Chapter 1: Chapter 1
It started with the gases. During the Great War, the chemical compounds of the mixing gases warped to create a noxious cloud that hung over the battle fields. Bacteria were enhanced by the smoke, digging deeper into wounds and rashes, even eyes and mouths as it grew stronger. Half of Europe was wiped out before the doctors could even classify what had happened. The plague clung to the uniforms of the men rushing home, and flew with them into America. The soldiers kissed the plague into their patient wives laughing mouths, and hugged it into the skin of their children.
For three years the disease spread, until it was finally stopped. It took ancient ground burning, and masks and suits to contain the contaminated. (They didn’t need to be contained for long; the gasping death took away the need for long term care.) But it was too late. The population was dropping, and people were too devastated by the loss to consider having children. Too scared to watch them die, family slept in opposite rooms; lovers looked the other way when passing by. They had seen too many of their loved ones with skin peeling away, and black pus falling from their eyes. They were haunted.
But Senator Anderson had a solution, an arrangement that would require men and women to produce children. They would be paired up according to genetics and there would be children, or the law would interfere.
The church wouldn’t have it. Just base production? What about the sanctity of marriage and the benefits for children in a complete home? And in this time of need, all should fear the hand of God; all should do their best to follow the righteous ways to save their souls. The Senator relented.
Marriage would be the key.
The law passed. All persons over the age of 18 shall be paired with another person genetically and psychologically compatible to build a family and save the dying nation. People accepted this, and the first waves of strangers were wed.
Years went by. The first group of children were born and raised. New promises were made. The system would find you someone to love. The system would take care of everything. The children grew up, some believing, and some wishing for more. They clung to the old tales, of Shakespeare and of the poets of old. But they stayed silent.
The 50’s came. The United States made first contact with the disease-ravaged Europe for the first time in over 30 years. They had survived. There was hope.
The first groups of children were paired up, and began to have children of their own. The system was strong, but there were a few missing links. The system was supposed to provide a good partner for everyone, but some complained. The homosexuals wanted a real relationship, not a farce with someone they would never be attracted to. If the system was strong and the system was perfect, who couldn’t it provide companionship for everyone? It was during the population boom of the 90’s that the law finally changed, for the first time in over 60 years.
Men could marry men, so long as they registered for it and accepted their partner. There couldn’t be any special provisions for gays, or the straight couples would want to break out of the system as well. Panic would soon follow. So homosexuals could marry, as long as they were as powerless about their partner as all the other couples. Weekly sperm and monthly egg donations were required as well, to provide for the system. It was the best they could ask for.
The system had been computerized by this point, with matches made every hour of every day. Everyone checked their profile online to see who they had been matched with. Many were paired as soon as they reached the age of 16. They were the lucky ones, the ones who could find each other and get to know their spouse for two years until they were married. Others waited for ages to see who they would marry, and bemoaned their unmatched status daily.
Kurt Hummel did not bemoan his unmatched status. He rejoiced in it. He was happy to be confirmed as the only gay in Ohio, no matter how many times he was dropped into dumpsters or slushied for not really supporting the system. It meant that he would be paired with an over-flow from New York or California.
Either was preferable to Ohio. Anywhere was preferable to Ohio.
Kurt checked daily, smiling to himself at the violent red UNMATCHED that sat by his name. He would have a good marriage and finally get to escape. His husband would be an upcoming artist from California or a fashion expert from New York. Kurt would offer to change states, instead of forcing his husband to move here (it was nice thing to do, really). And he would never look back. Everything was going to be perfect. Kurt had everything he wanted.
Until his status changed.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Sebastian sighed at the door closed behind his latest toy. Once again, he was left unsatisfied. There was no one willing at actually fuck. They were filled with hushed whispers about laws and examinations. Didn’t they understand the point of the system? They were supposed to fuck, and no one in the marriage office was ever going to lift a finger to stop them from doing. Sebastian should have gotten an award even for how hard he worked to improve the lives of people, to encourage them to look forward to marriage so they could have all the sex they wanted. Granted, it would never be as good as what Sebastian was willing to offer, but it was better than nothing.
But that was what Sebastian had, nothing. He rolled over, palming his still damp dick. Another blow job. Oh, they all would fall to their knees for him, boys by the dozen, but what he really wanted was a good fuck. Someone he could screw into the mattress and someone strong enough to fuck him just as well.
Sebastian was realizing that he would have to wait until marriage and take his chances. Not that he even wanted to get married. If he could just fuck around whenever he wanted, the romantics could keep whatever fantasies they needed about relationships. Hell, he’d even donate sperm once a week like he was supposed to, if he could have just a little freedom.
The teenager had been kicked out of Paris for suggesting the idea, even as a joke. The city had been hit the hardest, and once they had adopted America’s marriage policy in its entirety, they were rigorous about it. One word against the system that was saving the French and the Paris city officials struck. Sebastian received a strong recommendation that he leave immediately or ‘consequences’ would follow. His father had sent him to Dalton, hoping that the rigid rules would keep his son from voicing his thoughts. But stolen blow jobs from closeting prep boys weren’t enough anymore.
Sebastian wanted a real fuck. He wanted a real man to take him down and hold him there. But these fearful teens were strong enough. And the time for wishing was slipping away. He was only a month away from his wedding when he was shipped out to Ohio, the center of the marriage system, where everyone was a believer and no one wanted to shirk their duty by registering gay.
Sitting up, the young man tugged his computer closer and logged onto the registration site. He didn’t want to be mistaken for one of those boys who checked their page on the hour, and stalked their fiancé when they were matched. But he still had to know. It was getting too close, and he needed to know which out of state partner he’d be saddled with for the rest of his life. At least if he’d been forced to marry in Paris, he would have gotten a competent lover. Here, the education network for homosexuals was a joke. A mandatory lesson about the mechanics of sex was given at 17 and an optional pleasure lesson was offered a week before their 18th birthday. To this day, Sebastian knew that no one had signed up for the pleasure lessons.
Scrolling through the celebratory announcements (and who would celebrate being forced into a sham of a relationship?) Sebastian reached his profile tag.
Scowling, he clicked on the name. Kurt Hummel. A picture of a fresh-faced kid greeted him, dark hair neatly combed to the side and pale skin practically glowing from the screen. A kid! He looked 12 not 18! Sebastian tried to calm down. They took pictures for it at 16, so maybe the boy (child really) had changed since then. He could only hope.
Interests: Broadway, fashion, New York and music
He groaned again. This was just getting worse by the second. He’d have better luck being paired with a woman if he wanted someone strong enough to match him in bed. Kurt Hummel just sounded so…
Snapping shut the laptop, the teen glared violently at the wall. He was so screwed.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
“Kurt, boo, what’s wrong?” Mercedes slid into the chair next to her friend, her gold ring glittering on the hand holding her tray of food. She’d been married only one month before, shocking everyone by being matched with Sam Evans. Everyone had their own expectations, but the singer just smiled to herself and accepted it. Sam was ecstatic.
“I got matched.” Kurt traced figure eights into his notebook, pen wearing deeper into the paper. He didn’t want to be here; the lunch table was nothing but a blur of wedding speculations, and while he’d been happy to participate before, it was a little too real to deal with for the moment. But if he left the sanctuary of being with his friends, he’d be at the mercy of the bullies, which was something else he really didn’t need today.
“Congratulations? I thought you were excited to get married.”
“Yeah, I was, when I thought that I would get married in New York or Los Angeles. But he’s right here in Ohio.”
“Who’s right here?” Rachel sat down next to Kurt, flouncing her hair back inelegantly. Kurt had been working with her for ages on her natural grace and style, but some days she just missed the mark. This was one of those days.
“My husband. He’s in Ohio,” Kurt said.
Rachel gasped. “But I thought we were leaving together! Finn told me yesterday that he was happy to move with me and it was going to be perfect! This can’t happen to me!”
Mercedes rolled her eyes. “Yes, dear. I can see how troubling it can be for you. Now can you please shut up about yourself for two seconds and help our boy here out?”
“Who says I’m not going to help him out I am merely lamenting the loss of our conjoined future. I mourn for Kurt.”
Kurt turned to glare at her, enjoying how she shrank at only his second best bitch glare. “I am trying to stay positive here. Try not to use words like ‘mourn.’”
Mercedes chuckled. “Yeah, you never know. Another gay kid in Ohio, maybe he’s as desperate to leave as you are.”
Rachel jumped and clapped her hands together. “Have you examined his profile? Maybe there’s a clue!”
“I doubt it-“ Kurt started to say, but he was cut off by Rachel’s shushing noises.
“Say no more. We have to check. Why didn’t you do this the second you were matched?”
“I was a little distraught. I was hardly going to coo over his picture like a love struck girl.” But Kurt still leaned over to where Rachel was pulling out her laptop and logging into the site. He typed his password for her, and moved back a little so that Mercedes could see. “There, Sebastian Smyth.”
“If he’s been in Ohio, then why did it take so long to match you?” Mercedes asked, while they waited
“Probably to see if one of us would change our minds and go back to the productive straight life,” Kurt muttered as he slumped down, posture be damned.
“Don’t knock it until you try it boy.”
“Nope.” Rachel called out. “He actually moved here.”
Mercedes frowned. “What gay teen in his right mind moves to Ohio?”
Rachel was silent for a moment before she spoke. “Ones that lived in Paris.”
“Paris?!” Kurt sat up straight, his voice tinged with horror. This was worse than he imagined. Being raised in Ohio, the capital of the marriage system was bad enough. But Paris was the strongest hold for the system. The French were the first country to adopt the system, and did so violently. Couples were monitored for three months after marriage, and conception was demanded within that time. If not, the couple was separated to “try again” with a new partner. It was a nightmare, and worse, the people of Paris were brainwashed into thinking that it was right.
It made Kurt sick to his stomach, and now he had to marry one of those drones. “No wonder he came to Ohio. A place just as conservative, but with someone waiting to marry him.”
“It can’t be all bad,” Mercedes said, as she rubbed his back soothingly. “He did still choose to stay gay. He could have switched back at any time.”
Rachel snapped her computer shut. “Well, there isn’t much on his profile, so you’ll have to do it the hard way. I sent him a message with your number; she should call.”
“Oh my- Rachel what did you say?!” Kurt snapped his head back up, eye wide with shock.
“Nothing wrong! Just a simple request to meet him,” she replied with a pout.
“Tell me exactly what you wrote Rachel Berry. God knows how you said something even as simple as that.” Mercedes gripped the other girl’s arm like a vice, forcing her to turn towards the group.
Rachel huffed. “I said, ‘Hello I’m Kurt and I think we should meet. My number is blah blah blah. Hope to see you soon. Kurt.’” Rachel tugged her arm back. “Are you happy now? It wasn’t that bad!”
Kurt shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it could have been much worse. Just ask before you masquerade as me for my future husband.” He jumped as his phone buzzed in his pocket. “Oh my god.”
“It’s him! It’s him!” Rachel squealed as he pulled it out.
Kurt stared at the screen for a second. “Yeah, it’s him.”
“Well, what does it say?” Mercedes leaned over him to look. “Oh.”
“What?” Rachel asked.
“It says that he’ll see me at the wedding.” Kurt whispered. “He doesn’t want to meet me at all.”
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
One week before the wedding, Kurt’s father sat down with him at the kitchen table. The house was oddly quiet, with Finn and his mother out shopping for a suit for the teen to wear to his brother’s wedding. It was a silly excuse for privacy, because Kurt knew exactly what was happening.
“No.” Kurt spoke before his father could say anything. “I don’t want it. I’m allowed to say no.”
“I think you’re making a mistake, no matter how awkward you think it might be.” But his father’s voice had the smallest tremor or relief in it.
Kurt shook his head. “I can’t escape Ohio. I’m marrying a man from Paris and he doesn’t even want to meet me. I have lost control over everything in my life. I want to make this choice at least.”
Burt shifted forward, hands coming together in front of him. “Kurt, I’m going to be honest with you and you’re not going to like it. And don’t interrupt me. I need to say this.” He took a breath. “You never had control over your life. You were gambling on the system. We all gamble on the system. Some of us win. I did. I count myself to be damn lucky I got your mother, and damn lucky a second time that they let me have Carol. But I didn’t beat the system. You don’t ever beat it. You get lucky. So you may not have a choice in this right now, but face it, kid. You never did have a choice in it. What you do have a choice in is how you handle your marriage. As long as you follow the rules, the rest is up to you. Sebastian may be a great guy. He may be the spawn of Satan. Either way, he is your husband, and you have to make this work. If you don’t, you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life.” Burt sat back in his chair, hand coming up to rub at his face, as he took in his son’s pale, heart-broken face. “And it would kill me to see you like that.”
Silence fell, and moments passed.
Kurt spoke with a quiet voice. “I will make this work. No matter what it takes, I’ll do it.”
“There’s the Hummel in you.” His father grinned, and then he reached his hand around behind him for the folder on the counter.
“Stop!” Kurt covered his face, panicked. “I said I would make this work; I never agreed for you to give me the second sex talk!”
“But you just said-“
“No!” Kurt stood to leave, as his face burned with embarrassment. “Optional, remember? This is not happening!”
His father grinned, and gave a deep sigh of relief.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
The night before his wedding, Sebastian packed up his room. He carefully folded his Dalton tie and blazer, and placed it in the box they had come in. He barely had two months here, but he grew fond of the school in that time. It was an old castle of a building, with the long forgotten class and charm of the world before the plague. Students were taught poetry and literature, told about a time when people married for love and hell even property, instead of marrying for the sake of breeding. The teenager knew that the school was only allows to teach such rebellious coursework because of deep government connections from the alumni, but he was still proud to be a student here. Being a student at Dalton meant that he could pretend for a little while longer that the world wasn’t totally fucked up. If you could just ignore students disappearing after their 18th birthday, it was as if the system never existed. Sebastian was free here.
And now it was over.
The law required that newlywed attend the same school. ‘To foster a community for the young family’ the Senator had said. Except that the cost of the school always comes into play. And Dalton was too expensive for the government to send two people to. So Sebastian was off to public school to join his blushing bride.
Sebastian nearly broke the zipper of his suitcase with how hard he pulled it. He would not cry. He was not a child. He could deal with the real world. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? This was the real world, finally coming to bite him in the ass. He’d spent so long pretending that the system was one big joke, something that he could ignore, but here he was, trapped by it. He could practically feel the bands of the ring he would soon be wearing clamping around him. It was a nightmare, and all Sebastian wanted to do was scream at the world until his voice was gone, and someone out there finally knew what sick injustice this all was. This wasn’t human; it was nothing but base animal actions, backed up by the smiling faces over a politician’s handshake. It was cruelty.
When he was finally done, and his bags were waiting by the door to be taken to his new apartment in the morning, Sebastian allowed himself to curl into a ball under the covers. Clutching the blankets around him, the young man shuffled to the wall and closed his eyes. He was alone here; no one would see him break down. He took a deep breath, and he could smell the old wood and varnish. These walls had protected its students for over a hundred years; it was a sanctuary, and for one more night at least, it was his home.
Sebastian sucked the smell deep into the bones, and fell into an uneasy sleep, fraught with dreams of a pale man trapped in a golden birdcage.
When he awoke, it was his wedding day.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Kurt wore Westwood for his wedding. He decided the week before that we would put his best foot forward, and his best foot was clad in patent leather. He sat in front of his mirror, feeling as though his reflection was lonely without the pictures lining the edge to join it. He was perfectly dressed, with coifed hair, and a simple cut tuxedo. Kurt raised his head one last time, taking in the sharp crease of his collar. He was dressed perfectly; his only flaw was his skin, sallow and tight from the lack of sleep the night before. But it had given him plenty of time to get ready in the morning. And now here he was, waiting for his father to call him to go out to the car.
He was going to make this work. As far as he knew Sebastian was just as nervous as he was, and they would be on the same level. Giving his hair one last spray of hold, Kurt walked out of his bedroom for the last time.
The ride to the marriage center was quiet, just Kurt and his father. Carol had gone one ahead with Finn and Rachel, at Burt’s insistence. He wanted this final ride with his son.
“So you didn’t forget to pack anything, did you?”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Please Dad. I’ve been packing for weeks. It would take a miracle for me to have forgotten anything.”
“Yeah, you’ve been packing and unpacking to get dressed every day, and repacking all over again.” Burt chuckled. “I think you actually drove Finn crazy there for a while.”
Kurt laughed, soft and short. He could put on the front of playfulness, but he just couldn’t muster a full laugh.
Sobering, Burt continued. “But you know, those places they give you are tiny. You have to understand that. What are you going to do if your stuff doesn’t fit?”
“Then I will rent a storage unit and organize my clothes by season. The government will simply have to foot the bill, because they have not given enough thought to spacing for newlyweds.”
Burt nodded. “Well, as long as you’re prepared. It might be hard living in such a small space.”
There was that word. Prepared. Kurt didn’t want to think about it. Because he could pack, and he could plan, and hell he could plan outfits for the next month in advance, but this was not something he could prepare for.
“Dad, stop it.”
“Why don’t you want to talk about it? Sorry to break it to you, but I’m driving you to your wedding, kid. Hell, we’ll arrive in just a few minutes and I feel like you’re just pretending that it’s just another trip to New York.”
“I know.” Kurt was quiet for the rest of the trip.
Burt pulled into the parking lot of the center and killed the engine. He stared at the building in front of him. After a moment, he spoke. “You know your mother always thought this was the most beautiful building in town.”
Kurt looked up. He could see it too. The building was made from smooth white marble in a classic Greek design, but with a subtle modernity built into the clean lines and great glass windows. The lawn around it was a lush carpet of grass, with towering trees lining the pathway up. Bushes of roses and lilacs surrounded the building. Only a violent splash of red marred the perfection, on one side of the building. It was beautiful, but Kurt still hated it.
“She thought it was beautiful, but the most tragic place in town.” Burt shrugged and opened the door. “I guess I understand now.”
Kurt followed him up the walkway to the entrance on the side, for singles to enter. As he drew closer, the splash of red paint slowly formed into words:
HERE ALL BIRDS LOSE THEIR VOICES AND TRULY BECOME ANIMALS. –W
A group of men were furiously scrubbing it away.
Kurt knew better than to say anything. No one spoke of the rebels. Mentioning them would earn you an interrogation at least, and at most prison. Kurt simply raised his eyebrows at his father and stepped in. His father gave no response.
Inside, the center was as bright as the exterior suggested. If Kurt hadn’t been dreading being here so much, he might have enjoyed the great open space, with light pouring into the modern space. He jerked his head to the side, and carefully touched his hair to ensure it wasn’t out of place. He would not entirely dread this. He was going to work with his husband, and he was going to be happy no matter what.
No matter what.
He was led by a city official to the back room, where the final registration would take place. It was where Sebastian was waiting, as well as the rest of his life. Kurt gave one last look at his father before he stepped into through the door.
Inside, a young man was waiting, leaning against the wall. Kurt was surprised to see that he was taller than himself. Sebastian seemed to be made of nothing but sharp angles, from the way that his elbows stuck out like wings, and how his hips turned sharply into long lean legs. His chin was cut well, but his face was the only part of him that lacked the knifelike qualities. It held a softness that reminded Kurt of a child trapped in a man’s body. Kurt had to give credit where it was due, because his suit was a perfect fit. His hair was straddling the line between generic and outstanding, which annoyed him greatly. It just might be the first thing about Sebastian that he would try to help him with.
Kurt cleared his throat to get his attention.
Sebastian looked up, and all trace of childlike innocence was lost.
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Well, there he was, the innocent little sapling who Sebastian was going to spend the rest of his life with. Except that he didn’t look exactly like his picture. Sebastian could still see hints of that boy in the young man standing in front of him, with his smooth skin and brown hair. Only now it was swept up, adding to his height and to his slim elegant frame. But he was still skinny, and Sebastian knew that he could break this boy in two if he really tried. Still, Kurt Hummel had the most striking eyes he has ever seen. They caught his gaze with a searing curiosity, and Sebastian wanted to hide. He wanted to cover those eyes so that this never felt real, and so that he never felt the need to live up to the expectation that dwelled with them. For a moment, his mind was filled with the thought of blindfolding Kurt, shielding him from that gaze that demanded so much of him.
Sebastian mentally shook himself of the thought and allowed his face to sink into a cold smirk.
“Well, here I thought I was coming to the only gay wedding in Ohio. Now I know they tricked me and sent a woman instead. Shocking.” Sebastian felt a cruel pang of happiness as he watched something change in those eyes, shifting from bright curiosity to anger. Good, he should hate him. Then they wouldn’t have to pretend to be a couple.
His voice was high and clear, but cutting in its intensity.
“Is that your voice? Wow, you really take gender roles to the extreme here.”
Kurt recovered quickly, and settled into his best bitch mode. Screw making this work. “Well, you’d know all about gender roles in Paris. Tell me, did you genuflect when you entered the building, or was kissing a picture of the Senator enough for you?”
“At least I didn’t think that bathing in women’s perfume was a good idea this morning. Is that your strategy to lure a man to your bed?”
“Why would I want to lead an idiot like you to my bed? It’s called a barber, not a butcher.”
“Oh goodie, we’ve reached hair! Please don’t get too close to any open flames or else I’d have to laugh as you catch on fire.”
“No worries there. The only open flame here is me, since all you people ever do is worship the system. So why don’t you just head on out of here and switch back to the good side and leave me the hell alone?” Kurt knew that he shouldn’t be saying these things right in the heart of the center, but he just couldn’t help himself.
“And miss the pleasure of pissing you off? Sorry, but I do need some joy in my life.”
A booming voice broke through their insults. “And that’s what has brought us here gentlemen: Joy!” At the door, a man stood, wearing a grey pin striped suit. His hair was salt and pepper grey, but his eyes were cold and dark.
Kurt jumped and paled, swallowing thickly around his words. “Senator Anderson. I didn’t know you were coming. I thought you wouldn’t have had the time.” His voice was suddenly timid. What the hell had he been saying? Insulting the system here? He might as well have walked into prison himself. Sebastian was silent behind him, but obviously tense. At least the boy was smart enough to be scared of the Senator.
“Well, I usually am too busy, but for this momentous occasion, I had to make an appearance.” He stepped forward, clapping a heavy hand on Kurt’s shoulder; he struggled not to buckle under the painful force of it. “Ohio’s only gay man marrying the only gay man from Paris. It’s the perfect way to link these two great states, and a true step in the way of progress.” He grinned, cold and strange. “I’ll be keeping a close eye on you boys. I love to see how successful the system is; you’ll be very happy together.” He smiled for a second longer, until the moment broke. “Well, I’ll allow you to get your registration taken care of. I’m just dying to meet your family Kurt. I think I’ll be good friends with them.” The Senator left, and Kurt and Sebastian were alone once more.
Kurt took a deep breath, and then another, and another. He needed to calm down. He needed to relax.
How the fuck was he supposed to relax? Senator Anderson had said that he would be watching him. He was going to meet his family. He was going to expect him to be happy with everything that the system did. He was so fucking screwed. They were going to fail; fuck, they were going to die. His father said something against the system this morning, oh god what if they heard—“
“Hey.” Sebastian’s voice cut through. “Can you quit with the panic attack? Your hyperventilating is taking up all the air in the room.”
Kurt narrowed his eyes, as anger washed over him. He turned and stalked over to his future husband. “Listen. I was holding back before. Now I’m done.” He took a deep breath.
“Did you even think before you got dressed this morning? You look like a stick figure, and frankly I can’t decide if I want to play hangman with you or throw you out to the dogs to play with. Maybe both. I haven’t seen pores that big since I got Rachel Berry to start moisturizing. It’s called face wash. Use it. And another thing. Have you seen your eyebrows? You need to stop tweezing them because even I can hear them begging for mercy. Fix your tie, because this isn’t the 80’s. And your hair, oh good god. Have you ever considered the thought that spraying it up to a wall over your head might have been a bad idea? I feel like if I played the trumpet is would all come tumbling down. And your shoes—“
Kurt was cut off by a sharp burst of laughter. Laughter! Sebastian was laughing at him now! “Excuse me, but what the hell is so funny?”
Sebastian continued to laugh, curled over dangerously close to Kurt. He hadn’t even realized how close he had moved, but now he could smell the teen’s cologne. It was musky and tangy with a deeper spice below it.
“Sorry, you just remind me of a baby lion, all puffed up and pretending to roar.” Sebastian reached out a hand to pat Kurt on the head. Kurt slapped it away.
“Don’t touch my hair.”
Sebastian smirked again, laughter still playing in the creases of his smile. God, the idea of messing this boy up was getting more appealing by the second. He leaned in a little closer to whisper in his ear. “Tonight, when I’m taking you apart, when I’m fucking you, I’m going to do my best to wreck your hair as much as possible. You can count on that.”
Blush looked good on Kurt, Sebastian noted. It looked a hell of a lot better than blind panic did, and he was glad to see that the young man had moved past that.
Their moment was interrupted by the door opening once more, revealing a cheerful city official. “Well boys, let’s get you registered to we can start your happy marriage!”
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Kurt was surprised to see how many people came to the wedding. He knew his family and friends would be there, but the presence of the Senator guaranteed that news reporters would flock to the center. Gawkers lined the walls, with their cell phones out, as they tried to get a picture of the unique couple. Near the back, Kurt could see a few dozen angry viewers. They each wore the double-ring pendant, a sign of the true followers of the system. Kurt smiled sadly as he noticed several of his classmates mixed in with them. School was going to be so much more fun.
Sebastian followed him as they were led to the platform, where the judge was waiting. Kurt glanced back at him to see where he was looking. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the other boy’s family, but Sebastian wasn’t looking at the crowd. He was gazing up at the stained glass ceiling, muted blue and grey flowers with silver rings. It hit Kurt that Sebastian had no family. They must still be in Paris.
Pausing half a step, Kurt allowed himself to fall back in line with his future husband. He asked quietly, “Didn’t your family get permission to come see you married?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “It’s so cute how you think everyone’s as clingy as you are.” Kurt poked him in the ribs, swift and unseen. “Bitch. I told them not to come. Like I need to add to this farce. Just being here is enough.”
“Could you do me a small favor and stop saying things like that here? I know you have some sort of mental disease that keeps you from seeing logic, but just try for a little while.”
Sebastian’s response was quiet and lacking the usual sharpness. “Fine.” Kurt glanced up, to see the softness he’d seen before stealing across his face. So it hadn’t been an illusion.
Sebastian didn’t want to think about the threats against Kurt’s family. He’d heard them for sure, but thinking about them was much harder. They looked like nice people, each one of them dressed well for this, as if it were something to celebrate. They took up the front two rows and kept smiling and giving thumbs up to Kurt. They looked kind and supportive and Sebastian knew just how quickly people like that could be broken down to tears. He’d done it himself plenty of times, just for fun. So he agreed, if only to keep them smiling. Someone had to.
The judge stepped forward and asked the boys if they had their vows.
They had been given freshly laminated cards with the words they were supposed to say, along with their marriage IDs. The IDs were the most important part. Without it, they couldn’t do anything. They were required to show it to go to school from now on, and it would be used as a driver’s license. It was also the key to their apartment. The cards held all of their government financing, as well as their permanent records. Without it, they would have nothing. They would be fugitives and subject to prison, or death.
Sebastian played with the card in his pocket, but he really wanted to scratch his forearm, where a small bandage rested. It was the part of registration that had surprised the both of them, and for good reason. Couples were required to sign a contract of confidentiality, agreeing to never speak of it. When the official brought out the syringe, Kurt had jerked back into Sebastian so violently that he almost brought the two of them down. Sebastian had wrapped his arms around Kurt instinctively to keep them from falling, and asked, “What the hell is that?”
“It’s a hormone monitor. Under Provision Three of the Marriage Act, all marriages must be consummated within 24 hours of the wedding. Since we cannot do the formal examination tomorrow as we would with a woman, this will have to suffice. They will allow us to examine your hormones. They will be removed tomorrow and checked for proof of intercourse.”
Kurt shook his head. “No. No. No no no no no no no no—“
“Shut up, Kurt. I don’t think you can just wish this away.” Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s arm from where he was trying to hide it in Sebastian’s jacket and rolled back the sleeve roughly.
“Hey! Be careful with that!” But Kurt didn’t move from the boy’s arms, only sinking into him further when she came closer with the needle. He whimpered into Sebastian’s neck when it pierced his skin. The needle-thin device slid just below his skin, hidden from view.
“Baby.” Sebastian muttered to him.
“There, all done Mr. Hummel.”
The official loaded another as he rolled Kurt’s sleeve back down his arm, smoothing the fabric with a patronizing coo. She huffed impatiently as Sebastian took his time rolling back his own sleeve, before jabbing him harshly with it. “Ow. Don’t be such a bitch about it.” The woman smiled blithely at him before moving away to get him a bandage for the blood that welled up from it.
Kurt slid away from his arms, cringing at the blood. “Don’t get it on your suit. I’d hate for them to think I tried to kill you before the ceremony.”
“How do you know they won’t think you just got your period?”
Kurt had glared at him, but at the moment the device had been forgotten.
Now, as he stood before the stand, Sebastian could still feel the light pulse of pain. It was annoying, but what was more annoying was the strange sort of longing he felt. He could still feel Kurt in his arms, as if he could reach out and grip him closer still. Sebastian knew why the contact had affected him so much. He’d never felt people actually cling to him, either in fear or simply because they wanted to. His parents hadn’t been affectionate with him for years, and his lovers, if you could call them that, kept their hands below the belt, and never stayed for long. It was beginning to hit Sebastian; he was going to be living with Kurt, sleeping with him and sleeping next to him. What he couldn’t figure out was why he had pulled him closer. He didn’t deny the wave of arousal that thrummed through him when Kurt had cringed into his neck. Glancing over, Sebastian allowed his mind to wander, to Kurt curled against him, whimpering and panting into his neck as he fucked him, maybe with just fingers to keep the boy breathless. Kurt may not have been exactly who he wanted in a lover, but fuck if he wasn’t going to enjoy having him every night.
Kurt shifted next to him and leaned in a little closer, allowing Sebastian to smell him cologne. Delicious. “Are you nervous?”
Sebastian had to hold back his laugh. “No, but you obviously are.” He patted Kurt’s arm. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.”
Kurt huffed. “Don’t call me baby, and I’m sorry for mistaking you for someone with a heart.” He moved away, and stepped back into his place at the stand, where the judge was waiting. He called the room to order and moved to stand between them to address the crowd with hands raised for silence.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor to see that so many of you have come to such momentous occasion. The first homosexual marriage in Ohio should be celebrated!” His voice was deep and graveled, but strong in conviction. “This marriage shows that we have taken a step forward towards finally beating the plague. Humanity will continue on, even if we relax our guard. We have been so successful that we can allow these two bright young men to be selfish in their love.” He paused, and sent a steely glance at the two boys. “There is much that needs to be appreciated in the sacrifice of our fathers and perhaps grandfathers for some of you.” A few chuckles rose from the audience. “But here we stand, ready to throw off that sacrifice and allow ourselves certain indulgences. Today is a day for those who may now be greedy in their affections. I join everyone here in wishing the greatest of blessings on these young men.” The judge placed a wrinkled hand on each of their shoulders and squeezed them sharply. “I wish you every happiness together, gentlemen.”
Sebastian could see Kurt struggling to keep smiling after they speech. Fucking hell, it was pretty good. It was the perfect way to express their ‘happiness’ as well as prove to the crowd how selfish they were. Bastards. Well, it didn’t matter. They could call him selfish until the day that he died and he would accept it, as long as he never gave into the system.
The judge moved up towards the table where the marriage certificate was waiting to be signed. Sebastian and Kurt stepped forward as well, and stood shoulder to shoulder. The judge spoke again, quieter now, “Gentlemen, we have gathered here to being your new life together, in happiness and—“ His eyes twinkled with cruel joy. “Fruitful abundance. If you please: Sebastian Etienne Smyth, will you accept Kurt Elizabeth Hummel as your lawfully wedded husband?”
Sebastian blinked, a deep grin breaking across his face. “Elizabeth?” Kurt glared at him, and Sebastian could almost hear a growl from the boy.
The judge huffed. “Please just answer.”
Laughing lowly, Sebastian responded, “Well, I don’t think I’m allowed to say no. Yes, I accept.” There was going back now; he was done for.
The judge nodded his approval and turned to Kurt and repeated the question. Sebastian heard his deep, slow breath, and glanced up to catch Kurt’s gaze in his own. “Yes,” he said, still looking into Sebastian’s eyes. “I accept.”
“Wonderful!” The judge said, and he turned back to Sebastian. “Your vows, if you please.”
Sebastian fished his card from his pocket, and brought it up to read the words printed there. “Kurt, I vow to be your husband, until death do us part, to share your life and all of mine as well.” The words were cheesy, and Sebastian wished they could just skip them, but the cold eyes of the judge urged him to continue. “I vow to share all your hardships and to allow you to help in mine. I vow to honor you and—“ The words caught in his throat. “and the system in all its glory. I vow to honor all laws of the Marriage Act so that our marriage will benefit humanity and this world. I vow to help you hold those laws as close to your heart as they are to mine. I vow this as your husband.” Sebastian finished in a rush, feeling sick from his words. It was different from other vows; straight vows focused on the production of children. These were meant to drill the idea into their head. Never stray from the system. Never.
Kurt mumbled the same words as well, his voice quiet and as lifeless as his eyes.
The judge clapped his hands. “Wonderful! You have chosen such dedicated vows!” Sebastian hoped that his disgust didn’t show. “Now please step forward and sign your certificates and it will be official.” They did as they were told, signing the heavy cardstock on the table.
They were given simple silver rings to put on each other. Kurt’s hands shook as he grasped Sebastian’s, sliding the ring on his finger. Sebastian smirked as his put Kurt’s ring on him, moving it back and forth on the finger before sliding it all the way on. “All the way in baby.” He muttered, enjoying the flush that stained Kurt’s cheeks.
“Now gentlemen, you may kiss your husband!”
Fuck. Sebastian had been wishing that this would be the part that differed from straight weddings. Kurt seemed similarly frightened, as he bit his lip and jerked back. Time to get this over with. Sebastian tugged Kurt forward and, with one hand resting on his cheek, he planted his lips on Kurt.
Kurt’s lips were plump and warm from his teeth worrying them, and Sebastian cursed himself for wanting those lips elsewhere. Kurt’s hand jerked up to grasp Sebastian’s jacket, and for a moment, Sebastian forgot that he wasn’t supposed to like the wedding. Because Kurt was warm and pliant, but his grip was fierce, wrinkling the fabric in his shock, and all Sebastian wanted to do was kiss him until the shock faded and Kurt fought back for control.
But there wasn’t time for that, and the noise from the crowd, half excited and half angry, kept him from continuing the kiss. Sebastian pulled back and licked his lips. He barely heard the judge announcing the couple to the room, but the realization hit him.
They were wed.
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Kurt knew that Sebastian wanted to leave. He saw him sitting by the door, tracing patterns into the wood, silent and brooding. It was the most serious he’d seen the boy, a shocking change from the perpetual smirk he wore. But Kurt wasn’t ready to see where he would be living for the next few years. For now he was dancing with Mercedes, leading her in a simple tango. She was laughing into ear at Rachel, who was trying to take the microphone from Puck. (Puck was simply holding it over her head, making her jump for it.) Across the room, Tina spun between Mike and Brittany, giggling as they both turned her faster. Artie played with the music, changing the tune every few seconds as his mood changed. It made dancing a perfect chaos. Kurt liked it here; everything was laughter and craziness and music and a great heaping of normal.
If he could just keep ignoring his black cloud of a husband, he could pretend that everything was normal.
After the three hours that it had taken to settle the registration and receive copies of the certificate, Kurt had expected to head straight to his new apartment to start unpacking. But just as he was getting ready to leave, Puck and Finn had grabbed him and Sebastian (who swiftly began swearing like a sailor at the treatment) and dragged them to one of the convention rooms at the back of the center. A party was waiting there, along with the rest of his friends with cake, streamers and glitter. It was almost perfect. Kurt had to applaud his friends for trying to include Sebastian in the festivities, but the boy had been virulent in his cutting remarks, until Santana had threatened to kick his ass for insulting Brittany.
Now Kurt didn’t want to leave it. The music was great and he had danced with all of his friends.
Mercedes and he finished their dance, and Kurt was just about to get something to drink, when he was snatched up by Santana. He snickered and said, “With the amount of times I’ve been grabbed today, I’m surprised I don’t have bruises.”
Santana winked as she wound her arms around his neck and stepped then out onto the dance floor, leading him. “Kitten face, if you don’t have bruises tomorrow you should slap your husband for not doing a good enough job.”
Kurt swallowed past his embarrassment. “Can I just pretend he doesn’t exist for a little longer?”
“Nope.” She shook her head. “That’s what I’m here for. Much as I would like to ream him for what he said, something has to be done because I think he’s even depressing Berry over there. You need to either dance with that fine ass or take it home to really put it to good use. Don’t be selfish, darling.”
Kurt raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh, but what would you know about being selfish?” He was one of the only ones to know that Santana had registered for a lesbian marriage, something she demanded be kept a secret.
“Please Peter Pan. Go be selfish and take your Captain Hook home.”
“I don’t even know what that one means.” But Santana gave him a slight nod, and stepped away to rescue the microphone from Rachel.
Kurt sighed and made his way to Sebastian’s seat, grabbing two glasses of champagne on the way. It was one of the perks for married couples, being allowed to drink, as long as it never interfered with a pregnancy. He held it out to his husband, saying, “I’m sorry you hate my friends so much.”
“I don’t hate your friends. I severely pity them for their severe lack of culture maturity and talent in their lives, but I don’t hate them. Yet. Give me a few more minutes of listening to the tiny one trying to sing Broadway over Wheel’s rap and I might have to start taking heads off.”
Kurt rolled his eyes and sat next to him. “Santana says I need to take you home.”
Sebastian raised his eyes. “Is she the blonde fairy or the devil woman?”
“The devil woman who tried to kill you.”
“Ah, I like her.”
Kurt tilted his head incredulously. “You like her? Gee, I thought you were gay.”
“I am, and so is she but—“ Kurt cut off Sebastian by slamming his hand down on the boy’s mouth.
“Don’t say that! She hasn’t told anyone!”
Kurt felt Sebastian’s grin before something warm and slimy was sliding across his hand. “Gross! You licked me! What are you, five?” The other boy just smiled deeper and slipped his tongue out to swipe at his lips once Kurt’s hand had moved. “Anyway,” Kurt muttered, as he wiped his hand off on the front of Sebastian’s jacket. “She said I’m being selfish and need to take you home.”
“Selfish huh? You and I need to talk about that.”
“Not here. I refuse to put myself in more danger.”
“You have no backbone.”
“At least I use my brain and don’t try to things like that up here.”
“Fine, when we get to our apartment then. But we do need to talk.” Sebastian glanced at the glass he was holding. “You driving us home? My car is still in Paris.”
Kurt nodded. “Yeah, mine is in the parking lot.”
Sebastian nodded before chugging the rest of his champagne and stood. “Can we go now? I’m bored and I don’t think I can deal with your people anymore.”
Kurt stood as well, leaving the rest of his drink on the chair. No need to get drunk tonight and he could still feel a lingering lightheadedness from his first glass. “Fine, I’ll just say good bye to my friends.”
Kurt’s good byes were long, and even he found them annoying. He liked Mike and Tina’s simple hugs and well wishes, but Puck and Santana’s advice for sex were not needed. As much as he tried, he couldn’t escape Rachel’s tearful embrace, as she sobbed into his shoulder. It wasn’t until he threatened to make her buy him a new suit that she finally let go. Mercedes and Sam both gave him short warm hugs, with a small whisper from Mercedes. “Enjoy yourself.” Kurt had one final bracing slap on the back from Finn, and he escaped.
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Kurt stared into the room, blinking slowly. Each time he closed his eyes, he wished that the scene would change. Behind him, Sebastian swore. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
Inwardly, Kurt agreed.
The apartment was six rooms blended into only three. There was a tiny kitchen with the washing machine next to the stove, a bathroom with a tiny shower, sink and toilet and a final room that served as the dining room, living room and bedroom all at once. It couldn’t have been more than 200 square feet all together. The bed was even built above a small storage space, with two wooden steps leading up the four feet like a bunk bed. A small fold-out table was on the opposite wall, next to a tiny closet that Kurt would have filled with his pants alone. The center of the floor was currently filled with all of his boxes, as well as two pristine suitcases that he assumed belonged to Sebastian.
“How are we supposed to fit in here?” Kurt muttered as he stepped around the boxes to examine the space below the bed. It would fit all of his stuff, but he wasn’t keen on living out of boxes for the next year and a half.
“Well, maybe they didn’t expect one of us to bring all of Wal-Mart with them.”
Kurt spun around. “I do not shop at Wal-Mart, you bastard!”
Sebastian leaned against the fridge, which was difficult considering that it was half his size. “You’re right. Sorry, baby. I know that Wal-Mart has all those icky boy clothes you hate so much. The JC Penny girl’s section is much more your style.”
“You know, for someone who claims to like dick, you do a lot of gay-bashing.”
“Oh baby, no not gay bashing. I just figure if I wanted a gay marriage, I’d get an actual man, not a scared chick like you. Now I know this marriage isn’t going to work.”
“Oh and I bet that’s been your plan all along. Send a jackass from Paris to ruin the only gay marriage in Ohio so that all the other kiddies will play nice and stay straight.” Kurt reveled in the fact that he could speak freely now.
Sebastian jumped from his spot and strode across the boxes to slam Kurt against the window. “Don’t you ever accuse me of working with them again. Say whatever you want about me, but don’t ever imply that I give any sort of flying fuck for the system.”
Kurt winced from the pain in his back as he dug into the ledge, but continued on. “You sure? Nice boy from Paris like you? I think you’re as sold on it as the rest of the world. They brainwash you all don’t they?” He struggled in his grip. “Let me go!”
“Not until you take it back.” Sebastian’s face was a blazing pit of anger, as he snarled down at his husband. “I’ve been fighting against being a slave to the system for my entire life. You can pretend all you want, but you have no idea what it was like in Paris. So I will not deal with my husband calling me a slave to the system!”
Kurt fought a moment longer, holding back the whimper as he felt himself bruise against the wood, but Sebastian’s word had the desired effect. “Fine,” he muttered. “I’m sorry for calling you that. I don’t—I don’t think you’re a slave to the system I can’t imagine you would have married me if you were.”
Relaxing his grip, Sebastian nodded. “Thank you. You can insult my hair, my clothes all you want, because I’m going to do the same to you. But don’t ever think I’m working with them.” He pulled back and turned to sit on the top step to the bed. “Fuck, I guess we need to talk about that.”
Kurt nodded and moved to pull his jacket off and hang it in the closet. “Talk while I move my stuff. We can actually unpack tomorrow. I’m too tired tonight.”
“Oh baby, don’t fall asleep on me now. I haven’t had a chance to sample you yet.” Kurt was going to slap that smirk off his face very soon.
“Whatever you say.” Kurt gave up on moving the boxes for a moment and snagged a pair of sleep pants and disappeared into the bathroom with his toiletries. When he emerged, hair damp from his shower and face glowing under his lotions, he found Sebastian already in his sleep pants. He swallowed as he took in his husband’s bare chest and was deeply glad that he had kept on his white tank top for the moment. Sebastian strode past him without a glance back and went to take his own shower. Kurt gave a sigh of relief. It was not what he was expecting. He shook himself and knelt down to start moving his boxes under the bed.
Sebastian came from the bathroom to see his husband kneeling down, pushing heavy boxes. He was shocked to see the lean muscles of Kurt’s exposed arms, and Sebastian had to choke off the thought that just maybe Kurt could hold him down and—
No. Done with that thought. “Wow baby, I’m surprised you can move such big things. Are you really Samson in disguise?”
“That would require that I don’t cut my hair and there is no force on earth that will keep me from proper hair care.” Kurt glanced up. “And stop calling me baby.”
“I believe that one baby.” Kurt glared at him, sliding the storage door closed. Sebastian moved to sit on one of the black and silver chairs that stood under the table. “Fuck, these are ugly.”
Kurt nodded. “I’m making a list of things we need to buy tomorrow. This place is hideous and I feel like it’s not clean at all.” Sebastian opened his mouth with his smirk already forming, and Kurt cut him off. “Don’t even say it. Call me a girl again and I’ll punch you in the face.”
“You want to prove you’re a man that much?”
“Ok, punching you doesn’t prove that I’m a man; it makes me feel better. And I dare you to say that at school on Monday. You’ll see just how many my girlfriends are and I’ll get to see how fast they deck you.”
“Oh, I’d love to see them try. Especially Santana.” The taller boy nodded. “You’re right, though. This place needs work.” He glanced around the room and then back to his husband. “But we also need to talk about certain details in the ceremony.”
Kurt sighed softly and went to sit across from his husband. “Ok, I’ll start. Were you expecting the Senator?”
“Of course not. I didn’t even know who he was until you said it.”
“You didn’t? Have you lived under a rock your entire life?”
“I thought we established that I grew up in Paris.” Sebastian traced the grain of the faux wood table under his finger. “We weren’t allowed much contact with the rest of the world. They didn’t want any of us getting any funny ideas. We might start talking, or even wanting to choose our own spouses. Shame on us.”
“It’s funny how the system is supposed to be so damn good, but no one really wants to be a part of it,” Kurt said, mostly to himself.
“Dangerous talk right there.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Sebastian groaned and stretched. “Can we just agree that neither one of us wanted him to be there and get to bed.” He flashed his arm at Kurt. “Because our time is ticking and frankly, I’ve had a long day.”
“Aw, pretending to have a headache already? I thought only bored wives played that card.”
“Well, you’d know all about the wife part, wouldn’t you?” Sebastian stood and moved over to the bed. “I can’t believe our bed is four feet in the air. This is just silly.”
Kurt shrugged. “It almost makes sense for the storage space if you just take out the logic of simply building a bigger apartment.”
The taller boy shook his head and switched the smaller light above the bed on, as Kurt went to flip off the larger light. He stopped once it was off, as the room seemed much closer in the half light. “Um, do you have the—“
“The lube? Yeah. Actually, its government provided. It was by the bed.” Sebastian sounded too relaxed for the situation.
Why the hell wasn’t he as nervous as Kurt was? He couldn’t move from the door. Because if he did, he’d have to go have sex with a man he barely knew and frankly couldn’t stand. Oh god, this was not the moment to be panicking. He needed to calm down, because Sebastian was just going to laugh at him if he knew how much he was freaking out. OK, deep breaths in, and slow breaths out. He could do this, and Sebastian didn’t need to know how fucking scared Kurt was right now.
“Kurt? What the hell is taking you so long? It’s a light, not a puzzle.”
Kurt didn’t answer, just took another deep breath and clenched his jaw against saying anything.
“Fuck.” Sebastian muttered. “You’re flipping out, aren’t you? Fuck.” The other boy slid down from the bed and slowly approached Kurt. “Just calm down. It’s not like I’m going to hurt you or whatever else is going through your head right now.”
Kurt bit his lips before responding quietly. “I know. I just—this isn’t how I wanted it to be. I thought I’d get to wake up in a new city the day after my wedding and that would make up for not getting a choice.”
“Well, sorry, but the sex is just going to have to make up for it.”
“I don’t even know what is going to happen. Not really.” Kurt swallowed loudly. “I mean, I know the technical parts to it, but I was going to rely on my husband to decide. But I don’t trust you.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Well, sorry but that doesn’t really matter.” When Kurt stiffened further against the door, Sebastian sighed and stepped back. “Would it help if we talked about it and decided what we are going to do?”
Kurt was baffled. “What do you mean? I thought we were going to…screw.” He flushed at the word.
“It’s cute when you use big boy words.” Kurt glared at him, a touch of bitchiness breaking through his fear. “We don’t have to actually screw. These damn monitors are meant to react even if we just get off together.”
“I thought we needed—“
“Full penetration? God, you really did skip that pleasure class, didn’t you.”
Kurt snapped forward. “Of course I did!”
“What the hell do you mean, of course you did? Do you want a life of bad sex? Because I’ve seen more of this world than you have and frankly that’s all we got.”
“Of course I didn’t do it because my father was the one teaching it!”
Only the sound of Kurt’s labored breathing echoed in the small room. Then Sebastian sucked in long and deep and doubled over laughing.
“Oh my fucking god, you have got to be kidding me! You father? He didn’t look like the kind of man to be deeply interested in how well his son was going to suck dick.”
“Can you not mention my father and blow jobs in the same sentence?” Kurt huffed. “My father was the only one willing to give me my first lesson. The state was actually willing to let me go without that class until he volunteered.”
“And how did that conversation go? Did you discus positions?”
“Once again, shut up. No, he tried to do it right, I’ll give him that. In the end he just gave me the pamphlets and left.” He poked at his husband as Sebastian started to laugh again. “So, no, I don’t know much about sex. I only know what technically happens, so you can forgive me for flipping out.”
Sebastian’s hearty chuckles slowly died down as he slipped back into his calm attitude. “So what do you want then? Blow jobs? I’m pretty good at them.”
Kurt was deeply grateful that the light was dimmed enough to hide most of his flush, and a little taken back. “That’s not what you want, is it?”
“No. I’ve had enough of that to last me the rest of my life.” Sebastian inhaled slowly. “But I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to. It’s stupid and I’m damn sure that I won’t like it.”
The shorter boy was shocked. “If that’s what you want then why not just do it? Why are we having this conversation at all?”
“Because I’m not allowed to have sex with anyone else for the rest of my life, and after tonight you’re not required to ever sleep with me again.” Sebastian tilted his head, eyes glinting with mischief in the light. “And baby, I’d like to continue to have sex, thank you very much.”
Kurt gave his own small smirk. “I knew you thought I was hot.”
“It’s called a lack of options.” He shrugged his shoulders. “So what do you want? We’ve pretty much got hands, mouths, dicks and ass unless we want to get really creative.”
“I think—“ Kurt murmured, then cleared his throat to gain confidence. “I think I want penetration.”
“Why?” Sebastian was going to accept it if it was just because he wanted it himself. Not that he would expect Kurt to bend over to please him.
“Because it wouldn’t feel real to me.” Kurt raised a hand to rub at his exhausted eyes. “I mean, the system would accept it, I know that, but I don’t feel like I could accept it as losing my virginity.” He grew warm again as he said the final word. “So I want it. But fuck I’m scared.”
Sebastian’s eyes were dark as he moved closer to pin Kurt against the door. “So you want me to fuck you.”
He shrugged, trying to play off the sudden spark that the proximity ignited. “I guess if you have to top.”
