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The sky above and the earth below our feet
The Fates willing us to meet
Giving us reason and destiny cold
But I do not believe they were ever told
Of the borrowed heaven we chanced to find
The minute I saw you and made you mine
And though our time is short and shall pass
Though we must travel separate paths
Take care in knowing I have no regrets
As I take my last steps, and breathe my last breaths
In our borrowed time I told you true
There is nothing I would not do for you
Flames…
The dreams had become more frequent now that her son was older, and though he was still rather young, Tohru was very aware that she would be leaving him soon. She will have to step into the flames and sacrifice herself for her son. It has been the duty of her family to be sacrifices for others, dolls to protect those of importance. Her son is the most important person alive. His choices after her death will shape the world. His choices will make him miserable, but that is something she tries not to think about. She has done everything possible for him. She can only hope he chooses for the best.
The world will either end or find salvation by his hands and his choices.
As she meandered into the kitchen to prepare breakfast she realized that her death would come that night. Shutting her brown eyes she thought of what the after life was going to be like. If there is any justice in the world death will bring her back to the one she loved. She couldn't remember the last time she feared death. Her only fears are for her son. Her fears are for those affected by his choices.
Opening her eyes she shook the melancholy from her thoughts. Life was what was, and her little pieces of borrowed time were all used up.
With a deep breath the brunette finished making breakfast and sent her teenage son off to school. She made sure to take a little extra time with him. She looked into his eyes and saw how much of his world she occupied. Her death would hurt him deeply and it would take him a long time before he could understand why, why she had to do it.
For moment after her son left she was not sure what she wanted to do with her day. She only had until the early evening and then she would have to return, making sure she arrived well before her son did. She'll use her magic to keep him from trying to save her. That would be best and it would be easier for her.
Making up her mind she moved to the window and looked out at the clear blue sky. Her choices were so much easier to make in the past. Perhaps it was because she was young and knew exactly how much time she had and how precious it was. She regretted nothing. She knew what her destiny was going to be once she made the choice. She just didn't know that not everything was going to be as coldly scripted as she thought it would.
She loves me
Under the cool blue sky
Away from the world
Making me her own
With deep kisses
And a soft touch
Whispering her dreams
The ones that won't come true
She loves me
Under the light of the moon
Away from the life we are forced to live
Making me a sinner
With her sweet tongue
In her cool arms
Whispering her fears
The ones no one else can hear
She loves me
And she loves me
Parting with the dawn
Watching from afar with dark eyes
Claiming me as I walk away
Drifting back into our set places
Waiting for another moment, another life
When she can love me
Tohru walked down to the park and found a shady spot under a tree to sit. She leaned back against the sturdy trunk and shut her eyes. Half asleep in deep thought there was only one person that came to mind. It was Saya. It always seemed to be Saya that invaded her thoughts when she was thinking too much. Shy, obedient, Saya, who always called herself weak, but honestly, Tohru had never met anyone so strong.
She had met Saya in high school where they became friends and then lovers. She had been adverse to taking a lover given her destiny. She was not sure she could do the responsible thing in the end and the thought made her open her eyes and chuckle a little bitterly.
All that time deciding wasted and in the end she ended up having to ask Saya to do the responsible thing. The words still rang in her ears sometimes from that day she told Saya to marry into the Monou family shrine. They cut at her even still, after all this time. It was the sad but understanding smile that had crept across her lover's face. The blonde nodding in obedience and saying those words, "I will do anything for you."
And she never complained and she was never afraid. Even when Saya knew she was going to die, and die gruesomely, she never showed her fear. She always said it was because she had made her choice within the first ten minutes of meeting Tohru. That was all it took for her to know that she would do anything for the one she loved.
Tohru grimaced and checked her watch. A song popped into her head and she wondered why. She spoke the words softly, "And I liked it so well that for all I can tell I may never come down again. I may never come down to earth again."
She stood up and leaned against the tree watching a group of children run by with kites. Remembering how happy she was that she could watch Saya be a mother, watching her son with Saya's children, and for brief moments pretending that it was just the two of them. Pretending that the future had not been foretold, nor destinies written, though not in stone. There was a permanence to what she knew.
There was a time when she did not have to pretend. There was a time when it was just the two of them arguing on the roof of their high school. Tohru pushing all the reasons why they could never be together, not the way Saya wanted. Tohru pushing in the hopes it would make Saya go away because she did not want those burdens to fall on her friend. It was all too late though. Everything had been decided.
She remembered how completely off guard she had been taken when the young blonde rushed into her arms and kissed her so deeply she thought she had left the planet. Such forward acceptance of a fate already written, it made Tohru's own stoicism look childish.
And those kisses…soft and sweet that left Tohru breathless for days on end. Kisses that ended in nights of passion under star filled skies. Kisses that offered everything Saya was feeling that could not be said out loud. There was hardly anything better back in those days.
I'll go my life living a lie
Dying I'll change my form
The punishment I can take
With fins instead of feet
I will visit witches for the chance to see you again
And in the end when I see you love another
I will dive back into the ocean
And become the foam upon the shore
Because I love you
Without fear
Without out doubt
Tohru sat in a small café and sipped her coffee. She checked her watch periodically and eventually left half of her unfinished as she moved back towards her house.
She wondered if Death were watching her, or if she just wanted to believe that as the time approached. It was hard to say. As she walked along the street she could see flashes of how it was going to happen. In some ways it was funny, and in others it was very sad, after all the fire was not supposed to be set by her hand. She was merely taking her son's place. She was a sacrifice. So long as death got someone that's all that seemed to matter.
Once she was back inside the house she locked all the doors and shut the windows. It was very close to her time. She could almost feel the flames lapping across her skin, the hot burning. It was probably going to be painful.
Before Saya died they nearly argued. She was tempted to be foolish, but Saya merely touched her arm in reassurance. Smiling as she did when she had made up her mind about something. She kissed Tohru lightly on the mouth and said, "I am the sacrifice so that you can be his."
And she was not sure how she managed to accept those words without crying, but it was already done. They had made their choices. They had accepted a preordained destiny with open arms, fully aware of all consequence.
Saya had made her choice under a bright blue sky on the roof of their high school. She may have made it before then, but she sealed it with a kiss. She never took it back because she knew that it was important. Tohru had made her choice long before that under a darker sky. In a dream she knew was true.
It was all done. It was set. There was no turning back and her sorrow for her lost lover and her son left her. Saya knew what she was doing. Kamui would find his own way, and she knew that no matter what he choose she would be very proud of him, always.
Tohru moved over to the stove and turned on the gas. Then she lit a match, using her magic to keep her son from entering.
She could feel him rushing towards the house.
She could hear him calling out.
Tohru gave him her love. She told him to go to Tokyo. And then she turned away from him as the flames rose and the fire grew. She looked up into the night sky and she found a constellation, a mermaid, that seemed to swim through the sea of the black night for her. She reached out and shut her eyes. For a moment before everything washed away she thought she could feel someone touch her hand.
I told you once
I said I'd love you forever
Forever is waiting
Shall we swim together in this ocean of stars
You told me once
You told me you'd love me forever
Shall we dance together under the twinkle of a million lights
Forever is waiting
In my arms
In your arms
And in forever
We can have what on earth we could not
An ever after that suits us both
End.