Work Header

let's talk about sex

Chapter Text

To: 917-555-1347

[image attachment]

Well, here's what you asked for. Impressed?

Stiles sent the message before he had any time to second guess himself. This was no time for second guessing, this was a time to get laid and that's exactly what Theo Raeken was offering. The only catch was that he had to see Stiles' dick before they got to the bedroom. He wanted Stiles to just whip it out in public, while they were sitting on the bench of the Campus' Starbucks, but that was too risky. Anyone could walk by and see. Stiles wasn't about that.

Theo had scoffed with a grin and called him a wimp, before writing his number on Stiles' hand, instructing him to send him a picture instead. Stiles was okay with that.

Hence the reason he had just sent the picture.

It was only a matter of time before Theo responded.

"Dude, I think I fucked up, like bad this time," Stiles panicked, after catching up to Scott on campus who had been walking to a hot dog stand but stopped once his best friend approached.

Scott sighed, this was really nothing new. It happened at least five times a month. Stiles fucked up a lot, but usually there was this one thing that he did that was just the major fuck up, the one that screws him over for at least a week because he can't stop thinking about it.

And being the great best friend Scott is he always ask, "what happened this time?"

"You know Theo Raeken right?"

"Yeah, the guy you've been pining after for the past three months?"

"I haven't been pining," Stiles gasp at the accusation, "I've been trying to get in his pants Scott, then maybe go on a date or two, go out, get married, adopt a few kids. But that's all, I swear."

Scott rolled his eyes, "what happened anyways?"

"Well yesterday he told me he'd y'know, do the dirty with me, if he saw my size before we actually do it. And he wanted me to just yank my pants down in public for him, but you know I'd never do that so I said I wouldn't. Then he offered an alternative, gave me his number to send him a pic."

"I don't see the problem here."

"Scott listen, listen okay," said Stiles, "so I sent the picture yesterday right when I got home, and he hasn't responded since than okay? It's been over twelve hours Scott, twelve!"

His best friend chuckled shaking his head, "maybe he's just busy Stiles."

"Busy for twelve hours? What college kid doesn't use their phone for twelve hours? Not Theo, that's who. He's almost always on that thing, probably sexting all the guys in the world every second, I swear. All his hotline does is bling."

"Well than what could've possibly went wrong?"

"I don't know. He's probably laughing at me right now, saying, 'this is what Stiles thought was impressive?' He's probably riding some other guy's dick right now and laughing at my picture, and making the other guy laugh too! What if he posts it and calls it pathetic?"

"Chill bro, you have a nice looking dick man. An the size is above average."

"Is it now?"

Scott flinched and turned to be met by his Allison and Lydia both raising a questioning brow at him.

"Babe," he chuckled nervously, "I was just trying to save Stiles from having a panic attack."

Lydia groaned, "another crisis Stiles? What is it, the tenth time this month? What did you do now?"

"I sent Theo Raeken a picture of Stilinski junior because he asked for it and he hasn't responded since."

"First, don't ever call your dick Stilinski junior again. Second, why would you be so stupid? Why couldn't you show him in person," Lydia questioned.

"I would've but we were in public."

"Then drag him to a more private area," Allison said as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

"I mean that-"

"Stilinski," someone shouted.

The four of them turned to see Theo walking towards them and Stiles didn't know if he should be relieved or scared. But by the smirk on Theo's face, he should probably be relieved, probably.

Once Theo walked up to them he greeted the group with a head nod before looking at Stiles, "knew you were a wimp."


"You didn't send the picture. I was waiting Stiles."

Stiles raised his eyebrows at him, "yes I did, you didn't reply!"

"Um, well I got no text messages."

"You're always getting text messages."

"Well none from you."

Stiles pulled out his phone and unlocked it, tapping the Message icon and scrolled down just a centimeter before clicking on Theo's number. Then he handed Theo his phone.

Theo smirked, eyes widening slightly, "definitely impressive... but Stiles, this uh, this isn't my number."

"What? What do you mean?"

"It's 1447, not 1347."

Stiles looked at his friends, Scott and Allison looking shocked and Lydia just looked plain bored.

"Then who the hell did I send this picture to?"

"I don't know, but it surely wasn't me."

Scott patted his shoulder and offered him a sympathetic look, "well, you were right bro. You really did fuck up this time."

"I could've sent it to some weird stalker dude. Or an 80 year old pervert. Or one of my own professors. Shit, what if I sent it to Obama," Stiles thought out loud.

Allison shrugged, "well if your dick is as great as Scott says it is, I guess the person can count it as an extremely early birthday present."

Stiles hates his life.

Later that day, while he was in his room, typing up an essay he received a message.

From: 917-555-1347

You're right, I am very impressed.

"I'm fucking screwed," Stiles whispered to himself.