I’m certain that Derek has returned to hating me, and that you may have followed him in that aspect. Please understand that I was trying to right things, and didn’t intentionally try to tangle you in this catosphere. I know that sounds like a flimsy lie, because of how I took from you, but it is all I can say.
I hope this letter finds you well. It may seem like I pre-planned this, but I penned it right before going to the police. I am certain that they think that using you as an example would encourage more people than I, and I have been cruel in allowing them to set examples before you. I have been incredibly weak, incredibly selfish.
I would like to say that those characteristics stop today, would like to promise you that I will become a better man. I could promise you it, to break it at a later date, if that would agree better with you. At least prison will not be too changed.
I fear that your father will be home soon, asking what I am doing here and how I got in the house. (That will be my little secret.) I think I will leave this up in your room, so that you may get this letter, hoping that your father doesn’t check there.
Hopefully, I will see you again.
I don’t blame you, dude. I know you were just trying to get out of it and I’m sorry that it ended up with you back in prison and I’m sorry I didn’t just confront you about it and that Derek isn’t the happiest of campers right now. They got me out with just a concussion and some scrapes and bruises, which wasn’t terrible until I was faced with the pile of homework I had missed.
My dad didn’t believe me when I said I couldn’t do it because the headaches. It was worth a shot anyway.
Derek doesn’t hate you, I don’t think. I don’t think because he’s kind of not speaking to me anymore? I think he’s upset that I got involved, I don’t know.
It’s scaring me. I know I should probably not say that, but it’s so much easier to write than admit. I miss him a lot, I miss the family, I wish that the stupid baby project was still going on. I really miss everyone, even Laura with her bullshit.
I wish I hadn’t stopped you from stealing my medicine.
Anyway, school is hell but I guess prison probably is worse. Do you have to share a cell there? What’s your cellmate like? Are you okay?
On the plus side, since I was technically part of crime scene, my friends are like actually interested in me again. Like, Jackson doesn’t tell me to shut up or that I need to get lost. Lydia’s been helping me with homework, which would be awesome, except I kinda think I’m in love with Derek?
Like really, really, in love with him? Isn’t that strange?
Anyway, I’m writing this really late, so don’t expect it to be perfect. We can’t all have your prose.
It’s quite debatable that anyone could write like me. It’s called practice, actually. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, somewhere in the classrooms of your last eight years.
I don’t have to share a cell, mainly because of my sister’s kindness. Most cellmates seem to either love or hate their partner, which seems very reminiscent of college. Prison has never been too hard for me, I just avoid those with hot-head mentalities and associate with the great minds that happened to trust the wrong person.
There’s quite a faction here, between brawn and brains and to be quite frank, sometimes it’s frightening that at any moment someone could snap and collide. Good thing I was blessed with the strength of a Hale.
Speaking of Hales, I’m sorry to hear that Derek has stopped speaking to you. Though you’ve probably asked around, knowing your very...vocal personality, I will give you my advice to confront him. Derek’s an idiot, pardon me, of a martyr and will continue to do so until someone stops him. He blames himself for everything bad that happens around him; I would not be surprised if he blamed global warming on himself.
It’s very strange to think that love could exist that early, and I’m going to say if you do think you are in love, then I wouldn’t let it go. That’s all I can really say on that. Romance was never for me.
Rest assured that things will work out.
You’re right. Derek is an idiot. And I guess I’m one too, because I couldn’t let him go. But I’m really excited for the summer, apparently we’re going to the beach. Talia invited me, and Scott’s going to be in New York with Allison during half the break so I figured why not.
She told me about the house you guys have by the beach, and how you would steal alcohol from the cabinet and hid it, among other things. You wouldn’t happen to share your skills with a friend, would you?
Cora won’t be going, because she’s doing a summer session of track with the school. Talia told her if she could behave for the summer then she could do track for the fall. I think she’s going to be fine, with how badly she wants to be part of it and everything. My dad will probably still check on her.
We have a “family” dinner every few weeks, with my dad and the rest of everyone. It goes well, but there’s sometimes that Laura mentions you and everyone gets really quiet. I’m not sure why, because it’s not like you’re dead.
Doesn’t anyone else write to you? What do you do all the time?
And that’s so cool that you get your own cell. Well, as cool as it could be, given the situation. Okay, that sounded bad even to me. Sorry, just forget I wrote that.
(PS I would write it over but this is the third copy and fuck that.)
