Derek didn't mean anything by it. It was meant as a challenge, and the response was meant as ridicule. He really just meant it as ridiculous thing, Laura has always told him he tends to get ridiculous when he is in his first stage of anger. But somehow, it caught on in a way neither of them, most definitely him, meant.
“Are you insane?! The only person I would do that for is my mom or maybe Lydia, maybe!"
Jackson didn’t get into many arguments with Derek or Boyd. Usually Stiles or Scott were there, and they were typically the ones diffusing disagreements in their odd male misfits six–at school, we'll...it was technically Derek who came in the end to diffuse it but none of the guys ever got involved when arguments were between Stiles and him. That is so unfair. So when Jackson blew up at Derek, the entire English class went quiet. All eyes went to Derek Hale.
"I guess you’ll have to start calling me mother then,” Derek responded coldly. His voice was low and menacing. It had a note of finality that not even Harris, who was monitoring study period of the class, would have tested. It was beyond obvious that Derek was pissed.
“What did I say?”
“Y-yes mom,” Jackson whispered, already beating himself up on the inside. It was clear Jackson has angered him and if he wanted his life spared. He needs to comply.
Scott and Stiles strolled through the classroom door just in time to hear Jackson's submission. Scott looked confused at what had happened. Derek wasn't worried about Scott, it was Stiles that was worrying. Stiles who was looking at Derek with raised brows and mouthing the word ’mom?‘ more bemusedly than anything else. Derek’s expression soured and he stood up loudly shoving his chair back. He was almost amused at whole class flinching. Almost, if Stiles wasn't there to watch him like he is his own entertainment. He walks out of the classroom. brushing shoulders with Stiles, almost daring him to say it out loud before he existed the fiasco.
Stiles stares at Jackson and Isaac, tilting his head to the side. Boyd smirked nodding his head in greeting. Jackson is staring at the floor and Isaac is pretending to study with his textbook upside down, avoiding Scott's questioning.
There was a beat of silence.
“Well come on,” Stiles says, motioning to the door. “We can’t have ’mom’ mad now, can we?”
Jackson had the most reluctant look but he dragged his feet across the classroom and out the door. Boyd followed swiftly and Isaac trailed behind Scott who was still questioning him. Stiles exited after them smirking to himself.
The class stayed silent for a moment more, making sure all of the guys had left for sure, before exploding into conversation.
“Mom?” Matt screamed, startling the rest of the class into silence. “Wow, Derek is sure something! To become something even more terrifying that just the school’s number one badass!"
"I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be a compliment,” Allison giggled. Lydia rolled her eyes in agreement.
“But think about it!” Matt said excitedly. “Who do you fear most of all?”
“My mom,” Allison agreed.
“See!” Matt yelled. “Even Allison says so!”
“B-but I…I actually find…my dad more scary,” Greenberg stuttered softly. Some other students chorused in consensus.
“Ah, that brings up a good question,” Allison nodded. “If Derek Hale is the mother, then who’s the father?”
“Scott McCall?” Matt asks.
“No way! That potato?” Erica objects while checking her perfect nails for its perfect shape. “Don’t you think Scott is more like a righteous potato child than a parent?”
“Well, if Lydia Martin is our class’s number one in ruthless and smartness and popularity then she’s–” Matt begins but immediately stops half way when Lydia turns around to glare daggers at him. “–definitely not the dad!!”
“What about Stiles?” Greenberg asks. “They’re the same almost, only those two can handle each other.”
“That’s it!” Matt exclaims once again. “It all makes sense! Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski are the parents and the four kids are Isaac, Scott, Jackson and Boyd.”
Erica snorted at that before exclaiming, "Boyd looks more like godfather than love child. But I wouldn't mind being his mami."
"TMI Erica," Lydia grinned cheekily responding leaning towards Erica.
The class began chattering once again. Each person offering more evidence for this newly founded family unit.
“Hey, Lydia, shouldn’t we stop this?” Allison leaned towards blonde and red head whispering to them.
“They’re getting…a little too into this,” Erica murmured watching the whole class writing the list down of it.
“Let them,” Lydia answered. She looked up at her friends with an undeniably mischievous smile.
“Well,” Allison smiled, sipping a drink from Apple juice box. “Alright. They act like they’re married anyways.”
“Don’t they?” Erica asked.
Lydia hummed in agreement before mentioning, “Although, I always saw Stiles as the mother.”
Allison choked on her juice and coughed, “You’ve thought about this?”
