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Four Birthdays That Might Have Happened

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Jack was darting across the cabin like a man possessed, trying to find things that would contain all the leaks the roof had sprung. He was failing incredibly well. Sara stood back, shaking her head as she watched Jack with pots and pans and buckets.

It was quite funny actually, the way he believed he'd be able to take control of the situation.

"Okay, just hang on, I've got it under control," Jack said, standing in the middle of the cabin, a pan in each hand, other various containers at his feet.

Sara shook her head. "Jack-"

"No, seriously, I'm on top of this," Jack said with a nod, arms stretched out with pans in hand.

A straining noise made them both look up. The next thing Sara saw was pieces of the roof fall into the cabin at Jack's feet. They both stared at the fallen pieces for a moment before Sara looked up at Jack.

He was still staring at the pieces of his broken cabin. The pan's fell from his hand as he stood under a shower of rain. Outside, thunder struck hard, lighting up the dark cabin for a moment.

Jack looked across at Sara, blinking the rain from his eyes and squinting. "I'm thinking we should go to a hotel."

Sara smiled, nodding at him.

"Also, I'm thinking, worst birthday ever," Jack said.

Sara walked across the room, stepping around the pots and pans and into the path of the leaks. Jack grabbed her hand as she stepped on fallen debris, pulling her close with an amused smile.

"How about I give you your birthday present?"

Jack frowned. "It's a little wet here for that, isn't it?"

Sara smiled. "You're pretty damned sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Jack grinned. "It's why you married me, isn't it?"

Sara arched an eyebrow. "No, but it's going to get you a divorce pretty soon."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Hey, you don't scare me. That job goes to your dad."

Sara nodded. "Hey, talking about dads, guess who's gonna be one."

Jack frowned, eyes narrowing to tiny slits as he stared at Sara.

"Happy birthday, honey. You're gonna be a daddy," Sara said with a big smile.

Jack stared, his mouth wide open. The sky was lit with thunder again and the rain became heavier, drenching them both on the spot as they looked up at the hole in the roof.

Jack looked down and at Sara, still frowning. "A baby?"

Sara nodded, searching Jack's face for things other than fear and...fear.

Jack was nodding and then a smile broke out on his face. An honest to god grin that lit the cabin.

She stood with Jack holding her, laughing into her hair as they stood under the rain and he told her it was the best birthday ever.

*

His name was Bobby Hanson and he loved talking about himself. Sam sat across from him at the table and listened.

Well, pretended to listen. Okay, she'd stopped listening a while back. But the man just went on and on and on. She'd never met a man that was so engrossed in himself.

Sam was pretty sure that she was supposed to be thanking her lucky stars for the chance to be in his divine company.

"You know what I like about you, Samantha?" Bobby suddenly said, and what kind of man called himself Bobby anyway?

"No," Sam said with her widest and fakest grin.

"You're a good listener. I like that in a woman."

Sam nodded, her smile hurting her face. She wanted to tell him she could probably shoot his head off from the other side of the street. But the last time she had said that to someone, there had been trouble.

Bobby's hand slithered across the table and covered Sam's. She tilted her head and looked at it, wondering why her fist wasn't hitting his face. Sure he was the friend of a friend, but was that reason enough to spare him the violence?

Sam pulled her hand away from the man's grasp, offering him a tight smile. "Could you excuse me a moment?"

Bobby nodded with a wide, irritating smile. Sam tried not scowl in response, though as soon as she got up and turned from him, that's where her smile inevitably ended up.

She had fully intended to go to the ladies, freshen up and return with a stronger constitution for Bobby Hanson.

Somehow, she found herself walking down the street in the opposite direction of the restaurant. She decided that just out of spite, she'd have a Big Mac for lunch while Bobby Hanson waited for her and continued looking at other women's asses.

For a birthday, it could have been better. But at least there was still work. Glorious work to take her away from the sometimes inadequate outside world where men she met kept having odd accidents.

Randy with the skiiing accident. Matt with the bungee jump gone wrong. Guy who fell out of the boat while white water rafting. Maybe she needed to find someone bookish. Not too into the dare devil activities. Someone who wore bad tweed maybe.

Then she stopped, finding a shiny window with even shinier things behind it. Bright, shiny, clean and new. Most importantly, fast.

Sam stepped up closer, her eye drawn to one black motorbike in particular. She could see herself on that, speeding down some deserted dirt road. Maybe she'd even take her helmet off, seeing as it would be deserted and all. It wouldn't be like breaking through the Earth's atmosphere and speeding away in a rocket, but she knew that on the ground it would be damn near perfect.

She looked down the street, towards the restaurant, Bobby Hanson waiting for her with his happy hands and neverending stories. Then she looked back into the show room and smiled.

"Time for a new vibrator, Captain Carter."

*

Teal'c walked in grim silence, Bra'tac at his side as they headed towards his home. It had been another hard day under Apophis. Another day that made Teal'c's doubts deepen.

"How many more Jaffa must die in the quest for his supremacy?" Teal'c asked quietly, his expression hidden in the dark shadows.

Bra'tac sighed next to him. "We are slaves of the Goa'uld, my friend. To Apophis, the death of a Jaffa means nothing."

"It cannot remain this way forever, Master Bra'tac."

"Why not? Who will be strong enough to challenge ways from before our forefathers?" Bra'tac asked, searching Teal'c's face for things he knew were there, but as yet, hidden safely.

"One day the Jaffa will have to rise," Teal'c said.

"Yes. But who will be brave enough to be the first one, Teal'c? It is that first Jaffa that will turn on the gods and wake the others. That will be the birth of a new Jaffa nation," Bra'tac said with a smile.

