Aliens force John and Rodney not to have sex.
OK, so, this is me recording a podfic in a fandom for which I have never seen the canon. See, I went on a binge of reading SGA fics by some of my favorite classic due South authors who were also classic SGA authors, like you do. And then, when I was thinking about how I could get some new fandoms for badge reasons, I was amused by the idea of doing a podfic entirely without canon knowledge.
I did end up having to cheat a little, because when I had to read "ZPM" aloud, I realized that surely show that made a running joke of having both Canadian and American characters would have the Canadian say "zed" and the American say "zee," so I had to check the internet to confirm this hypothesis, and that led to clicking on some clips from the show...but I'd recorded most of the podfic before I sullied my virgin ears. Anyway, this amuses me probably more than it amuses anyone else