It’s endearing that you would write multiple copies to make sure you wrote what you wanted to say. It doesn’t really matter to me if you attempt to hurt my feelings, or do it on accident. I don’t particularly care. A lot of the brutes here have no concern for delicacy, but also no concern for honesty, so even blunt truthfulness is a breath of fresh air.
Yes, Talia writes once a week, as does Camilla. Ritsa not so much, but she was never one for giving such extravagances to people she is upset with. Laura has written a few times, but I think it hurts her. It’s the only downside for me, that I would hurt my family by being here.
Moving on, I’m surprised Talia told you that before you went to the beach. Does she not know that you would try to get into it? And how would your father respond? I bet she didn’t tell you why I began to hide bottles, because she’s got to keep up the appearance that she’s the head of the house.
Well, our father wasn’t too strict on us not drinking, once I turned thirteen. I am aware that seems like a morbidly young age, but it’s just part of our culture, so don’t act so surprised, Stiles. Anyway, when I was thirteen, she was about nineteen and had fallen head over heels for this boy she met at the beach. Quite a prick, if I do say so myself.
She invited him over one night when our parents were having a date night, which was perfectly allowable until he found out we had drinks. Now, Talia will never tell you this herself, but she was very much the lightweight. He wanted to drink though, and she was so certain that he would find her impressive if she could take as much as he could.
Needless to say, Camilla and Ritsa were cruel and unusual back then and I was much too young, so she ended up throwing up all over her lovely guest.
And mother and father came home to puke on the couch and an angry, drunk boy and banned us from the cabinet henceforth. But father loved me, a little too much for being his youngest and his only son, so I got away with hiding it.
Now, I don’t want to be a prude but I do not think your father would very much approve if I graced you with that particular knowledge. So I shall not tell you. And, if you happen to stay in the room I did, and the air conditioning seems faulty, like the vents are clogged, that’s of no matter to you either.
Lydia’s Halloween party is soon, and I’m trying to force Derek into going. Do you have any good things that he’d hate that I knew for me? (You really shouldn’t be surprised that I would blackmail him, not really.) I think he has scowled the rest of the family into silence. Even my best attempts at bribery and begging seem to make him not want to go.
Maybe it’s because I want him to dress up as Wolverine?
Anyway, one of my friends from a little aways is coming down to see me and come to the party as well. It’s Boyd so he won’t be much of a spirit to have fun with. Did I tell you about Boyd? He’s the guy that I made my video game with, he wants to sell it while he’s down here. We were supposed to so he could go to college last year, but he took time off to go to Brazil for an internship. I really wished dad would have let me go, but he said that I didn’t graduate yet which makes school more important.
My dad is making me put the money in my college fund, not like I would have done that myself. I’m hoping that my college fund will pay for food and housing, and that I’ll get a full-ride somewhere. Being the Sheriff isn’t really the most high paying job, you should know. I’ll go anywhere that cuts down the cost.
Cora had a meet this week, she placed second. It was freezing, but she still insisted that we got ice cream after. Apparently it’s a family thing? And why can’t a place that sell donuts also sell ice cream? I want something warm to munch on, not something that is going to hurt my teeth.
The juniors are thinking on crashing the senior’s fall assembly, because it’s supposed to be super top secret? Jackson, Danny, and Scott seem really into the idea but we’re going to see it next year anyway. I’m not sure, but I’ll probably go along. They’ll want someone to wait in the car.
Speaking of cars, Derek’s trying to talk me into taking the old Volvo in the garage. He said it used to be yours, which is kind of funny, because then he doesn’t have the right to give it away. Anyway, I could never give up my baby, no matter how she keeps almost dying. I’m sure that she’s got another few years on her at least.
Or hopefully enough to take me to college.
I don’t know where I want to go yet, or really what I want to do? I kind of want to either do something with criminal justice or something with hearts. Derek’s always had his thoughts planned out, which is great for him but I think all the adults think I should hurry up.
Derek used to wear a tutu for three years straight when he was a child. If he complains about not wanting to dress up, just tell him he could go as a ballerina instead. I’m sure it will compel him to be more open to the idea of Lydia’s party.
You didn’t tell me about this game, but I’m sure it will do well. Perhaps you and this Boyd will hit the metaphorical jackpot and you won’t have to go to college because you’ll be so rich. Brazil is a wonder, by the way. I definitely suggest you travel there at least once in this lifetime.
Speaking as someone in prison, I definitely think that law enforcement should be paid more. It’s a horror to deal with everyone in here; I couldn’t do it.
Cora hasn’t written to me in a few months, but I’m sure that she will mention it. I’m slightly startled that she placed second though. Perhaps she didn’t develop the competitive gene that we all seem to posses? Speaking on sports, how has lacross been going this semester?
