It took Kurt at least half as long as he expected to pack, finishing in only 20 minutes after they arrived home late into the night. He had been absently planning what to bring for the entire ride home, a desperate need to distract himself from the thought of losing Sebastian. In only a few days, he would be alone again, no matter how much Sebastian promised he wouldn’t leave.
Kurt knew that he wasn’t even angry at the situation. He should be, for all that he had been through, but in the end he was just sinking into the hole that Sebastian’s absence would leave behind. It was a ridiculous thought that made it all worse, the nagging voice in the back of his head that told Kurt about how much Sebastian loved him and would never willingly leave, marriage or not. But the words were quickly washed away by the wistful look Sebastian had worn when he spoke of his grandmother. It was a look that told Kurt Sebastian deserved better than some half romance forced on them both by a government that had zero care for their happiness. Sebastian deserved someone who chose to sit with him, just to feel the warmth of his closeness, someone who woke him up with a smile just because he was happy to know that Sebastian was there. He deserved someone who loved him enough to give himself to Sebastian for their first time, not out of requirement but out of love. Sebastian deserved so much more than what the state had taken from him, so Kurt was going to be damned if he stopped him from seizing it.
It was the thought of Sebastian giving it to the person he loved that had Kurt folding the knitted afghan and stuffing it into the duffle bag they were sharing. They would have to sacrifice a few clothes for it, but Kurt reasoned that it would be worth it. Most of his clothes were meant for the colder Midwest temperatures, leaving him with few options for the heat of Mexico. Kurt found himself setting aside jeans, simple boots, a tee shirt and a sweater fir the travel days, but filling the rest of the bag with only a few pants, one extra sweater and a couple shirts. It was killing him to think of all the amazing clothes he was leaving behind, but other than a few accessories and a bottle of his favorite lotion all his belongings would be waiting in an empty apartment for the police to seize.
Sebastian brought over his own bag, just his backpack stuffed with clothes and a few toiletries. Kurt reached out his hand for it and Sebastian rolled his eyes.
“Really? I am capable of packing my own clothes.” But he smiled and handed over the bag.
“I know, but I’m not too sure about your practicalities. I could only expect you to bring a dozen socks and a few ties.”
“Ties can be useful for travel. Useful for anything worth doing actually.”
Kurt grinned when his hand brushed plastic in the bag, Sebastian’s laptop protected by the fabric around it. “This is going to be hell to carry.”
“I don’t care, Our movies are on there.”
Kurt’s throat tightened, remembering the nights when he and Sebastian would curl up and watch them together. But that was over now. “Well, you’ll get to watch them as much as you want, as long as you deal with carrying it.”
Sebastian sighed and slumped to the ground, resting back against their tiny fridge. “Well, this isn’t exactly a sleepover. This is the rest of our lives, starting over with almost nothing. I’d like to have something from this place.”
Kurt nodded as he set the bags aside, ready for their departure the next day. All they had to do now was wait and talk to their friends in the morning. “I know. I feel terrible for not telling anyone. I don’t even have time to tell my dad.” A roll of regret washed over him, yet another he was trying not to feel, the thought of his father finding out that Kurt would never be able to come home. He had supported Kurt as much as possible through their musical rebellion, and had even told Kurt how much he liked Sebastian when he wasn’t making bad jokes in front of the family. But Kurt just couldn’t risk getting him in trouble by telling him where he was going. He knew his dad would be pissed for Kurt trying to protect him but Kurt preferred an angry father to one thrown into jail.
Sebastian nudged him with his foot. “I don’t think that’ll be a god idea anyway. Look how much trouble we got in and we’re only friends with Mike and Tina. Your dad would try and help and then he’ll get into even more trouble.”
“I’m worried about him even as it is. What if they punish him for us?”
Sebastian crawled forward until his head was resting on Kurt’s knee, forcing their eyes to meet. “Relax baby, he’ll be fine. Your dad’s strong and pretty smart. He can do this. You just need to take care of yourself so that he doesn’t have to worry about you. He’ll be fine.”
Kurt smiled at him, bringing a hand up to thread his fingers through Sebastian’s hair. “Thank you,” he breathed before letting his lips twist up into a smirk. “And God, I just realized you haven’t stopped calling me that.”
Grinning up at him, Sebastian teased, “I told you. When it stops bothering you, until then you’re going to be my baby.”
Kurt’s grin tightened, realizing that this was one of those things he would have to give up, their playful names and shared history. His mind drifted back to the first time Sebastian had called him that, with Kurt crowded into him and fearing the hormone device injection. The nickname had been full of derision then, mocking his fears, but Sebastian’s arms had been warm and reassuring, even then. Kurt spoke with a thick voice, not meeting his eyes but he couldn’t take his hand away from Sebastian’s hair. “Well, it doesn’t bug me now, so you’ll have to find someone else to torment.”
