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A Secret

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She should have expect something like this to happen.

She should have.

It was no way to dodge the simple fact.

The simple fact of what had just happened.

The most dire secret that she just have to keep to herself even if it means being in pain. The pain of watching him.

She made it clear. She just had to, because there was no way in hell that there was any chance between them.

He flung himself in her life without much thought leaving a huge expression on her childhood self that imprinted throughout time.

Then he disappeared only to return 12 years later after promising to be back within five minutes. She wasn't mad. Not even upset, but she was shock when she met him again.

The Dream Lord was right about her feelings to her Raggedy Doctor. The feelings that she buried deep within her ever since the kiss that she shared with him just before her wedding night.

Wedding.

That was another thing that stood in her way. Rory.

She loved him.

He had been there for her since childhood believing her stories of the Doctor without judging her. He was always there for her, holding her hand when the Doctor wasn't all those years.

She thought she felt the same. She really did, but since The Doctor came into her life the second time. Her feelings was jumbled. She loved the sweet and understanding Rory, but also…her heart belonged to her Raggedy Doctor who always come to save the day, and her.

The Dream Lord implied simply, but it wasn't enough for Rory to be aware of her trouble feelings and well the Doctor was just too naïve to think otherwise, but Amy knew. Just knew that deep down that this Dream Lord was a part of her Doctor. That he knew on some level but to choose to look away.

She choose Rory and for a mere second she thought she saw a flash of hurt flew across the Doctor's green jaded eyes before being replaced by an unease smile before flinging a few levers on the Tardis moving her back into the Vortex.

This was her secret.

A secret that she was willing to take to her own grave.

A secret that could hurt so many people including her faithful husband, Rory.

Amy Pond and The Doctor.

The only thing they can ever be together was just that. Best friends, and partners in crime.

"Come along, Ponds." He called out, snapping her attention back into reality.

The Doctor threw opened the Tardis doors onto their next adventure. Rory, wrapped his arms around her shoulders with a huge smile on his face. Excited to see what's out there now, but Amy just only grimace.

She tried to ignore the way, he called her name. Reminding herself that he also called Rory the same way now too.

The kiss between them was nothing more than a memory, but she can still feel the warmth of his lips pressed against hers all those weeks ago. She has a crush on her Raggedy Doctor and somewhere deep within her own heart, she felt guilt beginning to rise and knew just knew that this feeling will not leave easily.

He came into her life with a crash of his big blue box.

The night that sealed her feelings for him when he arrived.