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Wade in Over His Head

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The dim bar lights swayed slightly with each pounding of the floor by some gargantuan body. The fights were nearly constant now since the night had gone on and Wade was about ready to call it a night. Weasel polished glasses with a dingy rag that used to be white and Wade said his goodbyes, pulling on his mask before heading toward the back door. Tonight’s hit had been quite the accomplishment, in Wade’s humble opinion. This was a man twice his size at least, with two buddies who had recently escaped from some kind of circus from the looks of them. Wade had stalked them for days, trying to catch the target on his own and eventually deciding that he was wasting time that could be spent with the money he would earn. He decided to get his shit together, put on his big girl panties, and do it.

And do it he had. Something about that largest motherfucker just screamed ‘disembowel me,’ so Wade did. He opted for a bullet between the eyes for the other two. But the other one, a man who went by Rhino, he took his time. Let him tire himself out by smashing up the hotel room. This had earned wade three broken ribs, but nothing he couldn’t heal. One the rhino-fucker was heaving and panting, Wade ran him through with one Katana and set to carving it back out with the other. Good times.

Wade neared the back exit, jumping up over an unconscious man who had to have a fractured skull at least. Just as he made it to the door someone threw it open from the other side. Wade jumped back, dodging the door with ease and raising his dominant arm up to the hilt of his sword. If there was going to be a fight tonight he wanted first choice. Instead he was met with the glowing brown eyes of a man who couldn’t be more than 25. He wasn’t short, but his small, lean frame lent a feeling of fragility to him. It didn’t help that the rest of him was borderline angelic. His large, dark eyes were rimmed in thick lashes and slight circles from lack of sleep. His long hair was a soft blonde color that had to have come from a bottle, and wavy-curly in the messiest way. He was so perfect. Wade wanted to fuck him against a wall while the whole bar watched.

“Deadpool?” he asked, brown doe eyes locking on Wade’s. For a moment he felt as if his mask were gone and this boy was staring right through him.

“That’s me.” He said quickly, sucking air into his chest. He felt as if the Rhino were sitting on his ribs. “I didn’t order a twink.” He announced. “You guys! My birthday isn’t for another month! You shouldn’t have.”

“I owe you money.” The smaller man said. “My name is-“

“Whoa!” Wade interrupted. “You may not want to announce your name in a place like this. That is, not without reciting your social security number as well. These are hardworking criminals, but not exactly masterminds, so throw them a bone.” The man looked around the bar for a moment, nodding his head sharply before turning his eyes back to Wade.

“Fine. Can we go somewhere private?” He asked. Before Wade could answer (we’re talking nanoseconds, here) a man stood up from the bar and approached them.

“I know you!” He said, jabbing his huge finger into the stranger’s chest. “I used to see you out of the corner of 83rd! Ooh, you were a pretty thing.” He loomed over them both, elbowing Wade with his last comment. “Feisty, though. Sure put up a fight when I tried to take you home.”

“You were drunk, and broke, and you still smell like a homeless shelter for dogs.” The stranger shot back.

“You ain't gonna use that pretty little mouth to say such nasty things, boy. I’ll find a better use for it.” The hulk of a man retorted.

“Whoa!” Wade cut in. “Boys, boys... First I would like to address the room by saying, kudos to you for not judging an openly gay criminal like this, which really shows growth as a society. Secondly, Goliath, this pretty little mouth owes me money, so you’re not sticking anything into it before I get a check. Especially not something that could likely kill a man.” He held his hands up about two feet apart. “Get it?”

“He can’t afford it anyway.” The stranger said, sneering in Goliath’s direction. That set him over the edge. One enormous hand swept across the space between them, past Wade’s chest, and wrapped itself around the stranger before he could retreat. Wade shot himself up into the air and came down on the man’s arm, trying his best to pry the fingers off before they crushed the stranger.

“Time out!” Wade screamed. “Huddle up! Yellow card!” but no matter how hard he pulled he couldn’t free the man. This stranger didn’t need much help for the moment, however. He reached his free hand into a back pocket and pulled out a pocket knife, flicking it open with one hand. He then sank the three inch blade into the wrist of his attacker with no hesitation. The man howled as blood sprayed up like a fountain and Wade was thrown from his arm. Wade took those three seconds to grab the man’s other arm and snatch open the back door.

“Deadpool!” The stranger said. “You get me home safely and I’ll double what I owe you.”

“You got it, baby boy.”