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Darkness I became

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 ***

Blue jeans, White shirt
Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn
It was like, james dean, for sure
You so fresh to death & sick as cancer
You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop
But you fit me beter than my favourite sweater, and I know
That luv is mean, and luv hurts
But I still remember that day we met in december, oh baby!

 ***

Willow was still standing at the threshold and stared down the stairs, to the chained and caged Angelus lying lifeless on the floor. She sighed and closed her eyes before she made the first step forward. She was already down the stairs when she heard his voice.

“I knew you'd come to see me.”

Willow could feel the blood rushing in her face and the quivering of her right hand; she had heard the voice a thousand times, but she was still able to distinguish between the young and light tone of Angel's and dark and sombre tone of Angelus' voice. The growl was merely inaudible, but Willow would just have to close her eyes to imagine the smirk and how he bared his teeth. She didn't have to because Angelus was standing right in front of the cave, and the smirk, she couldn't miss.

“Why are you outside?” she whispered, nearly as inaudible as his growl. Angelus made two steps forward.

***

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

***

“Aren't you happy to see your old friend, love?”

Willow took a step back, eyes wide open, hear beating fast. Angelus clicked his tongue three times disapprovingly and caught her without any hesitation. Willow opened her mouth, but she felt his index finger on her lips. He shushed and kissed her forehead innocently.

“Don't make a fuss about it, love.”

“What, what is going on here?”

“You're the witch, love. Tell me.”

Angelus pulled her even closer and Willow felt how he pressed his other hand on her butt, keeping her place. While she was being lifted a bit more in the air, she could see Angelus still lying lifeless in his cage.

“How, what, how...oh my god.”

Suddenly, the second Angelus caught her chin and pressed his fingers against her red cheeks. There was anger in his face before he turned into a vampire. Then, the smirk returned and his face came even closer to her. “You know, love. Don't mention his name here. As long as I am here, he can't protect you. And besides...you're a goddess yourself, love. And least you could be.”

***
Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words
This is the last time
Cause you and I, we were born to die

***

Willow looked into his eyes – she looked into his yellow eyes and closed her own then. “I know you,” she said. “You're The First.”

“Technically speaking, yes. I am. Does that surprise you?”

“As far as I know, you're not solid,” Willow replied.

“I have been haunting humanity for all eternity now,” the fake Angelus said, “And I have rarely met a mortal as powerful as you are. Men, of course. But never a woman, not even a women as innocent as you. ”

Willow felt his hand in her hair, how he pulled it aside and his thumb caressed her cheek. His human face returned. “You're so powerful that I'm even allowed a solid form in your presence, love.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Eats your heart out, doesn't he?” Angelus said, “All those years when Xander was not looking at you and Buffy had him of all people. Don't tell me about your little witch and the werewolf. We both know that you have always been envious of Buffy. I know it because I was there and monitored every move you made. Getting into witchcraft – and no one was the one to notice you, no matter how powerful you have become. And you know what the best part is? You can't have him. Never. But you can have me instead.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Angelus came closer and kissed her. Unlike the kisses Willow had shared with Tara, those moments of love and passion, his kisses were demanding and dominating, concluding in a struggle Willow was nearly about to lose when he let her go.

The vampire let her fall and Willow's feet touched the solid ground again. Angelus made a step back and leaned against the cage. He looked back at the lifeless body on the ground and licked his lips whereas Willow was just about to get the taste so sweet and bitter at the same time off hers. She licked blood.

***
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface,
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

***

“Picture it, love!” Angelus said, his voice now high and raised, even enthusiastic, “You and me united. You could be his dark queen, a dark goddess ruling alongside her prince over the earth. He could command any army of demons you could summon with your magicks. He could kill the slayers and both of you could become vessels for my power. Your kingdom, love, could have no borders, just with him at your side. It would be glorious.”

“And why would I do that? Why would I want that?” Willow asked.

“Isn't it obvious, love? The only thing you ever wanted and gained was power. And with Angelus at your side, you can get love as well.”

“I don't want to be a vampire, I'm sorry,” Willow replied quietly. “And I've been loved many times.”

Angelus laughed. “Who's talking about vampires and love? You can live forever, my love. You know it – there are many secrets left for you to discover and he could guide you. You crossed this line once before and here is your chance. Forget what's happening in L. A. and Sunnydale. Free me, your darkest prince. I don't need a soul. I need you at my side, love. We would make love for centuries before conquering it all. You want it. You know It.”

***

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes

I screamed aloud, as it tore through them,

and now it's left me blind

***

It was only a moment of blindness, but Willow knew that her eyes had turned black, as had her roots. She looked down and walked towards the cage. The fake Angelus took position behind her and pressed his body against her back; she could feel his hard member and his fingers tracing along her spine. He pulled her hair aside and kissed her neck without all the tenderness Tara had offered.

Tara.

Tara.

Oz.

Tara.

Xander.

Buffy.

Tara.

Tara.

Giles.

Oh, Tara.

The names merely an unspoken whisper.

***
I think I'll love you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies
Late is better than never
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive, drive

***

“Look at him,” Angelus said. His hand left her spine. He laid it on her stomach and pulled her towards the upper half of his body and she let him. “He's your sleeping beauty. Your sleeping, dangerous beauty, your dark prince. Kiss him awake, my queen, and destroy this place, this world with all the power bestowed on you. It's all you want. Doesn't it get easier to cross a line you know you don't have anymore? Feel it. Embrace the darkness you have become”

“I have been thinking,” Willow said.

“About what, love?” Angelus asked. He started kissing her neck again and already had his hand under her shirt. “Tell me everything.”

“If it's my power that made you solid, Angelus,” Willow said. She touched the bar and slowly bended it with her will. “What should stop me from destroying you while you're at this state?”

The First made a step back.

***
It's written upon your face
All the lies how they cut so deeply
You can't get enough you take
And take and take and never say

***

“You said that I'm a goddess yourself.” Willow turned around and knew that her eyes were still pitch-black, but became green again when she saw Tara standing on the other side.

“Tara,” Willow whispered.

“You know what you have to do, Willow. I was your past and will always be your past. But Angelus is your future. Give back his freedom and he can give you all I never could.” Tara came back and laid her on Willow's breast, on Willow's heart. “You're an Amazon, my love. You can be Wonder Woman and he will be your Dark Knight, Willow. Embrace your destiny.”

“Don't say that, Tara! I loved you. I always have.”

“Loved. Past tense. I still do. And he will.”

Willow felt the first tear in her eye and quickly moved it aside. She clenched a fist and the darkness returned into her eyes along with a few more tears to follow. “I give you one chance. Leave. I did once cross a line. I nearly destroyed the world. So don't piss me off again!”

Tara said, “You wouldn't use your magicks for anything, so don't boast.” Then, the First changed into Buffy. “And don't you dare do my job, you bitch!”

Willow stretched out her hand and the First disappeared. All she could hear was Angelus' laughter, and then his voice. “I had you, so close. But remember, my love. When I'm finished with you and your little gang, I will let you live. I will rip out Angel's heart and then, he will be my dark prince. And you won't be able to do anything about it. I promise.”

Willow didn't look back. She just moved upstairs and let Angel's body lay at his place. She could feel the darkness inside of her. But she was no longer afraid.

She was angry, powerful. And still the goddess The First had called her.


***

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

***