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Once a Douchebag, Always a Douchebag. Sometimes.

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Stiles comes home from work in a flurry. “Babe! Babe! I got a text from Danny earlier, and you’ll NEVER guess who is back in Beacon Hills!”

Derek is in the kitchen stirring the curry on the stove. “Who?”


Derek drops the wooden spoon. “Bullshit.”

“Yep! Flew in today and went straight to see Lydia, and she ripped him a new one! So proud of her right now. Apparently he’s staying with Scott or something which is weird because I thought Scottie would have told me. Oooooo I wonder if Jackson thought he’d be picking up where he left off with Lydia and she told him to go fuck himself so he went crawling to Scott!! I should call him!”

“Who? Scott?”

“Yeah!! He’ll fill in the blanks.” Stiles goes up to Derek and kisses him on the lips, “Love you baby.” Then he kisses Derek’s belly. “Hello cubs.”

Stiles goes into the bedroom and gets changed, then makes the phone call to Scott. Derek can actually hear him flailing in the bedroom, but he goes back to finishing off dinner. Stiles comes out ten minutes later wearing track pants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. Derek is sitting at the table, with a hand on his bump and an eyebrow raised.

“Well I was right! Turns out Jackson missed Lydia, so he came back thinking she waited for him, and he rocks up at her place and she PUNCHES him. Looks like it broke his nose. And she told him in no uncertain terms he was not welcome, and that it would be a cold day in hell before she’d ever get back with him. I mean, what is he thinking? He hasn’t been here for forever! He’s going to stay with Scott and Kira for a bit until he decides what he’s going to do. Oh, and pack barbeque at Scottie’s tomorrow?”

“Sounds good. I’d kill for some grilled meat.” The cubs give a kick, “And so would your children  apparently.”

Stiles leans forward and rubs Derek’s belly “Awwww my little cubs are meatasauruses like their daddy. You’ll be taking them on woodland creature foraging sessions before you know it.”

Derek deadpanned, “Yes Stiles. We will forage for bunnies and gnaw on their carcasses.”

“I knew it!!”

“Eat your dinner Stiles.”

“Sure thing my bunny muncher.”


Stiles and Derek arrive at the barbeque food in hand. Stiles is carrying a green salad, Derek a potato salad. They’ve also brought enough meat to feed a zoo. They put their salads on the table, and hand the meat over to the Sheriff, who is manning the grill.

Everyone comes up and hugs the boys, and giving a special hello to the cubs Charlie and Abby, until Jackson sees them. He looks Derek up and down, and a smirk appears on his face.

“Holy hell Hale, did you get fat!!”

There is a collective gasp among the pack. Scott is standing next to Kira muttering “No no no oh no this isn’t good.” Lydia’s eyes widen so much it’s possible her eyeballs will pop out. Peter and Cora begin growling. Stiles is FURIOUS, and is stepping towards Jackson to punch him in the face.

And Derek bursts into tears.

Kira, Malia, Melissa, and Lydia all rush forward to console Derek. Derek is sobbing, tears cascading down his face like a waterfall, hands covering his belly.

Stiles storms up to Jackson and knees him in the balls, Jackson doubling over. “What was that for Stilinski?”

“You know what that was for dirtbag. And it’s Stilinski-HALE. WE GOT MARRIED FUCKFACE. And he’s PREGNANT. That man is having my cubs, and I’d suggest you don’t call my husband who is carrying my children fat! If you know what’s good for you!” And with a flourish, Stiles punches Jackson in the already-broken nose.

Jackson is now on the ground, unsure whether to protect his groin or his very broken nose from another onslaught of violence. While clutching his throbbing hand, Stiles looks over to Derek who is bawling, telling all the women around him how he’s been exercising still, but not as hard, and he hasn’t put that much baby weight on. And how could Jackson be so mean!!

