Derek is just a little glad he can’t make out who he’s dreaming about.

Almost back to sleep. Derek was almost there when he’d rolled over because it was just a habit. He always sleeps on his left side and can’t actually sleep good unless that’s the side he’s lying on. His eyes were closed and Derek honestly didn’t realize how close his face was to Stiles until he felt breath on his face. ‘So screwed’ he thought to himself since you know he’d been trying like hell to keep his distance. Before he even had a chance to open his eyes or move there was a brush of life against his. Both their eyes flew open at the same time and they backed away from each other. The thud on Stiles side of the bed meant that he’d fallen off and Derek just huffed rolling his eyes. 

❝ Get back in bed Stiles. You were sleeping if you think I know you didn’t mean that you’re wrong. ❞

The fourth time Derek would be lying completely if he said that he didn’t enjoy it. He was actually figuring out pretty quickly that these ‘mistakes’ weren’t so bad. This one was a lot more innocent on both their parts. Derek was on one side of the car trying to get something out of the backseat and Stiles on the other. At the same time, they both dove for it. (no this time there was no bumping of heads) But, when they looked up at each other and were impossibly close Derek just figured screw it and closed the space between them. Maybe he shouldn’t have. There were a couple more months left before Stiles was going back to Beacon Hills and this was bound to make things awkward. In Derek’s defense Stiles’ didn’t pull away immediately but, he did pull away and didn’t say a word.

Nothing else happened for a long time. Honestly, aside from the almost innocent Valentine’s Day gestures Derek thought maybe all of this was stuff he’d just made up in his head.

The two made it to New York and Stiles and Derek quickly started doing different things. Stiles wanted to check the place out and while Derek didn’t let him out of his sight for too long he wanted to make sure he didn’t feel like he had a babysitter. It was a fine line and Derek was more than aware. He’d been Stiles’ age alone in New York before (with Laura) and it was exciting and scary and damn cool.

One night Stiles walked into the living room– (Derek had found an apartment a little too quickly and he wouldn’t say it but it was in the same building that he lived in with Laura. Stiles figured it out on his own. RESEARCH–) Anyways, he’d just gotten off the phone with his dad and was talking about the trip back to Beacon Hills. The two decided that instead of making Derek drive him back John would scrounge and figure out a plane ticket. That was news Stiles wanted to share. ❝ So, you don’t have to drive me back. ❞

Derek’s heart skipped a beat. Was it so dumb that he almost for a brief second hoped that maybe Stiles would stay? Yeah it was really. Reeling in his hope Derek cocked his brow, head tilting. ❝ Why’s that? ❞

After Stiles explained that he’d be getting a plane ticket which he wasn’t too sure about really Derek just nodded his head. He couldn’t help the sudden feeling of abandonment that he felt. It was stupid he knew from the beginning this was going to be the way it was. Damn– feelings. Derek feel quiet for a long time just staring at the page of the book he was reading.

❝ Dude what’s wrong? ❞

Derek hated that word. ❝ Nothing– and don’t… call me dude. ❞

Stiles started to snort and pointed at the book.  ❝ Yeah if nothing’s wrong how come you’ve been staring at the same page for ten minutes. I get you like the whole absorbing what you read but– osmosis is new even for you. ❞

Glaring Derek just closed the book. He wasn’t sure what to say. Instead he surged forward hands on either side of Stiles face. This wasn’t how this was supposed to be and Derek never even had the chance to come clean about his feelings. ‘Nice one Hale’ he thought as his eyes continued searching his face. The before he knew it the younger man would be gone—just gone.

Leaning in Derek’s lips pressed against the other. Nothing that was rushed or hard. Hell for once in his life he didn’t even think about teeth—MIRACLES. No Derek knew that no matter what he wasn’t going to be able to convince him to stay however, if he didn’t at least let Stiles know after all this time how he actually felt well, Derek would never forgive himself. Not that letting the other man walk out of his life was something he’d ever be able to forgive himself for either.