I wouldn’t suggest trying to break into the senior shabang, but that’s mainly because it’s been instituted since I was in high school. Ritsa tried to sneak in and got caught, which was a warning to me not to try. So I didn’t. And when I became a senior, just like everyone else becomes a senior, I found out the big secret. (It’s not that big of a secret.)
As for the Volvo, you can have it if your feeble excuse for a car ever dies out. I want an excuse to buy something new when I get out, however far away that is. It’s a good, sturdy car, that would probably have been wonderfully used if I didn’t spend so much of my time in jail and rehab. But, alas, you might have to shoulder the burden of taking it out for a drive every once in awhile.
Or I fear that they may give it to Cora, and who knows what she’ll get up to with it.
I went to college for Journalism to start with, and that didn’t really work out. Hm, I fear I was supposed to give you something of encouragement? My apologies, because sometimes I am not the most uplifting. However, I fear that is true for both of us. Here, let me give it another try: even if you don’t like what you first go for, you can always switch majors.
Or drop out, whichever you’d prefer.
You were really right about the senior thing, I mean just writing our initials into the wood? Too bad Danny and Jackson got banned from this “epic senior tradition”. Derek seemed pretty excited about it though, so I managed to muster up some enthusiasm for it as well.
I recently started applying for college, from our community college to others in places like Florida and New York. I’ve got excellent grades but I’m afraid that it’s likely that the community college won’t really be handing out full-rides. Derek is pretty insistent that he’s going to stay in-state. He says he wants to be close to his family, which I can understand. And hey, he can afford it. I told him he should try for bigger colleges than Beacon Hills University, but he says that it’ll do for him as of right now.
I’m sure Talia already told you, but Laura brought a boy home. Like, a serious thing, because apparently they’ve been together for seven or so months and Laura’s pretty sure he’ll pop the question soon. It kind of makes me want to laugh, considering the two years that Derek and I have almost reached.
But, who am I to judge? I was the one who wrote to the uncle in prison confessing I was in love with his nephew.
I’ll tell you something that I bet Talia didn’t: that this boy is bisexual. Isn’t that funny? I wonder if he’s told Laura, I mean probably, but just thinking back to Laura in her senior year, could you imagine how she would respond to finding out her boyfriend also likes boys?
Prom will be here in a few months, which is exciting. I’m hoping Derek will ask me, but if not, I’ve got a pretty sweet set-up to surprise him. I wish we could be King and King but prom is still super fucking heteronormative, which means the crown will probably go to Lydia and Jackson.
Just don’t tell Lydia I even thought about stealing her crown.
I got a full ride to Mercer! It’s all the way in Georgia, but I’m sure that things will work out. My dad and the rest of the family have been planning Derek and I’s graduation party, which seems like it’s actually going to be pretty cool.
I wish you could be there.
How is college holding you? What type of classes are you taking?
Over in California, it is a rather hot day. I spent most of it reading in the shade. I cannot help but think how far away you are at times like these, when the extent of my world is so small. I guess my worry may be cumbersome, added with everyone else’s, but I would still like to know that you are doing well.
This may take some time to get to you, because of distance, but I will wait for a response. Talia will probably write to me about Derek’s feelings on you being away, and how you are doing based on phone calls, so don’t be too anxious to respond.
Also, I heard that you took the Volvo with you to Georgia?
College is a lot of fun, but I don’t think I’ve found my place yet. The hardest class I’m taking is second-semester Chemistry, which is just ridiculous in all of its rights. I stay up late, study hard, rarely eat and rarely socialize. Ritsa would probably have my head for it.
Derek texts me everyday, and we Skype often, but I’m afraid he likes to hide how he feels about me being so far away. I miss everyone.
And Georgia is nothing like Beacon Hills. There’s so much happening here, I can barely remember it all. It feels like too much at times. It’s always hot but it’s also muggy at all points of the day. I’m going to sweat to death over here.
The great thing is that I’m really close to Florida, so Boyd is like, six hours away. Not super close, but I could spend a weekend or two down there. Did I tell you he’s going to get married to Erica? She’s a girl that used to find it funny to hit on Derek, but apparently her and Boyd really hit it off at Lydia’s halloween party all those years ago.
Yes, I did bring the Volvo down to Georgia. I love my baby enough to understand that it won’t live through an experience like this. That doesn’t mean I’m replacing her.
I came home today. It was so great to see everyone, but it made me remember that you aren’t here. Everyone else seems to be able to avoid it, but I can’t help thinking about it. Do you miss us too?