Lydia guides Derek to a chair, “Derek honey, you know that Jackson is a douchebag. He’s always been a douchebag. Don’t listen to him. You aren’t fat. You are pregnant. You are responsible for two other lives, other than your own. What you are doing is more important than anything that Jackson would ever do in his pathetic life. Ok?”

Derek nods, taking a glass of juice that Kira hands him in one hand, and rubbing the bump with the other. He’s glaring at Jackson, watching him writhe on the ground, and wishing more horrible things to come to him. Stiles is pacing, holding onto the fist he used to re-break Jackson’s nose.

Peter and Cora have circled Jackson, Cora still growling. Peter stops circling and squats down, “So. Jackson. You come back after all these years and you think it’s ok to first, assume that Lydia would want your pasty ass again, and second, run your mouth off before taking stock of the situation.”

“Oh come on Peter, what did you expect? Last time I saw Derek he looked like he’d been chiselled in marble, now he looks like the Michelin man!”

That triggers a fresh burst of tears from Derek, and another punch in the nose, this time from Cora.

“Are you blind numbnuts? Look at him!! He’s clearly PREGNANT and not fat. Leave your brain behind in London, hmmm?”

Jackson spits blood out on the ground and looks up. “Really? Another punch in the nose? I don’t think calling Derek fat warrants being punched in the face.”

John hands the barbeque tongs over to Scott, and walks over to Jackson. Looming over him John looks down, and Jackson, being the douchebag that he is, thinks John is there to help.

“Thank god you’re here Sheriff.” Jackson reaches out for John to take his hand and help him up, but John crosses his arms against his body.

“You can help yourself off the ground, son. Now you listen here. I will not have you insulting the bearer of my grandchildren, do you understand? So you will get yourself up, apologise to Derek, and make sure you don’t piss anyone else off this afternoon. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Now go inside and clean up. Melissa will be inside in a minute to check on your nose. And then you come back out here and behave.”

“Yes sir.”

John nods, and then makes his way over to Stiles, who has gone to Derek, and is kneeling in front of him, holding his hands, and whispering calming words. “It’s ok baby, I’m sure if anyone else punches Jackson his nose will fall off.”

John shakes his head. “No more violence today Stiles.”

“Oh come on dad, you heard Jackson! He totally deserves more punches in the face.”

“No Stiles.”

“What about kicks in the balls?”

“NO Stiles.”

Derek looks up through tears at John. “Do I get to kick him in the balls?”

John sighs. “As much as he deserves it Derek, I don’t think inflicting more bodily harm to Jackson is actually helpful. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Everyone has been awesome. Thanks for talking to Jackson.”

“Anytime. Now I’m going to take back the barbeque before Scott ruins the meat.”

Not long after, Jackson comes back, face clean, but nose bent. He sheepishly walks up to Derek. Derek stands, knocking Stiles over. Stiles scrambles back up, limbs flailing like a baby giraffe.

“Uh Derek. I’m really sorry about what I said. It was wrong, and uncalled for, and I apologise. I’d also like to offer my congratulations to you, and Stiles, and the pack. I realised back there that this is a pretty big deal. So congrats. And uh, sorry again.”

Derek’s nostrils are flaring, hands clenched in fists at his side. He growls low, and Jackson flinches, but then lowers his head, and bares his neck as a show of respect to his Alpha. Derek takes a deep breath, “Thank you Jackson.”

Jackson nods, then backs away. The pack then all sighs in relief, and the chatter continues. Finally the meat is cooked, as everyone digs in, finding spots around the backyard to sit and chat, Jackson hiding behind Scott.

As the night comes to an end, Jackson approaches Stiles, “I really am sorry about what I said. Do you think Derek forgives me?”

“If you ask me he shouldn’t, but I’m sure he does. You’re pack after all, even though you abandoned us for London.”

“Good to see you haven’t changed Stilinski.”

“Stilinski-Hale. How many times do I have to say that?”

“I just like pissing you off.”

“Good to see you haven’t changed Whittemore.”

Jackson snorts, then walks off into the house. Stiles shakes his head and goes to find Derek, who is snoozing on a love seat.