The other boy snorted. “Oh you think you could top me? Cute baby but—“ He was cut off as Kurt elbowed him in the side. He took advantage of Sebastian’s weakness and flipped them around, pinning him to the door and pressing closer once again.
“Yes it is a question, you bastard. “I could definitely take you, but I really don’t feel like fumbling around tonight. You obviously know more, so I’m going to let you lead. But permission is all that it is.” His grip tightened as he leaned in to whisper into Sebastian’s ear. “And stop calling me baby.”
Sebastian almost growled at the shock of arousal that seared his senses. Fuck he wanted to be held down more, harder and tighter, until he had to beg for his pleasure. But Kurt wanted him in control, so maybe another night? Fuck, he needed it. But he had to hold himself together, not beg Kurt to fuck him and claim him. He had to be cool. “I’ll stop calling you baby when it stops bothering you.” Sebastian bucked his hips against Kurt, pushing him off. “Let me go. If you want this, then I want it on the bed. We need to break it in.”
Kurt pulled back with a hesitant chuckle, and ran his hands through his hair. “Yeah, sorry.” He took a breath. “God this is stupid. I don’t even like you.”
“That’s the best part. You don’t have to like me. You just have to want me. Tell me Kurt. Do you want me?”
A moment of silence passed as they sized each other up.
“Yes—“ Kurt’s response was cut off, as Sebastian jerked forward to kiss him.
This chapter contains explicit sex.
Kurt was shocked as his legs bumped into the table behind him, forcing him to yield to Sebastian’s kiss. He hadn’t expected the other boy to just jump him like that. Shouldn’t they talk more or something, discus things, do anything but let Sebastian have his way with him? But that train of thought died when Sebastian’s hands moved down from their careful grip down to his hips to tug him closer. Fuck, that felt good, and the huff of air that Sebastian gave told him it was mutual.
Kurt allowed himself to be kissed; first hard, closed-mouthed ones that made him want to nip at those lips pressed against him. Then, as Sebastian sucked Kurt’s lip into his mouth to open it, he slipped his tongue in, sliding gently against Kurt’s mouth. It was so different from the hands and eyes and even spirit trying to crush him in their fervor. Kurt couldn’t hold back a moan at the sensation.
Kurt felt the other boy grin into the kiss, as his hands slid below his tank top to tug it up. He stepped back, breaking the kiss and lifted his arms to allow the shirt to be stripped. He took a deep breath and nodded at Sebastian. “You too.”
“Baby, are you saying you want a show?” Kurt rolled his eyes and moved towards the bed, refusing to glance back even when he heard the shirt hit the closet door. But he certainly felt the searing heat as Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist, pulling him close and mouthing at his neck.
Kurt gasped and tried to speak. “Shouldn’t we get on the bed?”
“Hmm,” Sebastian murmured, his kisses getting harder by the second. “But I could take you here, make you grab the ledge and bend over. Maybe that’s why the bed is so high up.” He finished the sentence with a hard bite that made Kurt yelp in pain.
“Stop it!” Kurt spun around and backed into the bed. “Don’t do that!”
Sebastian took a deep breath trying not to let his frustration show. “Don’t do what? Mark you?”
Kurt nodded swiftly, anger still played across his face. “I hate bruises and marks.”
“I’m so sorry that I’m so bad at this that you’re thinking of your complexion.”
“It’s not that!”
“Really? Then what is it? Because I thought it meant that you were mine, and from now on no one will see you without knowing who you belong too!”
Kurt glared and advanced forward, poking Sebastian in the chest painfully. “First of all, you heathen, you do not own me. You may have married me and I may have been forced to say yes, but you don’t ever own me.” He brought his hand down and glanced away. “And if I belong to everyone one who marked me, then I belong to every person who had hurt me. The football team owns me for every time they slammed me into a locker and the rest of the jocks own me for all the times they dropped me into the dumpsters. I hate bruises because they mean that people hate me for something I can’t change about myself.”
A heavy silence fell over the room until Sebastian sighed and spoke. “I like being marked. It means they aren’t afraid of someone finding out we had sex. It means that someone is willing to admit that they were with me.”
Kurt nodded. “That’s fine with me. I’ll mark you all you want—“
“I really don’t think there’s enough time in the universe for that.”
“But!” He continued with a pointed glare. “I don’t want you to mark me. Understand?”
Sebastian nodded, with a curious look on his face. “Is there anything else you really don’t want?”
“Well, I don’t know much of what there is. I’ll tell you if I don’t like it though.” Another nod from Sebastian. “Is there anything you really don’t like?”
He thought for a moment before responding. “I don’t like sex in the dark. I want to be able to see what I’m doing.” He didn’t mention that he’d had enough hurried, frightened fumbles in abandoned closets to last his entire life, and he just wanted someone to fuck in the middle of the day.
Kurt blushed. “I’ll try not to be embarrassed.”
Sebastian laughed, full and honest. “Kurt, I’m going to put my dick up your ass. I really don’t think you have anything to be embarrassed about.” He moved closer. “Now can we please start talking and start screwing?”
Kurt smirked and held out his hand to cup Sebastian’s face. He caressed the cheek gently, letting him relax in to his grip and smile seductively. Kurt smiled back and yanked him forward by his neck, spinning them around and slamming Sebastian against the bed. He immediately lurched forward and latched his mouth on to the slim pale neck in front of him. Kurt sucked harshly, letting his teeth nip him roughly. His hands scratched down his chest and Sebastian gasped as his skin turned bright red after each digit.
“Fuck, Kurt!” Sebastian fought to keep his knees from buckling at the treatment. For someone so lithe and graceful, Kurt certainly had a way with his teeth and nails. It was like there was an animal hidden beneath the designer labels, some fierce bird waiting to be unleashed to conquer the world. Sebastian certainly felt conquered as Kurt moved to mark the other side. His neck throbbed with heat and his knees felt even weaker as Kurt scraped down his chest again.
The taller boy would have been happy to let Kurt ravish him, but Kurt had asked to be fucked. And Sebastian was proud to admit that he never let a partner down, no matter how much they did it to him. He moved his hands from Kurt’s hips, slim and undulated under them, and pulled gently at his shoulders. “Fuck, Kurt, hang on. I thought you wanted to—“ He hasped as Kurt bit down on his collarbone, before sucking it. “I thought you wanted me to lead tonight.”
“I thought you wanted me to mark you,” Kurt murmured into his skin.
“God, yes, and fuck you’re good at it, but this is not going to get us what we need.”
Kurt sighed and moved back, licking his lips to taste them. “Fine.”
Sebastian nodded. “Pants off and get on the bed.” He watched as Kurt flushed deeply before swallowing and moving his hands to his waistband. Sebastian caught his nervous gaze and smirked back at him. Kurt scowled and slid his sleep pants and underwear down in one smooth motion. He had to be a dancer of some sort with how gracefully he stepped out of them. He straightened up and looked back into Sebastian’s eyes.
Sebastian was shocked at how much he wanted this boy. Those clothes did nothing to show how strong he really was. Every inch of him was pale creamy skin, except for a few places where Sebastian could see the faint yellow mark of a fading bruise. But the delicate nature of his skin was overshadowed by the lithe muscle in his legs, arms and everywhere that Sebastian wanted to touch. His stomach was taught and smooth, even though he couldn’t see the muscle there, Sebastian was sure that it was just as toned as the rest of him. Fuck, he was beautiful, like the goddess Artemis, pale as the moon, but a powerful hunter, ready to take down his prey. Sebastian was only too happy to be shot.
Kurt began to fidget under Sebastian gaze. Maybe he’d been too bold, stripping it all off like that. But the hungry look on his husband’s face kept him from completely regretting it. He just wished that he would fucking move.
“Um, so…” He couldn’t think of anything to say, but he saw Sebastian jerk at the sound of his admittedly incoherent voice. He smirked and slipped his own pants off. With no underwear to impede the view, Kurt could take in the full sight before him. His legs were tanned, with strong lines and painfully muscles edges. His arms were ripped in just the right places, but with a layer of soft looking skin to keep it from becoming too much. His stomach was ribbed with muscles that tapered into a V at his hips, drawing Kurt’s eyes to the cock bobbing in front of him. Never had he felt so… gay before. It was long and beet red, but not so thick that Kurt felt overwhelmed by it. His hair was trimmed neatly, and it was all so inviting that Kurt’s mouth watered at the sight of it. Yup, he was certainly gay.
“Like what you see?” Kurt wanted to figure out how to bottle and sell smug, because the amount that Sebastian had would keep him rich for life.
“Shut up and get on the bed. You are not bending me over the edge of it.”
Sebastian laughed and went up the steps to the bed, saying, “Not yet anyway.”
Kurt had to crush the trill of longing at the taut ass presented to him as Sebastian climbed up onto the bed. He had a ridiculous urge to slap it, just to see how red it would become. His husband’s admission that he wanted to be marked left him thrumming with need. It made him want to own Sebastian, to take that smart ass attitude and mold it with control, and sex until his smirking mouth was filled with Kurt’s name. He felt strange about it though. Wasn’t that what he’d just admitted to hating? What he was working against for so long, the feeling that someone owned him? He shook his mind at the thought and climbed up after Sebastian, and rested on top of the covers and to conveniently placed sheet. Sebastian must have placed it here, he realized, and blushed at the thought of why they were going to need it. So messy.
Sebastian was on his side near the wall, watching Kurt intently. Kurt looked more thoughtful than nervous, which he took as a good thing. He asked, “You still want me to lead, right?” He knew the answer, as Kurt hadn’t looked like he was going to change his mind, but Sebastian wasn’t going to fuck up his only chance for sex for the rest of his life over not being sure.
“Yeah,” Kurt nodded shakily, feeling silly just lying on the bed, naked with his hands pressed nervously into his stomach.
“Okay.” Sebastian moved over him, and kissed him fully on the lips once more. His hands pulled at Kurt’s until they were on either side of his head. Sebastian took advantage of the openness to lower himself onto Kurt. He groaned, deep into Kurt’s mouth as he felt the boy buck under him at the contact. It must have been because he was flushed, but Kurt was burning hot, and Sebastian just wanted to devour him whole.
Kurt’s eyes had closed during the kiss, and even when he felt Sebastian’s heavy cock resting against his thigh. But they flew open as his husband began to plant humid, open-mouthed kisses at his neck.
“Relax Kurt,” Sebastian said, as he licked across his shoulder. “I’m not going to mark you. Just trust me to make this good for you, and tell me if you need me to stop.”
Kurt nodded slightly, then gasped when Sebastian moved down to lick at his nipple. He never thought they would be so sensitive, but a lifetime of people being afraid to touch him because he was different made him acutely aware of the roughness of the tongue as it laved gently at his nipple.
One of Sebastian’s hands slid up to his head as he moved back up Kurt’s body. He shifted his leg until he heard Kurt moan at the gentle pressure on his cock, as it had just reached hard enough for Sebastian to play with. He kissed Kurt again, filthy and deep, as both hands came to play with his hair, pulling it in random directions.
Kurt frowned into the kiss. The hands in his hair felt interesting, but hardly as good or coordinated as the rest of it had been. He gasped and pulled back as he realized. “You fucker! Stop touching my hair!”
Sebastian laughed into his shoulder. “I keep promises baby. If your hair doesn’t look like you were electrocuted tomorrow, I’ll feel bad for breaking it.”
“You’re a total jackass.”
“That’s nice Kurt. I’m going to blow you now. Try not to pull my hair out baby.” Sebastian kissed his way down Kurt’s chest, with a laugh still caught in his throat.
Kurt bit back a moan as Sebastian hit his nipple again. “I’m going to color your hair black in your sleep. You’ll never get it out and you’ll look terrible in it.”
“Then I’m going to bleach all your shirts,” Sebastian muttered into his hipbone, as Kurt’s cock jerked against his cheek. He reached a hand up to wrap around the base of it and licked roughly at the joint between Kurt’s leg and pelvis, forcing a started gasp out of his husband. Much as he bemoaned the endless time spent with his limited sexual experience, he was happy to say that he gave the best blowjobs. Kissing around it, Sebastian considered Kurt’s cock. It wasn’t as long as his, but it had the same thickness. He’d easily be able to take most of it in his mouth. It was pale like the rest of him, but flushed at the moment. Sebastian almost laughed out loud when he realized that it was the same shade of red that Kurt’s face turned when he was really embarrassed. When he wasn’t trying to get laid, he was so going to tell Kurt that. As he started to mouth at the tip, Sebastian was happy at how clean it tasted, slightly salty from the precome that Sebastian elicited from him. He gave a slow, gentle suckling motion and was rewarded with a heavy gasp and deep panting above him. He pressed his tongue to the underside of the head, flicking it swift and hard, while his hand began pumping the rest of the shaft. Kurt groaned deep and tried to buck up. Sebastian pulled off with a heavy pop and tutted at him. “Careful baby. If you choke me I’ll get off on my own. Maybe tie you up and force you to watch.”
Sebastian sounded way too cheerful for someone who just had a dick in their mouth. Kurt desperately wanted to shut him up. He reached a hand down and tugged his husband for a kiss that made him groan at the salty taste. Above him, Sebastian rutted into Kurt’s thigh, then pulled back from the kiss.
“I know I was trying to mess up your hair, but could you do me a favor and not pull out all of mine.”
Kurt blushed again, and loosened his grip on the boy’s head. “Maybe I’m just trying to save you from your boy band hair.” He jerked his leg up, rubbing harder against Sebastian. The boy above him groaned deep. Kurt took advantage of his weakness and flipped them, straddling his thighs and pinning his arms to the bed. He shifted until both wrists were trapped below his left hand. Sebastian smirked, but still struggled to move. Kurt grinned back and reached over for the lube, in a convenient pump bottle. He gave a few pumps and shifted down to grip Sebastian’s cock in his hand, spreading the lube evenly before pumping hi slowly.
Sebastian had to bite back the violent groan that tried to rip through him. Fuck, Kurt was a hell of a lot stronger than he first thought. He easily held him down, and his grip on his cock was tight and sure. But too fucking slow! Sebastian couldn’t hold back the wild moan when Kurt pressed his thumb against the slit and caught the drop of fluid there on the edge of his nail. He squeezed tighter then let go. “Fuck, Kurt please!” Sebastian blushed lightly at how desperate he sounded. But Kurt was cool and arrogant as he brought his hand up to slip his thumb into his mouth to taste. He was the dangerous god again, and Sebastian fleetingly thought that he would gladly give up his freedom to be at the mercy of the god.
The image was shattered when Kurt realized how intently Sebastian was staring, and jerked his head to the side in embarrassment at ho lewd he was being. He was just curious about the taste but the dark want in Sebastian’s eyes told him he was showing much more than that.
Sebastian wanted the god back, but the shift had shaken him. This wasn’t about Kurt being I charge tonight. He spoke, swallowing thickly before he did. “You should let me up and I’ll get you ready.” He laughed, shaky and nervous. “Any more of this and it’ll be over before it even really begins.”
Kurt blushed deeper, but let him go. “I knew you thought I was hot.”
Sebastian gave a quick, false chuckle. “Sorry, I just don’t want you to miss the pleasure of my cock. I know how much you’ve been craving it.” He moved up and gently pushed Kurt until he was lying in his place. He looked nervous, so he leaned down and kissed him. It was much gentler than any before it, and Sebastian found himself reluctant to pull away.
Kurt pulled back first, muttering, “I think you should prep me now.”
Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at him and reached a hand over to pump some lube into his hand. “See if you can pull your legs up. It’ll be easier for both of us.” Kurt nodded at him and placed his hands on the backs of his thighs, making Sebastian groan at the sight, so open and willing. He was almost hesitant to touch his husband. But he did, slipping his hand with the lube down his body, grazing his cock and balls before settling at his opening. He spread the lube around the pink pucker for a minute before slipping his middle finger in slowly. He knew it was supposed to be tight, but he didn’t think it would be a hot vice around his finger. “Kurt, you have to relax or this is going to go nowhere. Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.”
Kurt nodded and willed his muscles to unclench. He had to make it hurt less or he wasn’t going to get anything. On each slow breath, he felt Sebastian slip his finger in and out, each time a little deeper until he could feel the joints of his hand against the skin around his hole.
“Yeah, baby, just like that, nice and calm and I’ll make you feel good, perfect even.”
Sebastian’s nonsense continued on, and Kurt really wished that he could be more annoyed by it. But it was really comforting to know that he wasn’t alone in this. He relaxed even further and Sebastian started to slip in a second finger, causing a shock of pain up Kurt’s spine.
“Easy baby, I got you.” Kurt latched onto his husband’s words and for fleeting moment wished that he was close enough to kiss him. He pushed the thought away and instead focused on the sparks of pleasure that were starting each time Sebastian split his fingers inside of him and brushed across his prostate.
“Sebastian, please,” he panted, then gasped as a third finger joined the rest. He swallowed and forced himself to stay calm. Sebastian responded by moving all three deeper, hitting that spot inside of him directly. Kurt arched off the bed, losing his grip on his legs. The dropped to the bed with a thump, taking Sebastian’s hand in deeper. Kurt groaned, low and broken.
“You’re so fucking hot like this Kurt.” Sebastian twisted his fingers in his sharply, just to feel that intense space tighten around him. “All but begging to have something in you, but so fucking tight.” He leaned in closer, pulling Kurt’s leg up and bending it around his waist, so he could whisper in his ear. “You may not want me to bruise your skin, but you will be mine. You’ll feel it deep inside you and no one else will ever be able to touch you again.” Sebastian kissed Kurt deeply, catching the disappointed moan that followed him pulling his fingers out.
“Don’t worry baby, you’ll get what you need,” he muttered as he pumped more lube onto his cock, just to make sure. “Here, hold your leg up.” Sebastian pulled Kurt’s left leg up spreading his hole until Kurt grabbed the limb.
Kurt gave a sharp sudden intake. This was it. “Sebastian, I—“
“Shh, I got you baby. Just relax and let yourself feel good.” Sebastian reached his right hand up to pin Kurt’s to the bed. He used his other hand to guide his cock to the other boy’s slick opening. “Take a deep breath and breathe out slowly. I’m going to put it in while you do, nice and slow.” Which was asking a lot, with how his dick was twitching at just being close to his opening.
“Okay,” Kurt murmured. He closed his eyes as well, and Sebastian had to force himself to remember that it was for the pain, not because he was ashamed to be there. He watched him take a long breath in and as soon as he started to let it out, he began to press in. He allowed himself one small gasp at the infinite tightness surrounding him, before he stopped with just the head past the ring of muscle.
Kurt finished the exhale with his face screwed up in pain. It wasn’t until Sebastian groaned, “Take a deep breath Kurt, and relax” that he sucked in air.
“Fuck, that hurts.” Kurt focused on Sebastian’s hand in his to ignore the burning stretch where they were connected. He felt Sebastian’s slim fingers clenching his own, and ran his thumb over the index finger. There were small calluses on the side, making Kurt wonder how he got them. He would have to ask later. The hand tightened against him, making him acutely aware of the ring they were both touching now.
“Kurt.” Sebastian’s voice interrupted him. “I really need to fucking move.”
Kurt nodded and took another deep breath. As he released the air, he felt Sebastian shift deeper into him, sliding hot and thick until their hips were flush together. His husband groaned, loud and uninhibited. His left hand moved to tangle with Kurt’s hand holding his leg up. “Please tell me when I can move, fuck, please.” Kurt jerked his head sharply and gave himself fifteen seconds to breathe slowly. It really was getting better, and when his self-allocated time was up, he nodded to his husband.
Sebastian gave a sigh of relief and pulled back slowly before sliding back in a few inches at the same pace. He continued until he felt Kurt unclench even further. The he pulled back until just his tip rested inside before sliding back in, barely faster this time. Below him, Kurt gasped and arched his hips up higher. Sebastian repeated the action, faster each time until he felt Kurt begin to meet his thrusts, arching up into him on every piston forward. Fuck, he was still so damn tight, but hot and slick at every motion and Sebastian just needed to be closer. He tried to move his hand down from where it pinned Kurt to the mattress, but he wouldn’t let go. Instead, he groaned, “Put your leg around me.” Kurt panted his assent and shifted until he had one leg still up and the other wrapped around Sebastian’s waist.
Kurt groaned as it pulled Sebastian deeper into him. He felt him change the angle of his thrusts and Kurt gasped when he finally gave a direct hit to his prostate. “God, Sebastian, faster!” The air around then was hot and think and Kurt just wanted to drown in it. As Sebastian hit his spot with each powerful thrust, he felt like he could drown. He was almost there; just a fraction more and he knew he would be gone. “Sebastian,” he panted. “I’m so close, can you—“ He was cut off when his husband let go of his leg to grab his cock. The moment Kurt felt his hand twist around the head, he was gone, crying out and arching his back sharply.
Kurt floated through Sebastian’s desperate moans, coming back only to feel him tug his hand away to hold both legs open. Kurt gave a weak grunt at the slick, fast motion within him, but stayed relaxed. He allowed Sebastian to simply have him, plundering his body with deep bruising for a minute until he slammed in hard and stilled there. Kurt grimaced at the wet heat flooding him and had to catch his breath when Sebastian collapsed on him. Kurt wrapped his arms around him husband on instinct, feeling the layer of sweat on his back and the panting moving it below him.
Sebastian allowed himself to breath deep and full, sucking in the scent of Kurt’s hair on every intake from where his head was nuzzled against his neck. He could smell the mint lotion he used on his face, and the subtle floral scent of his conditioner. It wasn’t off-putting though, soft and sweet, like sitting in a garden in the summer heat, with the humid air drowning the flowers. Sebastian could smell sweat and sex drifting into his little world and Kurt’s arms were resting awkwardly on his back. But he stayed a moment longer, reveling. He’d finally done it; he’d had sex with a man in the light, full and honest. But was it really honest? Would Kurt have been willing to be with him if they hadn’t been forced to marry? Did it even matter?
Below him, Kurt spoke softly, struggling to stay awake. “Hey, you’re getting a little heavy.”
“Yeah, sorry.” Sebastian rolled to the right and climbed out of bed. Kurt tried to follow, but kissed loudly at the movement. “Hang on, I’ll get a towel to clean you up and then we can sleep. You’re going to be sore for a while.”
“Sore is a bit of an understatement,” Kurt said slumping back on the pillow. He shivered as the cool air circulated the room, brushing against his slowly drying skin. Sebastian slipped back in and started to wipe down Kurt’s stomach and thighs in smooth, even swipes. The cloth was warm and soft and Kurt swiftly found himself drifting off. He barely felt Sebastian push him so he could pull the sheet under him off the bed. He heard a beep and felt a sudden heat waft over him. Sebastian climbed up into the bed again and curled behind Kurt by the wall. He pulled the comforter up and over them both.
Kurt barely remembered to mutter, “Good night,” before he was lost to the world.
Kurt woke up once in the middle of the night, freezing cold and immobile with terror. His room was never this cold, so why the hell was he shivering? There was a soft breathing behind him and Kurt didn’t dare move. Should he call his dad? Scream? He reached a hand out for his phone but only reached a wooden ledge. Why the hell was there…?
Because he wasn’t at home anymore and he couldn’t call his father. That breathing was his husband, who had apparently kicked the covers off of both of them at some point. Stupid small bed. Kurt would have gladly taken them if it had been bigger.
He started to rise to pull them up, but was stopped by an arm wrapping around his waist. He strangled the yelp trying the escape as he was pulled closer to Sebastian, who wrapped both arms around him and threw his leg over both of Kurt’s for good measure. Kurt felt engulfed and slightly claustrophobic. While he’d been fine with the close proximity last night, somehow this felt different. It was almost more intimate. He could feel Sebastian’s chest rising with each intake, pressing against his shoulder and chest. His cock was flaccid against his hip and Kurt could feel Sebastian breathing against his neck, where his head was nuzzled.
Kurt remembered how he’d cuddled there before, kissing the skin and simply inhaling. He must like it there, Kurt thought idly, as he began to drift off, finally warm in the heat of Sebastian’s body.
Sebastian woke up deeply annoyed. It might have been from the headache caused by the extra glass of champagne he’d had last night. It might have been because it was about two hours earlier than he wanted to wake up. But he was pretty sure it was because his lovely new husband was screeching in his ear.
“Get up Sebastian! We have to leave in two hours to get these stupid sensors taken out! Wake up and let me go!”
Hm. He hadn’t realized he was holding Kurt. It felt nice, if he could just get some ear plugs. Without opening his eyes, Sebastian moved his arm on top of Kurt to steal the pillow below his head. Ignoring the indignant squawk that followed, he placed the pillow gently over his husband’s head, muffling the sound, but now hard enough to cut off any air. Sebastian moved closer to cuddle into the pillow. Perfect. A warm body next to him, and now peace and quiet with it.
It lasted a full three minutes of Kurt yelling under the pillow and wriggling his arms. The Kurt broke free and elbowed Sebastian to break the rest of his hold.
“You jerk! We have to get up!”
God, make it stop. Sebastian just wanted to sleep, why the hell did he have to wake up so early? He felt the bed shift as Kurt sat up, or tried to at least. He gave an anguished yell, and dropped back to the pillows, groaning in pain. Sebastian bolted up.
“Are you okay?”
Kurt groaned again, and reached a hand behind him. “No, fuck, that really hurts.”
Sebastian reached behind Kurt as well, to turn him slightly on his side. He moved to the edge of the bed to get a better look. Kurt’s hole was still bright red and puffy, obviously sore. There was a light sheen at the center, where Sebastian knew there was come and lube leftover from last night starting to seep out.
“Stay here, I’ll get you some aspirin.” Luckily, he kept some in his wallet as hangover prevention, because he really didn’t want to dig through all their stuff to find it. He grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen (woefully small with only three cups and no dishwasher). Holding him up, he watched as Kurt swallowed the pills. His throat was pale and ethereal, moving with the water flowing down it. Sebastian was glad that he hadn’t marked Kurt last night. Now that they were in the light of day, he could fully see the yellow and purple patches on his shoulders and hips. They looked too painful and he wanted to ask if the bigger ones had been checked out by a nurse. But he bit his tongue. It was way too early for those kinds of questions.
“Stay here until the pills have kicked in.” Sebastian paused, resting his eyes on Kurt’s naked body, pained and most likely cold. He tugged up the covers to hide most of the lithe frame. Kurt seemed so powerful last night, when he’d held Sebastian down. But this was different; he was hurt and the taller boy didn’t want to admit that some part of it was his fault. But was it really? It wasn’t like he’d chosen to screw Kurt last night. The system had chosen for him, had made them get married, had made them fuck. It was almost…rape.
Sebastian physically shook himself. He couldn’t think that. It was too dangerous. That was rebel territory, and he wasn’t about to get himself killed like that.
Luckily, Kurt missed the shake, so Sebastian muttered, “I’m going to take a shower. Then you can go when you’re feeling better.” He left the room without waiting for a response. As he started the shower, Sebastian realized something. How the hell did they switch like that, with Kurt getting to sleep in, and Sebastian wide awake?
Sebastian drove them to the center, while Kurt texted his family and friends, and winced at every bump.
“Hey Sebastian,” Kurt said, ending the silence.
“What?” Sebastian was still cranky; there was no food in the kitchen and no time to even stop for coffee. Stupid monitors.
“Do you mind having lunch with my family? Then we can go grocery shopping on the way back. Dad wants to take us all out.”
Sebastian thought for a moment. On one hand, he would have free food right after this stupid procedure, but on the other he would have to meet Kurt’s family. Well, Sebastian’s family now, he supposed. And he hated meeting families. They all decided things about him before they even knew him, or they thought he wanted to fall into their arms and love them right away. He didn’t want either of those things; he just wanted to be allowed to be himself. But still, free food, and he would have to meet them eventually.
“Fine. Where are we going?”
“I hate that place.”
“Well, you’re not paying for it, are you? Deal with it.” Kurt went back to ignoring him and trying not to groan in pain, but Sebastian could still hear him each time he huffed in pain. This was so ridiculous. They shouldn’t have to do this. Normal couples didn’t have to. Well, Sebastian thought, they had it a little worse, with a physical examination and requisite hormone injections. God, this was so fucked up, and it was still too early to be thinking about it. But every time Kurt bit his lip in pain, Sebastian was forced to think about it. What would it have been like if the world was different? Would he have ever met Kurt? Would he have hated Kurt, or would he have fallen in love with him? Sebastian rolled his eyes at the mushy thoughts and focused on the road.
Removing the sensor was a tedious affair. First there was the initial questioning, that made Kurt’s skin crawl with the sick insinuation. He was going to deny that he had sex with Sebastian, but the deeply intimate questions they asked made him wish that he never had. Sebastian had it no better, but if he was embarrassed, he never showed it. He just answered the questions with a shocking openness, occasionally winking at Kurt when a particularly disgusting one came up. It made Kurt almost as sick as his own question had made him. It was as if Sebastian was fine with all of this. He couldn’t understand it and he just wanted to leave the building and never come back.
He was ridiculously happy when they finally left, and he could pretend that it never happened. His only reminder was a band aid on his arm, and the promise from the bored nurse that they would receive the results from the examination soon. Kurt could ignore the wound, but the throbbing betrayal he felt every time he looked at his husband wouldn’t go away. He thought they had some sort of agreement last night, that they both hated this and would only go along with it if they had to. They were both victims in this and they would stick together. Sebastian was his only ally in all of this, and if he was going to treat him like some sort of sexual play thing then Kurt just couldn’t deal with it.
And he certainly couldn’t trust him anymore
Sebastian was starving by the time they reached the restaurant. He had woken up hungry, but after the two vicious hours it took to take out the monitors (not to mention the hour that it took for Kurt to finally get ready to leave) he was ready to eat anywhere, even Breadstix.
He was still upset by the questions, but he tried to keep Kurt from seeing. Kurt’s family had been threatened, so it would have been a bad thing to make the officials think that he’d been bothered by it at all. So he’d played it off as a joke, but it still made him sick to think about it all. Why the hell did they need to know such intimate details anyway? They had fucked, following the law, so why should they care at all beyond that? It was exhausting to think about, and Sebastian just wanted to go back to bed, maybe bring Kurt with him to keep the bed warm.
Instead he had to meet Kurt’s family and be nice and polite. Being nice and polite was not his strong suit, especially when it came to authority figures. Kurt was silent next to him as they walked into the restaurant. It was silly, and he looked miserable with pain. Sebastian certainly didn’t know how to make him happy. It wasn’t really his job, actually. So why the hell was he so concerned with him? Screw it, he was upset and tired and hungry, He was not responsible for making Kurt happy on top of all that. But still, he couldn’t help feeling a little pity when Kurt nudged him.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom. I— Just go find a seat; my family shouldn’t be here yet. Be nice to them if they are.”
Kurt had been leaving to go to the bathroom all day, no doubt a side effect of his first time having anal sex. He should be at home, sleeping and eating in bed all day, not dealing with government psychos and pretending to smile and be happy for his family.
Stupid. Sebastian shrugged off the thought. Kurt wasn’t his responsibility. He just wasn’t.
Fortunately, Kurt’s family wasn’t there yet, so he had a few moments to himself.
The waitress came by, an older lady with two rings and silver hair. Forced to marry again. He husband must have died young, and left her with no children. From the weathered look on her face, and the worn shoes she stood in, Sebastian could tell that her second marriage had been a bust as well. “What do you want to drink?” She sounded sweet though.
“I’ll have coffee and …” Shit. Did Kurt want him to order a drink for him? A smile spread over his face. It would be the perfect way to make Kurt laugh, maybe keep him from being completely miserable when his father showed up.
Kurt exited the bathroom just in time to see his family show up. “Dad!”
Burt turned, smiling at first, then slipping into a barely controlled wave of anger. “Hey kiddo, you don’t look so good.”
Kurt pouted. “I’ll have you know I spent plenty of time on this outfit this morning. I look perfect.”
Carol pushed past her husband. “Of course you look fine dear, you just seem like you’re hurting. Is everything alright?”
Blushing, Kurt accepted the hug that she offered. “Yes, everything is perfectly fine. It’s normal,” He moved away, careful not to wince this time and hugged his father. “I missed you. It’s odd not having you in the same house.”
Burt shrugged his shoulders, and spoke, his voice gruff with emotion. “I missed you too kid. How’s that husband of yours?”
They started towards the table, grabbing Finn who was stuck staring at the daily specials. Kurt spoke as he walked. “He’s fine. A little… cold to be honest, and possibly a complete jerk, but he’s honest about it at least.”
Finn frowned, momentarily pulled into the conversation. “It sounds like you don’t like him.”
Shrugging his shoulders, Kurt glanced around to find Sebastian. “It doesn’t really matter if I like him. I’m married to him either way. Not everyone can be as lucky as you and Rachel.”
“Dude, we aren’t lucky yet. They still haven’t accepted us yet. Stupid, I don’t know why they won’t just marry us.”
Kurt nodded in agreement as he spotted Sebastian crouched down into the bench of one of the larger tables. He kept his thoughts about Finn and Rachel to himself though. Frankly, he was glad they weren’t married yet. Rachel was annoying on a normal day, but having her finally get her way would make her impossible to deal with.
They reached the table, with Kurt leading. Sebastian had his back to them, and it would have been cute how he was slouched into the bench sipping his coffee if he hadn’t been a grown man and not five years old.
“Hey,” Kurt called out, as he slid in next to him, biting his lip as he sat.
Sebastian turned to grin at him. “Hey Kurt, I got you a drink, Shirley Temple.” He waggled his eyebrows “Extra cherries.”
Oh my god. Kurt’s face burned as he became acutely aware of the fact that his father was right behind him. Sebastian must have noticed too, because his face fell for a second then hitched right back into his smirk. He motioned to them. “Have a seat. I would have ordered you all drinks, but I only know how Kurt likes it.”
Kurt was seriously entertaining ways to kill Sebastian. Could he use the breadsticks as a weapon? They were tough, but were they hard enough to split his skull? God, why was Sebastian still talking? His father was turning purple, but luckily Carol spoke up, placing a calming hand on Burt’s.
“Thank you for the offer Sebastian, but we can order our own drinks.”
But still looks like he would explode soon, so Kurt nudged Sebastian with a muttered, “Try not to be a total ass.”
Sebastian swallowed by refused to buck under the gaze of Kurt’s father. He wasn’t supposed to hear that; Kurt was supposed to roll his eyes and make a snarky comment back at him, and have that spark of life in his eyes again. Now Sebastian was on the receiving end of a glare that was obviously meant to melt the skin from his bones.
Well, it didn’t matter. He was bad with parents so why should be bother trying to impress Kurt’s?
Finn’s head shot up from the menu. “Oh, was that about sex, because you gave him extra cherries?”
Sebastian saluted him and went back to his coffee, refusing to give more than one word answers for the rest of the meal, no matter how much Carol prodded him. He didn’t have anything good to tell them anyway. He was nothing but a sexual deviant whose own family was ashamed of. So they might as well hate him now, and stop the silly charade.
Sebastian ordered another coffee, and that was the last time he spoke during lunch.
The day didn’t get much better for Kurt after he said good bye to his father. From the moment they stepped back into the apartment to start unpacking, Sebastian was a total jerk to him. Each time he would open a box, a snide comment would float from across the room where Sebastian was putting his books on the small black shelf, textbooks and a few novels in French stacked on the bottom two shelves. He discussed his hair products, how many clothes he had, and whether or not he owned women’s underwear too. It was too much to deal with and Kurt was itching to slap Sebastian.
When he finally had his last box organized (he would have to buy better storage boxes for the rest of his clothes) he was dead tired and sore. Sebastian looked sleepy next to him as well, but Kurt was beyond talking to him.
Instead we went to his phone and ordered Chinese, his favorites but still enough for two. Sebastian would just have to deal with it if he wanted to eat. They had skipped grocery shopping together when it looked like Sebastian was going to spend the rest of the day silent. Kurt deeply “What’s that sweetheart? Not going to make your darling husband some dinner?”
Kurt slammed his phone down, glaring at Sebastian. Finally he spoke, “I’m going to take a shower. Pay him when the food gets here.”
Sebastian refused to jump when the bathroom door slammed shut behind Kurt. He wasn’t going to be sorry for his actions. He was still upset from lunch and watching Kurt put together their apartment just made this sickness real. Seeing Kurt’s shampoo next to his, and watching Kurt put up pictures of his friends as if he planned on actually living here almost made him sick to his stomach. Because Kurt was trying to go along with this, and Sebastian had nothing left to offer him except maybe really great sex. So why the hell would he even try to get along with him?
When the food came, Sebastian paid the man and opened the boxes, just as Kurt walked out of the bathroom. He was dressed in a pair of soft satin sleeping pants and a tee shirt that looked worn and old. Sebastian wanted to run his hands over the fabric and pull Kurt into him until they were both warm and soft and smelled the same.
Instead, he took another bite of rice.
Later, as they crawled into bed, early because of school the next day, they still hadn’t spoken. But Sebastian still slid forward from the wall, as soon as Kurt flicked on the light above their bed. He had a book and a glass of water, and Sebastian was determined to make Kurt forget about both of them. He slid his arms around Kurt and moved to kiss his shoulder. He knew that Kurt was still sore from the night before, but he needed some sort of intimacy with Kurt, to make up for the crappy day, as well as to apologize for how he’d acted. He didn’t know how to apologize with words, but he could certainly make Kurt feel better with his body.
He started to kiss along Kurt’s neck, licking the scent directly from the source. Fuck, he was so smooth; he just wanted to bury himself in the smoothness of Kurt’s skin until nothing else existed. Until Kurt’s hand came up and slapped him in the face.
“What the fuck Kurt?”
Kurt rolled over, facing him properly. “Do you have some sort of head trauma I should know about? Because I distinctly remember you treating me like crap all day.”
Sebastian scoffed. “I was teasing you!” he reached a hand out again, only to have Kurt jerk away from him again.
“So you think you can just say that and suddenly everything is okay?” He huffed and set down his book. “You treat me like dirt all day, and pull that stupid joke in front of my family and you expect me to just roll over and let you fuck me? And not to mention how you kept acting like I was some kind of toy at the center!” Kurt took a breath, livid now.
“Shut up Sebastian.” Kurt was deadly calm now, and Sebastian was a little scared of it. “You may not know me well, and frankly I’m glad right now that I don’t know you, but I will not take that from you. You said last night that I didn’t have to have sex with you ever again. Well guess what? You can be as perfect in bed all you want but if you treat me like you have then there is no way in hell I’m going to sleep with you. Good night Sebastian.” Kurt reached up, slapping the light off.
Sebastian never hated the darkness more.
Sebastian woke up first this time, pressed close to Kurt and achingly hard against the other boy’s hip. Behind him, his phone was buzzing with the alarm. He was glad he could wake up to just that, but Kurt seemed to be a different story. As he reached to turn it off, Sebastian felt Kurt snuggle deeper into his arms, which certainly didn’t help with hos situation.
Sebastian sighed as he brought his arms back down, the room now silent. His half-awake brain reminded him that he could coax Kurt into a frenzy while he was asleep and just explain it away as an accident of hormones. But he still had an ounce of honor he wasn’t going to force Kurt into anything he didn’t want, no matter how stupid the situation was.
Sebastian was starting to fall back into an easy sleep when the sound of claxon bells startled him wide awake. What the hell—
Kurt moved away from him, sleepily climbing out of bed to turn off the alarm that sat on the other side of the room. Kurt stretched and took a deep breath, suddenly wide awake. He turned back to Sebastian who was still pouting under the covers.
“You’d better hurry up. I refuse to be late; you never know what Santana will say about that.”
Sebastian groaned and sank back into the covers.
Kurt pulled his Navigator into the school lot and glanced surreptitiously at Sebastian. The boy hadn’t spoken since Kurt shot him down last night, but that may have been because of the early hour. He did not seem like a sociable person in the morning, and silence was still better than insults.
Sebastian slid out of the vehicle, and Kurt almost laughed at the scorn on his face. He had forgotten that his husband went to a private school before. He wondered how he would fare in public school. How long would it take for the jocks to find him and what kind of slushie would he get first? Kurt betted on fourth period and grape. Give them some time to find him, and the slushie that stained the worst. If he wasn’t so familiar with how terrible it was, he would almost want to watch it happen.
He said, “Do you want me to walk you to your classes?” Because he was a kind and magnanimous person; well at least because he felt a little bad for Sebastian. It wasn’t because he’d forgiven the other boy yet.
Sebastian shrugged, still not awake even after the large cup of coffee he’d drained on their way to school. “No, I’ll get a map from the office. You can tell me where that is though.”
Kurt pointed to the left. “Over there. It’s pretty hard to miss.”
Sebastian nodded and started off, with a little wave back at Kurt.
Kurt watched him for a moment longer, and then headed towards his own locker. Sebastian was a big boy and public school wasn’t that bad. He would be fine.
Sebastian went through three classes before he ran into trouble. Besides the obvious subpar level of intelligence in his classes (seriously, did the entire school population share a single brain cell?) there was little to note about the school save for the complex hierarchy that seemed to be in place. It would have been less confusing if Kurt had been around to explain it, but he couldn’t deal with Kurt now. He was at a loss for how to deal with him. Was he supposed to fall in love with him and open doors and pull out chairs? Not a chance in hell. He wasn’t that kind of guy. But Kurt obviously didn’t like Sebastian’s teasing, which had worked at the center before. Was it because he was around his father? And he’d completely shut him down when it came to sex. If he didn’t have teasing and sex to put Kurt in a good mood then what the hell was he going to do?
Unfortunately, he was pulled from his thoughts in a cold, violent purple shower. Sebastian stood in shock in the middle of the hallway. What the hell just happened?
“There you go rebel! Welcome to McKinley! Come back to the right side and things might get a little warmer!” A loud guffaw followed. “And a little dryer!”
Sebastian watched the jocks leave, as he started to shiver. “What the fuck just happened?”
“That was a slushie.” A voice called out from behind his called out. Two girls were walking towards him, slowly to avoid slipping in the mess. He recognized them both from the party, one the devil woman he had some respect for and the other the petite Asian girl he thought was permanently attached to the other Asian in the crowd. It was almost shocking to see her on her own.
“A slushie? Like the drink? What the hell is wrong with this school?”
The devil woman laughed and brushed dust off of her cheerleading uniform. “There are a great many things wrong here.”
The Asian girl moved forward and grabbed his arm. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. Did you bring spare clothes?”
Sebastian briefly remembered Kurt asking him something like that this morning, so he wasn’t sure how he’d answered. “I don’t think so.”
“Ok, you’ll just have to wear this; we’ll try to dry it off.” She pulled him into the woman’s restroom, and Sebastian almost thought to stop her. He might be gay, but he certainly still had a dick. But she was helping him, and it certainly wouldn’t do to argue with her. “I’m Tina, by the way. Do you remember me?”
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, but I forgot your names.”
The devil woman grinned. “Do you remember my name?”
“No, but I remember that you’ll make a martini out of my balls if I ever go near that blonde chick again.” He didn’t mention how much he admired her for that comment alone.
“Good. I’m glad that I left the right impression. I’m Santana.”
“Right.” Sebastian didn’t say anything else as he sat in the chair they gave him (why the hell did girls need a chair in the bathroom? Were they nursing?) and tilted his head back into the sink. The water felt nice and warm, and Tina was good with her hands. She must have had a lot of practice doing this, and Sebastian felt a streak of pity that such a sweet girl should have such experience.
She spoke, muttering to herself. “I’m surprised that Kurt didn’t warn you about his. He gets hit pretty often and by marrying him, you’re pretty much assured to be a target.”
Sebastian shrugged, eyes closed. “He’s pissed off at me, so I don’t really blame him. I think I would have done worse actually, maybe joined in and bought my own slushie if I was mad enough.”
Santana stripped him of his shirt and stretched it over the dryer, tapping it on. “What did you do to Saint Hummel? It takes a lot to make him really mean. But watch out if you do.”
Sebastian hesitated, and then spilled, telling them about the whole weekend. He wouldn’t normally be this open, but he didn’t have a clue what to do. These girls seemed nice (or at least not out to get him at the moment in Santana’s case) and he had a healthy amount of respect for the Latina girl’s sadistic mind.
Santana laughed when he finished telling them. Tina smiled pityingly at him and moved to dry his hair. When she had herself under control, Santana moved towards him, sitting on his lap and patting his chest. Sebastian smirked at her but didn’t move. It was nice have to someone want to be close to him when they were awake.
“Ok, you made several mistakes. First of all, you do not joke around with Kurt’s dad. He pretty much means the world to Kurt and it goes both ways. Burt would probably kill you for looking at his son the wrong way and I think only the law is keeping you alive right now. He’s like a bear with a shot gun, so you need to be careful. So don’t mess around with them.” She took a breath and continued, ticking the items off on her hand. “Second, when Kurt is pissed, it’s best to either leave him alone or pamper the fuck out of him. He’s one of those sickeningly romantic types. So he most likely wants an actual apology.”
“I’m not good at those.”
Tina cut in. “And don’t pressure him into sex. He’s pretty shy about it, so it scares him either way. If he feels like you don’t like him or you don’t respect him, he’ll definitely not want it.”
Santana stood, continuing from where Tina left off. “You have two options. Either you woo him by being nice and apologizing.”
“Again, not my strong suit.”
“Or,” her eyes glittered as she spoke. “You can appeal to the sex kitten hiding inside of him”
Tina gasped. “Kurt is not a sex kitten!” Her blush spread across her face, and probably down below the ruffled black lace at her collar.
Santana laughed. “Tina, have you seen him dance in any of our hip hop numbers? That boy knows how to grind better than any virgin should. Trust me,” she said to Sebastian. “He’s got a sex drive as powerful as any of us, and if you know how, you could unleash it.”
Sebastian grinned and stood, taking his shirt from the dryer. It was still a little damp, but the color was dark enough that the purple wouldn’t show. “Sounds like my kind of plan. And what do you mean hip hop numbers? Is there a choir here?”
Tina nodded and tossed out the paper towels. “Yeah, we meet each week. It’s a show choir actually. We just won sectionals and we have regionals coming up soon. Why do you ask?”
Sebastian grinned at her as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I was in my own show choir at Dalton. Think I can get into this one?”
Shrugging, Santana spoke. “If you can convince Rachel the Shrill to admit that we need voices outside of her and Finn the Green Giant then you might have a shot. That is, if you can sing.”
“I was captain of the Dalton team.”
“How did they do in competitions?”
Sebastian rubbed the back of his head. “Actually, we weren’t allowed to complete. We were barely allowed to form as a club.”
Tina asked, “Why?”
“Because the old group disappeared almost two years ago. They even took the name, the Warblers.” We’ve been trying to agree on a new name ever since we started.”
Santana nodded her head. “Well, at least Berry can’t accuse you of spying from another group. Now you just have to convince them you can sing.”
Sebastian grinned, fully confident for the first time that day. “I think I can handle that.”
Kurt rubbed his shoulder carefully as he entered Glee club. The jocks who were at his wedding had been especially ruthless, in obvious retaliation for the open marriage. He’d been shoved into his locker after each period and at lunch he’d been forced to change clothes after a particularly nasty mix of three different kinds of slushie had been tossed his way. He wondered how Sebastian fared, and regretted how he refused to tell him about the slushie war that dominated the school. But that would have required that they speak, and Kurt didn’t think they were doing that yet. He supposed they would have to talk soon; they needed to go grocery shopping after school, and Kurt was determined to do it as civilly as possible. Their kitchen was tiny, so they would have to cook dinner together if they wanted to eat at all.
But for now he pushed it from his mind. Kurt had the keys to the vehicle, so his husband would simply have to wait until after Glee club to get home. Or he could walk home for all he cared. Kurt glanced around the room and stopped. Sebastian was there, huddled with Santana and Tina. His hair was a wreck compared to this morning, a ruffled mess that Kurt desperately wanted to fix (and with a comb, not with his fingers, even as his traitorous hand started to twitch). There was a smudge of purple on his neck, and Kurt was sure that he’d been hit.
But that still didn’t tell him why he was here. Glee club was supposed to be his safe haven from the things he hated, the people who hated him. Although, he wondered how much it really mattered. Kurt was never going to leave Ohio, so why should he even bother pretending that any of it really mattered?
His friends were traitors. Not only because of how close Sebastian seemed to be with Santana and Tina, but because there was only one open seat, right next to him. Did they think that he really wanted to be next to him, someone he’d been forced to sleep with? It was just great; now he’d have to deal with him in every part of his life.
Kurt shrugged his bag higher and then stepped in. he wasn’t about to let Sebastian ruin everything about his life. He went at sat next to the other boy. He said nothing, unsure if they were talking yet, but he certainly wasn’t going to be the first one to start it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mercedes frowning at him and looking pointed between the two of them. He hadn’t said anything at lunch about his marriage, staying neutral about the whole thing. He’d been mortified when Rachel demanded that he tell her all about sex, which thankfully saved him from telling his friends about the tragedy his life was slowly becoming. (He was still a little lost on why Rachel deeply needed to know how the mechanics of gay sex worked, but she insisted it was for her artistic development.)
Sebastian turned to his husband and watched him for a second, as a sly grin grew on his face. He asked, “So why do your peers insist on slushies? It was quite a culture shock. Tell me, do all public schools engage in such barbarian rituals? And where do you fit in among all of them?”
Kurt refused to look at him, and let him see the shame on his face at how cruel he’d been. Instead, he responded casually, “Oh well, the school thinks that it’s great fun to watch the brainless jocks beat up on poor defenseless little rats. It’s their version of pest control. I’m sorry they found you so quickly. I thought it would take those dumb beasts at least a day to figure out your true nature, that you’re a manipulative little ro—“
“Okay, everyone! Let’s get started!” Kurt was upset that Mr. Shuester had interrupted a perfect insult, but he supposed it was for the best. They did still have to go shopping.
The teacher continued, oblivious to the new student, and wrote ‘Dreams’ in a messy scrawl on the whiteboard. Kurt glanced at the clock and gave the teacher four minutes before he noticed Sebastian.
“Everyone tell me about the last dream you had!”
Rachel spoke first, “I was on Broadway, obviously, performing—“
Santana cut her off. “An all-girls fight to the death over water.”
“Climbing a ladder to the moon,” said Artie.
“I was holding a baby,” Sam said quietly, as he glanced shyly at Mercedes. Kurt raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. It looked like he wasn’t going to be the only one spilling news when they finally talked.
Sebastian spoke up. “I was trapped in a gold cage, but I don’t think I was too mad about it.”
Mr. Shuester pointed at him in excitement. “Yes, we all have such great, powerful dreams, and so strange—“ He stopped and glanced back at Sebastian. “Wait, who are you?”