Cora’s grown so much. Laura’s getting married. I wonder why she isn’t waiting for you. I know it sounds crass of me, but I can’t help but thinking it? How could they continue on knowing that you aren’t here?
Perhaps it’s because I come from a smaller family. I’ve begun to think on a lot of things, but then again I’m about to be a junior. I guess that means I should be thinking about things.
Derek’s talking about transferring to Emory. It’s in Georgia too, so we could be close to each other. It would be nice to have someone there that isn’t married, like Boyd and Erica. It would be nice because it’s him. He told me he wanted to because, even though he wants to stay close to family, I am family to him.
Isn’t that strange?
Scott’s taking over the veterinary here. I think Allison is opening up her own self-defense school. Of all the people I figured would want to fly out of here, it would be them. Afterall, Allison’s bat-shit family still lives here. Well, them and Jackson and Lydia. Both of them left on graduation night.
Part of me wonders if I’ll want to come back, like to live, when I finish school. Part of me wonders what Derek would think if I didn’t. How did you stay here?
Whoever said that I stayed in Beacon Hills my entire life? A majority of it was spent there, yes, but I traveled as well. I didn’t want to leave my family, because after my one love and loss they were all I had, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t be free.
Besides, Camilla would have ended me if I tried to take all of the books away from the house.
As for Laura, I knew she was getting married. I knew it when you wrote to me about her hoping he would ask her to, because she isn’t stupid and you wouldn’t have included it if you didn’t think it was a very real possibility. Also, she had recently sent me a letter herself. She apologized about not waiting, and saying she could if it would make things easier on me. I told her to go ahead, so you don’t have to worry about them forgetting me.
I know sometimes my family doesn’t like to talk about the hard things. Most of them are still able to look through life with rose-stained glasses. Lucky them.
I was wondering how long it would take for you or Derek to cave and reshift closer to each other. It isn’t shocking that Derek was the one who decided to “take the bullet” but I’m sure he’ll be happy at Emory. As for the family sphill, I’m not surprised. You’ve been considered family for a very long time, even by the adults.
I miss all of you very much. Sometimes it feels like I might actually crack under emotions and show that I have them to others, but that wouldn’t be becoming of me at all.
Derek asked me to move in. And I’m kind of freaking out because there’s like a ninety-five percent chance that this won’t ever get sent to you but I need to write it down because it is something that happened. I mean, does he realize how big this is, us getting an apartment together? I know we’ve been “together” for like, four years now, but this is a whole new field.
I mean, sure he stays over at my place every three or four nights, and the other nights are usually spent at his, but this is different. It would be like, if he wanted alone time, well sorry, I live here too? And the same goes for me and what if he hates that I leave towels on the bathroom floor and what if I get angry at the way he leaves his trimmings in the sink?
What if we break up because we realize that we can’t live together?
Did I mention that Derek asked me to move in?
Just move in with him. It’s not going to be that hard. You’re going to piss each other off. You’re going to get irritated. There will be fights. There will be make-ups. I had three older sisters, all who have successfully found their “soul-mate”. I’ve seen this way too many times.
Derek isn’t going to leave you. I’m sure you guys will make it work.
Did I hit everything I had to hit to be considered a good uncle? Yes? I think so.
Also, concerning your last letter, the one that wasn’t a complete meltdown, I would think Allison would have expected Scott to pick you as the best man. It’s her own fault for marrying your attached twin.
I know you get out soon, like in less than six months, and I know that you’re probably tired of letters but I just had to write this one. My hand’s shaking a little bit, I feel like I’m more happy than I was when I got accepted into medical school.
Derek asked me today, you were right. He asked me to marry him.
We were visiting with Talia and everyone and we went back to the tree and he asked me and I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting it like that, but it was so wonderful? And I couldn’t stop crying, because it just felt so surreal. Who gets to marry their first boyfriend anyway?
When we went back to the house, I realized that most everyone else was in on it, because my dad just gave me this smile, like he knew. And Talia and Ritsa and Camilla all came flying off the porch to hug me and Derek. Everyone was just so happy, even Laura with her little two-year-old brat (don’t ever tell her I called Sophie that).
We were thinking about having it in the summer, so you could be there. I don’t want to have my wedding unless you’re there. You’ve already missed so much, I feel like you’ve missed too much. I’m just ready for you to come back. I think we all are.
We all miss you so much. I can’t wait to see you, Peter.
Stiles kept every letter. Thank you.
I’m expecting to see you at our wedding.