“Hey baby, it’s time to get you and the cubs home.” Stiles brushes Derek’s cheek with the back of his hand. Derek just nods, and holds out his hand for Stiles to take. They say their goodbyes, and walk hand in hand to the car.


The next morning, Stiles is woken up with knock on the door. Not wanting Derek to get up, Stiles sits up, stretches, and slowly makes his way to the dresser to get some pyjama pants. On the way to the door, the person on the other side knocks again. “Coming coming, don’t get your panties in a twist.” Stiles opens the door, and standing there is Jackson, surrounded by boxes.

“Oh hey Stiles, hope I didn’t wake you.”

“You did actually, but thankfully you didn’t wake Derek.”

“Oh that’s good. I mean, that’s good I didn’t wake Derek, but sorry about waking you.”

“What are you doing here Jackson? And what are all these boxes?”

“Look, I wanted to apologise again for how I behaved yesterday. I was a dick.”

“No arguments from me.”

“Right. Well, I was talking to Scott last night, and he mentioned that you still needed to get the major stuff for the babies. So I bought it for you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I bought it for you. I bought two cribs, and a changing table, a large tall boy for all their stuff. There are two bassinets. Kira said that when they are newborn, babies are better off in bassinets. So I got two. And I bought the top of the line stroller for twins.”

“You bought all that.”

“I know it’s not enough, but I really am sorry. And I’m really happy for you both, and for the pack.”

“You bought all that. For us. You bought all that.”

Derek comes shuffling in from behind Stiles, resting his head on Stiles’ shoulder. “What’s all this babe? Hi Jackson.”

“Jackson came to apologise again Der. And he bought the cubs some stuff.”

“He did? You did? You didn’t have to do that Jackson.”

“I really did. It’s important that the cubs have the best stuff. And it’s important that their parents don’t need to worry about getting that stuff for them. Scott said that you were starting to worry about it Derek, so I got some of the stuff for you. I hope that was ok?”

Stiles is ping-ponging from Derek to Jackson, back to Derek, back to Jackson. He’s never seen Jackson be so nice and thoughtful to anyone before. He’s stoked, really stoked, because they were starting to worry about setting up the nursery. But with the bulk of the stuff purchased for them, this is a massive help.

Stiles turns to Derek, to see his eyes filling with tears. Uh oh.

Derek bursts into tears again, but this time he walks forward and wraps Jackson up in a massive hug. Stiles can hear Derek talking to Jackson, but it’s muffled and he has no idea what he’s saying. Obviously Jackson can understand, as he notices once Derek’s pulled away, Jackson’s eyes are also filled with tears.

Jackson smiles, wiping the unfallen tears away with the back of his hand. “So, let’s get these boxes inside huh? I’ll help you put them all together.”

Derek is standing there nodding, big smile on his face, tears still falling. Stiles is still stunned, but shakes the fog from his brain enough to help bring the boxes in.



Four hours, much swearing, and many beers later, and all the furniture has been put together. All three men are standing there smiling, Stiles and Jackson because of their handiwork, Derek because he’s just blissfully happy.

Stiles turns to Jackson with a smile. “Thanks again for this dude. It is ridiculously generous of you.”

Jackson smiles back. “No worries. I’m glad that my money is actually helpful for once.”

Both men turn to look at Derek. Derek is standing there silently, one hand rubbing his belly, the other wiping away tears. “You ok babe?”

Derek laughs. “Yep, I am. Thank you Jackson.” The Alpha pulls Jackson in for another hug (whether he likes it or not). “You are always welcome here Jackson. You are pack.”

“Thanks man. Look I should go, I promised Scott I’d be back tonight. But, can I come visit again before I go back to London?”

Stiles claps a hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “Absolutely. As Derek said, you are always welcome here.”

The front door is opened, and Jackson begins his walk down the path. “Good to see you again Stilinski!”

“Goddammit Jackson, it’s Stilinski-Hale!!”