Kurt sighed. Three and a half minutes. He was barely under the time, but it still was sad. “He’s my husband, Sebastian, but I don’t know what he’s doing here. I think he’s stalking me.”
“Aw, baby, that would require you to be appealing in any way.” Sebastian grinned at him, until he felt Santana kick the back of his chair. Damn it, he was supposed to keep himself in check if he wanted any sort of action. This was going to be harder than he thought. He turned back to the teacher. “I was part of my show choir at Dalton. I just hope this makes up for it in some small way,” he said. “It used to kill a lot of my time, and I don’t want to get bored with the lackluster education I’m going to get in this poor excuse for a school.”
Mike called out from the back, “Why so much time?”
Sebastian shrugged. “We were just starting. There was a lot to do before we started competing.”
“Like spy on your competition?” Rachel sneered.
Kurt spun around to give her his full bitch face. “Did you wipe my entire wedding from your memory Rachel? You know he didn’t have a choice in this.”
“He could still be sending back information.”
Sebastian laughed. “Yes, I’ll tell them that the secret to winning is to find the loudest, most annoying midget in the world and allow it to scare off any new members. Perfect plan.”
“He has a point Rachel,” Mr. Shuester said. “We do need new members and you haven’t heard him sing. Maybe he’s amazing. Kurt?”
Kurt glanced up at the sound of his name. “What?”
“Can Sebastian sing?”
Kurt shrugged. “I don’t know. Let him sing if he can.”
The teacher, along with the rest of the club, nodded. “Well, do you mind giving us a taste?”
Sebastian smirked, then looked pointedly at Kurt. “Oh, I can give you a hell of a lot more than a taste. You’ll be fully satisfied.” There. Kurt was blushing deeply; it was almost more satisfying than making him flush with anger. It certainly looked better on him than pure rage at Sebastian.
He stepped forward, and spoke to the band, before grabbing the microphone.
“When she was three…” he started, full and clean. He sang with a bit of mischief in his eyes, but he was a full performer, hitting each note and every line. He laughed with the song, coaxing everyone along as well, until he had the whole room singing back up to him. Kurt refused to sing, but he still couldn’t take his eyes off of Sebastian. He’d seen sullen, spiteful, tired, and even drunk with lust on the other boy, but he’d never seen joyful on him. And God, did it look good. He was bright and full, and if he hadn’t spent the whole weekend either laughing or leering at Kurt, he would have been tempted to join them. But he held back, remembering the cruel words from the past two days.
Sebastian finished the song with a flourish, then bowed low and smooth. He rose and winked at the group, refusing to look at Kurt, who ignored it with a haughty tilt to his head and clapped politely with the group.
“Well done!” Mr. Schue stepped forward and clapped his hand on the teenager’s back. “I think we all agree, welcome to New Directions, Sebastian!”
Sebastian smiled, but ducked out from under his grip swiftly. Kurt didn’t blame him, while the teacher cared deeply for his students, he had a strange issue with personal space. He had to stop himself from patting his husband’s arm in sympathy as he sat back down.
“So, as I was saying, we all have really great dreams! So why not sing about them?” The teacher seemed so happy about the idea, and Kurt wondered if he really had cracked his head. Or maybe he took a few of his wife’s happy pills, and was now too far gone to understand that he was being insanely silly. “This week I want you to find a song about dreaming, and I don’t mean a lullaby or a song about your dreams. A serious song about dreams.”
After the club, Sebastian leaned against the wall, as Kurt said goodbye to his friends. The club was ridiculous; hadn’t Santana told him they were getting ready for Regionals? He would have expected an actual rehearsal, maybe talking about what songs to use, instead of an hour debating food dreams versus animal dreams. It was silly, to say the least.
Still, he hadn’t said anything after his song. He was still thinking about what the she-devil had said to him. She obviously wanted him to get along with Kurt, for whatever twisted reason that it served. But he wasn’t so sure that he wanted to be close to Kurt. Sure, sleeping together, living and eating together, but to become… friends? Or maybe more, as romancing him implied? Wasn’t that just giving into the system, letting them choose who he loved?
Kurt finished his conversation, and walked towards him, digging his keys out of his bag. Sebastian straightened and looked down the length of him while he was still preoccupied. Kurt was shrewder than Sebastian had expected; he was still sticky from the slushie, and that had only come from benign neglect. He hated to think of what Kurt could do if he was actually trying to hurt Sebastian. It was time to start thinking about working with him, at least to make things more manageable. He didn’t say anything, but followed him out.
They didn’t speak until Sebastian was grabbing a cart into the store, with the endless maze of shelves before them.
Kurt spoke first, “Can you cook at all?”
Sebastian jumped at the sound of his voice, but still answered quickly. “I can cook simple meals like pasta and chicken and things like that. But baking is hell and my soups always taste funny.”
“How do you mess up soup?” Kurt spared a glance over at him, incredulous.
“I don’t know what spices go with which vegetables and meat. So it always tastes bizarre.”
Kurt nodded and moved forward. “Let’s just go down the aisles, and pick up what we need. We’ll get the basics and enough for a few meals. We can always shop later if we need to. What do you eat for breakfast?”
So it continued. Sebastian was shocked at how much he learned about Kurt through what he ate. How he obviously cared about nutrients and vitamins, by how he only bought fresh vegetables. He learned that Kurt didn’t always make complicated breakfasts, except on the weekends when he had the time to relax and enjoy it. He learned that Kurt usually cooked for his father, by how he automatically grabbed enough food for two people, and how he cared about saving money, when he grabbed the cheap store brand over the name brands. He’d expected him to be as picky about labels with food as he was with his clothes, but Kurt was nothing if not surprising.
Sebastian was sure that Kurt was learning a lot about him as well. He seemed shocked when Sebastian pulled him over to the liquor section for a bottle of real Irish crème for his coffee. He knew that Sebastian liked a cup of tea before he went to bed, and that he didn’t really care for snack foods. He learned that they needed a lot of coffee for the morning, because Sebastian could go three four cups in one day before his eyes were fully open, but he would only eat toast and bananas for breakfast. Sebastian was uncomfortable with how much he shared; he’d never realized how intimate it could be, knowing another person’s relationship to food.
He was harried by the end of the trip, worn out from talking so much, being so personal. They paid quietly, showing their marriage licenses to take the credit and loaded the vehicle. Sebastian wondered if Kurt felt as stripped raw as he did.
The rest of the evening passed quickly, but silently, for Kurt. There was a miner moment when he asked Sebastian to help clean out the kitchen (her certainly wasn’t going to put his food on a dirty shelf) but he offered to make dinner in exchange for his anal retentive obsession with cleaning. (Sebastian’s words; there was nothing wrong with it.) They cleaned, cooked dinner, and ate in silence. Sebastian read a book while Kurt struggled through his science homework. Sebastian would glance up every now and then, and call out the correct answer, effectively pissing off Kurt. Kurt would glare at him, but still jot down the correct answer. It was almost peaceful, if not for the oppressing silence that hung over them both.
Sebastian lay in bed, facing the wall, just as he had the night before his wedding. He could hear Kurt slowly turning the pages of his book, and the occasional clink of his glass being set down. If he closed his eyes, he could almost remember the scent of Dalton, but it was overwhelmed by the smell of his new bed. They still hadn’t washed the sheets since they had sex. Not that they had made much of a mess, but the scent was still there, taking over his senses. He could smell himself slightly, but he was overpowered by the presence of Kurt in the bed, behind him, surrounding him in the sheets and the only sound in his ears.
And he still couldn’t touch him.
It had only been two days since he slept with his husband, but he was already aching for it. He blamed his hormones, but really he just wanted someone close to him. He didn’t know if Kurt had the same hunger for closeness, but he certainly had the same situation. He saw it perfectly in the club. No one touched him, preferring to be a few feet away from him at all times, gesturing around him instead of daring to graze his skin. In Paris, no one had openly come near Sebastian, only touching him in the cover of darkness. He still craved a real touch, just someone to hold him, lean against him in the middle of the hallway, wrap their arms around him, and take his hand when he was lonely.
He blinked as the light clicked off, and he felt Kurt shuffle down for the night, just close enough for Sebastian to feel his warmth. For all his anger at Sebastian, Kurt never was shy about sharing such a tiny bed with him. He always ended up cuddled close, and hadn’t complained when he woke up trapped in his husband’s arms. Sebastian didn’t dare move closer tonight, but tomorrow he certainly would. Tomorrow, Sebastian was going to take that bet that his husband craved touch as much as he did.
Tomorrow, Sebastian was going to seduce Kurt.
Kurt woke up to Sebastian lying on top of him, hard as a rock. He had gotten over how close they moved when they slept; too many years of waking up spooning with Rachel and Mercedes told him he was a cuddler when he slept. But he’d never woken up to someone’s muffled groaning in their sleep, a gentle shifting of his husband’s hips into his, and a heavy warmth that infused heat into Kurt’s bones, and swiftly woke him up. He swallowed but refused to move. He was much stronger than the need to tug Sebastian’s hips forward, and grind against him until they both got off.
A loud buzzing near his ear startled him, making Kurt jump and then bite his lip at the extra friction it caused. Sebastian groaned and pulled his arm from where it was tucked around Kurt. He flipped off his phone. Kurt blinked as Sebastian slowly opened his eyes, and shifted his hips, testing the motion. Kurt bit his lip to keep in the groan that wanted to rip through him, but it was still too early to keep his body from responding, spreading his legs just enough for Sebastian to slide between them. His husband shifted forward again, forcing another wave of desire through Kurt, and then jerked back. He crawled out of bed, and was gone from the room.
Kurt was breathless and cold, but still aching for any kind of relief. Damnit, he had to calm down; he wasn’t about to change his stance just because he was a teenage boy. Think of the insults, he told himself. Think of the purple shade his father turned at Sebastian’s comments. Kurt swallowed, finally calm enough to ignore just how hard he still was.
In the shower, Sebastian bit his lip and fucked into his hand. This was going to be tougher than he though, teasing Kurt until he gave in. He would have to hold himself back at the same time, just as much as Kurt would be. He clamped his hand over his mouth as he came, fleeting images of Kurt pinning him down, sucking bruises into his skin, and fucking him hard pushing him through the pleasure.
Kurt plopped ungracefully down at the lunch table. He was fully aware that his shirt was being slowly pulled from his pants, and with each step he could feel his hair start to shake out of place. But frankly he didn’t care.
“What the hell happened to you?” Mercedes asked, obviously started at his rumpled appearance. The only one at the table, she was idly twisting her ring, and sipping from a can of soda.
Kurt gave a sigh and shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about his morning. He would rather die than tell about how glad he was just to be away from his husband.
Sebastian had been glued to him since he left the shower before school. It wasn’t open touching, just a graze here and there, pressing against him in the kitchen to grab a mug for his coffee, ‘tripping’ while getting into the car only to land with his head against Kurt’s lap. Sebastian had conveniently forgotten where his locker was, and spend five minutes kneeling at Kurt’s feet while groaning about a lock paper in his bag. He’d dropped a pencil in their math class, and bent over to grab it. Kurt had been forced to answer a question with his husband’s hand grazing the inside of his thigh, just centimeters away from Kurt’s highly interested cock.
The worst part was that Sebastian acted like he didn’t have a clue about what he was doing. Kurt was certain that either Sebastian had accidently detached his brain at some point during the night, or he was fucking with Kurt in the worst way. Kurt refused to admit that his actions made his want his husband to fuck with him in all the right ways.
So at lunch, he was simply happy to be with his friends and not with some French sexual deviant intent on ruining his entire life.
“There’s nothing going on, I’ve just had a bad day.” He tucked his shirt back into his pants and tried to straighten his hair with his fingers.
“Boy, I’ve seen you look better after four slushies and a dumpster toss. Tell me what’s going on or I’m going to ask your husband what he knows.”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Then tell me.” Mercedes looked sweet, but she certainly was ruthless when she needed to be.
Kurt pressed his lips together, and said instead, “Why don’t you tell me why Sam’s dreaming about children?”
“Cause I missed a period and I’m getting a test tomorrow.” She flushed at the admission. “Don’t you dare flip out.”
“Please, I would never be that graceless in public.” But he felt a whorl of anticipation at the thought. He always knew that his friends would start having children soon; they all did at the end of high school. But he wasn’t sure he wanted Mercedes to be the first one. It was a little too much to think of her with kids when she was so much more talented than settling down right away.
“Says the guy with hair like a crazy person.” She winked at him. “But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you’re issues right now.”
Kurt sighed and slumped forward. “Fine. You know how Sebastian is kind of an asshole?”
“Not really, but I believe you.”
“Well, he embarrassed me in front of my father, and then treated me like crap, so now I’m not sleeping with him.”
She blinked. “Wait, are you allowed to say no? I know we’ll get fined if Sam and I aren’t trying to get pregnant.”
Shrugging, Kurt said, “They check for us after the first night, and it’s not like they could do a pregnancy test on me.”
Mercedes laughed. “No, but that would be hilarious, you all bloated and grumpy. How would you fit in your McQueen then?”
“No idea.” Kurt shuddered at the thought. “So I’m not sleeping with him and now he’s determined to annoy me to death.”
A tray landed across the table. “Annoy you how Kewpie?” Santana dropped into a seat.
Glaring, Kurt answered, “None of your business. Besides, you’ve been consorting with the enemy.”
“I don’t know what your plan is, but helping Sebastian will earn you no favors from me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Dresden Doll. So how he been annoying you? Has he been trying to hit it at school?”
“I think he’s been trying to show me how sexy he is. Which only confirms my theory that he lost part of his brain on the flight from Paris.”
“No baby, I didn’t lose anything when I came here.” Sebastian slid into the seat next to him, sitting much closer than he had to. Kurt bit back a groan of frustration when he felt the hard muscle of his husband’s thigh pressed against his. “The only thing I lost is my virginity, and if I want to find that I only have to look for you, baby.”
Mercedes snickered, while Santana gave a full belly laugh. Kurt flicked the girl next to him, and tried to ignore the comment. He muttered, “What in the world are you doing here?”
Sebastian shrugged. “Well, I’d sit elsewhere, but your school just might be the ninth level of hell, and at least here, I can you to entertain me.” He leaned in closer, pretending to grab a napkin, while whispering in Kurt’s ear. “And baby, I know you could think of the perfect way to entertain me.”
Kurt swallowed and held back his full body shiver. Fuck, he was not going to give in like this. He glance dup to see Santana smiling benignly at him. That witch, she put him up to this. He mouthed, ‘You’re dead,’ at her, only to have her roll her eyes and make a blow job gesture. Kurt refused to look at her for the rest of lunch. In fact, he refused to pay attention to anything for the rest of the meal. He ignored the looks Mercedes gave him, and the high pitched squeal when Rachel saw them cuddled to close together. He ignored how Sam and Puck begrudgingly accepted Sebastian into their gaming circle when he proved how much he knew about the latest games. And he certainly didn’t pay attention to the way that Sebastian wrapped his foot around Kurt’s, or how he would say something low and sensual in his ear whenever he could.
The only moment when his guard dropped, was when Sebastian dropped his book behind Kurt, and reached back to get it. His hand pressed into Kurt’s lap for balance, perfectly centered for a delicious pressure on Kurt’s cock. He was sure that Sebastian could feel how warm he was, but what did he expect? For Kurt to grab him and screw him at the table? Rachel would certainly enjoy the show, but the rest of the school wouldn’t be happy. When Sebastian rose back up, book in hand, his palm lingered there, simply feeling him now. Sebastian’s eyes were dark and heavy with lust, and Kurt knew that if he said the word, they would be out of there and screwing in minutes.
Kurt shoved his hand off and stood. He muttered a quick good bye to his friends, hoping that they wouldn’t notice just why he was leaving so soon.
Sebastian’s eyes followed him on the way out. Damn, he had been so close. What had made Kurt so stubborn in his life? Well, refusing to give into the system for so long must have done something for that. But why the hell wouldn’t he just give in? Sex was the only thing that made this bearable, so why wasn’t Kurt falling over himself to get in bed?
Sebastian turned back to the table and took a bite of his food, listening to the people around him. They were Kurt’s friends, and certainly not worth his time, but who knew how long he would be stuck in this town. At Dalton, he didn’t have anyone he could talk to, and here, it seemed like Kurt was his only option. He was never good at making friends, partners yes, but never anyone he could actually get along with. They all got fed up with him eventually, taking his carefree attitude too far, and never willing to just enjoy themselves with him. Eventually, everyone ran away, or was taken away by the system, so there was no one he could speak to. But did he really want into Kurt’s tight circle of friends?
He thought back to when Kurt was under his hand, hot and pulsing, as Kurt’s face flushed that perfect shade of red. There was someone that Sebastian wanted to get to know better, in every sense. God, he felt how much Kurt wanted it. So why couldn’t Sebastian have him yet?
Kurt glanced down at himself, willing it to go away. He was hard again, this time standing in his nightly shower. Sebastian hadn’t left him alone for the rest of the day, using their passing periods to brush against Kurt’s ass, and in French class, he had used their free speech time to write sonnets about Kurt’s skin and body. The teacher had blushed when she heard it, but hadn’t said a word. Married couples got much more leeway when it came to public affection, a fact that Kurt was cursing. Sebastian had sat next to him in glee, running his fingers over his legs every now and then. After school, he hadn’t stopped, tangling their feet together while they did their homework together on the tiny table, and sucking lewdly on his pen. At dinner, Sebastian had moaned around his spoon about how good Kurt’s soup and salad combo was. Kurt had purposely picked something that wasn’t sexy to eat, but somehow Sebastian managed to make piling green leaves into his mouth look sensual.
Kurt hated him for it.
The final straw had been when Kurt was putting the last of the dished away, and Sebastian had pressed up against him from behind, his obviously hard cock pushed against his ass. He was supposedly just getting a cup for his tea, but he added a low murmur in Kurt’s ear. “You can give in any time. We both know you want this. Why not just let me give you pleasure?”
Kurt had bucked back, making his husband hiss at the added pressure, but he still stepped back. Kurt said, “Well, as soon as you apologize for treating me like crap, then you might get something.” He huffed, flicked off the light and went into the bathroom to shower.
Now he was just angry, at Sebastian for being a pretentious ass, and at himself for not being able to control his body. The longer Kurt thought about it, the more he wanted Sebastian. God, he wanted to head out of the bathroom, still dripping wet and show him just who was in control of the situation. Fuck he wanted to pin that smirking bastard to the bed, show him just how ‘girly’ Kurt could be, fucking Sebastian hard and brutal, making him bend to Kurt’s will.
Kurt bit his lip, and slid his hand down, grasping his cock firmly. He glanced at the door; he’d already been in the bathroom for a while. If he was going to do this, he certainly wasn’t going to let Sebastian suspect it. He’d have to be quick and quiet.
He slid his hand up to gently rub at the tip, making sure that there was enough water and pre-come on him to make it easier. He spread his legs for leverage, and braced his other hand on the wall for balance. He bit his lip to stay silent, and began.
Kurt jerked his hand fast and brutal, allowing his mind to fill with images of Sebastian, in the nude, spread out before him like an offering. Sebastian bent over the edge of their bed, at the mercy of Kurt’s desire and begging for any scrap from him. Fuck, his hand tightened, as he struggled to stay silent, overwhelming himself with the memory of Sebastian panting above him, filling him. Kurt panted harshly himself, and came apart; glad his legs were braced against the onslaught of pleasure. He bit hard enough on his lip to draw a few drops of blood, and slumped down. He caught his breath, as he watched the water and semen swirling down the drain.
He was glad that he did this here. His mind was clearer now, seeing what a mistake it would have been to try to sleep with Sebastian when he was so angry at him. He didn’t think he would be able to look at sex with him the same way, if it only meant anger like that. He had promised his father and himself that he would try to make this work; ruining any future sex with Sebastian wasn’t the way to go. A good fantasy, but not what he wanted out of this.
After a moment, Kurt turned off the water and stepped out, reaching for his towel. He was calm and collected again, in control of himself and not a slave to his sex drive. As he patted his hair dry, Kurt glanced around the room don his pajamas. The ones he didn’t have because he stormed into the bathroom without grabbing them first. Gulping, Kurt slowly moved to tighten the towel around his waist. He certainly wasn’t going to put on his dirty outfit, He took a breath. Sebastian had already seen him naked, so he would simply have to get over it. It would be the perfect taste of his medicine as well.
Kurt stepped out into the dark kitchen and then into the bedroom. He shivered; the air was much cooler out here than in the steamy bathroom, but the sooner he found his pajamas, the sooner he could bundle into bed and get warm.
Only the light above his bed was on, showing Sebastian resting against the wall, sipping his tea. They boy’s eyes widened at the sight, then settled into his special smirk.
“Going to give me a show baby? I thought you were being stubborn tonight.”
Kurt blushed but did not look back at him. Instead he pulled his clothes from the closet. He steadied himself, and dropped the towel. Sebastian gave a heavy groan.
“God baby, the things I could do to you.” Kurt only slipped his briefs on, followed by his pants. Just as quickly, he pulled the shirt over his head and breathed a sigh of relief. There. Done. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again. He picked up his towel from the floor and went to hang it and grab his water.
Sebastian smiled at the swift exit. God, that had been beautiful, Kurt’s skin, so soft, illuminated by the gentle light, and still a little damp from his shower. His face had been flushed and his lips swollen as if from kissing for hours. Most likely from biting his lip, and Sebastian was sure that is was due to a certain helping hand. And if that visual hadn’t been enough to drive him crazy, there was that perfect ass presented to him, just to make his lose his mind.
Sebastian didn’t say anything as Kurt climbed up into the bed. He just leaned over to set down his cup, pressing close and getting a whiff of his clean skin, before rolling over to sleep. He was getting closer.
Kurt sighed as he slid his license into the lock of their apartment. God, he was hungry. The day had passed the same as before, with Sebastian’s lingering touches and heady glances across the choir room during the other members’ songs. He had finally grown immune to Sebastian’s lusty comments during French class, and he had managed to surround himself with his friends at lunch to keep any wandering hands from reaching him.
After school, he went for coffee with Rachel, who wanted his opinion for wedding dresses for her; Kurt reluctantly passed over the keys to his baby to Sebastian and moved towards Rachel’s car.
Sebastian had called out, “Hey, don’t eat anything! We have too much food in the house. If it all spoils I’m just going to eat you for dinner.”
Kurt responded by slamming the door shut.
Sebastian had been right of course. They did have a lot of food, and the fresh vegetables were going to go bad if he didn’t eat them soon. Plus, he wanted a real meal, not some butter laden pastry from the shop. But now it was 7:30, and he still hadn’t eaten anything but coffee, and he just wasn’t looking forward to making an entire meal for him and his husband.
He pushed open the door and bent to slide his boots off. Wait—what was that?
Sebastian’s head peaked out from in front of the stove, almost hitting Kurt in the process; really the apartment was way too small. “Well, if that isn’t a nice sight, you on your knees in front of me.” Kurt glared up at him, and saw him wearing a dark blue apron and a lecherous smirk. Sebastian continued to speak. “I thought you’d never get back. Dinner’s been ready for twenty minutes.”
Kurt blinked. “You made dinner?”
“Yeah.” His husband rolled his eyes. “I told you I could cook.”
“You said you could ruin soup, so I wasn’t about to trust you with anything else.” Kurt slowly stood and moved to peer at the stove. There was a pot of creamy risotto, a salad to the side and baked chicken keeping warm. It looked delicious.
“Yes, but I can make a decent chicken breast.” Sebastian moved to grab two plates, leaving himself wide open. Kurt couldn’t help his next words.
“Do you do anything else with breasts?”
Sebastian stopped, obviously biting back a laugh, and set down the plates. He turned to look Kurt in the eye. “No, I prefer the breasts I touch to all be dead. Now pecs…” he continued with a little lick of his lips. “I can do some glorious things to some pecs.” He moved closer, pinning Kurt to the door to the bathroom, and running his hands over his chest.
Kurt breathed slow and steady, willing himself not to get excited, The hands on his chest felt nice, god, they felt good. He was saved by a low rumble in his stomach. He pushed forward, pulling Sebastian’s hand from him. “I thought you made me dinner?”
Sebastian just looked at him, low and heavy. “I thought you knew that I would have you instead?”
Kurt blushed. “But what am I going to eat? No.” He pushed Sebastian back. “Don’t answer that. Just get me dinner.”
Sebastian smiled at Kurt, a sincere one that shook Kurt to the very bone, and turned back to the plates.
Dinner passed by swiftly, which shocked Sebastian. They were actually talking, about mindless things, like the idiocy of glee, how things worked at McKinley, and any other topics that came up, but they were talking nonetheless. It was almost scary how well they were getting along and he didn’t want to admit that most of it was because he was simply having a good time. Still, Sebastian was sure to fill the conversation with innuendos whenever he could, to keep Kurt interested in him. He would lewdly suck the creamy rice off of his spoon, or tell Kurt about how good he looked with his lips puckered around the fork in his mouth.
Dessert came just as quickly. Kurt moved to start to clean up the dished, but Sebastian just pushed him back into his seat to wait. Setting a bowl of chocolate ice cream and strawberries in front of him, Sebastian said, “I wasn’t about to try and make an actual dessert.”
Kurt smiled up at him as he grabbed the spoon. “Good, because I would have actually judged you for that.” He slid his spoon into his mouth, letting his lips curl around a strawberry.
Sebastian stared. There was a bit of chocolate caught on the bottom Kurt’s lip, making it shiny and simply delectable. The way his mouth had rounded around the berry, and his cheeks had hollowed when he sucked it in did terrible things to Sebastian. God, he was glad that he had changed into his pajama pants earlier. But he certainly wouldn’t be able to get up from the table anytime soon, unless he wanted Kurt to know exactly how much he affected him. And wasn’t that the point? Well, the point was to make Kurt want him too, but when he was there, looking so delicious, Sebastian couldn’t help but want him more than he should.
This wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to have such a desire for his husband. They were supposed to screw, and then ignore each other. Sebastian wasn’t supposed to want to go out and buy pounds of strawberries, just to watch Kurt’s lips moisten with the juice, and see his lips puff out then crinkle into a smile at the taste.
He wasn’t supposed to want his husband like this.
Sebastian stood abruptly, shoving his last bite of ice cream in his mouth swiftly. As he moved to take his bowl to the sink, a sharp pain split through his head.
Kurt jumped up, to see Sebastian clutching his head. He laughed. “Brain freeze Sebastian?”
Sebastian glared at him, but said nothing.
Stepping in front of him, Kurt said, “Breathe out slowly. Keep it really warm.” He lifted his head to encourage it. “Go on.”
Sebastian continued to glare, but let his head tilt upward. He opened his mouth and let out a long hot breath. The pain slipped away, melting into nothing but a soft tingle.
Kurt patted his cheek, smiling. “Much better, right? Now, give me the dishes and do your homework.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Whatever Mama.” But he still did as he was told, settling into the table with his neglected literature homework. He’d spent the afternoon cooking and was glad to catch up. The last thing he needed was to be an embarrassment to Dalton by failing a test at this miserable school.
As he parsed out sentences, he could hear Kurt in the kitchen cleaning up, then wiping down the counters. It was nice, he supposed. It was certainly better than the screaming that he used to listen to in Paris, his parents fighting over what to do with him next. As he moved onto the next paragraph, Kurt came back in, pulling his pajamas from the closet. He stripped down to just his pants and a tank top with a heated blush painting his skin. But he still didn’t pause, hanging up his clothes and heading to the shower.
It wasn’t until Sebastian was sipping his tea in bed that he realized how close Kurt had gotten to him. He’d had his hands on Kurt for the longest time since they were married. He grinned. Kurt must be wearing down.
As Kurt climbed into bed, Sebastian watched him carefully. Was this the time to try? He’d never know unless he did.
He set his mug down, taking in the lean lines of his husband. He wore shorts tonight, most likely because the bed got insanely warm when they moved together. If it were up to Sebastian, they would just sleep in the nude, never mind any silly clothing between them.
As he slid back to his side, Sebastian let his lips graze across Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt stiffened under his touch, the glass of water poised at his lips. He waited until Kurt had relaxed (albeit with suspicious glances back down at him every now and then). When Kurt had set his water down again, Sebastian moved forward once more, pressing his lips gently into Kurt’s skin. He savored the scent of him, and slipped out his tongue to barely taste his skin, delightfully clean from his shower. He continued making his was up Kurt’s collarbone and neck, tasting each inch of skin along the way.
He had just reached the underside of Kurt’s jaw, giving him a fluttering lick against his pulse point, when a hand landed on his face. The thumb landed on his lip, while the middle finger nearly jammed into his eye. He was roughly pushed away, and couldn’t be held accountable for the loud squawk that followed.
“What the hell Kurt? I thought we were fine!” Sebastian cried as he sat up on the bed. Kurt followed the motion angrily.
“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t seduced by your chicken. What did you think that you could make me dinner, feed me some ice cream and I would fall into your arms and spread my legs for you? Think again!”
“Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? I’m not going to live my life as a monk!”
“How about you apologize for the way you’ve been acting?”
“I’m not about to apologize for being myself! I like to tease, get over it!”
“Then how about you apologize for embarrassing me in front of my father, for insulting him to his face? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was—“ Sebastian flushed, not wanting to admit his weakness.
“Tell me,” Kurt demanded.
Sebastian took a breath. “I don’t like meeting parents. They usually just write me off as a criminal or a whore,” he muttered, not meeting his eyes.
“So you decided to completely disrespect my father because you thought he would do the same to you? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense,” Kurt bit off, but his voice was losing some of the anger.
Sebastian huffed, cheeks red with shame. “I never said it made sense. I just figured he was going to hate me either way.”
“My father is not known for hating people.”
Sebastian was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was low with tension. “Fine. I’m sorry for being rude to your father.” He leaned forward, intent on losing this awful feeling in kisses with Kurt, forgetting how exposed he was.
Kurt pressed back at his shoulder. “Hang on, I’m still mad!”
“What? Why? I apologized!”
“For my father, but not for how you treat me!”
“No way! That’s how I am, I like to tease!”
“And you know what, I do too! I can give it as well as much as you do, but there are certain things you do not get to touch.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Fine princess, what deeply offends you?”
“Well for starters, I don’t like when you call me a girl!” Kurt huffed, crossing his arms. “My whole life people have called me that because I don’t like a lot of sports and I actually know how to color-coordinate.”
“Fine, no more girl comments from me. Then no slut comments from you.”
Kurt was taken back. “What?”
“You said you can give as well as I can. And I don’t like being called a slut.”
Kurt nodded. “Fine, no promiscuous comments.”
“You know if we had it my way, you wouldn’t be able to pronounce that right now.” His sly smirk was slowly starting back up.
“Anyway!” Kurt glared at him. “I don’t like when you insult my family. They mean everything to me.”
“I don’t like when people say I’m spoiled because my parents have money. They obviously haven’t given any of it to me.”
“Ok, I don’t like when you insult my clothes. I work really hard on them.”
Sebastian swallowed, as he absently nodded. He took a breath. “I don’t like when you say I’m a slave to the system. I’ve been fighting against its influence my whole life. I don’t need you to discount that.”
Kurt nodded as well, slowly. “I’m sorry for saying that.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I should have known better.”
“Well, you do now,” Sebastian snapped at him. He sighed and glanced at the clock. “Fuck, it’s late.”
“Yeah,” Kurt agreed. “We should get some sleep.” Sebastian gave his assent and went to lay down, fluffing hid pillow and pulling the sheets over him. Kurt did the same and flicked off the light.
“Sebastian?” Kurt voice floated through the dark.
“I’m still not ready to sleep with you.”
“That’s nice. Good night Kurt.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to sleep with him now, with all his weaknesses showing, no matter how much he wanted Kurt.
“Good night Sebastian.”
As he translated verbs into French, Kurt considered his husband. He was sitting just across the aisle, staring blankly down at his completed worksheet. They had spent the day in silence; even their conversation section in class had been swapped out for a quiz. Kurt supposed that it was the longest Sebastian had gone without saying something to him, either sexual or scathing. Kurt couldn’t help that his husband was on his mind.
Sebastian was beautiful, to begin with, sharp angles and a laughing face that just begged to be put in his place at times. Kurt frequently found himself taking surreptitious glances down as Sebastian fell asleep each night. In the half light, it was like a rabid dog melt into a child, the wolf’s return to himself after the full moon, the demon finally quelled. Kurt liked the sleeping husband he had. When he slept, he was kind, cuddly and warm. He always reached for Kurt, pleading with his fingers to have someone close for the night. Kurt liked to think he was protecting Sebastian from loneliness or fear, when he threaded his fingers through the ones offered to him. He often wondered if his husband knew that there was a whole new side to him that came out to play after the lights went out. He wished that he did, so that he could turn it on, slip off the tough exterior during the day, and simply let himself relax, falling asleep while awake.
At night, Kurt could almost fall in love with Sebastian.
Kurt let his gaze slide to the rest of Sebastian’s body. God, he wanted him, with a desire that he never felt before. Was it because he was allowed to want him? All his life, he’d forced himself to look away, to keep from thinking about any of the men in town, because what was the point? He couldn’t have them; the few times he’d tried to convince someone to change for him had ended viciously. So he’d stopped wanting people in that way. Or had he? Kurt remembered the way that he would touch himself before, imagining strong hands and everything else. But that had been vague, and blurry. The real desire had been the setting, a bedroom with large windows and a sprawling city beyond that full of accepting people, art, love and beauty. The sexual part had been muted and lost in his need to escape Lima.
But now it was all backwards. He had lost the place, but the man was shockingly real. Kurt couldn’t count how many times his mind had wandered back to their first night, mentally cataloguing his husband’s body. God, he wanted to memorize it, every inch, so that he could think of a spot and, piece by piece, put Sebastian together until he was whole in his mind.
Kurt had longed wished that Sebastian would stay silent, so he could appreciate the fine body without having to deal with the attitude that came with it. But now his wish had come true and it unnerved him. He almost wanted Sebastian to say something cruel and sexual, just so Kurt could feel like he was on solid ground again. Not that he had ever been fully sure about his husband before. God, he had only known him for a week.
Kurt wasn’t stupid either. He knew why Sebastian had clammed up. He could see it in his eyes the night before. He pushed too far, demanded a secret too close to his heart. It was too soon in their relationship to be demanding all of their weaknesses, but Kurt couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He knew a little of what made Sebastian tick, and there was a small seed of happiness at that. He could do one thing right by his husband.
They needed to talk, a full conversation, not a half argument in the middle of the night. But he certainly couldn’t do it while they were at school; too many people were watching him closely, and he did not want the whole club knowing more about his marriage than they already did. After school, he would talk to Sebastian, find out just what was going on.
Sebastian hung his head from his shoulders, letting the tension relax completely out of him. He hadn’t slept the night before, and frankly he didn’t want to go through another silent lunch. The day before had been terrible after Kurt left and he would rather be alone than spend the time watching Kurt’s perfect friends show him just how lonely he was. He opted instead to grab a bag of chips and a soda and sit on the hood of Kurt’s Navigator. It would annoy Kurt, but he would just have to get over it.
The sound of pounding feet interrupted him thoughts. Lifting his head, Sebastian saw the blond boy from Kurt’s club heading out of the school lot at a full run.
“Hey!” Sebastian called out. “What’s wrong?” He was loath to get involved in someone’s problems, but he wasn’t about to ignore one of Kurt’s friends. Maybe if he helped him, Kurt wouldn’t think he was a total demon.
The boy spun around, still hopping in a half run. “Huh?”
“I said, what’s wrong?” Sebastian slid off the car and moved toward him.
“I-uh, my wife called. Said they need me at the hospital now.” He still moved backwards, as if he could save time that way.
Sebastian followed him as he reached into his pocket. He could feel Kurt’s keys there, left from driving to school in the morning. “Do you want a ride?”
A smile bloomed on the boy’s face as he stopped and jogged back to Sebastian. “Oh yes please!”
Sebastian smirked, glad he could make one person happy today. He glanced around then hopped in the car. Kurt could yell at him later for taking the vehicle; for now he just wanted to feel like the good guy for a change.
Kurt’s plans for conversation were interrupted by two text messages. The first was from Sebastian, telling him that he took the car. Just as he was about to fire off a very long, violent reply to him stealing his baby, Kurt received the second text, this time from Mercedes.
‘Get Berry and get to my house after school. Seriously need to talk to you, and it’ll be easier if we just tell her right away.’
Kurt frowned. Berating Sebastian would have to wait, and at least he wouldn’t have to worry about stranding him.
For the rest of the day, he couldn’t find Sebastian, only getting the occasional text about how bored he was; what the hell was he doing? Not that it mattered, as Kurt soon found himself pulling into the parking lot of Mercedes’ apartment. Rachel was muttering about missing Glee club, but frankly Kurt didn’t care. She didn’t know about Mercedes’ test, and he wasn’t about to take the pleasure of shocking Rachel away from his friend.
Kurt blinked and peered into the lot. What the hell was his car doing here? Was Sebastian here? He’d better be if he brought Kurt’s Navigator here.
Rachel parked, allowing them both to exit the car and make their way up the steps. The apartments here were much nicer than Kurt and Sebastian’s. How did a couple get the good apartment, clean and new and big enough to breath? Was it by chance? Given that Mercedes was most likely pregnant, and had made no fuss when she got married, Kurt suspected there was more to it than luck.
Rachel didn’t bother knocking on the door; she just swung it open and stepped in. “We’re here! What’s going on?” she called inside.
Kurt asked quietly, “What would you have done if it was locked?” But she ignored him. Kurt followed her in, finding Mercedes curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. He glanced around, finding Sam hovering near the door to the bedroom (they had a separate bedroom, not fair) and Sebastian standing in the kitchen. He shot his husband a questioning look, as he moved to curl up beside his friend. She shifted until he could wrap his arms around her.
“Well?” he asked.
“I’m due in seven and a half months.”
Kurt swallowed. “Congratulations?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t think it would happen so soon. I’ve only been married three months.”
Kurt gave her a small smile. “Would you like me to comment about you, Sam and your similarity to rabbits?”
Mercedes laughed loudly, drawing the attention of the rest of the room. Rachel, who had been berating Sam about leaving school, and more importantly glee club, spun around with her hands on her hips. “What’s going on?”
Sam shook his head. “Well- uh… we…”
Sebastian spoke up. “You’re going to tell her, right?”
“Well, yeah, but I don’t know how—“
“I got this. Rachel, Mercedes is knocked up and it will most likely affect her entire like, including college and any future she wanted to have, and she’s not allowed to complain about it because our precious system is fucked up and outdated and—“
“Sebastian!” Kurt yelled. “Calm down.” Said boy rolled his eyes, but didn’t say another word. He strode across the room and sank down on the couch behind Kurt. His arm was barely touching his back, but it still sent shivers down Kurt’s spine.
Sam swallowed as Rachel turned to face him, her face deadly. “I—uh…”
“Sam Evans, what the hell were you thinking? We have regionals coming up!”
Kurt heard Sebastian mutter, “Is that really her first issue?”
“Shh, she’ll come around to the important things eventually,” Kurt whispered to him.
“How can we possibly win nationals if one of our best singers is getting sick from a baby!?”
Mercedes joined the whispered conversation with, “I’m glad she thinks I’m one of the best. But I give Sam three more minutes before he’s weeping.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “You have no faith in your husband.”
“No, I’ve watched him buckle under me in a minute flat. I’m being generous.”
Sebastian added, “Can we get a mute button for this?”
“And for goodness sake Sam, what about her career after school? She’s supposed to be the next great diva, just like I’m destined to be the next Barbara! How could you do that to her?”
Kurt chuckled. “Yeah, how could he? Gee Mercedes, how much were you complaining about him ‘doing that’ to you?”
“Oh trust me, boo, not at all. In fact—“
“And that’s all I want to hear about straight sex, thank you very much.”
Sebastian laughed. “What Kurt? You don’t want to hear about her and her husband fucking? Him taking her—“
Kurt reached around and slapped his hand down on his husband’s mouth. “Gross! Shut up!” But his hand didn’t do much to stifle his laughter.
Rachel finally paused her ranting, to the total relief of Sam. “Just what is so funny?”
Sebastian shook his head and curled into Kurt’s shoulder, still chuckling.
Kurt sighed. “If I take my hand away, will you please stop talking about Mercedes’ sex life?”
Sebastian nodded, still tucked into Kurt, who glared at him for a moment longer and took his hand back. The other boy smirked, but stayed silent.
Rachel had turned back to Sam, staring expectantly at him. The blond shrugged his shoulders and glanced helplessly at his wife.
Mercedes rolled her eyes. “Sorry, what did she ask you? Kurt and Seb were making jokes about our sex life.”
Sam blanched. “Um, she wants to know how I’m going to fix this. I didn’t think…”
“Rachel,” Kurt called out. “Down girl. There’s nothing to fix. Mercedes is going to be fine. And why are you complaining? This just means more solos for you.”
“Uh uh, no way. Baby or not, she is not getting my solos. I’ll give them to the new boy over there before she gets another one.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Please. As delightful as Sebastian is, he is hardly solo material.”
“Ouch,” Sebastian muttered.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much the lowest you can get as far as insults from her go,” Kurt whispered back.
“She needs to take some lessons from you.”
“I’ve tried. Her metaphors don’t make sense, and she compares everything to herself.”
Rachel huffed. “Just what are you two whispering about over there? We have a serious issue going on here.”
“And allow me to fix it,” Sebastian said. “Mercedes, how do you feel about it?”
The diva shrugged. “Nervous, but I guess I was expecting it eventually.
The blond scratched the back of his head. “I guess I’m actually really happy about it. I love kids.”
Kurt smiled. “And which one of you is going to stay home?” Kurt knew they wouldn’t have to worry about money with the government stipend covering their expenses once the baby was born. It was mandatory that someone stayed home with the child. Usually the mother did, relying on the system to provide for their families. It was one of Kurt’s least favorite ways that the government kept people from fighting the system. It was hard to bite the hand that paid all of your bills after all.
“Oh that’s easy,” Sam responded quickly.
“Oh is it?” Mercedes glared at him. “And just how easy is it going to be for me to stay home all day?”
“What are you talking about? It’s easy because I want to stay home.”
Silence washed over the room.
Mercedes spoke first. “You will?”
Sam shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, you can’t let this get in the way of what an amazing star you’re going to be, and I’ll be happy with the kids. You know me, I love them.”
“Really?” Mercedes pressed a hand to her chest. “I didn’t think…”
“Well, now you don’t have to think about it.” Sam moved in closer, kneeling at her feet. He reached up and pulled her down for a kiss.
Sebastian tugged Kurt to his feet, whispering, “And this is our cue to leave. You don’t want to watch them try to make twins.”
“Oh, why do you have to ruin a romantic moment like that?” Kurt followed him towards the door, motioning for Rachel to come with them.
“Because I can.”
Rachel gave her final word before Kurt could pull her out the door. “We’ll talk about solos in glee tomorrow!”
Kurt closed the door behind her. As they went down the steps, he asked Sebastian, “What are you doing here, anyway?”
Sebastian rolled his shoulders, as he dug the keys out of his pocket. “I saw Sam leaving at lunch. He looked like he was going to run to the hospital. So I gave him a ride.”
“Well, what a sweet gentleman you are,” Rachel cut in, ignoring Kurt’s glare. “So what are you two up to now?”
Kurt answered, “Dinner most likely, then homework.” And a conversation, he mentally added.
“Do you want to have dinner together? Thursday night special at Breadstix.”
Sebastian curled his lip in disapproval. “I hate that place. The food is terrible.”
Kurt eyed Rachel for a moment. She had that look in her eyes, a lonely lost expression. It was difficult trying to be in control of her future in this town, but she worked so hard for it. She hadn’t had an easy life growing up as well. Her fathers had been one of the first gay couples allowed to marry, and the first to gain permission to have a child outside of their marriage. Most gay couples simply donated to the sperm banks. Her fathers begged to be allowed to raise the child themselves. They found a woman whose first husband had died, and made an agreement: if they could have a child with her, and they would raise the baby, the mother could have a separate career, but still be attached to the family. Rachel had spent her life talking to family care specialists once a month since she could talk. She was an experiment in family expectations. Her life had been out of her control since before she was conceived, so Kurt couldn’t help but admire how determined she was to fulfill her own dreams and be a star. But there were times when she got so lost in her dreams, so lost in her determination that the loneliness of it all began to eat at her self-confidence. Kurt didn’t ever want to see Rachel break and lose that.
He nudged Sebastian, as he said, “Sure, we’ll have dinner with you.”
She squealed and jumped towards her car. “I’ll meet you there!”
Kurt followed Sebastian back to their car. “She’s psycho, but she’s my best friend. If you want, I can drop you off at our place.”
Sebastian shook his head. “No thanks. I enjoy the Rachel Berry show. It’s like watching a real life ad for medication. It’s hilarious.”
Kurt couldn’t help but agree.
On Friday, Sebastian woke up early. He had a plan. Last night had been the most relaxed he’d felt since the wedding, and for a while he couldn’t place why. By all rights, yesterday should have made him want to slam his head against the wall. From watching Sam and Mercedes fall apart, then put each other back together again, to listening to Rachel and Kurt discuss fashion and every possible place to go shopping in New York; Sebastian should have hated every minute of it. But he felt fine, good even, and he knew the reason was that Kurt wasn’t at his throat. Hell, they had even joked together at the apartment, something that made his chest filling with warmth. It had been so long since someone had felt comfortable enough to laugh with him instead of around him, or even at him. It was great, and Sebastian certainly wasn’t going to let it slip through his fingers. He wanted more of that, and damn it he was going to get it.
It had felt good seeing the grateful look in Mercedes’ eyes when he’d brought Sam to the hospital and Kurt had smiled at him too when he’d heard, even if it was followed with a strict lecture about the right to steal his baby. It had been friendly and harmless. There was that small bit of warmth in Kurt’s eyes, and Sebastian was craving more of it.
He hadn’t wanted someone’s approval so badly since he’d given up on trying to please his parents. But this was different. Kurt’s approval made Sebastian feel like a better person, not less than human like his parent’s had. He needed someone to like him, and if it was possible, he wanted it to be Kurt.
So he had a plan. He was going to woo Kurt, show him that he could be nice, and kind, and a gentleman too. Paris may have gone to hell when it came to marriage, but romance had still survived in its clothing, food and manners, and Sebastian was going to show Kurt how romantic someone from Paris could be. It was funny, Sebastian thought as he silently clicked off his alarm and climbed down from the bed, Tina had been right the whole time. She’d told him to woo Kurt, but he hadn’t listened. It was shocking how wrong he was. He tucked the covers back around Kurt and turned to set the boy’s alarm back an extra 30 minutes. Kurt wouldn’t need the extra time, not today.
Today, Sebastian was going to woo his husband.
When Kurt stumbled to flip off his alarm, he barely managed to catch a glimpse of the time. “Oh, god!” he cried, when the realization hit him. He scrambled to pull off his pajamas to change and find an outfit. What the hell was he going to come up with in this limited amount—
Kurt froze when he slid the closet door open. Hanging in front of the rest of his clothes was an outfit with a note attached.
‘Wear this. You’ll look beautiful in it.’
Frowning, Kurt took stock of the outfit. It wasn’t terrible, charcoal jeans that he knew were tight on his hips, a pale silver button up shirt and a dark blue waistcoat to go over it. Kurt would have to add a tie, but it certainly could work. He glanced back at the note a moment longer and began to get dressed. As he buttoned up his shirt, he glanced around the empty apartment. Where the hell was Sebastian? They were supposed to talk today, and there was no sign of him.
While he searched, Kurt took in the other details of the room. How his bag was set by the door, no longer spread over the table with his homework strewn about. He noticed the shoes set out next to it, a pair of black and silver boots that would match perfectly. Kurt gaped when he saw breakfast on the table, a plate of waffles covered with fruit, some yogurt and granola, sitting next to a cup of coffee. The coffee had whipped cream on top, as well as a dusting of cocoa powder.
Kurt bit his lip. What the hell was going on? Sebastian was missing, breakfast made, and everything set up… perfectly. As he mused, Kurt caught a glimpse of a second note pinned to the door to their bedroom.
‘Quit flipping out and eat your breakfast. We both know it’s your favorite.’
Kurt frowned at the indignity of the note. It wasn’t signed, but there was only one person who could have done all of this. How he did it was still a mystery, but the reason was still elusive.
Still, Kurt finished getting dressed and did his hair, happy that Sebastian hadn’t tried to mess with his products. He ate his breakfast, too proud to admit that it tasted divine; the coffee, as it turned out, was a mocha, and Kurt just wasn’t awake enough to process just how much work must have gone into getting just that for him.
When he reached his car, Kurt found another note.
‘I got a ride to school. Hope you like the music.”
Kurt started the engine, and a cd began to play; a piano mix of his favorite musicals. It was one of the most relaxing rides to school he’d ever had. Kurt wondered just where he had found the cd, and was he allowed to keep it?
It continued all day. Kurt found a rose attached to his locker, with a snippet of a poem tied to it, it made Kurt blush with how the people in the hallway stared but he couldn’t just get rid of the rose; it smelled lovely.
In French class, Kurt finally saw Sebastian as he slipped in just as the bell rang. He tried to say something to him but he was interrupted by the teacher.
“Ok, I’ve received a request that we translate some poems. Everyone please pair up and grab a poem. Put it in French, but please keep the poetic feel. We want to feel the romance in every line.”
Kurt smiled triumphantly. Finally, he’d get a chance to demand answers from Sebastian. The boy was walking toward him, sliding into the desk next to him with a sweet smile. Kurt couldn’t help but admire how his dark eyes and slim pants made him seem like some sort of devil. He bit back the thought and opened his mouth to speak, but Sebastian beat him to it.
“You couldn’t just follow directions, could you?”
Kurt blinked. “What?”
“The tie. You had to add a tie.”
Kurt glanced down and smirked. “Well, it’s a very nice outfit, but it does need something more. A broach would have been better, but someone didn’t give me enough time to get ready. Seriously, who said you could set back my alarm?”
Sebastian started to respond, his smirk already dancing on his lips, then shook his head, bringing back the sweet smile. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s translate some love poetry.” It came out forced; with candy sweetness. It was nice, but it startled Kurt. The voice was nothing like the Sebastian he knew.
“That’s fine,” he said slowly. “But what is all of this for? Did you hit your head or something?”
“Come on darling. Let’s look at the first line. It’s about eyes, and yours are stunning.”
Kurt rolled his eyes but focused on the paper. This was too bizarre but if Sebastian wanted to play this game so be it.
He didn’t say anything about the strange behavior for the rest of the day, simply allowing Sebastian to give him compliments, describing his skin, hair and eyes in such romantic lines that Kurt felt like he would have a toothache by the end of the day.