Kurt felt Sebastian swallow below him. “Well, I guess we can both do that now. We can find other people.”
Kurt took a slow breath to steady himself. “Yeah, we can choose whoever we want when we get there. It feels strange.”
“You could choose that Blaine guy. He seems nice.”
Kurt frowned, wondering where this had come from. Blaine had been sweet and beautiful. IT was the strangest thing to think of the smiles and compliments the other boy had given him. Was that how interested people interacted when there was no expectation in life, sweet words and actions to draw someone to you, instead of comparing statistics on all your classmates to see who you could afford to fall for? He could see the appeal and could almost imagine what it could be like if he were to response to Blaine’s compliments. He could picture kissing him, tucking his arms around the short boy’s neck and feeling those delicate fingers at his hips. But it was a fleeting thought, killed by the feel of the stunning boy under his hands. Kurt knew it was entirely possible for him to love Blaine, and they might be wonderful together. But he had no heart to give, not after it had been lost to Sebastian’s crooked smiles and lithe body hiding a shockingly gentle heart. It would take Kurt years to build a new heart once Sebastian had left with his old one.
“Blaine was nice,” he responded simply, not wanting to let on how disappointed he was. But his curiosity was killing him. “What do you think about this, our separating?”
Sebastian was quiet for a moment. “I think it would be good for you to have a choice in who you love.”
“You too,” Kurt quickly added. “Though you should still change your hair if you want anyone halfway decent looking.” Jokes were safe, nothing that could really hurt them.
“I’m serious Kurt.” Sebastian sat up and took Kurt’s hands in his own. “You can have anyone you want. You can choose anyone in the world to love.”
Kurt had to drop his eyes to hide from Sebastian’s. How he could always convey so much emotion in his voice and eyes had always left Kurt breathless. “I’ve already chosen, I think,” he whispered, ashamed to come right out and say that he loved Sebastian only to trap him in something he didn’t want.
“I see,” Sebastian responded, his voice a little tight and cold. He sighed and glanced around the room. “This is our last night here. It might have been Government Issue, but it’s still our home for one more night as least. How do you want to spend it?”
Kurt shrugged. “What do you have in mind? We’ll have to sleep soon.” It was a relief that Sebastian wasn’t holding his confession against him.
Sebastian chuckled through a small smirk. “We could spend our last night like we spent the first. Or we could-”
“No,” Kurt cut him off, shocked by how much he wanted a night of intimacy with the husband he was swiftly losing.
Sebastian cupped his cheek. “Are you sure about that? We don’t have to?”
“I’m sure as long as you want it,” Kurt muttered boldly.
“Don’t be silly Kurt. I always want you.” Sebastian leaned in and kissed Kurt deeply. Kurt relished the feel of their lips meeting and soon the desperation took over. He pushed up from the floor and moved on top of Sebastian, still kissing him as he tangled their legs and slid his hands down Sebastian’s chest.
Sebastian’s hands were roaming as well, slipping under Kurt’s shirt and pulling it off him. Kurt shivered as his skin was exposed, but he couldn’t tell if it was due to the colder air or because of Sebastian’s blunt nails dragging down his back. Even in all their time together, Sebastian had never broken the rule about marking Kurt, and that was something he had always loved about his husband. But tonight he wanted the marks, the kisses bruised into him and the outline of Sebastian’s hands on his hips. He wanted to take proof of how much Sebastian had wanted him into the next stage of his life. He imagined looking in a mirror in Mexico, the lonely person in the reflection and seeing the fading patches; it wasn’t much to hope for, but it would help keep him from losing his mind as well as Sebastian.
He licked slowly along Sebastian’s bottom lip once more before pulling back. “I want you to fuck me.” Kurt had given up on being shy about sex ages ago; it just hadn’t been possible with how they lived. But this was harder to say, so Kurt gathered his courage in a breath before he spoke. “I want you to mark me, everywhere if you can.”
Sebastian groaned and tightened his hands on the small of Kurt’s back, briefly digging his nails into Kurt. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do that just for me.”
Kurt responded heavily. “I know. This isn’t just for you. This is for me. You said it was about me being yours. But for me, it’s about a lasting memory. I want to remember our last night here for a long time.” ‘My last night with you,” he added mentally.