Teal'c nodded. "One day, Master Bra'tac."

"Sometimes, I fear it will not be in my lifetime," Bra'tac said with a smile.

Teal'c turned to look at Bra'tac, his face not hidden in the dark shadows for the first time in the night, displaying a warm smile.

He patted Bra'tac on the shoulder. "You will outlive us all."

Bra'tac nodded and smiled, letting Teal'c walk on and open the doors to the house.

Inside it was dark and silent. Teal'c looked back at Bra'tac with concern, his staff ready in his hand to fire in case of trouble.

"I am sure it is nothing," Bra'tac said, putting his hand out towards the staff weapon.

Teal'c walked on ahead towards the dining hall, Bra'tac worrying behind him.

"KREE!"

The shouts were deafening and Teal'c was swift in bringing up the staff and firing a succession of shots.

After a moment, the lamps of the house came up slowly. Bra'tac stepped back with a sheepish look in Teal'c's direction.

All the guests in the dining hall were staring with their mouths open, covered in whatever delicacy had stood in the middle of the table. Bra'tac was just glad no one was dead.

Drey'ac stepped forward, her face covered in some smooth, fluffy looking food. She looked at Bra'tac with questioning and shocked eyes.

Bra'tac turned to Teal'c, patting him on the shoulder. "Your husband is a little tense."

Teal'c slowly turned and looked at Bra'tac, not amused at all.

Bra'tac shrugged. "I was sworn to secrecy."

As Teal'c looked at food smeared faces of his guest, somewhere a lamp swung back and forth, creaking, before falling to the floor and smashing at the foot of the drapes, setting them ablaze.

And people wondered why he never celebrated the day of his birth.

*

Sha're was absolutely furious. She had already chased after Skaara with a broom. She'd even gotten him with it a few times, before he jumped over a wall and disappeared with his good for nothing friends amidst loud laughter.

Kasuf came to her side and lay a placating hand on her back. He promised her that Daniel would be fine. That he had wisdom beyond his years.

Sha're had tartly replied that no amount of wisdom made a naked trek through the sand dunes anymore bearable.

Daniel was not of Abydos. He didn't understand their ways yet, no matter how much he wanted to learn them. He would return and probably blame her for letting everyone know that today was the day Daniel had been born on Earth.

Of course, Skaara and his friends had been delighted to learn this bit of news. It gave them an excuse to alleviate their boredom through childish pranks.

The women had their own games for each other, but never anything as idiotic as the young men could come up with.

The favorite game was to take the young man whose birthday it was to the sand dunes, under some pretense of course and then to return with his clothes and let him walk back naked.

Of course, no pretense was needed with Daniel. He had no knowledge of this prank. He had willingly gone with Skaara and his friends and was probably getting lost in the desert right now.

When night fell and Daniel had still not arrived home, she was shouting at everyone, promising Skaara and his rabble of friends that if the night turned into one of mourning for her husband, he wouldn't be the only one being mourned.

Night turned to morning and Sha're spent it in an array of states. There were tears, silence, shouting, more shouting, some more tears. Then she fell asleep for a while before waking and shouting again.

Mid-day, her husband arrived, naked and covered in sand. He looked an odd vision, very naked and sandy, his hair having lost most of its color under the sand. Yet there he stood, still wearing his seeing contraptions over his eyes.

Also covered sand.

He walked into the encampent, with a wave to everyone. The giggles of women sounded somewhere behind Sha're as Kasuf was handing Daniel a sheet, which he tied around his waist. He walked up to Sha're with a smile, somewhat proud.

She cried. Then she kissed him hard in front of everyone, making Kasuf disappear. Then she slapped him hard, making Kasuf reappear from his tent to see what the sound was.

Daniel frowned, holding a hand to his cheek. "Okay, ow. What was that for?"

Sha're covered her mouth with her hand and ran into their tent. Daniel followed, one hand on his sheet that didn't seem wrapped very securely.

Before he could ask her anything, Sha're turned around and threw her arms around him.

"I thought you were dead, Danyel," she said quietly.

"So you slapped me to find out if I wasn't?" Daniel asked her slowly.

She pulled back and scowled. "Why did you take so long to return? The path is simple."

Daniel smiled and held up a finger. "Yes, it is. However, I found something on the way back."

Sha're's scowl deepened as Daniel looked up, holding his hands apart as if he were still seeing the thing he described. "It's a room, with other destinations. Places the chaapa'ai can go."

Sha're pulled her hand back hard and swung, only to have Daniel duck the blow and come back up, getting caught on the other cheek by her other hand.

Daniel frowned. "That was very good. Frightening, but good."

"Skaara left you naked in the middle of the desert, Danyel, and you decided this was the time for exploration?"

"Well, there's never really a time, per se," Daniel said.

Sha're glared.

"But you're right. It was very insensitive of me to make my naked explorations. I'm sorry."

Sha're sagged a little, not really wanting to be angry anymore, but she looked away with an annoyed pout anyway.

Daniel came up behind her and held her. "I'm sorry. Forgive me. I promise, the next time I have fun when I'm naked, you'll be there too."

Sha're tried not to smile and then gave up, hitting his arm half-heartedly.

"So, do I get a kiss for my birthday?" he whispered in her ear.

Sha're shrugged.

"Not even a little one?" she could feel Daniel smiling as he asked.

She turned in his arms slowly and gave him a long, lazy and languid kiss. He pulled back and smiled.

"You know I'm going to get your brother back for this, right?" Daniel asked.

Sha're smiled. "Good."

- the end -