He shrugged off the way the teachers smiled happily at them, obviously thinking they were newlyweds in love. They had been too sold on the system to see how much of a ruse it all was.
At lunch, Kurt found Sebastian setting two trays down on the table, one with his regular food, and the other with an assortment of fruits and a sandwich. Next to the tray a fresh mocha was waiting. Sighing he allowed Sebastian to pull the chair out for him then push it in behind him. He gently rubbed his shoulder as he pulled away then sat next to him, another false smile painted on his face.
Kurt began to speak, just wanting it to stop before Sebastian wore the both of them out, but he was interrupted by Santana’s arrival.
“So, newbie, have you found out just how kinky twinkle toes over here can be?”
Kurt was the only one to see Sebastian bite back a smile as he said, “Santana, I would never discus such intimate details about Kurt with you.”
She gaped at him, and leaned over the table. Kurt got a generous view of her chest as she whispered loudly to him, “Kurt, did you break him? What the hell did you do?”
Kurt shrugged furiously trying to wipe the image from his mind. “No clue. He’s been like a robot all day.”
“I am simply trying to treat Kurt how he deserves to be treated,” Sebastian said, as Mercedes slid into her seat. She was followed by Sam, who gave Sebastian a nod in greeting.
“What’s up, Seb?” Sam asked.
“Nothing at all. How are you doing?” he asked, as Mercedes smiled at him in greeting.
Sebastian didn’t say much for the rest of the day, save for him soft singing in glee. It was accompanied by gentle looks and a smile so fake that Kurt had to stop himself from cringing.
He’s trying, he told himself. He’s trying to be nice, and treat me the way that he thinks I want to be treated. And it’s killing him, he thought as Sebastian once again held himself back from insulting Kurt. Kurt was even giving him perfect chances to, discussing his hair product, skin care, and an upcoming girls’ night with Rachel and Mercedes. He brought up sex in the same moment, winking at him, and desperate to get a rise. But Sebastian just smiled benignly at him, and opened the car door for him.
Kurt let it continue all the way through dinner, made once more by Sebastian, and while it was delicious, Kurt was bored with the act.
He set his fork down and leveled his gaze on Sebastian’s tight smile. “Are you tired of this yet?”
The boy’s smile tensed for a moment longer, and then crumbled, his face drooping and his head falling into his hands. “God, yes. This is exhausting. Can we please just have sex now?” Kurt laughed and shook his head. “What?” Sebastian asked. “Why not? I’ve been treating you like fucking royalty princ—“ He caught himself and looked down.
“Sebastian, just what were you thinking? Why go to all this trouble?”
“I just… I thought you wanted some sort of prince charming, someone who’d pull out chairs for you, sing to you in glee, and buy you lunch and little presents.” He didn’t mention the other reasons; he wasn’t ready to share that need just yet.
“I guess that would be nice for a while, but it’s a little boring.” Kurt sighed. “Sebastian, I didn’t ask you to treat me like a princess—and don’t think that I missed that either” Kurt poked him in the shoulder. “I asked you to treat me decently and respect my family. This.” He gestured to the dinner spread out before them. “This is just exhausting for me, as well as for you. It was nice, don’t get me wrong, but it got annoying. Besides,” Kurt laughed. “I don’t think you could pick out my clothes every day.”
“Oh, I could,” Sebastian snorted. “I could, but eighty percent of your clothes would go untouched. Seriously Kurt, you own an orange, fuzzy poncho.”
“There is nothing wrong with using bold colors.”
“Yes, but I’m pretty sure that there is something wrong with looking like a traffic cone; unless I missed the announcement of construction worker chic.”
“That’s not the only fashion tip you missed, but I don’t really have time to go through the list.”
“Don’t bitch about my clothes; you know you’re jealous of my ability to dress entirely in the men’s department.” Sebastian grinned at the eye roll he received. “Anyway, I’d like to get back to the discussion about why we can’t have sex, because I’m still a little upset about that one.”
Kurt shook his head. “I’m not saying that we can’t have sex. I’m saying that I just want to talk about it first.”
“But we have talked!”
“No,” Kurt snapped back. “We’ve argued. And frankly if that’s the only sort of communication we have then I just can’t trust you enough to sleep with you.”
Sebastian groaned, getting up from the table. Playing with the comforter, he muttered, “Fine, what do you want to say?”
Kurt pushed back from the table, hands clasped in front of him. “Well, I want to know what you expect from all of this. And I want you to know what I expect. We may not get to choose this but we can at least choose how this works.”
Sighing, Sebastian hopped up on the bed, with his feet at the head, staring up at the ceiling. “Fine. What I want is pretty simple. I want sex, and to be pretty much left alone as much as possible.”
“I can’t leave you alone that much; we have to live together.”
“I know, I just—I don’t want you to get any sort of notion that we’re… I don’t know a couple, or real, or madly in love.”
Kurt gave a short laugh. “Your behavior has pretty much guaranteed that won’t happen.”
“Good,” Sebastian bit back.
“So you want to sleep with me as much as possible, and then have nothing to do with me after that.”
Sebastian shrugged. “I guess… I mean…” He rolled over, resting his head against the edge of the bed so he could look at Kurt. “You make it sound worse than it is. I’m not going to treat you like crap, but I’m also not going to act all lovely dovey with you. I just can’t do that.” A dark look passed over his eyes. “I can’t fake love like that. I refuse.” He shook himself. “But what do you want?”
Kurt went back to look at the table. “I promised my dad that I would make this work, that I would have some sort of decent marriage.”
“What’s your definition of a decent marriage? Because from what I see, the system has pretty much ruled that out entirely.”
“I don’t know! Maybe getting along? Working together?”
Sebastian narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “I’m surprised you didn’t say love. You Broadway types always seem to believe in that.”
“I’m not stupid enough to think that I’m going to fall in love with you,” Kurt huffed.
“Good. Because I can just imagine how clingy and desperate you would be.”
“Whereas you’re missing the vital heart ingredient to the love equation.”
“True.” Sebastian nodded, and then propped himself up higher. “So are we done? We’ll try to get along, and not insult each other at every second, and we get to have a lot of sex. Does that sound fair?”
Kurt considered it, trying to imagine what it would look like, working with Sebastian. He was certainly ruthless in everything that he did so Kurt was sure that his husband would use that determination to make this work. “Fine. Sounds like a plan.”
Sebastian leapt up. “Yes!” He rolled back onto his knees, and started pulling his shirt off in the process. “Get up here, I’m sick of waiting.”
“What?” Kurt felt the blush creep up; he hadn’t expected the clothes to just fall off like that.
“You think I’m going to wait any longer? I had a great night of sex, my first night of real sex, let me remind you, and then I got starved of it for almost an entire week. Let’s go; this is happening.”
“Nope.” Kurt stood, turning back to gather the dishes from the table, hoping to hide the deep blush staining his cheeks.
Sebastian stopped, his hands on his jeans. “What? Why? Kurt!”
Kurt chuckled. “I’m going to clean the table first, and then do the dishes and clean the kitchen.”
Sebastian huffed, and then jumped down from the bed. He grabbed the dishes from Kurt’s hands and brought them to the sink dropping them in; they were quickly joined by the rest of the dishes from the stove, soon filled with water to soak. “There, done,” he said as he came back into the main room, shutting the door behind him. He moved to the bed and flipped on the light, then went back to turn off the big one. He turned back to Kurt, biting his lip. He took a breath. “Please?”
Kurt laughed and started to unbutton his vest. “And how hard was it for you to say that, Sebastian?” He pulled off the garment, and draped it over the chair, along with his tie. The clothes would be fine for one night; they certainly weren’t his best clothes.
“Oh that pretty much took everything that I have. I’m sapped of all my strength. Help me Kurt, I need to be rejuvenated,” Sebastian said, placing a hand on his head, and pretending to stumble into the bed with weakness.
Kurt raised an eyebrow. “If you’re so tired, then you wouldn’t mind if I topped, right?”
Sebastian didn’t meet his gaze as he moved to unbutton his pants. “Very funny.”
He wasn’t sure he was ready to give Kurt that kind of power. His body was the one thing he had control over in his life; he had lost his family, his school, and most of all, his freedom, but he at least had his body and he wasn’t about to give that up entirely to Kurt. But it wasn’t entirely true, he realized. He’d lost control of his body along with the marriage; the government told them to have sex, forced them to. So what did he have control over? Sex still, he guessed; how they did it, and what he let Kurt do to him. It would be fair as well; Kurt trusted Sebastian to take care of him that night, and it would be terrible to start their newfound relationship without trusting him with it. And a small voice inside whispered how much he wanted it, wanted and needed to be held, and to just let himself feel for once. His traitorous mind flashed back to their first night, when Kurt had him pinned to the bed, eyes full of confidence that seeped down into every move of his hand. Sebastian knew how much he wanted that again, but was he ready for it?
Kurt pushed at him. “I’m serious. It’s fair, I want to top.”
Sebastian shrugged as his pants dropped, still not looking Kurt’s way. “Yeah, I guess.” The smirk started to form, like clouds blocking the sun, hiding the truth behind them. “That is, if you think you can handle me baby.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “I thought I told you not to call me that,” he said, as he slipped out of his jeans. His socks and undershirt soon followed. He shivered, suddenly feeling the chill of the room.
Sebastian noticed. “What, scared you won’t be as good as me?”
Kurt glared, and then crossed the room. He pushed Sebastian against the bed, one leg slipping between his to press against his crotch. He was half hard already, Kurt realized. He dived in for a kiss, hard and sure.
Sebastian groaned into it, and couldn’t help grabbing Kurt’s arms for balance. Fuck, that felt perfect, letting Kurt have the control, so fucking good.
Kurt pulled back to mutter against his lips, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that you enjoy every minute of it. Just let me do this.”
Sebastian tried not to sigh at the tension finally leaving his body. It must have been a combination of everything this week, from the marriage, fighting Kurt, to meeting Mercedes and Sam. Sex was exactly what he needed, just a chance to relax. He could even let Kurt be in control; it didn’t have to mean anything about him.
Kurt started kissing him again, a pressure that he couldn’t ignore, and Sebastian finally let go of himself; let himself simply feel.
This was so much different, thought Kurt as he climbed up into the bed with Sebastian, still kissing him at every chance he got. Not just because they got to switch positions (and he had to clamp down a giddy swirl of nerves at the thought of that) but because they weren’t forced to do this. There was no ticking clock in the back of his head, no persistent itch from the sensor in his arm. There was no fear, Kurt realized with a shock of happiness, as he gently pushed Sebastian down, his hands scratching gently at his chest. He wasn’t afraid of screwing this up, and having his family suffer the consequences, and now that he understood Sebastian more, he wasn’t afraid of hurting him.
There was nothing but Kurt and Sebastian, the two of them working together to please each other and to make this work. They could simply enjoy themselves. As Sebastian groaned below him, nipples stiff from the attention, Kurt knew that he was going to love this. He was going to make Sebastian feel spectacular and forget about all the rest.
Kurt kissed him harder, as he sucked Sebastian’s bottom lip into his mouth, grazing his teeth along the inside before thrusting his own tongue into his mouth. He tasted delicious, the sweetness of their fruit dessert mingling perfectly with the taste of Sebastian. The boy below him groaned, as the motion mimicked something much more intimate. Sebastian surged upwards, pressing his tongue into Kurt’s mouth. He pulled him closer with a hand on the back of his neck, then rolled them, pinning Kurt to the bed.
Kurt laughed as Sebastian started to kiss his way down his neck, stopping to lightly suck on the skin there. “I thought I was going to top.” Sebastian nipped him gently, sending a shiver of pleasure and anticipation down his spine. “Careful,” he muttered.
“I know. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that,” Sebastian said into his skin. “And don’t worry baby, you’ll get to have me.” He moved lower, pulling Kurt’s nipple into his mouth to tug it gently. “But let’s discus who knows more here. You’re going to have to learn from me.” He shifted, pressing his thigh into Kurt’s cock, still clothed in cotton.
Kurt groaned and pressed back harder into that leg. “No,” he moaned, scrambling to push Sebastian off of him. He barely managed to hook his leg around him, bringing their groins flush together. Kurt bit his lip as Sebastian rolled to his back again, although this time it didn’t look quite as comfortable as before, with half of his body laying against the wall.
Sebastian snorted. “Oh yeah, cause this is so much better.” But the smile didn’t leave his mouth.
Kurt huffed. “Shut up. I want to learn how to do this,” But he leaned back to let him adjust, once more resting against the pillows, with his hands playing with the band of his underwear. Kurt nodded, and Sebastian slipped them off, smirking at the blush that stained Kurt’s cheeks.
“Come on baby, you wanted to learn.” He stretched his arms above his head, displaying his whole body for Kurt to play with.
Kurt swallowed, saying once more, “Shut up.” But he started with kissing; he knew kissing and from how hard Sebastian had gotten, he was pretty sure he was good at kissing.
Kurt captured his lips again, gently pressing his tongue into Sebastian’s mouth once again, tasting him, and massaging his tongue, but always soft and easy. He pulled back slightly, blushing lightly. “If I do something wrong, tell me.”
Sebastian growled and brought his hands down to Kurt’s hips, tugging his underwear down. “Trust me, I’d tell you. I’ll even tell you what to do now. I think you should suck my cock.”
Kurt huffed, and bit him harshly, eliciting a heavy moan from him. “You don’t have to be so demanding,” he said lightly, alternating each word with a bite into Sebastian’s heated skin.
Sebastian panted as he spoke, trying to keep calm as Kurt moved down, leaving a path of marks. “Ok honey, will you please,” he gasped at a rough suck on his nipple. “Will you please be so kind as to wrap your lips around my cock—“ He gave a low moan as Kurt’s hand brushed his cock. “Around my cock and suck it like a lemon drop?” He gasped as Kurt reached his hips and placed a gentle kiss on each side. “Fuck, Kurt just suck it please!”
Kurt laughed. “Calm down, I’m going to suck it. I just… I don’t know how…”
Sebastian rolled his eyes, but placed his hands on Kurt’s head, twining his fingers in his hair. “It’s not that hard, just don’t bite me or I’ll switch all your products around.”
“Don’t be a dick.” Kurt lightly slapped his hip, them kissed the same spot.
“Oh, abuse! I’m telling!” Sebastian tugged lightly at his hair. “Kurt, I’m not going to ask you again.”
“Fine, don’t be a baby about it.”
“I’m not—“ His voice was cut off as Kurt licked lightly at the head, sending a spark of lust through his body. God, jerking off in the shower had not been enough, not when he had a deliciously talented husband to do it for him. And Kurt was talented, experience of not, Sebastian thought as Kurt began to suck at just the head. His tongue pressed forward every now and then to flick at his slit, and he could swear that he was licking up drop of precome. Fuck, but it was too gentle, not enough. “Kurt,” he moaned, pulling at his hair again. “You have to do more, deeper or start sucking, fuck just do something.”
Kurt flicked his eyes up at him and hummed in agreement. Sebastian gasped and then moaned as Kurt did both, sinking lower on him and sucking at the hot flesh in his mouth. He was about halfway in when he felt Kurt start to gag. He pulled him back by his hair.
Kurt slid back entirely, much to the displeasure of his husband. His glare silenced his protest. “Don’t you dare pull my hair like that.”
“Would you rather choke on my cock? Cause you were about to make this unpleasant for both of us.”
Kurt blushed through his glare. He reached back to grab the lube, untouched since their first night. “You sure you’re okay with this?” he asked, softening his look.
“Yeah, you’re right, it’s fair.”
“Oh, I’m right? You’re just full of surprising admissions tonight.” He dropped the bottle, letting it lean against the wall. “But seriously, fair doesn’t mean anything if you don’t really want this.”
Sebastian jerked up to pull Kurt down on top of him, resting him in the crook of his neck. He kissed him soundly, grinning at the taste of himself on Kurt. Delicious. “Yes, I’m sure. I’d be more worried if you weren’t being such a big baby about it.” He snorted as Kurt poked him in the stomach. “But I’m fine.” Sebastian refused to mention the curl of fear that still tightened his throat. “Just…” he said softly, before taking a breath. “I’ll ride you, so you don’t have to worry about hurting me.” There, now he’d have all the control.
Kurt watched his suspiciously, but let it go. If Sebastian was going to trust him, then he was going to take him at that. “Fine, but I want to prepare you. I can at least learn that.”
Sebastian grinned, much more at ease now. “Oh, a hands on learner. I like it.”
“Can’t you just keep your mouth shut?” Kurt did it for him, kissing him deeply. He pulled back and settled between Sebastian’s legs, which were bent at the knee. He was so open, Kurt marveled, as he took in the sight of his still-leaking cock, his heavy balls and his tight pucker. Kurt filled his hand with lube, letting some of it slide down his entrance and used the rest of coat his hand.
Sebastian jerked as the liquid hit him. “Jeez Kurt, you’ve got enough to drown me.”
“Sorry,” Kurt muttered, running his fingers over the hole, watching how the muscles twitched under his touch.
“That’s it,” his husband encouraged. “Just slip one in slowly, your middle finger, I’ll relax for you.” And he did, allowing Kurt to slide his finger in, the heavy lube allowing him to reach all the way up to his knuckle without a stutter. “Yeah, like that,” Sebastian groaned, as Kurt began to move it out and in, a steady rhythm that was making Sebastian’s head spin.
“God, that looks good,” Kurt groaned, making Sebastian laugh.
“Yeah, it’ll look better when it’s your cock,” he said. “Add a second one, and go a little slower this time. This one will stretch more.”
Nodding, Kurt pulled his hand back to add his index finger. He bit his lip as he started to press in. he knew that Sebastian was trying to relax, but it still looked like too much, even those two fingers against his pucker shining with lube. But still they slipped in, eliciting a hiss from the boy below him. He pressed forward until he reached the base, and then pulled back. It was stunning how he seemed to cling to his fingers, not wanting them to leave his body. On he went, thrusting slowly into him, scissoring his fingers when Sebastian told him to.
Sebastian groaned. It was almost too much, this invasion into his body, but Kurt’s steady hand on his hip and the muttered curses he could hear grounded him. Kurt was just as lost in this as Sebastian was; he wasn’t alone here. “Add a third finger,” he managed to gasp out, as Kurt finally hit his prostate. H wasn’t ready to lose himself to pleasure that fast; he couldn’t lose control like that.
Kurt nodded and slipped all three fingers in at once, pushing just as slowly as the first one. “Like this?” he asked, his voice ragged from imagining what h is cock would look like, replacing his fingers.
Sebastian hummed in agreement, then added, “You can go a little faster.” Kurt did so, speeding up his thrusts until Sebastian was forced to bite his lip to keep from moaning. It felt too good, too perfect for something that was just supposed to be a favor to Kurt. He couldn’t stop his hips from arching up, changing the angle. Kurt used the hand not currently buried in Sebastian to hold him steady, allowing him to strike that sensitive bundle of nerves on each thrust.
Sebastian cried out, moaning roughly and jerking his hips in time. It wasn’t until Kurt started kissing down to his cock that he realized how lost he was getting. He pushed at Kurt’s shoulder, groaning, “Stop Kurt, I’m ready.”
Kurt nodded blindly and pulled his fingers from Sebastian’s ass. “How do you want to do this?” he asked, as he lubed himself up, groaning heavily at the friction.
Sebastian panted as he sat up, biting his lip at the slickness in his ass. “Sit against the wall so you can hold me up and not get too tired.” Kurt agreed and shifted, his back pressed against the wall and his knees slightly bent. Sebastian would fit there perfectly, cradled by Kurt’s entire body. The man refused to admit how much he wanted to be held during this.
Instead, he climbed onto Kurt, letting his hands steady him. Resting against his thighs, Sebastian reached down to pump Kurt’s cock, making sure it was covered with enough lube. Kurt gasped below him, his hands running up and down Sebastian’s body. Sebastian swallowed and took a deep breath.
“You sure about this?” Kurt’s voice broke through the nervous haze, stronger and steadier than it should be. But Sebastian latched onto that wave of calm, wishing that it had come from himself.
“Yeah,” he said, as he started to move down, the tip of Kurt’s cock pressing against his ass. “I’m sure.” He shifted lower, and bit his lip as the tip breached him. His fingers dug into Kurt’s shoulders.
Kurt gasped loudly as the head disappeared into him, his hands moving to circle Sebastian’s back and shoulders, pulling him even closer. Sebastian groaned against him. “Breath,” Kurt mumbled, shocked that he could even speak with all that blinding heat surrounding him. “Everything’s fine.”
Sebastian groaned as he finally settled, Kurt buried entirely inside him. “God, Kurt it’s too much.” He gasped out, overwhelmed by the thickness inside of him. His head was spinning with the thought of someone so deep inside him, knowing all of his secrets, god he could use this against him, he’d be entirely under Kurt’s control he could—
“Breathe.” Kurt’s voice caught him off guard. “I need you to breathe sweetheart.”
Sebastian took a shaky breath, and chuckled lightly. “Sweetheart? Well, now I know why you hate when I call you baby.” Sebastian knew that his voice was weak, but he really didn’t care.
“Does this mean you’re going to stop calling me that?” Kurt asked with his voice steady even as his cock throbbed. His hands were gentle as they stroked up and down his back.
“Nope,” Sebastian replied, more confident. This he could do, this easy banter between them. “I’ll stop calling you that when it stops bothering you.” They hadn’t changed, he told himself, still annoying the hell out of each other, still working together, still Kurt and Sebastian. He took another deep breath and slowly raised himself up, hissing at the movement inside him.
“You sure you’re ready?” Kurt questioned, hands moving to his hips to help hold him up.
Sebastian nodded and dropped down again, just a few inches, but the gravity made it seem like so much more. They both groaned as Kurt’s cock was forced deep inside him again. Sebastian exhaled harshly, before pulling up and doing it again, faster this time, just to keep the blissed-out look on Kurt’s face. He didn’t like him too determined, too clear; he could see all of Sebastian’s fears that way.
Kurt moaned loudly at the heat and suction surrounding him. Sebastian felt too amazing, tight like a vice, but deliciously supple for him. Sebastian kept dropping down, sending bolts of pleasure through him. But he looked like he was just enduring it and Kurt wanted him screaming, lost in pleasure and god, he just wanted that pained look gone from his face forever.
Kurt pulled him closer so his arms were wrapped entirely around Sebastian, chests pressed together. He kissed him deep and slow and shifted so he pressed against his prostate. Sebastian moaned, low and broken before rising and dropping again, faster and faster, and Kurt could barely hold on to him. His hands slid across Sebastian’s back, scratching and rubbing the sweaty skin, anything to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone. Sebastian threw his head back on one hard jolt of pleasure and Kurt couldn’t take it anymore.
“God, Seb, please just let me fuck you, god, it’ll be son fucking perfect.” Kurt knew he was babbling, begging Sebastian to trust him, let him just take him and give him everything. He needed it, needed to make Sebastian just lose himself in pleasure.
Sebastian couldn’t keep his mind straight, as each stroke inside him made everything spin in a rush of heat. He could barely process Kurt’s words, just wanted more, so he nodded, frantic for more, more of anything that Kurt would give him.
Kurt’s breath caught in his throat as Sebastian’s approval. Without hesitating, he kissed him, close-mouthed and reverential, and then pulled him up and off his cock. Hissing at the lack of contact, he pushed Sebastian until he was on his hands and knees with his face pressed into Kurt’s pillow. Kurt shifted Sebastian’s knees wider until he could slot between them.
Sebastian gasped at he hit the bed, held down there by the easy confidence in Kurt’s hands. He trembled as Kurt slipped behind him, cock brushing his entrance.
“Just relax, let me make you feel good.” Sebastian could feel the quiver in Kurt’s voiced as he pushed inside him again, no longer slow and careful. Sebastian could only moan brokenly as Kurt draped himself over his back, hands coming around to intertwine with his own. As he started to thrust, hard and sure and hitting his prostate each time, Sebastian realized how surrounded he was. He could smell Kurt in the pillows he was buried in, that elusive scent that he found himself seeking every time he was near the other boy. He could feel Kurt’s rough pants on the back of his neck, as well as teeth and lips and tongue, and fuck it was perfect. It shouldn’t have been so perfect, but he couldn’t help but wish that it would never end.
But he couldn’t last forever, not with the intense assault on his senses, and especially when Kurt let go of one of his hands to jerk him off in time with his powerful thrusts. He was sucking his neck roughly. It was his name that did it, moaned loud and unashamedly, the one thing that finally broke him, sending Sebastian reeling into a dark oblivion where only Kurt mattered, only Kurt existed.
Kurt pumped Sebastian through his orgasm, panting and desperate for the boy below him. As Sebastian clamped tight around him almost painfully, Kurt lost it, thrusting without rhythm into that perfect tight heat until he came as well, practically screaming Sebastian’s name and filling him with his come.
Sebastian huffed when Kurt collapsed on him, finally bringing him back to reality. He could feel the wetness below him, but it didn’t bother him. Instead he was relaxed and if Kurt kept running his hands over his arms and shoulders like that he was going to screw clean up and fall asleep right there.
Unfortunately, Kurt had other plans. After a moment, he started to tug on the boy below him. “Come on, get up. We need to clean up before we go to sleep.”
Sebastian grumbled, but rose gingerly, unwilling to let Kurt take care of him the same way he’d done for Kurt. The walls were coming back up again, but it was different, like there was a door now and only Kurt had the key. And he was strangely okay with that.
Together, they washed down in the bathroom and brushed their teeth, even with Sebastian’s legs quivering every now and then. They pulled off the top sheet and dropped it on the floor. Kurt muttered about cleaning tomorrow, so it didn’t matter. Sebastian drifted to sleep first, tucked into Kurt’s neck while his hands played with his hair.
Kurt drifted awake as a pleased sigh left his lips. There was a comforting weight pressing him into the mattress, warm and solid. For a moment it was gone and Kurt reached up to find it again. His hands ran into warm skin, slick with sweat and confusion forced his eyes open.
Sebastian was on top of him, languidly riding his cock. His hands were pressed into the blanket behind him, with his head thrown back in pleasure. Kurt didn’t say anything for a moment, still half-asleep and simply enjoying the sigh and feel of Sebastian above him.
Finally he spoke. “So what brought this on?”
Sebastian jumped and glanced down. He blushed as he answered. “I woke up, you were hard and I was still…”
“I was still a little wet and loose and I was horny. So I uh…”
Kurt smiled and let himself settle back into the pillows. “So you decided to take advantage of my morning wood and ride me until I woke up.”
Sebastian colored deeply, but his reply was still steady. “Yeah, pretty much. Do you mind? I was having a good time.”
Kurt reached up to rest his hands on Sebastian’s thighs. “Oh, how dare I interrupt that. Please don’t mind me and continue.”
“Oh I will,” Sebastian said with a smirk.
Kurt let himself drift off, almost asleep but the needle sharp darts of pleasure kept him from truly sleeping. Instead, he hovered between dreams and reality, trapped between the soft pillow below him and the gorgeous boy above him. He could stay like this forever, he realized, listening to Sebastian’s gasps of pleasure, his cock wrapped in that perfect warm space. Now that he thought about it, he could feel how wet Sebastian was; still open and filled from their hasty clean up the night before. He couldn’t bring himself to regret it, not when Sebastian was speeding up, thrusting himself down harder, balancing his hands on Kurt’s chest and pulling him completely out of his dream state.
Kurt grabbed his hips, holding him steady just a few inches above him. He jerked up, slamming into Sebastian, now desperate to bring them both off. Sebastian met him with each thrust, moaning loudly whenever Kurt brushed his prostate. Kurt tried to hold onto himself, but it was too much for this early in the morning. He met Sebastian one last time, burying himself as deep as he could before coming hard into him.
Sebastian whined above him and dropped down again, resting entirely on Kurt’s lap. He rapidly fisted himself until he was coming over Kurt, painting his stomach with his seed. He slumped forward into the embrace waiting for him.
Kurt wasn’t sure how long they lay there, as he traced shapes onto Sebastian’s back and feeling him breathe heavily against him. He was almost ready to fall asleep again when his husband shifted in his arms.
“Gross,” he muttered as Kurt slipped out of him, along with a dribble of his come.
Kurt laughed, hands still playing with his skin. “I thought you liked finding it inside you.”
“Please ignore my tragic loss of my sanity. I must have been trapped in some horrible nightmare.”
Chuckling still, Kurt threaded his fingers into Sebastian’s hair. “I forgive you as long as you promise to do that again.”
“Sure baby, I promise to ride you into oblivion every Saturday morning.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Kurt sighed and glanced around. “Okay, I can’t live like this anymore. We’re cleaning today.”
Sebastian groaned and wrapped his arms tighter around Kurt. “No, you can’t make me.”
“Don’t be a jerk. I’m not cleaning the whole thing myself.”
“Why not? It’s your OCD that’s forcing this on us.”
“And it’s your come on the sheets that we have to clean.”
“Well, whose fault is that? My way would have been much cleaner.”
“Yes, cause you spend all of your time thinking about keeping the sheets clean during sex.”
“And you spend the whole time worrying about your hair.”
“Hey!” Kurt grabbed his side, forcing an annoyed squawk from Sebastian. “That’s only because you keep trying to pull it out. Now will you please be serious and help me clean? Because I’m doing it either way I could use the help with the smaller things.”
Sebastian sighed and then started to get up, barely suppressing a wince at the steady ache in his body. “Fine, I’ll help—what do you mean small stuff?”
Kurt sat up as well, ignoring the tired burn in his muscles and gestured at Sebastian. “Aren’t you sore? I could barely walk.”
Sebastian stretched high above him and circled his hips for good measure. “I’m fine.” Kurt raised an incredulous eyebrow at him. “Okay, yes, it hurts a little bit, but nothing I can’t handle. I’ve fingered myself before and to be honest I kind of like it.”
“Wait, you like it?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian said with a shrug. “That’s the difference between you and me, besides style grace and talent.” Kurt slapped him lightly for that. “You don’t like being hurt or marked and I get that. I respect that. But me? I like it. I like knowing that someone wants to mark me. And this ache? No matter how much work we do, I will not regret it, and I’d never give it up because it means that I get to have this again and again.” He stopped himself before he revealed more.
Kurt nodded slowly. “Ok, I understand, but you’re still only doing the light chores.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Ok, mom. What do we have to do?”
Kurt turned to survey the room. “Well, the bed sheets for one, and regular laundry after that. We need to vacuum in here and mop and sweep in the kitchen and bathroom.”
“I think I could sweep the kitchen with a toothbrush and still not take too much time.”
Kurt ignored him and continued. “We have to do the dishes that you ditched last night, and I want to organize the bookshelf. It still has all the books that other couples left behind on it. We need to clean the bathroom too.”
Groaning, Sebastian rubbed his face. “Fine, I’ll do the vacuuming, and other floor stuff and the dishes, if you do the bathroom and laundry, since you won’t let me actually work.”
“Then the book shelf and dusting together?”
“You never said anything about dusting.”
“Dusting’s a given when you’re cleaning. This should be obvious for you. Deal with it.”
“Fine, fine. But I want to go out for breakfast first.”
Kurt smiled and started to climb out of bed. “Okay, breakfast first and then let’s get to work.”
As Sebastian thrust steadily into Kurt, he couldn’t help but this about the past six weeks. It certainly wasn’t the time, as his husband’s hand tightened on the wood frame of their bed. But he was content, he realized, and he couldn’t help but wonder why.
It had been six weeks since their wedding it had only taken two of those weeks to fall into a pattern. They woke, Sebastian showering in the morning and Kurt at night, and ate breakfast before school, with Kurt making coffee and Sebastian driving when Kurt was too tired. (Sebastian wouldn’t admit that sometimes he kept Kurt up later just so he could drive, but really, it was a nice car.) At school they went their own ways, eating lunch together and occasionally talking about their French assignment. In glee, Sebastian liked to whisper sarcastic comments into Kurt’s ear, making him laugh. It was worth every glare he got from Rachel and every lewd gesture Santana sent their way. After school, they made dinner, did their homework and fucked. On the second Friday, Kurt had demanded that they have dinner with his family, and at least once over the weekend they went out for breakfast.
It was stupid, but there was something so soothing about it. Something about waking up to yoga on Sunday mornings, sweaty and calm in the early light. He loved when Kurt was too tired after dealing with glee drama and just ordered pizza for them, cuddling up in their tiny bed and watching movies on his laptop. He had even grown fond of making dinner for him. Kurt’s eyes were harsh each time, criticizing his food until he took the first bite. Then he would soften and smile at the plate in front of him, and god it was almost beautiful. It was almost as pretty as when Sebastian slid into him in the half-light of their room, or when Kurt gazed determinedly down at him and fucked him into submission.
There was something about it all that made him content, and peaceful, something that he hadn’t expected to ever happen in Ohio. This was nothing that he thought he wanted out of life, but he was almost happy to try it for the rest of forever.
Below him, Kurt shifted his weight to one hand, reaching back to slap Sebastian’s thigh. “What the hell are you waiting for? Fuck me.” His voice was rough, making Sebastian grin mischievously at him.
“But I am fucking you,” he said, never changing his slow pace. As far as he was concerned, they could stay like this forever.
“You bastard,” Kurt said with a moan. He reached his hand back once more, clawing at his husband’s arm. “Fuck me, please!”
“Careful Kurt, or you might lose your balance.”
“Screw you I have great-“ Kurt’s objection was interrupted by a short thrust, hard and fast and directly against his prostate. He moaned and his knees buckled, almost taking him to the floor. H barely managed to catch the ledge in time.
“Like I said, careful baby.” Sebastian smiled at the glare Kurt turned to give him, but kept going, fucking him harder with each thrust until Kurt was wailing and he was drilling his prostate on each hit. He could almost swear that the bed was going to crack under how hard Kurt was clutching it.
Over the sound of skin slapping, Sebastian heard a faint ringing. He glanced over to the table and grinned at the sight. “You phone is ringing Kurt. I’ll just stop to let you answer it, shall I?” Kurt simply moaned his name and pushed his hips back harder. Sebastian shrugged and fucked him just a little faster. Whoever was calling would just have to wait. He couldn’t hold back his groans when Kurt clamped down on him, and the phone was forgotten.
Kurt gasped his name and lost control, coming on the towel he had insisted on hanging. Sebastian kept going, holding his husband up and pounding into him. This was the best part when Kurt had already come from his cock alone and simply let Sebastian take him. He tried to hold on, make this last but it was too much. He’d been on edge just as long as Kurt.
Thrusting deeply one last time, Sebastian came, filling Kurt with his come He sagged against him and buried his face into his sweaty neck, breathing deeply to calm his heart.
Finally, Kurt pushed against him. “Get up. It’s midnight and I still need to shower.”
Sebastian huffed but pulled out, enjoying the wet sound that followed it. Still, he was just as messy as Kurt. “Can I join you for that shower?”
Kurt shrugged, pulling the towel down and taking it to the washing machine. “Fine, but only if you keep your hands to yourself.”
“Tease,” Sebastian said but followed him into the bathroom anyway. Yeah, he could deal with this.
As Sebastian crawled into bed, Kurt checked his phone. “Rachel called four times.”
Sebastian groaned. “Talk to her tomorrow. I’m tired. It’s already going to be hell waking up tomorrow.”
Kurt bit his lip before sending off a text saying that he would see her at school. He couldn’t quell the worry building up in him. Rachel never called this late. She was never up after nine, so what was she doing calling him after midnight?
“Kurt, come on. You can’t doing anything for her tonight. She’s probably flipping out over regionals. Please just come to bed.” Sebastian’s bed was muffled by the pillow and Kurt couldn’t help but agree. There was nothing he could do. He would just have to fix it tomorrow.
Kurt couldn’t hold back the yawn that split his face as he walked down the hall. Beside him, Sebastian was in no better shape, rubbing eyes with each step.
“I told you we should have started earlier,” he told Kurt.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Well, you took forever. Next time try not to keep me waiting for so long.”
"Whatever, you weren’t complaining.”
“Actually, I was—“ Kurt was cut off by feet pounding down the hall. He turned to see Sam bolting towards them.
Sam stopped and dropped to his knees. He panted heavily as he spoke, “Dude, Kurt, Seb, you gotta come. They’re gonna kill each other!”
Kurt sent Sebastian a worried look and they took off down the hall, following Sam.
Kurt could hear the problem before he could see it, a collection go voices yelling over each other. There was a crowd of students, some cheering in their excitement but most of them were chanting, “Fight! Fight!”
Elbowing his way into the middle, Kurt could finally make out the voices and people.
Rachel was crying in the middle, yelling through her gasping sobs. Beyond her Santana was being restrained by Mike and Puck. She was screaming in Spanish and desperately trying to get to the smaller girl, most likely to claw her eyes out if her outstretched hands were any indication. Beside Rachel, Finn was yelling as well and Kurt could tell that he was quickly reaching the breaking point and would soon storm off and pretend not to cry.
“What the hell did you do this for Rachel? I thought you were happy with this, with us!” he tall boy cried.
“I am happy Finn! This has nothing to do with us!” Rachel tried to grab his hands, but he brushed her off.
“Yeah, this has nothing to do with us. That’s why we can’t ever be together! Or did you forget that you can’t marry two people, Rachel?”
Santana finally switched to English. “Yeah, because you’re really the one hurting here Gigantor. I’m the one who has to deal with this bitch for the rest of my life.”
“Like it’s any better for me,” Rachel shot back.
“I just don’t understand why you would do something like this,” Finn said with a sob threatening to break free.
“I did it to make my dads happy! It was ages ago that I registered and I just wanted to make them proud of me.”
Kurt was baffled. He nudged Sam as the yelling continued. “What is going on?”
Sam muttered to him, not taking his eyes off the spectacle, “Rachel got matched with Santana last night. Apparently she had signed up as a switch, for her dads or whatever. Either way, everyone’s pissed.” He shrugged. “I guess I’m really shocked at Santana. Who knew she signed up for girls?”
Kurt shared a glance with Sebastian before he replied, “We knew, but we didn’t want to talk about it. It’s not our place.”
Santana had finally grown tired of yelling at Rachel and turned to plead with Brittany instead. “And what the hell happened with you? I thought you were going to register to be with me?”
The blonde girl shrugged. “I went with my parents. Paperwork confuses me. I told them to pick for me. They love me so they know what I want.”
“No they don’t! Why would you do something like that?”
“Well, I tried.” She didn’t seem concerned. “Besides, the system works. I guess that means you love Rachel. I still love you too, but you love her more.” She turned to leave while Santana stared at her in shock.
“Brittany!” But she didn’t return.
Behind her, Rachel was still trying to reason with Finn. He kept shaking his head and finally threw up his hands in frustration.
“You know what Rachel, if you want to be political or whatever go for it, but don’t give up on us! But I guess that’s not enough for you.”
He left, leaving the crowd circled around Rachel and Santana. Puck and Mike were edging closer to Santana, as if to stop her from attacking Rachel. Instead she just glared at the short girl.
“So do you feel better Berry? Feel more powerful? Feel like you’re doing the gay community a favor? Think Daddy and Daddy will be happy? Well, I hope so, because I’m going to make sure that you’re not.”
She pushed past the crowd, just as the bell rang for classes.
As the students dispersed, Kurt touched Rachel’s hand. She stood for a moment, perfectly still. Finally she broke, falling into Kurt’s arms and sobbing. She buried her face into his chest and continued to cry as he stroked her back. Above her, Kurt glanced at Sebastian. He simply nodded and moved to take Kurt’s bag. Giving Kurt one last look, Sebastian went to class.
Kurt pulled Rachel into an empty classroom, and sat them both on the desk in front. For twenty minutes, she just cried, clutching him closer as each wave of tears came.
This was ridiculous, Kurt thought bitterly. The system was supposed to make people like Rachel happy. She and Finn were supposed to be the example of how it did work. They were supposed to apply and be granted marriage, have kids after a year and then Rachel would succeed on Broadway just as they were entering elementary school. It was supposed to be perfect. What the hell was going on? Why would she be matched with Santana?
Rachel shifted in his arms, finally able to speak. She rasped, “Thank you.”
He smiled softly down at her. “Careful. Your voice is sounding a little worn.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled with a shrug. “They don’t let people audition unless they have a child. I’ll never have one now.”
“They might make an exception—“
“They never make exceptions Kurt!” She sat up, fresh tears shining in her eyes. “Don’t you get it? We’re done. We’ll never make it. I’ll never get out of here.”
Kurt was silent for a moment before speaking. “Well, let’s be honest. I was never going to make it. I didn’t have a chance from the moment that I registered gay. My only hope was to get out of here.”
“But you can still leave,” she pleaded with him.
“If I can convince Sebastian to leave,” he said. “And you can leave too. You can still come to New York with us.”
She violently shook her head. “I can’t do that. I just can’t Please don’t make me watch everyone succeed when I’ll never be able to.”
“Then skip New York! Rachel you’re marrying Santana. She may be a bitch but she has a heart. You’re going to be fine.”
“Like you’re fine Kurt?” she shot back.
Kurt was shocked. “What do you mean?”
“You think you’re fine and dandy with him, but are you really? Are you actually happy?”
He shook his head. “I gave up on happy when I was assigned to him.”
“But you deserve it Kurt! You deserve all that stupid love that the old books and plays talk about!” She was desperate now, and Kurt could see that she was clinging to any kind of hope, even if it wasn’t for her. But he just didn’t have that to give to her.
“Well I don’t get love Rachel. I get Sebastian, and that’s just going to have to be good enough.”
She stood, shaking her head. As she left, she said over her shoulder, “Why do we only ever get good enough?”
Glee club that day was quiet. Santana, Finn, and Rachel didn’t show up and those who did knew exactly what was going on. Mr. Schuester was in a meeting the whole time, talking to Rachel and Santana’s parents about what would happen next. Kurt was once again grateful that his father did all the research and work himself, instead of relying on the school or marriage officials to take care of it.
Kurt and Sebastian sat in their usual spot in the back, a little bit further from each other than usual. Every now and then, Sebastian would send Kurt a confused look.
Finally, he spoke. “So what are we going to do?”
The entire turned to give him a perplexed look. Tina asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, this is obviously going to ruin both of their lives. Shouldn’t we do something about it?”
Kurt shook his head. “But there’s nothing we can do about it. The match is set. You know that.” But he was touched that Sebastian was willing to get involved like this.
“Come on! There has to be a way to at least protest it, let them know that we don’t approve. Their parents certainly shouldn’t approve if they don’t like each other that much,” Sebastian said exasperated. “We should hide Santana if we can’t do that, move them to another town, or knock Rachel up-“
He was cut off by an angry crack. Puck had snapped the pen he’d been playing with. He stood and stormed out of the room without a glance back.
Sebastian scoffed. “Sorry he’s so bothered by it. I’m at least—“
Artie cut him off. “That’s not it newbie. Not that I’m ever against a little rebel rebel, but there’s just some things you don’t do in this town.”
Mercedes nodded. “Yeah, someone already tried that.”
“Tried what?” Sebastian asked.
Kurt responded, “We’re not really supposed to talk about it.” His voice was low and careful.
Sebastian frowned at him. “Who the fuck cares? We’re already screwed over.”
Kurt glanced around and settled his eyes on Rory and Sugar were watching them with interest. “It’s not something we can talk about with everyone here.” He glanced at Sebastian. “I’m not even supposed to tell you.”
Tina added. “And none of really know all the details.”
Sam nodded and said, “I wasn’t even here for it.”
“Just tell me.”
Kurt sighed. “Ok, well, Puck would be able to give you more details, but about two years ago Rachel and Finn weren’t dating. He was actually dating a girl named Quinn.”
Sebastian frowned at the name. “Have I met her?”
“No, she’s gone now. But she really wanted to marry Finn. He was pretty much everything to her. But then Finn started getting interested in Rachel. So she thought she was going to lose him. So Quinn did the only thing she could think of.”
“She slept with Finn?”
Kurt shook his head. “She slept with Puck because Finn was too scared of the system.”
“So what was sleeping with Puck going to get her? Did she want to marry him too?”
Tina shrugged. “We don’t know all of her logic. We just know she was trying to get pregnant.”
Sebastian nodded. “So she said it was Finn’s. How did she pull that off if he wouldn’t sleep with her?”
Kurt smirked at him. “I’m sure you’re aware that Finn isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Whatever she said, he believed her.”
“But the system didn’t,” Mercedes interjected. “So they demanded a DNA test.”
“We’re pretty sure that they wanted to match them, if they were compatible. But the test came back as Puck’s, so they started demanding that she marry him,” Kurt continued.
“But she didn’t like Puck so she was fighting it,” Mike said.
“Got to admit, there were some pretty impressive fights,” Mercedes said with a small laugh.
“So where is she now?” Sebastian asked.
Kurt shrugged. “No one knows. She disappeared right before regionals that year. She was seven months pregnant and a week away from being forced to marry Puck.” He shook his head. “And she was just gone.”
“Came in so excited one day, saying something about a letter from Anderson and we never saw her again,” Mercedes said.
“We think the Senator tossed her into some sort of prison, cause he came to see us later, saying we weren’t ever to mention her again,” Kurt added.
Sebastian stared at him incredulously. “What so you don’t?”
Kurt bit his lip, obviously uncomfortable with the question. “You mean talk about her? No we don’t. We don’t—“
“You don’t what? Want to talk about a girl who was kidnapped by the system? You just want to forget about it because they told you to?” Sebastian stood, glaring at all of them. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Kurt stood as well. “There is nothing wrong with us! What did you want us to do? Risk our own lives and families? There wasn’t anything we could do!”
“You could have said something! This shouldn’t be the absolute end for us! Oh, just do what they say, marry and fuck whoever they tell you so just because they say so!”
The room was silent after his outburst, with Kurt standing in shock. He had never seen Sebastian like this. He had seen him defensive about being part of the system, but never with this much rage. It was almost too much to handle. He wanted his smirking husband back again, the one who stole the sheets and dripped tea on his pillow just to make him mad.
“Sebastian,” he said softly.
His husband shook his head and grabbed his bag. Kurt could just barely hear him mutter, “Fucking sheep,” as he stared at the floor.
Non one dared to speak after his outburst. Kurt glanced at Mercedes, wondering if he should speak to him. She shook her head minutely at him.
Finally, Sugar spoke. “Well, you just don’t get it. There’s nothing wrong with the system.”
Sebastian opened his mouth to speak, but Kurt beat him to it. “Sugar, if there was nothing wrong with it, then no one would be hurt by it.”
“But no one is hurt by it. That’s what daddy says.”
“I don’t know,” Rory replied uncertainly. “We don’t really have it in Ireland, not like this. You can either apply for the British System or ask for your own license. A lot more people seem happy with it.” He shrugged. “My parents picked their own. I think they love each other.”
Sebastian nodded at him. “And that’s the point. That they’re allowed to love each other. They don’t have to live a fucking lie.”
Kurt sucked in his breath. Sebastian was entitled to think whatever he wanted to. And it wasn’t like they were in live. He wasn’t that lucky. They were just husbands. Sebastian was right. There was no reason to be hurt by it.
Sebastian heard him and turned on him, face full of anger. “What did you think this was, Kurt? Did you think that I fucked you all those times because we’re meant to be?” His voice was rising now, unaware of the uncomfortable shuffling in the room. “Do you have any idea how fucked up all of this is Kurt? God, just look at your little Irish pet over there. That’s real! He might be ignorant, tiny and frankly more than just little weak, but he’s fucking real! His parents are real too! None of this is real. You wouldn’t know real love if it slapped out in the face!” He panted as he took a breath. “And the worst part is that I thought it was for a moment. I thought I was content. Fuck, I thought I was happy with you. But that’s just giving in, isn’t it? Letting them pick who I live with, who I eat dinner with, who I sleep with, and who I fuck! So guess what Kurt? I don’t care about you. I don’t care about your fucked up, weak, system loving friends. There is something wrong with you! She was your friend, wasn’t she?” He didn’t wait for a reply before he continued. “Well, you let the system destroy her because she wanted a choice. So bravo slaves, bravo.”
He gave a slight bow, flicked off the group and left.
Kurt swallowed and watched the empty hallway for a second, then slowly turned to Mercedes.
“Can I get a ride home?” It was all he could say, all he could manage. Because Sebastian was right. There was something so wrong with what had happened to Quinn, and they had let it happen. Were they monsters? Slaves giving in? He also didn’t want to admit how much it hurt that Sebastian didn’t care about their relationship. It was all just a product of the system, right?
Fuck, Sebastian was right.
As the night road slipped past his wheels, Sebastian wished that he didn’t feel so guilty about stealing Kurt’s car. He had friends to drive him home and it wasn’t like Sebastian was going to leave him forever. And that was the kicker, wasn’t it? That he couldn’t leave him forever. Oh, he could leave and live on the run. Hell, it sounded almost perfect at the moment. But Kurt would take the fall if he did, and Sebastian certainly wasn’t as heartless as the rest of that stupid club.
Sebastian glowered at the thought as he pulled into a parking lot off to the side. It was empty and quiet, as well as several hours away from Lima. It was perfect. He had been driving for at least four hours, leaving Lima behind ages ago, and trying not to think about it. Instead, he sang along with the radio, humming to Kurt’s cd’s when he couldn’t find a station he liked, and counting road signs when that failed to distract him. But now, as the car finally drifted to a stop, crunching in the gravel, Sebastian felt his thoughts crash upon him. It was as if they had been following him, trailing like cans behind the vehicle. Sebastian was overwhelmed by them, and dropped his head to the steering wheel.
God, how could they let that happen to that girl? He didn’t even know her and Sebastian still felt like he would have done more than that group of cowards had. He would have done something, made a stir, made sure that the entire town knew how wrong it was, no matter the cost.
No matter the cost.
Sebastian was stuck on that. Because what would it cost him to rebel like that? That’s what he was talking about, wasn’t it? Rebelling, fighting back against a system that had been born out of desperation and was now only obeyed because of fear. What would it cost him? It wasn’t like he had anyone to lose, except for maybe Kurt.
He bit his lip at the thought. Could they kill Kurt? Make him disappear? They had already done it to that Quinn girl. How had they done that? Taken a girl who had friends and family and made her cease to exist?
It was fear, Sebastian realized. Nothing but pure fear that drove these people to obey and marry and fuck against their will. And hadn’t he done the same thing? Maybe not for himself, but because he saw that same fear in Kurt’s eyes after the Senator threatened his family. He had just wanted that fear gone from those beautiful eyes, replaced with lust if he really had his way.
But that terror was back again. He had seen it when Kurt walked into their French class that morning, his perfect features stained with tear tracks. There had been something else there as well, a hollow look that almost broke his heart.
