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That's Not How You Eat

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Stiles stopped listening to the conversation the rest of the pack were having somewhere around Derek’s first bite into the apple in his hand. Apple juice slid down the side of Derek’s hand, and he dipped his head down to lick it off. That was what caught Stiles’ attention, what got him to watch as Derek licked up his hand, eyes on Stiles.

Stiles watched as Derek swallowed the bite of apple, then took another one, neither listening to what the others were saying. They had become background noise the moment Stiles locked eyes with Derek, the moment Derek’s tongue had slipped out and slid up his hand.

Derek grinned at him, obviously aware of what he was doing to him, and Stiles licked his lips, continued to watch. He watched as Derek took another bite, then another.

Straight through the core of the apple.

Seeds and everything.

And Derek didn’t seem like he minded it. Like he intended to do that.

What had previously been a slightly lustful gape quickly turned to a disgusted one, and Stiles made a face. “That’s not how you eat apples.”

Scott, who had been in the middle of a sentence, stopped talking and looked at Stiles, confused, the others just as confused, as they followed Scott’s gaze.

Derek’s chewing slowed down a little, and he looked from Stiles to the now quiet pack, then back to Stiles, brows knitted together. “What?”

“That’s not how you eat apples, Derek,” Stiles repeated, disgust still expressed on his face. “You don’t eat the middle of it, you eat around it. Like a normal human being!”

Derek sighed and gave Stiles a look, swallowing the bits of apple he had in his mouth. “Well, I’m not human now, am I?”

Stiles rolled his eyes and groaned. “Either way, you don’t eat apples like that!”

Derek stared at him, face blank, for several seconds, before he raised the apple to his mouth and bit down into the core without taking his eyes off of Stiles.

Stiles scoffed in disgust. “You’re gross, Derek.”


“Thanks,” Derek told the guy behind the counter, paid him, and then turned to grab the ice cream cone from Stiles.

Stiles was already happily licking at his own, and he fell into step with Derek as they walked down the street. “I can’t believe you actually bought me ice cream,” he said, smiling widely at the cone in his hand. “I mean, I was just joking when I said you should do it.”

Derek huffed next to him, their shoulders brushing against each other as they walked. “And I just want to see if you can actually eat that ice cream after the dinner we just had.”

Stiles scoffed. “There will always be room for ice cream in my stomach, Derek. You should know this by now. Besides,” he dipped his tongue into the soft ice cream, licked off a bit of it, “this is great ice cream. I don’t care if my stomach’s gonna be bursting when I’m done, I’m gonna finish- what are you doing?” He stopped mid-sentence when he looked over at Derek.

Derek who dug his front teeth into his own ice cream.

Derek blinked and looked back at him as he chewed the cold and soft cream. “Eating ice cream?” he said slowly, brows furrowing.

“In the completely wrong way, yeah.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “There’s no wrong way to eat ice cream, just like there was no wrong way to eat apples.”

“There absolutely is!” Stiles exclaimed, flailing his arms around. “And you’re doing both the wrong way! You don’t eat ice cream with your teeth, you lick it!”

With an annoyed sigh, Derek wrapped his arm around Stiles’ shoulders and stuck his tongue out to lick at the ice cream. “Just eat your damn ice cream, you idiot.”

Stiles patted Derek’s chest with his free hand, nodding. “That’s better, big guy.” He licked at his own ice cream a few times. “By the way, I’m totally gonna have a stomachache after this.”

“I know.”


“Oh my God!” Stiles exclaimed as he opened the door to Scott and Kira’s house and stepped inside, Derek following shortly behind with a bottle of wine in hand. “It smells amazing in here!”

Kira smiled widely as she came down the hallway toward them, arms wrapping around Stiles when they were close. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Are you kidding?” Stiles hugged Kira back, stepping away to let Derek give her the wine. “I wouldn’t miss Scott’s cooking for anything. He’s not as good as Derek, but he’s definitely good.”

“Thanks!” came Scott’s dry voice from the kitchen, and Stiles grinned.

Spaghetti was on the menu and when Scott brought it out, Stiles licked his lips and rubbed his hands together. “Oh my God, I’m so hungry. I might eat all of it or at least half.”