Lydia smirked at her friends and went back to finishing her math sheet.
By the time it reached Derek’s ears, it was too late. Derek was absolutely totally mortified to know that he somehow became the mother of four delinquents. Seriously? Of all things in his high school career. How is he gonna break it to his parents that he is a mom now?? He never received the 'Don't get pregnant talk.' Come to think of it, none of his siblings received that, just safe sex and pictures of STDs. Horrifying...mothers are scary.
“–well you did tell him to start calling you mom.”
“You asshole, it was called a threat. Why would I want anyone to call me mom?”
“What if I want to call you wife?”
“Go die, Stilinksi.”
Jackson and Isaac jumped on the family unit bandwagon pretty quickly and enthusiastically. Scott was rather reluctant but he didn’t have much of a choice as Isaac single handily dragged him into it. Boyd, well, let’s just say Derek was glad he didn't talk much.
It was frustrating enough, for Derek at least, that his classmates knew. But apparently this little story didn’t stop at their peers.
“Jackson, Mom and Dad, lead the suicide drill,” Finstock called one day during lacrosse practice. Derek resisted the urge to brain himself with his own cross and Stiles coughed trying to unsuccessfully cover up his laughter. The rest of the team were snickering, only seizing to exist at the cold glare of Derek. They learned not to laugh at the mom of the team. But seeing the family unit interaction and getting the cold bad boy Derek to chase Stiles around the field up and up to a tree? Extra suicides are worth it though. So worth it.
“Come on, baby Isaac and mom,” Stiles said cheerily, patting his mortified wife on the shoulder.
“Coming, dad,” Derek responded with absolute defeat.
During their entire practice with Finstock kept yelling mom and dad, Stiles beamed with pride and Derek refrained from body checking his ass. Just to get that stupid happy smile off his face.
Derek thought this blunder would remain in school. So what if French teacher personally talked to him about Isaac’s amazing progress. So what if Stiles kept sniffing and acting like a proud dad whenever Scott made an attempt to talk to Allison without choking. Honestly, out of all this…Stiles was having most fun.
As long as it stayed on the grounds of school.
Even Derek hoped he wasn’t that unlucky.
“So when did you get married, lil nephew?”
“I hear congratulations are in order. Someone made an honest man out of you.”
Laura bounded down the stairs, “darling brother, I had to hear from Cora. I thought you would have at least told me before secretly eloping.”
“But-what...I am not even dating Stiles!”
Peter and Laura exchanged the look. A look Derek has learned to associate with crazy and mayhem and all the world of trouble for Derek.
Derek backed away slowly. He needs to make a run for it. And he almost succeeded too, if he didn’t almost crash into his parents.
“Laura and Peter, leave Derek alone,” Talia scolded the two mischievous practically adults at their antics before smiling at Derek ruffling his thick dark hair.
Derek’s papa smirked “Son. When are you introducing us our son-in-law?”
“Dear! Don’t tease our boy. We should plan family dinner with the in-laws dinner! I can’t wait to share good news with Claudia and John!”
“Oh god…no mom!”
Derek’s face was hot. He knew he was blushing, he could feel heat burning in his ears and cheeks. So, he did the most logical thing. Honestly, if anyone ever met his family. His whole family. They would agree with his most logical thing in face of his family teasing and craziness.
“Why aren’t you complaining about this?”
“I told you, I want to call you wife.”
“…you no good husband. Can’t believe I have a husband without even going on first date.”
“Oh but we will go on our first date. This weekend.”
“Are you asking me out?”
“Such a shame, we are going on a date after we got married. Talk about royal arrange marriage trope.”
“What? Actually, nvm. Before you ramble, are you going to pick me up?”
“Of course. What kind of husband would I be?”
“Well, this should go well, my mother and father wanted to meet her son-in-law.”
Stiles choked on his saliva coughing before looking at the very serious face of his wife, “really? They know? H-how? Your mom is not like Laura right? She won’t eat me for dinner?”
“Cora told the good news to the whole family. Cousins are excited and planned to do a future wedding. They even want orange and blue for colours.”
“Awesome…really…great. Should I bring the kids for introduction too?”
“Aw wife, don’t pout. Makes me wanna do dirty things to you,” Stiles grinned wiggling his eyebrows looking more ridiculous
Derek smacked his head continuously against the locker, just to avoid answering that, or better yet…responding to that with his own mouth. He is a lady okay, three dates before kissing.
What is his life?!?!