And he had just made it worse.
He had yelled at them, calling them cowards for something they couldn’t control. Fuck, he told Kurt how much he didn’t care about him. And it was stupid, but that was what he regretted the most. Somewhere along the past few weeks he had started to care about Kurt, wanting to make him smile and cuddle up to him at night after they had exhausted themselves. He wanted Kurt to laugh with him when they watched a movie together on the computer, wrapped up in that tiny bed. It was silly, but Kurt was the only decent thing in his life, and god, he had just taken all of his anger out on him.
Sebastian knew what he was really mad about. It was the system, vast and controlling and towering over all of them. And there was no escape. Sooner or later, everyone would fall victim to it, and live out half-lives, never falling in love and reproducing like animals.
He remembered the first time he and Kurt had been required to give their monthly semen donation, their deposit into the system he called it. The room they were led to had been bright and sterile, with a few magazines lying around and soft classical music playing. Kurt had been blushing red the entire time and it was so adorable that Sebastian had wanted to kiss him right on the lips. But he refused to show the system any sort of affection when it came to this. They were supposed to love giving to the system and only love someone for their ability to give to it as well. Straight couples were told that only children would make them fall in love. So for them, Sebastian supposed that they were supposed to fall in love for this, giving to the system. But he refused to show them that he cared for Kurt, not then. They had done it, masturbated together to fill their plastic cups like machines. They gave to the system, and somewhere out in the world, there may be a child of theirs, being raised to worship the Senator. The only bright side to the experience was when Kurt had caught his eye, hand fisting over himself rapidly. Sebastian had known what he was saying, that it was ok, that he wasn’t alone, and that he understood.
Sebastian had come just from that look.
But it still had been disgusting, base and crass and what the hell was wrong with their brains that they could demand something like that from people?
Sebastian huffed and climbed out of the car, slamming the door. He walked across the parking lot to the building at the end, taking deep breaths of the chill night air. He had come to a historic site, he noticed, the birth home of Lincoln. With a shock, he realized that he’d driven all the way to Kentucky. He hadn’t been paying attention to the mileage, and frankly he was a little worried about how long he had been gone. Would Kurt be worried? Most likely not. Not after what he said to him. But it was nice to be in a historic place, built before people let themselves be sold into married for the sake of children. If he didn’t love modern technology, he would wish to live in the past.
Sebastian blinked and narrowed his eyes. There was someone leaning against the building, a dark hooded figure that stood up straight as Sebastian came closer. The figure raised a hand in greeting.
Sebastian nodded at him, but glanced to the side warily. It would be his luck to find a friendly murderer here.
The person came closer and stopped under the only lamp in the parking lot. When he pulled off his hood, Sebastian took in his features clearly. He was stocky, much shorter than Sebastian was, with tinted skin and dark curls. There was a boyish hopefulness in his eyes, as well as something deeper, a responsibility that didn’t match his obvious innocence.
Sebastian stayed silent as he stood before him, fingering the keys in his pocket. He had left the car unlocked; what if someone was stealing it now?
The young man spoke. “So, what are you looking for?”
Sebastian was taken back. “I’m not looking for anything. Who are you?”
He held out his hand to shake. “I’m B. Are you sure…?” He trailed off, obviously nervous now.
Sebastian glared down at the offered hand. He certainly wasn’t going to shake it. But something caught his eye. “Is that a Dalton tie?” he asked incredulously. The tie was wrapped around his wrist, completely out of place with the dark attire. “Do you go there?”
“Well, yes, I mean, I did once, a long time ago.” B was shaken by the question. “Are you sure you’re not looking for anything? Cause I’m kinda supposed to…”
Sebastian laughed fully at him. “Wow, no. Sorry, but while I usually go for boyish innocence like you, the extra dash of crazy just doesn’t do it for me.”
“What? No! That’s not what I meant!” The boy was fully flailing now, much to Sebastian’s joy.
“Ok, well I don’t think I could anyway. I pissed off my husband enough today. Sleeping with a crazy homeless guy might make for a good story, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be amused.”
“I’m not looking for sex!” B yelled, his face beet red even under the low light. He pulled back, realizing how loud he had shouted. “Shoot, I have to—I have to go.”
Sebastian waved him off, still smiling as B bolted around the house and disappeared. But it soon slipped away. He still had a long drive home, and Kurt waiting for him, hopefully.
It was time to go home and apologize.
Kurt wished that he had been asleep when Sebastian finally slipped into their apartment. Oh, he was making a fine show of it by showering, brushing his teeth and finally crawling into bed and flicking off the light above it. He’d done everything that he could to pretend that this was a normal Tuesday night. But the second that he was lying in the dark, Kurt couldn’t sleep. Instead, he closed his eyes and pretended that he wasn’t listening intently for the door.
Glee had ended after Sebastian left, with everyone too upset to do anything productive. No one wanted to practice for Regionals; the songs of love and devotion seemed trite and useless. So they went home, Kurt with Sam and Mercedes to watch a slew of musicals and action movies. If the couple noticed how tightly he held his cellphone, they didn’t say anything.
Kurt didn’t want to think about why he was worried. It had been almost nine hours since he last saw Sebastian, a long time to still be driving around such a small town. He tried to tell himself that it was just because his husband had the car, but there was more to it that than. There was a tight burning in his chest when he thought of Sebastian out in the middle of the night, angry and alone. Who did he have, other than Kurt? It was one of the most shocking things about Sebastian; he never seemed to want to make friends. Was he happy with just Kurt? Were they even friends? Kurt wondered.
Either way, he needed him home. So when the door finally clicked open, Kurt felt his heart sag with relief. He heard Sebastian moving through the dark, dropping his wallet by the door and toeing off his shoes. He went into the bathroom for a minute, ran the water and came back. Kurt was hyper aware of how his shirt dropped and then his pants. All too soon, Sebastian was climbing up into the bed, carefully moving over Kurt to his side.
It was silent for moment, until Sebastian spoke. “Kurt?”
He didn’t answer.
“Kurt, are you awake?” He reached his hand out to brush his hair, and Kurt jerked back instinctively. “You are,” Sebastian said with a touch of sadness.
“Yes, well you should learn to be quiet at night,” Kurt finally responded, making sure to fill his voice with as much venom as possible.
Sebastian sank back into the wall. “I’m sorry; I was trying to be quiet.” Kurt heard his swallow. “Can we talk?”
“It’s two in the morning. I don’t want to talk.”
“But you know the time. You didn’t move and you know the time… Kurt, were you waiting for me?”
Kurt didn’t answer right away. He wasn’t ready to give in, to give up everything to Sebastian just so he could hurt him again. But he couldn’t lie about this. “Well, you took my car.”
“I brought it back just fine. I even filled up the tank when it got empty.” Sebastian was creeping closer.
That thought gave Kurt pause. “Wait, when it was empty? It was full this morning.”
Sebastian sounded sheepish as he responded. “I might have driven pretty far.”
“Like how far?”
“Maybe into Kentucky?”
Kurt flipped around, finally looking at Sebastian. It was dark, so he couldn’t see Sebastian at all, but he could feel him, the heat from his body seeping into the sheets and his breath gently touching his cheek. “You jerk! Do you know how much maintenance with have to go into it after a trip like that?”
Sebastian ducked his head. “I guess not. Like I said, I’m sorry.”
Kurt huffed. “Fine, but you’re paying my dad for it.”
“No, Kurt.” He reached out, needing to express himself through touch as well as words, but Kurt still recoiled from him. “I didn’t just mean that I’m sorry for the car. I meant that I’m sorry about what I said this afternoon. When I said that I didn’t care about you.”
Kurt curled back in on himself. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re entitled to think that you want about this marriage.”
“You’re right, this isn’t real.”
“Kurt, stop.” Sebastian did reach him this time and tucked his hand around Kurt’s forearm, with his thumb rubbing him gently. “I’m sorry because it was a lie. I do care about you, more than I ever wanted to.”
Kurt didn’t want to listen to this, not when he knew what Sebastian was looking for. “You don’t have to lie. I’ll still sleep with you. I think we’ve established that I like it too. So stop worrying about that.” His voice was dull and emotionless; this felt too much like selling himself, trading sex for peace and giving up on hope for a little bit of safety.
“Damnit, Kurt, will you just listen to me?” Kurt jumped at the anger in his husband’s voice. He had grown used to the soothing pleas. “That’s not what I’m talking about and frankly I don’t want to sleep with you if that’s all you think this is!”
Kurt was shocked. “Ok, now I’m really confused.” But he didn’t move, letting Sebastian continue to touch him softly, in such contrast to the passion in his voice.
“You’re only confused because you refuse to believe that I actually care about you. You refuse to accept that you might be more to me than just a convenient fuck. And you’re not Kurt. You never have been. Yes, I was looking forward to sex as a benefit of marriage, and honestly I thought that was all I wanted out of life, just sex and on night stands. The way we are together is different, and I thought this was more than just a plus. You make it a hell of a lot of work for just a bonus.” Sebastian moved closer now, wrapping his entire arm around Kurt and speaking into his shoulder. “I thought we were working together as some kind of team, giving each other what we need, either emotionally or physically or whatever was necessary at the time. We don’t really have anyone else we can rely on, so I thought we were relying on each other. I thought we were a little more than that,” he finished, a little soft and broken.
Kurt bit back his reply, hoping to cover the tears starting to well. “You’re the one who said you didn’t care about me.”
“I know I did, and god, Kurt I’m sorry for that. I was angry at the system and frankly a little scared that all of this mess with Rachel and Santana was somehow our fault. Damnit, Kurt I still feel like your whole life right now is my fault.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I hadn’t married you, you’d be gone already, not still trapped here. If I had just stayed in Paris, things would have been fine.”
Kurt shook his head. “Everything is fine, as fine as they can be here. We don’t need to feel guilty for each other.” Because he did feel bad for Sebastian, felt like he wasn’t good enough for him, not strong enough. He wasn’t enough for someone like Sebastian. It was the kind of thought that kept him awake long after Sebastian had drifted off, the bed still smelling like sex.
“Kurt if you feel guilty for me in any way then it is not fine at all. It’s not alright and it never will be. I just-” Sebastian dropped his head and took a deep breath, overwhelming himself with the scent of Kurt. “I want us to be a little more than that. More than just feeling stuck together. Because that will always be true, we will always be stuck together and there is no one who will ever tell us differently. But I’ll be damned if I let the system be the basis for my marriage. I’ve seen relationships a thousand times better than that and I want that kind of love.”
Swallowing, Kurt almost couldn’t speak. “What are you saying? Do you mean you…?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? Not yet at least,” Sebastian mumbled into Kurt’s skin, as his face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m just asking to, I don’t know, try. Try something different and be married for different reasons. Be married for us instead of for the government. Can we try? Can we try to have more?”
Kurt was biting his lip, forcing himself not to cry. This was almost exactly what he had dreamed of hearing his future husband say, albeit with different circumstances. But hearing it from Sebastian felt so much different; it felt real and a little frightening. It was as if he was taking a step from playing house and fucking around into something real and unknown. It felt like such a mystery, a partnership based on affection and care, instead of submission and brainless production. Sebastian was right. If they were going to do this, make this into some sort of connection between them, they would be completely alone. There was no marriage like this in all of western civilization; there hadn’t been for over a century. Kurt was standing on a precipice of choice and Sebastian was waiting for the answer.
But what could he say? Tell Sebastian that he would try and fall in love with him, just because he was the only option? Love was different; it was flowers and candy and poetry, romantic songs whispered into the night. It was a sudden fall into passion, not a carefully planned future. Kurt had wanted to fall in love with his husband, love at first site and a romance that took him across the country. He wanted it full of sweet kisses, holding hands and long looks of adoration. Kurt tried to imagine Sebastian giving him those kinds of looks, loving and sweet. He almost laughed out loud at the thought. But Sebastian was still waiting, breathing patiently next to him. Kurt needed to answer him.
“If we do this, I don’t want any more secrets from you,” Kurt said slowly, hoping to prolong the time. “And I don’t want you acting like a fool by trying to woo me at school again,” he added with a small smile.
“Agreed. No more silliness at school.” Kurt could hear the mirth in Sebastian’s voice.
“And if you ever run away with my baby again, I reserve the right to set fire to all of your clothes and replace them with all of the latest and greatest female fashion trends.”
“You’re cruel,” Sebastian replied, snuggling closer. “So is this a yes?” he asked, his voice serious and a little cautious once more.
Kurt took a deep breath and slowly nodded. “We’ll try it. Just try it, mind you, but we will see if this works.” He couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. This sort of thing was exactly what the system forbade. While they encouraged couples to love each other it was solely supposed to be for the benefit of the system. You only fell in love when you had your first child, because people who loved each other made better parents, according to the propaganda. But choosing love for yourself was almost traitorous. Kurt gave a nervous chuckle. “So how do we start this?”
Sebastian shrugged. “I think we should start it by sleeping in and spending the whole day reacquainting ourselves with each other. In fact, let’s start now.” He kissed his shoulder, a short peck to prove his point.
“I think we should go to sleep because I’m not missing school tomorrow. You can stay home, if you want, and reacquaint yourself with your hand.”
“Kurt, why not?” Sebastian whined.
“Because we have important things to do in glee. Other than that, I’d be happy to skip with you. It’s almost three in the morning,” Kurt answered with a groan.
Sebastian sighed. “Fine, we’ll get some sleep while we can.” He clutched Kurt closer to him.
Kurt smiled at the feeling. It was safe and he felt himself start to drift off. “Good night Sebastian.”
“Good night Kurt,” Sebastian replied. “Oh! There was something I wanted to tell you!” He was still tired, but he had to say it, before they slept.
“What now?” Kurt sighed.
“I met a homeless guy and he tried to get me to fuck him.”
Kurt took a second to process that, before he started to laugh. “And you didn’t?”
Sebastian shrugged. “Well, I didn’t think you’d be too happy.”
“I might have been happy about it if you videotaped it for proof.”
“Why do you want proof?”
“So we can sell the tape to Hollywood. That sounds right up their alley. Sexually active teens in the night.”
“You make me sound like a whore.”
“I never said that,” Kurt said with a thick yawn.
“Let’s see, having sex and then selling the tape for money. Sounds like a whore to me. Am I missing something?”
“You usually do.” Kurt felt himself drifting off, a smile resting on his face.
“Fine.” Sebastian said with a pout, before leaning up and kissing Kurt on the cheek. “Good night.”
Kurt woke up slowly, taking in the sound of soft breathing next to him. The room was gently lit by the sun behind the curtains. He was sprawled on his back with the bedspread thrown to the side. But he wasn’t cold, due to how tightly Sebastian was wrapped around him. Kurt sighed and took a deep breath and arched off the mattress slightly to stretch. Sebastian grumbled and curled deeper into Kurt’s side, nuzzling him slightly. Kurt couldn’t help but smile down at him.
Kurt woke up more, as a frown graced his face and he glanced frantically around the room. “Oh my God,” he muttered as he pushed Sebastian off of him to jump out of bed. Ignoring his husband’s sleepy protests, Kurt snatched up his phone to check the time.
“Sebastian!” he shouted angrily at the lump still curled up on the bed. “It’s ten in the morning!” Kurt couldn’t believe he had slept through his alarm; he had never done that before.
“Good, we can get more sleep,” Sebastian mumbled into the pillow. “Come back to bed.”
A slow realization washed over Kurt. “Sebastian,” he said, low and dangerous as he approached the bed. “Did you turn off my alarm?” He slowly climbed onto the bed, kneeing on the edge of the mattress.
“Of course I did. I wanted to-“ He couldn’t finish, as Kurt yelled in frustration.
“Sebastian! You jerk!” he shouted as he ripped the pillow from under Sebastian’s head and started beating his cowering husband with it. It certainly wasn’t enough to hurt him, but it was endless and obviously annoying to Sebastian, which cheered Kurt considerably.
“Damnit Kurt-“ Sebastian sputtered, trying to free himself from the onslaught. Finally, he caught one of Kurt’s hands and tugged him down. Sebastian grabbed the comforter and wrapped it as fast as he could around Kurt, tucking the ends under his body and trapping him there. Kurt couldn’t help but flash back to their first morning together, especially when Sebastian muttered, “Hold still,” in his ear in a voice still ragged from sleep.
Kurt jerked around, struggling to free himself, gasping out, “No way! Damnit, let me go!” Kurt fought for a moment longer, then huffed as he realized how tight Sebastian’s hold was. “You jack ass,” he snapped at him. “I told you how important today was.”
“No Kurt, you told me how important Glee was today. And we have plenty of time for that. You said you didn’t care about the rest of the day.”
Kurt scowled at him and refused to speak or admit that he was right.
Sebastian continued, “I was planning on sleeping all day, but you just had to wake us up, didn’t you?”
Kurt caved. “Well, excuse me for caring about my education.”
“You’re excused.” Sebastian ducked his head to brush a kiss across Kurt’s lips, startling him. Sebastian had been oddly affectionate all morning, soft and kind even for someone who was being beaten up. Kurt didn’t know where to stand with this sweet husband of his. She he try and fight him, bring out words and old wounds, just to get back where he was comfortable, or should he try and be as kind as he was?
Blushing, Kurt asked, “What was that for?”
He could feel Sebastian shrugging below him as he answered. “We were planning on falling in love. I think kissing is a pretty good start.” Sebastian ducked down and kissed him again, starting at his lips and moving down to his neck, pulling the sheets away as he needed to.
Kurt arched his head back, giving Sebastian more room, but still he said, “Don’t think you’re going to get away with this just because you kiss well.” And it was oddly comforting, being kissed like this, the same way that Kurt had woken up before, when Sebastian had kissed him away on Sunday mornings, hard and needy against him. Was this what falling in love was, kissing and screwing and waking up together? Kurt had to think that there was something more, or else he would have to consider the fact that he and Sebastian had been doing just that since their second week together.
“So you admit that I’m good at it,” Sebastian mumbled into his skin as he tugged the blanket away completely. He was sure that Kurt wasn’t going to run away, not with how he was simply giving himself to Sebastian. He just hoped that this wasn’t an act and he would whip out the pillow again.
“I admit that you should keep kissing me,” Kurt replied, spreading himself open for Sebastian to taste.
Sebastian wasn’t about to argue. So he did just that; he kissed Kurt in every place he could find, stripping him of his pajamas and pressing his lips to every spot that Kurt kept hidden from the world. There was still doubt lingering between them, and Sebastian wanted it gone. He just wanted to be relaxed with Kurt, happy and safe; was he being silly for wanting something so simply? There was so much wrong with the world, so much that he wanted to change, but for now Sebastian just wanted Kurt.
As Sebastian sucked him slowly, carefully driving away all of the sanity from his mind, Kurt knew that he wasn’t going to last long. He was still tired from the night before and tense from yesterday, though Sebastian was doing a wonderful job of soothing him with his tongue. With pleasure coursing through him, Kurt quickly tipped over the edge, moaning loudly as Sebastian swallowed his come.
Sebastian rose, leaning up against him to kiss him, filthy and languid. Kurt’s hands circled his waist, pulling his hips toward him. Sebastian slipped between his legs and pressed against him hard. Kurt was still slick from saliva and sweat, making it easy for Sebastian to thrust against him, fast and desperate for the first time that day. He didn’t break the kiss either, only coming up to breath harshly into Kurt’s mouth when he needed to. He came like that, hands wrapped around Kurt’s shoulders, hips aligned and pressed hot and perfect together and lips locked, kissing for all they were worth. It felt like the whole world and for a moment, it was just enough. Together, they drifted into sleep.
Kurt jumped awake as the doorbell rang. Above him, Sebastian grunted, telling him to leave it. Poking him in the side, Kurt said, “Last time we ignored someone, look what happened. I’m not doing it again.”
Sebastian huffed, but he still rolled off of Kurt, grimacing at the stickiness between them. He muttered, “Yeah, cause it was our fault that Rachel and Santana got matched. Cause we were fucking.”
“I guess that means we shouldn’t fuck anymore,” Kurt responded tartly while he grabbed a robe on the way to the door. Peeking through the door, he called back, “It’s Rachel. Get dressed. And don’t you dare tell me not to let her in.”
“I’m not, I’m not,” he sighed on his way down from the bed. He grabbed his pants and slipped into the bathroom.
As soon as he was gone, Kurt opened the door. “Hey,” he greeted, smiling softly at her.
Rachel looked terrible, to say the least. And not in the sheltered ten-year-old’s fashion sort of way. She was wearing jeans and an old tee-shirt, something Kurt didn’t think she even owned. She hadn’t bothered with make-up. Her hair was lying flat and dull, still a little tangled from the night before. But it was her face where the real trouble showed. There were tear tracks marring her cheeks, just under bright red eyes. She must have been crying all night long to look like this. The worst was the smile she gave Kurt, slow and heavy and obviously painful. But there was an anxious hope in her eyes, filling Kurt with the need to make everything better.
“Hey Kurt,” she said softly. Her voice was still a little raspy and quiet. “You weren’t in class so I picked up your homework.” She blinked at him. “Why are you wearing your bathrobe?”
Kurt knew that he was blushing and desperately tried not to meet her eyes. “Well, I was just sleeping in…”
Sebastian chose that moment to exit the bathroom, giving Rachel the perfect view of his husband wearing nothing but boxers and low slung jeans.
She laughed quietly and said, “I’m sure you’re having a good time playing hooky.”
Kurt scowled and motioned her in, saying as he did, “Well, if someone hadn’t come home at two in the morning last night, I wouldn’t have had to miss school.”
“That’s nice babe,” Sebastian called in the middle of rearranging the sheets on the bed.
Kurt rolled his eyes and sat Rachel down on one of the chairs. She moved too easily, following his motions like a dead puppet. “I’m going to change. Stay here and try not to talk to him. This is for your own good.” Kurt snagged his clothes from the closet and went to the shower.
When he came back, he was momentarily greeted by an empty room. It wasn’t until he turned to look at the bed that he found his husband and best friend. They were sitting on the covers with Sebastian’s laptop open in front of them. They spoke to each other in hushed voices.
Sebastian said, “Why can’t I just pick a horror movie? Killing always makes people feel better.”
“Because that makes you a wanna be murderer,” Kurt responded with a roll of his eyes. He went to the bookshelf and pulled out his copy of Les Miserables. He climbed into the bed just in time to see the sage nod of agreement momentarily cover the look of misery on Rachel’s face. He crawled across Sebastian and settled in between them.
“TAC?” he asked, enjoying the pleased noise she made in response, as well as the grumble from behind him.
Sebastian rolled his eyes, saying, “I would have gotten to musicals eventually.”
“I’m sure you would have, because you’ve known Rachel for years and have spent countless hours going over movies and music for every situation. Now be a good boy and make us some breakfast.” Kurt slid the DVD in and wrapped an arm around his friend. The sound of crinkling plastic and the microwave distracted him from the opening score. “Really?” he asked. “Popcorn? I said breakfast.”
“It’s almost noon and I don’t care.”
“Make sure there’s no butter on it,” Rachel called out, snuggling deeper into Kurt.
When Sebastian came back, he set the bowl between Kurt’s legs and wrapped his arms around him. They sat like that through the first act, silent save for Rachel and Kurt singing along. But it was a heavy silence, not as relaxing as it should have been and full of things that needed to be said.
Eventually, Kurt broke, speaking softly over the show. “You know you’re going to have to figure all of this out.”
Rachel whined, “Can’t I pretend for a little longer?”
“No you can’t, because we are going to Glee today. We have to practice for Regionals.”
“What does it matter? I’m not going anywhere so why should I bother singing anymore?”
Kurt poked her. “Two reasons. One, don’t you dare let everyone else down. You may have given up-”
“I have not given up!”
“Really?” Kurt asked incredulously. “Because I see someone who has decided that nothing is important. Someone who dropped all of her dreams in one day because of something you couldn’t control. So yes, you have given up Berry.”
She was silent, but Kurt could feel her shaking in his arms, trying not to cry.
“As I was saying,” he continued. “We all still want to win, so it would be terrible to lose our star singer just three days before the performance. And two, we’re going to change all of our songs to protest all of this.”
She turned, stunned. “But that could get us in a lot of trouble.”
Sebastian scoffed, finally giving his input. “It’s just show choir. Since when has that had any impact on politics?”
“Exactly,” Kurt agreed. “We want to protest without getting in a lot of trouble so this seemed like a good chance. We need you there this afternoon to practice.” He eyed her critically. “That means we’re going to have to do something serious for you soon, cause you look terrible.”
“Don’t be mean Kurt.”
“Since when have I ever been anything but honest with you?”
Rachel gave a small laugh and nodded in agreement, her eyes drifting back to the screen. After a second she spoke, her voice somber again. “Is Santana going to be there?”
Kurt nodded. “She should be. We texted her that she has to come. You, she and I will have solos, as well as Sebastian. She had better show or she’s not getting it.”
“What am I going to say to her when we get there?” she asked, her voice soft and frightened again.
Kurt hesitated before answering her. “I think you need to talk to her before you get there. This is not something you want the whole club to see.”
Sebastian added, “There’s already too many people involved in your marriage. Don’t add to it.”
She leaned forward, so she could face both of them. “So what should I do?”
Glancing back, Kurt said carefully, “I think we should have Santana come over now.” Behind him, Sebastian nodded in agreement.
“Now?” Rachel screeched. “You didn’t invite her yet, did you?”
“No I didn’t, but I really think that I should. You two need to talk about what you’re going to do.”
A moment passed, with only the sound of the movie echoing in the small room. Finally, Rachel spoke. “Fine, but if she kills me you’re in charge of making my funeral fabulous.”
“Sure dear,” Kurt answered with a grin. “Now get up and get into the bathroom. I have to make you presentable, don’t I?”
After Rachel was showered and dressed in an outfit of Kurt’s (and Kurt ignored the snickers from Sebastian) they texted Santana and waited. As the minutes dragged on, Rachel could not be kept still. She paced and ranted, while Kurt and Sebastian did their homework at the table.
“What if she doesn’t come? What if she doesn’t want to listen?”
Sebastian held back a laugh and leaned forward to whisper in Kurt ear,” What if her nose falls off and the sky turns red?”
Kurt bit his lips, trying not to laugh and refusing to look up and meet his eyes.
Sebastian continued, more serious this time. “Really though, when did we become in charge of their relationship? I was content to just watch.”
“Do you really just want to watch, or are you afraid to get involved? Cause I thought you were mad at us for not getting involved in things.”
“I meant for us to actually protest this, not become marriage counselors. We’re still figuring out our own marriage; what makes you think we can fix theirs?”
“Nothing, ok? I don’t have anything I’m positive about, except that I can’t stand watching them fight.”
“Hey!” Rachel cried, with her hands on her hips. “Are you even listening to me?”
“Nope,” Sebastian said, backing away from Kurt. “And I’m not planning to as long as you’re going to sit and worry for no reason like that.”
“I am not-”
“You’re right. Sorry, you’re standing.”
Rachel’s shriek of indignation was cut off by the bell ringing. She stared in shock at the door as Sebastian rose to answer it. The air was thick with anticipation and Kurt felt Rachel grab his shoulder as the door swung open.
“Santana,” Sebastian said, cool and relaxed.
“Sebastian,” they heard her reply.
“Come on in; I’m sure we have a lot to talk about.” Sebastian stepped back to let her in and closed the door behind her.
“You know, this calm and polite side of you would be scary if I didn’t know that it was all an act.” Santana stepped into the living room after toeing off her boots in the entry way. She didn’t look as broken as Rachel had; it was the opposite. She had skipped her usual Cheerios uniform in favor of a blood red shirt and black leather pants. Her hair was down and slightly pushed forward to hide half of her perfectly made up face. Kurt felt like he was looking at a wall of leather and satin, held together with hair spray and black eye liner. He wondered how long it would take for it to crumble.
“So what am I here for? I thought I made my point pretty damn clear last time. I don’t want anything to do with this.” She spoke only to Kurt and Sebastian, her eyes never straying to the woman she was going to marry.
“Ok,” Sebastian said lightly, moving to lean against the bed. “Then leave. Run away and let Rachel marry Finn.”
“That’s not what I said,” she growled at him. “I’m just not marrying that harpy.”
“Then you will have to leave Santana,” Kurt said softly. “You know as well as we do that you can’t avoid marriage like that. You know what happens.” The reference was obvious, making Rachel squirm and Santana glance down in shame.
“Why can’t she just change her preference?” Santana barked.
“Oh, when has that ever worked?” Kurt snapped. “When have they ever let you get out of marrying someone after they picked it? The match is set, so you two had better learn how to be adults before the wedding. Because the fighting we saw yesterday? It gets a hell of a lot worse when you live together.” Kurt knew that it didn’t make sense to get upset over this; he should just sit back and let them talk. But he certainly didn’t want to watch a bloodbath in his living room, and he cared too much about his friends to let that happen.
“It’s a lot harder to make up too,” Sebastian added.
“I wouldn’t have to be an adult if this high-pitched bitch would just stay on her side of the fence.” She sneered in Rachel’s direction. “Are you happy now? Are you proud of how diverse you are? Did your stunt make your daddies happy?”
“It may have been to make them happy, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for me to love a woman!” Rachel cried, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face.
“Oh yeah? And when have you ever had the chance to love a woman? Was it between you and Finn’s tragically stupid break ups? Oh I can just picture it; each time he left you because he couldn’t deal with the slushies you turned goo-goo eyes on some Broadway starlet. You-”
“I did love someone!”
Kurt looked at her in shock. “I thought you only loved Finn.” He couldn’t help but feel a small spark of anger; he was too loyal to his brother to hear this without feeling a little upset. But Rachel had obviously never acted on it, so there was nothing to really be angry about.
“I promised I wouldn’t say anything,” Rachel said quietly, not meeting anyone’s eyes.
Santana stepped closer and jabbed her hard in the chest. “You had better tell Berry, or I’ll make your life a living hell.”
Rachel gazed at her, steady for once that day. “I thought you were going to make my life hell anyway.”
Santana blushed and glanced down. “Of course I was.”
Behind them, Kurt gave Sebastian a small smile. Finally, some progress.
Rachel sighed and sank into the chair behind her. “I was in love with Quinn.”
Kurt gasped, and Sebastian grabbed his hand to keep him from saying anything. This was not the time to get involved.
Santana gaped at Rachel. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly. I thought you just said you were in love with Quinn. As in Quinn Fabray, ex-head cheerleader, mommy dearest and now thoroughly gone from this world.”
“I told her about it before I knew she was pregnant. I guess it was just a crush or something, but at the time I really thought I loved her. She swore me to secrecy though. I guess it was because of the baby. But she never said no.” Rachel was twiddling her hands with a wistful expression on her face. “When I registered, I was partly doing it for my dads and partly because…” She bit her lip before speaking. “Partly because I always wished she would pick girls too. I wished she would pick me too. Obviously, she didn’t,” Rachel finished, swallowing to keep from crying again. “So yes, I am perfectly capable of loving a woman. So don’t you dare tell me my choice was flippant or for no reason.”
Santana was stunned into silence.
After a moment, Kurt spoke up. “Ok, so we’ve gotten over Rachel’s choice. The question is, will you two make this work?”
Rachel answered, “Of course I will. It’s up to her. I thought we were friends of some kind at least.”
“We were friends until you ruined my love life,” Santana snapped.
“Santana!” Kurt yelled.
“Sorry, old habits!” Santana threw up her hands in frustration and took a breath. “Yeah, I guess we are friends.”
“You’re going to be a hell of a lot more,” Sebastian added. “Can you handle that?”
Santana shrugged. “As long as she doesn’t sing while we’re doing the nasty, I’ll be fine.”
“Oh, but darling, I have the perfect song for it!” Rachel said with a short giggle.
“You’re going to be singing alone in the dark,” Santana snapped, but there was no anger in her voice anymore.
“Ok, you’re joking about it. I think they’re going to be fine,” Sebastian said with a laugh.
“Good,” Kurt replied. “We can talk about Regionals.”
“What do we have to talk about?” Santana asked. We just have to rehearse.”
“We do have to rehearse, but we’re changing the songs,” Kurt told her. “We don’t feel right about this and we want to protest in the best way we know, through music.”
Rachel nodded sagely. “It’s perfect. Like Enjolras.”
Sebastian looked at her oddly. “You he didn’t actually sing in the book, right? He led a small army.”
Rachel and Kurt both responded at the same time. “Doesn’t matter.”
Sebastian stepped back in shock, while Santana stared at them in disgust. “What the hell?” she questioned. She stared a moment longer then shook her head. “Whatever. I’m done trying to figure you out. I just have to live with you; I don’t have to understand you.”
“You have to sleep with her too,” Sebastian added with a snort.
“I’ll gag her if I need to,” she responded lightly. “Anyway, what do we have planned? I better get a good solo if this is about me.”
Kurt nodded. “It’s going to be great. Why don’t we head to school and we can tell you on the way? Glee is starting soon anyway.”
Santana and Rachel nodded, and started to head out, grabbing their things.
As the girls trooped out together, Kurt was about to follow them, when Sebastian stopped him with an arm around his waist.
“Hey,” Sebastian said simply, pulling Kurt close to him. He wrapped his arms around his waist completely and leaned in close to kiss below his jaw.
Kurt tilted his head to give him better access, winding his arms around Sebastian’s hips in response. “Hey yourself,” he muttered. “What’s this for?”
“Just because. We were interrupted.”
“We were just sleeping.”
“And it was lovely. I wish we still were there,” Sebastian said into his skin.
Kurt smiled softly at him, then pulled back to kiss him fully. Sebastian tried to pull him in closer to crush Kurt to him and deepen the kiss, but Santana chose that moment to pop her head back in.
“Let’s go! I can’t wait around for you two to fuck!”
Kurt blushed and followed her out the door, as Sebastian trailed after him laughing.
Sebastian was shocked at how many people were at Regionals. It was his first competition in the States and Kurt had explained how everything would work, from set up to judging and the awards ceremony. But he had never mentioned how busy it was. For a club that was made up of pariahs there were certainly a lot of people willing to watch them sing. There really must be nothing to do in Ohio.
It did make Sebastian more nervous about what they were going to do. From the opening speech to the drop of the curtains they were rebelling and a hell of a lot of people were going to see. He had to console himself by thinking at most people might not understand. The audience had that same glossed-eye look that all parents shared when dragged away from their football and book clubs to watch their children and pretend to be interested. The songs were fast enough that most people might not even catch all of the words. Besides, they couldn’t go back now, not after all the time spent practicing.
It had been a grueling week, designing and learning two new dances in just three days, not to mention perfecting the blocking and lighting for all three songs. They had stayed at the school until almost midnight every day and Sebastian swore he heard Kurt singing in his sleep once. Even now, as he leaned against the waiting room wall, he could see the whole club practicing the dance as well as Santana and Rachel running drills again.
The endless practice had done one good thing, besides drilling the routines into their brains. It had forced Santana and Rachel to work together, creating a perfect harmony between them. Kurt had the lead in their song, so he acted as their buffer and as a referee when needed. Sebastian had wondered at first if this was just a coincidence, but one smirk from Kurt after an argument was diffused told him otherwise. Santana and Rachel had even been forced to spend the night before together in Kurt and Sebastian’s room. Practice had gone on for so long that they were falling asleep on the floor, so Kurt had pulled out a few extra pillows and blankets, as well as the comforter from their bed for the girls to camp on. It was shocking to see how they were working together so well now, even smiling at each other when they reached the perfect pitch.
It had been difficult for Santana. Brittany was ignoring her and her grandmother had stopped speaking to her as soon as she heard about her choice. Rachel was the only person she could rely on.
It was strange for Sebastian, watching someone go through almost the same stages he and Kurt had gone through. There was a hell of a lot more talking than they did, so that was better, but there was also a lot more history between them. Sebastian didn’t want to think about how much more he and Kurt would have fought if Kurt knew everything about him; he didn’t want to think about how much more it would have hurt if he used them against him. He had told Kurt, whispered about his life in Paris in the safe anonymity of the darkness and Kurt had stroked his neck and kissed his acceptance into him, but it still would have hurt too much. But Kurt was there for the girls, soothing their anger and forcing an apology after each attack.
Sebastian was shocked to realize how much hope he had for the two of them.
Sebastian blinked as the lights flickered above them. It was time to take their seats to watch the first two groups sing.
Kurt stepped in line with him, as they filed to their seats. “So, do you think we’re ready?”
Sebastian shrugged as they hit a lag; Sugar was arguing about sitting next to Finn instead of Rory.
“I guess we’ll have to be. I think we’re pretty good but it’s still really new for us.”
Kurt nodded in agreement. “That’s true, but that’s not what I meant. Do you think we’re ready to do this?” They finally sat, leaning into each other to keep talking.
Sebastian sighed, “I have to admit, there are a lot more people here than I thought. I’m starting to realize your idea was a lot braver than I thought.”
“Yeah, well don’t worry. Most of them are parents.” Kurt reached over to squeeze his knee reassuringly.
“Parents can be some of the biggest bigots in my opinion.” Sebastian flashed back uncomfortably to his own parents, his father screaming about family shame and his mother’s hand white from fear as she mumbled about the end of the human race. He clutched at Kurt’s hand and refused to let him go.
“Not in my experience,” Kurt said softly, turning his hand so they were palm to palm, fingers intertwined.
“Your father is a saint, yes, but I think he learned a lot from you.”
“Flatterer.” Kurt laughed and kissed him on the shoulder. “Now hush and relax. Enjoy the music and stop worrying. You’ll go grey and I’m not sure you can pull that look off yet. Not with your clothes.”
Sebastian laughed with him as they lights finally dropped in the auditorium. A single man stepped out to the podium, straightening his waistcoat as he did. He was portly, with thick grey hair, and small watery eyes. Sebastian was drawn to the tailored suit, a little shocked at how well he was dressed. It was oddly formal for a high school competition, from the elegant silk tie to the high-polished shoes.
The man began to speak. “Greetings everyone and welcome to the Midwest Show Choir Regionals Competition.” Everyone gave polite applause. “I would like to thank you for joining us today and for your generous support. I am Richard Diorstin, Mayor of Cleveland, and your host tonight.”
Sebastian frowned. “What the hell is the mayor doing here?” he asked softly. “Doesn’t he have better things to do? Is it always this serious?”
Kurt shook his head, and answered just as quietly. “No. Usually the host and the judges are a bit of a joke.”
“Not this time I guess.”
The mayor continued. “I am pleased to announce this year’s judges. Stanley Friensil, host of the children’s musical special, ‘Friends and Family.’” Sebastian knew that show. It was an internationally acclaimed show to help children learn through music and dance; it was also one of the most conservative shows in the world. He shifted uncomfortable in his seat and tightened his grip on Kurt’s hand.
“Our second judge is Professor William Tucker, head of the musical theatre department for Ohio State University.”
“I thought you said the judges were supposed to be a joke. This doesn’t seem like a joke,” Sebastian whispered.
“Maybe they changed this year. Relax. We practiced enough to impress him.”
Sebastian nodded along, but he still had heard it, the shake in Kurt’s voice, and the tighter grip on his hand. Kurt was nervous. Winning was the last thing on Sebastian’s mind. Still he politely clapped for the first two judges.
The host fumbled with his cards and swallowed. He spoke clearly, though obviously still under the influence of nerves. “And now I am so pleased to announce that we have a very special guest to serve as our third judge.” He took a breath and wiped the sweat beaded at his brow. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Senator Anderson!”
Sebastian’s head whipped around to find the Senator standing only three rows back from them. He was waving at the whole crowd, and smiling like a grandfather handing out presents to his children, but Sebastian caught it, the wink buried under his charm meant just for Sebastian.
Beside him, Kurt was hyperventilating, forcing Sebastian to run a hand soothingly down his back. “Relax baby, everything is fine. He’s not here for us. Calm down.”
Sebastian hated lying. They were fucked.
“I don’t care what you say; I’m not going out there!”
The club was anything, but silent as they waited backstage. It was only minutes until their performance time, and Kurt wasn’t sure it was going to happen at all. Puck had been yelling, letting his anger and worry show through harsh words. Artie rolled back and forth silently, occasionally nodding along with an argument. He hadn’t agreed with anyone yet, but at least he was listening. The rest of the club was arguing, and Kurt was sure he already had a headache forming. He stood to the side, leaning against the mirror with faux casualness, but really, his hands were clutching the edge of the wood like a lifeline. He wasn’t sure what it would save him from. He couldn’t decide which he was more scared of, going out there to possibly get arrested or staying hidden and never telling the truth. He loathed hiding who he was, but this was almost enough to sway his determination. Anything could happen to them and if they went out to sing for the Senator they would simply have to accept the consequences. Kurt refused to delude himself that such a shrewd man might not understand the music.
It was almost suicide to sing for him.
But there was the other chance, the half-hearted hope that what they did here could do some good. It was almost delusional to think that he could listen, but Kurt couldn’t help but wish for something to change.Because, what if they did? What if he listened and changed things, opened his eyes and saw how hurt people were, how much the system had to change? He could hardly hope that would be the case, but Kurt just couldn’t give up on doing this, even if that chance was so small. He had to make sure he knew.
Mercedes held her hand up, interjecting her voice into the din. “Look, I don’t care what any of you do. I’m still singing, no matter what.”
“That’s because you have nothing to lose,” Rory responded quietly. “I could be deported.”
“They’re not going to send you away for it,” Santana snapped. She gestured to the group around her, with Rachel next to her and Kurt and Sebastian behind her at the mirror. “If anything, we’re going to take the heat for it. And you know what? I’m perfectly fine with that. If that rat bastard wants to come and watch me sing, then he can take whatever music he wants.”
Half the group was nodding along, while the rest broke out into arguments again.
Mr. Schuester slipped into the room and held his hands up for silence. He was sweating slightly, the edges of his collared shirt darkening with moisture, but he spoke clear and low. “It doesn’t matter what I say. We can’t switch the music this close to the performance. We either forfeit or we perform the songs you all picked.” He sighed, glancing down at his hands. “And I gotta say, I’m pretty disappointed in you all, changing this quickly for something you can’t fight. We could be disqualified for this.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Mr. Schue, with all due respect, some of us don’t actually care about winning. That’s not really the point.”
“That might not matter to you, but it might be very important to other people. Well?” He spread his arms, waiting for the rest of the club to respond. Instead, the room was silent. “No one? Come on! I thought this was your dream! I thought you wanted to make it to Nationals!”
Rachel stepped forward. “With all due respect Mr. Schue, while it would be nice to end high school with a trophy, a lot of us are a little more concerned with the rest of our lives. This-” she paused, biting her lip. “This is really more important I think. This is a chance to tell him how we really feel, make sure he knows that the system isn’t perfect. He needs to know,” she pleaded. She gestured at the group. “For all of you to have a chance at a happy life, and for Quinn. I can’t be the only person who still thinks it was wrong.”
“Rachel,” Finn started, but she cut him off.
“Don’t you dare Finn. You and I both know how guilty you feel over it. Quinn was the victim of our relationship and you know it.”
Kurt shook his head with a soft smile. Rachel must have been reading old poetry again.
The petite girl continued to fill the heavy silence around her. “We only have a few minutes until the curtain rises. We have to choose now. Anyone who wants to sing should go to the stage now.” She grabbed Santana’s hand on the way to the door and disappeared through it.
Kurt hung back for a second, wanting to see just what everyone would do. He could only see a few awkward shuffles before he felt a light tug on his hand. He looked up to find Sebastian grinning at him.
“Come on baby. You and I both know you’re not going to give up the chance to hit those high notes outside of the bedroom.”
Kurt rolled his eyes and smacked him, but quickly followed him out of the green room. He barely caught a glimpse of Mercedes putting on a final touch of lip gloss before he was pulled through.
Breathing heavily at the swift pace, as well as more than a touch of anticipation, he allowed himself to be brought to the stage. Sebastian’s hand was warm and a little damp with sweat, but it was steady and strong. They were actually doing this, the four of them, six now that Mercedes and Sam joined them. Kurt reached out and hugged her tightly, wishing that there was time to show his gratitude. This wasn’t her fight and nothing good could come out of it for them. She had a small margin of protection from being pregnant, but Kurt knew it wouldn’t last long if they really thought she was trouble. This wasn’t her and Sam’s fight; they were happy and married. The system had worked perfectly for them, allowing Sam to care for the children, while Mercedes pursued her dream and took the world by storm. They were exactly the kind of people the system loved, obedient and charming and willing to let the system work. So what were they doing here? By all definition, as a young couple expecting a child, they should have distained at the thought of anyone rebelling against the system. But it meant almost more that they were supporting him. Kurt didn’t feel so lost and alienating in his disgust for the system. If a couple like Mercedes and Sam could see just how wrong it all was, from within the protection of the system itself, maybe they had a chance to open other people’s eyes, just so they could see that it was far from perfect. Mercedes and Sam gave Kurt the hope that he needed to take his place as the lights flickered, signaling that it was time to start.
The other five took their places, a sorry amount of people for a rebellion. It was heartbreaking how empty it was. From in front of the curtains, they heard the mayor announce the New Directions.
It was time.
Kurt took a breath and dropped his head into position as Sebastian stepped through the curtains to give the opening speech.
“Thank you for joining us. Our songs have been selected to honor a few of our members, who have been recently matched and married.” A loud smattering of applause followed his words. The audience reacted the same way the club had hoped for, expecting songs of love and happiness. Sebastian continued to speak after the noise had died down. “These songs are to represent them. Thank you for listening.”
He stepped back through the curtain and moved to take his place. Kurt brushed his hand as he passed, but even that reassuring touch did nothing to quell his nerves. Their voices would sound weak with such a small group and the massage wouldn’t carry at all.
Just as the curtain began to rise, Kurt heard it, the pounding of feet from backstage. He refused to move from his place, but out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of them, the rest of the club, his closest friends rushing to their places just as the curtains began to rise. The opening notes rang out over the crowd and Sebastian started singing.
“Come the war...” His voice was strong and clear, even as Kurt could see the nervous sweat forming on his brow. Behind him, the rest of the club spun in ballroom circles. They had all chosen partners, Rachel twirling around Finn and Santana and Brittany entwined on the other end of the stage. At the chorus, Finn and Sam danced forward, letting Rachel and Mercedes join each other so they could add their voices to Sebastian’s. As they did, Kurt stepped forward to dance with Puck and then twisted to join Rory. He never danced with a girl, hoping the point would be made for the audience. As the final chorus began, Rachel was pulled away from Finn to meet Santana, while Mike twisted away from Tina for a series of complicated steps with Brittany. Kurt danced into Sebastian’s arms, and his breath caught slightly as he felt his husband’s hands slide along his waist.
As they moved together, Kurt knew he wasn’t just singing for the audience, not even just singing for the Senator. He was singing to Sebastian, reaffirming why the needed to do this. Yes, they had some form of happiness, curling into each other in the morning and giving each other secret kisses in dark hallways, but it wasn’t perfect. Kurt knew he wouldn’t have chosen Sebastian if they hadn’t been forced together. He would have found someone more like him, someone sweeter and less sarcastic. He loved their battles and bickering, but he sometimes wondered if that’s all there ever was to love. It couldn’t be, not with how much they butted heads at times. Kurt just wanted to know what real love felt like, that passion that Shakespeare and Tennyson talked about, as well as the need to see someone every day, not because he was forced to live with them, but because he had picked them as the person he loved. He and Sebastian could pretend and get along and try and fall in love, but he just didn’t think that was what it was all about. Was it? Was it possible for the definition of love to change like that? But people deserved the chance to figure it out, the chance to choose who they wanted to be with, who they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Kurt couldn’t go back on his marriage with Sebastian; they were stuck together and would find some kind of love in that, but other deserved the choice, deserved the freedom. He would find the modern form of love, accepting the choice before him, but it would never be what he really craved, the romance and sweetness that came from a personal choice, from deciding, yes I want him. He pressed just a tiny bit closer to Sebastian, holding his gaze until the find line, the last beat where the new couples raised their bound hands in defiance.
The lights faded on them, signaling the start of the next song. Kurt snagged Sebastian’s hand before he could disappear and pulled him in for a quick kiss. As much as he wished he had a choice, he was grateful for Sebastian, appreciated his heart and passion, honesty in the face of everything.
Kurt stepped into place for the next song, in the middle of the stage still shrouded in darkness. At the front, Santana and Rachel were illuminated by the spot lights. There was a heavy silence for a moment, until they began. “This is the way you left me...” Kurt caught his breath and their mingled voiced beautifully melding into the perfect harmony. They had practiced plenty before, so he knew what they sounded like. But there was such a difference between Rachel in rehearsal and the creature she became when she stepped on stage. That, combined with the passion Santana infused into every note she sang, left Kurt breathless. He almost pitied the Senator for having to listen and know that he caused this.
The opening chords ended, and Kurt moved forward into the light. The song was higher pitched than he had ever sung with an audience, but he knew he could handle it. Rory had found the song just for Kurt, knowing how well he could perform it. They didn’t move for most of the song, letting their voices tell the story more than dance ever could. They told how they had wished and begged and even prayed for any sort of happiness, but it was nowhere to be found. There was no happiness in the world; no ending that could possibly do what they wanted. Kurt poured every bit of desperate hope he has possessed, the endless desire to leave and to be free, to do anything but end up trapped in the town that had destroyed so many people’s dreams. But there was no escape because this was the world they lived in. This was his world and Kurt only had his voice to use to change it. He was practically begging the audience to see how much they all had been hurt.
As Santana and Rachel began the chorus once more, Kurt caught sight of Sebastian just on the edge of the stage, watching him closely and getting ready for the rest of club’s entrance. His gaze was open and painful, and, not for the first time, Kurt wondered just what had happened to Sebastian in Paris. He knew that his husband had been promiscuous, fooling around as much as the rigorous system in France allowed. But there had to be something more, something that had changed him, made Sebastian into the beautiful rebel he was. What had kept him from drowning in the pressure from his parents, the government, everything? The bridge began as the club filed onstage behind them, backing up his solo with a chant and the chorus. He could hear Sebastian the clearest, not because he was closest, but because he simply needed to hear his husband’s voice, a reassurance that the song was the represent the others, that he and Sebastian could still have their little bit of love. He was happy to hear the music fade out, leaving Rachel and Santana to sing the final chorus together.
The lights dropped once more, leaving Kurt panting in the darkness. Swiftly and silently, the group moved to their places for the final number. Kurt simply couldn’t wait for it to be over; it was killing him to put so much of him into the songs, on top of being so damn worried about the outcome. He just wanted to go home and sleep. The next number was a heavy dance, making it easier for him to focus on the complicated steps and not think about anything else. He could at least forget about the audience while he sang this one.