Sebastian nodded, his eyes dark with want. “We should get on the bed. We need to use it one last time.” They both stood and Sebastian pulled off his shirt, tossing it into the laundry. “I guess we don’t have to worry about keeping it clean,”
Kurt barely heard his as he recalled something from their first night. He stepped in and quickly pinned Sebastian to the door. It was different this time, with their jackets hanging on the back of it, as well as how Sebastian melted right into the kiss. But that made it almost sweeter, especially when Sebastian tipped his head to the side, offering his neck to Kurt. He dove in and sucked a heavy bruise into the skin. He had one hand buried in his hair and one hand on Sebastian’s hip, his thumb pressed into the dip made by the bone and the other fingers sneaking under his briefs.
Sebastian groaned and bucked his hips into Kurt’s, pressing his growing erection into the bulge there. “I thought I’d be the one marking you,” he panted heavily as Kurt bit his collarbone.
“I know. You are. But you know I like to give as good as I get.” Kurt nudged Sebastian’s neck the other way, leaving it open for even more bruises.
“Baby, I’m not going to have enough of a mind left to give you what you deserve if you keep this up.” Sebastian rocked his hips again and they both reacted to the wave of warmth coursing through the both of them. “Fuck Kurt!” he shouted as the feeling washed over him. He gathered his strength and pushed Kurt back a few inches, just enough so he could kiss him and try to lead him to the bed.
They made it to the steps before Sebastian pushed Kurt against the edge of the bed. They kissed like that for a moment, hands hot over the skin of their chests. Finally, Kurt tilted his neck when they separated, an offering to Sebastian.
Sebastian caught his eye once more. Seeing the approval there, he lowered his mouth to Kurt’s neck. Kurt breathed deep, suddenly struck by the memory of Sebastian sleeping there, slow, hot breaths covering the area each night like a promise. Now he would have a deeper memory of Sebastian. Kurt shivered as he felt teeth there, and groaned loudly when Sebastian finally bit down, suction pulling the blood to the surface. Sebastian’s hands tightened around his back and Kurt felt his knees start to buckle as Sebastian picked a new spot, sucking hard and panting against his skin. His hands released Kurt and unbuckled his pants, letting them slide to the floor. Sebastian followed by hitting his knees. He bit a mark into the skin just above Kurt’s briefs before mouthing his hard cock through the fabric. Kurt groaned and swore as his husband sucked the tip through the cotton, his hands pressed against the length of him and massaging his balls. When the cotton was damn and Kurt was almost collapsing, Sebastian finally pulled back and lisft6ed Kurt onto the bed, with Kurt helping to pull himself up. Kurt tugged off his underwear and spread his legs.
“Please Sebastian.” Kurt didn’t have to beg long before Sebastian crowded him again. He ignored the cock in front of him in favor of the creamy clear skin near it.
He had just started to suck a cluster of marks on hs thighs and hips when Kurt pushed at his shoulders.
“No, I want you up here with me.” Kurt pulled his legs up onto the bed, entirely out of Sebastian’s reach. He groaned and tried to follow him up, but Kurt stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Pants off please.”
Sebastian nodded and quickly stripped himself, taking little are for where he threw his clothes. His mind was on Kurt’s skin and tasting as much of it as possible. He wanted to sear the flavor into his mind. He was finally let into the bed and wasted no time in pinning Kurt to it, pressing his whole body along the length of him.
Kurt hissed as his cock was pressed against Sebastian. It quickly shifted into a moan as kisses and bites were strewn across his body. He closed his eyes and felt himself start to burn at each random place, starting on his skin before sinking deeper and melting any inhibitions Kurt had before. Sleeping with Sebastian had always been like this. Even without the marks Sebastian had always been able to take Kurt apart, fucking him to the brink of sanity and back again. Kurt desperately hoped he was at least half as good when he led them.
Sebastian finally made it down Kurt’s body once more, which was throbbing with the pressure of his bites. He spread Kurt’s legs slowly.
“Hold them open,” he instructed and Kurt groaned at him.
“I feel like we’re in a rerun,” he laughed.
Sebastian winked at him. “Well, we did say it would be the same as out first time.” He sucked a bruise into the inside of his thigh. “Maybe with a few changes.”
Kurt nodded his agreement and moaned as Sebastian finally sucked his cock into his mouth, one hand holding it steady and his tongue wrecking Kurt completely. His fingers started to slip on his legs, but everything tightened when he felt a dry finger pressing at his hole.
“Don’t you dare,” he warned breathlessly. Kurt caught the eye roll Sebastian sent his way and dropped one leg to offer him the lube. Sebastian didn’t thank him for it; instead he sucked him harder as he slicked his fingers. Kurt writhed at the feeling, only the head trapped in the warmth of his mouth. It was torture, but nothing compared to the loss his felt when it was released.