“Go ahead,” Scott said as he sat down next to Kira. “I made way too much anyway.”

“Well, you don’t have to say that twice.” Stiles was immediately up and making himself a plate of spaghetti. And one for Derek too, of course, because he was a great boyfriend.

He had only just twirled spaghetti around his fork and lifted it to put it in his mouth, when he saw Derek pick up not only his fork but his knife as well, cutting into the spaghetti on his plate. “What are you doing?”

Derek’s shoulders slumped as he sighed, annoyance clear. “Eating spaghetti, Stiles,” he said firmly and continued to cut through the spaghetti.

“But that’s not how you eat spaghetti, Derek!” Stiles put down his own fork, the spaghetti twirled around it slipping off.

Scott and Kira shared a look from across the table, but quietly continued to eat from their own plates. Derek lowered his knife and fork and turned to Stiles. “That’s how I eat spaghetti.”

“Well, it’s the wrong way,” Stiles shot back, reaching over and grabbing Derek’s fork from him, stabbing it into the spaghetti mountain and twirling it around. “You twirl it around and stuff it in your face. Ta-dah, you eat spaghetti like a normal person!”

Derek groaned and dramatically rolled his eyes, his head rolling slightly with them. “I don’t need you to teach me how to eat!”

“Clearly you do!” Stiles picked up the fork, spaghetti already slipping off, as he held it in front of Derek’s frowning lips. “Open wide, big boy!”


It was a stay at home date night and Stiles was putting on a movie while Derek paid the pizza guy at the door. Stiles had just thrown himself back on the couch, picking up the remote, when Derek came over to the couch, pizza box and plates in hand.

Stiles grabbed the pizza box from Derek and popped it open on the table in front of them, licking his lips. “God, I’m starving,” he said, taking the plate he was handed and smacking a slice of pizza onto it.

“You’re always starving.” Derek grabbed a slice too, taking the remote from Stiles to start the movie, since Stiles was too busy stuffing his mouth with pizza.

“I just really love food,” Stiles said around the giant bite he had taken, except it came out as more noise than actual words, and he didn’t miss the fond smile that was on Derek’s lips even as he shook his head.

The movie started and ten seconds into the first scene, Stiles scooted closer to Derek for movie cuddles, pizza slice halfway to his mouth when Derek’s elbow nudged him. Closing his mouth, he glanced down at Derek’s hands.

Derek’s hands holding a fork and a knife.

“Oh no you don’t.” Stiles dropped his slice and grabbed the utensils from Derek, throwing them onto the table. “We talked about this. You don’t eat pizza like that.”

Derek groaned, nostrils flaring slightly as he sighed heavily. “Why can’t I eat pizza like that? It’s not as messy, and I don’t get as much shit stuck in my beard.”

“And I’ll just pick the shit out,” Stiles said with a shrug, taking another bite although this time it was smaller.

“Or maybe I’ll just shave it off,” Derek threatened, looking firmly at Stiles.

Stiles gaped at him, mouth full but he didn’t care. “Don’t you dare.” He brought his free hand up and ran his fingers through the beard on Derek’s jaw. Derek had been growing out his stubble a bit, hadn’t bothered shaving in a while. “I love your beard.”

“Then let me eat my pizza how I want to.”

Stiles pouted at him, huffing as he sat back. “Fine, eat your pizza the wrong way.”

“Thank you.” Derek got up, grabbed the fork and knife, and sat back down. He didn’t use them though, and Stiles grinned smugly at him.


Stiles let out a loud and shaky moan as he felt Derek’s tongue push inside of him, beard prickly against his cheeks. His hands closed around fistfuls of sheets, the side of his face pressing against the damp pillow, damp from the drool Stiles hadn’t bothered holding back.

He moaned and shuddered, hips pushing back against Derek’s tongue teasingly licking at his rim. His cock twitched, a string of pre-cum leaking out onto the sheet below him. He reached a hand down to touch himself, fist closing around his cock.

“Fuck, Derek,” he moaned hoarsely. Derek’s hands were big on his ass, holding his cheeks apart as he licked him open.

“At least you know how to eat ass,” Stiles let out in a breathy voice, grinning when he heard Derek snort.