The lights jumped up at the first techno beat, and Kurt launched into the dance. After the first set of claps, Mike began singing; he was the only one who could sing the whole song and get the steps perfect at the same time. It was a risk they were willing to take, having one of the weaker voices sing the final song, but it was worth it in the end. Everyone joined in at the chorus, singer stronger with the simpler dance steps. They reached the lyric break and carefully stepped back, letting Mike and Brittany dance in the middle. Kurt barely brushed Sebastian’s hand once more as they passed each other, and then they were singing again. One line for each member, until they were all shouting the last verse, passionate and desperate and eager for rest. “A million faces, a million lies!”
The music ended quickly, with the whole club panting with their effort, but it was different than their last performances, where they left the stage in a cheer, happy to have done so well. This time they held their last pose, pointing at the audience, silent and defiant. Kurt was willing to bet everything he had that at least half of the group was pointing directly at the Senator.
What made it worth it was the resounding applause they heard from the audience. It was over; they had given all that they had to fight this, and now it was being appreciated. The audience accepted them, even though their fear had kept them silent until now. Kurt couldn’t see the Senator’s face; in fact he was glad that the lights were so bright. He didn’t have to face him just yet.
The awards ceremony came only twenty minutes after their performance. Sebastian spent about half of that time kissing Kurt in the shadows of the stage, and the other half watching Kurt glare at him through the mirror where he was fixing his hair. He stood behind the boy and rolled his eyes, but he would never take back that connection that she shared amid the din of the audience’s approval. He needed to feel Kurt, make sure he was still real, and make sure that all of this was still real. Just a few months ago, he had been living on his own, pretending that teasing the good boys of Dalton was all he needed in his life. He had told himself that nothing really mattered, that it was not big deal if half his classmates looked like death had come their way once they were paired. He could tell himself that the government was separate from his life and the choices they made didn’t matter to him.
Sebastian had been almost happy pretending. But he knew that it was only pretend. Why else would he have spent so much time trying to piss off his parents, or tease dozens of boys into changing their status? It had never worked, but Sebastian knew why he had tried. Because it had mattered, and standing out there on the stage, listening to the audience applaud their efforts had confirmed it, reassured him that he could make a change, perhaps make the biggest change in people. It wasn’t about winning, he knew that. But maybe if they won, they could get their message to more people. They could show the world that they did matter and that what they felt about marriage was important. He needed to show the world that.
They made it to the stage, lining up on the left side. In the middle and to the right were the other two teams. One was an all girls’ school; Sebastian had whispered furiously to Kurt about them in the lobby. They were more of a Victorian finishing school than anything else, focused more on pleasing the system than getting an education. They had sung a collection of show tunes, focusing on love and joy. They were good, but obviously more in love with the grand costumes they wore than the music they were singing. It was bright and frilly, just a group of airheads squealing about romance.
The second group was from a high school in Idaho. They had stunning dance routines but lacked any sort of power in their voices. Brilliant to watch, but nothing really to listen to. There was a frightened quality to them, as they whispered to each other and glanced sheepishly around the room. A few kept glancing at the exits, as if they thought they would be punished simply for sharing the stage with such rebels.
Sebastian eyed each group carefully, smirking when he caught their nervous stares. They couldn’t keep their eyes off of New Directions and it was too much fun teasing them.
If Sebastian was being truly honest with himself, he would say he was just as nervous as them. He would say that his knees were almost buckling from the thought that he would be sharing a stage with the Senator soon. If he wanted to tell the truth, Sebastian would say that he wanted nothing more than to take Kurt and run back home, hide in their bed and in Kurt’s body until the world was roses and music again.
Sebastian was anything but honest. Instead, he winked at the competition and let his eyes purposely slide down a few of the boy’s bodies.
“Stop that,” Kurt muttered, pinching his arm.
Sebastian didn’t respond, just laughed quietly. There wasn’t time for a good comeback, as the curtains began to rise. The crowds responded politely as the mayor stepped forward.
“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for joining us for this year’s competition. Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the awards ceremony!” There was one more burst of applause before he continued. “Please give a warm welcome for our judges.”
The response was thundering, as the audience cheered and hollered. Sebastian smiled pleasantly, but on the inside he was getting sick. He could feel his stomach tightening and he bit his lip to keep his lunch down. His forehead was prickling with sweat and he almost swore that his vision was blurring. There was no physical cause for this, just the movement to the side of the stage, the Senator and his fellow judges making their way past the New Directions to the center of the stage. Sebastian had to hold his cool here, or he would regret it. He had to show that man just how strong he was, even when it came to playing nice in front of a crowd. It was an irrational thought, but it didn’t stop Sebastian from taking several discreet, calming breaths as the Senator stepped up to the microphone.
The senator addressed the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to thank you for joining us and for allowing us the honor of judging all these talented young adults. I would especially like to thank the judging board for allowing me to give my humble opinion.” He chuckled pleasantly with the audience. Holding up his hands for silence, he continued to speak gently and blithely. “Many of you have wondered why I chose to come here today. You won’t know how many times I’ve been stopped and asked why I’m not at the center making sure all your children have their happy ending.”
Kurt gave a sharp intake of breath and Sebastian caught his hand to calm him down. He was fighting his own panic, but he wouldn’t give in.
“As many of you know, my son passed two years ago.” The audience nodded along as Sebastian shot Kurt a questioning look. His husband only nodded and mouthed, ‘car accident.’ The senator kept speaking. “What many of you don’t know is that he had a beautiful voice and a passion for music. Many of you don’t know that my son was an idealist. Just a few weeks before he was taken from me, he told me why he loved music so much. He said it was the most powerful method to spread ideals, to spread change, or to stop people from heading down the wrong path. My son taught me that music is a message.”
The auditorium was silent, heavy with anticipation. Sebastian could not stop swallowing; his throat was a desert. He wished he had taken the time to get a drink of before they came on stage.
“I came here to find that message. Because it doesn’t matter what your voices sound like, or if you can’t dance to save your life. If you deliver a powerful message in your music, it will always be beautiful in my mind. Now, the result.”
One of the other judges stepped forward to give him an envelope. The senator opened it, and Sebastian felt Kurt clutching at his hand desperately. He could barely feel his fingers, but it didn’t matter. A sad, mocking smile graced the senator’s elderly face. “In third place, the New Directions.”
The club didn’t move, shocked into total silence. The audience gave small polite claps, but it didn’t cover the sound of low giggles, didn’t hide the fingers pointed their way. This was humiliation. They had been prepared for fights, police and jail time. Total embarrassment was never on the list.
Only Rachel’s top acting skills saved them from complete disgrace. She stepped forward, her stage smile plastered over her face, and accepted the token trophy. When the senator turned to shake her hand, Sebastian caught his eye. The older man winked at him with a cruel little smirk twisting his face. But it was gone in an instant, as he turned to face his crowd of sycophants once more.
The New Directions were ushered off the stage, numb with defeat and shock. They had lost everything.
Kurt entered the apartment in silence and bent to untie his boots. Sebastian quickly shucked his own and moved past Kurt. He stripped his shirt and disappeared into the bathroom.
Kurt watched the door for a moment before moving into the main room, not bothering to turn on the overhead lights. He would make do with the bed light; he didn’t want to look at himself and know that he had been laughed at so cruelly. He should have been used to it, used to people judging him for being different and usually he was proud of withstanding the torment. But this time it was different. This time he wasn’t just fighting for himself; he had been fighting for everyone.
And they had mocked them for it.
Was it really so strange what they wanted? The change that needed to happen? Were people really just blind to the situation? Or was it Kurt who was in the wrong? Was his sense of right and wrong so warped that he couldn’t see the truth? But there had to be more to it than that. The way that people were so destroyed by the matching had to be wrong. Any system that hurt people so much was just wrong.
Kurt was slumped against the bed when Sebastian finally came in, with nothing but a towel and beads of water still clinging to his hair and skin. When Sebastian flung the towel into the hamper and slammed the closet door, Kurt knew he had to say something.
“What?” His voice was quiet, laced with a deeper edge. Kurt gave him a slow once over. Sebastian’s shoulders were tense and his fingers were tight on the pajama bottoms he was pulling up his legs. His skin was rubbed a bright red from the rough shower. His eyes were the same color as the blood that glowed just below his bitten lips. Kurt wanted nothing more than to sooth the violent lines that had turned his husband into an enemy. He wasn’t that at all; if anything Sebastian was his only ally.
“Sebastian, listen to me please,” Kurt requested carefully from his place by the bed. Sebastian gave no response and Kurt was struck with the thought that he was dealing with a wild animal. “Just tell me why you’re so angry. We knew this could go badly. So why-”
“Why? Kurt, were you there?” Sebastian spun on Kurt, his eyes bright a livid. “They fucking humiliated us! I was expecting to go to jail for this, to be sent to some kind of rehab! I was willing because at least they would have respected us! They would have respected our desire to have a choice!” He huffed. “At least if they had punished us we could have said that it was worth it. But this?” He gestured wildly in frustration. “This is worse. They will never listen to us!”
Kurt stayed silent as Sebastian stalked around the room, huffing spouting his rage. “You know, I got to hand it to the Senator. He is a fucking genius. He could have punished us, no he could have fucking eaten us alive. I wanted him to! But no, he had to make us forgettable. Damnit Kurt, why didn’t he just punish us?”
Kurt shook his head. “I don’t know.” He could see where Sebastian was coming from, and felt the same. But one of them had to stay calm.
Slowly, Kurt moved forward, trailing his hands up Sebastian’s arms. His touch was light and gentle, soothing the shaking boy in front of him. His rage seemed to be broken, leaving Sebastian with nothing but his pain.
“Kurt, why the hell am I even bothering with this?” Sebastian asked with his head dropped. “Why the fuck am I still here? I had the chance. I could have fucking run when I was flying here, at the airport.” His head shot up, and Kurt had to bite his lips to keep from wincing at the pain and fear he saw in filling his eyes. “I had the chance, you know. I had my stuff in a bag and the plane had stopped in Hong Kong. There was a door, where one of the stewards had gone outside for a smoke. It was propped open and I could have— Fuck, Kurt, I could have escaped all of this. Left it all behind. God, I should have. I hate this world.”
The air felt thick. Kurt couldn’t breathe. He knew Sebastian wasn’t talking about him, he knew that. But it was still there, the feeling that he wasn’t worth anything to his husband. It wasn’t personal. Sebastian just didn’t want to be here and there was nothing that would make it worth it, not even the man he was sharing his life with.
Kurt smiled at him, a thin and fragile thing. “Too bad you’re stuck with me.”
Sebastian’s eyes whipped up to face him. There was something in them, a fullness that Kurt hadn’t seen before, an intensity that he couldn’t explain. “Kurt,” he muttered. “Of course I’m stuck with you.”
Sebastian suddenly surged forward and pulled Kurt into a kiss, licking into his mouth with a heavy desperation. Kurt reeled from the sudden attention, but he recovered quickly. He needed this, almost as much as Sebastian seemed to. He needed to feel wanted, to feel worth some sort of respect. He had been humiliated and because of his selfish desires, the rest of the club had suffered with him. Kurt felt like nothing but a traitor to his friends and he needed someone to make his feel worthwhile again. He couldn’t fathom Sebastian’s reasons for this, but it didn’t matter; they needed each other and they would give everything if they had to.
Kurt’s heart was racing from the soft kisses and Sebastian’s gentle hands. He felt breakable, like china in his husband’s careful hold. When he finally pushed into him, Kurt felt ready to scream. He wanted more than this. He wanted their usual fucking, heavy moans and a fast pace to keep up with the hammering of his heart. But this was different, slow and careful and nothing like what Kurt was prepared for. He almost didn’t want it. It was too much for his heart to handle. What was he feeling, being together like this? He already knew their relationship was different from anything published, and it wasn’t like he could just ask Mercedes if Sam ever fucked her so gently that she thought she would explode.
Even as Kurt teetered on the edge, Sebastian didn’t waver in his pace. Kurt knew he was close too from the way his hands were clenching Kurt’s. He was so near to the end, begging Sebastian for anything to ease the desperation building. When Sebastian pulled back from his filthy kisses to kiss Kurt’s chest, a chaste peck just over his heart, Kurt was done. He screamed as he finally came, clenching around Sebastian’s pulsing cock.
It was almost ten minutes before he could trust himself to speak. Laying with Sebastian’s head tucked into his neck, Kurt asked, “So what was that?”
Sebastian paused and then laughed, barely a puff of air. “I keep forgetting you’re not actually French. Let’s just say we get a much better sex ed in Paris.”
Kurt frowned. He knew his husband well enough to see the front he was putting on. “Really? Tell me the truth.”
Sebastian was still over him as he spoke. “Just something I wanted for a while.”
“Come on, will you just-”
Kurt’s demand was cut off as Sebastian pulled away from him and climbed out of bed. Kurt rolled over to see him rummaging under their bed. “What the hell are you looking for?”
“This.” Sebastian opened the trunk he’d brought from Dalton and pulled out a knitted afghan, two shades of purple, white and black. It wasn’t finished, with the yarn ends still hanging from the sides, but it still looked old and worn.
“What’s that?” Kurt asked, as Sebastian climbed back into bed. He spread a sheet over their sticky bodies before covering both of them with the afghan.
“It’s a blanket. My grandmother made it, but she died before she could finish it.” Sebastian fingered the soft stitches carefully, not meeting Kurt’s eyes. “It was supposed to be a present for my bride. She never knew I was gay, but I don’t think she would have cared. She said she wanted to give her something to tell her that she was more than just a breeder. She wanted my marriage to mean something. She had one of the last free marriages in France. She was allowed to choose her husband.” He swallowed.” She loved my grandfather, decided that he was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She used to tell me stories about her wedding, about how happy everyone was. Because weddings used to be a celebration, not some mockery. I was always—I was always jealous of her wedding, fuck her whole marriage. Her choice. That’s all I wanted. I wanted a real wedding, a day when I wake up overjoyed because I was going to be married to someone I love. I wanted the choice. It didn’t matter if I had a hundred partners; in the end I just wanted to choose one person to be with me. I-”
He swallowed again, and looked at Kurt with that strange gleam in his eyes, the one that made Kurt feel like he was falling off a bridge. He wanted to run from it, but he was trapped by the blanket, the proof that he wasn’t what Sebastian wanted.
Sebastian finally broke the gaze and ducked down under the covers once more and curled into Kurt. “Well, things worked out differently, I guess. Anyway, we should sleep.”
Kurt nodded and settled himself. The blanket felt too heavy, too much for him to bear. It was more than just a blanket; it was knowledge that he would never be what Sebastian wanted, no matter how much they tried to make this work. He would never be Sebastian’s choice.
On Monday morning, Sebastian was shocked when Kurt merely pulled on an old pair of jeans and a soft tee shirt, urging him to do the same. He was even more shocked when they stopped by Wal-Mart to buy a back of plain black shirts for each of them.
“Trust me, you’re going to want them,” Kurt insisted, putting a spare shirt and a pair of sunglasses in each of their bags before slipping on a shiny faux leather jacket.
By Friday, Sebastian was nothing but grateful for Kurt’s thoughtfulness. Every morning started with a slushie to the face, and each night he was forced to clean at least three shirts and leave his shoes out to dry overnight. The spares had kept him from freezing all day long, and the glasses kept the corn syrup damage to a minimum.
He certainly understood why the school was so ruthless. Not only had the New Directions rebelled, they had humiliated the entire school. Puck had to run from the nerds trying to shave his Mohawk, and the Cheerios had been caught bleaching Santana’s uniform while she was in the shower. (Sebastian still couldn’t get over how it looked almost pink now, but the deep purple bruise on his shoulder kept him from laughing more than once.) It was only the unexpected grace of Coach Sue that kept Santana from being dropped from the team completely.
“I don’t care who you marry. In fact, I think you shouldn’t do it at all. Ridiculous idea. Just breed like they want you to and go off and do your own thing. That’s why I’ve bribed several politicians into not including me in the system.”
Sebastian couldn’t help but agree with a little of what she was saying. He had a soft spot for her brand of crazy.
The worst part was watching Santana and Rachel prepare for their wedding. Rachel attacked the issue with her usual ruthlessness, saying she was still going to get her dream wedding, no matter who she was marrying. Santana had dropped her truce with Rachel as soon as pink gowns were brought up and started fighting her on every decision.
“I’m not actually mad at her,” she whispered to Sebastian over an argument over the ribbons. “I just don’t want to delude her into thinking that I’m going to be a pushover like Finn was. I have needs and they don’t even come close to revolving around her.”
Sebastian would almost kill to watch them alone, especially on the wedding night. Kurt had smirked when he mentioned the idea, and asked coyly if he wanted to watch then screw as well. After spending a minute imagining them, Sebastian had reluctantly decided that he should spy on them.
Kurt was baffling Sebastian that week. When he was asleep, he would cling to Sebastian, grip his shoulders and twine his fingers through his hair. But as soon as he was awake, Kurt would become almost cordial to him, too polite for Sebastian. In their two months of marriage, Sebastian had seen Kurt angry, lustful, bitchy, and almost every other emotion he could think of. It hadn’t all been directed at him, but Sebastian knew that Kurt was the most expressive person he knew, even if it was subtle. Even when they were intimate, Kurt would pull away from his kisses or insist that they were quick or as fast apart as they could manage. It made Sebastian ache each time his lips pressed against Kurt’s cheek instead of the lips he sought.
It was shocking to see him so distant. It might have been the upcoming wedding or leftover emotions from Regionals, but Sebastian wanted it over; he wanted his real husband back.
All in all, on the morning of the wedding, Sebastian was anxious for his life to have some sort of normalcy. He wasn’t sure why he thought that the ceremony would be the end of his suffering, but there was something hanging about, a nervous energy that buried into his muscles and kept him from really relaxing. There was something coming, and maybe it was just the wedding. Either way, he wanted it over with. He wanted Kurt to stop staying up until three in the morning going over flower arrangements with Rachel or arguing with Santana about why she couldn’t wear a black and red dress.
Sebastian wanted nothing more than to just lie down next to his husband and feel him relax against him. It was a little upsetting, if he was really going to admit it, how much he needed to make Kurt feel content.
On his first drive to the marriage center, Sebastian had been forced to listen to his talkative Dalton headmaster. While Mr. Oak was a mediocre teacher and an even worse headmaster, he was an expert in the art of one-sided conversations. But the second drive was lonely, as Kurt had gone ahead to help with the set up. Listening to Kurt would have made Sebastian feel a little bit at ease, but as it was, hearing nothing but the click of his turn signal was worse than a thousand speeches from his old headmaster.
When he arrived, Sebastian was shocked by how much the place had transformed. Flowers were wrapped around each pillar and the whole color scheme had been changed to soft rose shades with deep crimson accents. Pink lilies were everywhere, decked in red ribbons. Sebastian was deeply impressed and wondered why Kurt had put so much effort in his friends’ wedding and nothing into his own. He shouldn’t have been jealous, but it made him ache to think that Kurt hadn’t wanted to celebrate at least some small part of it. Crass as the system was, he loved being with Kurt, no matter how they had been forced together. He supposed he only had himself to blame for Kurt’s unhappiness at their wedding; he had been cruel and angry when Kurt had messaged him and Kurt couldn’t be blamed for not wanting to celebrate their match. But now, Sebastian wished me had done something for Kurt. It was a hell of a thing to spend an entire life with him, Sebastian knew this. So Kurt would have to be thanked.
He made his way to the backroom, mulling over present ideas on the way. Once inside, Sebastian nearly ran into the man blocking the door, a beefy man in a black suit and tie. He was standing next to another man with a thick mustache, dressed exactly the same, holding a clipboard. The second man glared at him through a pair of jet black glasses and checked something on his clipboard.
“What the hell?” he muttered to himself before the guards moved aside. He could see the rest of the club gathered there, with Santana and Rachel gathered in the middle. Rachel had her hand clamped around Kurt’s arm, wrinkling his (most-likely) designer grey suit. Kurt’s face was closed off, his defense as Sebastian now knew, hiding his real fear behind cold eyes, flawless skin and a pretty pout on his lips. Sebastian immediately went to Kurt’s side, slipping an arm around his waist and leaning into him.
“What’s going on?” he whispered into Kurt’s hair. He took a subtle breath, calming himself with the verbena scent lingering there.
“No idea, they just told us all to gather here once we were done setting up. The guards came when Sam tried to leave. They won’t tell us what they’re waiting for.” Kurt’s voice was steady, not betraying a hint of himself. It was his stage voice.
He squeezed Kurt closer and muttered, “They can’t hurt us, and you know that. There’s too much publicity; someone would see it.”
Kurt nodded sharply, but didn’t say anything.
Sebastian had to calm him down; with his own heart rabbiting out of control, he needed someone to relax here. “Hey,” he sighed. “Rachel and Santana look wonderful. The building is amazing too.”
Although he couldn’t see his face, Sebastian could feel Kurt sag against him. “Thanks. The flowers were a bitch to put up in this suit. I think I still smell like lilies.”
“You smell fine. Wonderful in fact. I think after this we need our own celebration.”
Sebastian was cut off by the door opening, letting Rory and Mike stumble in. The guard with the clipboard checked them both off, and then pressed a hand to his ear. His voice was too quiet for any of them to hear, but Sebastian could guess what he was saying. The boys joined the group and the quiet whispers of explanation were the only sounds in the room. Even Puck was silent, letting Sugar hide behind him. Mercedes refused to cower behind Sam and was instead standing beside him, arms crossed and looking threatening in her pink bridesmaid dress.
The door swung open on last time and Sebastian swallowed his gasp as the Senator stepped in. he looked impeccable in his dark grey suit, and smiled widely at them. The group instinctively pulled closer and Sebastian barely caught a glimpse of Santana and Rachel’s clasped hands before they were hidden in the folds of their dresses.
“Well,” the man said jovially, spreading his arms to the group. “Isn’t this lovely?”
Kurt could have sworn he had prepared everything for Rachel and Santana’s wedding. After spending hours on the flowers, stabbing his hand too many times while fixing their dresses and nearly ruining a Black Label original, he had been sure everything was covered. There was a kind of mad passion he had put into their ceremony; he supposed he had been living vicariously through the girls. He would never have a wedding like theirs, something that they could look forward to, and eventually look back on and smile at it as a happy day. So he made it perfect as an apology to his own heart for trying to fall in love with someone who was still looking for fairy tale love. Kurt had given up on the dream of true love when he first learned how marriage actually worked. Apparently Sebastian was still dreaming of other people.
But he had worked as hard as he could to give Santana and Rachel something like that. He knew he couldn’t make them fall in love with each other; Santana still sent longing looks across the room to Brittany and Rachel had to stop herself from texting Finn after each class. But Kurt figured if everything was perfect, then they could at least fake being happy long enough for a good memory.
But Kurt hadn’t prepared enough. Now their perfect wedding was ruined, along with his dreams for them. He should have expected the Senator to show up. He had come to Kurt’s wedding with no provocation. After regionals, Kurt should have sent him an invitation and been done with it.
As the Senator smiled jovially at them, Kurt couldn’t help but lean back into Sebastian. His tall, familiar frame comforted him at least. He just wished he felt as safe as he did when they were in bed. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend they were, with Kurt curled around a book while Sebastian dosed behind him.
But then the Senator started to speak.
“I must say, I barely recognize this center. We don’t usually allow people to decorate for themselves –takes away from the calm atmosphere, I feel. But you all have done wonderfully, really captured the joy that marriage brings.” He chucked, obviously chuffed with himself. “Really, I must know whose idea was this?”
The group didn’t respond; they just shifted nervously in silence. Kurt paled, realizing his cue. Swallowing so his voice didn’t crack, Kurt answered, “I planned the decorations.” Behind him, Sebastian’s grip tightened so he was pulled even closer. Still, Kurt felt like there was a cold wind on his back. Unprotected, it said. Defenseless.
“Well, Mr. Hummel, how wonderful.” The Senator smiled brightly, his dark eyes glittering. “And how has married life treated you? You certainly seem close.”
Kurt flinched, but he couldn’t pull away from Sebastian’s death grip. “Just fine,” he muttered. You don’t have to give details, he thought to himself. No one but you and Sebastian deserve the details.
Sebastian spoke up behind him. “We’re doing great.” His voice was tight and rough, making Kurt want to sooth it with kisses.
“Perfect, just perfect. I knew you both would be happy, perfectly happy.” He smiled at the group, but soon his smile dropped at their stony silence. “Well, I suppose I’m intruding a little on your festivities. I simply wanted to deliver a message to all of you.”
He paced at the front of the room, hands behind his back. “I feel as though there has been a lapse in your education. Your Regionals display certainly demonstrates that. I believe,” he stated, “that you do not fully understand the purpose of the marriage system as it stands. Others might say you are simply trying to rebel, fight the order that we have struggled to provide. But I believe differently, that you just don’t understand how all of this truly is for the best.
“Shall I paint a picture for you? I’ll tell you about the world your music described, a world where people are allowed to choose who they marry. What do we know about people? They are fickle. Just look at how a person chooses their clothing. One day, dresses might be their absolute favorite thing. They love them! And there is nothing wrong with that! You can love whatever you want. But then the next day, all they want in the world is a warm sweater. Or a new scarf. Anything. Do you see? People are fickle. They can’t make a decision about their clothes that they can keep. How do you think they would do with something as serious as marriage? It would be chaos. So we choose for you. Trust us; we know what is good for you. Kurt, my dear boy, do you really think you would be happier with anyone else? Tell me, do you honestly want someone other than your husband?”
A shock ran through Kurt. Was he honestly supposed to answer that question? But the expectant eyes of the Senator told him he was. Should he tell him he wanted someone else? But there was no one other than Sebastian. He didn’t suppose he was allowed to think of anyone else. But there was always the chance he could have fallen in love with someone else. But how could he possibly say that, with Sebastian pressed close behind him? So it was either hurt Sebastian or prove the Senator right. Should he sacrifice his husband for the sake of spiting one miserable old man? Did it really matter? Sebastian would never really love him anyway.
He chose the safe route. “I’ve never been given the chance to love anyone else.”
“There. You see? He’s fickle. Letting his poor husband hold him so close and then admitting he could love another.” The Senator continued to speak over the Senator’s objections, but still Sebastian’s hand loosened until he actually could feel cold air at his back. Unprotected.
“So do you see why we need the system? It would be tragedy. Thousands of broken hearts like Kurt has just done to Sebastian. What would become of your true love then? Have we not given you everything? You asked for a choice in what gender you marry and we gave it to you, even though it would decrease the number of children being born. We made that sacrifice of the continued human race for the sake of your happiness. Don’t you understand?”
“I do,” a sweet voice piped up.
Santana gasped. “Brittany.” The group turned to face her, the few who were close even stepping back in shock.
The blonde shrugged. “I get it. I can’t make up my mind about my hair. Lord Tubbington decides. I might love Santana with pretty much all of me right now, but I don’t think I could make that choice on my own.”
“You have got to be kidding me Brit.” Santana gaped at her. “You said you wanted to be with me. For the rest of our lives, remember? That was you making a choice.”
“Yeah, but I still needed my parents to do the paperwork. I trust them, they trust him, so I guess I should trust him too.” She nodded at the Senator.
The older man smiled benignly at her. “You are simply a wonder. You see everyone? This is how it should be. Brittany just might be the brightest of all of you. Trust the system.” He stepped towards her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I will personally find you the perfect spouse, someone you know and trust. Maybe even with the same interests.” Leaning in, he kissed her gently on the forehead.
Kurt recoiled back in sympathy. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have that man touch him. He wished that he would never know what it felt like.
The Senator stepped back to the doors, once more flanked by his guards. “Here ends your lesson. I hope you all listened closely. Now that you know, any further infractions will be considered rebellious and will be dealt with under the full force of the law. My dears.” He gave a small bow to Rachel and Santana. “I hope your ceremony and marriage will the two brightest stars in your lives. Good day, everyone.”
The Senator and his followers left.
The room was silent for a moment, each member of the club staring blankly around the room. Rachel was hyperventilating audibly and Santana was still staring at her ex-girlfriend in horror. A bell chimed above them, signaling the noon hour.
Kurt jerked out of his shock. “Come on everyone. I’m not letting this wedding go to waste.” Pointedly, he pulled Rachel to the door, motioning for Santana to follow. He ignored how Sebastian called his name softly, and began drilling Rachel on her vows.
The wedding was almost perfect. The room was stunning and each person remembered their place without any coaxing. If they only counted the steps and the splendor, the wedding was nothing but a dream come true.
It was ruined by the pale frightened faces of the entire wedding party. No photos were taken that day, as no one wanted to remember the moment.
When Rachel and Santana finally kissed, quick and simple, Kurt felt Sebastian squeeze his leg. He jerked away. He couldn’t deal with wishing that Sebastian really loved him.
There was no after party, just a round of hugs before the girls drove off in Rachel’s car. The club dispersed quietly. Their muted good byes were lost in the warm afternoon wind.
Sebastian and Kurt went to a terse family dinner, where Carol tried to make conversation with Sebastian, Burt kept rubbing his son’s hand and Finn didn’t eat anything, just stared out of the window.
When they were finally home, Kurt crawled into bed without a word. Sebastian was left to stare awkwardly at the lump under the blankets. He was just about to turn on the TV when he heard the sobs.
Kurt had finally broken.
Sebastian gave him ten minutes to pull himself together, fighting the urge to crawl in after him and kiss away every tear he had ever shed. But Kurt was stronger than that; he could defend himself. He had proven himself strong enough to stand up to the Senator at the wedding. When Kurt answered the blunt weapon of a question, Sebastian had realized that Kurt didn’t need his husband to cling to him and pretend to defend him. Kurt stood stronger without Sebastian to hold him back.
But here, in their apartment, it was harder to let him fight his own battles. All Sebastian wanted to do was hold Kurt; the need was almost killing him.
As the ten minute mark passed, and Kurt’s tears still hadn’t stopped, Sebastian finally moved, pulling off his button up shirt and slacks, until he stood in just his boxers and tee shirt. He climbed up to the bed, kneeling next to Kurt. Slowly, he pulled back the covers to reveal Kurt curled into a ball, his face bright red and squished into the pillow. He still wore his suit, and his hair was being molded dangerously to the left.
Sebastian watched him for a moment, before leaning down and kissing a tear off his face, just as it started to fall.
“Come on,” he whispered, still close to his face. “You can’t be tired yet. It’s barely six.”
“Shut up Sebastian,” Kurt hiccupped, pulling into himself even tighter.
“Baby, at least let me get you out of your suit. You don’t want to ruin it, and don’t even try to lie to me.” Kurt didn’t respond this time, but after a moment his hands unlocked his body. Sebastian was able to pull him up and slip off his jacket. Kurt flopped back onto the bed, arms splayed wide, with a few drops still clinging to his eyelashes. Sebastian took advantage of the openness to unbutton his shirt and cuffs, tugging Kurt up to lean against him while he slipped it off.
As he moved down to work on his pants, Sebastian realized that this was one of the only times he’s seen Kurt undressed and he hadn’t felt a rush of lust flooding his mind. He knew it was still there; one look at Kurt’s perfect legs and soft skin proved how much he still wanted the young man. But he simply found himself unable to think about sex. He couldn’t imagine touching Kurt for his own needs, not when his beautiful husband was so hurt. Instead he wanted nothing more than to hold him, kiss him sweetly until his face was clean and smiling again. He hadn’t expected this, not from a lover he didn’t choose. But now, it was all he wanted, the chance to help Kurt.
When Kurt was finally dressed the same as him, in a simple undershirt and his briefs, Sebastian climbed out of bed. On his return, he found Kurt had curled into himself again. Sebastian reached over with one hand and rolled Kurt so he was facing the edge of the bed. Sebastian ignored the glare that was sent his way; he was just happy to see that the tears had finally stopped. He held up a damp washcloth and said, “Turn your face up please.”
Kurt continued to scowl at him, but did as he was told.
Cleaning his husband’s face gently, Sebastian commented in a soft voice, “It might not be your long routine, but it’s better than nothing.” After the job was finished, Kurt ducked his head. Sebastian kissed him on the forehead and pulled up the covers once more, wrapping him in the knit blanket and sheets.
Sebastian left once more and came back with his laptop. This time, he curled up next to Kurt, burrowing under the blankets so he could wrap himself around him as tight as possible. Kurt didn’t move, simply allowed Sebastian to hold him and start the film.
They were silent during the first thirty minutes of the movie. The only sound beside the movie was Kurt’s breathing, heaving from his breakdown.
Finally, Kurt spoke. “You didn’t have to do this.”
Sebastian sighed. “I know. I know how strong you are. I knew you could handle yourself at the center, and I should have known you could deal with this too. But I just couldn’t listen to you cry anymore.”
“What?” Kurt gasped. “What do you mean, at the center?”
“When the Senator attacked you. You gave a perfect answer, so I knew you didn’t need me.”
Meeting his eyes finally, Kurt swallowed heavily. He seemed to be trembling. “I thought… I thought you didn’t want me.”
Sebastian stroked the back of his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. I thought we agreed we were more than what the Senator was demanding from us.”
Kurt huffed, and then lurched forward, burying himself even deeper in Sebastian’s arms. He sobbed, “I thought you were abandoning me. I can’t face him alone, I just can’t.”
A wave of horror washed over Sebastian. He had done this, filled Kurt with this terror. How could he have been so cruel? “No,” he cried. “Don’t ever think that. You’re not alone against him, and not against anything. You’ll always have me, and not just because of our marriage. This is for us, only us.”
Kurt sniffed, but didn’t move. His voice was muffled against Sebastian’s chest. “I need you to be with me. I can speak for myself-”
“I know you can, baby,” Sebastian interjected with a fond laugh.
“But I need to know you’re standing with me. I should be used to being alone. I was before I found glee. But once I found friends, I realized how much I needed them. And once I had you to back me up, to just be with me, I realized how much I need you. I can speak and fight for myself. I will always be strong. But having someone there for me is so much better.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m scared of being along again.”
Sebastian rubbed his back, kissing the top of his head at the same time. “I will always be here to support you. You will never be alone again,” he promised.
Kurt sighed, and slowly spun around so he was facing the movie again. “You’re so much better at being alone than me. If we were separated, I think you would be fine.”
“Kurt, stop talking about being separated. Even if we were, you would never be alone. You’d have your friends to back you up, or someone else to love you. And even if you were really alone, you’d still be strong as ever. Now hush.” Sebastian kissed the back of his neck. “Do you want to keep watching this?”
Kurt shook his head. “Put on something funny.”
Sebastian nodded and changed the movie to a fashion comedy he knew Kurt loved. Settling in to watch, he mulled over Kurt’s words. He knew how strong Kurt was; he would never be alone or weak. But Kurt was wrong about another thing. Sebastian wouldn’t be fine without Kurt. He relied on Kurt too much. Without him, he would turn cruel again, driven by the need to throw himself around until someone came along to pick up the pieces of his heart.
It didn’t matter anyway. They would always be together.
Three weeks into their marriage and Sebastian was shocked to see that Rachel and Santana were still getting along. True, they still bickered in the club meetings, but there was no heat behind it. In any case, the songs didn’t really matter. The group wasn’t performing for any competition. Without any real goal, they were left to practice for the next year, filling the empty auditorium with music. So the fights were simply of the moment, finished before the song even ended.
Sebastian supposed that he and Kurt got to see the married side of their relationship more than anyone else. Rachel loved having them over for dinner and Kurt loved showing off his cooking skills to someone other than his husband. Soon, another tradition was added to his and Kurt’s week. They had Friday dinners with Burt and Carol, Sunday breakfast out and now Tuesday nights were spent watching old musicals and eating shockingly delicious vegan food. While the rest of the school knew Rachel and Santana as the girls who fought and lived together, Sebastian and Kurt knew them as a friendly couple, doing laundry and dishes together.
Sebastian, loathe as he was to admit enjoying any time spent listening to Kurt and Rachel sing every line to Moulin Rouge, actually loved the evenings spent as a group. They were easy and comfortable and Sebastian wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life like this.
If only school was so easy. Their classes were fine, but it was the time spent in the hallways that had Sebastian cringing. They were shoved into lockers, slushied and, on more than one occasion, they all had their belongings ruined. Sebastian couldn’t count how many shirts, bags, bags and pants he had to buy. But that was expected. He and Kurt only had a couple more months until graduation; then they would file to move to a bigger city and be happy there. Sebastian was pushing for somewhere warm, like Phoenix or LA, but Kurt was still misty-eyed at the thought of New York. In any case, they would find a place and be happy. It was the best they could hope for.
Sebastian knew he should be working for couple’s freedom, but the memory of Kurt’s sobs from after Rachel’s wedding made him pause. He could have fought on his own, and he certainly would have, but he simply didn’t want to do anything to hurt his husband. Kurt didn’t say anything about it, just shrugged and avoided his eyes when Sebastian mentioned it. Once he had told him, “It would be better if you got a choice, but there’s nothing we can do now. You’re stuck with me.” Kurt had given him a wry smile and the subject had been dropped. Sebastian wanted to question it, but there was too much good, too many smiles from Kurt over dinners with the people he loved, too many moments when they were just resting happily together, calm and peaceful. Sebastian didn’t want to do anything to destroy the happiness.
It was during lunch on a Tuesday when Sebastian’s bubble of peace was finally killed. The club ate lunch in the choir room to avoid the rest of the school. Too many trays had been dropped on them, as well as one epic food fight, for them to eat in the cafeteria. Sebastian was sprawled out over three chairs, reaching up every now and then to steal vegetables from Kurt’s lunchbox. Kurt would swat at his hand eat time, but he didn’t seem to mind packing twice as much food each day. Sebastian was just about to sit up and start on his own sandwich when Brittany came in, smiling sweetly at the group.
Normally, it would have been fine for her to join them, but her cheerleader status kept her from being banished from the lunch room. She could sit wherever she wanted, as long as she wore the red uniform. But on this day, she stepped in, holding a tray from the cafeteria, and sat next to Mike, in the chair usually reserved for Tina. Santana let out a shaky breath, as Rachel reached over to grab her hand in reassurance. Sebastian frowned up at Kurt, who started to speak.
“Brittany, what are you doing here? You know you can sit in the lunchroom.”
The blonde shrugged. “I know. But I wanted to sit with my fiancé.”
The room went still. Sebastian slowly sat up, keeping his eyes on her. Kurt swallowed and asked, “So, who did you get matched with?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Brittany asked. “I was matched with Mike.” A few gasps were heard around the room as she continued to speak. “I mean it makes sense. We can get into a dance school together. We both love it, so I guess I’m destined to be with him. I’m surprised I didn’t realize it before.”
“But what about Tina?” Rachel asked, her eyes darting to the door, as if the dark haired girl was waiting there already. Tina was often late because she had to buy lunch in the cafeteria, a dangerous place for her to be. She and Artie had a buddy system that kept them both relatively clean but took a lot of time from their lunches.
Brittany shrugged. “I guess she’ll have someone else she can love? Maybe she can have Artie? They’re the same age and all.”
Mike smiled tightly at her and then turned to the group. His eyes were dark and moist, with his skin pale and tight. But his voice was clear. “It’s fine. We already talked about it. We’re fine.”
“We are,” a voice called out from the door. “Mike and I are going to be great.” Tina certainly looked fine, dressed to kill in all black. Her voice was just as calm as Mike’s and she didn’t shake as she stepped to sit on the other side of Brittany, Artie following her with his own tray.
Brittany smiled brightly at her. “Are you sure you’re going to be happy? I know how it can feel to realize that you aren’t really destined for someone. I thought Santana was going to love me forever and now she loves Rachel.”
Santana snapped at her, “You know that’s not what happened.”
Tina smiled at her. “We’re fine. I’m happy for you. I know Mike’s a great guy.” She settled and started on her lunch, pulling a drink out of Artie’s backpack.
Slowly, Sebastian settled down, moving just a little closer to Kurt. It was such a small thing, but it meant so much more. It was a reminder that the system still existed, still lived to make them suffer. Random happenstance was the cause for most heartbreak, and even if Tina didn’t show it, Sebastian knew that it much be killed her to watch Brittany kiss Mike the way she was. It made him wonder why a person would bother trying to fall in love. He knew that it hurt too much; he would have been broken if he had to watch someone else with Kurt. He just hoped that there was no one Kurt had wanted before they were married. What was the point in having relationships during high school? People were simply going to be matched up and have their lives ruined by fate or the Senator as it were. Sebastian thought back to his words, promising to find Brittany a match. Well he certainly had, but in the worst way possible. Was he trying to destroy the club? Sebastian couldn’t help but think that he was, and this was simply the first blow.
As he reached up for another carrot stick, Sebastian couldn’t shake the feeling that he was at the beginning of a war.
The next day, the first message appeared on the wall of the school. It was bright red, paint still dripping wet as Sebastian and Kurt stared at it.
Caged now. Just wait for us to sing. -W
Sebastian had supposed that the announcement of Mike and Brittany's marriage would be met with a violent and frankly musical protest. But that wasn't the case. Even Kurt was silent on the matter, only talking about it in hushed tones when they were curled up in bed together.
"Sebastian, we'll just deal with it. It's not like there's anything we could actually do about it. They'll just arrest us anyway."
Sebastian had wanted to cry out at how broken Kurt sounded. Instead, he had rolled over and kissed Kurt hard, sweeping the pain out of his mouth and replacing it with his name.
He wanted to fight it, to battle the system. He felt it in his bones, an aching scream that was desperate to be released. When he was younger, a child he thought bitterly, he imagined that the system was just one great joke. No one really could be married like that. But as he grew older, he knew with each passing year that it was true. He read in the dead married eyes of all his classmates that this was wrong. He has screwed over his parents by rebelling; it didn't matter if they hated him if they worshiped the system so much. But he was an adult now, a married man with Kurt to worry about. He knew that his husband could take care of himself, but he simply couldn't do anything to endanger the man he loved. Sebastian knew he would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to Kurt in response to being trapped with Sebastian. As much as he loved Kurt, he almost wanted to free him. Kurt deserved so much better than Sebastian could offer him. What did he really have, other than a sex addiction and a penchant for getting in trouble? No, Kurt should have someone so much better, if only the system would allow it.
But Sebastian couldn't give him anyone else, as much as he wanted to. He could only give Kurt comfort in his kisses; he could only make sure that Kurt knew how much Sebastian loved him. He would have to give up on rebelling against the system if he didn't want anything to hurt him.
The next day at school, the first message from the rebels came. Next to him, Kurt stood shell-shocked. His lips were tight and his shoulders were set against the world. But Sebastian could see the panic in his eyes, the way they darted across the parking lot and in his hands, in how they tightened around the strap to his bag until his joints were white. Sebastian moved up close, a leer on his face for any prying eyes.
"Come on baby. Let's just get to class." He finished the movement by sliding his hands down Kurt's back, so that if anyone was watching it would just be another husband feeling up his spouse on campus.
Granted, Sebastian knew that he would stand out among the husbands on campus by reputation alone, but at least the school would never realize just how nervous the whole situation made them.
Kurt swallowed and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I've got to get to math early. We have a test today." He jerked back to push off Sebastian's wandering hands. "And stop trying to feel me up at school."
Sebastian laughed, bright and false, grabbed Kurt's behind one last time and tried to ignore how much he just wanted to hold Kurt's hand as they walked into the school.
As soon as they entered the building, the couple felt the brunt of the effect the message had on the school's population in the form of three jocks slamming into them. The front and sides of them were crushed as the laughing wall of flesh moved off laughing and calling out jibes. Sebastian grimaced but held his tongue against the mocking words. It wouldn't do any good.
Kurt shrugged his bag higher with a wince. "Don't they have anything better to do?"
"Of course not baby. They live to see people suffer because there is nothing good in their lives. They'll never have it as good as we do," he answered wryly. Well, he couldn't keep back everything, could he?
Kurt's dejected sign was proof that he should have tried harder. "Sorry."
"It's fine. We just have to lay low." Kurt's eyes narrowed as he gazed down the hall. "And that is not laying low."
Sebastian followed his eye-line and raised his eyebrows in shock. "Wow."
Tina and Mike were huddled near their lockers, pretending to share notes. But if the suspicious looks from the teachers and faculty were any indication, it wasn't working. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hand as they pushed past the other students over to the couple. He leaned in to inform them softly, "You two need to be more discreet."
Kurt added, "If you're still going to see each other just do it as a group. We promise not to say anything or make it awkward."
Tina stepped back, he face paling with shock. Mike was more composed, keeping his face closed and his emotions under control as he responded, "That's not it. We're just sharing notes."
"You're not even in the same grade," Kurt pointed out.
"They're his notes from last year. You know I have problems in history," Tina supplied, even though her eyes were darting back and forth across the hall.
"Seriously Tina," Kurt replied, looking straight in her eye. "Just be careful. You can trust us."
"It's fine," she snapped and pulled Mike away from the two of them.
Sebastian frowned. "What the hell was that?"
Kurt shrugged next to him. "No clue. Obviously nothing good."
The next two days passed exactly the same. A new message came each day, painted in bright red and subsequently scrubbed off every night. The second message was just like the first, just a line about birds waiting to fly as the dusk rolled in. Sebastian had rolled his eyes at that one. The rebels certainly stuck to their theme for whatever reason they had for it.
The third day surprised everyone. Almost as if they had known how little Sebastian thought of them, they had changed it completely.
This time it was a quote by Lincoln, which Kurt had quickly looked up on his phone.
"Why should there not be a patient confidence in the ultimate justice of the people? Is there any better or equal hope in the world?"
Instead of being signed the actual author's name, or even the traditional W signature, there was a bright blue B following the quote.
"Did they change their name?" Kurt had pondered aloud. "I've never heard of them changing it."
Sebastian had asked, "Well, just how much do you know about them? If we're going to be targeted by them I think we should be on even footing."
Kurt had shrugged. "I don't know much. We aren't taught anything and the news only talks about them defiling public property. But I know they started about two years ago and the police are holding them responsible for several abductions."
"Yeah, people disappearing, ones who are really strong system supporters according to the news. But we can't take everything from them. They always make it out to be a tragedy."
"Yeah, a real tragedy, being taken from the perfect system. How horrible."
But the letter B still bothered him and Sebastian found himself lying awake each night trying to remember why it struck a chord with him. Each time he would shrug it off and try to sleep, but it was like a missing front tooth.
Each time there was a new message the club was treated even worse. By Friday they were all huddled in the choir room, not even able to attend classes. Mercedes was constantly on the phone with her doctor, who was urging her to stay away from such stressful situations and harmful people for the sake of her child. Rory and Sugar had been pulled out of school on Tuesday, forced to stay home and hide from the abuse. Brittany had fought her parents only because she refused to leave her fiancé.
Sebastian knew it couldn't last, there had to be some kind of normalcy on the horizon soon. He desperately hoped that it would end over the weekend. The last message had an air of finality to it, which he was banking on.
Now we fly, for tonight the stars are ours. -W
Each day Kurt seemed to become more and more conflicted. When he spoke to his family, he was strong, saying that they had started this so they needed to deal with the consequences. But alone he was quiet and reserved. Sebastian wished that the reluctance Kurt gave off had just started with the messages. But he hadn't been able to get Kurt to really open up to him since Sebastian had finally made love to him, since he had told him about his grandmother. Had he scared Kurt? They had agreed to try and fall in love with each other and frankly Sebastian had been shocked at how easy it had been to fall for Kurt. Maybe he had been falling in love with him from the moment they had met in the back room, waiting to be sentenced to marriage for life.
But Sebastian would give anything to wipe that hurt look off Kurt's face. No matter how close they were physically, Kurt was pulling away from him emotionally.
As the week drew to a close, Coach Sue ushered them out of the school, handing out packets of homework to the students. Only about half of the teachers had provided make up work for the students who had been forced to hide and Sebastian sighed at the thought of all his failed classes. The school wasn't allowed to hold back married students, but it would certainly impact any jobs they wanted and if they could get into college.
Coach Sue had taken a deep breath and she reached Kurt, sizing them up before handing over their packets of schoolwork. Sebastian was shocked at how much there was, almost twice as much as everyone else.
Sue smirked at his expression. "I wasn't about to let a former Cheerio fail because of some stupid glee stunt, nor could he be held back by his dim-witted giant of a husband. Ridiculous."
Kurt grinned fully for the first time all week as she turned and stalked off, huffing as she went. "Thank you!" She didn't respond.
Sebastian watched her, confused. "What the hell was that?"
"I used to be on her Cheerios, about two years ago. She's always been nice to me, which is rare for her. She certainly still treats everyone else like dirt."
Sebastian shook his head. "Man, where do you find that kind of crazy? I'll bet her spouse took off for Africa as soon as he could."
"She's not married."
"Bull shit." Sebastian stopped in his tracks in the middle of the empty parking lot.
"It's true. She's not allowed to. Her sister was born with a mental disability. Coach was tested and she has a high likelihood of passing it on to her children. So she was taken out of the system. It's the same reason why Ms. Pilsbury was married to Mr. Schue so late. She has OCD that wasn't treated properly until recently. So they had to wait to be married to prove that she wouldn't give it to her children."
Sebastian felt a fresh well of rage bubbling within him. "There is something seriously fucked up about that."
Kurt hummed in agreement, but didn't say anything else on the subject for the rest of the weekend. They passed the time quickly with their schoolwork, not even daring to leave the apartment other than to spend time with Rachel and Santana, who were hiding out as well. They did their best to ignore the rest of the world until Monday came again.
When it did, Kurt and Sebastian were steeling themselves against the wrath they were sure was on its way. Sebastian realized just how unprepared they were for the consequences as the picked out no less than six police cars and three news vans outside the school.
"Something happened," he muttered, mostly to himself.
Kurt nodded and parked, taking a deep breath when he noticed three officers making their way to the vehicle. Sebastian quickly took his hand as they knocked on the window.
"Mr. Hummel and Mr. Smythe?" Both boys nodded. "You both need to make your way to the choir room immediately."
Kurt asked quickly, "What's this about?"
The officer didn't change his official tone as he answered, "The disappearance of Michael Chang and Christina Cohen-Chang."
As they walked to the choir room, Kurt realized that he had never seen the student body stunned into such a powerful silence. Even when they were studying silently, there was still the shuffling and whispers that came from the mass of people. Now, as Kurt and Sebastian were led through the school, there wasn't a sound from the students grouped at the edge of the halls. Still, he didn't dare glance at them; even though the cold dread building in his stomach made him want to break away to the restroom to empty his stomach of it.
They turned into the room to find half the club there. Rachel and Santana were waiting in the middle of the room, with a few more people being led in each minute until everyone was grouped together.
As Kurt sat next to her, Rachel spoke, "You know, we didn't even make it to our class before they stopped us."
