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Please Come Back

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Sam was beyond worried now. At least after Castiel had lost his mental stability before he had been talking, even if it was complete gibberish. Now, however, after expelling Lucifer from Castiel’s vessel, the angel had not spoken a single word.

He had simply retreated to a spare room and sat at the end of the bed staring at the blank wall with an equally vacant expression.

Both Sam and Dean had tried coaxing him out. Dean had even stooped to bargaining as if Castiel were a small child - he offered to let the angel actually drive the Impala – but nothing worked. Castiel didn’t move; he barely even blinked. It was highly disturbing to see him so broken, but even more terrifying to think that this time the cracks might actually be beyond repair.

Sam had been stood in the doorway for about five minutes watching Castiel with an anxious frown – the angel did not give any sign of awareness of his presence.

The younger Winchester entered the room. He was not going to give up on Castiel – the angel had never given up on him and Dean, not really, so Sam would be damned if he was going to let their best friend suffer this alone.

“Hey, Castiel” he said as tentatively as he had done when they had visited the angel in the hospital the first time his mind had shattered. As Sam had expected there was no response.

He sat down on the bed - to the left of Castiel - and placed his hands in his lap. He was usually so good at connecting with people, but they were strangers he would probably never see again. This was Cas; the being who had given up everything for him and his brother. He was family. If Sam could be open about his experiences with Dean – even if it did take some time and courage – then he could do it with Castiel too.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk” Sam said despite himself. “I understand what it’s like…for Lucifer to be in your head. It’s dark, and lonely, and…terrifying. But…I knew that you and Dean would never leave me there, and that after everything you would be there for me.”

The younger Winchester’s breath hitched and he ran a callous hand down his face.

“God, Cas, I’m so sorry” Sam continued, his voice cracking with emotion. “It should never have come to that…you should never have felt like you had to do that.”

He shifted on the bed so that he was sat directly behind the angel. He leaned over and rested his forehead in the middle of Castiel’s back.

“Dean and I should have told you all along how much we appreciate what you do for us. You’re not just a tool, Cas. You’re family.”

He was all too aware that a wet patch had formed on Castiel’s back where his tears had fallen.

“Please, come back to us, Cas” Sam almost sobbed. He wrapped his arms around the angel’s waist and pulled him close. “We need you...We love you.” He buried his head in the crook of Castiel’s neck. “Nothing is worth losing you.”

Sam was almost too busy silently praying to Castiel to realise that the angel was turning his head. He felt it land on his shoulder and the angel started to openly cry.

Sam just hugged Castiel tighter and rocked them gently. He whispered words of encouragement into the angel’s ear.

He was willing to stay doing so for as long as it took.