“You jerk, keep going,” Kurt spat out. “I was enjoying that.”
“I know,” Sebastian quipped, making a show of slicking four fingers. Kurt gasped as Sebastian pulled him closer, so that he was even with Kurt’s entrance. Kurt’s legs went over his shoulders, pressed intimately. “I’ve got something a little better in mind though,” he teased before closing his lips around Kurt’s balls and sucking them gently. Kurt moaned, long and high, jolting when Sebastian plunged two fingers into him. It hurt a little, as they hadn’t had the time to have sex for a while. But it felt good, just another bruise to take with him. He flashed back to their first night, Sebastian promising to mark Kurt from the inside out. He had kept that vow; Kurt knew he would never be the same, physically and emotionally, not after Sebastian.
Sebastian had just made it to three fingers, his tongue still playing a merry hell on Kurt’s nerves, when Kurt tugged on his hair. “Get up here. I want you to fuck me.”
Sebastian fucked his fingers into him one last time, just barely grazing his prostate before pulling out. He let himself be pulled up and kissed deeply. They pressed close, Kurt’s arms wrapped around him while Sebastian covered him with his whole body. Kurt almost didn’t want to move, just spend the whole night kissing his husband. But feeling his cock pressed hotly into his hip made Kurt want more, so when Sebastian pulled back for air, Kurt spread his legs in invitation.
“Fuck, Kurt,” Sebastian breathed, as he fisted the lube onto himself. “You’re fucking perfect.” Spurred on by his words, Kurt reached down and spread himself, feeling coy and sexy. When Sebastian looked at him like that, Kurt felt all his reservations blow away. Sebastian made him feel sexy simply by wanting him. So when Sebastian groaned at the sight of him spread open and waiting for his cock, Kurt couldn’t help the smirk that teased the edge of his mouth. It was quickly lost when Sebastian pressed the tip of his cock to Kurt’s hole. He paused for a second before sinking into him entirely. Kurt opened his mouth, but no sound came out, just breathless gaping.
Sebastian smirked down at him, resting on his elbows on either side of Kurt’s head. They were close enough that Kurt breathed in the air from his words. “Speechless baby?”
Kurt snapped back to reality. “Very funny.” He slid his hands down Sebastian’s back and gave his ass a quick slap. “Now move. I asked you to fuck me.”
“Ooh, bossy,” Sebastian joked, just barely keeping the lust out of his voice as he started to move, long slow thrusts at first.
“You know you love it,” Kurt groaned, not even bothering to hide how affected he was.
Sebastian murmured, “Yeah I do,” making Kurt’s heart almost stop. But he started to speed up, still giving him long thrusts but each one came with more and more power. Kurt’s mind was blank with pleasure, hands clutching at the small of Sebastian’s back as if to keep him from leaving.
Kurt’s silence was broken when Sebastian tugged his hips at a different angle, hitting his prostate on each thrust, even as each one become more and more wild and sporadic. Kurt felt his orgasm growing, sparking through his whole body.
Sebastian groaned, “Fuck, going to come baby.” His fingers were tight on Kurt’s hips, while his head was bent close to Kurt’s.
Hissing, Kurt replied desperately, “Sebastian, please… wanna come just like this, just from you.”
Exhaling harshly, Sebastian gripped Kurt’s hips with new determination, biting his lip as he sped up, slamming into Kurt. He was desperate to pull the pleasure out of Kurt.
Kurt gasped and tugged Sebastian down to his neck, offering it to his mouth. Sebastian released his lip and sank his teeth into the skin there, sending sparks of lust down Kurt’s spine. It ended at where they met and with come spurting over the both of them. Sebastian groaned, long and relieved as he felt Kurt clenching around him and the moisture between them. It didn’t take him long to reach completion, holding his hips close as he emptied himself into Kurt’s body. He collapsed on Kurt, soothing the harsh bite absently with his tongue.
Kurt ran his hands up and down Sebastian’s back, steadying his breathing and trying to get a hold of his emotions. He wanted to cry now that it was over. Sebastian shifted and raised himself up to pull out of Kurt. He hissed as Kurt’s hole clung a little to his cock and Kurt bit his lip as his body felt empty once more. He wouldn’t let Sebastian go far, and simply pulled him back into their embrace.
“We should clean up,” Sebastian muttered after a moment, his voice muffled by Kurt’s skin.
Kurt shook his head. “Let’s just sleep like this. We can shower in the morning.” He wanted to hold onto this as long as possible.
Sebastian nodded. “Ok.” He reached up and flicked off the light. He settled back down, tucking his head into Kurt’s neck as Kurt pulled the covered up over them.
Neither of them slept the whole night.