Kurt shook his head. "They took us from our car in the parking lot." She fell silent.
When everyone had arrived, the head officer moved to the center of the room, standing in Mr. Schuester's place. He was balding and pale, sweating at his temples. He wore glasses, and despite his age, he was well-built. His eyes were a hard glinting grey, and Kurt held back a shudder when they rested on him, full of hatred.
"As some of you were informed, you are here as a direct result of the disappearance of two students. They were last seen by an officer driving south towards Kentucky. Since the full extent of their actions has been revealed, attempts have been made to recover them with no success. We have been brought to the conclusion that the root of the corruption must be held responsible."
Puck scoffed. "Then I guess you'll be arresting your precious senator. He's the one who did this to them."
The officer raised a salt and pepper eyebrow at him and replied, "Actually we will be holding the members of this club accountable. As no student was inclined to rebel until the actions of all of you encouraged them to do so, we feel it would be better to ensure that all people know that you will either support the system and all it stands for and enjoy the protection of the state, or you will be held accountable. Those are your choices."
Finn piped up from the back of the room, "What do you mean choices?"
"I mean that the law has been benevolent enough to offer you several choices." He nodded to another officer, who stepped over and handed him a file. "You can be charged with the full extent of your crimes. You will be arrested for inciting rebellious actions that have eventually led to treason. The law will not be lenient on you. Those of you who are married will be tried as adults and those of you who are unmarried will be removed from the system entirely. I need not remind you that access to successful jobs and participation in the community can only come from being a part of the system. This is your first option."
Kurt bit back his emotions and fumbled desperately at his side for Sebastian's hand. His husband grasped it firmly, tight with just as much wild need.
The officer continued speaking, ignoring the panicked looks that were being thrown around the room. "Your second option comes from the fact that we believe in redemption. We would like you to set this right and learn from your actions. We do not want to remove young people with so much promise from society, so we offer you this: you have three days to find your missing friends. If they are returned within that time, and the wedding of Mr. Chang and Ms. Pierce takes place, all will be forgiven. We know that children make mistakes and we don't want to punish you for them if you truly wish to be a part of society."
"And what if we can't find them?" Sebastian asked, his voice soft to hide the fear coating it.
"We still do not wish to punish you for the effort, but if you cannot restore them to us, another form of redemption must be made. You must still be held responsible." He cleared his throat and opened the folder in his hands. "We are prepared to forgive all offences if the original cause for the treason is rectified. Several state researchers have been looking into this very delicate situation, and they have all attested that the root of these issues seems to be the recent wave of unusual marriages. So if Misters Hummel and Smythe, along with Ms. Lopez and Ms. Berry, agree to be reassigned to a conventional marriage, there will be no charges, no record and no punishment."
Kurt couldn't breathe. His hand was clenched tight around Sebastian's. Give up? Let Sebastian go and be forced to marry someone else, a woman he could never love? His head spun with the picture it painted, watching him marry someone else, a smiling beautiful girl who he knew Sebastian would hate. He couldn't bear the idea of the person he loved suffering for the rest of his life, forced once again to break under the will of the system.
Sebastian's hand, sweating with nerves, loosened so that he could twist the ring that Kurt wore. It was so comfortable now, and he rarely thought of it. But now the idea of losing that ring, having it ripped away from him, was making Kurt dizzy. Sebastian twisted the ring for a second before wrapping his whole hand around the finger it was on, squeezing tightly. It hurt a little, an awkward pull that made his joints ache, but Kurt didn't want him to let go. It was a tense reassurance that Sebastian wasn't willing to lose what they had either.
Rachel spoke, standing to face the man. Around the room, the other offices tensed, as if ready to attack. Kurt wondered just why they were so threatened by a tiny girl like her. Why was anyone threatened by the people in this room? Just what had they done that was really so wrong? Rachel's voice was steady. "When do we need to give you our response by?"
"You will either need to bring the missing persons to the center in three days or present yourselves for reassigning in that time. Anything but these actions will result in the immediate arrest of all of you."
"Alright," Kurt muttered when the officers didn't move after the pronouncement, obviously waiting for a response. They finally broke their stance and filed out of the room, closing the door behind them.
Silence reigned in the room until Puck finally broke it.
"You said it," Santana responded, letting out a deep breath. "What the hell are we going to do?"
"We're going to have to find Mike and Tina," Brittany offered.
"And ruin their chance at happiness just to save our necks? Hell no," Mercedes snapped. "I'm not going to be that kind of coward, and I'll be ashamed if any of you are."
"But I don't think they wanted this to happen," Artie supplied cautiously. "They'd never hurt us on purpose."
"Maybe they didn't know," Sam suggested.
Finn sighed before speaking up. "We're not thinking about the third option, right?"
Kurt turned to glare at him for even bringing it up. "I'm certainly not and I don't think you'll get too far with it if any one of us refuses." Sebastian murmured his assent, but he seemed lost in thought.
Rachel glanced at Santana, who just shrugged and said, "I'm not going to hold you back if you want to marry someone else Rachel. But this hasn't sucked completely and being with you is a hell of a lot better than sleeping with Puck."
"Hey," he protested, but the effort was only half there.
Santana continued, "But if you really want to marry someone else, go for it. I'm pretty sure they'll be matching us with other people, outside of the group, but you might get Finn."
Rachel shook her head. "No, I don't want to give in." She turned back to face Finn. "I'm sorry but I just can't do that. I care about Santana and too many people have been hurt by the system to just give in."
He nodded, biting his lip and staring at his hands in his lap. "That's fine. I get it. Don't worry about me." he looked over at Kurt and gave him a small smile. "I wasn't saying that I wanted you to do it, dude. I just wanted to make sure we weren't talking about it."
Kurt smiled back at him, not really feeling the joy, but it helped that his brother was on his side.
Sam said, "Well, that still leaves us with a lack of options. I think we're going to have to find Tina and Mike." Mercedes glared at him and he protested, "I'm serious! I know Mike wouldn't have wanted this and you all know it too! They wouldn't just leave us to take the blame for them!"
"But that still means we have to find them," Artie groaned. "And we have no leads other than a few cryptic messages."
"That's not enough to go off of," Kurt sighed.
"Actually," Sebastian piped up, finally adding to the conversation, "I think I know where to find them."
Santana gaped at him. "You do," she deadpanned.
"Yeah. Kurt, do you remember the night I left for a while, after you told me about Quinn?" he asked as he gestured everyone to move in closer and dropped his voice so that no one outside of the room could hear them.
Slowly, Kurt nodded. "Yeah...?"
"Remember I told you I met someone, that homeless kid who tried to sleep with me?"
"There has got to be more to that story," Puck muttered as Santana snorted in laughter.
Sebastian waved them off. "Well, I finally figured out what was bothering me about the second to last message, the Lincoln one. It was signed B, only the letter. And that boy I met, that's what he called himself! Only B! And he asked me what I was looking for, like he was waiting for someone." He began to whisper excitedly. "I never told you where I was, did I? I was at a national park, Lincoln's birthplace!"
Rachel gasped, "Lincoln!" before the group could silence her.
"And here's the best part," Sebastian said with a grin. "He was carrying a tie from my old school, Dalton. Do you remember what the name of the old show choir group was?"
Everyone shook their head except for Puck who asked, "The Garglers?"
"No," Sebastian huffed. "The Warblers. They vanished two years ago!"
Kurt's head was starting to spin with the realization. "Two years..."
"Yes! Exactly when you said the rebels first came! A warbler is a bird so that explains all the stupid puns."
Rachel had her hand to her chest in exaggerated shock, as she sighed, "Musical rebels!"
Kurt shared a small smile with her, but now was not to time to get too excited over the idea.
Sam asked, "So what now? We know who to go to and we know where. Do we all go tonight?"
Kurt shook his head. "No. I think that's too risky. They'll think we're all running away. If just Sebastian and I go, we can say we're just looking for Tina and Mike."
Finn questioned, "That's what we're doing, right?"
Kurt shrugged. "I'm not sure." He glanced around the room, taking in how they were all looking to him to make the choice. Even Sebastian was looking up at him, eyes soft and respectful. Since when had he become of leader of the group? "But it's all we have to go off us. It's this or jail time."
"Man, I am not going back there," Puck said to himself, and Artie gave him a fist bump.
Sebastian gave Kurt's hand one more squeeze. "So that's it. Kurt and I will go tonight and then meet you all tomorrow morning."
Sam raised his hand. "Our place is good."
"Thanks." Sebastian nodded at him and Mercedes, who was still unhappy with their choice. He stood to leave. "We'd all better go home now before the school goes wild on us."
Kurt gave a fake shudder and followed the group out of the room, falling silent as they rushed out of the school. He was scared, as anyone had a right to be. How had things shifted so quickly? Just a few weeks ago, he had been worried about winning Sectionals. A few months ago, he was worried about getting along with Sebastian and just before that he had been living at home and dreaming of moving to a bigger city. Now Sebastian was his family and he was worried about spending the rest of his life in prison just because they wanted real love. Now he knew he loved Sebastian with all his heart, and even if Sebastian would never love him as much as Kurt did, the boy was still the keeper of his heart. He couldn't imagine living without his smile and wicked eyes. Kurt should have trusted himself when he woke up twisted all around Sebastian even when they were fighting. His sleeping self had known how precious Sebastian was before his heart even had time to love.
But that was all coming crashing down around him. Kurt felt like his life was a mirror someone had wrapped in a cloth and shattered. He was still surrounded by the softness and care of his friends and his husband, but his life was broken beyond repair. He had no school and no future and if the Senator had his way, he would lose his lover as well.
How do people do it, he wondered, live on the edge of nothingness and simply keep going? There was a kind of strength in it that Kurt wasn't sure he had. He was seared by the changed ripping his life apart and all Kurt could do was grab Sebastian's hand and hope that he wouldn't lose the one thing still holding him together.
The road to Kentucky was even longer than Sebastian remembered it. Granted, the last time he drove it he had been lost in a haze of anger, so he couldn’t have been counted to recall the exact hours. The drive was just as silent. The difference was having a tense Kurt beside him. He was watching the streetlights absently out the window, but his hand was clenched into a fist on his lap for the better part of an hour. When they reached the highway, Sebastian slid his hand to the middle and a bit further, brushing it against Kurt’s, a request that Kurt ignored. Still, Sebastian kept his hand there, wrapped around Kurt’s thigh. They didn’t drive like this often, either too tired in the morning or too distracted at other times. But it was almost nice, if not for the impending trouble.
“There,” Kurt muttered, pointing out a wood sign just barely lit at the base of it. It was late enough that no one would be there, about an hour after dark.
Sebastian pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car, closer to the center this time and under a light. Kurt didn’t say anything as he climbed out; he stood there shivering slightly in the cold night air. Sebastian came around to wrap his arm around him and finally Kurt responded, melting into him and his warmth.
“So now what?”
Sebastian shrugged. “We wait, I guess. Last time he came to me.”
“Do you think he’ll still be there, even with Tina and Mike gone?”
“He was just waiting last time and that was before Mike got matched. So I think-”
A crack cut Sebastian off and Kurt tensed in his arms, his eyes darting back and forth.
Sebastian spotted him first, peering around the side of the building, just a head covered in a winter hat. Sebastian raised his hand in greeting and B came all the way out. Kurt stepped away as he did, obviously trying to hide his shiver as he did.
B was dressed warmer than before, with a wool jacket and a red scarf. But he still had the tie looped around his gloved hand. He moved closer obviously watching for any police officers and Sebastian prayed that none had followed him.
“Hello,” Kurt said, finally drawing B’s complete attention. The shorter boy gave him a long glance, his face lighting up in a brief but bright smile. It made him beautiful, even with his eyes still dark with suspicion.
B asked in a practiced tone, “So what are you looking for?”
Kurt and Sebastian shared a look before Sebastian answered, “I think we’re looking for a Warbler.”
B’s smile brightened even further. “Well, then you came to the right place.” He relaxed, bringing his arms down from where they had been wrapped around his chest and even his eyes seemed lighter, crinkled at the edges and familiar as he grinned at Kurt. “I was actually just waiting for you to ask about Tina and Mike, but that’s even better. How did you figure it out?”
Sebastian pointed at his hand. “Your tie. I remembered it from last time. I went to Dalton and we were trying to restart the show choir there.”
B blushed and dropped his eyes. “I can’t imagine that would be easy at all. I’m sorry about that. We didn’t want to stop anyone who wants to sing at Dalton. I loved singing there.”
Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t sing there anymore.”
“I heard. The New Directions are pretty famous among groups like ours.”
Kurt asked, “Is there more than just one group…”
“You thought that because they’ve been tricking you,” B said gently, and Sebastian narrowed his eyes at the hand B placed on Kurt’s shoulder. “But there are groups around the world, usually through countries that are outside of the system. The Warblers aren’t the first group by a long shot. We just focus on this area because we all know it well. It’s our home,” B finished with a little shrug.
“It’s still your home, even after leaving it?” Kurt questions, sympathy clouding his voice.
B gave a dejected laugh. “Well, you can’t escape your roots, no matter what.”
Sebastian broke in, harsher than he usually would. But it was bothering him watching Kurt’s eyes fill with admiration for this astonishingly beautiful boy. It hurt in a way Sebastian hadn’t imagined he could ever feel. “While I sympathize and all, this really isn’t what we came here to talk about.”
Kurt nodded, but still didn’t take his eyes off B. “Yeah, we need to find Mike and Tina.”
B replied, “Yeah, they’re safe. We took them out of the country.”
Sebastian scoffed. “Well that won’t help, because the police are demanding we bring them back.”
“No,” B snapped back, making Sebastian retreat at the anger in his eyes. “We will never bring someone back here, not back to the system.”
Kurt tried to placate his anger. “But we need them back or the whole club will be arrested. It’s that or all the same sex couples agree to be reassigned.” Sebastian nodded and was about to tell B just how unwilling he was to lose Kurt when he answered.
“No, you can’t ever do that! You can’t be thrown in jail for the rest of your lives. And damn it, you cannot ever be reassigned!” B huffed, biting his lip before continuing, just as forcefully. “Don’t you get what you are? You are hope for millions of people out there. We rebels can fight back behind a mask and a letter and that’s fine. Hell, that’s almost safer for us than it is for you. And people see that, but they are still. They see how we hide and they hide too. But then comes along you and your club. A group of normal people like everyone else, who aren’t afraid to tell everyone how unhappy they are; people see you singing about how wrong it is and everyone has to listen. Music is a message that people can’t ignore and that’s why the system is so damn scared of you. You can’t give in, not ever!”
“Didn’t think we were that important,” Kurt murmured after a moment of silence, his face tinted with red.
B smiled at him still bright with emotion. “Well that and you have a beautiful voice.”
Sebastian broke in, still fighting the nausea building in his stomach. “So what the hell are we going to do? Because Mike and Tina still screwed us.”
“No, they didn’t,” B replied. “We figured there might be some kind of backlash. So we planned a way to get you all out; we can do it tomorrow if we need to. We’re ready if you are.”
“Why couldn’t they just tell us about it?” Kurt asked.
“Because if there wasn’t a backlash you’d be in more danger just for knowing.”
“Then what is your grand solution?” Sebastian demanded. “Because we have to go back and tell the club what we found tomorrow and without it, we’ll have gotten nowhere.”
B nodded and began to explain. “We want you all to go home and pack a small bag, only the essentials and enough to last for three days. Sentimental things are fine as long as they’re small.”
Both boys agreed and Sebastian could see Kurt already begin to mentally plan what he would bring.
“Tomorrow night, have everyone drive out here, in separate cars. Maybe three or four cars would be the best, and at different times. It’ll look bad if you come all at once. You can wait in the visitor’s center; it’ll be unlocked for you all. Then we’ll come at 10:30 sharp and everyone will leave.”
“Where are we going?” Kurt questioned.
“Mexico. Canada is an option too, but Mexico is safer and it will null all marriages. They aren’t legal there if matched by the system.”
Sebastian blinked in shock. “Excuse me?”
B gestured between the two of them. “You won’t be married any more there. You’ll be free to choose whoever you like.”
Sebastian swallowed hard and for a wild moment thought of refusing to leave, just so that he could keep Kurt. He wanted to run and never look back. Free. What a miserable word.
But that thought died when Kurt tilted his head in agreement and glanced at Sebastian with hard acceptance in his eyes. “Free. That would be good.”
Sebastian just couldn’t trap Kurt like that. Wasn’t that what Kurt wanted, someone sweet and gentle and a new home? He could just imagine Kurt on a warm beach, laughing and wrapped in the arms of someone else. If that was what he wanted, Sebastian certainly wasn’t going to keep it from him.
B was speaking again. “There will be someone to meet you, someone familiar so that everyone knows they can trust us. I know how hard it can be to trust a random stranger.” He leaned in to mock whisper to Kurt, “I think he got off to a bad start when we first me.” They laughed together and suddenly there wasn’t just a mystery man in Sebastian’s vision. It was B holding Kurt and whispering how much he loved him over the sound of the surf.
Kurt pulled back from B and shivered once more as the wind started to pick up. “It’s late and we have a long way to go.” B nodded in agreement as Kurt continued. “Thank you. This means a lot to us B.”
B jumped a little and gave a small chuckle. “Wow, I didn’t realize that I didn’t tell you my name.” He held out his hand. “I’m Blaine.”
Kurt smiled softly at him and took his hand. “Pleased to meet you Blaine. I’m sure you know that I’m Kurt and this is Sebastian.”
Blaine grinned and pulled back his hand to offer it to Sebastian, who stared at it for a moment before clasping it in a firm shake. He could be a gentleman; he could honorably duck out and let Kurt have hid happiness, no matter how much it killed him. He cleared his throat and spoke, “We should go.”
Kurt agreed and gave Blaine another smile as they walked back to the vehicle. He climbed into the passenger side and spoke with a voice tight with emotion. Sebastian supposed it was simply nerves. “We’re going to be free. I never thought we would have this chance.”
Sebastian didn’t trust himself to speak, sick as he was with dread.
It took Kurt at least half as long as he expected to pack, finishing in only 20 minutes after they arrived home late into the night. He had been absently planning what to bring for the entire ride home, a desperate need to distract himself from the thought of losing Sebastian. In only a few days, he would be alone again, no matter how much Sebastian promised he wouldn’t leave.
Kurt knew that he wasn’t even angry at the situation. He should be, for all that he had been through, but in the end he was just sinking into the hole that Sebastian’s absence would leave behind. It was a ridiculous thought that made it all worse, the nagging voice in the back of his head that told Kurt about how much Sebastian loved him and would never willingly leave, marriage or not. But the words were quickly washed away by the wistful look Sebastian had worn when he spoke of his grandmother. It was a look that told Kurt Sebastian deserved better than some half romance forced on them both by a government that had zero care for their happiness. Sebastian deserved someone who chose to sit with him, just to feel the warmth of his closeness, someone who woke him up with a smile just because he was happy to know that Sebastian was there. He deserved someone who loved him enough to give himself to Sebastian for their first time, not out of requirement but out of love. Sebastian deserved so much more than what the state had taken from him, so Kurt was going to be damned if he stopped him from seizing it.
It was the thought of Sebastian giving it to the person he loved that had Kurt folding the knitted afghan and stuffing it into the duffle bag they were sharing. They would have to sacrifice a few clothes for it, but Kurt reasoned that it would be worth it. Most of his clothes were meant for the colder Midwest temperatures, leaving him with few options for the heat of Mexico. Kurt found himself setting aside jeans, simple boots, a tee shirt and a sweater fir the travel days, but filling the rest of the bag with only a few pants, one extra sweater and a couple shirts. It was killing him to think of all the amazing clothes he was leaving behind, but other than a few accessories and a bottle of his favorite lotion all his belongings would be waiting in an empty apartment for the police to seize.
Sebastian brought over his own bag, just his backpack stuffed with clothes and a few toiletries. Kurt reached out his hand for it and Sebastian rolled his eyes.
“Really? I am capable of packing my own clothes.” But he smiled and handed over the bag.
“I know, but I’m not too sure about your practicalities. I could only expect you to bring a dozen socks and a few ties.”
“Ties can be useful for travel. Useful for anything worth doing actually.”
Kurt grinned when his hand brushed plastic in the bag, Sebastian’s laptop protected by the fabric around it. “This is going to be hell to carry.”
“I don’t care, Our movies are on there.”
Kurt’s throat tightened, remembering the nights when he and Sebastian would curl up and watch them together. But that was over now. “Well, you’ll get to watch them as much as you want, as long as you deal with carrying it.”
Sebastian sighed and slumped to the ground, resting back against their tiny fridge. “Well, this isn’t exactly a sleepover. This is the rest of our lives, starting over with almost nothing. I’d like to have something from this place.”
Kurt nodded as he set the bags aside, ready for their departure the next day. All they had to do now was wait and talk to their friends in the morning. “I know. I feel terrible for not telling anyone. I don’t even have time to tell my dad.” A roll of regret washed over him, yet another he was trying not to feel, the thought of his father finding out that Kurt would never be able to come home. He had supported Kurt as much as possible through their musical rebellion, and had even told Kurt how much he liked Sebastian when he wasn’t making bad jokes in front of the family. But Kurt just couldn’t risk getting him in trouble by telling him where he was going. He knew his dad would be pissed for Kurt trying to protect him but Kurt preferred an angry father to one thrown into jail.
Sebastian nudged him with his foot. “I don’t think that’ll be a god idea anyway. Look how much trouble we got in and we’re only friends with Mike and Tina. Your dad would try and help and then he’ll get into even more trouble.”
“I’m worried about him even as it is. What if they punish him for us?”
Sebastian crawled forward until his head was resting on Kurt’s knee, forcing their eyes to meet. “Relax baby, he’ll be fine. Your dad’s strong and pretty smart. He can do this. You just need to take care of yourself so that he doesn’t have to worry about you. He’ll be fine.”
Kurt smiled at him, bringing a hand up to thread his fingers through Sebastian’s hair. “Thank you,” he breathed before letting his lips twist up into a smirk. “And God, I just realized you haven’t stopped calling me that.”
Grinning up at him, Sebastian teased, “I told you. When it stops bothering you, until then you’re going to be my baby.”
Kurt’s grin tightened, realizing that this was one of those things he would have to give up, their playful names and shared history. His mind drifted back to the first time Sebastian had called him that, with Kurt crowded into him and fearing the hormone device injection. The nickname had been full of derision then, mocking his fears, but Sebastian’s arms had been warm and reassuring, even then. Kurt spoke with a thick voice, not meeting his eyes but he couldn’t take his hand away from Sebastian’s hair. “Well, it doesn’t bug me now, so you’ll have to find someone else to torment.”
Kurt felt Sebastian swallow below him. “Well, I guess we can both do that now. We can find other people.”
Kurt took a slow breath to steady himself. “Yeah, we can choose whoever we want when we get there. It feels strange.”
“You could choose that Blaine guy. He seems nice.”
Kurt frowned, wondering where this had come from. Blaine had been sweet and beautiful. IT was the strangest thing to think of the smiles and compliments the other boy had given him. Was that how interested people interacted when there was no expectation in life, sweet words and actions to draw someone to you, instead of comparing statistics on all your classmates to see who you could afford to fall for? He could see the appeal and could almost imagine what it could be like if he were to response to Blaine’s compliments. He could picture kissing him, tucking his arms around the short boy’s neck and feeling those delicate fingers at his hips. But it was a fleeting thought, killed by the feel of the stunning boy under his hands. Kurt knew it was entirely possible for him to love Blaine, and they might be wonderful together. But he had no heart to give, not after it had been lost to Sebastian’s crooked smiles and lithe body hiding a shockingly gentle heart. It would take Kurt years to build a new heart once Sebastian had left with his old one.
“Blaine was nice,” he responded simply, not wanting to let on how disappointed he was. But his curiosity was killing him. “What do you think about this, our separating?”
Sebastian was quiet for a moment. “I think it would be good for you to have a choice in who you love.”
“You too,” Kurt quickly added. “Though you should still change your hair if you want anyone halfway decent looking.” Jokes were safe, nothing that could really hurt them.
“I’m serious Kurt.” Sebastian sat up and took Kurt’s hands in his own. “You can have anyone you want. You can choose anyone in the world to love.”
Kurt had to drop his eyes to hide from Sebastian’s. How he could always convey so much emotion in his voice and eyes had always left Kurt breathless. “I’ve already chosen, I think,” he whispered, ashamed to come right out and say that he loved Sebastian only to trap him in something he didn’t want.
“I see,” Sebastian responded, his voice a little tight and cold. He sighed and glanced around the room. “This is our last night here. It might have been Government Issue, but it’s still our home for one more night as least. How do you want to spend it?”
Kurt shrugged. “What do you have in mind? We’ll have to sleep soon.” It was a relief that Sebastian wasn’t holding his confession against him.
Sebastian chuckled through a small smirk. “We could spend our last night like we spent the first. Or we could-”
“No,” Kurt cut him off, shocked by how much he wanted a night of intimacy with the husband he was swiftly losing.
Sebastian cupped his cheek. “Are you sure about that? We don’t have to?”
“I’m sure as long as you want it,” Kurt muttered boldly.
“Don’t be silly Kurt. I always want you.” Sebastian leaned in and kissed Kurt deeply. Kurt relished the feel of their lips meeting and soon the desperation took over. He pushed up from the floor and moved on top of Sebastian, still kissing him as he tangled their legs and slid his hands down Sebastian’s chest.
Sebastian’s hands were roaming as well, slipping under Kurt’s shirt and pulling it off him. Kurt shivered as his skin was exposed, but he couldn’t tell if it was due to the colder air or because of Sebastian’s blunt nails dragging down his back. Even in all their time together, Sebastian had never broken the rule about marking Kurt, and that was something he had always loved about his husband. But tonight he wanted the marks, the kisses bruised into him and the outline of Sebastian’s hands on his hips. He wanted to take proof of how much Sebastian had wanted him into the next stage of his life. He imagined looking in a mirror in Mexico, the lonely person in the reflection and seeing the fading patches; it wasn’t much to hope for, but it would help keep him from losing his mind as well as Sebastian.
He licked slowly along Sebastian’s bottom lip once more before pulling back. “I want you to fuck me.” Kurt had given up on being shy about sex ages ago; it just hadn’t been possible with how they lived. But this was harder to say, so Kurt gathered his courage in a breath before he spoke. “I want you to mark me, everywhere if you can.”
Sebastian groaned and tightened his hands on the small of Kurt’s back, briefly digging his nails into Kurt. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do that just for me.”
Kurt responded heavily. “I know. This isn’t just for you. This is for me. You said it was about me being yours. But for me, it’s about a lasting memory. I want to remember our last night here for a long time.” ‘My last night with you,” he added mentally.
Sebastian nodded, his eyes dark with want. “We should get on the bed. We need to use it one last time.” They both stood and Sebastian pulled off his shirt, tossing it into the laundry. “I guess we don’t have to worry about keeping it clean,”
Kurt barely heard his as he recalled something from their first night. He stepped in and quickly pinned Sebastian to the door. It was different this time, with their jackets hanging on the back of it, as well as how Sebastian melted right into the kiss. But that made it almost sweeter, especially when Sebastian tipped his head to the side, offering his neck to Kurt. He dove in and sucked a heavy bruise into the skin. He had one hand buried in his hair and one hand on Sebastian’s hip, his thumb pressed into the dip made by the bone and the other fingers sneaking under his briefs.
Sebastian groaned and bucked his hips into Kurt’s, pressing his growing erection into the bulge there. “I thought I’d be the one marking you,” he panted heavily as Kurt bit his collarbone.
“I know. You are. But you know I like to give as good as I get.” Kurt nudged Sebastian’s neck the other way, leaving it open for even more bruises.
“Baby, I’m not going to have enough of a mind left to give you what you deserve if you keep this up.” Sebastian rocked his hips again and they both reacted to the wave of warmth coursing through the both of them. “Fuck Kurt!” he shouted as the feeling washed over him. He gathered his strength and pushed Kurt back a few inches, just enough so he could kiss him and try to lead him to the bed.
They made it to the steps before Sebastian pushed Kurt against the edge of the bed. They kissed like that for a moment, hands hot over the skin of their chests. Finally, Kurt tilted his neck when they separated, an offering to Sebastian.
Sebastian caught his eye once more. Seeing the approval there, he lowered his mouth to Kurt’s neck. Kurt breathed deep, suddenly struck by the memory of Sebastian sleeping there, slow, hot breaths covering the area each night like a promise. Now he would have a deeper memory of Sebastian. Kurt shivered as he felt teeth there, and groaned loudly when Sebastian finally bit down, suction pulling the blood to the surface. Sebastian’s hands tightened around his back and Kurt felt his knees start to buckle as Sebastian picked a new spot, sucking hard and panting against his skin. His hands released Kurt and unbuckled his pants, letting them slide to the floor. Sebastian followed by hitting his knees. He bit a mark into the skin just above Kurt’s briefs before mouthing his hard cock through the fabric. Kurt groaned and swore as his husband sucked the tip through the cotton, his hands pressed against the length of him and massaging his balls. When the cotton was damn and Kurt was almost collapsing, Sebastian finally pulled back and lisft6ed Kurt onto the bed, with Kurt helping to pull himself up. Kurt tugged off his underwear and spread his legs.
“Please Sebastian.” Kurt didn’t have to beg long before Sebastian crowded him again. He ignored the cock in front of him in favor of the creamy clear skin near it.
He had just started to suck a cluster of marks on hs thighs and hips when Kurt pushed at his shoulders.
“No, I want you up here with me.” Kurt pulled his legs up onto the bed, entirely out of Sebastian’s reach. He groaned and tried to follow him up, but Kurt stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Pants off please.”
Sebastian nodded and quickly stripped himself, taking little are for where he threw his clothes. His mind was on Kurt’s skin and tasting as much of it as possible. He wanted to sear the flavor into his mind. He was finally let into the bed and wasted no time in pinning Kurt to it, pressing his whole body along the length of him.
Kurt hissed as his cock was pressed against Sebastian. It quickly shifted into a moan as kisses and bites were strewn across his body. He closed his eyes and felt himself start to burn at each random place, starting on his skin before sinking deeper and melting any inhibitions Kurt had before. Sleeping with Sebastian had always been like this. Even without the marks Sebastian had always been able to take Kurt apart, fucking him to the brink of sanity and back again. Kurt desperately hoped he was at least half as good when he led them.
Sebastian finally made it down Kurt’s body once more, which was throbbing with the pressure of his bites. He spread Kurt’s legs slowly.
“Hold them open,” he instructed and Kurt groaned at him.
“I feel like we’re in a rerun,” he laughed.
Sebastian winked at him. “Well, we did say it would be the same as out first time.” He sucked a bruise into the inside of his thigh. “Maybe with a few changes.”
Kurt nodded his agreement and moaned as Sebastian finally sucked his cock into his mouth, one hand holding it steady and his tongue wrecking Kurt completely. His fingers started to slip on his legs, but everything tightened when he felt a dry finger pressing at his hole.
“Don’t you dare,” he warned breathlessly. Kurt caught the eye roll Sebastian sent his way and dropped one leg to offer him the lube. Sebastian didn’t thank him for it; instead he sucked him harder as he slicked his fingers. Kurt writhed at the feeling, only the head trapped in the warmth of his mouth. It was torture, but nothing compared to the loss his felt when it was released.
“You jerk, keep going,” Kurt spat out. “I was enjoying that.”
“I know,” Sebastian quipped, making a show of slicking four fingers. Kurt gasped as Sebastian pulled him closer, so that he was even with Kurt’s entrance. Kurt’s legs went over his shoulders, pressed intimately. “I’ve got something a little better in mind though,” he teased before closing his lips around Kurt’s balls and sucking them gently. Kurt moaned, long and high, jolting when Sebastian plunged two fingers into him. It hurt a little, as they hadn’t had the time to have sex for a while. But it felt good, just another bruise to take with him. He flashed back to their first night, Sebastian promising to mark Kurt from the inside out. He had kept that vow; Kurt knew he would never be the same, physically and emotionally, not after Sebastian.
Sebastian had just made it to three fingers, his tongue still playing a merry hell on Kurt’s nerves, when Kurt tugged on his hair. “Get up here. I want you to fuck me.”
Sebastian fucked his fingers into him one last time, just barely grazing his prostate before pulling out. He let himself be pulled up and kissed deeply. They pressed close, Kurt’s arms wrapped around him while Sebastian covered him with his whole body. Kurt almost didn’t want to move, just spend the whole night kissing his husband. But feeling his cock pressed hotly into his hip made Kurt want more, so when Sebastian pulled back for air, Kurt spread his legs in invitation.
“Fuck, Kurt,” Sebastian breathed, as he fisted the lube onto himself. “You’re fucking perfect.” Spurred on by his words, Kurt reached down and spread himself, feeling coy and sexy. When Sebastian looked at him like that, Kurt felt all his reservations blow away. Sebastian made him feel sexy simply by wanting him. So when Sebastian groaned at the sight of him spread open and waiting for his cock, Kurt couldn’t help the smirk that teased the edge of his mouth. It was quickly lost when Sebastian pressed the tip of his cock to Kurt’s hole. He paused for a second before sinking into him entirely. Kurt opened his mouth, but no sound came out, just breathless gaping.
Sebastian smirked down at him, resting on his elbows on either side of Kurt’s head. They were close enough that Kurt breathed in the air from his words. “Speechless baby?”
Kurt snapped back to reality. “Very funny.” He slid his hands down Sebastian’s back and gave his ass a quick slap. “Now move. I asked you to fuck me.”
“Ooh, bossy,” Sebastian joked, just barely keeping the lust out of his voice as he started to move, long slow thrusts at first.
“You know you love it,” Kurt groaned, not even bothering to hide how affected he was.
Sebastian murmured, “Yeah I do,” making Kurt’s heart almost stop. But he started to speed up, still giving him long thrusts but each one came with more and more power. Kurt’s mind was blank with pleasure, hands clutching at the small of Sebastian’s back as if to keep him from leaving.
Kurt’s silence was broken when Sebastian tugged his hips at a different angle, hitting his prostate on each thrust, even as each one become more and more wild and sporadic. Kurt felt his orgasm growing, sparking through his whole body.
Sebastian groaned, “Fuck, going to come baby.” His fingers were tight on Kurt’s hips, while his head was bent close to Kurt’s.
Hissing, Kurt replied desperately, “Sebastian, please… wanna come just like this, just from you.”
Exhaling harshly, Sebastian gripped Kurt’s hips with new determination, biting his lip as he sped up, slamming into Kurt. He was desperate to pull the pleasure out of Kurt.
Kurt gasped and tugged Sebastian down to his neck, offering it to his mouth. Sebastian released his lip and sank his teeth into the skin there, sending sparks of lust down Kurt’s spine. It ended at where they met and with come spurting over the both of them. Sebastian groaned, long and relieved as he felt Kurt clenching around him and the moisture between them. It didn’t take him long to reach completion, holding his hips close as he emptied himself into Kurt’s body. He collapsed on Kurt, soothing the harsh bite absently with his tongue.
Kurt ran his hands up and down Sebastian’s back, steadying his breathing and trying to get a hold of his emotions. He wanted to cry now that it was over. Sebastian shifted and raised himself up to pull out of Kurt. He hissed as Kurt’s hole clung a little to his cock and Kurt bit his lip as his body felt empty once more. He wouldn’t let Sebastian go far, and simply pulled him back into their embrace.
“We should clean up,” Sebastian muttered after a moment, his voice muffled by Kurt’s skin.
Kurt shook his head. “Let’s just sleep like this. We can shower in the morning.” He wanted to hold onto this as long as possible.
Sebastian nodded. “Ok.” He reached up and flicked off the light. He settled back down, tucking his head into Kurt’s neck as Kurt pulled the covered up over them.
Neither of them slept the whole night.
The thing that scared Sebastian as Kurt explained the events from the night before was how still everyone in the club was. He had never seen them so silent or so scared. But there they were, crowded into Sam’s living room and quiet as ghosts. He figured that’s what they were, ghosts of the happy teenagers they once had been with fear and threats shrinking them down from the brilliant dreamers they once had been. But now they could be free, if only they risked the chance to be caught. They could never have the future they once wished for, show choir superstars and famous on Broadway or in the record stores, but they could be free if they wanted.
He was ready to take that chance, to break free from the system and the fake future that it held for him. He never really wanted the half-life he would have been forced to live in America, only truly living when he was with Kurt and a second class citizen the rest of the time. Now was the time to be brave and leave it all behind. He had said his good byes to Kurt last night, with his body if not verbally. He could let Kurt go and be free to love, just the way he should have been. Sebastian just hoped he could find a separate corner of the world before Kurt fell in love again because he just didn’t think he could watch it.
Kurt finished up the explanation. “So we only have a few hours to get ready. We should leave by about four. Sebastian and I packed last night so we can help you. But tonight is our only chance.” He took a breath and glanced around the room. “So who is going to come with us?”
Santana piped up. “Do we even have a choice? Maybe they do.” She gestured towards the bulk of the group. “But I don’t think Rachel and I have much choice.”
Rachel nodded in agreement. “I think that we have to go or else they’ll keep punishing the rest of the group.”
“We don’t even know what they’ll do,” Puck snapped. “Screw waiting to be punished. I’ll go right now, clothing be damned.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “For my sake, please bring at least one change of clothing. We don’t know how long it will be before we can get new stuff.” Puck snorted but didn’t respond.
Brittany stood and shook her head. “I can’t just leave like that.”
Santana jerked her head to look at her. “Excuse me?” Her voice was soft and pained. “Didn’t you hear him? I won’t be with Rachel anymore. We can be together Brittany.”
“I can’t. I don’t want to leave my parents behind. And I don’t think it’s wrong. I like the system.” She flicked her eyes around the room as she explained. “I know you all think I’m dumb for just following the system like this, like I’m too stupid to get why you all want something different. But I like it. I don’t have to worry about who I’m going to marry. I don’t have to think about being tricked into a relationship I don’t want, or having my heart broken by someone I love cheating on me. I was happy with Mike because I know he’s a great guy. And even if I hadn’t know him before, I still would have been happy with who they picked because I trust it. Why not let someone else choose for me? They have my interests, goals, and everything. What’s wrong with trusting them?”
She stepped closer to Santana and kissed her briefly on the cheek. “I still love you but I’m not going to leave. I’m sorry.”
Brittany walked to the door and Sebastian shot his hand out to stop her. “You can’t-” he started to warn, but she cut him off.
“I won’t tell anyone about where you’re going. I’m not that mean.” She gave the room one last look, lingering on Santana’s watery eyes. “Good luck.”
Brittany was gone.
Kurt swallowed and turned to the rest of the group. Sam and Mercedes were whispering furiously in the kitchen while the rest of the group stared at the floor. Rachel had her arms wrapped around Santana’s waist and was whispering softly to her, occasionally bringing up a hand to wipe away her tears.
Finn spoke up next. “I think I’m going to stay.”
“What?” Kurt gasped at him.
“No, just listen,” Finn pleaded. “She had a point. Not about the system because that’s crazy. But about her parents. Kurt, I can’t ditch Mom and Burt like that. I mean, Burt would be cool; he’d totally respect how you have to leave. But I don’t want to leave my mom behind. She’s not as tough as you two are. And someone has to tell your dad why you just left. As much as he trusts you, he’s going to be super messed up over this.”
Kurt twisted his fingers. “I know,” he whispered and Sebastian couldn’t help the hand that reached out to rub his shoulder, boundaries be damned. “But I still have to leave.”
“I totally get that dude. Which is what I’ll tell him when I see him tonight.”
Kurt argued, “But I don’t want him to know. They’ll hurt him or punish him.”
“Yeah, but nothing they could do would hurt as much as him not knowing where you are or if you’re safe. What if he comes looking for you?”
Kurt’s mouth snapped shut. Finn moved next to him, clapping him lightly on the shoulder. “I’ll make sure he’s safe. No matter what. We’re family Kurt, remember?”
Sebastian’s hand fell off his shoulder as Kurt was tugged into a hug by the taller boy. As he pulled back, Kurt was muttering instructions. “Don’t let him order Chinese when Carol’s working late and no bacon in the house, no matter how much you want it too. And check the garage for mayo packets; he likes to go to Wendy’s for lunch even though he knows he shouldn’t.”
“Relax Kurt. I’ll take care of him. And so will Mom. Nurse, remember?”
Kurt gave a short laugh. “Ok. I trust you. Mostly.”
Finn moved away and dropped on the couch. He reached out with his foot to tap Artie’s wheel. “How about you?”
Artie sighed. “Man, do I want to come. But I think it would be better for the world in general if I stayed. I like the idea of those rebels. I always have. But I was scared of contacting them. I still want to help. I won’t ever be matched because of the chair, so I think I want to stay and help from the inside. You always need more people on the inside, right?” He smiled hopefully. “I just want to feel like I’m doing something important. So you go and tell them that if they need anything, someone to get info or to help with a plan, I’ll be here to help. Give them my information.”
Sebastian regarded him seriously. “You know the inside man is always the one in the most danger, right?”
Artie shrugged. “I know. But he’s also the most valuable. I could use being valuable.”
“You’re worth everything to us,” Rachel assured him.
“I know.” He winked at her. “But now even more people can benefit from the awesome.”
Kurt turned to Sam and Mercedes, who had just walked out from the kitchen. “Are you staying or going?”
“Going,” Mercedes stated, folding her arms resolutely. “I’m not raising a kid here if I can help it.”
“But,” Sam interjected, “we’re going to get married again when we get there.” He ducked his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “We never told anyone, but we actually put in a request to the system to be matched. We didn’t tell anyone because we didn’t want to make a big deal out of it if it didn’t happen. But we picked this.”
“I chose him before,” Mercedes added. “I’ll choose him again.”
Santana glared at them, a little calmer than before. “I always wondered about the age different between you two. Sam shouldn’t have been matched until next year.”
“Yeah, usually,” Mercedes agreed. “But we went in for DNA tests for compatibility and everything. I don’t even know all of the tests they gave us. I think we only got it because we had a high chance of pregnancy.”
“And just look at you now,” Santana laughed.
Kurt huffed a laugh, but held his hands up. “Ok, calm down. It’s almost noon now and we have to leave in four hours. Do you know what to bring?”
Puck spoke up. “Of course. Socks and underwear for Mexican babes to slather all over me.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes as Santana reached out a hand to slap him.
In the end it only took them two hours to pack up all five of them, with Kurt and Sebastian driving people home so they could back and return to Sam and Mercedes’ home. Kurt and Finn shared a long hug before he surrendered Finn to Rachel. She came into the house ten minutes later with tear tracks on her face and a determined glint in her eyes. Artie left too, giving the girls and Kurt hugs and a dual handshake hug to the guys. Sebastian was shocked when Artie open ed his arms for a hug for him as well.
“It’s not cause I’m gay right? Gays and girls get hugs?”
Artie rolled his eyes. “No, it’s because we were never really bros like I was with the guys. But we were friends, so shut up your snark and give me a hug good bye.”
Sebastian smiled at him and moved in close. He had never really had friends and hadn’t realized just how much the club meant to him. He had sworn they were only Kurt’s friends. But it was with a shock that he realized they were his friends as well. He would miss Artie and Finn and even Brittany for all her deluded visions.
They killed the final two hours with a movie and then they were finally on their way. Sam and Mercedes drove their own car with Puck sprawled in the backseat. Rachel drove her car with Santana in the front and Kurt and Sebastian crowded in the back. The tiny trunk hadn’t been big enough so Kurt was stuck in the middle with a duffle bag next to him and Sebastian’s arm slung casually around him. It had taken almost twenty minutes to convince Kurt that he couldn’t bring his vehicle, that they had driven it too many times to the same place. It was too big of a chance that someone would recognize it. So they dropped the keys in an envelope with Sam’d address for his father.
They weren’t too late for the drive, and arrived at the center just after 8:30. It was deserted and cold as they climbed out, stretching as they did.
Santana glanced around. “So where are they?”
Kurt shrugged. “No clue. But we should put our stuff in the building.” He grabbed his bag and hauled it to the visitor’s center, unlocked just as promised. They had just dropped all of their bags when they heard the crunch of tires outside.
“Must be them,” Rachel whispered.
They all stepped out of the building and froze on the spot.
It wasn’t the Warblers.
An officer moved forward from the collection of two dozen, flanked by ten cars, and guns drawn. “You’re under arrest for attempted treason against the state. You have the right to remain silent…”
They were caught.
The Lima town jail was only three miles away from the marriage center, a low red brick building lit only with a few street lamps. As they approached it, Kurt heard Puck mutter, “I hate this place.” He couldn’t agree more.
His hands were cuffed behind him as they were led into the building and processed through. They were searched, cell phones and wallets confiscated and thrown into a black box with a number on it. Kurt was infinitely happy that they had already brought their bags into the center; the police wouldn’t have that at least.
Not that any of it mattered. They were caught. No freedom, no escape. Kurt was certain that he would have a new marriage after all of this, but he couldn’t be sure that he would ever see Sebastian again. As the thought washed over him, Kurt couldn’t help but lean into Sebastian, where he was huddled next to him on one of the metal beds chained to the wall. They were sharing two cells, the boys in one and the girls across the aisle from them. Sam was sitting on the edge of the other bed, watching the girls, or to be honest Mercedes, intently. Puck was crouched in the back corner, absently playing with the edge of his shirt.
“So this was a mistake,” Kurt finally muttered keeping his voice low for the guards listening near the gate.
Sam turned to face him. “I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, quit being dumb Hummel,” Puck snapped. “We would have ended up here anyway. At least this way, we at least tried to escape.”
Kurt fell silent as Sebastian wrapped an arm around him. “What makes you say that?” He asked quietly.
“I feel like this all is my fault. I feel like I started it. I’m the one who picked this first. If I hadn’t-”
“Stop it baby. That’s how they want you to think and it’s wrong. You aren’t the one who made the wrong choice; they are and they made it a hundred years ago.”
“I know, this is just a little-” Kurt jumped as the metal door opened with a bang.
A guard stepped in and help his hands behind his back. “Mercedes Jones and Sam Evans. Come this way, please.” Three more officers came, one with a baton and two others to open the cell doors. The teens stepped through and clasped hands. As they were ushered out, Kurt could hear them both start demanding food and water for the group. He smiled. There was no taming the diva, no matter what.
Twenty minutes passed and a new set came, calling for Rachel and Santana. “What the hell are you doing with us?” Santana demanded as she was led out. Kurt curled into a smaller ball, clutching at Sebastian’s jacket.
“I’m scared,” he whispered as Sam and Mercedes were brought back, pale and shaking a little. But they shared a small smile and sat down.
Sebastian immediately shifted closer to Sam, tugging Kurt along with him. “What the hell is going on?”
“They brought our parents in to watch them question us.” His mouth was tight, shoulders hunched.” They offered us a chance to go back, if we just told them what we knew and why we did all this.” He ran his hand over his face, catching the tears that were starting to well in his eyes. “God, my mom was begging me to come home, but I-” His voice hitched. “I just can’t just do that. Not if she doesn’t want to. And I can’t be that kind of example for my kid. What would I tell them, that I gave up?”
Kurt placed a hand on his shoulder. “You have to make the choices you think are right.”
“This is right Kurt. Even if I spend the rest of my life in jail. But I just hated watching my mom cry like that.”
Kurt swallowed thickly, but there was nothing to say. Rachel and Santana were brought back, their hands still linked and wearing matching looks of determination. Puck was called and brought back only five minutes later.
“I don’t think they liked being told to fuck off like that,” he muttered sheepishly as he was roughly shoved back into the cell.
Finally, the last call came.
“Kurt Hummel. This way please.” Kurt frowned and glanced over to Sebastian, wondering why they weren’t being called together like everyone else, when it hit him. Sebastian would never be offered release. He was supposed to take the fall for all of this. They were supposed to abandon him and let him suffer. It wasn’t like they could bring his parents all the way from Paris, and from what Kurt knew about them, they weren’t likely to come and beg for his freedom. Kurt realized that he would have to choose between him father and Sebastian and his heart froze.
He was led into a small room to the side of the jail; there was a wood table in the middle with his father sitting on one side and an officer on the other. The officer had large brown eyes and black hair slicked back. His face was clean-shaven, with a strong jaw that was currently tense with clenched teeth. An empty chair waited for Kurt next to his father.
The officer turned to face him, his dark eyes tight with something almost like anger if his professionalism would allow it. “Kurt Hummel, you have been brought here on some very serious charges, the biggest of which include treason. I will ask you a few questions, but you should know that we are willing to forgive all of the charges if you will simply cooperate with us. We understand that you are young and we do not wish to punish you for a foolish mistake for the rest of your life. Given that you are still in high school, we’ve brought your father here to testify with you. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I get it,” Kurt responded. He knew he could never pull off the strong and silent treatment, not with his father here. Still, Kurt couldn’t help but wish he could at least hold his father’s hand for security.
“Very well. Kurt, we first need to know how this influence was brought into your life. How much has Sebastian Smythe, your legal husband, affected your political beliefs?”
Kurt was shocked. They weren’t hiding their intentions at all. “I wouldn’t say he’s affected them at all. They’re the same as they always were.”
“How much of your marriage is to your liking?”
“Excuse me?” Kurt was baffled. Just what kind of questions were these?
“Just answer the question.”
“I suppose not much of it. It’s hard to like what you can’t choose,” he snapped at the officer. It wasn’t the whole truth, but they didn’t deserve to know how much he loved his husband.
“I see.” The man pulled a pen from his pocket along with a small notebook, quickly making notes. “And just when did Mr. Smythe begin to harbor a rebellious streak? When did he become dangerous?”
There is was. The answer to what Kurt had suspected before. They were going to pin it all on Sebastian. Well, they wouldn’t have him, not alone at least. “Most likely the same time that I did, right from the beginning, when I first learned how screwed up the whole system really is.”
The officer set his pen down. “This isn’t a game, Kurt. You have been seriously influenced, perhaps for longer than you think. We simply want to determine the cause of this treason. Now, we are prepared to offer you a new marriage, one that you may approve of and potentially in a different city. We want you to have a new start; you mentioned on your profile that you would wish to live in New York. We have several men from there who we would wish to match you with, if you will simply help us in removing a dangerous criminal. We want to help you.”
Kurt snarled at him, “Well, you can help me by not trying to blame my husband for your mistakes!”
“Kurt, you couldn’t have come up with this all on your own. We have your records; you were very active on the forums for the matching site long before you met Mr. Smythe.” He flipped through the notebook. “You wrote, ‘I can’t wait to be matched, finally getting a husband and a new home.’ Now something happened to that boy, someone who was honest and good, and the only change we can come up with is Sebastian Smythe.”
