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“So you carry the one and then?” Stiles leans against the table, arms folded across his chest. Isaac sighs and scribbles on his paper for a moment.

“You get...four?” He offers.

“Isaac, man. You just did long division!”

Stiles cheers.

“I got the right answer?”

“Damn straight you did! Yo, Derek, Isaac got it!” Stiles hollers over his shoulder.

“You do realise you don't have to shout? I am a werewolf, Stiles.” Derek pokes his head in from the kitchen, tea towel slung over his shoulder and glasses sliding down his nose. “Well done, Isaac. I'm proud of you.” He vanishes back into the kitchen.

There's a beat.

“Oh no, my soufflé.” Derek’s voice winds faintly into the room, the mournful sound easy to hear even for the human.

“Oh man, his soufflé.” Stiles says, and runs into the kitchen. Sounds of soothing can immediately be heard.

“Bingo.” Says Isaac smugly.

“Sneaky.” Erica pokes him in the ribs. “Manipulating mom like that. Just so you could cross off your last square.” She pokes him again.

“I didn't manipulate Stiles.” Isaac argues. “I really did need help.”

“Where did you get your last tile from then?” Erica asks.

Isaac pulls a piece of paper from his jeans pocket and unfolds it, smoothing it out. Though slightly crumpled, it clearly displays Stiles comforts Derek when cooking goes wrong.




“Is everyone up? School soon. They haven't eaten yet.” Stiles yawns and plants his face in Derek’s bicep. Pencils sound throughout the loft.

“They're getting dressed. I made pancakes. Good lure for them to come down. You want coffee?”

“Life saver.” Stiles mumbles through another yawn. “Gimme.”

“Idiot.” Derek scoffs fondly, sliding a mug towards him. Stiles opens his eyes blearily. Erica yelps and jumps up and down a few times above them.

Derek and Stiles share a bemused look as Isaac falls over his own shoes trying to cross a panel off, across the loft finding his sweater.

“What in the..?” Derek says under his breath, a bite of pancake balanced on his fork millimetres from his mouth. Stiles steals it neatly, licking his lips and grinning.


Lydia taps at something in her phone as she slid into a chair at the table and starting serving herself.

“You're up early.” She comments, flicking her eyes towards the two.

“You aren't.” Stiles fires back. He and Derek share another look.

“Bingo.” Lydia tells Isaac, and tucks into her pancakes.

“Already? It isn't even nine yet!” Erica yells from the stairs.




“You can't just run into danger like that!” Derek exclaims, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face.

“He shot you, Derek. With an arrow. A poisonous arrow, if it hasn't escaped your notice! Wolfsbane is mildly fatal for you! If I hadn't run into danger you could have died!” Stiles' arms flail about wildly.

“You could have died, Stiles. You, the breakable human.”

“Are you even listening to me? You were going to die, you big idiot!” Stiles' face is red with frustration.

“Of course I'm listening to you! Better me than you!” Derek shouts back.

“Damn, should have put that on mine.” Malia says. “Are you listening to me?” She mimics.

“Yeah, you should have. Bingo.” Boyd smirks at the coyote.

“Fuck you, Vernon!” Malia growls.

“Again?” Derek and Stiles glare disapprovingly, having stopped arguing long enough to scold them.

“Bingo!” “Bingo!” Erica and Jackson tackle Boyd merrily.

“Fuck your second place, I won!” He shouts from his position under Erica, Jackson holding him in a headlock. Derek and Stiles roll their eyes in sync.

“Bingo.” Whispers Isaac to Cora over skype.

“Make them stop, Sourwolf!” Stiles groans.

“You know they don't listen to me.” Derek shrugs, rolling his eyes again. Cora holds up a piece of paper with BINGO written on it in sharpie, and Isaac giggles.

“What am I doing wrong?” Scott looks at his lone crossed out square and sighs.

“Playing.” Stiles scowls. Derek snorts. Stiles' phone pings in his pocket and Derek reads it over his shoulder. The text from Lydia reads BINGO MOTHERFUCKERS.

“How is she doing that?” Isaac wonders. “She isn't even here.”

Derek and Stiles roll their eyes at each other and Liam yelps excitably.

