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scars you're keeping

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You've got meth hidden in your chimney.

come on Dahl don't do it don't do it don't shoot up you promised

You don't touch it. Don't want to touch it. You're done with all that. Prison was different, but you ain't in prison no more and your family is here. Your children.

you promised you promised you promised

You've seen the way that Didi looks at you, and it makes you feel guilty. Disgusted. You know she knows, and even more than that you know that if Sam and Cael and Wayne started lookin' at you like that you'd just up and die because what would be the point of livin' after that? So you hide. The marks, the needles, the bottles of cough syrup and them little tiny pills you get from Nina.

don't do it don't do it

Wayne finds out and he forgives you, but you see the judgment in his eyes and you know he's never gonna trust you again. Not like before. Not unless you get clean. And you can't get clean, can you? Because the syrup, the pot, them little pills all numb the pain and if not that then it would be the meth again, and you will not shoot up.

don't shoot up no stop you can't

Wayne's boss – Doug's boss – catches you searching for pills in the neighbor's house. He never says a word. Just touches you. It's wrong and dirty and you don't like it, but you can't move now. Can't let him know you're scared. 'Sides, being a Traveller you've had worse before. Hell, there was worse in prison than his hot, steady hand. This is nothin'. But at the same time it's the dirtiest you've ever felt in your life. It makes you hate yourself.

no stop don't do it you promised don't shoot up oh I want it so bad

You hold the needle in your hand in the closet all night, and you don't shoot up but you want it so bad. Your arm itches for the needle. Your breast burns where Hugh touched you. You hold the promise of relief in your hand and pray and try not to be sick.

please God I don't want it don't let me do it I can't I can't I promised

fin.