“No,” Burt cut in, moving from his stony silence. Kurt was pleased to see the officer jump a little as well at the sound of his father’s voice.
Burt continued, not looking at Kurt, “He was always like this. A rebellious little brat. Always telling me he was fooling the system online, prancing about, telling me about how he was going to run off. Well, you listen up kiddo.” His father finally turned, looking him in the eye.
Kurt’s throat caught at the nickname and he was flooded with emotion. He simply nodded to show he was listening.
“I’m done with you. You may still have my name, but I don’t ever want to see you near my house again. I don’t even want to imagine you in the country. You can take that damned husband of yours and leave forever. They told me I could have you back. Well, I don’t want you back.”
Burt Hummel stood and moved to the door, where the guards were too stunned to stop him. Kurt tracked him with his eyes, taking in the figure of the man who had been his hero for his entire life. He memorized his father’s image one last time, certain that he would never see him again.
The officer snapped his notebook shut and motioned to the guards to take Kurt back to the cells. Just before Kurt left, the officer spoke. “I hope you’re happy. Now all your friends will suffer.”
Kurt simply nodded. “We already do.”
When he was returned to the cell, the first thing he did was tug Sebastian into a hug. At his worried questions, Kurt shook his head. “I’m fine.”
“Was your father-”
“Yeah.” Kurt smiled sadly at him. “He disowned me.”
“What the hell?” Sebastian’s voice echoed through the prison, so Kurt shushed him quickly.
“No, it’s fine.” Kurt stopped to push back a sob. “He let me go. He called me kiddo and told me to leave. He’ll never be in danger now, not with that on the record. I’m glad about this.”
Sebastian ran a finger just under his eye, catching a tear. “You look it. But as long as you’re happy.”
“I am happy,” Kurt reassured him. “As long as I’m free.”
“You are free Kurt, if only in your heart right now.”
Kurt huffed out a laugh. “That was too cheesy, especially for you.”
Sebastian just grinned into Kurt’s shoulder.
I love you all and thank you for reading!!!
Night in the jail turned cold. The building was technically heated, but steel bars and concrete walls did little to keep out the chill. Still, Kurt found himself drifting off to sleep, wedged between Sebastian and Sam on the cot. Sebastian’s arm around his back kept him from getting too cold as he leaned against the wall. Puck hadn’t left his corner, his eyes dark with lack of sleep, but still sharp as they watched the hallway.
Kurt woke to the sound of the door opening down the hall. The space was dark, lit only with the faint red glow of the exit sign. He tensed as footsteps came closer, stopping just before their cells.
A small light clicked on, a pen light that barely illuminated the hall. With it, Kurt could see Santana step slowly to the gate, her eyes steady and cold.
There was a man standing in the middle of the hall, filling the air with the stench of gasoline. He moved closer and Kurt could finally see his face.
The Senator had finally come to call.
Kurt jerked upright, waking Sam and Sebastian in the process. They jumped at the light and Sebastian’s face turned ugly when he recognized their guest. Puck stood and moved to the center of the gate.
Santana spoke first. “So what brings a hotshot like you here? Come to gloat?”
The senator laughed, sending a shiver through Kurt’s body at the sight of his sneering face in the half light. “Not at all. I’ve come to talk to you.”
Sebastian glanced down the hall. “Where are the guards?” His voice was tinged with alarm.
“They’re a little busy cleaning up messes at the moment. I wanted to have some time with you, just to chat.” He pulled his hands from behind his back, revealing the swipe card to release the cell doors. “I might even have a present for you,” he taunted as he waved the card.
Santana and Puck slammed into the cell doors at the same time, arms reaching through just in case they could snag it from him.
The senator just chuckled at them. “What animals you are. I should put all you rebellious little demons in a zoo. You’re just freaks after all. It’s where you belong.”
Sebastian sneered at him. “If you’re just going to insult us, why don’t you just go the hell away? We certainly don’t want you here.”
“Now why would I do that when I’ve come all this way to bring you a gift? It took a lot of work too, to make it so it’s just us in here.” He jerked his thumb behind him as he spoke and Kurt’s lump of fear in his throat grew. There was no one in view, with the door swung wide open so they all could see the pitch black entrance to the jail. There was just the barest hint of movement, but not clue as to what it actually was. Whoever was there, they were sneaking closer and Kurt certainly did not want to know who it was.
“What did you…?” he asked with a small quiver in his voice.
“I just made sure that all our officers would be busy. You know, I’m not all powerful. I have rules to follow too. And when I want to break them, I have to be very careful.”
“Break them how?” Rachel asked.
“I told you. I brought you a gift. Or rather, an exchange. It’s very easy for you.” He held up the card once more. “Your freedom. You can run out of this country and live like the swine that you are. I have no room for arrogant little monsters in my system and frankly I want you gone forever. Don’t you see? I put you all here.” He winked at Sebastian. “Do you think it’s just coincidence that your parents suddenly wanted to send you away? No, they were good to me, sending the rebellious twink with a heart. Do you think they didn’t watch you, that they didn’t know what kind of whore you are?”
Sebastian inhaled sharply, while Kurt clutched his hand tighter to keep him silent.
“Oh yes, we knew what you were looking for, someone to fall in love with. So you fucked around with every boy who glanced your way. You should thank me, because I gave you someone to fall for, someone sweet and stupid and just as freakish as you are. Don’t you all get it? The system works because I am the system. I can make anything happen.
“Don’t you remember what I said at your ridiculous competition? Music is a message and people who love music are prone to fight for their so called morals more than anyone else. I saw it first when those damn Warblers left and again when that slut Quinn tried to change her fate. From there it was easy to give you someone new to shake things up. I watched you all fall apart so easily.”
“These are our lives!” Rachel cried out. “Not some game for you!”
“Oh yes, I know it’s not a game!” He pointed a finger at her, before slapping Santana’s arm for reaching out to grab the key. “Trust me, no one respects the system more than I do! Especially not beasts like you who couldn’t appreciate how we saved civilization! You all should be on your knees thanking me for what my grandfather did!” He raised a hand, pointing violently at each of them. “So yes, this might not be a game, but the system isn’t for monsters like you. It’s for people like Brittany who understand the beauty of it. It’s for people like your dear friend Sugar, who is willing to wait for good things to come. And it’s for people like you two!” He grinned at Sam then Mercedes. “People who will trade a child to continue society for a happy marriage. You think you went in for DNA tests? Don’t be stupid. You were both given fertility boosters. There was almost no chance you wouldn’t get pregnant with what we gave you.”
“That’s sick,” Kurt hissed.
“Only because you don’t see the beauty and simplicity of it all. But no matter.” He waved his hand dismissively at them. “I’m willing to forgive it all. You can leave, escape with the rebels and never see this place again. You can do anything you want, if you’ll just give me one thing.”
Kurt didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want to work with him for any reason. But god did he want his freedom.
Finally Puck spoke up, giving Anderson what he wanted. “Just what could you possibly want from us?”
The senator smiled sweetly at him. “I want you to help me find someone. One of the rebels.”
“We don’t know any of them,” Kurt bluffed. It was almost true.
“Oh, but I’m sure you do. Or you will. Little bastard can’t stand not having everyone know who he is.”
Kurt’s voice shook as he asked, “Who is it?”
He laughed. “Don’t be stupid. I fed you morons that story so no one would question my authority. How many people would turn away if they knew my own son abandoned the system?”
Sebastian shook his head. “We don’t know your son.”
“You know him!” the senator bellowed. “You have to know him!”
Sebastian jumped back from the bars when the man rushed there, slapping his palm flat on them so hard that the sound echoed through the jail. “Where is my son?” he demanded.
“I’m right here.”
Kurt whipped his head towards the source of the voice at the entrance of the cells. Blain stood there, in a black oversized hoodie. One hand was clenched around a card key, while the other was stuffed in his pocket.
“Hello Dad,” he whispered.
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Sebastian realized that he should have known. He should have known that the senator would rather the people think his son was dead than have them know that the boy ran out on the system. He should have put it together when Blaine told them he helped people leave, how he was from the same area. Dalton was one of the best schools in Ohio; of course a senator’s son would be enrolled there.
Senator Anderson had spun around to face Blaine at the sound of his voice. Sebastian couldn’t see his face but he could see the angry clench of his hands, skin turning white where it was digging into the edges of the card key, along with the way his neck and back tightened with rage.
Blaine addressed his father again. “You said they could go if they gave you me. I’m here because of them, so you have to let them go.”
“No. Why would I do that, when I’ve got you all here now?” he snapped. “I could call the police here in two seconds and have you locked up forever.”
Blaine gave a dejected laugh. “Yeah, because you want them here. We both know you can’t afford to have them find me. You’d lose any credit you’ve gained, especially since you know you can’t shut me up. And faking a death is a crime, so if they lock me up, it’d be right next to you.” He shrugged. “Besides, you can’t call them, not with them all at the center trying to figure out just how the rebels broke in and torched the place. But that’s the thing. We didn’t do it.” He took a step forward, bringing his face into view. Sebastian saw how his eyes were surrounded with dark circles, and how his clothes were rumpled. Just where did he sleep while he was saving people from the system, especially in the middle of winter?
Blaine continued, “It’s awfully convenient that all the officers are busy right when you come here to ask criminals about your dead son.”
“It’s very convenient. So convenient that I did it myself. Is that what you want to hear? How I torched my own center to come see them? Well, why not? It’s my own place! I built that center, with my own money!”
“Your money comes from the people!” Blaine shot at him.
“It’s mine! Without me, the system would crumble! The whole nation in fact! Who do you think is paying half the Senate and Congress to keep shooting down bills to end it! It’s thanks to me that we still have it, that people can still feel comfort in knowing that they don’t have to choose.”
“It’s thanks to you that people are still trapped,” Blaine sighed. “I wasn’t going to stick around while you tried to turn me into you.”
“You ungrateful little bitch! You could have had everything. Money, power, the entire country at your fingertips! Sex too, everyone wants to bend over for the one in charge. I would have let you have whatever men you wanted as well. I would have given you him!” He waved his arm in Kurt’s direction, and Sebastian felt sickness pool in his stomach at the thought of Kurt handed off by that man like some consolation prize. “But no, you wanted love. You ruined yourself for nothing!”
“Love isn’t nothing! Love is everything worth anything in this world!” Blaine cried out. “You used to be able to see that! I know you used to feel it, when I saw you with Mom! You loved her!”
“Of course I did, you idiot. But only because she gave me you. You were supposed to be worth it all. You were what made our marriage happy. That’s what real love is, having children and making a family successful. That’s love and happiness. The love you’re thinking of is just sex and you are no better than these monsters if you think that it is right in any way. Family is all that matters in this world and after that comes power to protect that. And you’ve abandoned your family.” The Senator huffed at him. “Congratulations Blaine. You’ve abandoned your mother because you wanted to get laid. Your bother sobbed at your funeral because you couldn’t stop thinking with your dick.”
Blaine bit his lip, shaking his head. “That’s not true.” But his voice was soft and Sebastian could just barely see the glisten of tears in his eyes. He was cracking, Sebastian realized, falling to that child-like need to please him parents. Sebastian had felt it before, still felt it squeeze his heart when Anderson mentioned how his parents didn’t want it. He knew Kurt needed to have his father’s approval like he needed to breathe. Who didn’t have that instinct to make their parent’s proud? They were their first audience, the first ones to smile in praise and frown when a child missed a step. It was instinct to want to please the people who raised a person.
But parents were not always right, and thankfully Blaine was saved by a head popping around the doorway, making everyone jump. The young man had dark hair and Asian features twisted into worry. “B, the cops are coming back. We have to leave now.” The boy left and Blain turned back to face his father. He was blinking back tears rapidly, but his mouth was set with determination.
“I’ll never let you take them,” the Senator sneered. “And you’ll never get away from me.”
Blaine nodded sadly. “I know. But I was ready for you to say that.” He pulled his hand from behind his back, revealing a small handgun. It was black and sleek, and quivering just slightly in Blaine’s grip. Sebastian tightened his hold on Kurt as Blaine aimed it at his father’s heart, stepping forward for a better shot.
“Toss your key to the girls,” he ordered as he threw his card to the boys. Sam caught it and reached around to unlock the cell. When the man refused to obey, Sam spun to the girls’ cell and swiped it open. They crept along the walls past the Senator and Sebastian knew that it was only the tense hold Blaine had on the gun that was keeping Anderson from grabbing them.
Sebastian urged everyone out the door where they were ushered out of the building by several young men wearing black hoodies. They must have been the rest of the Warblers. He and Kurt were last, watching Blaine try to edge towards the door. Each step he took backwards, his father took two forward.
“We have to help him,” Kurt muttered anxiously. Sebastian nodded his agreement. He wasn’t about to let someone be caught like that, not even if he was going to steal Kurt from him.
“Go. I’ll help him.” Sebastian pushed Kurt through the door. One of the Warblers grabbed him and tugged him out of the jail.
Anderson spoke, glaring at Blaine. “You won’t shoot me. I told you before. You’re weak, nothing but a child afraid of power. That’s what you’re holding right there. Power, and a child like you doesn’t know what to do with it.”
Blaine’s hand wavered at the accusation and in that moment he was rushed. Anderson slammed him to the ground, a knee landing hand in Blaine’s stomach. Sebastian jumped forward, elbowing him in the face as he attacked from the side. He was desperate to get him off of Blaine before he could take the gun from him. Blood began to drip from his nose as Sebastian yanked his arms back from where they were clawing at Blaine’s neck.
Blaine had managed to hold onto the gun, but it was too close. If he shot from this range, he would surely kill him father. Desperate to not have Blaine reach that level, Sebastian doubled his efforts, heaving the man off of his son by wrapping his arms around his face and pulling back as hard as he could. He felt the blood from his nose seeping into his shirt and Sebastian was almost dizzy with disgust.
Blaine kicked him in the throat and scrambled up, leveling the gun at his father once again. Sebastian punched him once more before twisting and slamming his body to the side. He had just barely managed to jump back before Blaine lowered the gun a fraction and squeezed the trigger.
Sebastian swore and started to run, grabbing Blaine and ignoring the blood that was soaking through the Senator’s pant leg, just above the knee. Blaine was stiff with shock, stumbling through the jail.
“Come on!,” Sebastian shouted, slamming his hip into a desk as he pulled Blaine even harder. He heard sirens blare, drawing closer with every second. “Let’s go! The cops are coming!”
That seemed to spur Blaine on, sending them running through the doors. Outside, a charter bus was waiting. It was black and blue with the words ‘Columbus Tours’ painted in gold on the side. The door flung open for them and Kurt was there, pulling them on. All three of them stumbled down the aisle as the bus lurched into motion, just barely rounding the corner out of sight when the cops reached the station.
Kurt pushed Sebastian into a seat, following him after forcing Blaine to sit on the other side of the bus. The rest of the club, as well as the Warblers were scattered a little further back. Sebastian quickly scanned his friends before sighing in relief. Everyone was present.
Kurt was pulling at Sebastian, turning him this way and that as he checked him for injuries. Sebastian wanted to laugh at him for his motherly instinct, but it was too close to his own relief to stop his fussing. When Kurt swore and pulled his arm closer, Sebastian frowned and looked at him. “What?”
“There’s blood on your arm!”
Sebastian quickly shushed him, stripping the stained sweater and tossing it into an empty seat. “I’m fine baby. There was a fight.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Blaine flinch violently. Sebastian pushed Kurt a little closer to Blaine so he could reach over and lay a hand gently on his leg. Blaine didn’t react; he continued to sit hunched over and staring at the gun in his hands.
Kurt touched his shoulder carefully. “Are you ok?”
Blaine shook his head. “No.”
Sebastian pulled back. Kurt could comfort Blaine better than he ever could.
“I shot him.” Blaine took a shaky breath as a tear slipped down his face. “I shot my father.”
Kurt glanced back at Sebastian, as if asking for permission. When Sebastian nodded, Kurt crossed the aisle and wrapped his arms around Blaine. Sebastian looked away just as Blaine was curling into Kurt, dropping his head on his shoulder and crying silently. Kurt’s soft murmurs were the only sound on the bus as they crossed the line out of Ohio.
I'm so sorry this took so long to update! Thank you for reading!
They had been driving for just under four hours when the bus began to slow. Kurt jerked his head up from where it had been resting. Blaine had finally drifted off, curled into Kurt and with his face still tracked with tears. Kurt had tugged the gun out of his hands as soon as it happened, passing it off to the Asian boy they’d first seen. He had hoped that as they were on their way they were safe and wouldn’t have to have it anywhere near Blaine or especially Sebastian again. He couldn’t bear the thought of the one he loved getting hurt.
But as the bus slowed on gravel, Kurt’s heart picked up and he tightened his hold on Blaine’s shoulders. Blaine shifted and popped open his eyes.
“Relax. We should be fine.” Blaine rubbed his face and stood, glancing out the window and confirming with his friends before addressing the group. “Relax everyone. We just need to pick up someone we had to leave behind before we can really travel. She was supposed to meet you at the park, but when we heard you were taken we drove straight there without her.”
Kurt nodded along with the rest of the group.
“Holy hell! She brought all their stuff!” One of the boys laughed. “She must have been bored to drag it all out here.”
The bus pulled to a complete stop in the middle of the woods. They were on a service road, with the thick trees around them lit by the headlights. Judging by the time, Kurt assumed that they were near the National Park. The front door opened, letting the cheerful voice of the waiting girl greet everyone’s ears.
“Well you all took your time! Did you stop for a double feature on the way?”
Kurt’s lips parted in shock and just as he was about to climb out of his seat, he was shoved back by Rachel. She ran down the aisle and out of the bus. Kurt just barely made it to the window on Sebastian’s side so he could see his friend dive into the woman’s arms.
“Quinn!” Rachel shouted, her voice cracking at the end. “Where the hell have you been?”
Quinn’s response was a little quieter, muffled by Rachel’s shoulder. “I’ve been in Mexico. Blaine saved me just before the wedding.” She wrapped her arms rightly around Rachel, rubbing her back gently to soften the tears that were starting to come.
Blaine tapped Kurt on the shoulder. “Want to come get your stuff? It’s a long ride and you should decide what you want stored below or with you.”
When the bus was moving with everyone settled, Blaine moved to the front to address the group once more. He flipped on a light above him so they could see, his hands clenching the seats to keep balanced as he spoke.
“Here’s how this works. This bus is frequently watched. All youth tour buses are, but it’s the best cover we have for taking you all across the country. So we cannot proceed to Mexico as fast as we can. A bus full of young people speeding towards the border just screams escape. So we have to take our time. The first day is the only one where we can drive all day without people getting too curious. So for only today we will be doing just that, nothing but highways. But tonight and for the next four days we will have to go slower, stop at a few motels. We will have to visit a few places, so we look like actual tourists. We will be heading southwest, towards Arizona, across Texas and New Mexico.”
Puck called out, “Why not just leave through Texas?”
“Because that’s the exit point for the eastern part of the country and the officials know it. The west and north will leave through Canada and sometimes catch boats or planes to Japan or Australia. Arizona and New Mexico have thinly spread defense, mostly because of the desert, so we can leave easier through there. It’s especially good going through the wine country of southern Arizona. It’s sparsely populated and the cops are more focused on people leaving wine tastings than teenagers. As we go, we’ll be stopping at certain gas stations and motels.”
“Which ones?” Sam asked.
“Love’s truck stops have an alliance with rebels across the country. Truckers aren’t known for supporting the system and the employees are all sworn to protect and warn us. Also they’re big enough to get us in and out quickly.”
“Damn, who else is a rebel, and why the hell don’t we know about it?” Puck hissed.
Blaine smirked. “Well, it wouldn’t do us much good if all high school students knew who was out to overthrow the government, would it? As for others, the National Park Service is on our side, which is why we’ll be stopping at a few parks to keep up the tourist image.”
“And why they let you hijack Lincoln’s birthplace,” Santana quipped.
Blaine nodded. “Yeah, but we also have basically a blood oath to keep it in good condition. Days Inn is also on our side. They are crap hotels but that’s because they never make us or any other rebels pay and they’ll give any of us money if we really need it.”
“How many other rebels are there?” Kurt asked.
“Well, there are a bunch of people.” Blaine scratched the back of his head, thinking. “There’s a hospital in New Jersey with a doctor who will help you fake your death. He’s a bit of a jerk though. A couple guys drive around to find people. They go across the country. There’s a group of mostly teens in California. A lot more too, but I can’t think of them all off the top of my head. We communicate, but we don’t really get to know each other super well. It’s safer if we don’t know anything.” Blaine nodded at Sebastian. “Actually, there was a group of people in Paris looking out for you Sebastian. They’re mostly college students and I think you tried to sleep with one of them?”
Sebastian frowned and shrugged. “I tried to sleep with a lot of guys in Paris. You’re going to have to get a lot more specific.” He sent Kurt an apologetic look, but Kurt shook his head with a smile. Sebastian’s past hadn’t bothered him before so mentioning it now wasn’t going to add to his pain.
Blaine continued, “Blond, tall, blue eyes? He’s in college?”
Sebastian thought for a moment then grinned wickedly. “Yeah, I think I remember him.”
Blaine rolled his eyes. “Well, they were working to get you out of Paris for a while. They thought you would take the chance they gave you when you flew to the states.”
Gaping at him, Sebastian asked, “You mean that door was them? What a ridiculous plan. They should have talked to me about it.”
The offense Sebastian took didn’t have much reaction from Blaine. “Well, that’s your loss.”
As he glanced at Kurt, Sebastian muttered, “Not exactly.”
“Blaine,” Quinn called out. “Try not to get distracted.”
He jumped and shook his head, giving a small laugh. “Right, sorry. Well, I hope none of you mind geology because we’ll be stopping at several caves and other rock oriented National Parks. They are spread over a wide enough area that we can cover a lot of distance between them. But we can have a good cover as a science club or something.
“Once we cross the border you’ll be free. You can trade in the money on your marriage cards for a pretty good amount, enough to split and take care of yourselves for a while, if that’s what you want. If you don’t have one, the Mexican government will help you with a work or school program. It comes with housing and job training. Actually, housing will be provided for all of you if you want. It’s usually paid for by the local government as well as foreign backers.”
“It’s not a bad life doing that, but you can choose another way if you want,” Quinn added from the back where she was seated with Rachel and Santana. “You can work and earn a good life, free to do whatever you want. You just have to pay taxes.”
“And how do they feel about day care?” Puck sniped. He was sitting just in front of her, but he refused to even glance back as he spoke.
Quinn frowned at the back of his head. “Well, they let me start work a year late as long as I continued my studies. I work as a music teacher for American students. They have a day care for Beth there.”
He flicked his eyes back at her for a brief second. “She’s called Beth?” His voice was hesitant.
She nodded and reassured him, “Just like you wanted.”
Kurt jumped when he heard one of the Warblers groan, “God, baby drama. I don’t want to deal with this.” Puck flipped him off but settled back into his seat, satisfied for the moment.
Blaine spoke again. “If you have any more questions feel free to ask. But for now I think it would be best for everyone to get some sleep. There’s a bathroom on the side if you really need it and we will stop for food in about two hours. Ok?”
As everyone nodded, Kurt felt his eyes start to drop at the first mention of sleep.
On the inside of their seat, Sebastian was sliding his jacket off to bunch it against the window. He shivered as he touched the glass. Kurt couldn’t help but shift over, touching his knee for permission.
Sebastian cracked his eyes open, raising his eyebrows questioningly.
Kurt shrugged. “It’s cold,” he muttered.
Laughing shortly, Sebastian reached out and tugged Kurt closer to him.
As he settled in Sebastian’s arms, Kurt finally felt something unclench inside him. They were on their way, no sign of police following them. There was nothing to live up to anymore, no nameless lawmakers to control his life and body. The lack of that fear was an overwhelming sensation. He was still acutely terrified of getting caught on the way. But that old fear of spending his entire life at the mercy of people who didn’t see him for his worth was missing. It felt like someone had cut off a limb for how empty he felt without it. He supposed the whole would soon fill with how much he missed his father and the rest of his family and friends.
There was something about Kurt that made his life incomplete without some kind of sadness. He knew that some people lived without it, mostly content with being content, but Kurt knew that would never be him. His fear had once been him inspiration to keep fighting for a better life and now his missing family would fuel his desire to live bigger and better each day, just to make them proud. Kurt wouldn’t live without his small bit of sadness; without it he would be nothing.
As he started to drift to sleep, he heard someone moving to the back of the bus, hissing, “Quinn.” It was Blaine, his sleepy brain provided.
H heard the girl reply quietly, “What is it?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know we took a long time.”
“Yeah, you did.” She sounded angry.
“I’m sorry. But did you see anything funny? No one followed you to the meeting point?”
“No, the cops all left when they did. They poked around the old house a bit. But no one went into the visitor’s center.”
“That’s good. We should be safe.”
“Seriously though, what happened on your side?”
“We heard on the cop radio that they were arrested. So we had to skip you and head straight for the jail. We passed the center first just in time to see it go up in flames.”
“Oh my God,” she muttered.
“And we saw the oddest thing. A man ran from the back and kneeled in the grass. It caught fire too and we saw a big W burning on the lawn.”
“They framed us for it. As the man ran, we saw that it my- that it was the senator. He was heading back to the jail, so we followed him there on the back roads. All the cops were heading down the main roads.”
“Well, I don’t know what he said at the jail, but there was no one there. Not a single cop. That was weird, so I asked the guys to stay behind in the lobby while I checked out the back. I got there just after he did and listened to him telling them about the fire and about how he was controlling the system.”
“What do you mean controlling?”
“I mean there hasn’t been as actual system in Lima for ages. He’s been running it full time so he could make people mad enough to rebel.”
“And eventually he would get to you.”
“Exactly. So I stepped in and got everyone out while I was holding him off.” He paused. “He wasn’t going to let me go, but Sebastian stayed back and fought with me. I had to- I had to shoot him in the knee but we got away.”
“Jeez Blaine. Ok, I forgive you for being late.”
He gave a short laugh. “Thanks.”
“I just wish there had been an officer there to hear him confess. It won’t do any good if no one but us knows.”
“Well, an officer would have arrested us too. But I left something better. Do you remember my recorder?”
Quinn gasped. “You left it?”
“On the chief’s desk, recording as much as possible.”
“Well, I guess I shouldn’t have laughed when you spent all that money on it.”
“Yeah, but it’s gone now. It’s still a waste of money.”
“Not if someone finds it. Not if the right people find it.”
“Well, it’s out of our hands now. There’s nothing we can do but keep doing our best to help people. Hopefully now that he knows I’m in the group he won’t send the cops after us. He wants to keep me a secret and if they catch us I’ll expose him.”
“Good. But Blaine, you should get some sleep. You’re just as tired as they are, I’m sure.”
“Well, she sure looks tired.” There was a ring of amusement in his voice.
“Well, Rachel was always a cuddly person.”
“And you still love her.”
“But Santana might love her too. It’s not my choice who Rachel loves, if she loves anyone at all.”
“Well, sleep on it. I think they’ll all have to figure out how they feel about each other without the pressure of marriage.”
“A lot of them in love?”
“Go to sleep. You need it.”
Kurt heard Blaine moving back to the front of the bus. Just as the sun rose over the edge of the world, silence fell on the bus and he drifted into sleep.
Thank you for reading and I'm sorry this chapter was so information heavy.
We are close to the end, and I'm a little sad about it!
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The drive from Kentucky was one of the longest trips Sebastian had ever experienced, except for the trip from France to the States. Even then, he had been able to sleep for most of the journey. After dozing for the first seven hours, he had woken just in time to stop for lunch at a gas station.
Love’s was just as promised, vast and filled with 16 wheeler trucks. According to Wes, who was driving at the time, they didn’t have to hide there. Sebastian still felt a spark of fear that sent his blood pumping, making his eyes dark suspiciously around the convenience store. He barely caught sight of the cashiers switching off the cameras and the subtle nods from the truckers piling roast beef onto plastic plates in the café. He was grateful for the protection the station offered, especially since they were obviously refugees. It if weren’t for that, they would have been caught ages ago. As it was, each stop sent his heart pounding, keeping him from sleeping for the rest of the day.
He and Kurt had tried to watch one of his movies on the laptop, but as soon as it started the rest of the bored club members pushed in close. Sebastian had found himself crouched into the seat with Puck’s elbows digging into his shoulders. It was hardly ideal.
So when Wes announced that they were stopping for the night, Sebastian joined the collected sigh of relief. It was night, but the city lights let them see the wide open streets and a few fake western fronts as they drove through the downtown.
“Where are we?” he called out.
Blaine answered from across the aisle. “Amarillo, Texas.”
Quinn piped up. “They have a restaurant called the Big Texan that has a 72 ounce steak for almost a hundred bucks. You get it free if you can finish the whole meal.”
“I found my dinner,” Puck muttered.
“We don’t have time to go,” Blaine apologized. “We only have time to sleep and leave early in the morning. Plus, it’s most likely closed by now.”
“That is the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Next to him, Kurt rose up from the seat, arching his back and stretching widely. He slumped down and frowned at Sebastian. “I loved this bus when I saw it, but now I just want to burn it.”
Sebastian grinned but didn’t stretch himself as the bus started to crawl to a stop. He had finally found a comfortable position and he wasn’t going to move until he had to. Instead, he nudged his foot against Kurt’s. “It’s not so bad. We got to see America.”
“The highways of Kentucky are hardly going to make Vogue’s travel destinations list.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Sebastian groaned as he was finally forced from his seat as the bus finally stopped in front of a dingy motel. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen them do rustic living like that. Some kind of getting away from it all kind of deal.”
Kurt grinned as he stood as well. “There’s getting away from it all and then there’s going beyond civilization. We were beyond civilization and that’s coming from someone who grew up in Lima.”
Sebastian’s agreement was cut off as one of the boys grabbed Kurt’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t mention where we’re from,” the boy cautioned lowly. Sebastian nodded along with Kurt, pushing down the fear that welled up in him again as they climbed off the bus.
The Days Inn certainly looked like it had seen better times. It was three stories tall with the room entrances open to the night air. Painted an ugly beige color that matched the dirt, it was absolutely ancient looking. But even then it was a welcoming sight. The idea of a bed, even if they had to shower twice in the morning, made all of them relax slightly.
Wes and Blaine came jogging out of the office with the cardkeys clutched in their hands. Wes addressed the group. “Ok everyone, we’ve got eight rooms, which means we have three with three people and 5 with two people.”
“It’s entirely up to you who you room with, but keep in mind that the ones with two people only have one bed,” Blaine added. “We’ve got some more snack for dinner tonight, I know I’m sorry. But they’ve got hot continental breakfast tomorrow morning and we’ll have real food tomorrow.. We’re going to have lunch at Carlsbad and dinner at the cottages in Santa Fe.”
Kurt shrugged his backpack higher on his shoulders, as everyone rushed to get keys. Sebastian caught his eye and moved to grab and single room key. Just as he turned back to tell Kurt, he heard him speak.
“Blaine, can I room with you tonight? I’m curious about a few things.”
Sebastian’s heart froze. This was it, the moment when he lost Kurt forever. Blaine seemed taken back by the request.
“Umm, I usually room with Wes and Thad,” he muttered.
”But I really want to know how I’ll be able to get a hold of my Dad, if it’s even possible.”
Sebastian wondered if this was some kind of trick on Kurt’s part, a desperate plan to stay away from Sebastian. And who would blame him? This was the first chance in ages he had to sleep on his own, the time when he could finally be free. Why wouldn’t he take the chance?
And who could blame Blaine for giving in? Kurt had a sweetly earnest look on his face, lit only by the dingy lights in the parking lot. Even though, he was beautiful. How could Blaine refuse him?
“Um, yeah, I guess that’s fine?” Blaine called Thad over to arrange it and before Sebastian could say a word, Kurt had disappeared with the two boys.
Sebastian stood in the emptying parking lot with a key in his hand and a bag slung over his shoulders. He felt the weight of who he was suffocating him. His skin felt like paper against the emptiness that surrounded him. Was this how it felt to finally be abandoned? He hadn’t felt it when his parents had shipped him off. He bit his lip, thinking back to what he had left behind. That was the issue wasn’t it? He kept abandoning things, his family, his country and his school. Now he was the one left behind, finally abandoned for not being good enough? Was he supposed to unpack and shower and wake and eat and move when he knew that nothing in the world was worth anything to him? This was the cost of freedom. The world gave you everything you could ever want, but the moment you asked to live free and without fear, you lost everything you loved. Was it all supposed to be worth it? He had thought so; he had thought it would be worth it as long as Kurt was happy. But now that was almost too much for him. He wanted to trap Kurt, take him back to Lima as long as he stayed in Sebastian’s arms.
But he couldn’t do that. He would move on and be just fine, even without him. Being free was an aching emptiness, but he would do it for Kurt.
A hand dropped on his shoulder, startling him.
“Hey,” Santana started. “Looks like you’re my roomie.”
Sebastian frowned, pushing down the urge to cry. “Where’s Rachel?”
Santana shrugged, turning away to hide her face. “She disappeared with Quinn and Puck. Looks like they have a lot of catching up to do.”
Sebastian grabbed her hand and walked her to the room. She didn’t shake him off until they were there, dropping their bags on the floor. They took turns showering in silence, washing their underwear in the sink and hanging them to dry over the edge of the tub. Sebastian kicked on the heater just before climbing into bed. He instantly felt grimy again and vowed to take another shower in the morning.
Next to him, Santana spread a red shirt over her pillow, one Sebastian was sure he’d seen before. “Is that Rachel’s?”
Santana froze before answering tightly. “I guess our clothes got mixed up. We were packing in a hurry.” She swallowed. “I just don’t want to catch anything here, you know.”
“Yeah,” Sebastian muttered, suddenly wishing that he had something of Kurt’s to hold onto. All he had was his ring, which he clenched his hand to reassure himself was still there.
They were quiet for a few minutes and Sebastian could have sworn Santana had fallen asleep before she spoke again. Her voice was soft and watery. “So this is where it all changes? In some dusty cowboy town with nothing going for it but a steak?”
Sebastian laughed at that, low and desperate. “Yeah, I guess so. I can’t tell if this is fitting or the worst cliché possible.”
“Oh, definitely the cliché one.”
They quieted for a second before Sebastian spoke again. “It is a cliché, isn’t it? The handsome knight coming to rescue someone from the evil husband.”
“Blaine does look a lot like a prince,” Santana agreed. “But it’s no more of a cliché than the lover escaping then returning to save the princess.” Her voice cracked a little.
“I thought you loved Brittany.”
“I do. I just gave up on that when I married Rachel. There are some times when you can’t change Brittany’s mind and this was one of them. I wasn’t deluded enough to think she would actually come with us. It just hurt to hear her say it out loud.”
“So you love Rachel?” Sebastian wasn’t sure where this was coming from. He and Santana hadn’t been very close. But he could understand her. They were very similar in spirit.
“I don’t know. I just know I liked having her around. We had a good friendship and frankly awesome sex.”
“Didn’t need to know that.”
“But it just sucks not to be picked again. And it’s not Rachel’s fault or Brittany’s either. They just had other things that were more important than me.” She buried into the pillow, breathing deeply. “Everything is more important than me. People will always choose someone or something else over me.” She paused.
“I could have loved her,” she whispered.
Sebastian had no words in his hollow heart. Instead he slid across the bed and tucked himself around her. She was soft and small, nothing like Kurt. But they were both tough as nails on the outside and a bruised heart on the inside. As Sebastian got closer to Santana, he couldn’t help but want to protect her the same way he would Kurt.
She relaxed against him, her face still pressed into Rachel’s sweater. But she wasn't sleeping and Sebastian was sure she wouldn’t be for a long time. It was impossible for him as well, with the strange scents and the unfamiliar bed.
He asked, “Can you teach me some Spanish?”
Santana grinned and started listing off dirty words and swears, bringing a smile to Sebastian’s face as the night slid on.
I'm sorry this chapter is so short and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update! I actually cut this chapter shorter to actually update it tonight. You will get Kurt's point of view on this in the next chapter, I promise. Thank you so much for reading and thank you so much for sticking with me for such a long break! I love you all!
special thanks to Kym for being the person to finally push me over the edge. Thanks as well to every one else who has left me awesome kudos and comments. More notes at the bottom.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Blaine and Wes had such a rhythm to travel that Kurt was shocked. They worked together, spreading a sheet over both of the beds and setting out clothes for the morning. Wes called the front desk to set up wake up calls for all of the rooms, while Blaine marked off their progress on the map and checked the next day’s schedule. Kurt thought back to his former classmates, trying to picture them as rational and responsible as all of the Warblers were. It was a laughable concept really, something Kurt was sure only came from removing oneself from the ideas of love. If only he could do the same.
Kurt tried to help where he could but eventually he ended up on his bed, dressed in pajamas and watching the local news on a low volume. Blaine and Wes were dressed for bed as well, perusing a list.
The silence was stifling him. “So what are you looking at?”
Blaine jumped, just barely. “You know, Thad usually konks out as soon as we get to the room. I guess I’m just used to it being me and Wes taking care of this.” He rose and brought the page to Kurt. “It’s a list of hotels in southern Arizona. The Days’ Inn for our last night is closed for renovations, so we have to find a new place to stay for that night. None of them are openly against the system, so we’ll have to look at the history of each one and check in with some of the people back home about the managers, see if we can hide there.”
Kurt bit his lip. “Wouldn’t it be best to just drive through the night?”
Wes laughed at that. “No, we need the drunken wine aficionados of Sonoita to draw the cops away from us. We have to wait for day, so we go through that area about two in the afternoon.”
“Oh.” Kurt dropped his head, feeling stupid.
Blaine shifted over so he could put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. This has happened before. Not with such a big group, but if worse comes to worse we’ll stay in a historical town at the oldest hotel and be on a school trip again.” He glanced at Kurt, gaging his mood. “You’d have to share a room with Sebastian again.”
Kurt’s head jerked back from Blaine, as he wished that he hadn’t picked up on that detail. “That doesn’t matter,” he murmured, praying that it would be dropped.
Blaine stayed silent, but Wes spoke up. “Kurt you asked us to change rooms because of this already. I think we deserve to know the reason why. We can take a guess because we’ve seen a lot of this already, but if we do have to stay at a different hotel we need to know that it’s not going to blow our cover. Your marriage troubles could land us all back in prison. Again when it comes to your little club. We’re not stupid; you don’t actually have questions about your dad, do you?”
Kurt shook his head. He would find out all of that later. Getting away from Sebastian had been his only goal.
“Then what is it?”
The turn in conversation made Kurt’s throat ache with sadness. He knew exactly why he had run from Sebastian. He had already said his good byes the night before they left. Resting with his on the bus had been one thing, surrounded by people, but sleeping in the same bed as Sebastian would be too much to handle. He knew that if he climbed into bed with Sebastian he would give in and beg his husband to stay with him. He wouldn’t be able to hold back as he demanded that Sebastian gave up the freedom he was longing for. He refused to be that weak and trap the man he loved like that.
“I just needed to be away from him for a while,” Kurt answered.
“Are you sure-” Wes started.
“Wes!” Blaine snapped. “Give it a rest. Kurt,” he continued softly, “if you really want, I’ll share with you as much as I can for the rest of the trip. But only if that’s what you really want. Are you sure you don’t want to room with him or any of your other friends?”
Kurt shook his head. He couldn’t separate his friends. Puck and Rachel wouldn’t want to leave Quinn, while Santana would most likely join them; she would never leave Rachel. Separating Mercedes and Sam would be too cruel. He would have to stay with Blaine. “My friends are all matched up and Sebastian made it pretty clear during our marriage that he wanted nothing more than his right to choose.”
Blaine didn’t say anything more; he just nodded and rose to collect the maps and papers into a folder. Wes sighed and muttered a quiet good night as he flicked off the lights on their side of the room and the television.
Kurt took a slow breath to collect himself before he curled up under the covers. They smelled wrong, like bleach and other people, nothing like the lavender sheets Sebastian had initially glared at. As he turned to flick off his bedside light, he caught sight of his duffle bag.
Sebastian would most likely want it back, but Kurt couldn’t stop the wave of weakness that overwhelmed him. He climbed out of bed and gently pulled the knitted afghan from its depths, sending a small apology to Sebastian’s grandmother for using it when he obviously wasn’t Sebastian’s love. He would use it for just one night and then give it back to Sebastian in the morning.
Kurt wrapped the blanket around his body and sucked in a deep breath. It still smelled like their bed, like the two of them wrapped up in the night. It lulled Kurt to sleep, kept him from getting lost on the wide empty bed.
Sorry for several things:
1. I've been missing. Actually, I've been dancing in the 60th anniversary of a massive dance festival. The practice for that plus my regular dance class as well as working overtime every day really sapped me for time and will to do anything but collapse and drink wine until I feel like a real person again.
2. The past two chapters have been super short. To be honest, they were supposed to be one bigger chapter, but I really was tired when I posted the last one.
In regards to both: I will be updating as soon as I can (hopefully tomorrow or even sometime tonight if I'm feeling really ambitious.) I want to write as much as possible before September because I'm moving back to the States then and it's going to take a lot of time for me to pack and mail everything.
Again, I'm sorry for the super long annoying and stupid wait! As always, thank you for reading and let me know what you think!
Carlsbad was only four hours from Amarillo, heading south towards the border. Sebastian, already exhausted from his sleepless night before, was close to begging the Warblers to just cross into Mexico. But when they were stopped and searched at the New Mexico border he knew they couldn’t risk it.
Breakfast had been awkward, as he and Santana had come down from their room to find Kurt sitting in the middle of the Warblers chatting and laughing with them all. What had made it worse was the casual hand Blaine had kept laying on Kurt’s shoulder, easy and close. It had taken Sebastian almost a month to get that close to Kurt and Blaine was there in only one night. Sebastian had found himself imagining if they had been matched up, despite Blaine’s obvious battle against it. They would have had a romantic wedding, with flowers and music and a happy smile on Kurt’s face instead of misery and disgust. They would have fallen in bed easily, passionate and sweet. Sebastian had almost burned himself on his coffee as he continued to picture the two of them together. He hadn’t been able to eat breakfast.
He had shared his coffee with Santana. She had spent most of breakfast stabbing angrily at her eggs, ignoring how Rachel was smiling at Quinn and making excuses to touch her.
Just before they arrived at the caves, Wes stood to address the group.
“We’ll spend about an hour here, look at the gift shop for a while, eat lunch and go. No one should notice us much and make sure you don’t bring too much attention to yourself. If anyone talks to you, talk about the geology club.”
“Can we actually go into the caves?” Puck asked from where he was browsing pictures on Quinn’s phone.
Wes shook his head. “It’s too long down there. They only have tours and those take about three hours.”
Puck nodded and went back to the phone, obviously not too upset.
Wes continued, “So we’ll meet at the bus at 1pm. That’s long enough because we have about 4 hours to drive to Sante Fe.”
Sebastian sighed and let his attention drift to the dry land beyond the window. His lack of sleep made things blurry and dull. The lengthy bus ride didn’t bother him so long as he could sit and do nothing. An ache was slowly creeping up his body, but it didn’t matter for now. In front of him, he could hear Kurt and Blaine chattering about what the caves looked like from the inside, the glittering rocks and the endless blackness when the lights were dropped. He felt himself drifting off.
He jerked awake as a cool hand brushed his forehead.
“Sebastian, you’re really warm. Are you feeling alright?” Kurt’s voice was close to his ear and for a moment Sebastian could breathe, his body relaxing.
“Is he alright?” Blaine asked above him and the moment was broken.
“I’m fine,” Sebastian snapped, sitting up sharply and subtly pushing Kurt’s hand away. “The bus makes me hot and sleepy.”
Kurt tugged his arm. “You’re sitting in the sun. Move over here.”
“I’m fine!” he shouted, yanking his arm out of Kurt’s grasp. Sebastian kept his eyes down so he couldn’t see Kurt’s face, most likely sharp with anger for making a scene in front of his new best friend. But it was more than he wanted to deal with. He would never sleep at night if he didn’t cut himself off now. Kurt had obviously wanted to separate himself from Sebastian and it was time for him to do the same.
Kurt shifted beside him, reaching across Sebastian to jerk the curtain closed. “Get some rest.”
Sebastian was wide awake now, the world sharp and hot even behind the curtain.
“That woman will not stop staring at us,” Santana muttered into Sebastian’s ear as he turned over polished rocks in his hands.
They had eaten lunch 20 minutes earlier, eight dollar hot dog meals and a salad that Rachel kept finding bits of bacon in. Now the whole group was spread out in the gift shop, looking at the collection of spicy novelty foods, gemstone necklaces and a thousand postcards and key chains. Sebastian was tempted to buy one, just so he could say he’d been there. Mercedes was ringing up an onesie, while Puck gagged on the habaneros after burn of half the peanut samples. Sebastian was trying to ignore the running commentary Blaine was giving Kurt as he showed him the postcards of the caves.
At Santana’s insistence, Sebastian slowly turned to find the woman. “I don’t see her.”
Peeking back, Santana sighed. “Well, she was watching me for about fifteen minutes. She even followed me into the bathroom and complimented me on my ring.”
Sebastian shrugged. “It is nice and if you don’t want people to notice, don’t wear it.”
“You wear yours still.”
“I’m still married.” He didn’t mention how he would probably wear it for the rest of his life.
“Excuse me dears.” He jumped as a woman tapped him on the shoulders, holding a stack of tickets. She was tiny and hunched over slightly, so Sebastian had a hard time seeing her face past her wide sun hat. “I’ve been watching you all for a while and it just seems like you have terrible teachers, leaving you all alone here, not even seeing the caves.”
“Our teachers are sick and there was a problem with the tickets.” The excuse Wes gave them rolled off Santana’s tongue easily.
“Well dears, I took care of that. I got your tickets for you. There’s no reason to come out here if you don’t get to see the caves.” She pushed the tickets into Sebastian’s hands and closed them.
Sebastian swallowed, panic building up in him. They were told above all not to bring attention to the group and now he could see a tour group looking at them expectantly. “Thanks,” he murmured, trying to get Wes over to them as quickly as possible.
She smiled brightly at them. “You have a lovely time dears. I used to be a teacher myself and I just hate to see a good learning experience gone to waste.” She started to move away, but glance back. “You two are a lovely couple. Isn’t it wonderful when the system makes such perfect couples?”
“It is,” Santana managed, as if she were swallowing lemons.
Sebastian had to get out of there. “Thanks. We’ll pass these along and head down.” He grabbed Santana’s hand and brought her over to Wes. As he explained the situation, he was desperate for a quick solution.
Wes shook his head. “We can’t leave. The group is waiting for us now. It’ll cause too much attention if we leave now that we have tickets. We have to take the tour.” He gathered everyone and soon Sebastian found himself crowded into an elevator and heading down. Kurt shifted until he was next to him, looking at him with expectant eyes. Sebastian leaned into him and explained everything, his voice quiet against Kurt’s ear.
Kurt nodded and sighed once he was finished. “I guess we’ll get to Sante Fe late,” he muttered. “I hate how long this feels. I don’t like prolonging it; we don’t even know what happened at home.”
Sebastian nodded, his throat tight. “It would be better if we could get out of here, end this waiting game.” Of course Kurt wanted to get out. Blaine wasn’t wearing a ring, so Kurt couldn’t get close to him during the day. And they had shared a room with Wes the night before, so they hadn’t been fully alone then. Sebastian was once again filled with the thought of the two of them together, panting sweet nothings into each other’s mouth. It was out of spite that he bit out his next words. “She thought Santana and I were married. That we made a good couple. I think I look good with someone with dark hair, don’t you think?”
Kurt stiffened beside him. “Good thing we’re going to Mexico then.”
“Yeah, nice skin too.”
Kurt turned away from Sebastian with a noncommittal shrug, but he knew Kurt was hurt. It would bother him more if it didn’t himself so damn much.
The tour was long, starting in a massive room with a great white pillar in the middle of it. Sebastian tried to keep interested, but the low lights in the caverns and the blissful cool temperatures were lulling him back into exhaustion. Kurt stayed behind him the whole way, silent and angry. Sebastian imagined that Kurt wanted to push him down te bottomless pit or trap him with the bats. It would be better than the silence at least.
The guide brought them to a large room off the side of the Great Room, where they had entered. “Alright everyone, this is the King’s Chamber, named for the formation behind me. What does it look like?”
“A castle,” Rachel supplied, obviously enjoying the tour.
“Yes exactly.” The guide replied. “Now this room has a bit of interesting history to it. The man who discovered the caves eventually came to hate this room. The lamps back then were faulty at best and had a time limit. Well, during his exploration, his lamp went out, leaving him in total darkness for over 3 hours.”
“Damn,” Mercedes muttered.
“Now total darkness isn’t just what you think of when you close your eyes. Even then some light filters through. This kind of darkness is absolute and many times explorers would go insane and be disoriented, never to be found again.”
Sebastian shivered at this, suddenly wide awake. On his bad days, he couldn’t deal with the darkness of a bedroom at night without someone there; trapped in a cave with no hope sounded like a nightmare.
“Now we are going to give you a taste of what that was like. I advise you all to stay exactly where you are.”
“What?” Sebastian exhaled sharply, barely able to take a breath before the lights dropped. He gasped deeply and blinked. His head whipped around, trying to find a source of light anywhere. But there was nothing, as if the entire world had shut off. His breathing quickened and his heart rate shot up. He found himself panting, loudly amid the murmurs of wonder by the people around him. He knew why spelunkers went mad; it was the thought that the entire world had been destroyed and all that was left was a sea of nothing. His head grew lighter and Sebastian was sure he was going to pass out.
A hand grabbed his, familiar and soft, while its body pressed close from behind. “I’m here Sebastian. I’m here; just relax.”
Sebastian sank into him, matching his breathing with Kurt’s and grasping his hand tightly. The lights slowly came up as Kurt continued to whisper platitudes into Sebastian’s ear. He turned and took a deep breath, smelling Kurt under the harsh hotel conditioner he had used. Kurt’s hand came up to brush at his cheeks. There were tears there; Sebastian hadn’t even realized he was crying.
The guide’s voice broke though. “So how was that? Anyone want to see it again?”
“No we do not,” Kurt answered harshly, his eyes never leaving Sebastian’s face. “Let’s just keep going.”
The guide was shocked, fumbling a little with her speech, but soon they were moving forward, leaving the King’s Chamber behind. Sebastian moved forward automatically, not noticing much except that his hand didn’t leave Kurt’s for the rest of the tour.
So I've been tasked with another big story, and I felt like I couldn't start something without finishing this. And if I can work full time and get my masters and do classroom observations then damnit I can do this too.