It was irony of near epic proportions that someone who had so many thoughts running through their head could feel so empty inside. It was exhausting to be always having a running brain that refused to sit down, damnit, and colour like the other kids or listen to the teacher without fidgeting ceaselessly. When perpetual motion was stillness and everything beckoned with spidery fingers to touch and taste and feel; when commands and threats lose their force in the face of such delighted curiosity that one is helpless to give in.
Movement brought relief and his mother hugging him brought stillness in him, perhaps only for a moment, but it was enough for him to realize that it was basically possible. Then his mother died and the sheriff had to put him on meds because he could not take care of Stiles on his own anymore. The earlier doses were so heavy that Stiles became a completely different person. He would no longer run or talk or do anything but sit on their living room sofa and watch with unseeing eyes that TV.
The dosages were lowered till Stiles was a fully functioning kid again, except that his father never realized how much of that was sheer pretence on Stiles’ part. By some stroke of luck, he made friends with an asthmatic kid named Scott whose mother was divorced and a nurse and was thus someone who the Sheriff could pass off Stiles for a nigh each week or so. The offer to do the same was always relayed, but Scott did not like to sleep in any other place and Melissa, Scott’s mom, experienced nurse that she was, did not want Scott away from her either in case he got a sudden attack.
It was with Scott that Stiles started to feel things again. It didn’t fill the void inside him, but it didn’t sting so sharp and hard all the time anymore. With Scott, he started feeling better. He also got very talented at pretending for his dad. His dad did not get a whiff of the fact that Stiles sometimes liked to eat till he puked because it felt like at least something was filling him up. But then it started him on a cycle of self loathing that he was pigging out and he would try to starve himself and then he would end up binging again, particularly if he goes out with his dad for meals and cue the same cycle.
Scott found out about that somehow and ended up telling Melissa who made Stiles sit down and cry onto her side as he attempted to find the words to really explain how he was feeling. He said, “And, and it’s so stupid, so damn stupid, I am not the only one who have lost his mother, there are three more kids in my class who have lost their parents, like Isaac, and I don’t see them all empty like how I feel all the time, and it’s been years, *sob sob*, It’s been years Melissa and it still hurts the same and I don’t know what to do, I am sorry, I am *sob sob* sooo sorry Mehlisha, ahm…”
Stiles left snot and drool on her uniform for Melissa had been still wearing that when she had gone into Scott’s room and called Stiles out to have a talk. Letting it all out did not stop Stiles immediately from going back to his bad habits, but Melissa took him to some meets, let him read literature and Stiles was just fighter enough to get his life back just on the strength of his curiosity. He got better, but he was still depressed, and his anxiety was back again, so that just as he carried an extra inhaler for Scott on him all the time, Scott too took to being near him as much as possible to combat panic attacks.
Then they became seniors and Scott became besotted with this new girl named Allison and Stiles got besotted with this new boy named Derek Hale and many months went by into their senior year them just trying to psych each other to asking their crushes out. Scott ended up having many many asthma attacks in his tries and then he did manage to ask Allison out which made Scott so giddy that he ended up getting another attack which this time landed him in the hospital, but he just grinned at Stiles about that when he went to visit because apparently Allison had been visiting him and fussing over him.
Taking this as the sign that Stiles too should just go for it or whatever, Stiles asked out Derek in a-not-thought-out-at-all maneuver that took place very publicly that Derek immediately rejected, more out of shock rather than anything inherently related to Stiles, as he tried to console himself. Scott was still in the hospital, so Stiles just went home, filled out four big bottles with water from the kitchen tap and lugged them to his room. Stiles put the bottles before him and sat down in his chair, opening up one quickly and drinking half of it in a few hasty gulps. His dad won’t be home that night and so he has the freedom to do that.
He slowly started drinking the water in the bottles one by one while he watched something on his computer. Soon he needed to go to the bathroom to pee. He got up, took off all his clothes, went, and peed. Coming back, he pulled the two bottles that were still left and got on his bed. His cock was half hard, but it was not really anything sexual. He palmed at it a few times, but it was more of a tough thing rather than a getting off thing. His stomach felt quite full and he could actually imagine the water he had already consumed slosh inside him.
Stiles drank some more till he started to feel a bit floaty. He was sweating a bit, and his legs were spread wide. He closed the lid of the bottle and then put it on his bed somewhere. He touched his stomach and it actually felt a little swelled up. Stiles rubbed his hands over his stomach delicately a few times before just lying still. He had stopped binging on food, but this was something else entirely. To Stiles it felt like the water in him had suddenly grounded him in a way he was not before, the increased weight somehow making him solid and real that real life did not feel for him.
Stiles would lay back, his mid somewhat numbed, and perhaps a little in subspace for he did do the research and when he came back because he needed to pee again, he got up and went to the bathroom. He put his boxers back on and sat by his computer again. He had drank enough to pee a few more times to make taking a small nap just about redundant. Stiles knew that when he was doing was dangerous, that he could get water intoxication because that was the edge he kept pushing for everytime he drank so.
He had also vowed to never letting Scott know about it and he had been good to his words. He doesn’t do it that often, just once a week perhaps, or two at most if he had some difficult days, such as today when he asked Derek Hale out and got very publicly rejected with hoots and hollers at what a big loser he was. Stiles did not drink any more water, but came from the high he got everytime he did it. After peeing once more, Stiles lay on his bed on his side and thought how when he was filled with water he did not even dare make any sudden moves because he might just hurl. How it made him stay still and he found it so soothing.
He was still lying on his bed and contemplating if he should order a pizza or Chinese when someone rang his doorbell. Wondering who it might have been, seeing how Scott was still in the hospital and he didn’t have any other friends, he frowned as he thought if it was maybe some guys from school come to mess with him. Picking up his baseball bat that he kept by the corner of the front door, in case they tried to do something funny, as in not funny at all, Stiles hurried to the door and opened it up a small slit.
His mouth opened in a gasp when he saw that it was Derek Hale standing behind his door. Thinking that perhaps Derek had come to beat the shit out of Stiles cos he asked him out, Stiles opened the door more and gulped. Derek was scowling worse than ever, his hands clenched by his sides and looking quite constipated as he stood on the porch in silence. Stiles cleared his throat, in preparation to ask what the matter was when Derek mumbled screeched out, “Will you go out with me?”
Stiles gaped at him and said, “What.”
Blushing a bit, Derek said, “I, um, I panicked when you asked me at school. I didn’t not want to. I want to. So, I am asking, I mean, like, a date, I mean,…”
Stiles watched Derek stutter out his question and found it abnormally adorable for such a tough looking guy. Derek was steadily looking more ill at ease and his legs were shuffling backward as if he was getting ready to run at any moment now, so Stiles put his hands on Derek’s arms and said, “Yes, yes I will go out with you. We will go from school tomorrow, what do you say big buy?”
“I. Um. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” Derek nodded quickly in jerky motions looking like a cute robot or something.
“So, I will see you tomorrow Der,” Stiles told him while closing his door slowly. “Bye,” he added in a whisper.
“Bye,” Derek whispered back before Stiles heard his footsteps walking away from his door.
The next day they did indeed go for the date, burgers and cola and a movie and when Derek went to leave Stiles home, he got a kiss from Stiles on his cheek that left him feeling dazed and smiling beatifically. As for Stiles, he suddenly found he didn’t feel so empty as before, a curiously pleasant heat spreading through his body. It actually felt nice.