“Bingo! Bingo bingo bingo! I got bingo!”

“We heard you the first time, Liam, sit down.” Stiles grumbles.

“Uh oh, Mom's angry.” Erica announces.

“I am not your mother!” Stiles yells, just shy of actually angry.

“Sorry, Mom.” Multiple voices echo around the room. Stiles sighs in frustration and slumps into Derek’s chest.

“Son of a bitch. I got Bingo.” Scott says in wonder.

“Mom, we got you that shirt! You can't not be our Mom.”

Isaac and Liam are pouting, though it was Liam that spoke.

“The tie-dyed monstrosity.” Stiles growls under his breath, though every wolf in the house can hear him.

“You and Dad have matching ones, isn't that something you like?” Erica asks, grinning so wide it looks like her head is about to split open.

“I am a man. I am the manliest of men. Why do they do this to me, Derek? Why?” Stiles whines, still face first in Derek’s chest.

“Better than what Erica wanted your shirt to say.” Laughs Scott.

“Listen. Pack Daddy and Pack Papa were funny. I stand by that.” Erica tosses her hair. Stiles groans, long and loud.

“Why me.”

“Easy target.” Derek says.

“...I want a divorce.” Stiles still hasn't moved.

“We aren't married.” Derek growls. His face is beet red.

“Try telling them that, Dad.” Stiles stresses, pulling away and glaring.

“Could be married if you'd stop fooling around.” Erica mutters.

“Erica.” Stiles and Derek snap.

“Bingo.” Malia says.




“Hi, babe.” Derek absent-mindedly pecks Stiles on the forehead, who in return squeezes his ass.

“Bingo!” Three people shout, one of whom isn't present, but rather in a skype window on Derek’s laptop.

“I hate you all. You're all reverse grounded. Go to your rooms. And by rooms I mean YOUR OWN HOUSES. I am going to have SEX. With my HUSBAND. And you are NOT INVITED.” Stiles yells, and tugs Derek out of the room by his belt loops.

Boyd dives out of the window in panic.

“Drama queen.” Erica scoffs.

“Time to go to the movies, y'all.” Mason fakes a southern accent and tries to push Jackson out of the door.

“But I thought?” Kira tilts her head.

“Oh, honey. No. They aren't kidding.” Lydia says.

“What are we seeing?” Isaac asks.

“I literally do not care as long as it isn't their sex tape.” Scott says. Isaac smirks, leaning against the wall like an especially deadly male model.

“You're scarring my innocence.” He drawls.

Lydia raises one perfect eyebrow at him.

“Please. You once tried to seduce Jackson. With Erica. Innocence, my perfect ass.”

“Tried.” Snorts Erica. Isaac high fives her.

Jackson blushes and attempts to hide behind his girlfriend. Her lips curl up into a smile.

“Honey, you didn't ask me to join?” Kira blushes so heavily at that Lydia privately thinks it's a wonder she doesn't pass out. The red stain goes all the way into her shirt. Scott has certainly noticed that, going by the direction of his stare.

Erica flicks her tongue obscenely at Jackson, who somehow turns an even pinker shade. Everyone stares.

“Time to go!” Kira squeaks, as a moan loud enough for even those without supernatural hearing echoes through the house.

“Why is Derek so loud?” Mason wonders, and he opens the door.

“This is why Boyd split the second they mentioned sex, you know.” Isaac clomps out the door after Mason. Jackson follows sullenly, though he's blushing as Erica and Lydia loudly discuss his sexual prowess.

“Don't worry, Jackson. You'll get a reward for being so well behaved later.” Lydia tells him, seemingly not caring about the loud catcall Erica whoops in her ear.

“I fell in a hole.” Liam says quietly, watching Scott snort at the reminder of his teenage folly.

“That's what she said.” Erica and Isaac chorus. Another moan chases them out the door faster.



They don't return until they get the all clear from Stiles, scolding them for 'loitering creepily'.

“I guess he doesn't mind getting caught with his pants down, then.” Erica says.

“Nice.” Scott fist bumps her.

Lydia rolls her eyes and carries on painting Isaac's nails.

“I guess Derek fell in a hole.” Liam says.



Mason high fives him without looking.